A 5150 sounds like a good time, 1 more for Lebron + Yeezy porn

Buckle up for a rollercoaster of topics: lack of self-grooming, parenting chaos, NBA playoffs drama, Met Gala anticipation, Kanye doing porn (?), binge-worthy shows, and quirky husband tales. It's a whirlwind of sass, wit, and unapologetic fun!

Creators & Guests

Host

Vanessa R

Producer

Pilar Lyutfalieva

What is The Gooped and Gagged Podcast?

Vanessa and Pilar are two moms with a sense of humor about life, kids, fashion, the internet, and everything in between.
"We're not just regular moms, we're cool moms..."

Pilar Lyutfalieva (00:00)
Goop and God.

Okay, first off, let's be real. I have no hair. First off, let's be real. I have no hair. Well, that's a good way to start a conversation. I mean, let's be real. I need my nails on because what is this? my goodness. They're so little. I know. I had to cut them all down because they were like left dang and bending. I haven't had time.

Since we came back from Florida to get my nails done and I look like a train wreck. I need my lashes done. I ran out of hair. I just feel like. You can't even tell. I'm trying. Thank you. What's next? He's going to send me to Gaza. I don't know. Say Gaza. I don't know what else. I know it's like first world problems.

My niddle weren't done. I ran out of skink. I went totally crazy with my nails. Ooh. What is that?

Shave head, cut the nails. I know who is she? Bitches on the edge. I like it when I talk to people they're like, how are you doing? How are you? Are you like? How are you? How are you? Somebody was like, because I was saying how my hair was falling out and and it was a dude I was talking to.

And he was like, was it like the medication? Like he don't even know. He had no idea. Like that happened. He just threw that out there and I was like, no. Like, was it the chemo? Literally, literally, literally. Are you okay? The medic. Like, you mean am I chemo or radiation? No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I bipolar and my medication?

My anything is like if you just bring out is Britney bitch and then just like aaaah! Like aaaah! Like crying in the mirror with your mascara like running down your face. You should have done that for dramatic effect. That would have been cool. my god I should have. Right you should have. And started singing chandelier. Like you're shaving your head. you're gone!

then you are. Did she really just go full Brittany with now? I was joking. No, come back. This is funny. Come back. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean that. But yeah, you should have shaved your head and like screamed out chandelier while you were like shaving it. Laughing and crying and screaming at the same time. No, like, okay, well, this is enough for us. Implement that.

That 50 -50, what is it called? The whole, the 51 -50, right? The cycle? is it 51 -50? Yes, it is 51 -50. I was like, I wouldn't know that. I wouldn't know that. Not personally. Not personally, but I do. I'm not speaking from experience. Experience, but definitely the friends of a - I know from a friend. I know from a friend of a friend. Yeah. Is that okay? Sure. I know from a friend of a friend. My friend told me what.

But sometimes those holes don't seem as bad when you're a parent. It's like, it's probably quiet. You don't have to cook dinner. And undisturbed. And you might be able to sleep in. So I'm like, yeah. Like sleeping on the floor for a parent. Whatever. But then it's quiet. Let's talk about priority. It's fine. I'm like, if I'm on this 5150 hole, will there be any children there? Yeah, exactly. Like, no children.

No, hmm Yeah, they're like well, there's no bed. It's like well I would rather sleep on an undisturbed floor than a king -size bed with three kids in it and Ask me now what's for dinner tonight because that itself will drive me into the madhouse that same question every night I'm like a 51 50 hole sounds like a good time. I don't even know how you do it because you actually cook don't you?

Most times, yes. Other times I'm just like, don't you just want cereal or something? That's what I would eat if I had to have any shoulder in it. Same. Or not eat at all. I'll just drink some water or some almond milk or something. I don't feel like cooking. Something to feel full. I'm like, why are you guys hungry? There's nothing that sends me more than my husband going, so have you thought about dinner? And the kids are fucking asleep. I'm like, are you kidding me right now?

He asked me this every day once or then I'll ask him I'm like so what do you want for dinner tonight? I don't know. They never know what they want to eat for dinner and then whatever and then you'll make a suggestion and then I don't want that What the fuck do you want? Yeah, what do you want? No one prepares you for that part of adulthood that says it's an ongoing hell of figuring out what to cook every single night for the rest of your life until you die.

I'm pretty sure it's the number one complaint of all like default parents because I feel like it normally falls on the default default parent to think about what was everybody going to eat? Yeah. And that is the number one, number one, like it's a full time job between making sure the cupboards are full, especially when you have children who are growing or boys who are just like. I don't understand.

I told them to use their school stomach. Stop fucking asking me for snacks. my, do you eat this much at school? Yeah. Use your school stomach. I'm like, stop asking to eat. I didn't eat this much when I was younger. My mother would be like, no, go away. Like you go eat some dry cereal or something. You haven't eaten enough. I'ma cut you off. Yeah, like you eat enough. Like stop. They just want to eat. I want a snack. I want a snack. god, with the snacks. Yeah, from Aiden. Aiden at eight o 'clock in the morning. Is chips too early? Yes.

Yes, yes it is in fact too early for chips. Are you out of your mind? You just had your lovely egg or waffle or whatever. You just, me man, it's just grub together for you. Yes, it's too early for snacks. Like go drink water, go stop asking me. Eat, eat, eat, eat, eat. That's all I wanna do. And it's just like, I'm tired of feeding you. I'm tired of feeding you. You want me? I don't want to give it to you. Exactly, guard.

Mom bars, like leave me alone. Like, just stop. Like I just figured out breakfast and then Drew, my son, the oldest boy, was for dinner, like around like one o 'clock in the afternoon. I don't know. Stop. Did I even feed you lunch yet? And you're going to have big boys. You're going to have big boys. He has a deep voice. He goes, what's for dinner? I'm like, first of all, you don't sound like you're seven. You sound like a 70 year old chain smoker named Charlie or something. He's like, what's for dinner?

I'm like, you're seven. Why do you sound like this? And secondly, I don't know. I don't know. I don't even know what's for lunch. I didn't even eat breakfast yet. And here I am. Just, I don't even know how I'm standing right now. I'm just here. Just staying on willpower and a tad of rage. I don't know. I don't know. It's just we're going to rage. I don't know. I'm here. Breakfast. I was telling my husband because we were.

because the baby's now, she's working up to solids. And so. duh. My, duh. And Sark was like, he was like, well, you can, you know, I'm like, it's hard because I have like the, I'm scrambling in the morning. Yes. And then finally I get the kids off to school. And then by the time, you know, we come back, that's the golden hour. That's because of the driving and everything, the baby's falling asleep. Right. So, you know.

Breakfast is pretty much done and the foods that we would give her I would want to give them to her You know like a banana and stuff like that like I'm wanting like the first thing in the morning to kind of start the day difficult he goes well, why don't you just Feed her when you have breakfast. I could see the red. It's like kill Bill and I could I could hear the music like what's going on her hit list, you know, I'm going off and she's gonna kill them and it's like she's flashing back and

to like what they did to her and then she's looking at them and the music is playing and that's how you're looking at him. I'm like, I'm like, I don't eat. I don't eat. What is that? What is break fast? What is that? I'm trying to say break fast. And what the fuck does that mean? Do you think I do that? This sounds like something I should know. Right. Land far away, maybe in a past life. I don't know. It sounds familiar. I'll give you that. But.

You're like, you're like, what the fuck is breakfast for me? This bitch don't know what that is. I don't know what breakfast is. I don't have time for that. I don't eat until like 12 30 or one o 'clock or whenever the fucking baby goes to sleep. And then it's like when they're transitioning to solids, it's really annoying. I hate when they transition to solids. Then you have to actually feed them. Like you have to sit there, feed them. Cause they're not really eating. They're not going.

And they're like this. you get away from me. They're like slouched over. Can you just sit up, please? Like, can you just can you tighten up your spine, please, and hold that at the head is still like, you know, like this. And you're trying to get this. I had to send you a video of East girl because she no joke, she is a fiend. Well, I can see that. My abs things and she's like, no, I mean, no, no, no.

Give her the banana. I'm doing this thing like I don't give him puree just so that she can get familiar with the thing. Yeah. So anyways, I have I'm holding the banana to her and she's like, she's like, she's like, interesting. She's like, you're like, girl, you're like a Vulcan death grip. You're like, give it back. You know, whether you grab the spoon or.

Sometimes they're, you know, their tongue and swallow reflex is like still destroying. And so you're feeding them and it's like, they think it's going in their mouth. They're like, it's not that. And it's like flying out. You're like, no, you're like swallow it. Pretend it to melt. And then it takes you like 40 minutes to actually feed them their said solids. So you just can't.

It's nice when you have one child and then you don't have to do anything else after it's different when it's just, yeah, you know, it's mine. Yeah. You know, you have one. It's still very overwhelming. It is. And it's like, they don't know. Like, listen, kid. I don't know. Now, I'm going to be your one. It's all my children had brunch because. Nice. I have stuff to do and you're going to eat. It's just going to be liquid in the morning. So we're going to have a shake. A mommy shake.

Or you know, whatever. And then we're going to do brunch. So you're going to have your first meal probably around 11 ish and that'll carry you over into lunch because you're going to go to sleep now. It's hard to get the whole schedule thing. It is. It is. And I don't think anybody like if that's your natural personality to have like a schedule and a thing. I love those days. Please. That's great. Good for you. I love that. I'm trying to be that. I can't but.

For 80 % of the world, that is not a natural human thing to work like a Roma. Right, I really want to be like that automated Christian Bale American psycho, like calendarized, regimented. I feel like he would have it down to a T. you would? I feel like he would. Yeah. He would be a great parent. I feel like he would be really good with that, you know? American psycho. He would be a great parent.

He'd be really good with activities. You know, like the kitchen was in there, like the calendar plan. Yeah, meal planning. He would be great. like, you know, the meal prep, like this for dinner tonight. That's fine. I'll just cook it. You tell me what it is, hun. It's a dream. You know, Americans, I go call him AP. Yeah. And I'm good with that. You tell me what to do, AP, and I'm going to do it. But luckily, my husband, he's,

He is very, like, he's good with timing and things like that, but it's not his sole focus. So he's not gonna be the one to say, do this, you know, kind of do that, follow this counselor. Only for something he cares about. Yeah. Does he ever, so our big thing, like, I don't have really many, any complaints about Zark, except for one. And any feedback I have for him, it all ties back to this one thing. And it's essentially,

hear like, yeels and tell him more. Tell him more. Is, he has a delegation tone about everything. And if he sees something, he assumes it's a problem. He immediately wants to assign blame. Like our favorite inside joke is from Thor Ragnarok.

master, what's the universe for Ragnarok? Jeff Goldblum, Jeff Goldblum. Yes. What was his character? Was it master of games? It was master. Something master. I'm going to look for something. That's one of my favorite movies too. for real. That is, I love Ragnarok.

Like it was so, it's just really funny. Just go with perfect. This is so typical mom brain too, that we love something so much and yet we can't remember the name of him. I don't remember his name. Let me see the cast. Like I'm coming here man. He's still right. Heimdall. Yeah. Yeah. Grandmaster. Grandmaster. Our favorite like inside joke is when he, his whole scene where he's like, I woke up today thinking about an execution.

It's like all excited. He's like, I'm going to. He's like, I'm ready to blame someone. Yes, that's it. Yes. That's our. Sports wise, I feel like there's nothing going on. I know you're not into basketball. I'm into playoff basketball. you are. OK, you are watching. I want to get to talk about it, though. I don't want to talk about it. Is there I mean, Lakers aren't in it anymore. And that was like. Anthony Davis, he.

said this for a long time and people may not agree with me, but I thought he sucked since he was on the Pelicans. I thought him and those caterpillars humping on his face were just overrated and I didn't see the hype and I still don't see the hype. He sucks. Like, I don't know if he sucks all the time, but every time I see him play, he sucks. So I deduced that I feel like he sucks. I mean, what is he, what was he doing? LeBron is like 80.

And why is he still trying to put up, well having to put up like 45 coins when you have these young people that should be pulling their weight? That was a prank. Anthony Davis didn't score shit during that series. Are you kidding me? What? I think it was like a certain game. Let me pull this up. Cause he named me mad. I like LeBron by the way. And I'm like, he is just trying to put it on his back still. Like this is 10 years ago.

And he shouldn't have to when he has a team. He shouldn't have to. You shouldn't have a head screw. I mean, I don't know what's happening inside the team because I know that he tries to like level up the team, but he also might just be so old and like... Yeah, like, bruh, you wanna listen. Like, you know what, I'll just carry this shit for as long as I can. That's what I'm saying. Like, he's like, bruh, I'm just, I'm just here. All right, let me see what this person did. okay, I take it back. He did have some points.

I don't feel like he wasn't effective. It was just... Yeah. He wasn't giving... He wasn't giving it. Like he wasn't playing like, you know, the series, but he just wasn't bringing it. Like, I don't know. Yeah. He wasn't playing with the same, like, tenacity. Like, I can't explain it. I was like, why is he here? You can tell when they've already resigned. Like, they're already giving up the game. Like, they already know or they already, like, accept the fact that they lose.

Yeah, so he gave us two weeks notice and like by the second game. He's like, you know what, bro? Like, I'm actually not coming back on Monday. So I'm clocking in to get, you know, this last check. Like, I'm not even really here. I'm here. I'm not here. You're not even really here. That's so real. It's like, yeah, Walmart, you're like, you know what? Today's going to be my last day. They don't know, but I know. They don't know, but I know. They're not going to see me tomorrow. They're going to be looking at me for my shift.

I'm not gonna be here. There's retail all the way. You're like, I'm at Target now. They could suck it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I didn't think it that from him. He just was like, mm. Yeah. And the Lakers on paper looked like they were a good, you know, match for the Nuggets. Like, if you looked at them and what they could have done, but it's like, they lost by one point. And it's like they blew a lead. I think it was in the second game. It was like they blew a 20 -point lead. Yes, exactly. And then they lost by, I think that was the game that they lost by one, I think.

I think I'm not sure. I was giving me the recap and I was like, I can't even listen. It was just bad. It's just like the drama. I was gonna say it and get swept. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I guess, but he just wasn't giving what I needed him to give. Poor LeBron, man. I'm not giving this. I mean, he does have a lot of rings, so it's not like he's lacking or anything. I mean, who else can say that they've been what to the finals? I mean, the playoffs. Right.

like almost every season of their career. I feel like he didn't make it, what, maybe like the first two seasons or something when he was a young player on the Cav. Yeah. Did they make it? No, they didn't make it. They made it his first year. They may have. His first year? No, no. But maybe it was first week or second. I feel like he spent most of his career going to the playoffs. I feel like 95 % of his career was making it to the playoffs. And who can say that? Like,

You can always count on him being there. Like he can go to anything and they'll be there. Right. You say like poor LeBron, but at the same time you're like, and you hate to be in that feeling of resignation because you know, there's greatness there and you don't ever want to be like, that's good enough, Kobe. Or that's good enough, you know, LeBron, that's good enough Jordan. You know, that, and that's not their personality. So. Right. And I wanted to see him get in the ring.

I want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see him in another ring. I still want to see

Hold on knees, my brown knee. You know what I mean? My brown knee. He's like, hold on baby, hold on. He's got the peak physical form, he's great. But you know, he's been playing what, since 2003, 2004? It's crazy to me. In the end of the year. Yeah. I'm sorry. And it's a physical.

And he's still in peak form. He's not out. I mean, he's out sick sometimes, you know, he hurt himself. But you know, it's about this shit. God, I hope so. I was gonna be like, what are you doing? I can be in jail for two months. Right. Like I know, right? Like, what are you doing that you're not hurt? Like you're a cyborg or something. Yeah. Yeah. But he has heard he's human. He's human. I wouldn't have well worrying. Yeah. Yeah. Let's let's let's my new favorite phrase is, instead of let's manifest this.

into reality it's let's do Lulu this into reality. That's what I'm on. I'm on a Lulu shit. I'm on a Lulu. It's like I tell my husband it's not that bad. It's like you can't afford this. You have to pay it. It's fine. Make you feel better about yourself. I love it so much because most people when they manifest and they do Lulu in for sure. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like the 80 % of people don't know.

Jack shit about manifesting. They're just like, I want diamonds and rings and that's it. And more expensive shit. That's me. I am delusional. I don't care about none of that. do you do the Lula? I'm the queen. Call me the Lula. That isn't me. I'm the queen of that. It's like, fuck it. So hilarious. Well, we got a Lula, LeBron getting his his final ring. I just want to get a final ring like the same way I wanted.

I wanted Chris Paul to eventually get a ring. Yeah. I would like, I don't know if it's going to happen though. I went to Dame, you know, to actually make it to the finals. Cause he spent so much of his time, you know, in Portland wasting away. Like just fucking. Where is he in Portland now? No, he's not the trailblazer. He's with the Bucks. It was his first season with the Bucks and him and Yana both hurt this series.

And there was no way they were going to beat the Pacers. Both of them hurt. What's up with the Bucs right now? There's something special about the Bucs. What was it? They have a new coach or they're getting a new coach? The coach is Doc Renners. Yes, that's what it is. That's what you talk about, but they have Dane and Giannis and that's like a huge, you know, and the Bucs have a great team, but it's like, I knew they wouldn't beat the Pacers without Giannis and Dane. They need at least one of them.

to be strong contenders in the playoffs. I'm like, okay, maybe next year. I was hoping, you know, I had hopes. I'm like, come on, Dame, I know you can do this. Dame time, game time. The Knicks are in the second, they moved on to the second round. Stop. When was the last time they ever did that? It's been over 20 years. Damn. I believe it's been that long. And they're playing the Pacers. They're playing the Pacers and Knicks who stopped them.

last time like in the 90s with like, you know, John Starr and Oakley and Ewing, they played against Reggie Miller. my God. my God. Reggie Miller did this. That was for the Knicks and they were choking when they were up and then they eventually lost the series. So now the Knicks have time for retribution. They're going against the Pacers in the next round, starts on Monday. I mean, I'm pulling for them. If the Knicks somehow. I'll be watching. I'll be watching. So this is what I like.

If I know what's going on and I see and I like there's the drama. That's why I'm here. I'm like, I'm here. I'm here for my. Yes. You mean it's not like the old school basketball, you know, when they used to fight and stuff like 20 years ago. Exactly. Like, where are the bad boys? The bad boys at the NBA, like, don't get me started. Like basketball has not like that. Scream. Listen, basketball needs to foul you and check you like.

Because punching is something. It's not. Okay. I can't do that now, but that's what used to be very, very aggressive. Yeah. Watching Rodman play, I think was... Yeah. He was like in the going on in the final era of it. I feel like the final like bad era of the NBA was in 2003. Like, do you remember the palace? Yeah. Talk about going out with a bang.

Boy, like that was the best game I ever seen in my life. That was in 2003. It wasn't even a game. It was bad. I mean, did you see that? Honestly, it was really hard to watch. I was like, my God. I was like, my God. He's like, violence or chaos. Both of them. Like, he was there. It was everything. Lying down as a fan through something I have and he just.

He said up into the stands and started wailing and it started a whole melee. I mean, it was if I saw a almost seven foot tall man crawling across the stadium like spider like just like venom. I would immediately be like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I died at the floor like, just like welter. I'll be like a phasing goat.

Go into the fetal position and do this. Go into the fetal position. Don't resist it. Just don't. Like, it's better if you just don't resist. Literally. Literally. If you relax your muscles, it'll probably be easier. Yeah, exactly. Don't tense up either. Just go loose. Just go loose. Right. Because you'll be less sore. Exactly. Exactly. But yeah, ever since then, I feel like the NBA, you know, they've been like, OK, we got to like. Yeah, they're like, and scene. I'm like, that's it.

But yeah, like basketball players back then, it was a wild time. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like the 70s, you know, 70s, 80s, 90s. It was wild. 70s, man. That was good back then. I mean, you never know what you might see. I mean, it's okay. Especially when like, black hair players started coming in more. Right. And there was like all that extra tension. Yes. Of black players being in. And I mean, like, I love... What documentary was it? I don't even remember. But it was Bird.

with Larry Bird. Larry Bird. Yeah. And he was talking about he was like, you know, they would they would say they would put me up there up against their their best man. And he was like, they weren't black. He was like, I didn't they weren't the best. He's like, he's like, I considered it like, you know, like that was a real measure of your talent. You were able to play equal because, you know, they were dominating. They were coming in and they were like, hi, everybody.

Right. Our game. Yeah. You know, like Boston, you know, especially around that time, you know, he's like they're they're white savior. Yeah. Exactly. Like the black. yeah. And Larry was like, y 'all are racist. But like, I'm just going to play that he was so special. So I was like, you hear Larry Bird talk. You're like, bro.

We love libya, you know, he knew what was going on. And then magic not to like the complete opposite emotional and like Mr. Show, you know, show time. Absolutely. Magic. Totally. Totally. And then time and NBA. Now you look now like, that's a flavor. Yeah, like when they lose the punch people like just straight up punch. And then they give a bow. Now it's like.

They're like, you're out of here. You're out of here. I'm like, geez, I can't even kick anybody in the knees anymore. I barely touched them. I got some. No blood, no foul. Yes. That's on my children. Are you bleeding? No. He's fine. I had a bone sticking through the skin. I'll get you an ice pack. You want an ice pack? Right. Do you see a line under the skin? OK, great. There's no fractures on the nape. They were good. We're fine. No blood, no foul.

100 % 100 % that's so funny. Okay cool so that was our sports segment. Bam bam! Excellent. It's the submarine. Okay. Did they not see how this movie ended the last time with somebody? The commenters so funny on this. So let me read this. I'm gonna read this out loud. Okay and I think it's the same company.

that had the same, you know, had the incident with the Titanic. That's what I believe. Yes, because in the comments they were talking about the logo, the name, the tail. So it says bubble shaped submarine can dive 660 feet, letting you tour the sea floor in first class. The description Triton submarines, a company in the US. First of all, that's wrong. I don't want anything US based. I keep going. This is trash.

No, keep going. Created the Triton 669 AVA submersible. It's meant to revolutionize underwater exploration for everyone. It can go as deep as 660 feet, 200 meters underwater, giving people a stunning look at the ocean's beauty. Triton just confirmed that the submarine works well and got certification from DNV.

It should be DNR, do not resuscitate. Your ass is gonna die under there. I'm telling you. No. I just said DNR. The bubble -shaped hub gives an amazing 360 degree view of underwater scenery, including above, below, and behind. Yeah, as above, so below. It's approved to dive 660 feet, 200 meters. This advanced sub can hold nine victims, I mean people.

A room for eight guests and one pilot to the upper room. And it's an upper room, but that's where you're going. Or you're so close to hell when you die, you won't have a far trip if that's where you're going. and it has leather seating for passenger comfort during the entire dive. Stop. And it can run for 12 hours straight. It measures at 9 .02 feet or 2 .75 meters long, 14 .8 feet.

four and a half meters wide, seven and a half feet or 2 .3 meters tall. So you're in a casket, essentially a really oversized casket. You're in a group casket. You're in a group casket. You guys all chipped in to have a really big group casket for nine of you. It's equipped with life support oxygen, keyword life support, and a CO2 scrubber for safety. So here's from a business standpoint.

I mean, you're... I hope they have good insurance because they're going to get sued when they have a lot of dead people showing up. Or not showing up. Just literally imploding and just looking like Ant -Man particles. They're going to be in the quantum realm. That's what's going to be left of them. my God. Like when I think about how tough of a situation, I mean, just like the industry in general, because if you think about it, okay, yes.

Is it going to get better? Is the technology going to get better? Yeah, I want to be the first one. I don't even want to be the first one to buy the first round of iPhones. I want to work out the kinks. You know what I mean? Like, let the work out the kinks a little bit. You know, get the upgrades. There's always something wrong. You know, with the first batch. You know, first few batches. You got to wait. 100%. I'm never, I'm never, even when it says like, do you want to update your phone with the latest?

OS. No, I wait until I can. And then you wait because then you're my friend, everything is above you see the articles. Yeah, new update has bugs. This update right here, whatever this is gonna have a serious bug. Yeah, deadly one. You couldn't pay me enough. And it's just like, yeah, we can't really you got to wait. Yeah, we can't even really figure out how to self drive. Yeah, Tesla. You know what I mean? Without accidentally killing someone. So and that's above ground.

You know, I mean above water. You know, I can breathe oxygen normally, so I'm more likely to try that. Yeah. No, do that. Right. Six hundred and sixty feet underwater. What was it before? What was it with the the other ones? I don't. It must have been. I don't know. Maybe that deep because how deep is Titanic? It was like on the ocean floor. And this little picture they have here, they look like they're on somebody's floor. I mean, I don't know if they're like.

with the Megalodon, you know, the big ass charm. What's that? Megalodon. Megalodon, thank you. I'm literally over here. The Meg, whatever, the Megalodon. I got the best compliment. I was saying asynchronous. asynchronous. What are my favorite words? But I was saying asynchronous. Somebody said. Mixed with sacramonious. And they said, you know what, don't feel bad.

It means that you read a lot. I was like, wow, that's, you know, that's down patronizing, but I love it. Asyncrious, which asyncrimonious. Asynchronous. Asynchronous. You know, you're like, actually what it means is there's make up. You're like, actually, no, I just said it wrong. Yeah, like I'm not going on the ocean floor. This is 660 feet. I'm not going out 660 feet in the air on a far down plane.

board, no innocent first class leather. So when you're, when you die, you'll be sitting in your leather clad casket. So the Titanic was double that 12 ,500 feet. No, not double. What am I talking about? I can't do math. Nobody can. You can't speak. I can't do math. I can't do math either. So I'm just, I'm just totally like useless. Okay. So 600 meters. Hold on.

It lies in two main pieces about 2000 feet apart. Okay. Okay. So 600 meters apart, but depth it's 690 kilometers. We're not in the UK. 12 ,500 feet. Put that in feet. How many feet is that? 12 ,500 feet. Okay. Significantly lower. Significantly lower. That's 160 feet.

Okay, you're probably looking at like the like the australian. What's it called? Like the marianas trench? Is that over there? Yeah, no, no, that's the deepest. that's the deepest trench, right? Yes. I'm talking about like the reef, like the coral reef. The biggest coral reef in the world. The great barrier. Is that what it's called? Something the barrier, the great barbie a reef.

It is the barrier reef. That's what it is. That's over there. The Pacific, Lincoln Road, pretty inside. I feel like I used to know this. Hold on. I think it's the real name. The center of the brain. The Great Barrier Reef. Great Barrier Reef. Boom. Teamwork, making dreams work. It took us a while to get there, but we got to everybody. We got there. Stay in school and keep studying, kids. So yes, keep staying in school. Keep studying and keep studying. I mean, that's a lie. I finished school, but here we are.

Here we are. And yet. Exactly. So thinking of things that are also important for education and school, the Met Gala. Yes. That should be a course, you know, because that I mean, we have a day off for that. That is the first Monday in May. It's like it's a holiday. It's a holiday. And we need to make isn't that isn't that already a holiday? Is it?

The first Monday in May? When is it? Labor Day? Memorial Day? no, Labor Day is the first Monday in September. And Memorial Day is the last Monday in May. So we need something for the first Monday and it clearly should be the Met Gama. Clearly. I mean, hello. I'm so excited about this. What are you so excited about? Tell me, tell me, tell me. So I'm excited about the fashion and of course it's supposed to be avant -garde and...

You know, it's supposed to be fun because it has a moon. I love the theme. Avant -garde and ugh. So much you can do with that. And Zendaya, she's a huge part of it this year. I'm super excited. I want to see what she's going to wear. Like, she never disappoints on the normal red carpet, so I cannot wait to see her on the front carpet. It's already over the top when it's like, when everybody's in their like casual evening scrubs.

Right, I wanted her to get in the crubs, right, like, mmm, darling. And she is like, negative. She just like, flowing out in Laurel Road, she's just gliding behind her because he is anointed and he just glides, he just, yes. He's gliding right behind her. Zendaya doesn't walk into the scene. And the hair just flows like, gently, like, it's just flowing, it's like.

Yes, it's like he transcended and he's just another ethereal being behind her. I cannot wait to see what they put together. And there's a kind of like Rihanna. I can't wait to see Rihanna. I know she'll be there. Yes. I'm pretty sure Kim Kardashian will be there. I usually do like her looks. Yeah. I'm really interested to see, you know, what she's going to do there. Do you think that she has decreased in quality, fashion quality since her split with Kanye? No, I think,

No, I don't think so. I actually like her style. And I think Kanye, he still impacts her style to this day, to be honest. He actually helped her. There's the collaborators. I feel like they're still collaborating. And her stylist, her name is Danny. I follow her on Instagram. She's really good for her. And I think she just knows what works for her. So I think she'll be good there. Doja Cat, she's crazy. So I want to see what she's going to do. You don't want to see what ours is. I want to see what she's going to do. Jared Leto.

I wanna see what he's gonna do. Last year he dressed up as Carl Lagerfeld's cat. Like he came like, look at the cat. Doja Cat was the said cat. But I loved he came in the actual suit. He actually came in the suit. And that's why her and him, they took a picture last year. So I love it. I cannot wait to see what she does. Yeah, I mean, I hope Kanye is there and his wife Bianca Sensori. Hopefully her vagina is covered.

That's all we ask. You say garden and this is the garden of life. You would. You would. Don't say twice. Our legs, the garden coming out of our vagina. He totally would. What do you think about the Yeezy porn? We mean like what they do normally when they're walking around or is there actually like porn? Yeah, he's starting a porn, a Yeezy porn site.

It's literally gonna be called Yeezy porn. I'm curious to see how this looks. I actually will look at it because I want to see if it's gonna be like an artistic creation. Yeah, like is there a statement involved? Is it just... Yeah, I want to see. Is it gonna be like the eyes wide shut, you know, kind of deal? Like... You know what I mean? Like... This is like a really deep thriller story happening. Okay, okay. It's gonna have like...

You know, storming lines of these portholes. Like he, well, he was known to have like a, like an addiction. I mean, wasn't he just getting head from her in Venice, like on the boat or something? Yeah. So I'm asking that. I just want to see what, if the camera is going to be good, like the angles. Like, are we talking like, what is it? There's like, yeah, there's different, production companies.

production companies that are like really intentional, very high quality, very like, yeah, just intentional. They have a vision and it's not like trash. I'm going to see. I mean, he's trying to make his life star in it. So I'm curious. Yeah. I'm thinking he's going to buffer. Yeah, like is it, the other question is just going to be him and his wife. Right. Like who? Who's going to be in this? Like should this be safe for OnlyFans or is this going to actually have a whole production company? It's like Ron Jeremy going to be like,

on set like directing because he knows a thing or two. He knows a thing or two. You know Jenna Jamison. He knows about a thing or two. Right. Jenna Jamison giving pointers on set. Reduce your gag reflex, lady. You know. Wait no, she did lesbian porn, right Jenna Jamison? So she wouldn't be telling her about it. she does lesbian porn? I think she was like a straight lesbian porn. Like I think she's married to a man but did lesbian porn. I can understand that. That's respectful. Yeah.

I think I'm not even ready to be okay with that. That's respectful. Yeah. What am I gonna think about to pay these bills? Amen, girl. Do what you gotta do. I'm just saying, because like, my husband wouldn't let me do porn. It ain't nobody's business. It's like, would he be as mad? If it wasn't with a man, you know? I feel like knowing him can't... knowing him. Because I know him. I feel like, no. Good idea, but no. He does have a...

You know, we've talked a little bit about this. It's like, you know, that, that, that, dominance and there's, there's something that's very traditional and men, the idea of dominating multiple women. And so if he were directing his wife and you know what I mean? Like that would be his greatest. He'd be like, yes, this is where I live. Yeah. You know what I can see him doing? I'm telling you, Bianca is probably going to be in those movies quite a few times. Poor Bianca girl.

I can't even. I mean, she used to be a naked anyway. I was like, wasn't that barefoot at Disneyland? I mean, she'll be fine. Yeah, bandages on her feet. What? Like she's fucking in Avatar or something, or like some other ninja stuff. What was she doing? Training? And we didn't know. Well, we don't know. Maybe she was. Maybe she was training. And she's like, you know what? Let's take a break from this. Let's just head over to Disneyland. Yeah, we don't know what we don't know. We don't know what we don't know. I'm looking forward to their...

if they're gonna be in the red carpet at the Met Gala and they're porn. Met Gala and porn. So it kind of works. They kind of work. Leave it to Kanye to marry the two together. Leave it for Kanye. And Taylor Swift, unfortunately, she rejected the invitation for her and Travis. And she did us a favor. No offense, Swiffy, Taylor's cool, but she's not with him. Okay.

Yeah, it's like it's purely you know, there's fashion that can stand alone and then there's fashion that exists as like that is endearing only because you know the person but you have to know the person in order to Understand or appreciate and I feel like that's Taytay. Yeah, like I feel like when you see only her fans when they see her in her fits They're like, yeah, that's Taylor and then they're like, my god

I mean, they like it because it's her, but. Exactly, but alone, like fashion alone. No, Blake Lively needs to step in as her bestie and like style her, find her a stylist because it's not given. It's just, she just, Travis could come without her. I would look forward to see what he's wearing, but she's swagless. You know, I look forward to his outfits, but she looks like she's going to a middle school dance every single time I see her. You know what? And I think she kind of embraces that honestly. She does, and I love that for her. Yeah.

Even when she's at an awards show and she's sitting there dancing like a fool, I love it because I'm like, own your freak flag, girl. I love that. She can keep it up, but I need to get a stylist. I know she can't dance. She knows she can't dance. I'm cool with that. But you can look good. You can look decent. I mean, when she went to the Grammys, I'm like. And she has such a great body. Yeah, she would look great in so many things. When she went to the Grammys, I'm like, did she just roll out of bed, throw that dress on?

It's one of the ponies, whatever the hell she had. No makeup. I want to see her come out there and like, slay one day. Like, I need Pooh Paul or someone to come gather her. Laura Roach would like... Yes. And she's an ally. So she has people in her circle that can immediately get her in contact with somebody. This is a call to arms. Right, like... Somebody needs to kidnap her. Yes, swiftly. Swiftly. Thank you.

I love to know that she's cool, but yeah. I feel that. I feel that. I feel that. I feel that. It's endearing, but if you are... The fashion is so bad. my God, it's sickening. Has my hernia's coming out? Literally sickening. Literally gagging. my God, I think I'm having a reaction. my God. My gosh, just staring up.

Terry, this is crazy. Beyonce, she comes through. She does a lot of ties, but I don't know, she's too busy for us this year. Love, love, love, love, love. You see her in maybe Blue Ivy. It would be interesting. It would be interesting, yeah, because she just had the new album come out. Yeehaw. I mean, it would be cool actually, because Bey and Tay -Tay are really good friends. Bey and Tay. Bey -Tay. Bey and Tay.

B and T. my goodness. So and they since they both had albums come out really close to each other, it would be really cool, especially because I mean, there's just so much you can do with that because she's embracing the whole cowboy aesthetic and Taylor came from country. That's where she came from. It would be really cool if they did like some sort of collaboration up to Taytay's game, you know, fashion game and like.

You know, just seeing Bay and her new evolution of herself as she always, every year is a new evolution of her. We always reinvent ourselves. I can't wait until she goes to the next. But Taylor, please, stop your pussy up. You probably wouldn't want to see this. I mean, it's fine, but please, like, I want so much more for you. Yeah. I do, because I look very social. We want you to be comfortable, but we want you to slay. Right. Because I mean, you see Blake with her and it's like Blake eats it up.

And it's all, poor thing. Poor thing, my god. I'm like, come on, you can do better. You want your children to do better? Yeah. Like, I don't want you to get 70s. I want you to do 90s. I know. We just have to turn in our extra homework assignment, like, on time, and then you can be there. I love that. Like, that's what it's like. Nicki Minaj, you know, she's all about theatrics. I love Nicki Dearly as well. Mm -hmm.

But she deserves more. Like, she deserves to be like at a much higher level than what she is. I think she needs a team surrounding her with that. But I feel like when it comes to the MacGala, I feel like she would have disappointed. I feel like she would be better. Yeah, I want to see her. Yeah, totally. Cardi too. Cardi is good on the carpet. You know, Cardi, she does great. Fashion loves her.

Yes, sorry, Mickey and Harvey. I know I would love for them, you know to reconcile maybe one day and they'll put out such music together Like it will be a fire like it will break. I it would be fire internet. It will break it like

And I'll be there for it. You know, that would be a banger. They don't listen to me. They don't listen to me. They don't know who I am. As much as we do. That's my opinion. That's fine. That's what I want. That's what I want. I'll take a personal one. But I'm just saying. I'm just saying. That's so funny. I'm just saying. I love it. I love it. Yeah, I'm excited. We'll have to review what happens when it happens. You know, I'm going to be watching a lot. And like...

telling the kids don't bother me like. Mommy's at church. Like I'm right. I'm busy. Not now. It's Easter. Right. It's like it's my time. And I'm like is the house burning? No. No. If anybody did. We're all fine. Go ask your father. Right. Even if you've peed. We'll figure it out later. We'll handle that later. It's not in my bed right? No. The only thing I'll stop for someone puked. If there's puke. I'm like you're throwing the bat at the carpet.

Yeah, no, that's gotta be taken care of. Put a towel over it. Or just like sprinkle Clorox. Yeah, and just put a towel over it. And then I'll be back. And that's it. That's what's gonna stop me there. That's fine. That's that. So stop and sprinkle. Yeah, so streaming. What are we streaming? What have we watched? Okay. So I told you, you need to finish Unlocked. I know. How many episodes is it? I wanna say...

I don't even know. Let's see here. It's like eight episodes or it's like a six episode. It's something like that. It's not like 20. Right. It's one of those smaller like limited series kind of deals with eight. There you go. Okay. You had it. Yeah. Eight episodes. So it's worth the watch. There's not as much violence as you might like, but that's good though. So that means it's like, I mean, I guess. If you like violence though, cause you were like, I guess. Yeah.

Maybe that means, you know, the pilot program they were trying to implement is working. So that's good. And you know, even though I do love violence, I'm happy that there wasn't that much because that shows that these people can be rehabilitated and they're not the animals. You know what I mean? That people believe that they are. So it's nice that maybe there's not that much violence. Maybe more like testosterone, like, you know, aggression, tension.

Like I'll be fast on a thing, but I'm gonna kill you. So then okay. Yeah. Yeah. Like they talk shit to each other and everything, but there are, I mean, there are a couple of scenes where it gets a little scary. You know what I mean? But yeah, I agree. I mean, I, when I was a kid, I mean, I was like barely a teenager. I had friends who were convicts, murderers, and you know what I mean? They're just trying to do right by themselves after the fact. And it's really,

It's really tough when you see people who are just very black and white, just very black and white. They're like, well, if you've been in jail, then you're a bad person. Right. Right. And it's like, that's why we have the problem that we have. And the incarceration level in this country is just, you have to humanize the, that community because that population of people is much more significant than anybody would like to admit. So.

Either somebody has had friends or family members in jail. They've been in jail. They know somebody, you know what I mean? Who knows someone. Exactly. It's like two degrees of separation. So yeah, it really is like that's why I really appreciated it because it definitely humanized because it's not like they did it with people who don't have who are like low level offenders. They have people in there. They were calling them caps, right? That they're capital murder. So.

You know, and there's like people who are in there for legit things and all just waiting, sentencing essentially. And some people were in between or they were staying there or whatever. Right. Everyone's in kind of a different situation. So it's very cool. I think it's definitely worth the watch. I have a friend who, she will friend. It's Sark's workout buddy, but I like to think of her as my friend because she's really cool.

So she's a therapist, an incarceration facility. And I mean, it's like, and she's super badass. Like she's strong as hell. You look at her, you're just like, you could kick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Like she knows she's like, that's why I work out so much.

Because actually it was really funny. They didn't, people didn't even know that people I work out with her all the time. They're like, you're a therapist at a prison and she's like, yeah, why do you think I work out all the time? She's like, stay ready so you don't have to be get ready. Like she's going to go. She's like, I'm already all the time. People who work in there, even the guards, they don't have weapons, but they have like a baton. You better be. Listen, I always said I could never do correction or anything like that. Maybe.

It would just be, I need the strap. You know what I mean? But I get why they don't have guns. Cause they can grab the gun, you know, and do - Of course. I get it, but yeah. I think of that story you told me about you when you were a kid and you said they're playing, you were, there was like, you were sitting on the ground or something and a goose came over. yeah. I was at the, I was at a farm called the pumpkin farm. green meadows farm or whatever in Queens.

And I was petting a baby turkey. That's what I was doing. So cute. I was like four. Yeah, so that pictures. Petting a baby turkey. Whatever you call them. I don't know. Turquings. Turquings. I'll be called baby turkey. And then I guess the mother came over there and she pecked me. And I punched that shit square in its beak. I mean, I punched it. I mean, I said bop. It was like a reflex. Like, bitch, like what are you doing? Why would you do that?

I'm being nice and you come and just peck me like, bop. And that's why you can't work at a brewery. And that's why I can't. Bing bong. No, sorry. What'd you say? It's a reason. Bing bong. And that's it. Same thing happened when I was five this time. We were at my mom's friend's house. He had a chihuahua. And no offense to the chihuahua owners, not the long hair chihuahuas because...

those have different temperaments. Those little shorthair things, a little rat from hell, I swear. They were created, they're like little hell hounds or something, I don't know. They were sent by Satan to bite ankles and infuriate fear and destroy. He didn't have one, and that thing ran across the room and bit my ankle. Reflex, dude, we just kicked that thing across the room. It was like the cow who flew over the moon. It was like the nurse who ran on, I punted that bitch.

clear across boy and girl whatever it was I punted that bastard I was like clear across the room I kicked that and I'm a strong kicker I guess I always have been it was a reflex it bit me and I said BOOM POW messy would have been proud I would have fucking aired that shit out like POW I mean I felt bad you know I love animals but it was a reflex running down on me biting me

Run up, get done up, four -legged or two -legged, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're human or not human. Huck around, find out universal law. It's just, that's the time I was on and I don't know if I can ever work as a prisoner, but I salute the folks that do because it's necessary. And they do, they really do like special work because it's so needed. All therapists and like all social workers and you know, people.

that serve underserved populations because those folks are underpaid. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? So yeah, they're they're they're over serving because they don't get enough and their their caseload, you know, is just chronically always. It doesn't matter where you live. You're paying me in peanuts and I'm supposed to what risk my life. Yeah, exactly. I'm supposed to see what I see.

Right. And it's like mentally traumatizing, emotionally traumatizing. It could be physically traumatizing. And you're giving these people $5 an hour. If she wants them to go to school for like 15 years. The math ain't nothing. It doesn't add up. Yeah. So that's where we're at. That's where we're at. Love it. Okay. But you're watching or you watch Late Night with the Devil. It's a show called Late Night with the Devil. We have shuttered in for a movie. It's a movie.

Okay. And you can watch it on Shutter, which is like, it's a streaming platform. I guess you would say the other fire city can download Shutter and watch it that way. my gosh. It was so good. It was just, who was that? Aiden. Hi Aiden. You came downstairs. I asked me to open Play -Doh. Hi Aiden. But don't you have people upstairs that can help you? Yeah. I'm gonna get underwear on. Thank goodness. He's on free -balling. Usually I see little babe walnuts just fucking.

It's like a little gore knocker, like hanging upside down. A little. I look back and I say, nuts. Too much is going to the restroom. Who the hell is this Play -Doh? my goodness. It's playing. Is it? Did it drive? I need to go to the gym apparently. The fuck? I need to be that workout buddy. Fuck the travel. I need to go lift the weights. Who better Play -Doh?

Yeah, sweetie. Good. It works. Love you. Bye. I love that so much. It works. It's like Athena. I'm telling you, I love this family. I love being here. This is great. Great job. That's literally Athena. my God. Good job. You perform it a little. Yeah. Every now and then she shows her true self and I'm like, I saw.

Yeah, I'm like, okay. I don't know if he's being like kind of a sissy, but he's really enthusiastic about it. He's like, I love this family. Good job, mom. And then you have Drew. He's like, everything sucks. This is a balance between those two. It's like night and day. I couldn't handle two of them like that. So I guess it works out. Yeah. You'd be like, where am I? Somebody please extract me from it. I'm like, it's too much father -sign -vity. It's like...

The Care Bears, the fuck bears, I can't deal with it. It's like too much rainbows and sunshine. That's Aiden, he's like rainbows and sunshine. I appreciate it, he gives love, asleep. So, Late Night with the Devil is on shutter. Did I say devil? What did I just say? What did you say? I don't know, I think I had a T .O .A. I think I had a transient ischemic attack just now, I had a mouthful, I don't fucking know. Late Night with the Devil. It's a movie, okay?

Who's in it? Actually, I can't remember his name, but he's one of the guys that was an Ant -Man that was like one of his friends that worked at the security. Yes. Was he the Russian guy or the agent? Him. It was him. Of course you would get your first. Of course you would get your first. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course you would. Naturally, you're like, why am I surprised? Naturally. He's like,

from the motherland. This is cool. I don't think I've seen him in like maybe two or three other things. Not in much. great. He's out there. I was excited to see that I was him. And it's just a great movie. It was like it's about this talk show host. It's set in the 70s. So he's kind of going up and playing Johnny Carson and that kind of deal. And it's sort of late night with the devil. So he has a whole bunch of guests that come up for Halloween. And one of them is actually a girl who plays that she's possessed.

but they had the demon under control and then they asked her to let the demon out, essentially. Great idea. And yeah, and then hell breaks loose. But it was a really good like build up towards it. It was great. The writing was great, the story was great, which is good. Like it's a horror movie. Is it what? Is it funny at all? It is funny and it has some funny humor to it. It's a horror film, but it's not like, like,

gory horror in a sense. I mean, there's some gore there, but it's not like a slasher flick. It's not like, like Evil Dead or something like that. It actually has a plot, has some substance to it. It just happens to be, you know, a horror film, but it's a great watch. I think Rafa would like it too. Yes. Yeah. Rafa's always been into horror movies. yeah. Like we watched Bag Head last night. yeah. How was that? I've never heard of that. I like that. I'm...

Well, we have an unlock fire stick. I don't know where the hell you watch that, but look at that everybody. I don't know where you watch that one. It might be on shutter too. I feel like shutter has a lot of these movies. Shutter platform for horror films, like old. So it's really, really good. But yeah, it was interesting, interesting twist on it. So she inherited this pub from her father and there was like an old witch demon essentially locked in the basement and whoever's name was on the deed.

is the protector and that hurt the witch has to listen to them, but they can't let her out of the basement. And it's like their life, their life mission now is to make sure she never leaves the basement. So once you sign your name on that deed, like that's it. That witch is yours. Basically which is yours. She tried to burn the deed and everything and the fire just extinguished. And it was like very old, like leading back into like the 1500s or something. Right, right, right. But yeah, it was really interesting. And I mean, it didn't have a happy ending. So.

That's brilliant for girl. It is real. They didn't lie to you. You're like, this is my kind of movie. You're like, well damn, that escalated quickly. snap. So yeah, it was really good. I love it. Okay. Late Night With The Devil and Bag Head. Late Night With The Devil is on Shudder and I believe Bag Head is too. A creep. Damn T -Boz. A creep. Girl I love TLC.

Were you ever, did you ever have your trio, like your friends, and then each one of you take on a person? yes, yeah. Who were you? Absolutely. Who was I with TLC? I probably shouldn't have been left eye. But Out of yourself. I was left eye or chilly. T -Bone was cool, but I vibe with like left eye. I was T -Bone. I was okay. I even had the bob. See? Like that really. I love chilies.

So it's like, I love Chilly's hair, but I love like, left eye's attitude. So it worked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, who had the best outfits? So I like based it up with that. And that was Chilly. And that was Chilly. That was Chilly. See, I love T -Baz's style. I did. T -Baz's style. But that's because I'm me. And I love Chilly. Like I said, I probably should have been left eye because, you know. Because you would burn someone's house down. If they were beating your ass, you'd be like.

Now I'm burning your house down. I'm a very reactive person. You want funny? I get hilarious. I'm dabbling. And my husband says, he's like, you know what, if he's an adult, he would never hit a woman. He was like, see, but if I was that type and I hit you, we'd be fighting to the death. Yeah, because he knows I'm going to have to kill you.

You won't stop like you will not stop coming like I'm gonna have to try to kill you like he said one of us will not make it out of that fight He said one of us would not make it out he said I don't know which one that might be because it might be you It might be you he's like, but if I hit you we're fighting to the death He would never hit someone for a specific is your death certificate is gonna get signed

It's gonna be like slow singing and flower bringing somebody's not making it out that house alive. Like you said, self awareness is awesome. He's like, he's like a gentle giant, but he's like, he has like all these tattoos, he's like the gauges and he can probably look imposing, but he is like the most like laid back. Just very non confrontational. Just. Yeah. You and your husband are like me and my husband, but.

So like people see us together and I'm sure we look like freaking, we're from two planets, from two different planets. And it's like, how are you, cause he looks like so cis male, it's like not even funny. I know what you mean. He's like strong and he's just, and he's Russian and it's like, you know, and he's not, and he's a Capricorn and it's just like this energy of just like groundedness. And then you see me and I'm like, hey.

This is interesting dynamic, you know, literally, literally, but it works. Yeah. You got to be in my angle for it. So he's just so nice. And like you wouldn't think like.

He seems like kind of stoic, you know what I mean? He could have been Russian in the past life, I don't know. But it's like, he, you know, but he's just like the opposite. But you're the crazy one and you guys balance each other out. Yeah, it's like the balance. I kind of make him a little bit more spontaneous, so to speak. And then he kind of reels me in like, we're not doing that. And then every now and then you give him permission to have fun.

Right. And it's like for me, I'm like, I want to run him over with the car. He's like, you shouldn't do that. And he's kind of like, well, you shouldn't run people over with cars. He'll talk you down. He's the guy like, hey, you're going above the speed limit.

I'm like, he drives, I'm a drive. I'm like, I'm a drive my friend. And he's like, you know what the cost of your is for you. You know, you know, I don't care. I understand. And I'm like, okay, I'm like, yes, honey, my desk is here. You know, but he's the beloved. He's like the turtle and what is that? Vina Nemo. So it's chill.

nice. Yeah dude. I was like whoa. Whoa. He's daddy through and through. yeah he's dad. He's a beazel. I'm surprised he doesn't have like the catkin cargo shorts and nobody knew he found his dad's sneakers. Because that's how he acts like. He could pull it off. He needs it. That's him. There's nothing that looks cuter than a reformed dad. He might as well just like wear those white new balances.

with khaki shorts and get a polo shirt and tuck it in and a visor and be like, let's go guys. Let's go guys. That says dance dad or like cheered dad. That's how he would act. But he would never, the thing is he's just so like cool though. Like that's him on the inside, but by looking at him, you would never know. Like that was him, but he's like a total dad. I love that. That's awesome. That's so cool. Well, this was fun. And that's it.

Ollie with the hands. Yeah, that's who we are. All right, let's go snatch our wigs off. I know what you already snatched. It must feel so good. Just girl is so good. You lying down. It's like, do you have short hair underneath? No, it's braided. It's braided. I look like Queen Latifah from Set it Off. I know my friend. Stop. Say that. What's her name? Cleo. Girl.

I know. We're still not over that death. I know. Same. It's like when Mufasa died, still not over it. Exactly. Too soon. My hair is like here. It's just, I hate doing it. So I have to bring it. It's a lot. I mean, and then going to sleep with the babies, like I just, or like just even napping or whatever. It's like, or just holding them and they're like, can you? The hats and hair. That's me right now.

I love it. I love it. When I shaved it, I saw like actual like gaps. It was like, my God, my hair is legit. Like it really fell out and clumped like that. It really was. It really was. Yeah. How did the girls react? They loved it. It was like, who is it? Enemy. She literally, she does this thing where she's like, yeah.

Okay. Enemy or friend? Enemy or friend, right? And then Athena was like, wow. She's like, she's like, always sounds like she's flirting. She's like, that's a Libra. Yeah. God save us all. I was like, do you like it? Yeah. And she goes, mommy, can I have more milk? And she just went around and I was like, why can't I love it? I'm going to keep going about my day. What did Rafa say?

And Rafa was the cutest. He said, okay. He was like, well, he was very scared. He was like, I don't think dad meant that he was okay with it. I think he's just calling your bluff. I don't know. I'm just really scared. I'm just really scared. And I was like, you know what you're doing? You're just encouraging me. You're inspiring me to do it because this feeling that you have. He's like, fuck.

I totally meant what I was saying. I did not mean no, you're not listening. You're not thinking about the cues I'm giving you. And I said, look, there is so much in our life that we think is high risk, simply because we don't know what it's like to be without it or to do that thing. And when it's only once you do it that you realize this is not a big deal at all.

I was like, I want you to hold on to this feeling because in a week you're gonna be like, my God, that was so not a big deal. I'm like, it's literally hair. It grows back. It's literally hair. Think about what in your life you feel like is so high risk and you couldn't imagine a change or a difference or whatever. Guess what? It's just hair. It's hair.

They are the bigger thing. Don't cut it. And then you did it. I had a client who literally said, I'm going to put she literally was like, how much in my life is just hair? Like the freak out effect. I was like, I love it. See? Yes. Now you're starting to trend. Last time I was going to shave their head. I know. Right. I'm trying to do it. Unless you're Brittany. And then that's your Brittany. Girl, I love that thing. It was like.

Have the confidence of Brittany on the internet. I want that. Yeah. And on that note, mic drop. We love you, Brittany. I'm going to get to these children. All right. Have fun. Tell your husband I said thank you. I will. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye

Gooped and gagged

You were just listening to the Goop'd and Gag'd podcast with Vanessa and Pilar. And you just heard I'm Trying by our girl, Reyna Brito. You can find her on Spotify and the album from which that song came from on the record. Check her out and we'll see you next week.