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Derrick Sier joins Lt. Cubit in this week's episode to talk about the ways in which you can rebound the misses with your mentee. They talk through the ways you can inspire, equip, and launch your mentee using the tools you've been giving them as you mentor them.
Show Notes
Derrick Sier joins Lt. Cubit in this week's episode to talk about the ways in which you can rebound the misses with your mentee. They talk through the ways you can inspire, equip, and launch your mentee using the tools you've been giving them as you mentor them.
Purchase Derrick's Book:
My Life of Lists
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Purchase Derrick's Book:
My Life of Lists
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the UCAN Mentor podcast. I am with another master mentor in the heart of Oklahoma City. This guy really is worldwide. You have probably seen him, heard him, been a part of some of his training all over the country. I am I'm gonna do my best to just kinda get out of his way and teach us today on the power of a mentoring relationship, on how to inspire young people, how to equip young people, how to launch young people, how master mentors do it.
Speaker 2:So you're gonna get some tricks to the trade today. This is my friend Derek Sire, who was raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma, the north side of Tulsa, Oklahoma, back in the eighties. You're a eighties baby. I'm a eighties. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Eighties baby. But, man, he his family he talks about his family and story all the time. He talks about his dad, which I just so I feel like I know the man because he talks about him so much. And in that family, it was all about loving people. Just loving people.
Speaker 2:And so I met Derek a few years ago, and I don't know from day 1 conversation Mhmm. Day 1 conversation, it was me trying to out love on you while you were trying to love on me. Mhmm. It it was I don't know if you know. I was kinda secretly in competition.
Speaker 2:Really?
Speaker 3:Yeah. There's a book and they call it the worthy foe or the worthy competitor or worthy villain. Right? It's somebody that you love, but you also, like you wanna be better than right? I can I can imagine, like, Magic and Isaiah going at it or, like, Bird and Jordan?
Speaker 3:It's like somebody that you respected so much, but you hated him out at the same time. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And and so I have we have we have a a mutual friend, and and I the way I introduce him, like, in spaces when I talk about he's my friend, but because I always try to keep it culturally real, like, when you keep it culturally real, you're like, I I don't really you don't know this, but I don't necessarily always introduce you as Derek as my friend or he's my boy. I I kinda give you, like, nephew status.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I gotta give you It's the first time I've heard that.
Speaker 2:I know. I know. It's like, when they say, do you know Derek? I was like, oh, that's my nephew. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But and I mean I mean, you're not really my nephew Right. Right. But there's, like, there's I have to let them know it's deeper than
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:The the friend and then and, you know, people say, I heard Derek works for you. Like, no. Derek don't work for me. I mean, no. He might say, yeah.
Speaker 2:That's my boss or something because we had that relationship Right. For a period of time. But you gotta know, man. It's deeper than than that. It's it's cousin, nephew, brother Yeah.
Speaker 2:Something something of that nature.
Speaker 3:Well, see, I would have assumed that, but to hear you say it. Right, that, like, strikes a a heartstring. Yeah. And so that's cool. I like Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I and I might try to even be older, but I mean, because you got as much as much gray hair as I do.
Speaker 3:I do. I probably have more, actually. Not I think you know, dad was like, he was silver. He was like a full head
Speaker 2:of gray. So you're going there?
Speaker 3:I'm on my way.
Speaker 2:You're on your way. Yeah. Talk about your family, man. Talk about yourself a little bit. Let them know who you are.
Speaker 3:So, you know, I always center on my dad, so I'll I'll end with that. But I just grew up in North Tulsa and, went to Booker T Washington High School. For those of you that are fam familiar with North Tulsa, I came up through Sam Houston, then went to Carver, then went to Booker T. And some people, when you're from Tulsa when you say you're from North Tulsa, they they gotta ask follow-up questions. Right?
Speaker 3:It's like people that say they're from Oklahoma City,
Speaker 2:but
Speaker 3:they actually live in Norman.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:You know, unless you're familiar with Oklahoma City, you wouldn't even know Norman, you know, is where it was. Same with Tulsa. People said they're from Scottook or Claremore or Catoosa or Bixby. It's like, you ain't now you tell me from Tulsa, I got follow-up questions. Right?
Speaker 3:So when I tell people I'm from North Tulsa, it's not Admiral, come on, you you gotta go a little bit for the North. It's it's not it's not Pine. Right, it's not Apache, it's not 36, come on, I am 4 blocks from Turley. So I'm north north, like
Speaker 2:North north.
Speaker 3:I'm north with F. I'm north Tulsa, come on like down the street from Greeley, right, Warehouse Market, I'm about a mile and a half from McLean High School, like I'm North Tulsa. And when I tell you man, there's so much love. People, I think they they say a lot about like low income poverty, high crime areas, but what I can tell you that most people would not associate with those communities is that there's so much love, man. Everybody knows everybody.
Speaker 3:It's a tight knit community, right, because you're sharing a small space, you're sharing resources. People that are in those places are probably not going in and out of the hood. Right? They spend a lot of their time there, so they're going to school there, they're down at the park, they're swimming there, they're riding their bikes there. So when people tell you about the hood and they tell you about all this negative stuff, I wanna add the flare, that there's love and the shared resources and it's tight knit.
Speaker 3:If you get in trouble at school, you're gonna hear about it 3 or 4 times on the way home. We didn't have watches, we had street lights.
Speaker 2:That You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 3:Time to come home. Yeah. Time to come home. Yeah. And and everybody was at everybody's houses, and I ate, at one place, and they would come to my house and eat.
Speaker 3:And we do laundry at another place. They do laundry at my place, and my dad coaches sports, and we was picking kids up. And so I grew up in a community that was really, really tight knit. Right? And I'm sure we'll get into this later, but relationship is literally how I was brought up.
Speaker 2:You go you bring a friend over and mom such and such is here, and she would say, hey, baby Mhmm. How is your aunt? Yes. How is your mama?
Speaker 3:I know your people.
Speaker 2:How's your grandma?
Speaker 3:How your grace?
Speaker 2:Did she ever did she ever do did she ever finish that? Did she Uh-huh. Did I know she was in the hospital. Did she? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Yeah. He had to know. So he had to be up on where yeah. Everything.
Speaker 2:Yeah. My dad says it because because his his community went the same way, and he says the exact same thing you said, but he says it in in in this way. He says, we all grew up in the same area, and we shared the struggle that we didn't really know was a struggle until we got away from here. Mhmm. We didn't even know we was poe.
Speaker 2:Yeah. We didn't even know we was black without Yeah. Because we always had what we needed to get by. We didn't we didn't want for anything until we left here and found out there was other things to want. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. What we needed.
Speaker 3:But you think about, like, that's the reason people resonate with with certain, songs or music or movies. Right? I think, the people that are outside of the the community, when they look at things like rap or fashion or the culture, they don't understand how people can identify with or glorify it. But you gotta think, like, this person is rapping about something that I'm living. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:They lived it too. So when they're talking about, you know, like food stamps and public aid and houses and apartment complexes and fights and, you know, the clothes and tennis shoes. Like, I'm not trying to necessarily glorify everything that comes with it, but I identify with it. Right. Right?
Speaker 3:This is somebody who's lived my life, and they can make a rhyme and put it to a beat, but the reason that I could dance to it and vibe with it and bump it in my car because that's my story.
Speaker 2:Man. And so now okay. I gotta transition that story, right, to you're you're away from there.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:You get you get educated. Yeah. And you pick recreational management of all things. I knew that this was a thing. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And and you and you parlay Mhmm. This recreational management into connecting the world
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To people with stories like yours. Yeah. Talk about that.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I'm I'm able to I'm able to extend my reach to areas of the country, and I pull them together like Spider Man with stories and show them how they connect.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Right? Whether it's people from Anaheim and California to to Brooklyn and New York. Right? I'm able because I've been there, and I've been able to connect on a story level, on a very human level, and I'm able to pull those things together. Right?
Speaker 3:And so growing up pre no. No. Not pre k. Kindergarten through 5th grade, I played 6 sports. Right?
Speaker 3:And my dad taught all of them. Mhmm. My dad didn't play 6 sports, but he coached all of them because they needed a coach. Daddy didn't play baseball. He coached baseball, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:My dad, he didn't coach no swimming. Right? But he taught swimming. Right? And and and it I'll I'll parlay that.
Speaker 3:I'll I'll caveat and and talk about people like the Williams sisters, Serena Vitts, who dad never played tennis. Mhmm. Right? But they we gonna figure out something, right? They talk about necessity being the father of invention, right?
Speaker 3:Like people, they come up and they make our food, right? We get the scraps, we make it a meal, right? You give me the leftovers, I'm a build a house. You know what I'm saying? You give me the scraps, I'm a make an outfit.
Speaker 3:You give me the broke instruments, I'm a make it jazz, right? We talk about the necessities. So my dad, he saw these kids running around without nothing to do, and he decided, I'm gonna teach them sports. Yeah. Sports.
Speaker 3:Right?
Speaker 2:And all of the lessons that come with it.
Speaker 3:Oh, my and listen, you're talking about recreation management. I'm I'm reaching back for kindergarten choosing my major in college.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:I'm reaching back to 6 years old, 5 years old choosing I have a story. My dad, he put a basketball. He only had the rim. We didn't have the the pole at the backboard. We only had the rim.
Speaker 3:And so dad cut out some some plywood and put 2 by fours behind it, and then he nailed it to the house. And then he nailed the basketball goal to the board, right, so I could play basketball. So me and my friends could play basketball. Mhmm. And I remember one one day my friends, they couldn't come over for some whatever reason, and I was shooting the basketball.
Speaker 3:And if you make it, it goes through the net and the net spins it to where it comes back to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:So as long as you were making it, you didn't have to move. Right. Come on, listen. I'm I'm talking already. But if you missed it, you would have to chase the ball all over the yard.
Speaker 3:Right? And so the more I missed, the fewer shots I got up.
Speaker 2:Able to take.
Speaker 3:And my dad came outside, and he said I mean, shots you're getting up. I'm like, oh, man. You know, I'm getting, you know, 20, 30 shots, 40 shots up. He was like, let me rebound for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And my dad was able to rally in all of my misses so that I could get more shots. Opportunities.
Speaker 2:It's it's literally, and I've heard you tell the story. Literally, you're the Michael jar Jordan, but your dad is Dennis Rodman.
Speaker 3:My goodness. Yeah. Jordan was able to get up more shots because he had somebody whose sole purpose was rebounding the ball.
Speaker 2:To get your misses?
Speaker 3:Yes, give me another shot, give me another shot.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's why I'm trying to shoot the ball. Right. He was probably what, 6, 8 points, 18 rebounds, career, something like that. I'm making it up, I don't know. Right.
Speaker 3:But the reason people are able to get up more shots is because they got somebody rebound in their misses. My dad would, he would take the moments like this and he would pull them out of everything that we were doing together. Wrestling, wrestling, basketball, baseball, swimming, football, like anything that we were doing on the way home, on the way from practice, in practice, that never missed a moment. Right? That's part of our mentoring story.
Speaker 3:You gotta be able to identify those mentoring moments.
Speaker 2:At some point at some point, you have recognized that there was a a homegrown Dennis Rodman in your life. And and then you come out into the world and you're doing recreation management and you're doing this kind of stuff. And what I recognized in you, when I said I gotta have this guy on my team. Mhmm. I gotta have this guy on my team.
Speaker 2:And if he can't be on my team, he's gonna be a part of my life. And so I started hiring you and inviting you to be in all the spaces that we do with kids. Yeah. And so at some point, you said there's a whole community of children who need dentists Yes. Who need rebounders
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Who needs opportunities Yeah. Who are messing up. They're just not getting enough shots. Yeah. And I believe that I have what it takes to give them shots, but I gotta be I gotta be strategic about it.
Speaker 2:Right. And so that's where your mentoring story really kinda connects. Yeah. Help help us understand what because you don't do I mean, you I would like to say, man, Derek became a master mentor because of me. You were master mentoring long before you met me.
Speaker 2:So talk about how you eased into taking your experience.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:The recreational management stuff. Yeah. The the your own business and what you were doing for companies and stuff and said, I'm gonna although I'm doing this across the country in large groups, I kinda narrow this down to that one young man or that young young woman, which ends up being hundreds of young women and men now.
Speaker 3:It is. So I think this is a a good place to kinda start with inspiration. Right? We we started out, this conversation talking about wanting to inspire, equip, and launch. Right?
Speaker 3:I think, everybody starts something that they are able to stand on their own because they were inspired. Because some people do things because they don't know anything else to do. Right? Some people do things because they've been told that's what they're gonna do. But anything that you you start and you do and you continue to sustain on your own is because you're inspired to do it.
Speaker 3:Now we're all inspired by different things. Yep. Right? Yep. I remember, there being people who I lived next door to, around the corner to, who who missed their shot, and that was the only opportunity they they got.
Speaker 3:Right? In fact, not only did they not get another shot at doing the thing, but they were penalized, they were punished for attempting to shoot and miss and missing. Right? And so when I when I look back and I think about what made me we talk about reaching back into my childhood and how that impacts decisions now. I remember being 19, going into Salvation Army, 18 going into Salvation Army, and I got into speaking and training because I was the first one that showed up.
Speaker 3:Right? Now I could stop right there and talk about being the first one to show up. Showing up early, showing up on time, right? Being eager, and then letting that from the inside move me into places, right? I show up, I'm the first one, and they're like, hey, what are you here for?
Speaker 3:I'm like, oh, I'm here for the job, the the summer staff. They're like, you're the first one here. You wanna learn how to train the rest of the staff? And I said, yes. And that opened up the door to standing in front of people, learning things, being able to regurgitate it, being able to present it in a way that others got it, being a reference point so when people mess up, they could come back, and I could tell them what they did wrong or how to do it right or differently, whatever that was.
Speaker 3:But when I when I think about, like, how how was I able to to piece all these things together and say, okay, how can I go from the world, how can I go from my state, how can I go from my city, how can I go from the university and and the programs, How do I get down from small groups, and how do I get down to 1 person?
Speaker 2:Yep. How
Speaker 3:do I get down to 1 person?
Speaker 2:How do you inspire? So you're talking to the group.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You're talking to the group. I've seen you do this. I I I don't even have I don't even have to describe it, Derek. Okay. And a lot of times, we lock in on the same person.
Speaker 2:But there's a group. You're doing exercise. You're speaking. Yeah. You're leading us and facilitating these marvelous exercises.
Speaker 2:And if and if you're a part of a mentoring group, an organization and I'm filling up your plate here. If you're a part
Speaker 3:of
Speaker 2:a mentoring organization that does not have Derek somewhere on your calendar to come and lead an exercise that you and your mentors can now use as food for the month or food for the year, you're making a mistake. Okay. Plugged. Shameless plug. Thank you.
Speaker 2:I mean, this but we gotta give you to the world. But we're we're watching these exercises take place, and I hardly I kinda stand in the back of to the side, and I listen to what you're saying, and I watch the ex but I'm watching for the kid. Mhmm. Mhmm. That we need to pull away, pull out, and connect on a personal level.
Speaker 2:Help us help help other mentors and other groups find how you find that kid Mhmm. And then how you drop the nugget of inspiration on them.
Speaker 3:Yep. Well, good thing for mentors is that oftentimes the mentee would choose them. We I think we kinda get in we we get in this rut of I can't find one. I can't find one. Like, I I want one.
Speaker 3:I reach out. They don't reach back out. Reach out. Right? And we get frustrated and we give up.
Speaker 3:Right? Or maybe we find one and it doesn't mesh well, then we go through all these things. We put all the pressure on us. And that's some things that we have to do. Right?
Speaker 3:We have to commit. At some point in time, we're gonna have to chase. We're gonna have to invest time and resources. Chase. That yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm underlining that.
Speaker 3:That that'll that'll come down the line. But initially, if we open ourselves up right, to the moment, the kid will choose us. Whenever I'm standing in front of a group, one of the things that I love doing is I scan. And there are gonna be kids who don't make eye contact with you, and that doesn't mean they're not listening. And then there are gonna be some kids that are locked in on you, but that doesn't mean that they are listening, right?
Speaker 3:It's the ability to tell a story, to deliver a lesson, a nugget, a moment, and then see when it resonates. I've seen a kid not look at me, but his eyes are watering. Mhmm. Right. I can see the tears coming down.
Speaker 3:I can see a kid that's fidgeting, right, because it's hidden on all his notes, and he's like as a mentor, you have to be able to not only identify it, but when you see it and when you recognize it, now I gotta drill down in that moment. And if you open up yourself to the moment, then you drill down and you're intuitive and you're attentive and you're watching, you see, that kid will choose you. That will come up afterwards and they'll be like, man. You'll find them playing ping pong with you. They'll they'll find a reason to be in your space.
Speaker 3:Can I can you give me a ride home? Can I sit in the front seat? We haven't even talked about front seat mentoring yet.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:They'll find a way to to be around you. Right? So when we talk about how do we narrow it down from the group, how do I get in my car, leave my home, leave my job, come to a place where there are a pool of young men and women who want to receive mentor, because that's why they're there, they want it. How do I have conversations and shake hands and share stories? And then notice, be attentive, be intuitive to somebody that resonates with what I do, how I do it, and why I do it.
Speaker 3:And then when I identify it, I'm able to hone in on it. I'm telling you, it makes sense.
Speaker 2:And sometimes right. It makes sense. And so is is I wanna I wanna kinda highlight some clues Okay. That that might be the kid. Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:It could be the kid that cannot wait to talk to you after the presentation or after the game Could be. Or after the game. Mhmm. Like, he is he or she is racing to the front.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But it could also be the one that is waiting to that's lagging unnecessarily behind Mhmm. The next activity or time to go. They're just like, why are you what's what's what's why are you not with the group? Yeah. Like, we we've transitioned from here to there, or it's time to go home.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And they're they're being intentional about lagging behind. Mhmm. The other one might be, I just got unnecessarily bumped by that kid. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I got like, we already had a greeting, and he fist bumped me.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:We already had to get like, what what's the or the or or the the the the slight invitation. Yeah. Like, hey. What you got going on tomorrow? Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:That slight little thing. Oh, you know, what you do what you do on after school? What you do when you get off? Mhmm. That little slight invitation that hardly ever comes, I choose you.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Is that right? Can you identify am I
Speaker 3:am I Yeah. There there's there there's a the other kid also that is that is saying, oh, me too.
Speaker 2:Oh, me too. Me too. Yeah. Oh,
Speaker 3:you play basketball too? Me too. Oh, you like that? Me too. Me too.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Me too. Like they're searching for that commonality. It can also be the the kid that is bringing other kids to you. Right?
Speaker 3:Hey, I want you to meet this person.
Speaker 2:Hey, I
Speaker 3:want you to meet this person. They have never said, this is my mentor. They've never said, this is my guy. This is what they've never said anything to you, but they'll keep bringing people. They'll keep bringing people.
Speaker 3:It could also be the kid that is trying to express, but they can't, and somehow you see them even though they don't see themselves. Right? That's me. Like, I see that kid, he doesn't know what's going on, he can't explain it, he can't identify, but I see that kid because that kid was me, and I have everything that that kid needs in order to get from one level to the next. But the kid doesn't know.
Speaker 3:They'll never say it. They'll never say I need help.
Speaker 2:They never say it. They never say it. They never say it. Hopefully, they will. And we try to teach them to to raise their hand.
Speaker 2:And and here's the other thing that we both identified that I want other mentors to get this. There's all the things that we just said. They're they're signaling you
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That you're the guy Mhmm. Or the girl. But they might also say, if you missed it the first couple of times Mhmm. Nobody is picking up on their whatever their clue is, behavior. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Negative behavior.
Speaker 3:Which is an indicator of I want it.
Speaker 2:I want it. Would you please give me the structure that you're talking about? Yeah. Would you give it to me? And you have missed every clue that I thought that I was clearly communicating to you that I want you to help me, and you've missed it all.
Speaker 2:And it comes out Yeah. In behavior.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's it's it's the I'm raising my hand, or I'm being silly, or I'm being funny, or I can't sit down.
Speaker 2:Inappropriate laughing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, inappropriate jokes.
Speaker 2:Then again.
Speaker 3:Yeah, distracting others. Yeah. Like that that and here's the thing we have to understand, when we're talking about humans, even ourselves, we we come with baggage. Right? We come with our own little backpack.
Speaker 3:You and I have talked about these backpacks. Right. We come with our own experiences, and sometimes those experiences can determine and dictate how we act in other places. So if I am a kid at home, and the only way that I can get attention from my mom or my dad is to act out, because we know it's science. Some kids would rather be whooped and punished than to be ignored.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Right? And so if I am doing that at home, if my way of getting my parents to laugh or look at me or feed me or help me or something, if I gotta do this in order to get the attention, then I'm gonna transfer and translate that into every environment that I'm in. But if you're a teacher and you don't get my community or where I come from, now I'm labeled a troublemaker and I'm in detention. If you're a coach and you don't understand my community and where I come from, I'm unruly. I have a low attention span.
Speaker 3:I don't respond properly to authority. Right? It's like, if you get if you get a chance, you know, there's some kids that I understand better as soon as I meet their parents.
Speaker 2:Oh, boy. Yeah. It
Speaker 3:just makes so much
Speaker 2:more sense. Ding ding ding ding. I know exactly
Speaker 3:where you're headed up. As soon as I go to their home and I see their environment, I immediately get there.
Speaker 2:And you kinda make it a point to get there.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I got to. You make
Speaker 2:it a point to get there.
Speaker 3:And the and the, again, this is when you when you narrow it down. Right? We're talking about how do I go from paying 48¢ a day to feed a kid in some third world country to contributing to United Way or anybody that's helping a community? When I get down to a program, when I get down to a group and I take groups out to movies and bowling, when I can get past all of that and I could see one kid Mhmm. Because that's what mentoring is about.
Speaker 3:You may be able to have 3 or 4 or 5 kids when you mentor. Hopefully, that's a lot.
Speaker 2:That's that's a handful.
Speaker 3:That's it's almost too much.
Speaker 2:We think you're gonna have we kinda narrowed it down to the max that that I can do.
Speaker 3:A master mentor, a seasoned professional.
Speaker 2:Max that I can do Yes. Effectively Uh-huh. Is 7.
Speaker 3:And that is, like, if I have a job and a family with 7 kids, you are stretched thin, my
Speaker 2:friend. Dude, I would never try 7 today.
Speaker 3:Oh, no.
Speaker 2:I would never try 7. The most that I've ever been effective is 7, and that was probably not doing my family any justice.
Speaker 3:I was gonna say that you're pulling time from somewhere else.
Speaker 2:You got 7 effectively. Effectively.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right. Because I'm I'm in houses. Mhmm. Right? I'm having to it's kinda like spinning plates.
Speaker 2:You've seen that you've seen that that that Yeah.
Speaker 3:With the with the stick?
Speaker 2:The stick that lady did it at the in at the half half halftime game. Uh-huh. She's spinning all these plates, and she got them all going. But there's a wobbly one over there, and she has to go over there and and spin that one while this one starts to cave in, and she has to go over there. And and she does have crashes.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It doesn't. And hung time, she's trying to balance herself on a one wheel bike.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 2:That one wheel bike is my family
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Is my job Mhmm. Is is is my finances and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3:It's your physical health, your spiritual health.
Speaker 2:All of that stuff. Yeah. Right? Right? And so the easiest thing for her to do, she's the only one that started all those plates spinning.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Right? You are the only one that pick up another Minty or not. Mhmm. Right? I know now I will never try to spend 7 Minty's at one time ever again and not and and put on a good show Yeah.
Speaker 2:Ain't happening.
Speaker 3:But you know the reason we we have 5, 6, 7 is because we have people who who won't take 1.
Speaker 2:But don't don't you start preaching.
Speaker 3:Listen. That's the only reason I got that many. That's the only reason. You think I won it? You think, like, at the at the point where my kid my kids and my family know my mentees.
Speaker 2:Right. Right. Are you gonna pick them up?
Speaker 3:Because I
Speaker 2:get like, oh, you won't get them for me? You are on the way.
Speaker 3:Right. Right. And so I so I think when we're talking about this this concept of of being able to narrow down to to 1, And and, you know, we we kinda caveat and say, like, no more than 57 is the max, like, but if
Speaker 2:You're very good at 7.
Speaker 3:You gotta you gotta be good. Yeah. You gotta be good. But I would say starting with 1 and being able to figure out the formula for that one, when you can narrow it down and say, okay. This is what mentorship is.
Speaker 3:This is the heart of mentorship, the purpose of mentorship. This is how mentorship takes place. It's implemented when you are able to reach in your pocket and mentor, when you're able to reach in your experience and mentor, when you're when you're able to reach in that sleep bucket and pull out Mhmm. And mentor, when you're able to do that with 1, then you can see where 2 and 3 fit.
Speaker 2:So you get you get and I'm gonna I'm gonna narrow this down and move on to the next word I want you to kinda dive into. But so the inspiration the inspiration you provide to just one mentor, it usually happens in storytelling of your own story. This is true. Right? So you share so much transparency, so much stuff.
Speaker 2:You you pull out your own story. Yeah. And say, here it is. Dissect me. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And not only is that my story and it could somehow can connect with somebody in this room. Yeah. I've made it. Wow. I made it, and I'm only here because I want you to make it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I want you to make it. So you you you cast a big net Mhmm. And then you and then you home in and you're looking for clues to see who, if in many people or many students are probably inspired by portions or part of the story you tell. And then you take that one.
Speaker 2:And somebody's gonna need a ride home or somebody's gonna need something and all that kind of stuff. But, anyway, let's go. Let's fast forward to the relationship has you've already got the relationship. This is a mentor, and this is my mentee. 1 of my 5.
Speaker 2:And so now you have to equip them. I feel like you do an absolute mastery job of being able to load them up or to highlight or peel away all the things that's part of them and highlighting their gifts, their talents, their knowledge, their skill Mhmm. And then equipping them to use that for the benefit of their family, themselves, and our community. Yeah. Talk about equipping your mentee.
Speaker 3:I'm I'm gonna talk about that. I I wanna go back and and before we put a pin in and inspire Okay. I I also wanna say a good indicator of identifying a mentee is not not only your ability to inspire them, but they inspire you.
Speaker 2:Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Right? Like, there are some some kids, some students, some young men and women that I look at their lives, and I can see them trying. Right? And I can see them taking shots.
Speaker 3:They just keep miss, I can see it, and I'm inspired enough to move on their behalf. Right? And we're talking about these indicators, these clues of whether or not that's the key for you. We can, you know, you can work a job. You can work any job and make money, but there's some jobs you love.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Right? And the struggle that comes with doing what you love is embrace, you anticipate it. There's some hard things that I love about mentoring, right? And other people look at it and they're like, man, I don't know if I could do that.
Speaker 3:You can. You just have to be inspired in the right way, right? In the same way that something that's hard for me is easy for someone else, what's hard is the same way with somebody. You're gonna find an area. You know what?
Speaker 3:I hate talking about money, but there are people who Sebastian Sanders. He's a money guy. Yeah. That's his his niche. I'm like, if you want a money mentor, I'm sending you to Sebastian.
Speaker 2:He's an entrepreneur. He's about entrepreneurship and building kids up to be entrepreneurs. Not me. Sanders Hands. Sanders Hands.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Check them out. Yeah. That's that's not my gift of my calling. In fact, if I if I wanted to do that, I would have to pour so much energy into, like, getting my knowledge base up in that area in order to mentor you effectively. Otherwise, I thought you'd be like, just go talk to Sebastian.
Speaker 3:Like, that's your guy. And so I wanna I wanna say that that in order sometimes we we can pick a kid and we can make it work and we can force it and we can fight through all the obstacles and all the frustrations. But I think when we're talking about one that just fits, that feels good, not only are you able to move them, but they're able to move you as well. And then it becomes this relationship where it's not easy, but you embrace it. It's not easy, but you love it.
Speaker 2:Man. Okay. So we're going we're going to go we're going to move to how you equip Minties. Yes. What you what you just what you just told me is, like, how to be inspired and let so I was asked and I got share I was gonna share this with you yesterday because sometimes I get a story and I was gonna share it, but might as well share it on the podcast.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But yesterday, I was asked, okay, Waylon, why why are you so passionate about kids? Why are you so passionate about the type of kids you mentor? Mhmm. And I instantly had to think, like, where did that come from?
Speaker 2:Like, yeah. Where did where did where did it come from? So it it there's some stuff in my background. Right? But the story I told him, and I think you'll identify with this because you just kinda said it, is you get inspired by certain things, that makes you just have to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So so when I got the house that I raised my kids in, there it's on the east side, small house. Mhmm. But when when we got it, my dad my dad purchased it, said, this is gonna be rental property, blah blah blah, you know, whatever. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't want this junky little house that I the yard is jacked up on it, but, anyway, got got followed it. So they got the house and the yard is jacked up. Mhmm. And I grew up with a plush spring front yard. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I said, dad, well, I gotta fix this yard. He says, well, fix it up. He says, well, I don't know how to fix it. Somebody been driving the yard, the car up in it, and it's all beat up, and it's not level. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And grass won't grow. It's terrible. He said, level that thing out, man, and and teal it all up, and and and then get you some sod. You go get you some sod. I said, where you get sod from?
Speaker 2:Down there on 23rd Street. Go get you some sod. Okay. I'm so I did all of that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I go down with a buddy down to get this to get the sod to go to the sod farm. Get to the sod farm, Derek, and I tell the guy, I got this little yard that I wanna I wanna wanna put I wanna put a yard in, and I need some grass. Yeah. He said, how much you need? You need a you need a pallet?
Speaker 2:You need 2 pallets? Mhmm. No. I do not need 1 or 2 pallets. I just need a some 4 front yard.
Speaker 2:And he said, well, we only sell about a pallet, and this is how much it cost. It was way too much. So I dejected. I'm trying to leave, and he says, hey, homie. If if he didn't say homie.
Speaker 2:He was he was really country. Yep. I said, homie. But it it would translate to, hey, homie. And so, anyway, it so he says, you you got a truck?
Speaker 2:I said, yeah. I brought my truck. He says, take your truck out there in the field, and you can go behind the cutter truck. And, let's pick up what he throws to you. But he gonna throw some side to me?
Speaker 2:Mhmm. That I don't know if he gonna throw it in my truck. I mean, I have no clue on what he's talking about.
Speaker 3:But me
Speaker 2:and my buddy, we get in the truck and we go out and we follow. And so in this this truck that's rolling the side, and when it gets to a certain length, it cuts it off into a nice neat roll. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And
Speaker 2:the guy at the back of the truck would take this nice neat roll and start filling up a pallet till he fill it up. Mhmm. But every once in a while every once in a while, because it's a routine and it's going really fast, roll cut, roll cut, roll cut, roll cut. Every once in a while, the machine didn't roll the side properly. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:It was loose and it wouldn't it wouldn't straight. And so the guy at the top, kind of an assembly line, kind of fashion, would take the roll that was not round right Right.
Speaker 3:And
Speaker 2:throw it out in the field, which was the clue that me and my friend could have that one because it wasn't right. Right. It wasn't right. And so we would take the time to jump out of the truck, fix the roll, straighten it up a little bit, and then put it on our truck. And this happened until we got a truckload, and he sold us the truckload of 25, for $25.
Speaker 2:You can have all the best the rolls you want.
Speaker 3:That bad.
Speaker 2:It was a great deal. Yeah. It was a great deal. But what it required was that I had to take those that weren't wound tight. I had to I had to be willing to take the ones that nobody else wanted that they felt like was not valuable.
Speaker 2:It didn't really fit the system. Right? It was kinda in the way of the system. Right? And I said and I look in our community, and I see all of this rich, valuable people, young men and young women, that other people, other systems say they ain't wound us tight enough.
Speaker 2:Right? They're it takes a whole lot of extra time to deal with them. Mhmm. And somebody's gotta be willing to come around on their vehicle, with their knowledge, their skill, their their manpower, their muscles, their grit, and pick those people up.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Pick those young people up and say, I I see value even though you're not wound typing. You're getting their way. I see value in what you are. I see value in what you are, and you inspire me. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:It inspires me to take those busted roles and to see them grow Yeah. Into what other people never saw. Yeah. I saw in the buzzer role what they can become, and that inspires me. That inspires me.
Speaker 2:And so I had to I had to tell you that story. I was gonna tell you tell tell to you yesterday, but when we talk about not only do we inspire them Yeah. They inspire us and they inspire us because every once in a while, you see a really good group Mhmm. Kids that became what you saw they could become in the first place.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's inspirational.
Speaker 3:And and think about that is like, for some reason, it doesn't transfer from one topic to the other. Because people will restore jewelry and houses and cars, but when it comes to people, they're like, nah. I
Speaker 2:ain't got time to do that.
Speaker 3:And I understand the work that goes into it, right, but I think it's this concept of mentorship. Like, if we can find something, like, it because some people who like cars don't like houses, and people who like cars and houses don't necessarily like jewelry. Right? But if we're gonna find an area that inspires you, like, to move and find somebody that's interested in that, right, that's a good transition. Let's transition because we'll get stuck in inspiration.
Speaker 2:Equip. Equip.
Speaker 3:So in order to equip, you gotta have the tools. Right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And when we think about equipping others, oftentimes, I think it comes naturally out of the tools that we already possess, but we don't know that they're tools. Right? Our experiences, our profession, the things that we've overcome, they make us like living experts at those things. And those are the tools that we can use to equip our mentees, right? So if I just happen to grow up, with a dad teaching me dad lessons, right, I take that for granted, but that is a tool.
Speaker 3:The relationship that I have with my father is a tool that I can parlay to help me equip this young man, being able to, do chores in the house. I was telling I think I told you about this. There's a kid that I've been mentoring for the last 4 or 5 years, and he moves into this this little trailer park, this trailer home, and he didn't have any furniture. Right? And so we we fill it with furniture, my wife and I, and he didn't have a bed.
Speaker 3:We give him a bed, and I was just gonna give him the the box spring and the the mattress and the frame and the headboard. And my wife was like, woah. He's gonna need some, like, a confidence sheets and stuff. And I was like, I wouldn't even think about that.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:So should we get him this bed in a bag? Right? And you open up the bed in a bag, and it has comforter, it has a sheet, it has a fitted sheet, and 2 pillowcases. Right? And so we're sitting there, and, I was like, hey, man.
Speaker 3:We put the the bed in the room, and I was like, go ahead and put that together. And so I go back out to the car. I'm bringing more stuff in. I get in there, and the bed is completely made, but he's like, hey, I got this sheet. Like, I got this extra sheet that they left in the bag.
Speaker 3:I know, Ben, the bags don't come with extra sheet. Right?
Speaker 2:Right. Right.
Speaker 3:And so he's like, but it it didn't fit, so I didn't put it on.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I was like, what do you mean it don't fit? He was like, look at it. He's trying to put it on. I'm like, it's a fitted sheet. And he was like, a fitted sheet.
Speaker 3:I'm like, it's the sheet that goes under the sheet, but on the mattress. And he's like, what?
Speaker 2:Yeah. We
Speaker 3:pull everything off the bed, we stretch it across, and he's just sitting there with his hands on his hips.
Speaker 2:Time blown.
Speaker 3:Just, oh, right? But I grew up in a house with fitted sheets, right? Mhmm. And that's a tool that I may not have recognized had the opportunity not presented itself. So when we're talking to mentors and they feel ill equipped or unprepared to prepare and equip others, it's like no.
Speaker 3:You've gotten to 25, you've gotten to 30, Right? You have got some skills and some tools that you can leverage on the behalf of others to equip them for the same situations that you've overcome, but you just don't know it.
Speaker 2:Right. So this kid was just equipped. He was just you just gave him a tool.
Speaker 3:He sent me a picture.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:It made his bed. He was like, coach,
Speaker 2:look. Right.
Speaker 3:I'm like, good job on the finish, he wrote.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So so another example might be and I'm I'm just thinking of we teach we teach tie tying. Every time we do a man up group, and we don't have to talk about man up, but large group Right. Being is a big casting a net trying to mentor on a a group for a day day and a half, 2 days. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, I get a picture of a guy. All I see is a knot. The head no no head. Just the hand and tie and saying, look. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:I got it right.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And you go, woah. Well, that whole fun thing that we did teaching tie tying, this kid is trying to show me that, yes, you equipped me Mhmm. And I'm using that skill in in a in a space where where he believed it was it was necessary to use it. Right? And and, again, bang, motivated.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Out of the park. Is there is there if I'm a if I'm a new mentee or new mentor and and I'm trying to make sure that I get some value out of the meeting with this mentee, I'm taking them out for whatever or an amusing an amusing day or an outing. Is there any time that you go intentionally go, I'm gonna have fun with him or she. I'm gonna do these things.
Speaker 2:It's gonna seem mindful, but I have this thing I want. I didn't feel really feel like I need to equip them with. Or is it one lesson, a series of lessons? Is it one talk, a series of talks? Do you stay at one thing until you feel like they've put the tool in their tool belt?
Speaker 3:I think that's kid to kid. That's Just moment to moment. I I can I can start out, long term, 10 years, and I could say mentor mentorship is a relationship? Right? And so anything that you implement, you wanna make sure that you continue to reinforce it, continue to visit.
Speaker 3:Right? Even if they appear to have it down, if you don't bring it up, they'll bring it up to let you know that they retained it. Right. But when I think about you know, we're talking about tools and, you know, being a a handyman of mentorship. I remember this guy coming over to hang my TV, and he had this, little bitty this little bitty drill bit.
Speaker 3:And he pulled out his drill, and he was just just winding the thing down. Just winding the wind until it fits real tight over the little bitty thing. Mhmm. Mhmm. And, I'm I'm like, man, like, you got all these big old tools, you know, you're getting a big drill, you got the screwdriver, you got the the hammer, you got all this stuff, and what are you pulling that out for?
Speaker 3:Like, we're hanging this big old TV, big old TV. He was like, oh, I have to make this hole in order to make another hole in order to make another whole in order to make another whole so that that TV can hang. Mhmm. And when I think about relationships with mentees, it's usually one conversation that gets you trust and rapport to have another conversation that gets you trust and rapport, to have a bigger conversation, to have trust and rapport. Because if you start with a big conversation and it doesn't go well, then you've ruined the opportunity.
Speaker 3:Right? But if I'm talking to you about, you know, we do it with people all the time. Like if I'm trying to get you to look better from head to toe, then I can start by talking about brushing your teeth. Mhmm. You know, I can start by a clean sock.
Speaker 3:I can start, I can have some little conversations, so by the time I'm trying to get you in a suit, right, I'm not worried about putting a suit on a dirty body.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:You know, I think there's these little bitty things that we can do so that when we're trying to hang a big moment, it stays and it doesn't drop. And that's mentorship, like front to back, tail to end, like begin like when we introduce ourselves, lots and lots and lots of fun, right? Being familiar, being in that space, learning who they are, how they speak, what they enjoy doing, and then we just drop that little poof. Whether it's on the way home, or whether if we stop, they're shooting a basketball and we rebound, it was like, man, you show up, you're getting a lot more shots because you got somebody who rebounded. Yep, throw it back to them.
Speaker 3:And then we reference that at the at the end before they get out. You know what I'm saying? Like there's these little bitty things that open the door for bigger things. And I think when we take that approach, instead of coming in, I'm trying to fix your life. I'm trying to make you a better man.
Speaker 3:It's like, woah, hold on. Right.
Speaker 2:That's where
Speaker 3:you get, you know my daddy? You don't like that whole thing. But But I think there's this this process of widening that hole so that we can hang big moments and big lessons. But it starts with those little bitty encounters.
Speaker 2:So even though you see there's a big project, like, there's a big thing that I need to be work this kid has
Speaker 3:a Has a lot of big things.
Speaker 2:This thing has a lot of big things. Yeah. Let me get this little hole drilled first. Yeah. Right.
Speaker 2:And and so and let me equip them with this little thing. Let me make sure they get this first. And sometimes, right, it it takes, like, no time
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:To do it, and then sometimes it takes many meetings Yeah. To do it. And so the the patience on on our part as the mentor Mhmm. Is to, like, man, I feel like like my other 3 mentees would have gotten this concept by now. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But for whatever reason, I gotta stay I gotta stay with this little small thing until I get it because that big thing that that I saw when I first met him, we gotta we gotta we we gotta we gotta get there. We gotta get there. Right. But not until we get this.
Speaker 3:And and I think some of that, like, that has to to to do with, like, like, when when we when we we mentor, mentor, mentor, or even when we compare one kid to the next instead of, like, creating this IEP, you know, that we talked about?
Speaker 2:It's very individual.
Speaker 3:It's very individualized. And I and I think even when we are in a in a space where the kids appear to be similar, right, I want that kid to prove to me their individuality instead of me covering them with a blanket assumption just because they look like somebody else. Because, you know, like,
Speaker 2:oh, dude. Even if they live next door, even if that's
Speaker 3:the brothers. Yes. Listen, I know twins. I got twin goddaughters, and they cannot be more but I'm saying, like, for us, we just really have to take the time, right, because I think if we skip over some things, you'll get that TV on the wall and it falls. And I do not want to pay for another TV.
Speaker 3:What does that so let's think about that. What does that look like as we're trying to equip, right? Not only mentors to mentor, but like these mentees to receive this equipping that they're trying to do, right? There have been times where I thought my son had a concept and he didn't, right? This generation, I don't wanna say this generation, but students, they have the ability to make you feel like they have something, but unless you validate it and confirm it, right, they'll just act like they have it.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Right? I cannot tell you how many people that I've seen come to school with a fresh haircut, right, with brand new Jordans, nice outfits, and they go back home to a raggedy house.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I cannot tell you how many times, and this is just a hood life, right? I need you to think that I'm something so that I can survive out in this setting and I can fit in and I can present myself a certain way. And so when we when we're hanging with these mentees, sometimes they will fatigue in talking about the same thing. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:I don't wanna talk about, yeah, I got it. Did you do the thing? Yeah, I did it. Did you talk to your mommy? Yeah, I did it.
Speaker 3:You take the trash out? Yeah, I did.
Speaker 2:Number 1, you're supposed to show me how you arrived at the answer.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. But but I
Speaker 2:don't wanna do that, man, because you ain't got it.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:You ain't got it. You know what I wanted to see was the right answer.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:But when I when I asked you how to guide you arrived at the right answer, then you don't wanna do the back of the work. Because assignment is not complete, young man. The assignment is not complete. Yeah. Show your work.
Speaker 2:I can get there.
Speaker 3:And so and so I think that that happens a lot when we try to, like, rush the process. When we try to speed through
Speaker 2:this We talked about this. You should have this. Mhmm. Didn't we talk about that? You should have this.
Speaker 3:These other 3 got it. Yeah. Yeah. They got it. How come you don't have it?
Speaker 3:Especially if you got multiple kids. Yeah. It's like I I think this I I think it's very important to to pause this moment and say that every kid you mentor is not gonna be the same. Mhmm. In fact, you should not expect them to be the same.
Speaker 3:Even if they come from the same school, same youth group, the same neighborhood, the same community, it may turn out that they may be similar, but to assume that they will be is a disservice to the mentorship process in that kid. So we have to take the turn and look at those little bitty moments and not rush past them. Did you do it? Yes. How'd you do it?
Speaker 3:Did you did you do the thing? And they're gonna be so annoyed. Right? And and there's some finesse that takes place in the conversation, because you don't wanna be monotonous in your approach.
Speaker 2:Now the the the here's here's the thing, and I want you to talk about this.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:So we got the they you've you've given them tools. Mhmm. And oftentimes, I suspect I suspect, you know that they have the tools on their tool belt that they don't know they have it. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:They don't know they have it. Yeah. And then it and then you come to a moment. Let's say, quitting. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Let's say, quitting. This is a this is a thing that I launched you into. Yeah. We'll talk about we'll talk about there's a thing I launched you into. It got tough, and then all of a sudden, you're quitting.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. But let me tell you about your tool belt. Remember when Mhmm. And then you walk them back down a timeline of your mentoring with them, and you start saying, you didn't quit then. You right.
Speaker 2:Every single time Yeah. We were I was launching you. Yeah. I was equipping, and you did it. You killed it.
Speaker 2:The how is this different than that? Mhmm. How is this so talk about how you help them understand the tools they already have.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I think you you can't you can't pull on that technique unless you have time. You spent time looking at that tool belt.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:Right? I think sometimes we assume or we transfer certain things to people because they look like they have it, right, and and maybe they don't. Right? I think you when you spend time with a with a kid and you figure out what their qualities and their attributes are, and then you have the evidence and it proves that they've used it, right? Because some people, they have I went to school with this guy that was 69, and he wanted to play the bass guitar and play soccer.
Speaker 3:And the the basketball coach was like, no, you coming to play basketball. Right. You're 69. And this dude was getting dunked on, he was getting it was I mean he was getting bullied. And everybody like, bro, you 69.
Speaker 3:Like, but to him, he's like, I'm a soccer player and a bass player, not a basketball player. Mhmm. So it looked like he had a skill and a tool, and everybody was looking at him like, you 69, this is how you should be performing. But for him, he was like, no, man. Like, I'm a bass player, bro.
Speaker 3:Right. Like Right. And and it is it was I I was joking, I was like, man, it looks like his bass is a ukulele. He's just so massive, like he's just like playing this, and he was really good at the bass. Right.
Speaker 3:But this kid at the stool that he did not know, you can literally turn around and jump 12 inches and dunk the ball and you won't do it because you don't know who you are. It's like the elephant on the peg, right? With the string, the elephant can smash that string in that peg. But because he grew up with his mindset, he just didn't do it. So I say for for mentors that they have a kid that has come into the situation that requires a tool that they think they don't have.
Speaker 3:This is where relationship and time and experience and attentiveness and attentiveness where you can look back and be like, no. You got that. You
Speaker 2:got it. Let me define define it for you.
Speaker 3:You got that.
Speaker 2:This is what this is. Yeah.
Speaker 3:And I'm a show you how you use that tool. These other areas. How come you can't do it here?
Speaker 2:Yeah. You've been using it.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I think I think that comes into the the resiliency when you talk about, like, low income and kids in poverty who believe they can't do stuff. Let me remind you what you've been doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Let me tell you what I know.
Speaker 3:I I know that you are 16 and you help raise your 4 siblings. Mhmm. Let me let me let me tell you that you are a person that not only goes to school and makes straight a's, but you helping your siblings with homework. That you cooking, you cleaning, you helping your mama, you walking to bus stops, you babysitting, like, you are resilient. Everything that you think you don't have, you you got all the way back here.
Speaker 3:This goes into another thing. Right? When we when we talk about, like, this traditional sense of, like, professionalism or preparedness, how can we take the skills and tools that our kids have and reshape and present them in a way that is acceptable, like, through mainstream or, like, this this this popular environment? Right? So people, like, I would say that a 16 year old girl that has raised 5 kids has management experience.
Speaker 3:I would that's what I would say. I would say she has the ability
Speaker 2:You're doing something.
Speaker 3:To lead people. Right? And so it's like how do we take this non because because these these environments aren't set up for this particular type of skill set. Right? There's no direct transference.
Speaker 3:So as a mentor, now we're getting into launching. Now we're getting into launching. Right?
Speaker 2:Launch. Okay. So transfer the skill. Yes. We we have inspired them into the into the relationship.
Speaker 2:Yeah. We have we have equipped them Right. Several different ways.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:And now it's time to put them in a place where they can be successful. It's time
Speaker 3:to launch.
Speaker 2:Yes. Launch
Speaker 3:us there. Yes. So this is where this is where I am in a in a particular setting as a professional and I'm looking at someone who has the tools and the skills who don't think that they have it. And so now somebody who is a professional launcher, I have to not only continue to equip you, but I have to leverage on your behalf, my platform. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:This is how we launch them into spaces. Right? This is how we use our influence and our connections in order to let them know that they can do it, they just were unaware that it existed and that they could do it, right? This is the kid that goes to school whom you talk to him about business and being an entrepreneur, and he's like, man, I don't wanna do that, but he already selling candy bars. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying? He's already flipping teeny shoes. You know, I I know a girl that she she was making money for prom because she was she was adding butterfly wings to prom dresses. She was only one of her kids her friends that knew how to sew. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Right? And so people were bringing her prom dress, and she was just sewing the wings in the back because it was like a fairy theme. It's like you are a seamstress. You are an entrepreneur. You got a business model.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Even if it just starts with butterfly wings on the back of prom suits, like you can make that money, parlay it into something that you know what I'm saying? Like, we have this concept of of being able to stand in the future and look back and say, no, no, you have what it takes. And these are other people who were doing exactly what the youngest millionaire, self made self made millionaire was the the lady the the girl that was drawing on flip flops on the beach. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Like, she was a surfer and like in between like waves, she would color her flip flops with Sharpies. And people were like, yeah, where'd you get those those flip flops from? And she was like, oh, I made them. And they would pay her like $10. They would go buy flip flops, bring them back, and she would color on them.
Speaker 3:And then her mom came back, and she had like 10 pair of flip flops out. And she's like, what are you doing? Oh, the lady paid me $10 to make her, and they're all different designs. Mama immediately goes and and gets money, and I think she made like her first $1,000,000 when she was like 10 years old.
Speaker 2:Man. Absolutely insane. Putting them in position.
Speaker 3:So when you're talking about launching, what what can we use to launch? What's the platform, the fuel, the avenue to launch our kids into spaces, right, that they feel like they're not prepared for, but I'm going to equip you. Right?
Speaker 2:And the and and the the launch Mhmm. Is really easy for us as the the the mentor. Mhmm. But it is challenging Yeah. For the mentee.
Speaker 2:And and we want it to be a little bit of a stretch because they cannot grow if they're not stretched. And
Speaker 3:I can't I can't launch you to a place that you're already in. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So this is gonna be new for you. It's gonna be fresh.
Speaker 3:Right. So what I what I'm gonna do is we're gonna make it awkward. We're gonna make it new. We're gonna talk about some things that you probably didn't think you'd be talking about. We're gonna put you in some spaces.
Speaker 3:Gonna shake some hands. You're gonna see some things. You're gonna do some things, and we're gonna make as we continue to expand that, we're gonna make that normal. Right? If if we're for those of us that that believe in the the stratosphere and the space and the great ethos in the universe, right, it's this concept of we've spent the longest time trying to get outside of the Earth, and then we got outside of the Earth, right, we we were going to the moon.
Speaker 3:And it was like, oh, well, can we get past the moon? Well, let's go to Mars. You know, it's like, it's this concept. So now getting outside of of the Earth is normal. It's normal now.
Speaker 3:For me, when I was in North Tulsa, going out to South Tulsa was weird. Mhmm. But the most time I spent out in South Tulsa, I'm like man, Tulsa's small.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And then I was like, what's in Broken Arrow? Right. You know, and it's like, what's in Oklahoma City? It's always like when we're talking about launching, that immediate launch is gonna be awkward, but we wanna put these kids in spaces. Listen, let me tell you the truth.
Speaker 3:I wanna launch my kids in the spaces that I haven't been into.
Speaker 2:Right, Right.
Speaker 3:I I wanna be I wanna I wanna contact a friend that is in a space that I'm not in
Speaker 2:and I wanna And learn it with them.
Speaker 3:Listen, I'm like, listen, I'm opening the door for you, but I'm coming right in behind you Yeah. Because we about to learn something together.
Speaker 2:Deep trust there. Deep trust there.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah. And to me, that's that's when you that's that's when you create this this space where it's almost like your relationship with the mentee transitions into something else.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Partnership.
Speaker 3:Partnership. Dare I say friend or you know, like it just kinda transforms. That's That's down the line a little bit. But we're talking about how do we how do we inspire, not only how do we inspire them to trust us and to move in this mentorship relationship? How can I look at their life and see their potential, and I'm inspired to partner with them?
Speaker 3:How do we then move to the next level to where I take my tools and my gifts and my talents and whatever I have to equip them, right? And then once I feel like they are equipped or that they're equipped enough, how do we launch them into this next space? Yeah. And I know we've been talking about business, but I wanna say that space doesn't necessarily have to be financial. It can be into a relationship with a significant other.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It can be, how do I go to college? It can be, how do I stand up for myself? Or how can, I start dressing differently? How can I start making decisions on my own instead of looking for other people? Like, whatever that space is that we've identified that they need to be launched into, we've have to first be intuitive and attentive to be able to identify it so that we're not launching them into the the some unknown target, but they were very strategic in the areas in which we're partnering with them.
Speaker 2:Man. Alright. I wanna I wanna I wanna do this. When you come back on the podcast, and this is what I wanna do with you. Okay.
Speaker 2:I wanna take one relationship Oh. That grew to partnership. Okay. And I want you to walk us through that one relationship telling all the stories about the ups, the downs, the equipping, the realization that they are equipped, the tools, the passing on of tools. Like, when when the mentee says, I got this from Derek.
Speaker 2:I got this from Derek. And then and if and if it went for Derek, I wouldn't have been in this space right now. And then how, yeah, as an adult as an adult, you and that family, their their relationship, their kids, because you've been to baby showers, you've had marriages. Yeah. You've done all that kind of stuff from from the beginning.
Speaker 2:I would love to just kind of walk through and kind of go on a ride with you through that relationship. And then at the same time, right, at the same time, Derek, you're growing
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And you have kids and and how this just becomes a part of your DNA Yeah. And how your kids and your wife gotta know that this is just kinda who you are and what you what you do, and then how you have one of the one of the coolest things that you've done. No. I don't know. One of the cool things for me, you've done a lot of cool things.
Speaker 2:Like, the thing is that you've taken police officers
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Who want to serve, and then you've turned them into mentors in the heart. That's a whole separate podcast. That's a whole separate podcast. Like, they it's a whole separate thing. Like, these people wanted to do a program, and they wanted to serve, and they wanted to work kids, but then you said, no.
Speaker 2:You have no idea. Yeah. Like, you're working with Lieutenant Cuban and me. You're gonna do more than just serve the group mentoring. You're gonna be 1 on 1.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And the ones that do it do it well. And we have some people who didn't wanna do it.
Speaker 2:They did yeah. Right.
Speaker 3:And they did they didn't do it well.
Speaker 2:Right. Right.
Speaker 3:But there was oh, that's that's a whole A whole
Speaker 2:another story. A whole another story. So you're equipped, you're launched, you've launched people, and so I appreciate everything that you do. I wish that we had more time to dive into your brain and how you're able to facilitate and and do connection for everybody. Talk about how we get more of Derek.
Speaker 2:Like, how do we find your books books, Arthur, and and how do we how do we support that and learn from you in the books? Yeah. And then and how do we connect with you, like, if we need you for for for our group mentoring space?
Speaker 3:So I would immediately point you to social media, which is Derek Sire on all platforms, whether it's Twitter or Facebook or Snapchat or Instagram. Like, it's all it's all the same. Derek Sire. You're not gonna find me anymore. And if there's some confusion, my face is there.
Speaker 3:But I'll also send you to, life of this dot com, which you'll be able to find, my second book, which is Life of This talking about just gotta be intuitive to small moment. In fact, I I opened that that book up with, this book is for the people who notice a flower and then bend over to smell the flower. And while they're smelling the flower, they see 2 worms in the ground. Right? It's like that next level of attentiveness.
Speaker 3:And then the first book is small stories, big teams, seeing where everybody fits. Like, everybody contributes wherever they are. So you can find those on Amazon. You can go to lifefulllist.com and pick them up. If you want me to come out and work with their group, man, hit me up in social media.
Speaker 3:I mean, I feel like that's the best way to do it. I have this bad habit of putting, like, my cell phone and everything.
Speaker 2:Don't do it. Don't do it.
Speaker 3:It's too late. It's already out on the other but it's like I get some strange calls and some strange texts. I'm a have to figure it figure that out. But, yeah, I'm down to connect and share what I got, man. It's not mine.
Speaker 2:Man, love having conversations with you. I'm sure the world is going to love this conversation, too. Let me remind everybody you can mentor. Thanks.