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Unashamed Unafraid is a show dedicated to being unashamed about sexual addiction recovery and unafraid of coming unto Christ for healing. Pornography and sexual addiction are not something you are stuck with to manage your whole life. We share real stories of recovery, the best resources, information from experts, and answer anonymous questions with those who know. All to help you on the path of being 100% healed from pornography and sexual addiction.
Sam: Welcome to another
episode of Unashamed, Unafraid.
We are unashamed of sexual
addiction recovery and unafraid
of coming unto Christ for healing.
It is boot camp season.
Shout out to Warrior Heart Boot Camp.
We've got four boot camps coming
up between now and September 24th.
Utah is going to be May 14th.
Alaska is July 27th.
Idaho is September 14th.
And Washington, which is new this
year, will be September 24th.
We sponsor scholarships
for Warrior Heart Bootcamp.
If you haven't been to
bootcamp, today's your day.
Get online at awarriorheart.
com, apply for a scholarship, sign up
for one of these bootcamps near you,
or you can go into unashamedunafraid.
com forward slash scholarships
and apply for a scholarship
through our organization.
We want to get you there
so you can get healed.
In my opinion, it is one of the best
tools to help you get into recovery.
today I'm going to take a back
seat and I'm going to let Jasmine.
My wife, kind of run the show.
We've got Roxy Johnson, who is the
author of Forgotten of the Battle
with Sexual Addiction, The Journey of
a Spouse, a book that Jasmine and I
have actually been reading while we go
on walks, or listening to, together.
It's been a huge help to us, and this
is kind of part three of a three part
series that Roxy has done for us.
So welcome back, Roxy.
Roxy: Well, thanks for having me.
It's been enjoyable, and
I hope it helps somebody.
Sam: So for this episode, we wanted to hop
into some discussion around boundaries.
We were actually thinking about
combining the discussion with boundaries
into the last episode we did with
Roxy, but there's just so much there
that in order to fully cover it, we
thought we needed a whole episode.
So we are going to deep
dive into boundaries.
What are boundaries?
How do they help in recovery?
How do they help in a
committed relationship?
How do boundaries help a couple heal?
Particularly, I think that the
perspective we'll capture today is
how do boundaries protect a spouse?
So I'm really excited for this one.
Where do you guys want to start with it?
Jasmine: We have a lot of questions,
but I think first explaining
just kind of the basics of what a
boundary is would be a great place to
start.
Roxy: a really easy way to define
a boundary is it says where I end.
And where you begin.
A lot of spouses in relationships
where there's compulsion, they end
up feeling over responsible for their
spouse and trying to keep the peace.
And they often end up taking
responsibility for someone else's
actions, someone else's behavior.
They take on trying to fix it.
And those bring in manipulation
that expectation makes it so that it
isn't a relationship that's going to
flourish and grow all relationships
that flourish and grow have boundaries
in them, which is really interesting
because a lot of our society tells
us that boundaries are selfish, but
really boundaries are self wise.
And a spouse that holds boundaries
is teaching the other spouse
how useful boundaries are.
And they're teaching any children
in the home that it's okay to
have your own safety needs.
Do you need to breathe?
Do you need to be able to
feel safe when you sleep?
Do you need to have
your physical needs met?
Do you need to have your
spiritual needs met?
Those are the reasons why
everyone should have boundaries.
Boundaries are universal
and yet so personal.
So when I first was
introduced to boundaries.
First of all, I didn't
know where to start.
So that's why I have the questions of,
do you need to breathe without fear?
Do you need to sleep without fear?
Do you need to take care of your
body needs, your spiritual needs?
I gave up.
All those things away to try and keep
peace in my home and it didn't work.
There was still tons of chaos and
I had to back up and say, what are
my needs and how do I meet them?
them.
And then you start developing,
I call them iterations, because
they're going to change through
time and through the journey of a
person learning to hold boundaries.
Maybe someone to study, if you're
Christian, Jesus Christ had boundaries.
He never railed on anyone.
I'm sure that was a boundary.
He took time for himself when
he was depleted of his energy.
I'm sure that was a boundary.
He never told half truths so
someone wouldn't feel a certain way.
I'm sure that was a boundary.
He's a really good model if
somebody wants to study people.
boundaries.
Jasmine: I love that you brought that up.
I've had a lot of experiences in my life
and I think a lot of people can relate
to this where we feel like our place
because we do have a savior is to just
extend mercy , when really extending mercy
without limits just enables bad behavior.
We really were commanded to uphold
the paradox of both mercy and justice.
Justice, in this case, would be upholding
boundaries and knowing how to do so.
Roxy: You saying that, Jasmine, that's
really important because in difficult
relationships, especially if there's the
drama triangle and persecution or deceit
happening, the kindest thing you can
do is to gently hold your boundaries.
My favorite boundary to this day.
Is if I feel angst or demeaned or unsafe,
I give myself enough time and space to
get good with God and with myself, so
that I can make the next right decision.
So, If that's a person's boundary
and their spouse is not in a good
place, they're not being kind and
shame is spiraling their behaviors.
The reason why boundaries are so
kind is because it allows the spouse
to keep themselves safe and calm.
So that they won't let the
other person misuse them.
And so the other person doesn't add
those negative behaviors to their shame.
There's a dividing line
that actually helps.
helps invite the person struggling
with compulsions into better behavior.
It might not look like it because
most people who struggle with
compulsions, when boundaries start
to be set, they fight against them.
They fight hard against them.
And I can give you some examples later
on of what I've seen and experienced.
It's kind of like they want to
know where their territory and
so to speak and boundaries.
Add a safety component for both
spouses, even if they don't
recognize it at that time.
Jasmine: They're looking and
asking for safety because they
don't know where to find it.
Roxy: Right.
Yeah.
Jasmine: What would it look
like to set a boundary?
How would that conversation go?
Roxy: What I talk about in my
book is you have to figure out
where you need your boundaries.
, One of the things that Jack and
I got into a really bad habit
for is fighting at bedtime.
And
Sam: Sorry, that's so relatable.
It
Roxy: is.
Jasmine: We relate to this.
We relate.
Sam: Jasmine and I really
struggle with that.
Roxy: Yeah.
Sam: Always an argument at bedtime.
Jasmine: It like saves
its spot for bedtime.
Roxy: Yeah, it kind of does, doesn't it?
If both parties haven't responded
appropriately, It can spiral, right, and,
and the air is just really unpleasant
and it doesn't feel safe, does it?
I was attending 12 step meetings,
I was going to therapy, and it was
suggested that a good boundary might
be to ask Jack to sleep downstairs.
Well, the problem , is that when
you need to set a boundary like that
with a spouse, most of the time,,
they're not in the frame of mind to
adhere to that boundary very well.
And so that caused arguments.
And I tried to say, well, if you
don't go downstairs when I ask you,
then I'm going to call your sponsor
or all these manipulative things.
And it just brought more contention
and mocking and it was not good.
One night.
It was particularly toxic,
just the unsafe feeling.
I just could not relax.
I wasn't going to be able to sleep, but
somehow in those moments, the spirit
got through and said, go downstairs.
And I went.
Yeah.
And I didn't say a word and I
just gathered up my things and
Jack said, where are you going?
And I said, downstairs.
And that was the start of me understanding
that boundaries were about me.
They weren't about enforcing or
coercing or control of any kind.
They were about my safety.
I had.
A wonderful night's sleep that night,
and it changed the dynamics because
Not only when we were both in a
bad place, could I go downstairs?
But what happened is it started
Jack thinking that I really did
see things differently than he did.
It allowed a place to open up for us to
have conversations where he would actually
say, Tell me about why you're angry.
Help me understand what you are feeling.
Boundaries are what started
conversations like that.
Jasmine: You've mentioned before,
and this is in your book, too, that
boundaries will create conflict.
Roxy: Oh, yes.
Jasmine: Explain that a little bit,
because a lot of times in my own life,
when I set boundaries and it creates
conflict, it can cause me to wonder.
Roxy: True.
A lot of People who talk about boundaries,
talk about the if then formula.
I take that a step further because the
if then formula can spiral into control.
If you are yelling at me, I will.
To me, that takes the emphasis
off of what a boundary is.
So instead, and this is after several
iterations, this is after trying and
writing down boundaries and refining
them and revising them, probably
three years of working on boundaries
and trying to understand with the
help of God what a good boundary was.
But I discovered, if I wrote down,
if I wrote down, If I feel bullied or
demeaned, then I get to ask for a timeout.
It didn't matter whether Jack was in
fact bullying me or if I was super
emotionally thin that day and just was not
in a good place to have a conversation.
Either way, We took a
time out.
that's the other thing that boundaries
and recovery are about is practicing.
So that's what I suggest is that
spouses do the if then formula,
But if I feel, then I will.
If I know, then I will.
If I see, then I will.
Okay.
Cause they bring the focus back on the
person who's setting the boundary, right?
Sam: That is really good because it's,
it's not about what you're doing, but
my experience in this relationship.
That would have saved the world.
Me and Jasmine, a lot of pain
if we knew that four months ago.
Roxy: You know, the interesting thing is
no matter the situation, when a boundary
has to be held, a lot of times there's
a discord in that relationship, right?
So if I say Whenever you yell at
me, I get to leave the conversation.
Well, where does that leave Jack if
he doesn't think he's yelling at me?
So instead, If I feel bullied
or demeaned, then I get to say,
Can we revisit this in an hour?
Or can we revisit this
tomorrow after work?
Or can we revisit this with our therapist?
Jasmine: That is helpful because without
boundaries, you're enabling behavior.
And, So, if you do set a boundary
that isn't based on you and it's based
on them, then it's controlling you.
Roxy: Exactly.
You know, the way you tell
whether a boundary is controlling
or not is your intention.
And so I'll tell you
a story if you'd like.
And it's about a really tough
time and a really hard boundary.
Jack, his compulsions, they
had escalated to the point of
addiction and physically acting out.
And, We were in recovery.
We were both working at it.
We were both working at it really hard.
This is not when D Day happened.
This is not the bomb.
This is when we got into recovery, and
we were both actively working toward
seeing if our marriage would survive.
Okay?
During this time, there was
two very serious relapses.
And on the second one, I consulted with
therapists and with members of my support
group before Allowing Jack to come home.
I had prayed over him coming home.
I felt that I should allow him
to come home, which took a lot of
emotional and spiritual work on my
part, because in some ways I felt
like we had gone back to ground
zero, but as part of him coming home.
There were boundaries.
And because I had been through one
very serious relapse and because I
had been through D Day when my life
was totally undone and because I had
watched my husband go through enough
therapy and enough recovery that I
knew he understood what recovery was.
One of my boundaries was I am
going to fill out divorce papers.
It wasn't something that I
did in haste or in anger.
It was a decision made with the help of my
higher power and I felt very strongly and
it cost me a bit of money I didn't have.
And anyhow, you know, When I held this
boundary, he kicked and screamed, so
to speak, and one of the things that
happened is he hurt himself on purpose.
It was a form of manipulation.
And that ended up with consequences
he was not prepared for.
And it was really, really uncomfortable.
He was so angry.
He was angry at himself.
He was angry at me, but this whole
time, Jasmine, I was able to hold
that boundary because I knew in my
heart, it was a boundary That had been
difficult for me to set and that I
had set it with the best intentions.
It was for my safety because it
became a boundary to a bottom line and
bottom lines are nothing to mess with.
They cannot be threats
or they are manipulation.
I.
I struggled with this boundary.
I struggled to hold it.
But in the end I did.
I knew it was right.
And it was a couple of years later when
Jack had entered full recovery, when he
let me know that that boundary was pivotal
in his choosing good choices one day.
Jasmine: Yeah.
Roxy: And so, it did affect his behavior.
Was it made to control his behavior?
No.
It was made for my safety.
Either way, he would have chosen.
I know that that boundary was an
honest boundary, and that God would
have helped me with either outcome.
Sam: What I love about what you shared
there is, so much of the time, as
the person who's struggling with an
addiction, In my life, my closest
relationships, particularly with
my mom growing up, I learned that
I could have the cake and eat it.
No one really set boundaries with me.
Now that for sure looks different.
When I was a teenager, . But I
Believe in the power of healing the
relationship through boundaries.
Not only does it help you.
Meet your own needs, but it's
better for the relationship.
Jasmine: And that takes a lot of courage
to set a boundary and even more courage
to uphold a boundary when in the middle
of having to uphold it, you feel like
it's fighting against you or your partner
maybe feels like you are controlling
them when your intention really isn't.
So what advice would you give to spouses?
When they're having a hard time
upholding the boundary that
they know they should uphold.
Roxy: So, I agree with
everything you just said.
It answers your question,
Jasmine, as well.
Cloud and Townsend, I believe, they
wrote a book on marriage and boundaries.
What they pointed out is that
anger is evidence of unmet needs.
So when a spouse can use her boundaries
to gently and firmly say, I am important
and my needs deserve to be met and I'm
going to meet them , it models for The
spouse struggling with compulsions, those
very important behaviors they need to
put into place for their own healing.
The beautiful thing is that when A
spouse can find the ability to make
and revise and refine their boundaries.
They learn who they are and they learn
that they are worth keeping safe.
And it no longer is even tempting
to use those boundaries as control.
About Keeping their peace and that
peace is so delicious to them.
After what can be sometimes
years of chaos, that they
keep that peace with love.
They detach with love.
They can honestly look at their
spouse and say, I'm holding this
boundary and I can see that.
You are kicking against it and you
are very angry and I will pray for
you and I hope you can work this out.
I, I know that because I came from a place
where I would routinely say, I hate him.
Early in recovery, I figured out, and
I made my own boundary for myself.
See, boundaries are about yourself, too.
About keeping your own sanity
and safety and peace in yourself.
And I made a boundary that I couldn't
say that, because it wasn't true.
I might hate what Jack had chosen to
do, but I didn't hate him in any way.
And so, what The accumulation of setting
these boundaries and that delicious piece
that I was learning could be mine, even
in a chaotic situation was so motivating
that I would spend the needed time to
decide what I needed, to decide good
ways of meeting those needs, and to also
decide consequences that were logical.
and appropriate.
You know, it wouldn't be a bad idea
to read Love and Logic or some other
parenting books because it kind of
goes back to those basics of whether
it's for behavior that your spouse
has or whether it's your own behavior.
You start putting logical
consequences in place.
And all they are is guards that
help you realign yourself where
you can choose act in the way
Jasmine: That's so interesting that
before we set a boundary, everything
feels so out of your control.
And when you learn how to set a
boundary that is about you and not
taking control of the other person,
it just comes full circle and you
realize, How in control you really are.
Roxy: Of
Jasmine: yourself.
Roxy: Yeah.
Especially in marriages that are
struggling with compulsions and
addictions, the only thing you have
control of is your response, is your
next decision, your plan to keep yourself
and maybe even your children safe.
That is a really empowering place to be.
When you realize you can put pen to paper,
even in the most chaotic situations and
get on your knees and you can figure out a
way to meet your needs and your children's
needs and do it in a way that You're
behaving how you want to show up in life.
Jasmine: Yeah, that is empowering
and it's super hopeful.
Roxy: It is, but When you're
applying these boundaries,
it can be so frightening.
when you have become the person
who kind of hides in the corner
and doesn't want to say what you
really feel or what you really
know.
One Of my boundaries was that
I had to be completely honest.
I had gotten in the habit of half truths
to just keep things even and going.
And that was one of the hardest
boundaries that I learned to keep.
I adopted a mantra, be
direct, but do no harm.
You cannot dance around what you mean to a
person that's struggling with compulsions.
They just won't get it.
You have to be direct, but at the same
time, that is so empowering it is such
a beautiful feeling when you can square
your shoulders and say, I love myself
and I love this other person, and
therefore I will say what I see as truth.
Even if I know the response is
likely to be negative, because I
know that my higher power will help
me with the next decision and the
next decision and the next decision.
Every single marriage is
a series of decisions.
Every single day by both partners.
And when even one of those partners
is holding good boundaries, honest,
thoughtful, firm boundaries, they are
modeling good decisions in their life.
Maybe not every single
time, but most of the time.
And it provides a fertile
ground for upward growth.
It almost invites the
other spouse into growth.
I will never forget the day.
Shortly after that really hard
boundary and other hard boundaries,
but I was beginning to get it.
I was beginning to understand that
I could be happy no matter what.
And Jack and I went out to dinner.
And I still remember him
looking across at me and saying,
you're moving on, aren't you?
And he didn't mean you're leaving me.
He meant you are finding a better way.
And I looked into his eyes with love.
I put my hand on his and I said, yes,
It meant he could see.
What recovery might offer him, and
it meant he could see a better way
. Jasmine: I hear so frequently from friends
or other women that I talk with and people
who have commented on the biggest place
in their life where they want to implement
boundaries and just don't know how.
Some of those are like when your spouse
lies to you or how to respond when your
spouse tells you that they've relapsed.
How do you recommend handling those?
. Roxy: You know, those are probably
two of the hardest places I had
to form boundaries, and I think
they're probably two of the
hardest places for most spouses.
So let me address the relapse first.
Spouses get to have their feelings.
They do not get to be disrespectful,
but they get to have their feelings.
And holding that boundary, which is,
I get to say what my experience is.
It was very difficult for me.
I had not been raised in a home
where feelings were allowed.
And the farther Jack got into
his addiction, the more he
wanted to shut down my feelings.
And he had openly, verbally
mocked my feelings.
And so to get to a place where I
could say, I am devastated, I am hurt,
took a lot of courage on my side.
But it was a boundary for me,
because I had to be willing to
be seen for our marriage to heal.
Without me being able to be seen,
it would just be a fake marriage.
And I had lived that.
And I knew I wanted more and better.
The other part of boundaries
is the detaching with love.
When your spouse can't hear your
honest feelings about something they
just disclosed about a relapse or
something significant like that,
part of the boundary is that.
When my spouse is not in a good place, I
have to detach with love, which means I'm
hoping for God to teach them what I've
let go of, that I need to teach them.
Jasmine: setting a boundary
for yourself before you set
a boundary with your spouse.
Roxy: And, and you have to be willing.
to see if your spouse will do the work
required to be able to sit with you when
they have to be honest about a relapse.
And by the way, honesty
was not negotiable.
In my marriage, the more I learned
about recovery, the more I understood
that honesty, even about difficult
things had to be non negotiable.
If I wanted a good marriage, Jack and
I became able to talk about these very,
very difficult things in ways that
were respectful to both of us, even
when we didn't agree with each other.
But we learned to invite the
other one to see our perspective.
And part of the boundaries is
you let go of their response.
All you're asking for is to
be seen and acknowledged.
Jasmine: I have a lot, of friends,
who have gone through this, and I
went through it in my first marriage.
All the time.
Did you ever have an experience
where your partner didn't want
to open up anymore because
Roxy: We had that fight so many times.
That was the impetus for that story that
I finally learned to go downstairs myself.
I heard all sorts of things about
your being controlling, this isn't
going to make things any better.
Jasmine: Are you feeling angry?
Are you crying?
Roxy: See, this is how you respond, so
I don't have to tell you or be honest.
I'll just be honest with someone in group.
I have many journal entries
that are in the book where.
I journaled about the process of
coming to the point where I could
say, No, this is a good boundary.
Because this is about me knowing what
kind of a man I am in a relationship with.
If he cannot be honest with me,
then I don't know who he is really.
You become predictable when you are
able to keep your own boundaries.
Relationships without boundaries have
manipulation, confusion, exhaustion.
Relationships with boundaries have
respect, honesty, humility, because
each of those attributes have to
be cultivated to hold a boundary.
Jasmine: I just really like going
back to The beginning point that
boundaries can create conflict
and conflict isn't always bad.
It just uncovers things that
you need to heal together.
Roxy: What you just said is profound
because every conflict that a boundary
brings up, Jasmine, is a conflict
that that marriage needed to address.
Jasmine: Your marriage
is working, not failing.
Roxy: Yeah.
It doesn't.
always mean that you end up agreeing, but
when you're able to resolve conflicts so
that both parties feel that their needs
are met at some level and they acknowledge
their own accountability, they show up and
say, this person is important enough to
me to have to dig into really difficult
conversations, but I'm going to show up.
Like, I want to because of the person
I want to be and because I care
so deeply about that other person.
Jasmine: I know in a different episode
that you've been in, you've talked
about surrendering and I want to know
how that goes together with boundaries.
So just to preface my question, when
we're talking about surrendering.
We're talking about surrendering to
God and not surrendering to pornography
or other compulsive behavior.
That's where I've gotten stuck in
the past because when Sam discloses a
relapse, I feel like I have to surrender
to the fact that he just watched porn.
I feel like I just have to
brush it under the rug and have
faith that Christ will cover it.
When actually surrendering
really means a lot.
I am surrendering to God, who can carry
these heavy feelings that I can't.
It also means that I'm
surrendering my husband to God,
which makes all the difference.
So, how does that concept fit
into the discussion of today?
of setting boundaries?
What's the power behind it?
Roxy: That is such a good question.
So I'm going to tie that question
with the deception as well.
So one of my boundaries was I
will not live in dishonesty.
I wanted an honest marriage.
Jack and I, after much discussion,
and some of it Really unpleasant.
We talked about transparency
within 24 hours.
I advocate for time limits.
Each couple has their own specific
time limit and way, but that was ours.
There were times when Jack
fought against that hard.
And there were times when I had
to decide what the consequences
were because he broke my boundary.
What I learned is that as long as I knew
the boundary was a good boundary about
my safety, then I could decide on the
next right decision every single day.
A lot of those days were chaotic.
A lot of them had unkind words.
A lot of them had fights, but
I wanted an honest marriage.
surrender is part of that because
I could go down that road.
The rabbit hole so bad with what if, what
if, what if through the surrender process,
I learned to be able to say, I've done
what I can and I'm not in control of Jack.
The other part that was so beautiful,
I learned I was holding a good boundary
because God revealed When Jack was
deceptive and that held out for the couple
of years that life was really tough.
So I learned that I could surrender
Jack to his higher power that I
couldn't fix him, but God could.
And one of the ways I learned that is
because when we were fighting about
this deception, the very most when it
was a make or break in our marriage.
I didn't know it, but he
had gotten hold of CDs.
This is the olden days.
They don't have them anymore.
And it was two therapists discussing
honesty within a marriage.
And it was in those hard three
or four months, holding firm
that that was my boundary.
I came to find out that God
was teaching Jack about honesty
in a way he could understand.
And he came back to the marriage
eventually wanting to be honest.
He actually put the marriage in
jeopardy by admitting another relapse.
Because he wanted to be clean
more than he wanted anything.
And so there were a lot of
nights We slept separate.
There were a lot of times
I had to detach with love.
And a lot of times that included
some distance from my spouse, and I
had to surrender him over and over.
God, you're in charge.
I'm not.
Sometimes I had to do that 25 times a day.
but he Came back to the marriage
eventually wanting to be honest.
And oddly enough, I never filed those
papers because I realized that that
boundary had served its purpose.
Because he finally wanted to be clean
more than he wanted anything else.
And I knew that was a man I could
build a solid marriage with.
So in many cases, surrendering And
boundaries are intricately enmeshed.
You can't do one without the other.
And I want to tell your listeners,
I had a marriage end in divorce
as well, Jack died from health
problems and I tried to remarry.
And it was.
I held boundaries in the same way.
He chose not to be honest.
He chose not to work at recovery.
So you have to realize that just because
you hold boundaries and you invite someone
into recovery, there are no guarantees.
Marriages are a hundred decisions
made by two very different
people every single day.
But, the same principles have
applied and kept me safe with
two very different outcomes.
Sam: What would you say
to tie This all together
Roxy: if you come at the work of
recovery honestly, in your own life,
I believe that your higher power,
whatever that is to you, will take
you by the hand, literally almost,
and walk you through every day.
And that does not mean that
every day will be good.
I, I didn't think that.
I didn't have a clue what boundaries
were when the bomb dropped in my life.
I didn't have a clue.
I was raised in an addictive home.
Boundaries weren't allowed.
And the reason why I bring that
up is because I was about the most
boundary less person you could imagine.
I saw for myself in two different
marriages with two different outcomes.
That as long as I was humble, honest, and
accountable to my higher power that he
would walk me through the experience and
It's not something that you would wish
upon anyone, but you cannot deny what
you learn about yourself in the process.
And boundaries are a good part of that.
Sam: Roxy, if someone wants to get
access to your resources and learn
from you, how can they do that?
Roxy: I have a website.
ForgottenSpouse.
com.
You can purchase the book from it.
You can look at my social media and
there's also a contact page where
you can contact me and I'll respond.
My Instagram is also Forgotten Spouse.
My Facebook is the title of the book,
which is Forgotten in the Battle with
Sexual Addiction, The Journey of a Spouse.
. Sam: Roxy, thanks for coming on again.
Just love having you on.
Thank you.
Roxy: I love being here because you guys
are doing good work and it's important.
Sam: Jaz, thanks for coming
on too.
I learned a thing or two about your
heart that I didn't know before.
Love you.
Jasmine: Love you too.