Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration

Baldric eats a fireball to open the door. A cursed portrait of Sandal melts seventy points off Tanhauser's face. A tongueless assassin begs for freedom, then chokes to death on a rot-grown tongue the instant he crosses the threshold. And an illusion wearing Stewart's body rips its own head off to whisper two words: "find Zale."

Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

Creators and Guests

Host
Thurston Hillman
GM for @NarrativeDeclar. Freelance Writer. Associate Publisher @paizo. Opinions are my own. Contact me at: thurston@oncallgm.com.
Host
ZoranTheWizard
🧙‍♂️| Wizard🎲| Owner/Host of Narrative Declaration🔮| Castin' Spells in the TTRPG Industry! All relevant info on my website: http://zoranthewizard.com
Guest
Earndil
Lead Writer for a variety of current projects by Alfabusa. Nurgle enthusiast, and Comedy Goblin torturer.
Guest
HulkyKrow 📺👺
🎙 Voice Actor, gourmet, and neon aficionado🐦 Player/VA for Narrative Declaration, Ogre Poppenang📺 https://twitch.tv/hulkykrow
Guest
odo
she/they | sensitive gay tabletop slime, elf pirate enthusiast, sometimes i do voices catch me as Vaali/Khelrana/others at Narrative Declaration, Sybil in the Norfolk Wizard Game, and Grimal in Hunter: The Parenting!❤️💍 @gravetidings.bsky.social
Guest
SpeakerD
Lead Writer for 'Hunter: the Parenting', 'If The Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device' and more! | Storyteller for Norfolk Wizard Game | Player for Narrative Declaration | He/They | https://speakerd.carrd.co/ |

What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?

Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com

are you ready for another exciting episode of
big solid rectangle in the territories they were known as galactic
with that you ever say something awkward and then the music at the party stops
yeah all right welcome everybody to another exciting episode of rock grind i'd like to
introduce you to the amazing people that will bring you this awesome adventure today starting
off from left to right on our screen with odoroshi hello it's me odo i haven't mentally prepared to
make an introduction today but i am playing vena the sylph swashbuckler and uh you know chat you look
great today yeah nice hair you've earned it treat yourself no you said you weren't prepared i'm not
mentally prepared oh will you be mentally prepared to give the recap for today
no
okay
next up we have the almost starboard and amazing stuck in his own starcomb syndrome
hulky crow do we really need to bring that up every time
i know the relationship that i have with that product is abusive i like the pain if i didn't
i wouldn't keep coming back hello good afternoon and happy saturday chat i'm hulky crow uh stupid
voice clown man today i will be playing the kanrasu cleric rahua and i hope you remember to brush your
teeth because if you didn't three days i don't know yeah remind like remember we'll find you and of course
we have the other starboard baldrick in erondale yeah yeah no it's me baldrick just baldrick
i'm a six foot two human male in real life no uh yeah motherfucker uh my name is erndel and i play uh
baldrick weathers the human alchemist and he is uh here to remind you that if you don't brush your teeth
in three days uh tartar buildup will eventually lead to any gaps between your teeth being filled up
and that's not very pleasant you want to be able to feel the air brush between your teeth as you're
blowing out it feels very nice
and what i'll give you that breezy feeling is speaker d
hi i'm speaker d i'm gonna give you that breezy feeling
i play tan hauser and i have some bad news for you uh we're gonna have to remove your brain strap it
into an armored tank and use it to shoot down innocent civilians with its concentrated
it's okay grandpa sit down it's okay the war's over good news is your insurance is gonna cover the
thing so that's my bit and the one good bit good bit streamer and the one who will facilitate all
the people to be in the targeting range is our glorious game master thurston hillman oh i'm just
lucky i'm canadian and i get free health care to cover all this stuff i mean hello everybody it's me i
look forward to another fun exciting session and um yes excitement i think my favorite bit is that
every time i'll talk to thurston just like oh man i had to pay 500 to take care of my common cold he'll
just kind of lean back and just rub his belly but oh that free health care i have
look we're not gonna have it for like the rest of my lifetime i'm pretty sure so i'm enjoying it now
while i can oh no yeah have a good time while it lasts of course i am your host host for this
evening i am zoro the bear i am playing uh oran the strix druid and as a reminder we're all level
eight and some people forget what level we are and stuff like that so with all that thurston yep
i think we laughed off at a certain particular time last episode but what adventure do you have for us
today well i'm really excited for the recap that odoroshi rider is going to provide us right oh yeah
give it a shot yeah as we put you all right all right i uh hey hey boom boom boom boom oh oh oh the bit
has destabilized quantum space oh no wait am i actually giving the recap i was not i was i was not
informed ahead of time that's the you're paying attention to the game right last time on rot grind
our intrepid band of chonkle funks managed to make their way to shopping and we shopped and we bought
things and we did stuff with those things as well before eventually making our way to sacristy manor
the home of old man cademan gold man cademan being the grandfather of sandal declin the big fat stupid
asshole idiot man and with his quanchier bodyguards his big old party yeah well we're going there
brother and after we made our way to sacristy manor which is an old manor that is from the old
city and it's flown under the radar and nobody's noticed we wound up talking to a dead guy that dead
guy was really polite because someone rolled a nat 20 on a charisma roll because of that he told us
about the bullshit about to happen then we went forward into the house to make an appointment with
old man cademan because he would not see us unless we had an appointment and by appointment i mean
breaking and entering and trespassing then bad shit started to happen and then we had to go home and
then i slept and then i slept and then i slept and then i woke up and now i'm here uh and then recap
give give speaker d a hero point and give me a villain point for having to sit through that
uh here's your hero point
excellent excellent good job speaker well thank you
uh but yeah we uh we started off with a little uh uh right into a fighty fight because as you had
entered uh sacristy manor's courtyard you were informed of a uh of a trap of sorts that um
would activate should you pass a threshold which you had gorgamunger do and once gorgamunger flew
over that threshold the area became uh filled with like an icy chill and suddenly bursting from the
fountain were several um strange creatures made of crystals and snow
whoop uh which immediately came out to threaten you and we are starting that's right this session
begins in combat
what are you doing
uh who's time
sorry sorry it muddled up the audio a little bit so i didn't hear it there since i was like
he did he say who am i going to jump the gun again uh who are seeing the situation unfolding
actually does rahua see it all because of the haze over the arena uh you you do so the idea is is
that this haze is providing concealment to everything i which you may remember you may remember from uh
the the the concealed episode at the start of season two so you've got to make flat checks anytime you
want to target something i understand okay rahua will look through the haze yes and target
the adjacent blizzard born that i am now targeting you are seeing me target them
and rahua is going to do as rahua does and unleash a roiling torrent of bubbling anarchic energy as i
cast anarchic barrage now what do i need to roll for the flat check just uh
i roll a d20 and on a five or higher you succeed
look at that i love getting those those high rolls out on my concealment checks okay
good job orange now thick on that attack roll applause i will do that
yeah you win some and you lose some oh a lack and a last that will miss by three as your uh as you
create uh since you missed i'll decide you create a bunch of cutlery in the air that goes flying
through this uh this icy creature that has just manifested uh at the periphery of the fountain
um all right rahua uh you still have one action left i believe in doing so rahua will try and reposition
yes and move a little bit further up uh are these hedges tall enough to be seen over are they like
10 feet high um they're they're they're they are not tall enough to oh sorry they are tall enough to
to block vision yeah not like a hardcore like you could basically see them if there weren't the the
icy effect it would be concealment as well so i see okay that's good to know uh rahua will move a
little bit further up joey actually move back and abandon tanhauser echo his fate no
i declare tanhauser dead
all right um well that gives us to one of these these blizzarding creatures which
shifts off of the fountain um coming towards you tanhauser it's not allowed are you you're gonna
allow it no i'll allow it okay thank you thank you thank you and then it uh proceeds to slash at you
with claws made out of ice these talons coming towards you
um and that will will hit you for a grand total of uh 14 points of damage and you are taking now
some persistent cold as once this thing digs its claws into um into your arm you feel like icicles
spreading out and your blood begins to freeze uh for its last action it takes a uh another swing at you
and misses uh very terribly uh that brings us over to vena vena you are up
okie dokie all right well unfortunately i have bad news about my rapier uh it does frost damage so i
can put two and two together about how well that's going to deal with these things
uh so what i am instead going to do is i am going to move here
mm-hmm uh and i am going to fire uh i'm going to spend my first action to move and then i'm going to
fire my uh gun through these guys oh yeah do you want to you want to paste that in chat for what that
does yeah uh i have to go into items because it's homebrew where are you good move vena yay yay uh
how do i post this in chat uh just collect the icon of it that should do it it's yeah
all right cool cool cool cool all right so i have to make a dc 21 reflex save so i will start with
the closest one to you indeed and then the back one
15 and one oh bail and a crit success so the one in the back is unaffected but the front one
is hit uh please roll me uh that sweet sweet 5d6 fire damage yay uh 14 fire damage oh that's pretty
cool because that will actually do a bit more because these things are weak to fire yay oh wow
yeah yeah yeah they uh they take some extra damage uh wait one sec why did it do that what
what did it do 33 that's not right sorry is the no that should that should not have happened one sec
they don't take that there we go there we go i don't know why that happened anytime that happens
could you scream at thurts and gone let the damage through right through my damage
also we need you to help yeah also uh it is dazzled one as you shoot this uh this this blast out
causing it to be dazzled bang good job you move you shoot that's it for you yep that was yeah that was
three actions so that's me go uh next go yes that brings us to the one you just walked past this
this entity here it moves
don't you there okay they're good
it proceeds to flank with its ally oh and stabs at you vina
well now why would you do that
uh is that a crit miss on me no it's just a miss oh just a regular miss oh see
mark me down a villain point please
okay that's a crit miss however oh no like to see it you love to see it would you like to uh
would you like to take your uh your your attack yes indeed uh i'm gonna make the melee
attack to do this in the campaign have i know uh i'll make the melee attack with the dagger pistols
i believe i can do that yeah uh because yeah they are melee weapons yeah yeah absolutely
all right so for for reference chat whenever um whenever something critically uh fails a strike
against vina vina vina can attack back or attempt to disarm it but in this case they are kind of just
yeah i can't take his arms off but you can hit with a 30 heck yeah indeed
that's 11 points of damage oh very nice yeah it will take that um now this is really funny because
we're now in the uh your trap card uh my trap card now i will pull a trap card you got
ow why did it make that sound i don't know was that in the game taco bell gong moment anyways
yeah there's uh there is my my trap card so as you strike it um it its body explodes into razor sharp
shrapnel in a five foot emanation hitting both you and rahua so i require you both
through and vina to click on that basic reflex save button no yes oh but i come on
but i am okay because i'm not engaging him uh uh as far as the trigger complications we we do not do
uh complications for minor uh unnamed creatures does that mean i can use a hero point on it
uh no no no no no you you however are being dunked on here so there's a couple of things that are
going to happen and let's get to them right away first of all uh you will take double this damage
so you're going to take eight eight piercing damage as you strike at this thing uh with with your riposte
but as you do so uh and scissor in with the the dagger pistol it causes ice shards to fly off of it
striking you in the eyes and in fact striking rahua uh along the side to doing very like minimal
damage to to rahua um so secure half damage to rahua but the worst part about this um is that
the the ice into your eyes vina causes you to become blinded ah yeah i look to rahua with like ice
shards in my eyes like blood all down my face like wasn't that the coolest shit you've ever seen
i mean it was pretty cool to see but i don't know if you can no definitely not oh that's a horrific
piece of art i can't wait to see um and then since you rolled a natural one oh sick we've got a
complication oh boy hey it's uh everything going okay over there vina or it's like kind of looking
over the bush thumbs up you're just like missing tooth bleeding in the face just another
fucking tuesday for vina last name
her name is vina and her last name is the silk squash buckler true you keep calling us that every
time we start the game the skill squash buckler the squirrel squirrel squaster
is she better clear just squelch foot buckler she'll be squelched if she keeps getting hit like
this so let's get on with it i wish i was a squash through it you will not be a squash buckler you
will never have this squash squash buckler oh subclass new class i'm gonna use a nice a nice one here
from errant thank you errant um just uh just to add insult to injury it's a nice it's a nice simple
one uh uh face plant you trip over your own feet as i'm not surprised when you're like it wasn't it's
so cool staring bleeding uh then you you trip and fall down i think i'm getting negative panache for
this yes what's the opposite of panache yeah enemies can flourish what you're getting yeah um and that uh
will be the end of uh well actually that was a reaction that was all triggered off of the first
action this the second action this thing took after moving so it's now gonna take its third and final
action on you you're fucking welcome yeah i'm just gonna uh attack you again oh there we go that'll
hit that's that's nice an 18 for a 30 these are 16 points of damage with some persistent cold
vena so at this point vena went from like epically moving into on the ground blinded and like frostbite
creeping over your entire body that's that's vena's life baby yeah i'll take a moment for us to reflect
on this all right yeah for the past two weeks oh no you have been having the most miserable time
you've been rolling ones getting your ass whooped and like you're coming like i'm gonna play the game
nope
are we reenacting full of fantasy 10 is that no we're not doing anything of the sort
it's the universe punishing me for my hubris because i picked a character class where it's just like yeah
your mechanics involve around you being cool and doing cool to demoralize your enemies uh
but vena however can't stop stepping on rakes so your airship they're too close to the sun
i know baldrick you're up hi first i'd like to do a recall knowledge on this thing to see if i can
learn anything about it uh sure this would likely be a nature check oh i don't have that okay
okay never mind i'll just throw a firebomb at it it's one of those things this is definitely like
a nature uh could be you could use arcana if you had it i suppose that would be i have that even less
oh okay well i have that less than nothing in any event i'm gonna just i'm gonna use one of my
many weapons and i'm going to draw and throw an alchemist fire directly at this guy okay okay
okay okay yep the one right in front of you yeah uh-huh do it up draw
strike i'm gonna throw a firebomb directly at him yep with a
with a hit with a 33 in total 17 on the die that will hit all right now let's see if this
is like magical ice and is going to be bullshitting like no we do not deal fire damage to ice we already
know we do every damage yeah yeah it's gonna be low because i rolled an eight uh well i have good
news for you so that will trigger so on the immediate one that one will take one sec here
that one will take regular damage plus five triggering its weakness uh and the persistent
damage then the other one will take four points of splash damage however will also trigger the weakness
so it will actually take nine points that i don't know why it did 14 there that is weird that's okay
numbers are hard for the machine uh sometimes it gets a bit weird but yeah it takes nine points so
yeah the machine spin it there we go okay now that that has transpired i'm going to move away okay
20 feet to there and then you have one did i have to roll that that friggin uh two hit thing
oh the concealed condition yeah you would have um technically vena would have too but me oh oh damn it
oh i do the damage i guess do i have a hero point yes yeah you do you do yeah i'm gonna
i'm gonna hero point that i'll retroactively let you do that because it makes sense go ahead
not make private you fuck i want to re-roll this no you roll private it's actually not letting me
re-roll it for something just roll another d20 yeah we played this game you're good so you're still
all good yeah i know you better not do that again no but yeah you're good you're good you're good all
right so that the attack actually works hooray i'm going to fall back to this position here 20 feet
away moving through the the hedges kind of edging into the other hedgerow there yep yep and now action
now that i have entered into this hedgerow and thus possibly obscured myself can i roll a stealth
uh yeah if you want to because i wish to i wish to exit site okay sure i'm going to still
yeah do it go arousing 26 okay uh let me see if that will be enough to actually that will be enough
to uh to be hidden from them so they do not seem to notice you after you escape the the the ice monster
appears directly in front of me i react and then i smash it in the face with an explosive
and then i sprint into a hedgerow and disappear excellent you're not shake of our okay well the
burning one goes now and so the burning one is obviously confused but has this lovely prone blind
still it's blanking so uh please kick me while i'm down oh so begins the curb stomp uh first attack nope
zorn the bear
a villain boy jesus thurston because he's got two of them
i got two of them what did i do to you oh oh what's that thurston that's a that's a critical hit
thank you guys i'll see you all in therapy uh let me roll the critical damage
layer off chat get on the keyboard player off
that's not a keyboard that's a banjo well it's doing okay uh okay so that um that has occurred
so that was attack number one i will now do attack number two oh oh thank you thank you thank you
you're welcome oh please sir may i have another oh please please i love it i love i love to be
that one's going to miss you like to villain point that one thurston
oh speaker no actually i want to hold on to that villain it's important for reasons
oh great waste them waste them so what i'll do is i'll i can't have it five foot step through the
hedges so i'd have to move uh but blind downed vena can't take aops on me so move to there okay
through the hedges towards you tan hauser uh ending its turn at the end of its turn it's
going to take the persistent fire damage which will trigger its weakness so it will take another
seven points of john dimaggio let's see if it gets it yeah that that fire bomb from bodrick
was super useful oh oh it's automatically factoring it in that's why normally it doesn't do that so okay
i have a target where it'll do all the stuff for you but yeah cool cool cool cool all right so it takes
that damage yay um and then i rolled my recovery check see if the fire goes out oh no and it does
not so it's still on fire it's still taking that persistent damage uh all right that brings us over
to chan hauser chad all righty then well i'm currently listening on spotify to this fire by kill
switch engage which means that i need to cast something that does fire damage so tan hauser
seeing that he is swiftly becoming surrounded by ice born freaks is going to channel the power
of a singularity engine he is going to fly 15 feet straight in the air and i'm going to cast blazing
dive i will put myself here and everyone within 10 feet which is all three of these monstrosities and
unfortunately also volley must make a dc 25 reflux wait a minute wait wait no no this is okay this is
what we have to do we gotta kill team as he lands on the ground superheated air
shering out in a shockwave that impacts with his hated foes and also volley yeah okay okay blind
prone vena please give me this reflex good thing you said you hit volley not vena yeah exactly well
i i i hit vena's mom volley as well yeah yeah well i got a critical success yay
as i had anticipated
concerns i have them all right let's let me start starting with the bottom one that's on fire
yeah oh my fucking with the one immediately adjacent to tan hauser so for podcast listeners
the first one was close y'all it was it was on that little threshold that one will succeed so crit
success a success and the one uh by gorgamonger oh my god there we go i'll take it i gotta go home
right now immediately okay these are damage you and sip it man
so um this one will do half here so i will put that that should break it weak to fire cool and then
the other one will take half as well recall knowledge to see how much we're actually doing
i mean you're you're they're they're looking pretty hurt like you're you're guessing that this one
especially is pretty beat up the one that's on fire so yeah i'm pretty good and um all right
point point of order um yeah sorry dm um i don't think you quite calculated this correctly but because
i have stone skin on um yes i i believe i should have five extra hit points
and reduce the incoming damage um well let's see what did you take damage from pre you got hit right
yeah yeah it was the bludgeoning at ice yeah yeah so you would yeah you're right you're right
now you're good you're good all right that's my turn i'm ready for all my triumphs to uh speaker
over here quibbling over five hit points while vena is dying yeah well that's not my problem
clearly not yeah come on wow i got i got a dumb question actually never mind you uh you you it did
calculate that correctly get wrecked it auto calculated if you ought to apply it to your
dude i am do it i can't believe this is uh this is biased this is unfair it's outrageous uh your turn
uh well it's uh when you end your turn click the end turn button i'll do that now take your persistent
cold damage and now see if you recover from it okay what am i rolling to recover from it i just the
click the roll recovery check button okie dokie yeah no you're still you still got a little fast
bite on your arm still pretty cool very cold oran you're up awesome uh oran oran's kind of seeing
rahua who's right by uh vena and kind of like okay i think rahua is going to be able to help help her out
he's the closest so i'm going to try to take down one of these bozos and so oran uh will command
gorgamunger so corgamunger gets two actions because he's uh animal companion being like
fuck him up also protect me and so uh and with that for my two actions i am going to target the one
uh i know we could focus damage but i'm confident you guys got the other ones um because you guys also
have fire damage i'm going to yeah we're gonna spread damage make this worse for us uh i'm going to
produce flame the one right in front of gorgamunger here with produce flame hairdo the rare time i get
to do damage oran will fire turkey it's a plus 16 on my roll rolled an 18 with a critical hit for a 34.
sir please roll me the concealment check all right let's go ahead and do
rolled a five i made it you succeed yes that'll be a critical hit awesome let me go ahead and
roll the damage it's not gonna be a crit thing it'll just be this much damage doubled 15 to 30
plus its weakness yep takes 35 points of fur damage boom it also takes persistent fire damage
which i will apply for you i can't unfortunately yeah you drag it on uh you can scroll up see my
spell thing just drag it on oh no no i see but but because your uh your persistent is now a crit what
is that 5d4 oh sorry i have to hear that again okay i can't click the great button for you no no no
no it's it's it's it's uh i've got it here it's just it doesn't do that quite correctly so actually
i'm gonna have to one sec one sec he's rolling d4 i got this persistent damage gonna just put this
here give me one sec i got it how's your guys doing everything good because you do 4d4 fire on
it now yeah i got it i got it it's on fire it's like real bad fire now all right and gorgamonger
for his first action he's going to uh fly over the guy getting in between um yeah basically getting
between oran and him and also trying to get into the side for veena uh gorgamonger will then target
the one i just fired upon and he is going to strike at it yeah but there's just kind of bite into it he
wants to march unfortunately i missed but i'm going to spend a hero i'm going to spend here only
he spent a hero quest upon that room where can we keep calling him hero quest uh that won't be a hit
but he is obscured i'm going to roll the d20 to see if that goes i rolled another file which makes it
i'm going to roll the damage it was not a crit that is 2d6 2 on both of them that okay that's correct uh
15 points of damage to that ice creature cool i really i love the idea of this because it just means
that gorgamonger bit him very lightly because it's like uh ice cold uh where ice my teeth are
sensitive uh make a basic reflex save as he shatters off icicles from this thing oh hell yeah sorry i
ended my turn prematurely my bad uh i will now click uh the reflex button for gorgamonger
mm-hmm there's a plus 21 for him that's a 10 and a die for a total of 31 you're good so he will only
take half of this hell yeah sorry i should have clicked your thing in the uh thing there uh you
failed to apply the seven damage to gorgamonger he goes well and that's the end of oran's turn and
gorgamonger's well then i've got this guy right here who uh is on fire and will uh maneuver to here
well hello oran as this mystery creature you set this thing on fire and then
i'm fucking you keep going man i'm attacking you
i'm hitting you that 27 does go past my armor class uh whatever the
fuck it was uh 25. terrible damage but it's still gonna hit you or it takes the 11 damage
gonna hit you again it's right i hate you again 27 again
as as orange get his ass whooped he's like trying to like pat him away going come on dude chill out
he's like flapping his little hands in the eyes that that'll be the end so i will take a total of 12
uh damage plus five so 17 damage just from persistent here um and then i will roll a recovery check
which i will fail good this is where persistent damage is king uh this however brings us back to
rahua you're up okay please eat the ice cubes he can because he doesn't he won't feel it his teeth
don't have nerve endings his teeth are made of wood like george washington it's true george washington
did have wooden teeth it was also a seven and a half foot tall tree amalgamation yeah uh unfortunately
volley is is neither a president nor george washington so rahua cannot help her so rahua is going to
smack the ice amalgam in front of him with his funny pic yes with his funny pic with his funny pic
i don't i'm going to attack him again yeah i have a question you wanted to hit him right yeah uh if you
go to the bottom right of him and not and not heal vena or anything uh you would be flanking which
would give you a plus to hit if you wanted oh my god that's so fucking smart if you want to ask thurston
if you want to redo you could also does does gargamunker have reach uh i we i checked up on that rolling
uh animal companions who are large do not get reach uh so we were wrong so we checked okay
thurston would you hear me and let me move so that i am now flanking this creature oh wait i have
to roll the concealment check first yeah roll the concealment check we'll see if it matters
this isn't a fun game
anytime that i act or is it just for the turn uh it's anytime you target him so each attack would
have okay okay that's fine you will now miss him forever yeah okay well oh and oran is not affected
by it by the way because of his yeah i can see right through yeah i forgot that too i just realized
it as well yeah that's great that is so helpful for rahua to know do would you like to spend your
hero points to re-roll the concealment so that your other attack could hit
shoot wait it's only a five or higher i know but i won't get it it's only a five or higher yeah
it's only a foot it's only a foot that
one foot i feel i don't i don't think i should use the hero point for this
i just why his decision i don't think it's a third action gonna be doug well i'm gonna
fucking try to attack him again at nat minus five but i'm gonna make another concealment
give me that concealment check dog let's hope it's not oh yeah i saw it almost almost was a two so
let's try attacking now now can the attack roll hit of course don't watch you're gonna see some real
shit right here hit him in the head no it's not it's another nine god damn it
thanks i rage and i charge thanks for playing hockey yeah it's very good it's pikachu god damn it
well i've got this guy here he's uh confronted with a tanhouser so he's gonna try to eliminate
the tanhouser oh no not the tanhouser i'm striking the tanhouser and i will miss
yes yay yay he'll strike the tanhouser again oh we should have said shit that's less cool
excellent uh let's just damn do that the thurston is building on these enemies is insane they just
keep rolling 20s i know it's just because he's better at this game than us thurston got one crit
miss and decided to turn on liquid skill uh it's then gonna move to there okay okay so it's gonna
take an a-op that's fine uh can i a-op spell strike uh no remember we've talked about this last
time it's just a melee check we've talked about this tanhouser excuse me we talked about this per
my last memo you're not allowed to a-op spell strike uh that is a 29 a 29 will hit i'll do my
damage roll the concealment as well oh yeah that son of a you gotta be kidding i'm i'm not allowed to
do six damage correct that's an excellent turn for me uh blind do they need to do they need to roll
concealment on us yeah thurston i audibly blink my eyes looks at this oh yeah of course he clicks snow
vision okay there we go all right vena you're up
okie dokie well uh let's let's let's see what we can do here i'm gonna yeah i'm gonna stand okay i
would like to stand to stand you're standing you're standing okay are there you're still blind
i'm sick uh you can't detect anything using vision sick okay uh well uh
do i roll to see if i get past that or uh i'll i'll tell you when it goes away if it goes away
if if all right well i'm gonna oh boy you can you can attack um it just is concealed because you
know it's general location so it's not like the blinded makes the general concealment much worse
you just suffer the other penalties so true bestie yeah uh however it'll explode and kill me but you
know that's not the worst thing that could have happened to me today i'm sure you'll find another
way to show that i have a very important question though because i think this is a prime what we call
a epic role play moment right is there something you want to do to get but not
not really sure thurston i'm just i'm curious are you like you know gonna gonna do like a
faint while you're blind or um could i possibly use an acrobatics to get to my feet you know do
like a kip up from the ground yeah i'd allow that yeah yeah yeah yeah sick we cannot allow vena's
25 that's still enough your your acrobatics is really strong so yeah yeah let's uh let's
pretty bad if the difficulty was dc 26 get up off the floor
it'd be bad for anybody who did not have a plus 19 to acrobatic yeah uh yeah and i'm just gonna stab
this dude i'm just gonna stab him with the dagger pistol and if he explodes and kills me concealment
yeah i can't imagine the horrendous noise a piercing weapon makes against ice
yeah well you will you will hit if you hit if i roll john uh roll roll your attack roll now if i
did it do you not have your rapier out or uh right now i just have the uh dagger pistols oh gotcha
okay okay uh because it's a frost rapier so i uh have put two and two together as to note note asterix
this this is like important game knowledge for you uh all that would mean is that like you do extra
cold damage it's like still the majority of your your damage would be you're not healing him for
frost yeah you're not healing him in this oh
oh well i guess vena wouldn't know that so i've i've dug myself into this hole uh and now i have
a lot of classic final fantasy vena believes that if you cast blizzara on the blizzard creature it does heal
so uh uh all right so yeah i'm gonna give it a give it a good stab with the dagger pistol here we go
here we go here we go stabbing stabbing stabbing i got him i assume that was a finisher correct indeed
it was yes all right it's going to be 20 points of damage 20 points of damage well you know what's going
to happen to happen now vena yeah explode explode i love the sound it makes i'm just gonna click it
every time just for that sound it's like the law and order like thousand bucks stamping on the floor
noise the the reflex name is usually not a big deal for me because if i succeed it's an auto crit success
i just have to succeed well rahua and divina give me give me those basic reflex saves please there
you go yeah yeah fuck you okay okay okay that 20 yeah of course that's what i get the 20.
there you go there we go i'm okay you're you're yeah you'll take half damage you'll take three points
of uh of uh piercing damage here oh a little chilly little chilly little spikies hit you uh so vena gets
up um with panache stabs and then what's your final move uh oh i have one more move um or one axion i
should say more action uh i'm gonna i'm gonna faint just uh get more panache make him flat-footed for my
good yeah roll me the deception i i shall i shall decepticon 32 okay can you also roll me a concealed
check because technically you have to target him i want to see if you if you like faint someone
who's not standing there i'm looking in the wrong direction yes
no okay you're very good excellent excellent i like that we're also getting these high dice rolls
out oh yeah i can't wait there we go that's that's actually the next level uh gm play everybody
just make your players roll dice and then you get all their their luck out early uh okay vena you will
take eight points of uh cold damage as as the critical cold hits itself into you um you critically
fail on the uh the recovery check which does not trigger a complication chat there's there's no
there's no like complications on that so keep that in mind uh all right that brings us over to this
little boy here uh vena you've uh you've made yourself a bit of a target in this circumstance
have i uh the blizzard boy is deciding it's going to uh to attack you oh my god new flavor of ice
cream it oh my god god again
these crit builds are out of control thurston you can't just pick up the die and put it on 20
that's cheating i didn't know thurston slid dice yeah i'm just like messaging foundry like
hey guys gotta go a little question for you you went to a fucking orion akaba ttrpg academy
something i'm mad about enough about video that was attack number one i got attack number two here
oh thank you thank you thank you thank you if he does it again okay it's just a regular hit
i think she's gonna die i have um that was a lot of damage i have an admission bit for you all okay
sorry side tangent or side thing uh there's these there's these bluetooth dice you can buy
so yeah there's these dice that uh have like a little bluetooth receiver in them and you can
connect them and like a little put them in a d20 casing and as you roll them whatever side they're
on they will connect basically like roll 20 or foundry and stuff and report what number it would be
and i bought one to test it because what i wanted to do was get i was gonna sit with thirsty like
thurston i just want one day where we're not gonna tell anyone and i'm gonna roll nothing but 20s
i'm we're not gonna say a goddamn word
nothing but 20s just as a joke and unfortunately it super flags it on found you of saying this is
exactly what is rolling this dies and we can't be anonymous i'm like fuck
well i've left vena with some persistent damage in one hit point so for its last action
thanks the blizzard the blizzard mon will uh shift away over to rahua
uh baldrick you're up uh terrific hey thurston just at a glance which of these looks the least wounded
because i'm not going for him at a glance the one far to the north that ran away from tanhauser
and then probably around the same would be this one the other two are looking pretty messed up and
shattered and broken in a lot of different places okay so first and foremost i'm going to target
that guy up there uh to the north far north 40 feet i can still hit him oh yeah and i am going to
again draw and throw another alchemist fire this will be my this will be my default strike okay
because i want to just make sure this works apparently it's giving me a range penalty but
that's fine i don't care it will because i think your your throw is 20 feet so that's why damn it
i'm not a baseball man i'm not not the baseball star that you didn't take far lobbing no i'm not the
i'm not the baseball star that is the scab bomber from dark tide
that is true uh that's a nat 20. yeah yeah now you can you roll me the concealment roll real quick
oh god no good call no sorry
can i super critical him baldrick baldrick fucking nails it in fact this is where erndel
has turned on the bluetooth uh thing yeah there you go game um please please roll critical john
dimaggio now now here comes the funny part because i can roll absolute minimum damage for this oh
absolutely you could but i kind of do kind of do no no no that's it's it's uh it's like 40 and stuff
yeah so yeah that's a lot of that's a 20 in total plus the splash plus the what and by the way i'm
i'm considering it includes the splash in the in the top thing but no i mean i'm counting the skeleton
as friendly please don't hurt him oh yeah of course of course of course like don't do that
that will
yeah that will uh that will do a bunch of a bunch of damage there heck yeah i didn't note by the way
i didn't this really wasn't necessary because i went stealth but i was gonna be like hey can i
can i get a bonus it doesn't matter it doesn't matter yeah you you you you got it you got it that
was your first action okay i'm gonna target the other one that is nearby vena and i'm going to try
to blow it up with fire this one yeah this one here yeah yeah i'm gonna at least get it out of
the way so no one else tries to hit him cause i don't know not normal i need to roll too for you
pardon me that's a 12. that'll hit give me a map minus five roll it uh 21's a miss
and even with the concealment that would just be a might that would just be an extra two for you
being hidden so it wouldn't still be enough okay so it missed but it will still take the splash it'll
still take the splash which will trigger the weakness so that's and it's already persistently
on fire so you don't need to worry too much about that but yeah so if you will click damage um and it'll
just give me the like regardless of what you roll yeah yeah it wouldn't have been that impressive
anyway and then i click on splash here and yeah he takes nine points because of his weakness but he's
still up oh yeah uh how is is vena down down or is vena just like vena is at one hit point oh my god yes
yes
i ain't got shit okay uh i deserve for well or well you probably would hurt our god vena and
you seem like he's gonna head over there so i will however also state this one does go next
yeah it all depends how evil thurston wants to be well no i know exactly how evil is going to be so
i'm going to i'm going to against my better judgment yes i'm going to take the map minus 10
oh do it up
it will hit it will at least get the opportunity to hit yes
ideally if it's really really bad the splash will be enough to kill it and if not
suffering podcast uh uh erindale rolled a 19 on his concealment yes so you can see i am not
the webster's definition of evil wow people wow you have you have thurston i've gone to bat for you
many times and i've regretted it approximately 60 percent of the time
roll roll the attack roll i will i'm going quickly looking for something because i want to make sure
16 because it's it's the splash plus my i want to know i want to make sure because it's my it's the
splash plus my int bonus right uh which one because that's your that's that's my feet remember the uh
improved splash or whatever it was uh flash calculated splash when you throw a bomb you cause
the bomb to deal splash damage equal to okay yeah so it would just be plus four then that's fine yeah
cool cool just wanted to verify that it's nice even if you miss oh yeah
i'll commit well let's see if you are the best character critical miss ah so vena's going to die
no no no no no no no no no because it's only a five foot area and you targeted it so basically what
would happen in that case is that you do nothing in this area so just nothing uh basically what
happened is i'm going to re-roll that using a hero point oh excellent do it do it i'm gonna leave
it up to fate i'll probably roll worse um i still critical miss still critical miss but um actually
no because it was no actually would be aware of you because you already threw one at it so yeah
um but that being said um it doesn't affect vena because it's only a five foot yes but now she will
go down and i wasted a bomb uh no no no no no no no no uh now your turn is over so plaz end your turn
i'm trying to it's taking a moment okay uh then i'm going to have this thing come towards you because
you just hit it with fire terrific come over here fight me it it it is it's coming it's right beside
you it's going to attack you it's attacking you i'm clicking the thing that's going to have it
attack you right now it's attacking you baldrick it's happening it hits you baldrick terrific
35 for 35 to hit and then it's going to hit you for 19 damage ouch and you're going to take some
persistent cold whoops oh vena's going to take all that no vena's going to die yeah vena dies
vena dies anyways just ignore that hey chet come up with a delicious flavor of ice cream starring vena
yeah oh i don't know if we were all ice creams what ice creams would you be chet
i think it would be wood flavor i think he would be engine guacamole
engine guacamole what is the difference between regular guacamole and engine guacamole thank you so
much for asking now i'm attacking a second attack whatever this conversation is um
attack attack number two claw minus five that'll hit that'll that'll take several but 14 yeah
then uh sweet sweet john demagia with claws uh 18 okay okay not bad not bad not bad a little bit
more a little bit more uh and that's the end of that things go uh that brings us to 10 oh oh but
i'm on fire uh so i will take another seven points of damage and i will roll my recovery
and i'm still on fire what the fuck this thing sucks at not this ice sucks at not being on fire
i know uh tanhauser you're up i don't underestimate these long gnomes these are the most powerful uh i've
seen so far long gnomes what everybody seems like they've got their favorite ice person i need my own
favorite ice your dance partners so i'm gonna rock on up yeah to my new best friend over here bestie
uh i'm going to take out my escoria turge and channeling flame tanhauser will let loose
with a deadly spell strike uh concealment that's a great fucking point i didn't even thank you
really consider such a possibility i am you're good that'll that'll yeah it's only a dc5 now you just
gotta hit him normally
haha hero point hero point with the 22 that misses
oh well good thing i did let's roll my crit damage there let's go tanny let's go
okay grand now we're going to get our produce flame critical damage um
uh yeah just damages oh keep forgetting that's the sound effect so that's going to be 24
um flame damage uh as well as persistent flame which he already has so i don't know if it just
uh well so what happens in this case is currently it has four persistent fire damage but because of
the persistent fire damage on um on what you have it will now get um 4 d4 fire damage yeah so you
increased it yeah i'd buy that for a dollar as you should and so now it has 44 fire damage which is
insanely good on these things the humble produce flame cantrip yell so useful i'm the fact i end my
turn oh rant oh wait no you gotta also roll i'm cold for your cold whoa i'm not cold anymore
you're not cold anymore yay take the little yeah yeah take your take your four he produced flame
and he heated up also i assume you flew down so i'll put you back on ground level oh yeah i mean i
oh yeah i didn't mention with blazing dive i fly up drops right away yeah and then i smash down it's
just it's just like a smash bro it's a superman move yeah and you're up heck yeah oran is going to
side all over uh basically uh one action he's going to command gorgomong uh wait he's going to
i forgot one thing what's that sorry i have to interrupt ah that's it guys tanhouser oh my
yay a reflex save i'll give you a skibbity reflex save
uh 22. that will fail f so you will take nine points of piercing damage as icicles hit you but
you are also blinded double things this frost now we can get back to oran awesome oran's gonna go
don't worry vita i got you uh oran will uh command gorgomonger to basically be like
fuck it up basically point to him the so he could bite it two times on his on his turn uh oran uh
that's one action for his second action he is going to uh go through gorgomonger and head over to
veena here and as for his final action he's going to basically battlefield medicine veena sweet sweet do
it up uh so basically i want to try and crit this so please forgive me if i fail
because i don't think i have any hero points so and if i fail you die yes here we go plus 20.
that's a 16 36. they're sitting near the game master you set the dc for this normally it's 15 but in the
the situation uh yeah i think you're you're you're gonna be you're gonna get it crazy hell yeah um so
that's gonna be a whole bunch of stuff to forgive me like i have like the healing gloves and all that
so i gotta i should have determined this beforehand i apologize uh my healing my uh healer's gloves will
give me plus one uh basically four 48 basically plus 10 i believe so 48 plus 10 do it the healing
one two three four
plus 10 i'm typing it apologize that should do it total of 32 to veena 32 to veena that's excellent
also just a reminder now veena is immune to it for the next day
all right uh oran you want to have you have gorgamonger go yes i should have a thing that allows
me to do it uh off more often uh for my uh because my free archetype thing i get to also have for the
things i'll double check that later but regardless we should be good gorgamonger's gonna look at that
ice creature and bite it two times we're gonna start off we're gonna go off with a jaw attack
boom critical hit with a 34. roll the critical damage pour roll on it with a uh but total of 30.
hold up don't kill it yet gorgamonger has to roll concealment
uh that's right uh that is a two but i'm going to hero point it okay
that is a seven so that goes through did you get a hero point uh i have i oh i didn't oh
shit oh no you cheated kill him oh no i did she already cheated put him in the ball crusher
it's okay it's okay we're gonna attack again so we're gonna see what happens here
i cheated in my favor inflation i'm just so used to having one i'm just gonna roll it to see what the
uh yeah oh yeah you'll have to give me concealment yeah yeah yeah oh there you go 20 yeah there you go
use those 20s and then it'll do its damage which will be 21 damage waiting you
yeah unfortunately it messed up it's alive but barely oh yeah i'm very confident on uh
on how much damage has left to where the fire should take it out on date of its turn
so gorgamonger did its best those two actions for that that's the end of oran's turn
oh i need a recovery check for ice i apologize we're gonna do that i wrote a 15 and oran is no longer cold
he takes four damage
i appreciate that uh someone in chat just said gm please twist his scrotum to the right
which required someone to add the permitted term scrotum to your chat specifically easy yes
very good all right well i've got this little boy here who's on fire probably gonna die it's not looking
good
he's gonna attack v no no i'm gonna attack rahua oh thank god he's going to get that nuclear winter
ranking bonus
for who is not a pine tree he can't survive the cold he's deciduous no
no no he sucks at hitting crit fame i i roll a natural one also apparently i targeted baldrick but
it doesn't matter uh second attack oh i miss my hubris my one and my two that i rolled um and then
this one will take 10 points of fire damage and
the dies
what's your wilds melts under the the produced flame of oran
it comes to you oran kind of fist bumps to himself a little bit going yes first blood
wow didn't know we're keeping score it's my boy
all right well thank you oran for doing your healing thing on veena i was going to do that on
my turn as well but now i don't have to now i can just attack so i'm going to roll a concealment
to attempt to hit him again and hopefully not bungle it i can see it let us just begin
as soon as i can hit him with the fucking action that's striking you can do it i did it i hit him
you hit him what's the number 29 for seven damage piercing you sounded really scared there
i was a little bit scared because this should be scared
i'm not worried please it just sounds like the start of the law and order ball
it really is so good it's just ever so often we should just replace it with a i am going to
hero point that okay okay okay okay okay let me here you roll that well here
a little request oh that's success okay half damage here that's that's good take off take it's
fine it's fine it's your first action rilla what that was his first action and now i'm gonna anarchic
barrage because that's all i can do okay you gotta roll concealment
that 20 i see you forever i love you using your 20s on this concealment yeah isn't it great it's great
it's so good because then i fucking miss god damn it you actually just horribly because that would
also get a multiple attack penalty too so okay get dunked on rua i hate the elements return the world to
nothing i too hate the olive garden um
yeah
yeah
olive garden
you heard it here
soozor in the bear into the dirt
damn our olive garden sponsorship i really like bottomless breadsticks and if you want to sponsor us
with bottomless breadsticks he hates him he's lying he's lying
gm.com i'd really like unlimited breadsticks all right i'm going to attack down now
hold on yep are you allowed to do that it might endanger your olive garden sponsorship i am the
only italian hit any of us it would be what do you mean you're the only
italian i forget you're also never mind speaker d italian erasure moment you're you're where in
italy is your family from uh i think we're southern italy okay i'm from northern italy so it's canon that
i would say that it's true there's incredibly racist against other italians yeah the regional
i'm inheriting whatever just kidding we're both these coasters we ride or die exactly you ride or die
we're walking here make sure you're walking oh so what's this guy he goes up to 10 hours
during your missus is that the case just because i really hate the way this conversation is turned
mark me down a villain speaker look what you've done you've summoned polly walnuts oh god
nice hit that's all right the blizzard born saw the the image of the virgin mary inside his house
and he was like i gotta kill tannhauser yeah
second attack excellent good good this is what we need
okay good third attack the anti-italian discrimination that one misses the network
you critically miss but you're not veena and you have oh wait wait wait wait and then i die from
the persistent damage oh stay winning as he melts continuing to strike at tannhauser like a sad snowman
bashing at you until there's nothing left and it falls on you in a slushy pile uh
speaking of slushy piles avena you're up that's what they call me the slushy pile can we defeat general
winter
okay we try to break in a cold miser's mansion uh i hate all of this um yes so i'm gonna move
i'm gonna move i'm gonna move i'm gonna move and flank with my good friend baldrick hello i'm
flanking with you we're flanking together i need every bonus to hit i can right now
i worry you just i think you just need to do like three damage yeah uh i'm going to stab this guy
with my knife knife knife knife knife thing i'm connecting oh okay i crit that one the one that
i didn't actually need to crit god crit all right fuck you it's 40 damage
you know this is how swashbucklers are theoretically supposed to work
it's true credit credit let it crit you know you you've incurred such a karmic debt your role
should be crits for the rest of like the season astonishingly large numbers of crits in this episode
alone they've rolled so many 20s it's still up just just the barest of of being up i got one more
attack so we'll see uh all right that's it i've got that dog in me it's only a map minus far
it does hit somehow a little damage
i'm so strong die yay
but you know it did take you it did however vena take you two attacks to do that that is very true
that is very true no
it's such a good sound effect uh bulgic and vena give me uh give me some basic
oh wait i got him off your back and this is how you repay me i i hate to be this guy but i did
forget to roll conceal then i have to be fair no you didn't have to yeah that's fair
uh thurston can we say i have to retain my honor thurston can we say because he was on fire he was
very visible
i mean but vena's actually blind so that's the
yes blind as a bat vena
actually happened it sure did yeah the other one actually happened now you can click on those uh
reflexes well no no because now she needs to do it again oh she doesn't uh vena's fine baldrick
no no no she doesn't have to hit for the second one what no oh actually she would have to do for
the second one that's right yeah but but the first one would have hit so this effect happens
regardless this is true this is true oh my god in the second one we'll miss thank you he's he's
taking persistent damage you do have a hero point i you know i i'll use the hero point i love concealment
it's so good i'll conceal you yeah
okay okay we're good we're good we have returned to equilibrium
okay now that we have gotten every single other roll out of the way
i'll give you a reflex save oh how's how's a 19 it is a fail all right thanks epic fail
so you'll take eight points of damage ouch and you will be blinded
thank you all right now the blizzard boy over oh and uh vena is cold it takes 12 points of cold
damage and uh give me a recovery roll vena you're supposed to be blue
oh yay so good you're supposed to be blue you're supposed to be resistant to cold why are you taking
double damage all right thurston has officially removed the uh the the modifier that he had on
my character sheet that says cannot roll above a five he has replaced that with is a snow cone
you are a triangle i will get you with your little actually and your little rahua too because i've got
this last ice elemental creature that is coming to get me okay it's okay okay fine
well damn i didn't mean actually yeah we're revving up with that and there's some 20 and then we're
gonna we're gonna we're gonna rev up round two he's throwing punches oh that's the second he's
hitting you a lot that's uh it's gonna be uh 17 more freezing him chill chill chill
what the fuck oh my god it wasn't i would hit you would i hit you um
all right all right that's it that's it that's the end of this guy's little go baldrick you're up
blind baldrick uh blinded baldrick is going to shamble closer yes so i can actually hit him now
wait no i can't i have to shamble one more closer yeah you could shamble you knew these the area where
he was and you're assuming he is still there so you may uh i may i may roll you a concealment yes
you're good now you may throw a bomb all right is like annoyed because he can't like
wipe the frost away from his eyes that is now there so what he will do instead is angrily throw a bomb
in the hope that it will melt it i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna play unfortunately same team uh
just to clarify yeah uh for blinded so the baldrick is blinded right one of the bunch of other people
it says uh all normal training is difficult training to you you can't detect anything using vision
correct but you are still aware of a position of something from where it last was in any instance
where this has happened the person has remained aware so you're you're still like you know where
they are in relation to you if it was like they moved after then you're kind of screwed okay all right
sorry keep going no you're good yep you will hit roll damage yo yep rolling that fireball or a stunning 14
plus four that's not bad okay that's gonna set it on fire uh you got another action um however however
however rule will take splash damage oh yeah that's right because i can't shape charge him yeah because
you cannot nominate so rahua catches a little bit of fire that's all right he's assuming he's missing
rahua the sound of crackling burning wood must be something else damn okay i'll roll another one uh
uh that'll be another one another exact same hit 25 or 26 15 give me concealment on that one as well
yep you got it sorry i hit the wrong yeah no no you're good you're good
oh nice that'll be a natural so many 20s on these concealment rolls sorry that'll be another 14 and
four so he's burning again and now cindra who is some more well yes and then i will cindra who uh you
must toast him until he is burnt fucker
okay perfect all right let me roll my recovery i'm still cold you are still cold i will roll that
the the the icicle monster is still alive uh blind tan hauser blind hauser blind hauser lives all right
blouser now that my foe is destroyed i will lift my mighty escurrioturge i will move over here
and i'm going to make everything is difficult terrain so just yes you're double moving yes
i'm going to go ahead and make a nature check okay
and i do a really bad job chopping up these hedges because i cannot see this ice creature all the way
across the field and as a result do not feel like tan hauser would be able to participate so as you uh
commit shrub aside we shall move to oran good idea but also roll me a recovery check for your gold yay
that i will succeed because i will count your your shrubbery-ing is you trying to remove the cold
damage which seemed like a good use of your time as opposed to just trimming trees while i frostbite
i think the trimming trees it's never a bad idea it's soothing it's soothing oran oran please help me
gorgamonger attack first action command animal so gorgamonger has two actions for the remainder of
oran's uh two actions uh he is in range and can see the guy just fine he's going to cast produce flame
produce flame ah right at the right the ice creature the rahua is dealing with that is a two
it's going to horribly miss that's all that oran can do right there but gorgamonger for first action
will whoosh uh i'm going to be that's odd that it does it that way it says fly things like a lot
yeah i think it just defaults to normal speed for that so yeah oh yeah because this fly is like 60 so
we're gonna go yeah make him fly this way so he's just flying over this side to flank this creature
and gorgamonger is going to give a big old bite to that creature flanking with rahua that's a critical
hit oh uh concealment oh yeah that's right oh yeah roll that's a four
so my entire turn was nullified this is the second time you have crit with that dragon unless i stall for a
bunch and chat is super generous how are you doing today thurston it's still my turn it's still my
turn uh and everything you know i'm still debating it's your turn until you hit the button yeah yeah
it's still it's still that how's it going thurston how's your day how's how's everything oh i'm sorry
the buttons seem to move we can't mug the chat this much we'll get in trouble yeah
put chat in an alley i need them don't be holding out on me
i like this at that exact moment someone gave me more points excellent how wonderful
i'm so happy to hear that through europe uh first i would like to i would like to strangle this
creature okay as one does a lot of people are giving me stuff they really are dumping oh my god
why chat hates us they hate it i would either way all right so do you want to strangle him with
your pick no i want to actually strangle this creature oh okay that would be an athletics check
okay we'll try the athletics check we're gonna try something different okay
it's a 20 it's um it's uh compared to its fortitude dc so that that is not enough that that sadly is
it's it's really hard to to get your arms in a position to no it's not working out for you it's
kind of slippery because it's ice and it's also on fire that's not helping things that's great concealment
check that'll that'll work oh yes i've learned that i should not deviate from the norm
and i miss it oh i hit okay you hit you hit good job good job that's sadly piddly
shit-ass damage eight
wow that's great that's uh you got one action left sure do concealment you see it see it see it
he's still there he's still there that's so great you're all damaged you're good you hit it
14 damage it's uh it's still kind of up
hey can you take ice pickers damage because he's getting hit by a pig oh yeah it's true it's got a
can he take ice road truckers damage because i'm hitting him with a truck no but i'll give
rahua click that recovery i'll give i'll give rahua chill blains
i recover i'm good the tree is no longer cold very good very good vena die oh no hang on i just took a
bunch of fire damage oh that's actually for all the corpses that's the persistent damage on all of
the corpses because everything here has persistent fire wait why do they all have why do the corpses still
have fire on them they're made of they didn't turn it off they're on why is the water on fire thurston
imagination vena oh vena you're no longer blind oh sick i'm sorry there was like a high-pitched
wine outside my window what's happening out missiles missiles oh thank you hulky you fired the missiles at
me i did because i care all in a day's work all right uh i'm gonna move
here i have the movement yeah i'm very fast i know that's gorgamonger's space
yeah personal space
um that's my move uh then i'm going to uh or i'll go ahead and use my move to tumble
through actually okay yeah do it do it
just makes it aha uh so i would have had to move through his space so i'd be closer to like there
yeah uh you actually move in and move back
that's true uh well he's pretty being i'm right here then i can do i get the flank
uh no you have to have a straight line so oh a straight line no dice unfortunately there is no
the dragon is occupying just he's so sorry occupado
large there i suppose all right uh oh yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna hit him oh wait uh can you put
panache on me i suppose i can press the button to dragon ball you yay all right yeah it it goes
fuck you when i try to do it to myself i got him uh concealment pardon me what'd you roll well
i i rolled a 27 but uh an 11 on concealment that'll work that'll work okay roll uh roll that damage
now why did that i don't know why you rolled attack again but you hit either way roll damage
yes vena kill him slap his nuts there we go finally his nuts and with with that the the blade
comes down shattering through it not even giving it a chance to do another reaction on you which i'd
really you know thought about doing but was like that guess not because he killed it so as that happens
there is a distinct um crack in the air and with that the the fog in the space begins to dissipate
and all of the remaining bodies begin to eek out melting out of existence
wow guys that was more damage than i've done in the past like week and a half
let's take our break with that line all right we're gonna go ahead and take a break everybody
where we can answer uh patreons submitted questions along with people who uh donate
bits and a lot of other stuff our little q a section during our beer b b section so don't go
anywhere if you're watching live and uh enjoy if you're on the vod so be right back don't go away
we are back yay
so why couldn't the eagles just take the ring into morador huh
why couldn't we just be here for all the damage they were scared makes sense to me you know
yeah that comment makes me want to drink yeah
what do you want to go back in after getting our shit rock lie
the frost i would drink now but i have to get drunk tomorrow for the other character
it's also true that's a character it doesn't do anything it doesn't do anything i gotta get
sit here get drunk and serve cunt my brother
welcome back everybody uh the the the blizzard mentals have been defeated uh leaving the the
courtyard uh back to back to a slightly chilled air but generally speaking um you know intact how
you left it minus a couple hedges that have been destroyed by tanhauser um you are all kind of in
you know varying states of uh of existence at the moment i guess uh what would you like to do right
now are we all still blind uh no actually sorry the blindness would dissipate on the the two of you
immediately thereafter and i'm as funny as it would be i will not have you sit through persistent
damage baldrick so you are good thank you for not making me be cold hey tanhauser will take a look
at these hedges and say these bushes look like shit before wandering over to everybody else just kick
them he's like who decorates like this blitz was fucking stupid to begin with uh horrible uh kind of
trying to crowd everyone around going here let me help everyone with your ouches and he'll uh he'll
grab worms from the hedges and go eat these baldrick is gonna like do a beckoning finger at vena because
she's currently very far away oh i'm so far away here vena eat this you're like a big like thick
wriggling worm am i'm am i not immune to that after the battlefield medicine
no uh so battlefield medicine it's a cool thing with this stuff yeah battlefield medicine is a separate
thing with a separate cooldown just normally healing you like first aid stuff and everything is
separate so i don't have a funny excuse to not eat the worm yeah i'll eat the worm i was like awesome
don't want to do that do you want me to spend a large amount of time healing everyone thurston or do
we just want to go and continue on or uh well it's actually gonna matter a fair amount because some of
y'all have buffs on that's true yep that is true yeah so you have to let me know because if i start
doing this stuff you're gonna lose your buffs so unless you want to spend all of our health potions
that we have i could also use my cleric fun and i could what's the cast time and stuff on it i mean
it's a heal just at my highest level of my spell slot so very fast oh yeah here's your uh spare heals um
so um like in this case the biggest one that would would drop just so we're clear here is um
like you've got five hours on the the antidotes so you're you're generally gonna be okay with that i
would guess but um the stone skin only has 19 minutes left on it so yes um i mean if i'm gonna
lose stone skin then i will lose stone skin um better that we don't waste all of our health potions i think
probably yeah uh does does rahua have that uh healing thing where you like just kneel down and
everyone can touch your shoulder and go ah we're good i do vital b can still up however if we're
getting into commenting again because it's up for 24 hours now 23 uh i feel like it's probably better
to not waste it especially if we're not gonna long rest true yeah i i feel like um no one expected to
get as banged up by the front lawn as we did so i think uh just taking a little bit of time to heal up
before we enter in it's probably a good idea even if it costs me stone skin yeah yep we are no need to
rush so we can take a bit of time to patch up i would rather not take like an hour to heal because
that feels like a bad use of time but that depends on what we can actually do within that short
window of time like i would say yeah what like five minutes yeah at least take however long it
would take minutes is the is the time it takes to do like treating wounds out of combat so okay so
we could do 10 minutes then and that should be okay okay yeah and then i would still have
nine on stone skin so wait is it 10 total or is it 10 per person
thursday uh well for tree to wounds let's pull it up here and read real quick
i'm gonna use the new one because i can use the new one um but you spend 10 minutes treating one
injured target okay so it would have to take at least like like 40 minutes 50 minutes depending yeah
and this is this is kind of the balancing thing right like this is the yes you can heal yourselves to
full outside of combat but the time is how some of these spells like like stone skin and stuff are
balanced around so here's what i propose we take 10 to heal the most wounded of us you know and then
the rest of us neck potions just to be expedient that could work it's just i don't know if we want
to blow through all our consumables right now because i don't know if we'll need to do this again
before the uh end of this encounter i mean if it's on us because we didn't prepare right and we
are on a we do like we get we just came in here and started blasting so like i don't know if anyone's
particularly looking around thirst would i be able to check this place is very ice like this this
courtyard is very isolated you know that to the south like it connects into like a series of of
hallways and whatnot this was very off of the beaten path you still saw like occasional people but
right would i be able to converse with skeleton man or is he reduced to skeleton bones again after
conversing with us no he's he's sitting on the bench still because i want to ask i want to ask him a
couple questions before we go too far ahead that's all right yeah yeah yeah okay there we go thank you
yeah sorry uh this is my bed baldrick will walk up to the skeleton man and he's going to after like
wiping the frost from his eyes and digging some shards out of his shoulder or what have you so
is uh is the owner of the house expecting anyone else today
the the skeletal figure looks up at you and shakes their head
baldrick will just nod quietly back thanks you can you can continue to rest now
he's going to limp back over and relay to them all right so apparently there's no one else coming
today as far as he is aware he's going to motion to the skeleton so we may have a little bit of time
to prep before we go further in in case we're expecting any more hostility
yeah i think we should get patched up because uh we have reason to believe some of them assassins are
inside while we may be able to convince them to you know turn against their employer
i wouldn't bank on it if they're more of those tongueless guys i don't think we're going to be
doing any convincing mm-hmm do it and he's going to just kind of motion for everyone
let's uh let's tend to our most wounded yeah a wise idea all righty so so should we spend 20 or 30
minutes patching up the most wounded because i i could theoretically neck a potion if we want to just
do uh tanhauser and vena i i i don't think it matters i want okay so so so at the so well i was
going to say at this point there there are a couple of things to keep in mind one look at the people here
who can do do treatment um effectively that would very likely be um oran and rahua have have training
in medicine who does the other because we can only do 10 minutes for one person
so i can take care of vena to try to create the best you you also have baldrick who has medicine
as well uh do i i don't recall that i do you have a plus 13 and are an expert in it where is it oh so
it is yeah yeah okay so you can heal you have three of you who can do like some pretty strong healing
in that regard um now again like you can just do that um there is a feat by the way um that you can
get it's called ward medic that lets you do this like up to two targets per so and if you're a master
in medicine you can then do like four targets um so it's like there there is a couple the other one
that is really good in this regard um is uh continual recovery is like a very standard feat you'll see
a lot of medic people take and that um is the target becomes immune for only 10 minutes instead of one
hour so you can basically cycle through people really fast as opposed to uh treat wounds which does
have a cool down of an hour so you can't just like 20 minutes on the same person you'd have to do it
every hour on the person i think we're gonna stick with what we got for now because we can't just add
feeds so yeah no no absolutely i'm just i i'm i'm saying this so you all have some understanding
on like hey if you do want to specialize in this a bit more there are some options later on right good
to know if we can spend about 20 minutes i can use sunlight healing as well let's see another 10 minutes
to do it yeah we're wanting to do 10 minutes to people keep their buffs yeah so we'll just do 10
minutes and i'll medicine myself and one of you can take tanhouser and the other takes vena so i'll um
i'll handle i'll handle i'll handle vena uh because i know i can do my healing pretty well
if you want to take tanhouser balja can take care of himself and i have a decent enough hp left
regardless to keep myself okay um if things go wrong like i have gorgamonger if he'll hopefully
just block things the best i guess he can so i think rahua should drink a potion just to be on
the safe side i agree all right i'm gonna roll my medicine on myself that's a two it's for a 15
uh that was succeed that'll succeed that's a that's a that's a basic success on treating wounds
terrific how much does that do uh so in this case that is 2d8 good that is 2d8 healing yeah 2d8
that's not bad 13 that's not very to yourself but it's you know it's something there you go
awesome i'm now going to uh roll for vena because i am a i use natural medicine use my nature so plus 20
that is a natural 20 that's a nice uh that is for the table that is uh i forgot to check the table
during combat when i was helping out uh that is 2d8 plus 50 your max yeah holy shit damn okay that's
great comes up the vena going eat this worm you'll feel better is this wriggling oh my god it's the rare
it's the rare morphine worm of yeah how much sorry uh you did the dc 41 or yeah
so i'm sorry no i have to be extra for the thing i'm master level so that'll be 30 2d8 plus 30 so
it's uh 48 oh yeah yeah my bad yeah 48 plus 30 my bad this worm tastes like ibuprofen
i mean i read i read the table super fast did it wrong yeah so you want to roll that heel anyway just
to see how much she gets back yeah yeah let's see uh 48 plus 30
hold that up i have to type it there we go that's 43 okay uh so 73 nice i got you uh heel bang there you
go it's like cool all right i would need an extra 30 yes wait no never mind it's time for real practice
i did the plus 34 you're good it's time for malpractice i'm here we go all right let's find out
23 really sad it's not in that one that that is a that is a success um are you a uh you're you're
master you know you're expert in medicine no no i'm trained you're trained okay so cool that'll just be
um 2d8 then don't worry i am a doctor yeah
wow eight wow
all right so uh we're who and tanhauser should neck a potion
certainly yeah
i don't feel like you you can
um you can like you know take another tendon to heal up some of the the people who haven't been
like orin and
rahua could heal themselves but all of you are now temporarily immune to treat wounds for like the
next hour i i i gotta be real with you fam the second we step foot in that mansion uh i am
expecting 800 nerudos are gonna jump out of the walls and poison i i i i think we might want to
just have to bite the bullet and take a big old fucking nap or something whatever i'm suggesting we
drink the potions man we gotta yeah we got potions we we did buy a bunch of potions on the way here
well i still have heal i still have a max level heal yeah we don't want to spend resources and
a spell slot is a resource you're not getting back so um if we don't care about our buffs that much
let's just say okay orin and everybody else will just heal each other for yeah you take the two hours
and all of you like okay you're gonna lose your touch one another want those potions during combat
because if i'm down and rahua is not able to help that's your only savior exactly yeah i know i was
trying to be i was trying to be cognizant of our time that's what i'm worried about yeah we may just
have to bite that bullet uh and if they get prep time inside then i'm assuming they already live here
it's probably already a home alone man dying in two hours yeah they already know we're here so i'm not
not worried about him knowing i'm worrying about the old man he's slowly passing away of old age
well that's funny that's okay mike's the closet listen i just want to watch his old man aerobics
all right so just to make sure just to clarify um we're all basically just we're all taking a chill
pill we're just gonna heal ourselves up the full basically um sure thing sunlight healing
all right all right we'll put ourselves to full uh oran's all rested up and ready that's not the
thing where oh god never mind i'm not even gonna ask so i didn't i didn't want to roll that so what
am i doing how you can roll that to be honest let's just keep yourself full like assume you will give
yourself everybody oh the orange gonna go around in like 4d 10 plus like 30 all of you repeatedly yeah all
right so we just wait in this courtyard for two hours yeah there's some some patching up that
happens some general chill time and then yeah you are good to go i'm so glad i packed a lunch
what'd you get in your lunch mr tanhauser tanhauser opens up his lunch bag consisting of multiple pouches
of liquids oh what's that one he points that is congealed orange oh uh
why is it congealed that is pureed steak oh can i have a bite no but you can have a sip and i'll take
it out with a little tube at the end for him to for him to to eat he takes a sippy what a fortitude
save fighting i don't know it's just pureed it's not putrefied alpha busa certified moment how how do i
die from this baldrick's just got a fucking flask of tea so he's fine we're okay we all live i've got
vodka or takes out his little wrapped leaf little thing and he offers a worm the tanhauser like a bundle
it's like it's like klingon like what have you got the word yeah he offers it like you want some
yes and i'll take the worm and eat it how do you eat it uh i unhook my nozzle and you don't see
anything else after that just in the hole i was i was gonna i was gonna say you just turn into
tommy weiss and say don't even ask don't even ask
good news everyone we are expecting
all right so aura pops up dusts off uh follows mr uh calls baldrick and uh he's like he's like
mr baldrick how do you think we should go inside
at this point i think stealth is out the window kind of made a bit of a lot of noise
i would suggest that i could go in and take a look but we seem to be of the opinion we could
just discuss this with them and the assassins
and if we can't i suppose we'll do to them what we've done to everyone else in this misbegotten city
baldrick's gonna tilt his head to the side and he's just gonna sign he's gonna go along
all right bruiser's up front i'm in the back yep yep and howser points at the door and just says
door and now i'm gonna go up to the door it's okay great that sure is a door i'm gonna stay in
formation over here behind everyone who can take a hit okay
okay okay i'm gonna knock in front of me now there we go
knocking knocking at the door clang clang clang
does anything happen
it claims all right and i open the door it's locked how can this be
you're like a wizard right can you unlock it uh of course i can't but uh uh vina perhaps you
should uh demonstrate your lock picking skills bodrick is going to step up beside gorgamunger and pat
him on his curiously battering ram shaped forehead oh no don't tell him to headbutt the door down
that's where his brain is the arm will tap mr tadhauser feeling baldrick's energy mr tenhauser uh
gorgamunger could be a key yes he could but that's only if we can't get in without breaking the front
door gotcha as i after all uh compare wouldn't be especially excited about talking with us if we
destroyed his property first right it kind of destroyed some of his property but you know that's
besides the point oren waits on vena uh his funny ice sculptures though you know i'm sure he can make
more burning gouge destroyed hedgerows you know if he didn't want his bushes to be destroyed then he
shouldn't have had automatic sentries that are bad for plants he should have had sentries that were
plants anyway i'm gonna attempt a lock pick on the door gorgamunger you will have to be the battering
ram or else rahua will have to do it again oh god give me a thievery check vena i got you
that's a three oh that's uh yeah that's not good that's a 17
some that is a that that is a 17 that you rolled on the dice the loud fumbling lock
picking can um come up to do it as well well not quite um oh no fireball
ball ball ball ball stepping back well well funny you mentioned that no
and here we are clustered around the front of the damn door like a bunch of
i kid everyone please who is not baldrick give me a reflex oh oh a reflex save you say
oh that's a two uh oren rolled a 18 and gorgamunger rolled a 30 25 22 so everyone
but uh oren um passes oh yay so vena critically succeeds vena critically succeeds
um so backflip uh oren my feeble fireball strike from baldrick oren will take 20 points of damage
and then everyone else will only take 10 points of damage what's happening as a literal
gout of flame bursts out from the door handle washing over all of you um and then after that
finishes there is a distinct click sound oh well that's what i meant to do
what is what does the click signify thurston i should i should clarify when when when erndell was
like haha fireball room he wasn't lying that's literally what was on the door here
all right so did the click sound like it unlocking or did it sound like something
yeah it sounded like you unlocked the door that's the funniest
shit in the universe my man got that fireball rune and then he's just like all right if this
didn't kill them they can come right in
yeah i'm just gonna get back in line
is it one hell of a security you're gonna open the door yeah i'm gonna open it
one second what what can i move to the side before the other fireball attacks level three
lighting bolt yeah every square is a new level of spell every time they move one square forward
can i move 10 to the side uh maybe here let's do this oh i can't wait to find his eclectic
collection of statues and paintings there's just one giant hand that casts finger of death
i thought i thought i thought you were going to say i can't wait to find his eclectic uh his
eclectic collection of doors with fireball runes on them so how are we killed or so as you um as
you open the door veena you and ten hoser walk in to a an austere foyer uh immediately ahead of you
about 15 feet or so is a rising set of stairs that goes up um about over five feet probably again about
five feet up uh to a to a landing above that has sort of a balustrade around it the far end of it
there is a um there is like a a stone sort of plinth upon which is like this like bust with a a stern
looking elderly man's face looking out um along with that there is a portrait above there's two sort
of candle sets that are beside the the um that are beside the bust and then sort of illuminate
behind them and above is this portrait uh the portrait sort of glares down at everything in here
um i'll show you that oh uh got that child
be very careful what you say about that child oh that's not a real kid is it
please don't tell me that's a real kid wait i do not want a real kid on this show
no no no it's actually it's actually one of tutelle's baby pictures that they used in the art
i was gonna get real mad at you if that was someone's actual kid that's that's actually that's
tutelle needed a piece of art decided to use themselves okay um but you see this this large
portrait there like along with this there are um sort of like gold statues into the corners of these
rooms um there is a couch to the west and then there are several doors around this area
gonna rock up with a detect magic good idea
here
just generally taking a look throughout the room
okay you want to give me a perception check as you uh come on in here yeah
okay that's a 16 16. okay
is it worth it uh i don't even have a hero point never mind yeah you you step in as you do your
footsteps echo in this loud sort of room on the the marble floor there's like a tiling here um
the echoes throughout you you you unleash your pulse of detect magic but nothing's resonating
back to you except some low level conjuration from the lights here the candles especially
um which you would like innately probably guess is like a almost continual flame effect
makes sense
interesting all right then did that skeleton mention where the master's quarters uh
uh uh if i recall it was upstairs right i think so but i don't remember dm is that true um
you would you'd gathered that but you weren't entirely sure okay okay um probably start upstairs
make sense to me prepare for anything uh and i will bravely step forward and uh start going up the stairs
okay
uh stop there here oh yeah right where y'all are now oh dear um as you've all sort of started stepping into
the place um as you start stepping up this like walkway on the foyer uh tannhauser there is like a moment
as you step up where we're what you feel something it sort of rushes over you almost like a a cold cold
wind hits you uh and you look around sort of like expecting to fight more blizzard mentals
but uh none of them are here instead um what you notice is that's the portraits looking at you
oh
and at this point um
i want everyone to give me a perception check
even me except for you because you're outside yeah he is slow to approach
orin rolled a 24 and gorgamonger rolled a 30. i got a 27. 30 monger 23. hey what have you not
called him id 20s to be a one uh rahua sure nope that's the that's initiative there we go
oh no my thing's locked up hold on oh my god that's not good
one moment please locking him out there we go verboten oh 21.
okay so as as that happens you can see that the eyes on the portrait begin to to ooze black liquid
like everything's sort of like decomposing on it the rest of the room takes on a decomposing effect the
only one who seems to be able to uh look away in time is gorgamonger who like turns around uh
uh their their heads sort of going down onto the floor uh the rest of you um i require you to make
a will save okay oh dear
24 16. 25. gorgamonger rolled a 26 and orrin got a 30. gorgamonger doesn't have to okay my bad
orrin got a 34. yeah okay uh so of you the only one who succeeds here is
orrin yes uh every everyone else fails tanhauser you will critically fail not so yes
as like which is appropriate because you're the one who sort of walks up there um
you begin you you like lock eyes with this portrait something is like horrifically wrong it looks like
the world is melting through this portrait as it stares at you and every time you look into it
you just can't help but stare into these black pits that have appeared in the eyes which seem to
ever ever ever increasingly expand um let's see here uncle comped uncle comped um like i don't know
why it has me on that token but sure um here uncle yeah yeah pongo comp sure did that all of you take 35
points uh damage holy fuck oh yes all right do we need to take another hour break
no take a breather tan tanhauser you recoil back um taking double that as you almost fall down the stairs
um you turn towards your party members your skin running with like inky black veins and then as this
happens the portrait slightly angles and falls down and then falls face first onto the floor
that baby is not normal
baby that baby is a freakish bleeding mass
orrin succeeded the save never mind you don't take any damage
so uh baldrick's gonna call from like the doorway because he was trying to approach quite cautiously
and he's going to call in do i need to come in there is there is there something in there that
i need to deal with or what's happening in there the entire place it's all cursed it's all trapped
yep i appreciate from baldrick's perspective like everyone walks in two seconds there how's it going
guys burn it down everything's wrong no collectively everyone walked forward went up the stairs grabbed
their heads and went oh yeah and now now we need to stop and heal again oh boy frankly i think we
should just cut our losses and kill everybody in here with a fire no one will ever suspect that we
are actually here that's a very bad idea let's not do some badge i think we should kill everybody
out of the room just with a lighter just go fuck you fuck you just lighting all the curtains
that is a highly tempting maneuver but somehow i imagine the house plants might object or perhaps
the upholstery might strangle us all right baldrick is officially going to try and take charge now now
now that this is sort of failed miserably we haven't we just need to take a break it's just a trap
we can't we can't just take a break every time something nearly kills us we'll be here for years
like in in-game years not outside of it well yeah if you if these are the traps that are able to bring
us from full to red and you want to go into a combat encounter with that i don't want to go in
this is not what i'm suggesting i'm suggesting we all use our skills all of us at once to survey
the territory and ensure we don't hit the magical bear trap made of napalm i say we just let tanny
quaff a potion we maybe get some of our healers if he's not still immune to the battlefield medicine
uh i i don't know the only one who's immune to battlefield medicine is you yeah i'm not suggesting
i am not suggesting we don't heal tannhauser i'm just suggesting we need to slow our roll going
forward or otherwise we're going to have more death ray weapons or we'll come up to tannhauser
and uh he'll be like hey mr tannhauser just just just sit right here and say he'll offer him another
worm and i will uh i'll spend 10 minutes uh to heal tannhauser and uh i get my stuff
the 16 invisible assassins are watching us with great amusement
that is a 34 uh that is uh that is 2d8 plus 30. yay
that will work uh yeah i'd say chug a potion and we just keep going and make sure that we are not
uh stopping at any or we we are constantly being vigilant uh for more funny traps uh detect magic
as a cantrip so just kind of always have that running i i did it to the hell we can have more
people do it there are there are two magical people exactly i i will uh oh my god assassin
oh not another one okay the door to the southwest opens after the treating of wounds is occurring from
orin the the medicine atop the stairs uh baldrick is here sort of having this conversation a door
opens and one of the the goo of the goo dual comes out though this one uh similar like human human
figure uh definitely of sort of a quan shiri heritage of some kind um not carrying knives comes out
looks at all of you their eyes wide
you know
hi there um you have to leave you can talk you have to leave this place is wrong
oh wait how can you talk it gave me back my tongue you have to leave this place is wrong
uh could i could i give this guy a look and see if uh if this guy's okay
sure i'd be obvious uh you know are you so you're like walking up to this guy who who by the way like
now that has stepped in um this sort of you know like lightly lightly armored fellow uh blades are
like sheathed at the hips uh spends a lot of time looking at the uh large dragon in the center of the
foyer way thank you yeah i'll take a step i'll put my hands up just what do you mean this place is wrong
what happened to you it's wrong it gave me back my tongue i shouldn't be able to speak but i can speak
now it's wrong here it's so wrong
are there others here with you yes there were i think some time ago maybe i don't know if if if
if they went to the below or or they went to the above he like stumbles back and like falls on the couch
sitting like sitting but like stumble falls to sit on the couch so fights with that couch
eats them well not the mimic couch yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna take a couple of steps forward i'm gonna
have my hands out kind of reassuringly uh and i'm just going to now hold on so you said something about
this place is wrong that some people went above and some people went below we're here to try to stop the
people who are making it wrong is there anything you can tell us about the master of the house or
where your people are which master of the house there are many the one above the one below
tell me about both
the one above the one the one we were hired to work with the one
the one on that accursed portrait why is the portrait gone he won't be happy the portrait's gone
the portrait is gone okay what about the one below orchard where's the portrait where did the
portrait go he's like looking up at the gap on the wall where like the portrait clearly
sat before it fell down on the floor it was on the wall it attacked us and then it fell down
i don't i don't i don't i don't i don't okay i it's just on the ground it's not gone
his eyes as i see see things i think his eyes they saw my tongue they saw it was wrong so they put a
tongue there oh all right i understand i like how you're like i understand meanwhile the rest of
all of you behind are probably like what the fuck's going on yeah aren't the circle thing near his head
like whoo-hoo all right so the master above is his name sandal yes yes the the fat child not here
anymore indeed uh and then the one below that would be his grandfather i think i don't know i i i
couldn't go below i i couldn't i couldn't step through i couldn't do it that's why i think it
gave me the tongue it thought i was unworthy i see okay so it sounds like our target's underground
could you point us in the direction where he is no i i don't know where it it blocks me there's
a place that's maybe maybe from above to go below i i think is what what amulness told us but but i
didn't have to go below so i didn't all right so they're saying somewhere from above we can get to
below so i'm assuming we go back up the stairs and we try to see if we can find somewhere to get
underneath the house some kind of passage some kind of something all right listen to me are there any
others like you who need to get out of here they would be below amulnay might be with them they
might have gone below they might be above i don't know anymore this place it it it changes you it makes
you think in ways you shouldn't think it's wrong it's it's i don't know why but it's wrong
right it is you're not supposed to be here but you're supposed to be here
it is wrong that's why we're here to put a stop to it now i'm going to give you a choice
my friend we've seen your people we know that you can be very capable warriors so i'm going to
give you the choice you can stay with us you can fight this wrongness you can free the rest of your
people or you can get out of that door turn away and get the out of here
but if i go where will i go what will i be if i go um be whatever you want to be you're your own man
and the city of outset is the city of i would say opportunities but this place kind of sucks ass but
so long as you're alive you can make out of yourself what you want
do what you're going to do
or you can stay with us and fight you can't fight this it's wrong it's so wrong and like
baldrick do you like step out of the way as he gets up yeah he's he's he's going to be sarcastic
a sarcastic dick and motion to the door for him like a valley like go on yeah you like the the
the man like stands at the threshold turns to you
you all of you it wanted
the one below uh wanted you dead the one below is worried the one the one below
the one the one and then like he turns and takes a step out out of the threshold and as soon as he
does he like freezes and you hear this like awful gurgling like
um and like there's just this moment of him like seizing up at the doorway
boldrick grab him i'm gonna okay so he's going to lurch towards the man first and foremost
is there anything i can tell about what's happening to him is he like choking on his own spit or is he
like what give me a medicine check you've got medicine so yeah okay i'll give you a medicine
i will target him using my powerful skills yes very powerful let's see if i get anything
i'll get a 26 26 uh yeah like this would be like someone who's like asphyxiating
and oran um oh hey i'm sorry go ahead no go ahead what's up oran was uh from the distance is he
able to use his nature check to see what's happening to the guy to help give people more information
uh not in this instance this is this is definitely medicine and not nature
uh so with that check we'll be able to see exactly where he's asphyxiating is it like
his no because you're seeing him from like from from from the back like it looks like he's choking on
something
i think i have an idea yeah so baldrick's gonna grab him by the scruff of the neck and
yank him back in immediately okay and presumably can we have gorgamunger move aside or something just
over for some room uh baldrick is going to immediately pry his mouth open and i'm going
to withdraw my dagger because i think i know what just happened so as you do you you you set him
down he goes prone the rest of you are all sort of standing around here uh you like pull out your
dagger you i assume like kind of like pull open his like jaw a bit um and as as you do this you you
see through your visor um past his teeth his teeth have these like black stains it's like the entire
back of his mouth is covered in this this like tarry black substance
hmm oh i want to ask a question yeah that is quite obviously that looks like rot absolutely
per chance if i were to for some godforsaken reason tried to apply alchemical moss to this
would that kill this guy it is a it is a interesting theory um what you can tell in the
brief amount of time you're looking at this i'll take a one second like yeah like this is what you know
there is a let's say roughly tongue-sized mass of rot that is in the lodged in the back of this man's
throat okay uh it's going out the window baldrick is going to do exactly what he thought was happening
and he is going to immediately try and cut this guy's tongue out well it's it's it's not like it's
a tongue like it's almost like the tongue itself dissolved oh so well you said there's a tongue-sized
mass so he's going for the mass the mass exactly like like it's it would occupy that space it's not
like he has a tongue anymore it's that there is just something like a clawing amount of of uh
clang amount of rot in the back of his throat like his tongue dissolved and turned into rot and went
down the back of his throat all right so excising it won't do a damn thing all right in that case
baldrick is going to quickly can i do a crafting to conjure yeah yeah and i'm going to see if this
does anything if not i'll use i'll use an infused reagent for this if that's what you want me to do
yeah let's let's just have you do a crafting check here i think that's appropriate okay uh
representing use and whatnot alchemical goggles and alchemical savant uh yeah sure okay
craft it up what do i got i got 27 yeah so what ends up happening is you you manage to to get the
the moss the the sort of alchemical uh primal moss that counteracts the rot into the back of his throat
there's a like sickening hissing sound the man's convulsing stops um he is still breathing however
he is quite unconscious good enough i'm not looking to add to our kidnap count but this place sucks so
let's maybe not let this guy die miserably i guess there's nothing wrong with kidnapping people so long
is there for our underground guerrilla war effort of course yeah so true all right yeah so that was
fast but he is at least stable he's not dying
thurston yeah oh yeah yeah like he's unconscious he's breathing yeah okay
baldrick is going to sigh and immediately like wipe his fucking glove on the floor well
that's a bad sign the uh tongue that he said he got turned into rot it's just a big lump of garbage
in the back of his throat now he nearly died so let's be wary of anything that we managed to take
from this place or whatever this place manages to give us right uh hell hold on tanny yes he said that
something was up with the portrait did this it seemed to hurt you pretty bad do you feel anything
different anything lingering do i feel any lingering effects like like a like a pulsing a headache in the in
the in the back of your skull there's something that also like connects you to that portrait like
you have this oddest sense of just wanting to flip it on its back and put it back on the wall
uh arcana i want to i want to understand this connection and this portrait a bit better
sure and i am have to roll a monster 37 37 yeah um so in this case um it's it's enough to know that
um like this is definitely more an occult thing but like you're also trained in occultism so that
helps um like this is like this is some sort of like infestation of of reality here your your
your connection with the portrait is likely like very similar to some of your object whispers type
spellcasting where there's just like psycho psychometrically active stuff here this is a very
active house that has a lot of history that has a lot of sort of psychic residue around it um however
that sort of history and connection has been infected by this like presence of the rot um the fact that
it's so overt here is interesting but also like you know from from researching the rot that it tends to
it tends to manifest in more physical ways like you would expect that with a with an infection like
this um like there would be like black lesions on the walls of this building um that's how it tends
to spread through that sort of physical appearance the fact that this is like a so so psychically linked
like it's very like weird paranormally type situations tells you that there could be a
physical rot presence but it would have to be a very large rot presence that is kind of emanating
this out through the house like you're kind of at the peripheral edge of something
physical and much more you know impactful on the world okay would occultism give me more information
or have i gotten essentially everything yeah i'm basically treating that as like yeah you would
have made it on the right skill um but but yeah essentially you you're able to recognize that this
like this this area is probably like the furthest edge of something that's pulsing out this kind of
weirdness and i won't get information from object whispers right it's just like that kind of i mean you
you have a portrait you could certainly try it uh i'll object you don't know what would happen
okay do you say sorry cut out if you said something i'll uh object whispers the portrait
yeah sure so first of all as you like flip the portrait around again to to look at it or
please don't say 80s require it uh you don't instead like the picture now shows a different
face face on it oh whoops i clicked the wrong one but you get the picture like wrong touchable
no actually sandal declan's face but um yeah it shows sandal declan's face on it like
in sort of that like regal-ish pose
but it's on the portrait now
yeah so you were going to cast object whispers object whispers
okay uh one sec
yeah you get you get a little bit of resonance back um
it's it's it's kind of like pulsing a little bit through your mind as you touch it um and you can see
it it just said it replies back the son of the discoverer the the son of the explorer
the the son of the explorer the son of the son of the explorer the son of the son of the explorer
the son of the discoverer the son of the explorer
the son of the son
of the discoverer
the son
of the son
of the explorer
this is woefully
obscure genealogy
for a noble family
but I suppose it'll have to do
I'll turn to everybody else
unfortunate tidings
as you may have already
surmised there's a large
rot presence currently
active in the area
we will have
to dispose of it
nothing we haven't
handled before huh
perhaps not but I would
be worried
for such a magnitude
of a presence you would expect
infection infestation
all across this area
but instead
all we have
is this psionic
intrusion
this place is not only
charged with
psychic energy
but it also
is clearly being affected
by a rather
enormous
rot presence
this might be more powerful
than what we've dealt
with before
good
this is the most evil
residence I've ever been in
I consider it more of a
biohazard myself
true
I get it
let's go ahead and head
upstairs
he indicated
that
sandal is probably
the one upstairs
and then there is a means
to get down to his
grandpa from there
all right
do we leave our poor
unfortunate
quantia here
I don't think he's gonna
join us for
battle
so
I imagine
if we leave him here
he's apt to dive
if anything patrols
around here
and much as I don't think
he'll be terribly useful
in speaking to us
having an assassin
in our pocket
wouldn't be a terrible
idea
you're right
give me a second
I'm gonna grab
the Quan Chi
I'm gonna
stuff him
behind the couch
oh for fucks
so that he's hard
to see
behind the couch
and
in his unconscious
hand
I'm going to pull out
uh
some of my pamphlets
my revolutionary literature
and I'm just gonna
just stick that
in his hand
and can I roll society
to see how convincing
this literature is
I was
I was just gonna have
Gorgamonger
haul him around
on the back
on his back
for a little bit
yeah but we're going
into more danger
how enterprising
that would be a 31
really good literature
welcome to the revolution
my friend
and uh
with that
I think I've done
all I can
for him
oh
all right
what kind of
point towards the door
and go
I mean it's
it's only a theory
but
uh
when it looked like
the guy's
mouth was filled
with rot
as soon as he
crossed over the door
it seems like
rot started to
either
dissipate
or finally react
so I don't know
if things are
infested with rot
or so
it just doesn't
have any influence
past this house
or anything with power
so
if we have another
opportunity
we can explore that
yes
I mean we could just
test that right now
can you pass me
that painting
yeah
yeah I was saying
shove it out there
see if it finally
explodes
exactly
you gotta pass it
down the chain
and we're gonna
just throw it
outside
or we'll pick up
the painting
but like do it
carefully
where it's
constantly facing
down
and he'll like
kind of
slightly
and he'll like
kind of awkwardly
bring it down
the stairs
make sure the
face of it
doesn't see
anybody
and he'll
pass it
and he'll
kind of pass it
off to Baldrick
Baldrick will
lackadaisically
hold it
not fully knowing
why everyone
is so afraid
of this painting
and he will
just kind of
wave it
outside the
door frame
yeah
it like waves
but nothing else
seems to happen
okay
we're not getting
an easy answer
this way
so let's just
watch our steps
carefully
yeah he'll
just place the
painting outside
the door
then walk it
in
yeah
hang it on
the door handle
jump scare
Declan jump scare
all right
let's move on
carefully
okay
you're gonna start
making your way
up the stairs
yep
do we
do we have
time for that
Thurston
well I was about
to say that
as you start
making your way
up the stairs
someone begins
to walk down
them turning
around towards
you
you see
the form
of Tessin
the rat
folk
stepping down
the stairs
Tessin
hey bud
how you
uh
how you
hanging in
there
what the hell
are you
doing here
I don't think
that's Tessin
he's spinning
does Tessin
do that
I don't think
Tessin does that
rotating them
uh
detect magic
yeah
so you
you begin
to cast
like
cast magic
and as
you start
seeing this
this figure
walk down
there's this
weird distortion
effect
like
Tessin's
not moving
normally
there's like
this
back and
forth
cutting
like he's
stepping
five feet
forward
and then
snapping
back
like he's
got
terrible
lag
as he
moves
um
eventually
he gets
to the
top
of the
stairs
and like
does like
a 360
spin around
to face
towards
you
hello
that's not
what Tessin
sounds like
all right
who are
you
we should
start coaching
it on how
to sound
like Tessin
no no
it's more
like a
little bit
higher pitch
are you
here for
the
parade
snacks
parade
oh wait
there was a
parade wasn't
there
i'm gonna
walk up
touch
Tessin
and object
whispers on
him
object
here
give me a
will save
i would love
to give you
a will save
yeah
okay
well that
was almost
an 18
okay
so so
so you
go up
and like
touch
like now
now
you come
up sort
of i'm
assuming like
beside him
and then
sort of put
your your
hand on the
shoulder type
thing or
yeah
because object
whispers is
touch
so i have
yeah so
so you go
up you
you put
your hand
on the
shoulder
um
and there
is this
there is
this this
moment
where
you know
Tessin
seems to
react
like there's
this
instinctive
like twitch
like the
the head
moves a
fraction of
an inch
right towards
you um
and then it
snaps and
goes left
and turns
around and
you hear
cracking bones
as it does
so and
Tessin's head
stares at you
suddenly his
eyes are
completely milky
white his
mouth opens
briefly and
there's just
this like
foaming
black in
it and
then the
head cocks
slightly but
doesn't stop
cocking and
it starts to
move and
you hear
this like
tearing of
skin and
neck bone
as the
head
lulls off
and the
last thing
it says
before it
hits the
ground in
a sickening
wet crunch
is
you won't
find
zale
yummy
and then the
body is
gone
oh
oh
this house
seems to
think
i can
play
games
with
my
mind
or
i'll
show it
a game
the door
slams shut
behind
baldrick
oh
huh
well
nowhere to
go but
upstairs
huh
you good
tanny
i will
not be
undone
by a
property
yes
i'm ready
to go
all right
and i think
we'll call it
there
hell yeah
yay
yay
a boldly
flea
shut up
i look
forward to
haunted house
the adventure
with you
yay
just in time
for november
the spookiest
month of the
year
oh
turkey
we made
it
we're in
danger
we have
that belayed
spooky month
without our
amazing players
starting off
with odoroshi
i is me
as odo
i was playing
veena the
self swashbuckler
and today
you saw me
roll above a
five
yay
a lot of
ones
so thank
thank you for
your belief
thank you for
your your
your kind
words
and next up
we have
hokie crow
that's me
i'm hokie crow
i have been
your kanrasu
clear
you can find
me at the
usual places
and now on
twitter twitch
too i'm always
on twitter i was
always there i
never left
and
yeah i
i i did
things i tried
to hit things
and i also got
attacked
and we have
erndel
hello my name
is erndel and
i was alchemist
baldrick and you
can find me at
twitter at
erndelio and
basically nowhere
else except
twitter.com
and discord
and twitter
and discord
and twitter
discord
and there's
speaker d
hey everybody
i'm speaker d
you can find me
for now on
twitter
super snake
kick you can
find me on
blue sky now
uh as
speaker d
dot b sky
dot social
and you can
also take a
listen not just
to alpha abuse's
myriad of
projects on
alfred abuse's
youtube channel
but you can
also find the
first four
sessions in
audio only
format of the
norfolk wizard
game the
mage the
ascension
chronicle that
i story tell
for many of
these arrayed
fiends uh
and it's up on
spotify as the
norfolk wizard game
that's spelled the
same way as
norfolk but
pronounced
differently is in
english fun
of course we
have our
spooky game
master thurston
hillman
hello you can
find me at all
the things at
on call gm i
just want to
thank the
players um
and i'm very
excited for where
we're going in
this adventure you
can also come
uh hang out
tomorrow for
starfinder and
listen to our
starfinder show
that's been going
on that's pretty
cool um and
yeah i don't know
all the things on
call gm um
i like life is
crazy right now i
love all of you
your support means
a ton and just
keep being awesome
people out there
of course i have
been your host uh
zorn the bear for
this evening i've
been playing on
the strict druid
along with gorg
monger the
where nation so
with that everybody
thank you all so
very much for
watching us today
we will see you
guys next time
for another
exciting episode
of rot grind
so long farewell
we'll see you
next time
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye
bye