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Welcome to Flip the Script with Vic, your weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective. I’m your host, Victoria Nielsen. Together, we’ll unwind all the things you thought you knew, and awaken to what’s truly possible when you flip the script on your reality and take control of your own life.
Speaker A [00:00:00]:
Hello, my loves. Welcome to another episode of Flip the script with Vic. It's your host, Victoria Nielsen. I'm super excited to be here with you guys today. I tried recording this podcast earlier, and I just felt stuck and the energy didn't feel right. And it's funny because, of course, it ties to the topic of today's podcast, which I really wanted to talk about, this idea of efforting. And I know that's, like, not really a word, but it's this idea that you're. You're putting a lot of effort into something, but with the wrong energy.
Speaker A [00:00:38]:
So I'm all for hard work. I fully believe that we have to go after our dreams and we have to actually take action, right, with the intuitive nudges that come from the universe. But when we're taking that action from a place of ego rather than a place of heart, that is what I term efforting, where you're potentially using the pressure, right of society or people pleasing or just feeling like you should do something or that you have to do something, and you're the one that puts, like, a time constraint on yourself, or you're the one that is putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do this thing and to do it a certain way. And so I have been very guilty of that as part of my spiritual entrepreneurship journey. You know, when I had my spiritual awakening in 2019, I really never thought that I would have a spiritual business or anything like that. But as I have learned and healed and grown it just naturally I want to help other people. And I feel like that is what happens to a lot of other spiritual entrepreneurs, too. But then we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to then make this thing potentially our career.
Speaker A [00:01:59]:
And we go all in on, oh, we have to leave the corporate job and we have to do it this way. And, oh, there's a path that's been carved by someone else, and this is how it looks. So I need to do it the exact way that they did it. And then we get frustrated when that doesn't work or it's not financially viable yet, or it just is hard, and it's because of all of the efforting that we're doing to make it happen. You know, I had my first business spirit, mama's, which is still sort of around, but we've kind of disbanded and are doing our own separate things. But that was my first, like, business, baby, and it was started during the middle of COVID So there was no boundary between, like, like, business time, family time, when I was having a spiritual awakening like it was all just jumbled together and it meant that there was no delineation, no demarcation line to say, hey, this is time for me, or this is spiritual time that I need to heal and uncover, but it doesn't need to be exploited or turned into anything for the business. And I don't know about you all listening, but I feel like anyone that is a newbie, spiritual entrepreneur probably feels this pressure. And if you joined any type of, like, business container, mastermind container, anything like that with other spiritual entrepreneurs, I feel like the pressure is even higher.
Speaker A [00:03:32]:
I love those containers. I am part of many masterminds and speak very highly of them. But I think there is a double edged sword and kind of a negative side to them sometimes because you're surrounded by all these other people, most likely women, that have a very similar dream to you. And if you are not completely healed, which, I mean, no one is right, you're going to get triggered by someone else's success, or you're going to see the way that someone else does something, and then you're going to want to emulate it. And there's nothing wrong with that at all. But you need to realize that what's going to work for you is only going to work for you because of your magic and your unique essence. And so unless you're taking their formula and putting your specific spin on it, it's unrealistic to think that you're going to have the exact same results or do something the exact same way that they did, because they have a completely different energy than you. And so you are almost setting yourself up for failure because it's not going to turn out the way that it turned out for them.
Speaker A [00:04:35]:
And when you're in those type of mastermind containers, it can be really exaggerated, exacerbated, because again, you're surrounded by amazing, like minded women that have similar dreams or want to go after similar things. And it can get really easy to get sucked in, right. To maybe some of the made up rules of success or the made up rules of how other people do it. And, you know, I think we just have to be aware of that and we have to catch ourselves in our own energy and say, why am I trying to move this forward? Or why do I feel like I have to do this right this second? You know, I think as an entrepreneur, that's been really hard for me of like, I have a creative idea and I want to, like, make action on it right away and do all the things that need to happen to make it come to fruition, but that actually is to my detriment sometimes because the idea perhaps isn't ready actually to be out in the world just yet, or there are things that still need to, like, incubate, or I still need to heal some things before this program or this container or this thing actually will be as potent as it's meant to be for the world. And you gotta slow down for that to happen. You have to quit the efforting and instead work with the flow and the energy of your business, but also your life. You know, I've talked about, I think it was a couple podcasts ago that the season of life I'm in right now is a busy season. It's summer, the kids are out of school, so I'm not able to get as much done as I would really like.
Speaker A [00:06:14]:
And it can be frustrating. But then I have to say, okay, am I, am I efforting because I feel like I have to do something, I have to produce a bottom line, or am I doing this because I'm enjoying it and because I really want to? And, you know, that brings me back to kind of this all or nothing point that can happen sometimes, especially as like a new spiritual entrepreneur. You get so excited, you know, this is what you're meant to do. You know, that you don't want perhaps your corporate job anymore or whatever job that you're currently holding, and you want to do this, this healing and amazing work full time. There is a middle ground that I don't think people talk about enough because you get sucked in and you feel like, I've got to make this successful. I've got to replace my full time job with this thing. And yes, that is a potential path, right? And of course, a dream that I personally have. But I've had to come to terms with the fact that it takes time and for it to be built in the right way with the correct foundation, the correct energy to attract the right people to my programs and to my containers and my circles and all of the things that I host.
Speaker A [00:07:28]:
It's gotta be the right energy. And that energy is not efforting energy. That efforting energy, to me, feels like the girl that thinks that she's not enough, that emits this, like, pick me, pick me energy. It's very needy, it's very lack and very scarcity mindset. And again, I know because I have been that girl and continue to be that girl occasionally, right, when I slip into that energy and it's a wounded energy, it's an energy of lack of. I am not enough or I don't have enough. And so I, I feel like I need to prove myself right with the amount of things that I am producing, perhaps, or the amount of things that I am creating. And that is honestly the exact opposite energy of nature and of true creation energy.
Speaker A [00:08:20]:
That energy flows when it wants to, and it can be really potent when it's beautifully harnessed. But when you try and force it because you feel like you have to produce or you set an arbitrary deadline, that energy is felt by the people that are on the receiving end. And then you wonder why the program didn't sell or no one signed up for your women's circle or you're not able to get any eyeballs on this thing that you are really excited about. Oh, my God. That really reminds me of the very first program I ever put together. So Spirit mom was launched mid 2020, mid pandemic, all virtual. My business partner and I did everything, virtually, like, absolutely everything. We tried to take a photo shoot for this program in my backyard.
Speaker A [00:09:12]:
This was back when, like, you still had to keep, you know, like 6ft apart or whatever the original thing was. And so we, like across the yard are trying to take pictures to portray this program we had that we called reclaim your magic. And the premise of it is still is amazing. And I still think it was a good idea, but the way that we put it together made the energy kind of icky. So, you know, we worked with what we could in the sense of photography and of branding for the program because we couldn't physically really be together. So I had, like, just discovered canva. I was trying to make it work and then I bit off way more than I could chew. I had the idea for the program.
Speaker A [00:10:00]:
I was really excited about it. It was going to be 14 days of prompts and practices that you did once a day, almost like a challenge to help you reclaim your magic. But it was like everything under the sun that I had learned up until that point. So a year into my spiritual journey, I was just so excited and bursting to share. I burnt myself out. I worked on it nonstop. I got really frustrated with my business partner because I felt like I was doing it all, but I was doing it all because I wasn't releasing control. I wasn't allowing her to do anything.
Speaker A [00:10:38]:
I was the one that built the whole website, the backend, you name it, I did every part of it. And so by the time it came to launch this program, I wasn't even excited about it anymore. I was actually in this energy of bitterness and frustration and, like, it. It didn't feel good. And when it came time to launch, I think we had like three or four sales, maybe, and they were people that we knew that liked us, that wanted to support us. Like, it, the whole thing was a flop. And, I mean, I shouldn't say that, I guess, because I had some really good lessons from it, but it really taught me that, like, if I'm burning myself out in the process of creating this thing, that energy is going to be all over it and people are going to feel that and they're not going to want anything to do with that shitty energy, especially if it's a program about reclaiming your energy and giving you good energy, you know? And so I think that's, that's really important to share because, again, when we become part of these, like, business programs or masterminds or containers, they're great, but they're for a finite amount of time. And so you may be the one that's putting pressure on yourself to produce and get something done in the timeframe that you're in the program, right, because you want a return on investment.
Speaker A [00:11:58]:
You want to feel like you've learned something, you're making your money back. And also because you see on Instagram all of the time the business coaches that are touting the money that their clients are making. And, you know, maybe it's an anomaly. Maybe their clients are actually making that amount of money, but then it just perpetuates that cycle of, oh, they have a formula that I should follow because it worked for them and, oh, here's this proof point. But there are so many factors that we don't see behind the scenes around that, right? Like, what did they do with their mindset? What do they do with their energy? Did they actually follow that exact program or did they already have a bunch of systems and automations in place? Like, where are they in their business? You know, it's just so unfair to compare anything honestly because nothing is on an even playing field. Everyone has different life experiences. Everyone is at a different state in their own life and in their season of life that better prepares them for certain parts of entrepreneurship or for the spiritual journey. And so then, you know, you're adding this time crunch of, oh, I'm only in this container for six months, so I better produce something.
Speaker A [00:13:10]:
And, you know, I think it's time that we get rid of that. And I feel like this last time, so I was part of a mastermind, which is an amazing mastermind, by the way, but it ended in June and I did not launch my signature program that I was hoping to launch as part of that, but instead found so much more healing and so many other lessons. And I think that's an important part of this spiritual entrepreneurship journey as well, is knowing when you have to change course because the energy has changed or because you have more healing to do or there is something else that needs to occur before you launch this new thing or before you go in a specific direction. The universe talks to us in little breadcrumbs, right, and is always guiding us. But we have free will, and so sometimes we can fuck up that process because we get anxious, we want to get to the end of it, want to not even let our ego get in the way, but we have an idea of how we want to steer the ship. But there's actually even more magic to come if we wait and if we take our time. And I ride this fine line because I feel like I've had seasons where I have produced a lot and it's felt good, and I feel like I've also had seasons where I've produced a lot and it's felt bad and it's only taken, like, I've had to learn that right, as, as part of it happening. But I think now I'm getting better at noticing when the energy isn't right.
Speaker A [00:14:57]:
And it's a, it, you know, can be a very subtle thing, and it takes you working on your energetic capacity and your personal energy for you to better understand how you feel and how you react in moments like that. You know, I'm at a place now where, like I said, I went to sit down and record the podcast earlier and it just, like, wasn't coming out right and it didn't feel good. And so I was like, okay, this is not the time. And normally I like to have them done, you know, before launch day and all of that. And this one's cutting it a little bit close, but this is the energy that felt good to create it in. And again, I'm the one that runs the podcast, so if the energy had not been good, I potentially could have just been like, okay, I'm not having one this week, which I don't want to get to that point, but, you know, when I'm free enough to follow that flow, I feel like I'll be in an amazing place. I digress. But it feels a lot better now because I'm doing it in a better energy and I'm not efforting and just producing for producing sake.
Speaker A [00:16:07]:
I think that's a mindset that has come from the corporate world and is one that I definitely had for a long time. And again, it also really ties to our worthiness. We feel like we are not worthy unless we're producing something. And I read somewhere online that kids that were labeled gifted when they were younger now have crippling anxiety and all of this stuff. I was in gifted classes when I was younger and I don't think I have crippling anxiety, but I think I am used to performing well and performing highly and being able to crank things out and get things done because of the way our society is built, where you're always producing things through school, through college, and then you get to the job force and you have to produce certain things, and you're not following your own internal compass, you're not following your own guidance system to tell you when to rest or when to do something or when it feels right. And rewiring and rewriting those rules are hard. You know, I think it takes a lot of courage to start trying to do things differently. And it's going to bring up fear in you.
Speaker A [00:17:18]:
It's going to bring up that anxiety, it's going to bring up that scarcity, because that's where the mindset comes from, of there not being enough. And you're worried. So you are the one that's producing, you know, whether it's monetarily or not. And so it takes time and it takes work to rewrite that in our nervous systems, to let the system know that it's okay to flow, that it's okay to rest, that if the energy is not right, you've made enough space in your life and in your day that it's not going to matter. That's the true goal for me, to be so in flow with life that if I have to take that curveball, if I have to change direction, it actually doesn't fuck me up that much. It makes things smoother, perhaps, or it makes things easier or better to actually follow the way things are changing and flowing because I've never been too rigid in my structure, right? And I'm flexible enough. That to me, is the, the ultimate goal of all of this, of the nervous system regulation of becoming a spiritual entrepreneur. Beyond, of course, wanting to like help and heal the world, is to become more flexible and adaptable and be able to roll with whatever's happening and flow with whatever's happening in life.
Speaker A [00:18:36]:
And you can't do that if you're efforting and if you're worrying about your output and your bottom line and what you're producing. So I'll get off my soapbox now. I feel like this episode kind of took a different direction than I was expecting, but I'm glad for it because I feel like conversations like these are always valuable and are always just a good reminder that you know what's best for yourself and your energy. And it's time that you started following that internal guidance system and less of the outside guidance system that tells you the way things, you know, quote unquote have to be or should be. If you are loving the podcast, please like rate, follow, subscribe all of that good stuff. Drop me a note on Instagram iktoriamargonealson. Let me know what you want to chat about. What is on your heart? What is on your mind.
Speaker A [00:19:36]:
I love having this platform with you guys and I'm super grateful whenever I hear that an episode has really touched your heart, so please let me know. I love all of the feedback and I yeah, hope you guys have a beautiful rest of your week. My online membership, the portal Collective, has an amazing new meditation this month. It is one that really helps with cognitive brain function, memory. It is proven to help with Alzheimer's and it's a really relaxing foundational practice. So if you want more information on that, check out the show notes. Be good to one another, you guys. I love you so much.
Speaker A [00:20:17]:
I'll see you next week. Bye.