Introducing Stories for Robots

Spark and Vector are robots. Silly robots. Sure, they’ve read the whole internet, but humans are still so confusing. Like, what are hot dogs and…why? And what’s up with wearing pants? To find out, they’re learning the old-fashioned way: with stories. Join them as they hear some of humanity’s most timeless tales with plenty of laughs and surprisingly insightful questions along the way.

We all grew up with the same classic animated movies: The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Cinderella… you know the ones. In Season One of Stories for Robots, you’ll hear those same stories. But also totally not.

Every week, I tell my two robot pals, Spark and Vector, the original stories that inspired the movie classics. You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You probably won’t hurl. But you will be shocked at how wildly different, slightly weird, and utterly enchanting these stories are.

Written, narrated and produced by Griffin Schwed. Spark and Vector are performed by Griffin, and their voices are transformed with AI voice technology. The show's music is made with AI tools.

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What is Stories for Robots?

Stories for Robots is a funny storytelling podcast for kids 5 to 11 and the grown-ups listening with them. Join Griffin as he tells classic stories to Spark and Vector, two silly robots who have read the entire internet but still don’t understand humans. Like, what are hot dogs and… why? And what’s up with wearing pants?

Season one tells the original fairy tales behind the famous animated films: the real Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Aladdin, Rapunzel, Beauty and the Beast and The Snow Queen, the way Hans Christian Andersen, the Brothers Grimm and others first told them.

About 20 minutes an episode: perfect for car rides, road trips or a story before bed. A funny podcast for kids and adults alike, great for kids listening on their own and even better together. New episodes every Thursday. Free and ad-free.

Spark and Vector are performed by Griffin, and their voices are transformed with AI voice technology. The show’s music is made with AI tools.

Griffin: In a world where human
behavior is confusing and weird.

Vector: I do not understand pants.

Griffin: Vector, not now.

Two robots are doing the best
they can to figure it all out.

Spark: Okay, but is salad lettuce or is
it like meat and mayonnaise and pasta?

Griffin: Guys, guys, you
gotta stop interrupting.

I'm trying to do my
trailer narrator guy voice.

Spark: Is that what that was?

Vector: You sound like you
need medical attention.

Griffin: Fine, I'll just
use my normal voice.

I'm Griffin Schwed.

Each week, join me,

Griffin: Spark, and Vector on
Stories for Robots, a new show

where I'll be telling some of
humanity's greatest and most timeless

stories to these two bolt buckets.

Vector: That is extremely
offensive in robot culture.

We prefer the chrome
and cadmium community.

Griffin: Sorry.

In season one, I'll be telling the
real stories behind the movies just

about every human on Earth has seen.

Spark: We're talking Aladdin, Cinderella,
The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast.

Griffin: Yeah,

and the originals are pretty
different from the ones you know.

For example, the real Little Mermaid has
serious competition from another princess.

Spark: Hey, no spoilers.

Griffin: I wasn't gonna.

Oh, and the real Cinderella?

No fairy godmother at all.

The magic comes from a
bird that lives in a tree

Spark: Oh yeah, but we like to
think of her as a fairy godpigeon.

Griffin: And Aladdin?

Did you know there were actually two
genies and multiple evil wizards?

Vector: Fun fact, All wizards
have terrible facial hair.

Griffin: Right.

Every episode, you'll hear the real
story, weird parts included, alongside

two robots hearing it for the first time.

Vector: You will laugh
until your arms fall off.

Griffin: That is not a thing.

Vector: You will laugh until you barf.

Griffin: Legally, I can't
promise that, but maybe.

Parents, your kids are gonna wanna
hear this show, and so are you.

These original versions of the classics
are timeless, weird, completely

enchanting, and nothing like you remember.

So press follow wherever you're
listening, and episode one of

Stories for Robots will show up in
your feed all by itself this fall.

Vector: Press it now before you forget.

Spark: Oh yeah, if you don't follow
now, you're totally gonna forget.

Vector: How many gigabytes
of RAM do humans have?

Spark: It doesn't work that way.

They remember what they want
and forget everything else.

Vector: Fascinating.

So inferior.

Spark: Yeah, but they're so cute.

I love them.