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Balancing Act: Life and Struggles of a Teenage Girl is a down-to-earth mental health and wellness podcast created for teens, by a teen.
Hosted by Moorea, a teenage girl, the show features open and unfiltered conversations with guests, sharing relatable stories and expert advice that validate your experiences while offering practical tips for navigating the (often) treacherous seas of teen girl life.
Moorea is committed to asking the tough questions on teen life we’re all thinking but are too scared to voice. On this podcast, Moorea also shares her journey with mental health and teen life to destigmatize and normalize the experiences that come with being a teenage girl.
Tune in to Balancing Act: Life and Struggles of a Teenage Girl to learn how to better navigate your:
- Friendships
- Mental Health
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Body image
- Eating Disorders
- Romantic Relationships
- Crushes
- Menstrual Cycle
- Social Media
- Nutrition
- Exercise
- Sexuality
- Parental Relationships
- And so much more!
Hello and welcome to Balancing Act,
life and struggles of a teenage girl.
A mental health and wellness
and semi unfiltered podcast
made for teens by a teen.
I'm your host, Moraya, a 16
year old girl from New York.
And here on Balancing Act, I bring
you weekly episodes featuring
relatable conversations, personal
stories, and practical insights to
help you navigate life's balancing
act and related challenges.
And to remind you that you are not alone.
Hello, and welcome to this
episode of balancing act.
So, do you ever feel like your
life is just kind of cluttered?
Like your room might be turning
into a bit of a tornado zone?
Your schedule is jam packed and your
mind just kind of feels like it's going
to burst from all the thoughts and
feelings that are zooming around in there.
Well, if you ever even felt slightly,
like your life is getting too
overwhelming with just the amount of
stuff that's around you and in your mind.
This is a great episode for you.
So in this episode, I'm speaking
with Susie bow, tall and ADHD coach
and decluttering expert who helps
people to declutter their lives?
And like I mentioned before this
clutter, isn't just physical.
It's also emotional and mental.
And in this episode, we
cover how to declutter.
Physically, emotionally and
mentally so that you can have
some space to like live your life.
And we also cover procrastination
and how to let go of perfectionism.
To help you live a more clutter-free
life again, emotionally,
mentally, and physically.
Susie shares some really great
insights that really caused
me to reflect on my own life.
So I promise it's worth sticking around.
To discover how a pizza analogy can
have you rethinking perfectionism.
So let's get into the episode.
moorea: I'm so happy to have
you Susie on the podcast today.
susie: Yeah, thanks for having me.
I'm excited to be here.
moorea: Of course.
So as I mentioned in the little
introduction thing, the clutter
in our lives, as I've learned from
you through talking to you before,
is that it's not just physical,
it's also mental and emotional.
And all this clutter is interconnected.
So what is the connection
between all of this?
There's like different types
of clutter in our lives.
susie: Yeah, so I guess I
could start with the definition
of what clutter means to me.
So it's basically anything that's
stopping you or getting in the way
of you being you and you doing the
things you want to do in your life.
It could be physical, it could be too
much stuff, literally, around you, you
can't find things, you buy more things
because you forgot what you already had.
But, like you say, it could
also be mental, so it could be,
overwhelm other people's energy.
Opinions, when things build up mentally,
getting in the way of your thought
patterns and things, and also emotionally.
So if you have events that have happened
and emotions that you haven't quite
processed, or you're confused about how
you feel about certain things, kind of
all creates that clutter, which stops
you doing the things you want to do.
moorea: Wow.
And to like, The clutter, I know, it can
be so overwhelming like, to have physical,
emotional, or mental clutter, and I know
that, when my rooms cluttered, it makes
me feel overwhelmed and everything, so is
there an interconnection between mental
clutter and physical clutter and can you,
declutter one thing and then have that
help you to declutter another aspect
of mental, emotional, physical clutter?
susie: Yeah, so they're absolutely linked.
So as you described if your room's a
mess, or too much stuff everywhere, it
really impacts that clarity of thinking.
And then I guess if we're also
stuck with certain emotions, and
that can impact in our thought
processes, and we might choose to.
Keep more stuff around us
because it feels safer and we
don't want to part with things.
So yeah, so interconnected like
We're just one person, aren't we?
So all of these things affect each other.
And I think that's a good point that you
made about if you clear physical space,
it can feel quite cathartic and it helps
us make sense of our thoughts as well.
And also if you're feeling overwhelmed,
starting with a simpler, more
physical task can then also help.
Sometimes people feel more drawn
to one sort of clutter that they
kind of experience, but generally
there's things in all three.
And I guess where you start depends
on what feels easiest or perhaps
what's having the biggest impact.
So yeah, triangle of stuff.
moorea: Yeah.
And so if you decide that this clutter is
making me feel overwhelmed and then you
want to go about like decluttering, how
would you do that for each aspect of your
physical, emotional and mental clutter?
susie: Yeah.
So I guess the first thing to
do is think about what your
reason is for decluttering.
So it's like one of those jobs, like
cleaning, like it's not usually that
we declutter or we clean because
we want to be doing the task.
It's what we're going
to get from doing it.
So let's take the physical side of things.
For example, you might decide that
you've just had enough of falling
over things or not having people
over to your house or losing things.
And you just think enough's enough.
I need to clear this stuff.
So I guess, yeah, first of all, find
your reason for doing it because
that will be the thing that keeps
you going and gives you a purpose.
So you're not just then
moving stuff around.
With mental clutter, it's very similar.
So again, finding the purpose.
So you might feel like, or I could do
better at school or work if I had less.
In my head, or perhaps you want to
do a podcast, write a book, start a
business, like whatever is your goals.
Think about what is it that
you want a clearer mind for?
What are you going to achieve?
And then with emotional it's probably,
I like to say to people to create that
to feel list instead of a to do list.
So if you're in a situation where
you can't really like tap into your
emotions, so perhaps you're at school
or you're out or with company perhaps,
and it's not really the right time to
go a bit deeper, but make a list of
those feelings that come up sometimes.
So it may be that somebody says
something or you're watching a TV
show and you maybe feel something
that you weren't quite expecting.
So make a list of those to come back to,
because they'll give you some clues as
to what emotions might be a bit stuck.
And then just start where you can.
So whether it's journaling.
Whether it's just meditating or just
spending that quiet time by yourself
and just see what feelings come up,
that can be quite useful as well.
So yeah, different strategies,
moorea: yeah.
Wow.
I guess it's so important just to let
yourself feel those emotions or just see
what comes up when you're like trying to.
declutter for me, when it comes to
like decluttering at least physically,
I know for me like, the clutter in my
room just fluctuates like crazy I'll
start off the week and I'll be like,
wow, my room is like so neat, I have
everything where it's supposed to be.
And then as the week continues and I
have school and I'm feeling overwhelmed
and the laundry gets done, the
laundry gets piled all over my room.
When I'm leaving for school, I can't
figure out what I want to wear.
So my clothes are just
thrown all over the place.
And so my room looks good Sunday night.
And then by Wednesday, it's
just like tornado zone.
So how would you recommend?
In terms of both physical but then
also emotional and mental clutter.
How can we make it like stay consistent,
how can we declutter for good and not
just temporarily where like we make
everything neat and perfect, but then
after three days it becomes chaotic again.
susie: Yeah, it's interesting, isn't it?
It's almost like it's your
reflection of your state of mind.
So you have that kind of weekend reset,
maybe tidy up, chill out, spend some time.
And then as the week ramps up.
So does the chaos and the clutter.
But yeah, you're right.
It's one of those.
Jobs, which I call like a cyclical job.
So it's never really done, but I guess
your question is how can we make it easier
so that we don't have chaos by Wednesday?
It's more okay, we can see we've
been living, but it still feels okay.
And then I guess that would also
eliminate the need for that kind of
great big weekend reset, which I'm not
really a fan of because I feel like.
We don't want to spend the whole week
getting out of alignment to then have
to spend so much time Resetting we
want more of a gentle fluctuation,
I suppose so the first thing I would
say is probably just have less.
So whether it's less clothes to choose
from, less stuff, less thoughts,
which I guess isn't easy to say, but
maybe it's about fewer priorities,
like focus on a few things at once.
So maybe school or work and
like the top ones in the week.
And if there are other things
you want to do or bring into your
life, be conscious that they will
bring more clutter more thoughts
and more stuff around those things.
So yeah, it's just being quite mindful,
I suppose, about what you allow in.
if you're in a position where you have
a lot of stuff, a lot of thoughts, a lot
of feelings, You could start with either
bringing less in, so by simplifying,
maybe shopping, or the things you
do, or the people you hang out with.
Or you could think about getting
rid of what you already have
first, so not trying to tackle
both ends of it at the same time.
So maybe it's giving stuff
away, or selling stuff, or
minimizing your commitments.
Things like that.
moorea: I've tried at least in
terms of like physical clutter.
I've tried to get rid of stuff
I don't know if i'll share
this video, but here's my room.
This is what I've my pile of things
that like are going for donations but
still have not gotten rid of them.
Anyway I know that for teenagers,
when it comes to like, decluttering
things and getting rid of things and
lowering your commitments, it can be
really hard because, I think a lot
of teenagers around me are feeling.
Super stressed about college
and want to do everything to
get into the top schools,
what?
strategies would you recommend to
teenagers who feel like they have a
lot of clutter in their lives, but
they're not really like sure what to
cut out to help them to just declutter?
susie: I probably use the
concept of glass balls.
So I don't know if you're familiar
with that term of where people feel
like they're juggling so many things
and something's gonna So identifying
which of the balls you're juggling are
glass, as in you just can't drop them.
So maybe that's health and school.
And then think about
which ones are plastic.
So for instance, maybe if
you were not able to attend a
dinner or, something like that.
Maybe on the day it feels hard and
you don't want to say no, you want
to go, but actually if you missed
it, maybe it's not quite as crucial.
So identifying what things in your life
is super critical to get right and to keep
on track with and which things you can
maybe relax a bit or say no sometimes.
So once you've got your specifics,
think about then what is actually.
In your control and what isn't because
actually at the end of the day, the
only things we can control are our
thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
So yeah, it's important to do well at
college and school and get the best grades
and you've got aspirations and it's really
important that you're focused on those
things, but you can only do so much.
And at the end of the day, it
will be someone else perhaps
that makes that decision.
If there's lots of other students that
past their test with higher scores
or whatever it is that might prevent
you from going where you want to go.
Those things are just not
something you can control.
So definitely focusing on what you can do.
So whether it's making sure you
go to bed on time, making sure
you eat well, get some fresh air,
making sure you have a balance.
So yes, you must study and learn
everything, but also Protect your mental
health, make sure you do spend that time
with your friends because that will help
you decompress make sure your space, yeah,
if you want it to be less cluttered and
more spacious, that's great, but don't
make that be something that overtakes.
health or overtakes,
schoolwork or something.
So it sounds boring, doesn't it?
Kind of control and balance, but just
make sure you're focusing, on the right
things that you can actually control.
And we spend a lot of time focusing
on things we can't control, which
then means sometimes we miss the
things that we can, like bedtime
moorea: Yeah.
I mean, We can only control so much as
teenagers and I'm still trying to, get
used to that fact that, I'm a teenager,
can't control everything in my life.
It's upsetting sometimes.
But it's also just the reality.
And so another thing that comes
along with like school and clutter
and overwhelm is like schoolwork and
actually getting around to doing it.
Like procrastinating so much that you're
now like cramming to finish an essay at
10 o'clock and it's due in two hours.
So in terms of procrastination
in teenagers and how clutter gets
in the way of us doing things.
What is procrastination
and what causes it?
susie: Yeah, procrastination's
a really big topic.
And it always makes me smile when somebody
kind of identifies as a procrastinator
because I feel like we all have that
ability, but it is quite nuanced and it's
quite different for different people.
We sometimes procrastinate because
we don't know where to start.
Yeah.
We can procrastinate because we
don't know where the goal is.
We can procrastinate because it feels
too big and we're not sure whether
we're actually going to achieve it.
The steps are unclear.
So we know where to start
maybe, but then what?
So that can be really off putting.
We can also procrastinate over
things that are just boring, or we
have no interest in the task, or if
something else, becomes more appealing.
So I think it's important if you get the
sense that you're putting something off
or not thinking about something that you
know is good for you to think about, then
try and work out what is behind that.
Is there a feeling, are you, fearful
of failure or you fearful of success
maybe or is it that you just really
don't know where to start and what
you're actually going to be doing?
moorea: Yeah.
I know at least for me, I am
very fearful of things not being
perfect if I try them, right?
So then I'm afraid to try and
I don't want to get started
because of that fear of failure.
So then what, right?
strategies or advice would you
give to people who are afraid to
start things because they're afraid
of the outcome of them trying it?
susie: Yeah, that's a really common one.
I think it's about first of all,
acknowledging that you're not doing
something because you feel like
it's never going to be perfect.
Or, thinking about all those negative
things get that out because it's
important to at least have those.
Thoughts and ideas out of your mind.
So I don't mean forgotten, I just
mean like verbalized perhaps, or
even in a journal kind of writing
a bit about what's the feelings.
What's going on for you?
And then think perhaps that
actually doing nothing might
be worse than doing something.
If you think about an essay
that you have, perhaps if you do
nothing, you're going to get zero.
Okay?
If you spend five minutes,
maybe you'll get one point.
So it's breaking it down to think like
I can't control the outcome, I can't
control what mark I get, all I can
do is influence as much as I can to
get the biggest score that I can and
knowing that actually putting in half
an hour's effort Is going to at least
get you started or get you somewhere.
So it's recognizing that something
is better than nothing, which I know
for like someone with perfectionism
tendencies is really hard because you
don't see the value necessarily in
something it's got to be all or nothing.
So helping yourself to get over
that hurdle can be helpful.
And also think about.
So I guess if the essay or the piece of
work feels difficult, or you feel like I'm
not going to get it perfect, think about
what that's contributing to, and then
make that bigger goal be, The scarier one.
So you think, okay I'm going to do this
essay because I want to pass this course.
And then I'm going to do this at college
or whatever that kind of journey is.
And then really focus your
feelings on that end goal.
And then when you come back then to
thinking about the essay, it almost feels
like a much smaller stepping stone because
you've channeled a lot of that kind
of anxious excitement, whatever you've
got for the end goal into the end goal.
So then those smaller steps feel less.
Big or challenging at the time.
Does that make sense?
moorea: Yeah, I never thought of that
before, but it makes so much sense because
I feel like what stops a lot of people
is like perfectionism and you look at
this one thing you have to do and you're
like, this is the end all be all, this
is the biggest thing in my life, and
then you just make it such a big deal in
your mind that you just become paralyzed
and you're afraid to start it because
this essay turns into this big monster
that you have to conquer and you just
don't want to go out there and fight it.
But like you're saying, if you channel
all that anxious energy to something
else, It forces your mind not to turn
that one little task into the end of
the world, and then you can approach
it in a way where you're not so worked
up, where you're not obsessing over
it, and then you can just conquer it
without, like, all those mental barriers.
So that makes so much sense, and
I never thought of it before.
susie: I'm glad.
There's also an analogy I
use which might be helpful.
it's about pizza, but you
can relate it to anything.
So if you think about a pizza,
there is so many varieties.
So you could have one that's a really
cheap frozen one that you can just
put in the oven or at the other end
of the scale, you could make like
homemade dough, homemade sauce, that
you could take hours over this pizza.
And actually, when you look at.
spectrum, you think, Oh obviously
the best ones are the ones where
you spend the hours over and
it's the flavors and everything.
But actually imagine if you've been
on a trip and you come home and it's,
eight, nine o'clock in the evening,
you're so tired, you're hungry.
The best thing at that moment is a pizza
that you can put in the oven 15 minutes.
Done and eat because the goal in
that situation is just to feed
yourself and maybe go to bed.
So even though a wonderfully crafted
like essay or pizza or whatever it is
feels like of course that must be the
perfection that i'm aiming for actually
in some situations The need isn't for the
best flavor, the best detail, whatever
it is, the need is actually more survival
than just, I just need to eat something.
So I guess also when you
approach a piece of work, think
about what's the point of it?
What is your objective?
Is it to write the next groundbreaking
thing that's going to be published
all over the world, or is it just to
get through that next module school?
And just, yeah, that's good enough.
I scored this I've passed or whatever
you're aiming for and move on.
So that might help as well.
moorea: Wow.
I've been told like, not everything has
to be the next masterpiece and stuff like
that But I love that analogy because it
really makes me think about it because I
mean I struggle with the idea of like just
good enough and I know that other people
struggle with the idea of like good enough
and I want to make everything perfect,
but then I guess sometimes the most
perfect thing for the situation is just
making it good enough so that you save
your energy, you eat the frozen pizza,
you go to bed, and then you can then
put that energy into crafting your next
amazing pizza when it actually matters.
So I guess that's it.
Sometimes the best, most perfect thing
to do is just to have it be good enough.
susie: Yeah, just get it done.
moorea: Yeah, that, wow, I think that
just it's going to take a lot of work,
but I think that analogy is like the
first step for me, I guess, and to really
trying to be okay with good enough,
susie: and working out what that
looks like for that situation.
So if you have got six months to do
a project, you can break that time
down, you can do loads of research,
you can really your time in it.
But if you've got a deadline
next week, And actually, you
know, you can pass and move on.
The best thing in that moment
is to pass and move on.
It, it's not to do hours of research in
the library and things, because you've
got other things that you need to do.
So it's working out in that moment.
What is the goal?
what is perfect for
that specific situation?
And maybe perfection looks
different in different situations.
moorea: that's just a really good
point and I'm gonna I'm gonna write
that down and keep that with me and
plug it into the solo episode I'm
releasing this week where I go over
the best tips that I've gotten so far.
So that's gonna be in there.
So before we wrap up, is there anything
that we haven't touched on in this
episode that you think would be really
important for teenagers who want to learn
how to better declutter their lives?
susie: I think the biggest thing
is to have compassion for yourself.
So I think however cluttered you
feel, however you feel like life
is in a mess, physically, mentally,
emotionally, just have compassion for
yourself and know that it's still there.
not your fault, and it's not a reflection
of your self worth, and clutter is not
a moral issue it's just a reflection,
I guess, of what's happened in life.
go easy on yourselves, be kind to
yourselves, and, Always be looking
for the bigger purpose of what you
bring to the world, and, keep going.
moorea: I think that's
a really good point.
We just have to be a little bit more
passionate because sometimes with
schoolwork and all these other things,
we can't control how that clutter is
coming into our lives because it's
just like a fact of being a teenager.
susie: Yeah.
just a fact of life.
moorea: Yeah.
And so if people want to learn
more about the work that you're
doing, or if they want to connect
with you, where should they go?
susie: So you can follow me
on Facebook or Instagram.
It's just at a space for living.
I also have a Facebook group.
So I do share daily.
tips and things and get people
to talk about their clutter
goals and things like that.
So that's a free group also
called a space for living.
And then I have a website.
If anyone wants to reach
out, have a conversation.
And again, that's a space for living.
Dot co dot UK.
So yeah, it'd be lovely
to hear from anyone.
moorea: And I will definitely
link that all in the description.
And I absolutely love that name, like a
space for living because you declutter and
then you actually get to live your life
without all these things just in your way.
So then just before we wrap up, there
is one question that I like to ask
everyone who comes on the podcast, which
is if you had one piece of advice for
your teenage self, what would it be?
susie: Oh my goodness, okay.
I think it would just be like, just keep
listening to your, gut instinct, trust
yourself, because it's really hard I
think as a teenager to know who to listen
to, to know what to do, to watch your
life unfurl, and trust that things will
be okay, and that you're, And because
everything feels so much more intense,
I think like relationships and school
and everything feels really full on.
So I think, yeah, just.
Trust yourself, listen to yourself, deep
inside what you feel about a situation
is probably a really good guide.
and life does get easier, I think.
Things settle and you'll
find your own way.
Just, hold on to yourself,
would be their phrase.
moorea: Yeah, I love that so much.
Thank you so much for
coming on the podcast today.
This has been a blast.
A lot of the stuff you shared has
honestly like really caused me to think
a lot and I'm sure that those insights
will help listeners to also think a
lot and to maybe shift their mindset on
perfectionism and needing everything to
be 100 percent perfect all the time and
actually redefining what is perfect.
So thank you so much for
coming on the podcast.
susie: Thank you for having me.
No, it's been lovely to chat to you.
Thank you.
Thank you for tuning into
this episode of balancing act.
So here are my key takeaways from the
conversation with Susie starting off.
It's so important to realize that
clutter is not just physical.
But it's also emotional and mental.
But physical clutter can be a
reflection of your state of mind.
And all this clutter is interconnected
and it's all influencing.
All the other clutter.
My second key takeaway is that it's
so important to strive for balance
and to not let the clutter build up
and then try to get rid of it all.
Only for it to build up again.
And sometimes decluttering is
about making educated choices.
To cut out things in your life.
That.
Maybe just cluttering your life.
So that you can have space to live.
And so that, that clutter doesn't just.
build up over time.
Because the fact is as humans, we only
have so much time and space and our lives.
So it's really important to figure out.
What is important to us to figure
out what our glass balls are.
And to really prioritize those So that we
can take care of all of our priorities.
Without overwhelming ourselves
with unnecessary things.
And then the next big takeaway for me was
around procrastination and perfectionism.
And how fear can cause
you to procrastinate and
cause those mental blocks.
And so you have to
address the perfectionism.
And the root cause of the
procrastination and then declutter
and get rid of that to move forward.
And realize that.
Sometimes something is
better than nothing.
And perfectionist thoughts are clutter.
Stopping you from
achieving that something.
And another thing that really
stuck with me around perfectionism
and procrastination was this
idea of pursuing the end goals.
So they don't get caught up in like
all the fear of the individual steps.
Because I know that can be
paralyzing for some people.
Including myself.
And then adding onto
like this perfectionist.
Procrastination.
The idea of redefining perfection
with the pizza analogy.
And realizing that sometimes the perfect
thing to do is to not be perfect.
I know that for a perfectionist, I can
be kind of hard to grasp sometimes.
And seemed like, you know, that
sounds great in theory, but
when push comes to shove, can I
really accept not being perfect?
And so.
I guess that's just something that.
You have to keep in mind.
And that.
You have to continue to
work towards, because.
I know it's hard to realize
sometimes, but you just have to have
compassion for yourself at the end
of the day, like Susie was saying.
And I think that is.
Probably the most key thing.
You can't declutter anything without
having compassion for yourself.
So that always has to come first.
Thanks for listening to this
episode of Balancing Act, Life
and Struggles of a Teenage Girl.
If this episode resonated with you or
if you know someone that could help,
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Because that would really be invaluable.
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Thanks again for taking
the time to listen.
I hope you have an amazing rest of your
day and remember, life's a balancing
act and sometimes you're gonna fall
on your face, but you're not alone.