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Captain Caldeas rides a pushcart. Ten thousand years of unpaid tithes come due at the end of a flamer, a molten beam, and a Fenrisian psyker catching macro shells mid-flight. The Imperial Repossession Squadron splashes down on Hive Zarkannon to collect. Amalthea survives the throne room — barely — and coughs up one last word before the cut: Blood Wolves.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Wrath & Glory
Creators and Guests
Host
Guest
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What is WarHams - Narrative Declaration?
WarHams! The TTRPG live play show set in the grim dark world of Warhammer 40,000. Follow us @NarrativeDeclaration on all social media!
three two one go excellent sexy welcome welcome back everyone to another episode of war
one week since you looked at me it's been welcome back everybody so good to have you all here thank
you everyone for spreading the word of the show thank you to everybody who's been supporting us
so far thank you for everyone who has been watching but of course there are people here
you know people it's a team effort here we all pitch in together that basically make this show
happen and i would like to introduce to you the people or the cast members of the show of warham
starting with our skitarii ranger pie brain played by yes i am speaker d i play pie brain the
scurrilous skitarius and i alone know the location of the maltese falcon
and reeve van horn on inquisitorial acolyte is played by i am i am a lead writer on
if the apparatus speech device and i am also sitting right here and i am playing as reeve
he's a medic captain zedek our illustrious rogue trader captain of the debt collector is played by
ah that is me hulky crow uh right here
sitting in this empty room with nothing else to my name but you know what i feel real good
having nothing else around because it just makes my sound that much more crisp i stole everything
from him he did he took it all and i can't sue him just to help you out bring your microphone
a little bit closer to you and just boot yourself up like a good tad and uh finally and finally we
have our illustrious game master who's been torturing us this entire time thurston hillman
how are you doing i'm doing good uh you can tell i'm excited for the next episode of the
new path of exile league i'm excited for this because you've pulled me away from my trails of
cold steel and the new path of exile league that means i really love this show uh but uh but yeah
i'm excited for today's episode uh i got a couple quick points i just wanted to hit on
uh reminder from last time holding off on experience until the end of this arc so no
nothing new for the players yet but expect some cool stuff a second off uh wrath and glory
recently got some errata uh mostly fixing up that molten beam issue we had from a few episodes ago
and a little change to flamers which we will get to and three inevitably fires his flamer
last up real real quick um there were some questions about last episode about corruption
which uh one of our lovely pie brain characters managed to snag some corruption you know one of
the many pie brains yeah one of the many many pie brains um the same one it's a multiverse of
fiber no uh so just a quick summary because i didn't really go over too much in that episode
corruption is a mechanic that the players can sometimes encounter and it's really really
really bad whenever the players get corruption because if they do it can lead to like all sorts
of mental trauma mutation and if they get too much corruption they turn into a chaos spawn
so um currently pie brain is the closest of our characters to becoming a chaos he's winning
it's a new it's a whole new type of points so focus on points that you became the points
right don't worry if i get too many i'll win that contest too
okay yeah that's whack that's it for me though all right so on how we run this show is basically
that you guys are able to contribute to the game so if you ever watch us live on twitch as majority
of you are doing as of right now you'll notice that we have dice either under our little character
portraits here or basically on the bottom left and bottom right of our screen if you're a new
here one welcome again in two you'll notice at the bottom left or right now is one thing showing
grant of glory you're able to contribute or donate to the show to help basically contribute to uh to
the players to help us survive a little bit more but we start every session with no glory we're
absolutely low on it it will not it'll only grow by basically us rolling super duper well which
barely happens or you guys contributing to it in which there have been some clutch donations that
has helped us survive
unfortunately though the game master also gets points like this called ruin points and those
ruin points he starts out with four because of four players and he uses those to just basically
mess us up so don't 100 plan him to use it all the time but when he does it's pretty hurtful to us
and you can also notice pretty much where lauren's portrait is you'll notice these dice that are
below him these are called wrath die if you ever played normal warhammer 40k tabletop you'll
understand these wrath die
basically allow us to re-roll failed rolls so say for example if i rolled and i got like barely any
successes of breath of glory because it's a d6 system i can use that use that rough die take all
those dice and re-roll it and hopefully get a way better result out of it or i can use it for a
narrative declaration like say if i really want to do something i could spin one of those die
to at least let that happen so with that thirsty i think and also oh i'm going to steal your bit
real quick we may get rolls wrong
sometimes we get things wrong we're not perfect books are hard words are difficult and we'll
probably interpret a role incorrectly or probably just get something wrong so if you're a veteran of
wrath and glory which is the system that we're using to play this game please feel free to put
in the comments or tell us in chat that we got something wrong so we can do better next time
we're always looking to improve on how we can actually play the game so thurston i think we're
finally done with the beginning i think it's finally time to play some warhams finally time
it's five it begins after five billion years and all these announcements well it's the end of the
beginning since since our last episode didn't at all and on a big cliffhanger i'm just gonna
provide a a zippity-doo-dah recap for everyone who's joining us if you didn't catch up on the
last episode or just need a quick reminder uh we had our intrepid band of uh adventurers off
in space making their way to the end of the world and we're going to be talking about the
to the moon of scar garris prime in search for a hidden lost mechanicum outpost along the way they
found some crashed fighters on the lunar surface which re uh investigated along with pie brain and
pie brain had a moment of uh well corruption by uh by investigating that wreckage eventually they
made their way inside the compound where they found it was a bit of a musical complex and we
had our musical episode and uh throughout their explorations inside they found the
vox golem that chased them around for quite a good good while and following that they managed
to encounter a lovely little creature named sean uh who they did not let out of their glass cylinder
so sean remains trapped for whoever knows how long and finally our adventure ends with them
reaching the command center of this outpost where they learned that
amalthea rubania from the nearby scar garris prime and hives are canon and her four
bearers have been sending people to their death on this moon for thousands and thousands of years
and at the absolute end of the episode a large space marine emerged from a stasis capsule
to confront our players and so we come back
he's missing a leg isn't he though he he is he is in fact for for everyone let's let's
give a little reminder here by showing off this art again of uh of our good friend captain caldeas
he's seen better days he has seen better days he has so now he he hopped at you menacingly
um that being said we start our session
our adventure begins in darkness
a black
screen if you will as our episode begins
we hear the activation of immense engines rumbling to a greater intensity voices begin to speak
engineering reports all well void shields at maximum macro cannons to bear compliance
the ever rumbling engines reach a crescendo as something awe inspiring
عتisco
laughs
other one reads silver star and
tater tot on the trike maneuvers between the two immense servitors going between their legs in kind
of a figure eight before coming out on the other side and then leaning into a turn takes this trike
and crashes into a large pile of bricks that begin tumbling down and as this as this uh pile of
bricks and tumbles down each brick by the way does not have a letter on it like you would assume
in a regular daycare each of these has a different full like sentence paragraph hymnal to the emperor
uh these these bricks all tumble down in like a cacophony and as tater tot causes this collision
we cut immediately outside to the death collector which is smashed into one of scar garris prime's
orbital defense platforms blowing it up the macro cannons on the death collector firing at the
orbital defenses of this planet that have
now been turned against the pcs after their their discovery on the moon and we cut to start off on
the bridge of the debt collector clearly some time from when our players first encountered captain
caldeas inside the mechanicus outpost but we cut to see captain zedek on the bridge of his ship
along with our other players uh leading a charge against the planet's orbital defenses captain
zedek what are your orders
you
all hands take out the orbital batteries we can't put people on the surface without them still there
understood sir we're doing everything we can but those orbital batteries are causing us quite a lot
of problems lieutenant ransom replies back as the ship shakes and with the first shake we cut back
to tater tot making another quick turn in the the daycare station knocking down another set of toys
before cutting back to the bridge what's everyone else doing let's start with the daycare station
you lorn you this is a space battle what are you doing in the middle of this
is there a role to panic
i i mean you could certainly uh give me a willpower check if you'd like actually
i'm like oh god everything's exploding in space and i i assume is there like a window i'm looking
at to see like the cannons firing down on this planet oh yeah yeah yeah i'm like you're seeing
the the macro cannons all along the the dead atlantic shipaman without secrets yeah you're seeing the the
macro cannons all along the the death collector seems to be on theора's field by far atomizing this
the debt collector unloading
not on the planet so much as
on these orbital batteries that are
sending return salvos towards you
I see I see
I want to
what I would like to do
I actually forgot to even open my
own character sheets that probably should be
something I should do
and I would like
it's going to be
really hard to do that I'm willing to put a wrath point
in it and it might mess some things up for you
so I apologize so say no
so they're firing at us right
yeah I am ultra I believe
I'm ultra tier psycher
as much as I like to think that I am
okay if
I want to see if I can warp
grab
one of the one of the shots
they're firing back at us
and I'm willing to go
full unbound
to make sure I stop it
turn it around and
back to the planet
okay okay
because
re-wrath dice
because I'm like
because I'm like looking around
just going to see if a shot's going to hit us directly
and like hit the shield or something
I'm like no
and just like just stopping
stopping it's like just like kind of
jedi-ing it in a way and like pushing it
back to the planet and just hopefully
you know if I'm scared for it enough
sending it back
so
I will allow this with two things
first of all
you're going to have to spend a wrath point
to make that kind of a narrative declaration
because that's insane
second of all
I need you to pump
three so two extra
this is called power level transcendent
it means you're putting two extra wrath dice
into doing this
I'm going to set the DN
fairly fairly high on this
I'm going to say
you're going to need like
we're looking at an eight
in order for you to do this
yeah as you're just seeing munitions
that are streaking in the speeds
that they're moving
you're only getting this very very short window
in which to try to use your powers
oh boy
here it comes
here it comes
I've got my response ready
okay so
because I don't know how to do it with the
because we're using roll 20
because it's weird with this default psychic mastery test
um
what I'm going to do
is I'm going to roll
so roll psychic mastery
and I'll just throw in three extra die right
uh two extra die
because the psychic mastery should include it
yeah you're good
all right we're going to click it first
see what I get
yeah
I got an 11
and a glory
I still have to roll
the two other
you do
oh no
okay I'll just
I'll just default roll this
so 2d6
and
it's a five and a six
holy
I basically grabbed this thing
it's because I
I'm starting to see it
and I and I see that we're kind of like
you know on the bridge
like I imagine I'm on the bridge with Zedek
and he's commanding things
and I'm just like
and I'm I'm freaking out
like oh no
everything's gone
there's too many orbital batteries
and I look oh
and I look over
it's like it's like another
like third eye
just big
you could go
it's like slow motion
and all the psychic mastery
that I own
just slows it down
I see one of them
streaking through
there's like a
like a bit of a rip
or something
inside of our shield
or something
that it could just pierce through
and hit the bridge
and Lauren's like
no
this will not happen today
psychic mastery
and you will not destroy me
what I have built today
and I basically
reach out a staff
and a bolt of fucking psychic energy
just blast through the fucking window
and just like narrowly
you just see a ginormous fucking bullet
stop midway in front of the window
and it's like
oh
and obviously everyone's like
oh shit
it just turns around
and just
goes all the way back
and where it lands
that's up to you game master
I can't
I'm not gonna control that far
but I'm aiming
towards the fucker
who fired at me
that
that
that
massive macro shell
hurtling towards the debt collector's
strained void shield
stops just outside
and as
as you said Lauren
you
you stop it
you turn it
you
you channel all of your psychic energies
into moving this
this immense
this immense shot
turning it
and sending it hurling back
though
this time it's not on a straight trajectory
it goes corkscrewing
eventually
taking such a wide angle
that it smashes into one of the orbitals
and when it smashes into that orbital
it explodes it
in a shower of debris and light
and as that happens
as that massive blast of light occurs
we cut back
to the Mechanicum outpost
and back in time a little bit
to when our intrepid band of adventurers
met Captain Caldeus
this massive space marine
inside the Mechanicum outpost
and
Lauren since you had that
and Zedek you've been commanding your ship
I believe where we last left our session
Reeb
you had some
some questions
or had been wanting to do some
some Medicaid check here
what are you doing?
I had been
I've been given the dubious task
of being first contact here
so I
I of course had to instruct him
about what we were
and I of course am telling him
of course we are servants of
the man emperor
or I suppose in this case
I should use the word god emperor
otherwise he will get very sad at me
but I don't know that do I
you would not
so you quite would use the term god emperor
by a default
fair enough
in that case then
yeah
you mentioned that we are servants of the god emperor
but I mainly had
a of course a Medicaid check to roll
if I can convince him to let me close enough
because I want to
I want to give him a bit of a hand
to me
with his like
is his gait
okay
see what the damage is on his leg
and arm stump so to speak
absolutely
give me a Medicaid
he's sort of like
now that you've clearly identified
not as being hostile
he's wary
you get this sense of threat from him
but he's sort of lowered his sword
and just using it
putting it slightly into the decking here
to help
stabilize himself
and you you approach this
this utter behemoth
and
you can tell the damage is very extensive
though with a six
that that's enough for you to tell
the damage is extensive
but
this
this
divinely wrought
servant of the emperor
is in no threat of of dying
it looks like in fact all of the wounds have sealed
obviously there's room for bionics and other stuff
or
you know
regenerated limbs
but in this case
though obviously hampered
this
Astartes is
completely able to
to get into a fight
or perform actions as best he can
with his current impediments
okay
so while i'm checking out his wounds
i of course i'm going to
attempt as best i can
to bring him up to speed with our mission
considering he is likely
far older than we
so obviously that's going to take a while
quite a bit of effort
but i will more or less say that we are
friends
if if i if that is all possible to say to a man
with a face such as that
friends i see
well then
i
introduce myself again
i am captain caldeus
seconded to the sigillite's
command
have you been sent here to
retake the planet
we have
um
reeb's gonna very gently stroke his chin
in a way yes
we have more or less come in this
dire circumstance
to check on this planet
as we have lost contact with it
for quite some time
we only recently rediscovered it
re re rediscovered you
you say it was
it was lost
regrettably yes
in
in
the time after the schism
there was a great deal of
lost contact with many worlds
i am not terribly up to speed with it myself
but i assure you
it is all the better that we are here now
and seeing the extent of the
loss in this case
how how long
how how long have i been in this stasis capsule
hmm
well
well
can i can i actually hazard a guess
is that even possible
i i mean
you could give me a scholar check
and we'll see what you know
i actually i i do have the detail
of the data from the uh logs and shit
could i potentially
would i know that from what i analyzed
at least like as
like what the latest log was
or the earliest
oh yeah like i've got great scholars
so if you want if you can help me out with that
that'd be good
my scholars like i'm not sure if i'm gonna be able to do that in the future
like with all the stuff it's like a nine
also uh yeah give me give me a scholar check reeb
we'll start with that
and then uh pie brain
i will come to you dependent on this
okay
yeah
the complication i'm gonna i'm gonna come out the gate swinging with a uh
with a spending of my uh wrath
on that one
okay
so i'm gonna knock down one wrath off me
i'm gonna roll that
absolutely
and then hit that reroll button
let's see what you get
you only got a three and a half minutes left
you only got a three and a half minutes left
you only got a three and a half minutes left
three uh complication and a five
okay with a five like you're able to tell that
okay yeah like ten thousand ish years
the records are a bit hazy
um part of this is gonna come from brain coming up to you
and like going you know explaining the logs that they found
and you kind of have a group huddle
as this uh immense astartes figure
like steps back a bit
um
okay
there's yeah i don't want to interrupt but i did see a very good chat message
how long have i been in stasis
it's complicated
well it also is complicated
um because i want uh i think the complication here
given our specific socials that is um
either reber pie brain since you're both the two conferring on this
one of you says something that probably isn't the best thing to say to someone
who has you know been
uh been asleep for 10 000 years and was around during the great crusade and the golden days
of the emperor
and since you're both the lead writers on tts
i'm sure one of you can come up with something awful that you say haphazardly to this poor
space marine
well since i'm in the inquisition i suppose i would have gotten the memo at the very least
about what's going on
oh yes it's been quite some time long long before the great god emperor has begun to
speak to us again after his impeachment
so you'll regard this as money
and there's a great deal of it
i guess
i guess
there's a lot of players within this
you wouldn't want that
yes
is that what this site spells
uh
ooh
it sounds really keeping me from thinking to use some what personally
wishes to say to you guys
um
who the hell done i didn't want to breakfast this morning
Was it built after the war?
Oh, damn you are old.
Yes, unfortunately so.
It was.
He was felled by a great wound,
but is still very much alive.
Felled, felled, but he's alive.
This is good then.
I can still bring my message to him.
That's kind of debatable.
Yeah, me too.
A funny thing.
Irritably, Captain,
that is not something that is easily done.
For you see, approaching the God Emperor
has become somewhat difficult for,
well, anyone that he does not wish to see,
which is not even guaranteed by him anymore.
I grab Reeb by the shoulders
and I start shaking him slightly.
Ah, but we do have a solution.
We are...
Yes, what?
We are on a crusade
led by...
By two of the Primarchs.
If any could get a message to the Emperor,
it would be them.
And since you are...
The Primarchs is my liege sanguineous with them.
Oh, yes, of course.
I can just imagine everyone just looking left and right.
Just like, ah, yeah, sure, ah, yeah.
Everyone's looking for an exit.
Reeb is just still being shaken by Pybrain in my mind,
so he's just going,
yeah, well, you see,
what do you mean about that?
Hi!
Ah, sorry, I got there.
What do you mean about that?
And with that,
we cut back to another orbital station exploding.
And this time we cut to Pybrain.
You're on the bridge of the debt collector
as it is continuing to babble through these orbital stations
over Scargeras Prime.
What are you doing during this fight?
Well, I see this huge munition
about to kill us all.
It's on the bridge.
And then I see Lorne just use magic
to make it go and kill, like, 3,000 people.
And I kind of take a second.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going.
Here we go, Lorne.
I ain't tapping that shit.
I make sure these shields are working.
No one to hold and no one to fold them.
So I'm going to be moving about and, you know,
how much of the...
How much of the crew are servitors?
Oh, like, there's a good half of the bridge crew
or, you know, servitors that are plugged in.
I assume Zedek uses servitors whenever possible
because real people, you know, require resource investment.
Yeah, so I'm going to be...
I'm not completely heartless.
I'm going to be trying to network these servitors
if they are not already networked
and attempting to, like, micromanage
and, like, optimize their performance outputs,
specifically on the aspects of the systems
that are not being currently exploded
and or are exploding others.
Okay, that's going to be a tech check.
Oh, the tech priest making a tech check, eh?
Yes.
That's very typecast of you.
Yes.
Yes!
Seven glory.
Seven glory.
Yeah, okay.
So you get a seven.
Yeah, you get a seven with a point of glory,
which is enough for you
to start, like, networking various servitors
and micromanaging all the data flow
that's going through them
and rechecking their numbers.
And you're really controlling
the Void Shield operations of this vessel right now.
And as that's going on,
you feel this presence come up beside you.
Sir, by brain!
And you turn to see Lieutenant Ransom,
sort of,
awkwardly shifted beside you.
I'm very busy.
I'm making sure we do not explode.
What do you want, Mr. Ransom?
I was just wondering how your investigations
were going into the not seeing your crew of this vessel.
Ah, my investigations.
I have investigated the fact that there are people
shooting at us right now and better fucking things
to talk about, moron.
I do not investigate you people.
Do not worry.
That is not my purview.
All right, then.
Weapons continue to fire.
And Ransom just walks away with this, like,
proud stride as he continues directing from the,
from the strategium and making his way
towards Captain Sedek.
Can I point my attention really quick,
just kind of a little bit away from the shields
for a moment without us all dying?
Yes, yes, you can.
All right.
To kind of activate, you know, like, I guess,
like, my headset and we're going to kind of get in contact.
This is Pi Brain to the chef of security.
Do you have any updates on your investigations?
I'm going to try to contact Belba
because that was suspicious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, so there's like this, this crackle
and then you, you hear the reply back from Belba.
Nothing to report yet.
I'm still on my sneaking mission.
We are in chief of security.
I request that you focus your investigation
on Lieutenant Ransom.
I believe he's hiding something.
And these stupid people on that dumb purple world
make me not trust anyone.
I believe we must take after Reeves' example
and become altogether more inquisitive.
All right.
I've got my eyes on him right now.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really?
You're in the room.
I look around.
Give me an awareness test.
You're sure.
Is he just behind you?
Instant transfer.
Belba, I don't trust him.
It's okay, Ransom.
It's okay.
I trust you.
I hate him.
One success.
Like you, you don't see Belba anywhere.
Like in fact, you're looking around, like there's crew.
There's, there's Lorne who's straining
under the psychic power.
There's Zedek giving orders.
There's just a random person.
There's a random cardboard box in the corner,
but that's not suspicious at all.
Yeah, it could be anything.
Like, yeah, exactly.
There's, there's nothing of note.
Damn, she's good.
And, and, and with damn, she's good,
we cut back this time to the Mechanicum outpost with,
with Captain Caldeus now having sat down on one
of the, the benches here.
Cool.
And so ultimately, then, I think, you know, I think, you know,
I think, you know, I think, you know, I think, you know, I think, you know, I think, you know,
I think, you know, I think, you know,
I've not really heard any support on that.
I think for some reason, they just talked about their, there's no support.
I mean, they may have bad luck in that, like, you know,
if it, you know, if they do.
I said that.
Okay.
I'm like, I'm just excited.
That's all right.
Great.
a holiday
a holiday
it's pretty neat
it is in his memory
did not make the holiday
out of him Lorne
it is in his memory
it's a holiday we get off work on that day
I'm going to
shut up
I'm going to approach the camera
there's just these slight
facial tics
on Captain Caldeas's
face right now
you all get the sense
of just this simmering
rage that seems to be
making its way
towards the surface
it's designed to
keep in his memory
yeah
I'm going
oh sorry
we cry in cups or some shit
I don't know
talking
shh
shh
shh
shh
shh
It's a holiday designed to his memory
so we can all remember his valiant
sacrifice to
save the life of the emperor.
That's it.
There are some nice things, but
it's mostly memory. We swear.
We.
And
the traitors still
live. I am going
to approach the captain, perhaps
unwisely.
I had a plan and now it's
going to explode.
I'm going to welcome the war.
Please don't get
donutted. A single hand
on his massive shoulder.
Okay.
I can
sense that you
are angry.
You have lost
your comrades
and you have
lost your father.
Dear
captain.
Yes, brain. We should
do something about it.
What kind of social
skill are you wanting to say?
Why were you doing that?
Mr. No persuasion
because he's tempting someone
to do something murderous.
That's why by brains.
Murder all
bonus for that or
I would say that
would be leadership.
Yeah. Okay. Okay. Yeah.
Sure. Sure.
This is seven. Go.
Yeah.
Five base plus two because
he's a different species.
Oh,
well, I know
what his stats are.
My dude, we have
a lot of glory. You can spend
a lot. It's okay. We're going to be
just dropping here
just to make sure you
glory on
there you go.
There you go.
We're going to need your help on this
session.
Please. We'd like to spend.
A wrath for for
for we're going to bump
a wrath.
Okay, so it's up to six and now you have
to roll with the bonus glories
or did you include
them in the I included them.
Oh, God damn it.
Would you like to somehow
try to assist? I will
only do it. I will only allow you
to assist if you continue to push
the narrative of revenge.
Actually, I want to talk
about it. Zedek might be our
leadership boy. I have a leadership of a six.
I want to I want to I want to try
something if I can run it past you, though.
Okay, Zedek first. Actually, that's
okay. Leader leadership captain.
Sure. I'll throw a leadership
at you.
That's a two.
Okay, well, we'll we'll we'll Bernie
Lurier up a wrath.
Sure. Get a wrath on that.
Okay. Oh, everyone's down
their wrath. Okay. Remember to help
out people who don't see any of this visually
to tell what your number was. That's a five.
Five. Yeah, that you know
what? That's enough to assist, which I think
will will calm Captain Caldeas
is
rage TM
down a bit. How does
Captain Zedek join in
on this little conversation?
Well, while we
can't do anything about
Sanguinius or your Legion,
these monsters
did this to
you and countless other
fine representatives of the Imperialist
Imperium.
There is nothing short
of wonderful
and fiery vengeance we need
to take upon them. And
we offer that in our assistance
to you, Captain Caldeas.
You will assist us in
helping these
wayward once
Imperials to comply
with the Imperial message.
Right. All right.
You have
a ship. Oh,
do we have a ship?
Kind of crappy, though.
Okay.
He got
it at a certain
dealership. It was used.
It was my
dance. But it didn't age!
But it was my dance.
My fighter is still in the hangar,
but it won't be enough
and I can't pilot it. But
but you, your ship,
can it, can it
strike at these heretics?
Oh, can
it strike? Can it strike?
Gentlemen, can we, can we just
get some testimonials in here? We need to bump
our reviews on the Imperial
Bazaar, anyway. Captain,
Captain, I'm not one to lie, but I
don't believe a planet is the same as an orbital
defense platform. It's very easy to hit
a planet. It's very large.
Well, we don't need to
necessarily blow up the orbital
outpost. Don't we? Oh, yeah.
Quick note to, uh... Look, it has big
cannons and we can blow them up on the
surface. That's all that matters. Captain
Zetic. Yes,
Brain? You forget.
Not only
are we angry enough
to make a difference, everyone on the
This is too slow!
And he, like, pushes himself up with his
sword on the table. We must
crush these heretics. I
require vengeance now
for all these sins you have
told me. Capital!
Let's get to it. I really like this guy.
Which one of you was the strongest?
I raise my hand.
I push Brain forward.
The Robot Man.
That's him. I don't think I'm really
that cool. I mean, I haven't really done
anything with my psychic powers at all.
Yeah, I know. You never really accomplish
I mean, magic. SILENCE!
I have a task
for you! And he points his
sword with the
blood drop hilt towards
you, Pi Brain. And
then he's- YOU! And then he
moves it over, inconspicuous,
like, to this inconspicuous
corner of the room, where there's, like,
just this metal pushcart.
You will take me to your shuttle.
Hm? I like where this is
going. And with
that, Captain Caldeus begins hopping on
one foot, placing himself
on the pushcart.
Captain. Mechanicus
servant, push me!
I push with the force of the
fudge welt!
While the captain is in the,
you know, the wheelie bin,
I wanna try and get some information
from him real quick, because I
wanna- I just- I wanna
set the scene here. So we have
Pi Brain pushing this
one-legged space marine on
a pushcart, and you're basically walking
beside this, like, interviewing
this space marine. It's like
House, you know? It's like
House MD. That's what I am right now.
Okay, okay. Sure.
What are you asking? Go ahead. Well, because
I don't know if anyone forgot or not,
but, you know, our- our little
shuttle managed to make a little splashdown
after hitting, you know, a field
and crashing in.
We're not leaving terribly
easily in our shuttle.
But I need to ask him,
Captain, where
are the- where are the
repairing instruments? Are there any, uh, servitors
still active on this outpost that we
can use to refit our
shuttle for exfiltration?
I- I
do not know. I-
I only had enough time
to seal myself in the stasis capsule
after killing all of those
traitorous
followers of the Warmaster
who trailed me here.
I lost my leg, I lost
my arm, but I killed
dozens of them.
And now we will kill
more. I-
Reap's just gonna, like, reach down and
pat his cheek if at all possible and say,
Not very, Captain. We'll get you a new arm and a leg
with which you can go stomping later.
I stop pushing for just a second.
Okay.
You stop in the middle of this hallway.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Our shuttle is far away. There is a
new one in there that we are unfamiliar
with. Captain! And I'm going to quickly
run to the main hangar bay where we
saw that original shuttle. It wasn't a
shuttle, it was a fighter craft. It was his
fighter. Oh, I understand. Okay, never mind.
I'm gonna keep pushing.
Just imagine you run down.
It's that one! Like,
Oh! And you just, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, run
back.
And then I begin walking back to where he was.
You know how you, like, when you're at a
grocery store and you, like, run really fast
with a shopping cart and you put your feet on the back
of, like, the under cradle and you just zoom
by? Imagine that's how he's moving along.
With the captain in the
fucking bucket.
Yeah, as I'm, yeah, I'm
actually gonna be, uh, you're running this
you know, with the captain. I'm
trying to get there as quickly as I can because that's probably exactly
what it looks like.
Okay. Yeah, and then, like, eventually
you, I assume the camera just
cuts to the empty
hangar with the two, well,
with the shuttle and the fighter. And then
from the doorway, you just kind of wheelie
on in, going, wee!
Uh, with the space marine in front of you
pointing with his sword, and Captain
Caldeus points at the fighter as you enter into
the room. Yeah. Uh, my,
my vessel, uh, my
trusty, vast patterned life.
It's frightening. Still here
after so long.
You will fly it again
someday, Captain, that I can assure you.
But Captain, I have
one thing to state to you.
What? You are filled
with glorious revenge, and you have
much to revenge upon these people.
But we have a mission from the eye,
from the mouth of the Primarchs.
We shall not burn all of this planet,
at least without their blessing.
We shall take your revenge
but it shall not
scorch the surface. It is too
valuable.
Of course.
What, what kind
of inhuman monsters would think
to destroy a whole planet?
We all
sift the eye left and right.
Oh, shut up. I don't do
that. I'm all those Xenos.
You're in league with the Xenos?
No!
No, I study them. I rip them
open.
He's a scientist. No more pursuit
then.
I had to make it very quick, like,
I rip them open.
Now Reeb is pretty
cool. Repairs
complete. A
servitor walks out of the back of your
shuttle. Is it our servitor?
It seems to be a backup
servitor that was in the back
of the shuttle.
This unit identifies
as
Kay Hermson.
The shuttle is ready
to depart. When did he
get in there? I don't want anybody to see him.
Oh,
sod it. Load up. We're getting out of here.
Oh, crap.
The field.
How are we going to leave with the field still there?
We're just going to splash into the crater and die.
Yeah.
You know, actually, if you just go slowly
through it, like, you're fine.
Oh, really, is that it? Yeah, the void shields only
repel, like, high, fast-moving objects.
Well, you see,
Reeb, the void shields only repel high,
fast-moving objects, so we're fine.
I wish I'd known that.
A tech piece of your caliber should have only
known that, but it would have been really useful
if we knew that when we first got here.
So I'm glad we brought that up now.
You know, it's really helpful.
And as you all enter
the shuttle, we cut back
to our orbital
scene, except slightly
further back with
all of you entering the bridge,
having all of you
except for Captain Zedek removed
your void suits.
Captain!
Yes, Ransom?
The orbital defenses here have begun targeting
us!
Yeah, well, funny story about that.
It's a planet full of traitors,
as it turns out.
Traitors? All right, then!
We will bring justice to them!
It just starts turning and
issuing orders, and...
Yeah, what are the rest
of you doing as you now come onto the
bridge for the first time?
Well, I suppose my duty
is not here. I am no
general. I shall retire to
the medbay and ensure that the syringes
do not fall into our critical
condition tech priestess.
Excuse me. Do we have any
biotics in the medbay?
Actually, wait, that is a good question. Captain?
Yes? Did you stock up
on replacement limbs
like I had asked you at
last dry dock?
Oh, you would ask me that? I thought
you were talking to the servitor.
Oh, for goodness sake!
Maybe I did!
Look, look, look, look! I pull
out my flask that is clearly damaged
by a bullet that's been hastily soldered
over. Sometimes I
forget. It's not an
issue. I can stop whatever I want.
But maybe I did.
Can I make a check to see if I actually was smart enough
to order replacement limbs?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, you know what? Let's
get an influence check.
Oh, boy.
Hit him with the influence check.
Hit him with the influence check.
Baby.
That's a four. That is a four
and a glory. Ooh.
Knock us off the glory. You know,
you know, that, um, that
is not enough for you to acquire bionics.
You're gonna need another point, so you're
gonna have to spend a glory or
You can have a lot of glory.
Can I spend a glory?
How much glory do you want to spend?
Spend like four, just in case. Sure.
Hey, GM, I got a question
actually. Can I add some pressure to
Captain Zedek so that he can succeed this?
Uh, after
he decides if he's gonna use the
glory, which I think he is. I'm gonna spend a
four glory. Yeah, roll
four forty-six for me, then.
Two more successes. So, you
would have some
bionics. You're not sure if they're particularly
good bionics. You
remember wanting some
bionics, but, like, most of the ones
you bought were intended to be
punishment for bad crewmenials.
So,
is Zedek
relaying this to me?
So, we do have some
bionics, Reeb. They may not
be the best since
my portfolio took a hit.
It went sideways.
I don't know
how good they are. It's a surprise.
You'll have to see what you get there.
Reeb is going to take a very
uncharacteristic, very deep
grimacing frown.
I'm going to push an intercom button.
Gammo, print the list.
Farewell, Captain.
Bye, Reeb.
So, Reeb, you depart. Now,
before we jump back forward
to the destruction of all these
orbitals and my brain
contacting Belba, which we've
seen occurs, one
thing that is still odd, and various
crew members are kind of looking at you, Captain
Zedek, you still have your void suit on.
There is
nothing wrong with me having my void suit on.
I'm simply being fashion forward
and planning to fight them on the top
of the ship.
You want to hit them with your sword. I understand.
Yes. Put me closer. I want to hit the orbital batteries.
Just imagine Zedek on top of the
debt collector as it's plummeting towards
the planet, and you just have your power sword out
going, BRING ME TO THEM!
AHHHHH!
The atmosphere is burning us all alive.
Sir, should
I get the servitors to remove
the void suit for you?
No. No. Just very
clearly do
not. And then just completely decide,
alright, let's get these comms on board.
We have some work to do. Just completely
ignoring the question after that. And then
we have now effectively snapped
forward to the point where we began
where the orbitals have now exploded.
Reeb's presence not on the bridge
as he has retreated to the Medicaid
deck. Loren has just finished
corkscrewing that missile, and
Pybrain has created a series of
servitor
slave, well, slave servitors
for the shield,
the void shield array.
Captain Zedek, your vessel
is now taking a pounding from orbital defenses.
What are you doing?
I'm checking on the various
comms and seeing what's going on in the lower
decks of the ship. How badly have you been hit?
I assume I receive some
kind of communication like, what do you mean the
torpedo loaders are rioting right now?
Tell them! Tell them to
if they don't like how they're being treated
or how they're being fed, they can drive
that torpedo themselves.
Give me a leadership test.
I assume I, as he's making this test,
I assume I hear it and I'm like,
you know, just doing all my psychic stuff or whatever.
And I'm still
enhanced and all that stuff, so I look
for it and Zedek goes, I bet it was
the Beef Kings! Those guys
are dicks!
Beef Kings!
Beef Kings!
Give me that leadership test.
I do, it's a seven of the glory.
Seven of the glory, excellent.
A nice and another glory. Okay,
you, Captain Zedek, start getting in
reports that
aren't really
that good.
Namely, like your macro
cannons are firing at maybe
maybe half efficiency
to what they should be based on the crew
you have there. Well, there aren't
riots. There appear
to be a lot of squabbles
going on in the lower decks.
Particularly, a
large contingent of the
Prometheum Huffers haven't shown
up to their scheduled stations,
which has left some
of the weapons undermanned.
And
when you try
searching for some of the
tech updates on status of the ship,
much of the battle
updates are kind of interspersed
with incoming
reports from
Gamu4224
and her ongoing list of repair
requests.
Knowing that
the Menials are squabbling again
and especially the Prometheum Huffers have not
shown up to work, I
will take this chance to get on the intercom.
Yeah, clicks
on.
Attention, Menials of the Munition Deck.
This is your captain, Zedek speaking.
Whoever can get
to their stations and fire
upon these heretics and
blow the most up will get
a 5% pay
raise. You have
60 seconds
to comply.
After Janus.
Okay, go.
Okay, okay.
Give me another leadership test for your
ordering of your lovely
Menials, please.
Another 7?
7's good.
You can tell that people are moving
your weapons. You're seeing
the little counter of weapon
efficiency go up and up and up.
It's slowly gone from yellow
to green.
Money makes the world go round.
Sir, we have an inbound flight
of void fighters
from the surface heading towards us.
They appear to be bombers.
Shit. Where is Captain
Caldeus? Did we manage to repair his ship?
No, sir. You brought him
on board and he went to the Medicaid wing.
Oh, right.
Captain Zedek may have drank
a little too much.
Make sure the flight suit isn't
cutting off circulation. Maybe we should
get that off you, sir.
No, fashion forward. Look on page
732 of Zedekit. It's
there.
I look at page 732. Is it there?
Pull out your copy of Zedekit.
Oh, yeah. There it is.
Fashion forward. Always wear a void suit to cover
up embarrassing. Hey, what's on the next
page? Also, I like that Zedekit
has over 700 pages.
It's longer than
War and Peace.
I enjoy that. I
enjoy the image of Brain hearing
Is that actually in there? You know, I don't
know if any of you have seen this piece of art.
There's this towel looking at this book like
really fucking confused
of how to melee.
Excellent.
But yeah,
Lieutenant Ransom turns to you, Captain Zedek.
Sir,
we aren't really equipped to deal with
bombers, sir.
We never did make a requisition
for anything other than Arvis
Lighters.
Put a gun on
Arvis Lighters.
Lorne raises his hand.
Yes, Lorne.
I guess if you look at me,
I'm like vibrating with psychic energy.
I don't understand it,
but it's like
lightning's going everywhere. A little bit of awe, a little bit of shock.
Like, okay.
It's like, hey, hey.
It's just, wait, I just have to do things.
Sir, I would like to voice an objection.
Hey, hey, hey.
I can help. I can help.
I can zap him out the sky, maybe.
I can probably start smiting from out of space.
Did you see what I just did?
Did I see what he just did?
Yes.
It was on the side of the ship.
Just imagine this, Hulki.
Imagine, like, a ginormous
bullet, like, about ten stories
high or something, got like an inch
close to the bridge windows,
got turned around and
plummeted back to the planet.
Lorne, that was really, really
impressive. And I
kind of want to let you do this,
but I kind of don't want to
fight the forces of chaos on the bridge.
Let me out. Let me out. Let me out.
Let me go outside.
I'll be the fighter. I'll be the second
flyer.
Ransom, what are our other options?
Do we have any other options?
Um, well, we can
fire...
skyscraper-sized
ammunition at them and hope they can't
dodge and that they have really bad pilots.
No!
We cannot shoot a skyscraper
at them. I have another
plan. Let me do it.
We have two of the slightest
fighters, the horrible
things, the boxes, those
things. We have two of them, right?
We should have
two left, yes?
The ammunition's not very good. They aren't really
that equipped. I know.
But they are very heavy.
We autopilot
two of them onto a ramming course.
It's the only way!
No, it is not! Do you ever want to go to a planet
ever again?
I am not
as much as I put...
They're getting close! And, like, you can see this
wing of fighters coming out
of the atmosphere towards
this five point
of bombers
making their way, streaking
through the purple atmosphere
towards the Death Collector. I'm rushing up to Zedek.
I rush up to Zedek and grab his shoulders
and I'm like, let me go. Yeah, and there's this, like,
tinge as you do it.
Let me go, Zedek.
Let me win.
Wait.
Lorne. I'm gonna throw Lorne out the airlock.
You're in the Medicaid
wing, sir!
That was a great thing. He just knows that.
He just has some psychic awareness
somehow that something terrible
is about to happen that Lorne may be involved in.
Ah, boy.
Something stupid's going to happen, isn't it?
You have to put these bionics
in me so I can
fight and slay those heretics.
That is the idea!
I imagine with the ship
shifting around that we are just sliding
through the Medicaid wing.
I'm, like, kneeling down, he's standing up,
and we're just sliding.
And, like, these bionics are garbage. You're giving him, like,
the equivalent of a metal peg leg.
I'm giving him two normal, like,
bionic legs because they're not
30-sized, so he's getting two feet.
He's getting three feet.
Beautiful.
An exclamation point will form
figuratively over Brain's head.
Lorne! Yes?
You are a genius!
I know I am. I rush to the airlock.
No, no, wait, no, wait, no, wait!
Zanuck!
I need you to do something.
Something I never thought I would ask you
to do.
I need you.
Oh, I...
To contact Gamu.
Uh-oh.
This is serious stuff, Zanuck. What you gonna do?
Tell her to go to the
communications relay
and follow
my example.
Lorne,
come with me. I need moral support.
Okay, I pat him on the back.
It's okay.
You're pretty on the inside.
I know.
Now, we must go to the communications
relay. We need your psychic
might to amplify our resonance.
Oh, okay.
I follow.
Zanuck, do you call for Gamu?
Zanuck will put his pride
aside and
go to hail Gamu.
And, like, as soon as you send the
message, this elevator pops up on the
side of the, uh, the strategium deck
right by the communications
wing, and shuffling on
is Tech Priest,
Gamu4224.
Ah,
I see you have finally
deigned to listen to a higher
intelligence. Good.
Just imagine the washer
fucking machine
drawer that's under her running
everything, every step she
takes. Are Pi and Lorne there
or have they fucked off to the communications relay?
Uh, I'm assuming that, like,
very quick, like, the communications
relay would probably
still be part of the strategium on this ship.
So it's just, like, a higher level up here.
Uh, so when you rush up there,
she just comes out of this elevator
to meet you and says that.
Yes, I have
come to a
point where I must put my pride aside, you
sardonic server cabinet.
And I must ask you for your aid.
Pi has some sort of idea
and we need your assistance.
Ah, an Emuria idea!
This should be
amusing.
Hmm...
Pi is just
crushing, like, whatever he's
holding onto in his hands
as he just hears Gamu shit-talking
Lemuria.
It's okay, Brain. It's okay.
Just ignore it.
Please tell me your tech meme!
Gamu!
Yes?
We are
currently in crisis. Bombers are
incoming, and if they
get their bombing run off,
all precious technology
will be obliterated on this vessel.
Now you have one option.
We are going to
disrupt their targeting
systems via a
litany joint between the
two of us. It disgusts me
as much as it
terrifies me. Meanwhile,
our Psyker shall be able
to lift our electronic disturbance
into the aether and allow
us to manipulate the noosphere.
Basically, long story short,
we need to yell at
the fighter pilots until they
crash!
I will do this
on one condition.
Name your price.
The litany
will be a Gryar litany.
You ask too much!
Too much!
Lemuria litany!
I put my hand on Brain's shoulder.
Brain, it's either this,
or I'm going outside and I'm gonna zoom
zapping people with molten beam.
That'd be stupid. Okay, Gryar.
Let's go.
Alright, along with the
inevitable raft point you have to spend
on this, Pye Brain,
please explain your bullshit plan
and what dice rolls you would like
to use.
Oh god.
This is cooperative roleplaying.
Please, tell me your plan.
Bullshit plan.
So, we are going
to sub and forth the canticles
of the Omnissiah, utilizing
the communication relay to spread
them out through the noosphere and
electronically interface with
the targeting
systems or piloting systems
of these fighters. In doing
so, we hope to make the machine spirits
rebel against the users and
disrupt their
general flight plan, their targeting,
whatever, if we can get them to crash, overload,
whatever. All good in our book.
The plan is to
do this via our chanting
and our supplication of the machine spirits.
Meanwhile, we
are having Lorne as a
basically as another
antenna, hopefully using
his psychic mastery and joining
with the rights, which he'll probably be
slurring and fucking up,
to hopefully broadcast
this signal even further than usual.
Basically an aggressive shroud song.
My plan was to basically
be Iron Man and fly through space
and mold and beam people in a white suit.
I was pretty excited
about it.
Well, get fucked,
sir.
All right, all right. I
will allow all of this bullshit
because why not?
I think Reeb's still working on the Space Marine.
I don't know if he has to make any checks or something.
We're gonna get
to the bionics.
I don't want him to get forgotten.
No, no, no, no.
Real quick.
I will allow this.
We will start with a psychic mastery
test from Lorne.
Then that will still be
unbound because it's still the same
scene. And this
psychic mastery test will
let's say
have a DN of 7
to act as the proper
mystical
warp-powered conduit.
I'm going to use
four glory.
There will be
another test after this.
I'm going to use three
so Brain can use three on his end.
If that's
good with the party, is that okay?
All right.
So we're going to do that in one,
two, three.
Don't worry, I'll roll the two dice after this.
Psychic mastery, go!
Here it comes. I got an eight.
Let's roll the two extra die here.
Let's see how much to screw this up.
One's a six.
One's a one.
But the other one's a four.
That's fine. Roll me 2d6
now, again.
That's the one. I already added all the bonus stuff
onto that one.
The 2d6 you're rolling there,
that's the
extra wrath dice.
So you got a one on one of those three
wrath dice, which means you get apparels.
So now you have to roll me the apparels result.
I'll make sure. Forty-six.
Forty-six.
Is there any...
I know we have some submissions.
I don't know if it'll work or not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we do have submissions,
and I'm just pulling those right now.
I've been waiting on this one.
I've been sitting on this one.
Oh no.
All right, let's hear it.
This is from
a fellow, Robert P.
It is entitled...
It is a warp-related phenomenon
called Little Furry Frog.
Son of a fuck.
A small furry frog
appears periodically in the
vision of all
of the players and important NPCs
in this scene.
It does no actions
other than ribbit occasionally.
However, all players
respect
and acknowledge that the frog
outranks Zedek, even on his
own ship. If they
choose to interpret the croaks and ribbits
as orders, that's
the end of the story.
This is the best one.
I don't get it.
Okay, it's good.
This is the best one.
Its name is...
The name of the
submitter is Robert P.
Also, the end, which I
did not quite get to,
its name is Bortrand.
Bortrand?
Bortrand.
Because he outranks Bortrand, so he's Bortrand.
Bortrand.
All right, all right.
So you, Lauren,
you manage to channel
all of this psychic energy
blasting out this wave, and
as you do so, that's
when you see this frog
that's on the unit
that both Gamu
and Piebrain are beside.
It just, like, looks up at you,
like, sends its head to the side.
Ribbit.
Yes.
Yes, because I'll do my best.
I'll superior,
and I continue to do what I'm doing.
Yeah, sure. Okay, so
Piebrain,
you see,
you also see this, but you see that you
now have a proper channel.
I'm going to ask you to make a
tech rule for me.
The DN on this will also be
seven, because it's very
difficult. I'm assuming you're going to want to pump
some glory into it? I absolutely
am pumping the rest of our glory.
All right.
For Lemuria!
Raya.
You did get a
wrath, by the way, so you're at the full wrath.
I think so. I'll spend a wrath
here.
Raya.
Lemuria!
Okay, okay.
I'm Messiah!
And as, like, you do this, and you see
this streak of torpedoes come
flying towards the debt collector,
and at the last possible
minute, they
seem to be disrupted, and
some of the fighters break off, or the
bombers break off from one another, as though
they're scattered, and their sensors
are all sorts of
jumbled by this great
litany of Grian
superiority that is being blasted
towards them. And
as this is going on, you can see the fighters
again sort of break off in
various formations, but Pie
and Zedek, you also know that Gamu's
attention seems to be on the Khan, so
Yes! I've
got it!
And of course, you, you
as a captain, will listen to my
reports!
Ribbit.
Wait! You mean to tell me that
Gamu and me
should stop arguing
and work together as
mechanics? That would never work!
Who are they talking to?
Ribbit.
Oh. Perhaps.
We then cut back to the infirmary
as, as Captain Caldeus is shaking
his fist.
What can you do?
As Crazy Kid Zedek
is shaking his
entering
his
entering
his
enter
it's
orange
yellow
orange
is
pale
And
you
and
you
into into the area and like somehow you have just enough knowledge of the stardies
to to perform this haphazard surgery and you just see see caldeus shaking as the ship shakes under
continued barrage this this is this is what i need to fight again then so weird it'll be
out very soon captain just a quick moment and we're going to slide past both him and me just
slide past like a surgical tray that i'll pull like a syringe off of and then i good good what
what is your name again i am reed van horn i'm an inquisitorial acolyte my lord what what is this
inquisitor the inquisition is a how much time do you have captain it's quite long
and then you slide back the other direction as the ship moves i i have as long as as you have
to place these bionics on me so i may go
glorious combat for to honor my lead sanguineus do i have a gauge on how long i had to explain to
him just sad crying yeah he's starting to sad cry now um i mean you've got a bit of time
suffice it to say my lord the inquisition was first developed uh as a force to help ensure that
no further hostile incursions occur be that from the xenos or the heretics or indeed the
malign entities that we know so very little love
it sounds like a like a noble noble organization oh very much so this is the insignia you would
often see i will hold up my inquisitorial rosette to kind of show what we need to look for
it bears many hallmarks to that of the sigillite soda
perhaps there were one and the same at one point i cannot say for certain i
am not a history buff sadly but you are a skilled physician someone who helps people with your
medicine this is good this is needed it will get my legs fixed so i may go into battle yes
regrettably it appears as though the captain did not get enough good quality arms so we'll have to
order a specialist startian model as soon as we are able but until then i'm gonna inject his leg
to numb the pain a bit
what yes of course of course i i can fight one-handed all i need is my sword
well it looks like a good sword so i believe you should be able to
here give it a give it a whirl how's it feel
how does this look by the way i have no i assume that it's like one leg like with a like you know
bionic foot facing forward and one leg that's on backwards facing back so it's like a bionic foot
it's kind of like this t-shaped leg that he has now oh very good i've accidentally created a
chaos raptor fantastic yeah yeah yeah sure it works the balance is a bit off but i i can get
used to it thank you reeb van horn of the noble emperor's inquisition of course my lord as always
deferent to your direction now let's get you squared away shall we to the bridge and he like
pauses
sword and raises it i
smashing a bunch of the ceiling lights
what the hell are they doing up there
uh we cut back to the bridge now uh where the the fighters bombers have have now broken off
uh and all of the the sort of psychic phenomena that have happened around the
around the communication section have ceased occurring the boar trend has disappeared
oh
so you mean to tell me that in the end
the one true hope for peace is vanquished
crya and lemuria are still at war without bartrand there will never be peace
just hear any of this conversation going yes of all of this
for my like off-screen
and my brain really like
oh my god
something else
trying to do it
i know that i should have more pressing concerns to be dealing with or anything i have a random
ha and after the death of board i gotta take off my hat and put it to my chest and cry
a little bit
i think a отвеч amel donate instruction
on 25
his
he's a better frog than you'll ever be
agreed
in this
kraja can agree with lemurya
i were going to the myriads
unanimity
to shumpscreen
And then you see Gamu start to walk off.
That's when you notice the wing of bombers
begins to reassemble its formation
and starts turning around.
Well, I'm sure whatever conversation you had
with Fortrand was riveting,
but I really could use your help again
because they are realigning to attack the ship.
Sir! Sir!
Yes, Ransom?
Sir, they're there!
And as Ransom begins shouting,
you see this streak of small lights
that careen towards the incoming bombers,
and each of them suddenly explode in pinpricks of light.
As another flight of fighters move by,
these ones, stained in slight golden livery,
coming under the shadow of an immense behemoth,
a battleship that has entered the scene,
the magnum orum victorium of Katja van Noord.
Ah!
And just as this happens,
Reeb comes on the bridge and sees this.
Ah, good!
I see that finally went through.
Yeah, Lauren and Pye are just dancing,
they're like square dancing or something.
Yeah, we're just square dancing or something,
holding hands.
We all are gonna be alive!
Finally!
Now that Reeb has made the scene,
can I roll to euthanize Captain Zedek
for the ribbiting, you know, little bit there?
You can try, good luck.
I roll to end his life for natural causes.
Damn.
Yes!
Sir, we have an incoming hololithic transmission
from Katja van Noord, sir!
Open the feed, Ransom.
All right.
Um...
Do-do-do-do-do-do...
And, um, you know, there's...
There's a bit of, uh, distortion that occurs,
and then this hololithic image appears,
and you see Katja van Noord appear on the hololithic display.
Greetings, servants of the Crusade.
I present digital hugs to each of you, she says.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Then a hug, hard gloves, and kisses.
Blow it up!
We can fight later!
There's no time for this!
We have dealt with the orbital situation here
as we have detected you under attack,
but what is the ongoing problem?
Well, it turns out...
Oh!
Uh...
Yes, I believe I have someone who could summarize that
very easily.
Captain!
I'm turning to, uh, our good friend...
Uh, Captain Caldeus, who I have brought along with me,
who is now sporting a Chaos Raptor leg.
Great ex-servant of the Emperor, I am Captain Caldeus,
formerly of the Blood Angels of Skondra,
to the use of the Citralite.
There are traitors on this planet,
and they must be dealt with.
I see.
I see.
I...
Not enough for you, Miss Van Nod?
Uh, where are these traitors located?
Uh, everywhere.
I point at the planet.
It's there.
But it is more complex than that, Miss Van Nod.
This planet has the means of producing technology
lost since the ancient heresy.
They can produce specific weapons and armaments,
uh,
glass guns and void armor
that are above the mean of our average fort worlds.
Therefore, they must be destroyed in such a way
that does not demolish the possibility of reproducing these essential assets.
In...
In the days of the Great Crusade,
my father, Sanguinius, and the...
the...
the War Master, before he was War Master,
liberated this world together.
And the Blood Angels and the Lunar Wolf,
took down.
And their planetary people fell in line.
One side venerating those of my father,
and one...
venerating him.
It appears those other ones have...
have taken control of this planet.
Those who followed the War Master must be purged.
I...
see.
The issue is...
is that those who followed your, uh,
liege, Captain,
appear to have degenerated into mutants obsessed with storing and obtaining blood.
I believe this culture must be entirely reformed.
Perhaps you could help guide it.
Perhaps.
But...
But it'll...
We must deal with those traitors.
Yes, yes, yes.
We must deal with the traitorous threat.
I suppose...
I shall begin landing...
detachments from my...
my regiments.
Captain Zedek, I believe you have regimental troops on board your vessel as well.
Right you are, Lady Mataratum.
My repo men are the finest at picking apart anybody's belongings that have been left behind.
All we need is a transport.
And yes, I can send over troop transports to assist...
Have you your new regiment ready for deployment?
Of course, Lady Mataratum.
I would like to get on the comms and hail...
Belba.
And, like, as you go to reach, the cardboard box in the corner of the room gets tossed over.
All right, we're ready.
Belba!
Belba, how the hell did you get in here?
Oh my god!
What's the cardboard? We don't use cardboard!
Don't be a fool. Of course we do.
Of course we do.
That's a really...
That's a...
That's a lore question I want answered.
Does cardboard even exist in 40k?
Yeah, but it's probably called, like, Carbidarium or something.
Yeah, like...
No, it's called...
It's called...
You know how there's, like, polycrete?
This is papercrete.
Yeah.
Duh.
And if you all keep, just once more, either turn your game up, like, a smidge or so...
I'm trying as hard as I can.
Yeah, it's...
It's just that your levels are, like, super low.
I'm just trying to help chat out, because you're, like, a little lower than that.
But yeah.
But yeah.
When we see her die...
Ah!
She's here!
We're ready.
We can land at any point.
Yes!
Yes!
I shall dispense through transport.
And also, given the circumstances on this world with these terrifying traitors, I have
only one thing I can suggest doing.
The opening of bonus points for those who...
Bonus points!
With the traitors at the top of this conspiracy!
Go forth, servants of the Crusade!
Topple this government!
Brain!
Brain!
It's Christmas!
It's Christmas!
Are you going to grab the captain?
You're going to love this bonus point shit.
As well, please make sure to destroy the walls and the structures that are white, in particular.
Please make sure they are destroyed.
Very, very well.
I'm pleased on a biohazard suit when you do so.
I don't think it would be wise to breathe that in.
If possible, avoid bombing the Mechanicum or Manufacturums.
They have information that could add years of stability to this sector once we reclaim it.
I shall entrust you with defeating the horrid nobility that reigns here
while my troops deal with their primary installations.
We shall clear a way for you to pierce into those dark, dark depths of their leadership for points.
In the name of Lemuria, Sanguinius, and points, it shall be done.
And with that, we're going to take our first break for the day.
All right. We'll be right back, everyone.
Be sure to tell everyone that we're live and all that fun stuff.
We will be right back.
Yeah, it'll be great.
Let's go on.
Great.
Tell your friends, tell your family, make them watch the show.
We are back.
Everybody, welcome back to Warhams after our little short break,
even though you're probably on the podcast version.
It was like just like half a second.
So, hello.
We are back and we are ready to destroy the heretics.
We are. We are.
We are. In fact, let's update the scene.
And look, I did.
That did Zoran does a good job with all these backgrounds.
No, I'm at the burning building.
Well, it's fair.
It's fair for our canon.
All righty.
So we we don't quite cut to them on the surface of Skargaris Prime yet.
Instead, we cut to the march towards.
The hangar deck, the party is preparing.
Captain Zedek, you're at the forefront of your compatriots and behind you
is a full regiment of ratlings led by Belba Creepfoot.
They march in a semi-unified arrangement, many crunching on potatoes and onions,
some with slung lasguns because only lasguns are on the ship over their shoulders.
Other readying slings with rocks.
Oh.
Soldiers, you are the finest that I could possibly afford under circumstances, but I have the utmost faith that Belba Creepfoot has trained you well.
Are you clear on your mission?
Crunch.
They crunch in response.
Just eating, eating onions, raw onions in response.
To give them a rousing speech.
Half of them.
Potatoes for every kill they get.
Well, potatoes for every kill.
I don't think you can afford that.
We can't afford that many potatoes.
I can help.
I can help out.
Zedek, would you allow me?
Lord, I don't know how much you plan to offer them, but I don't think I can afford to pay them more than potatoes.
Oh.
Damn, you are cheap.
As this is going on, Captain Caldeus has come up beside Belba Creepfoot and he looks down at her.
Hmm.
You, I respect.
You remind me of a young, um, Raven Guard by the name of Sherekin that I once knew.
Belba just gives a nod, turns, looks back.
We're gonna do good here.
We're gonna, we're gonna fight.
Just cause we're small doesn't mean we can't fight.
And there's like, all of these like, nodding from the Rattlings.
Many of them still crying.
Hmm.
Many of them still crunching.
Uh, Caldeus turns to the, to the rest of you, but centers on Reeb.
Reeb Van Horn of the Glorious Inquisition.
Yes, sir.
I, I bid you and your allies good tidings in the fight to come.
I will go with these small ones.
Very good, Captain.
I wish you good luck with your endeavors, and if you manage to make it through, please do meet up with us again.
I believe we could have a very good time.
I believe we could have a very important spot with you amongst us.
However, there's no guarantee any of us will survive now, is there?
Reeb will smile and clap his hands together.
There is no power in the galaxy that can destroy our spirit.
Our survival is incidental.
What matters is our will to succeed.
That right.
But...
That is a fair assessment.
As I, as I once heard, only, only in death does duty end.
Now let us go.
Come, Belba.
Then they nod, she nods, and the rest of the Ratlings take a turn off towards this immense troop lander,
while the four of you go towards this rickety Arvest Lighter that's in the hangar waiting for you.
All right.
All right, gentlemen.
We have a great deal ahead of us.
Let's get to it.
I'm just really appreciating the image of, like, a shit-ton of Ratlings,
Rattling Solid Snake, and this fucking no-armed Space Marine Captain with a fucked-up leg.
Yes.
Leading them into battle.
If any image sums up this fucking campaign, it is that.
Yes.
It's fine.
Um, you, you carry on, and outside the, the, the rear hatch of this Arvest Lighter are two servitors.
Um, one of which has the, the designation of Joseph Egan and the other Army Bro Two.
Yeah.
Keep naming those servitors, man.
I love it.
Captain Zedek stops the party for a moment after we greet the servitors.
Mm-hmm.
Gentlemen, down below on that hellhole of a planet, we will be facing a combat more bloody than we have faced on the other wretched hellhole.
I want you to know that, though we may not survive, it will be an incredibly thrilling and memorable experience that they will tell tales of us for decades to come, assuming we live.
But if not, know that I have utmost faith in your abilities to lay waste to these poor and hapless miscreants who have wronged us and insulted our honor.
As the Imperial Repossession Service.
As the Imperial Repossession Squadron.
It's tax day.
Let's go collect.
That's duh, boys!
I cock my staff and a shotgun shell comes out.
I get inside the Arvest Lighter.
Yeah, I got, I got a lot of silver there.
Gonna cock my plasma gun.
Stop doing that!
If you keep it up, I shall take it away from you.
No, it's mine.
Stop cocking the damn plasma gun!
Is this R.D. Day? It's, it's T-Day? Just tax day?
Tax day!
Battlefield 1942 theme playing in the background.
Yes.
I'm gonna come and got to drop, man.
Army Bro goes into the, into the cockpit while Joseph Egan prepares the back of the vessel.
Army Bro seals the back hatch and Joseph Egan steps away.
And then Army Bro 2 turns around.
Strap in.
I have been provided litanies with which to chant during our voyage into the Atmosphere.
Ahem.
Gria, Gria, Gria, Gria, Gria...
I hit it.
Overcharged plasma.
We, we...
I like how we merely murder Hobo the Servitor.
I like how we merely murder Hobo the Servitor.
um so you were supercharged firing pyro i want to i want to spend too much time doing it so just
normal i inject brain with chloral hydrate yeah okay so suffice to say after like all of you
jump at the chance this servitor's murdered and we just time skip forward like 20 minutes to
captain zedek in the cockpit now the charred servitor body beside him he's just doing that
obi-wan like like behind the scenes things of him just go do do do do do just like doing the
joysticks left and right says casual flying in brain i need to stop killing the servitors
now they need to stop talking about forgewell greyer we only have so many resources we can
keep making these things you know we're there to tell a bunch of people brain are you really
eating right now can you eat i was refreshing my systems with chlorinated water what about
that
to kill a bunch of people we can make servitors out of that or whatever
that exact line you burst through the the purple clouds into a full-on war zone tracer fire coming
from the sides of hive cities as several valkyries and troop landers are coming through the um
through the upper atmosphere the valkyries launching out of the side of those troop carriers
some of which you can even see in the distance are clearly open backed with stormtroopers shooting
down fire into the sides of the hive spire where these marble compact soldiers raise their own
weapons up firing in return it's basically a light show rave going on all around hive zarkannon
with sections of it just pitch black well the upper hive remains a pristine ivory tone
i don't like that let's blow it up i take out my power sword remember your training
and you will make it out alive i won't rest till that white tower is blood angels red
i'll just prefer to be destroyed to be completely honest with you captain i've i've uh this
is lieutenant ransom sir yes lieutenant first of all sir i just want you to know that the
senior staff have been doing their duties diligently and none of us have been doing
anything outside of the bridge since this operation this operation has been going on
since this operation began
ransom i don't care what you do just make sure you keep gambling off the bridge
under understood sir second of all i have found a landing platform that your harvest
could use there are some enemy forces on the platform however sir they will need to be
taken out do you think you can handle some enemy troops
how can we handle them we have a bunch of people willing to murder someone at the drop
of a hat of course we need to get rid of them first we need to kill them first if we need
can handle them i assume zedek has like a posse of like some rattlings here with us
for look to look out sir i assume for his devotees his devotees is there is there a new
mashed potato uh i couldn't couldn't you just take we've had mashed potato brigade couldn't
we actually take some people from the taxman for fairness yeah of course okay yeah absolutely
uh tell us about your uh your devotees that you have brought with you zedek oh son of a bitch i
had a list of names i come up with but i lost them in the move all right okay okay i've got
a couple names bill bill two and ted no no no we have uh we have one we have fingerling who's a
bit skinnier than his stockier compatriots uh prefers to munch on skinnier and narrower potatoes
we have julian who is a bit portlier but you wouldn't be able to tell because they're all
just kind of the same thing
so these are more rattlings excellent yes they're more rattling than rattling uh uh we have what's
his name we call him twice baked because he's horribly scarred from a cooking accident but
it doesn't faze him from eating the same as he always does and of course my personal favorite
their uh regimental leader duchess little is known about duchess but he can make a very mean
mashed potato i also like to think that duchess has
two eye patches that are just over his actual functioning eyes yes i like it because you made
duchess potato i've had that before it's nice excellent uh yeah so so it's the it's the three
of you in the back seat and opposite you are the four rattlings who are all just like hug like you
know eating on more potatoes and stuff uh and checking their gear while they're sitting one
of them clearly looking down the barrel of their last gun no no that's the and i'm not going to
make the enemy look at don't don't point that at yourself oh okay the hurdy end goes towards the
enemy get him with the hurdy end okay that's you're doing so well i toss potatoes out of my
pocket to him here you go boys here's a fry little known fact they are incredibly trainable
captain zedek um you make your way down through the atmosphere
managing to avoid a lot of the heavy fire but you see the platform you're supposed to make your way
to you can't get a good look at how many figures are on it because of all the battle fog and stuff
but you you get a sense that you could put the arvis lighter just at the far end of it and
disgorge um disgorge your your fellow companions and yourself onto this platform you will however
need to make a difficulty five piloting check to get there without suffering any unexpected uh
damage along the way
i got a question actually how wide is this landing part this landing pad
um you don't you want to have it be as big as like like imagine like an episode
two or something of like or like camino you know how like those landing pads are 18 it's an 18
meter circle roughly jesus that's big yeah think of that it's a big right can there are enemies
to the captain okay can i lean over to the captain real quick captain what if it's possible
to have a bit of a skid do you think you know reeve i was thinking the same thing you know
these harvest ladders are just terribly clunky it happens all the time unfortunately i would
like to attempt to splatter whoever is on the landing pad it was a good drift captain
okay that's why there's a break on this thing that's going to increase the the difficulty of
the piloting check to eight can i spend four glory we have we have a lot of time to think about this
we have a lot of time to think about this we have a lot of time to think about this we have a lot of
we are full on glory use all of it i will spend six glory to do this absolutely hell yeah let's
let's let's see the complication let's get to it we've been waiting i can't wait until we overshoot
the landing pad and die like well thanks for coming to war funny story my last dark heresy
campaign i ran the only character death that ever happened was a was a plane crash going to 66
i tried to do a bonus i just didn't want to yeah you've already clicked on the role but it's okay
it's all good all right so you have a five currently so you're doing good all that glory
three more okay so you have one two three just oh can i spend my remaining rap dot oh i have two
draft die okay no you win unless you're one of them you hit it you hit it oh all right so here's
what happens you come to the end and you win you come to the end and you win you come to the end
down on this thing and you can see there are squads of soldiers uh what looks to be three
squads two five-man squads and a 10-man squad that's holding up the arterial connection path
you start careening the arvus towards it and with that roll that piloting check i am going to let
you basically use your arvus to body check off one of the five-man squads and make a landing
i'm gonna say it's gonna be the north one right over here uh and you just come down
and land the arvus smashing these um this squad into into gelatin jelly and knocking them off the
side uh gm i would like to spend a raft i to make a narrative declaration what's your narrative
declaration i would like to retrieve a pair of sunglasses from my breast pocket put them on
and play some non-copyright infringing eurobee
as we skid across the platform acceptable um this is this is kind of the the the setup here
as your arvus has god we're getting a lot of mileage out of this crashed arvus
roaming past my fucking window too jesus so i this is what i'd like to imagine that so i can
fit in the thing here i imagine arvus is coming down just slides into him and just like
just pretty much just splats him on the thing but i assume that we land and we return to where
the thing's gonna drop down and then we just engage in battle but yeah so so for that when
we get down and before the door that i speak comes in i come up the brain i go brain i've been i've
been wanting to save this for a while and i want to use my wrath point to make this a narrative
thing you know because it's so far-fetched and different that uh i pull out from my coat
a cartridge and i and i enter the brain like i don't know if you know what this is but i think
it's time let me see here i left off like i got to where his logo is on his chest lift it up plug
in the cartridge put it slam it down and brain now begins to hear doom the doom soundtrack play
and imagine his eyes will now slant down and turn red some kind of bfg division
i propose this to you because i'm basically assuming a lot for your person so do you want
that to happen what are you doing i don't rip and tear
and then it's just all of a sudden like we just hear it just vibrating from me so we hear the
music and i go brain rip and tear i'm going to run out of the ramp i'm running out the ramp
as you as this is all happening prior to this the arvis has come down and there's that squad to the
north all laid out pristine on the landing pad new arvis just body chucks them sending them flying
off the side down miles to their deaths and as as the arvis makes this this intrepid landing with
captain zedek we cut back to the debt collector where tater tot has crashed into another tower
of blocks and goes yeah yeah and then turns and then turns and then turns and then turns and then
turns and that's when we see the two servitors turn and recreation time is over and then we cut
back to to lauren putting this soundtrack into pie brain with rip and tear and we see you know
tater tot just looks up at the the two servitors and narrows his eyes and begins to drive the trike
away and then we cut back to this with rip and tear uh pie brain it's it's a traditional the
cartridge is a traditional
murian war song
all right so we are we are in combat uh lads and gents um i will set the scene really quick for you
you can see a squad of soldiers basically over here this big 10 man there's a squad of five down
here the one uh with the the bluish coloration over here uh that token uh appears to be holding
some kind of plasma based weapon and over here
this one we have here but here these two red ones are setting up behind this tank trap
but here these two red ones are setting up behind this tank trap
with a heavy bolter that they have positioned and mounted uh really quick i'm just going to share
with a heavy bolter that they have positioned and mounted uh really quick i'm just going to share
this art piece and then give a bit of a description of what these soldiers look like for
this art piece and then give a bit of a description of what these soldiers look like for
what these soldiers look like for everyone watching at home
everyone watching at home
everyone watching at home um they have these sort of like sea green
um they have these sort of like sea green
um they have these sort of like sea green look this carapace armor these
look this carapace armor these
look this carapace armor these large brimmed hats it looks like the the
large brimmed hats it looks like the the
powerful void armor that you previously seen maybe wasn't as um prevalent as they let on
though the las guns are of exquisite quality and they they've set up basically like a semi
barricade with sandbags and crates and tank traps all along to prevent a a real like forced attack
like you're making um so in combat the players can decide who would like to act first who would
like to act first i i i would propose i would propose so i can bomb actually no brain i i vote
brain and then i in chat just give us a glory point so i like to use a glory for me to go second
and then reeb and zedek can start hammering down on another squad because i'm going to blow
some people up yeah is that okay with everybody yeah sure okay awesome so brain
you're a full help by the way you might want to change your thing oh yes yes indeed don't be
bad
i won't explode instantly so here's my question yes can i jump onto these tank traps and attack
people like which ones can you pick them yeah yeah like if i were could i be on this or could
okay great uh you could you could get by there basically you could attack
through it um they they just get a defense bonus from it
you know what i'm not going to charge
i'm going to be behind this
and as the as the fucking radiation and plasma begin coiling in my gun
multi-shot i'm gonna take out the heavy bolter team sure
all right absolutely
uh one second get a fucking youtube notification shut up i want to roll my dice
okay
uh oh oh oh and that's a complication with that complication and a miss we're gonna um uh use a
wrath here sure certainly sadly use that chat did refresh everyone's wrath so everyone well
zedek you used one i used one and now brain used one brie we have two okay um so the three will
just hit um the the weapon however will still complicate
um so all right the complication here i would like to thank one robert g for this one
uh brain you get up there you have your plasma gun you take the shot uh you fire it oh wait you
were multi-targeting weren't you yep um yeah that's gonna still miss sorry dog uh can i use
the glory that lord is gonna use no no
okay
i'm gonna explode man um so for the complicate so your your your bolts of searing plasma goes
veering off because when you get to that that uh that area right behind this crate as you're
advancing towards this this whole barricade of guards suddenly a piece of wood comes up and
smacks you right in the face oh wait when you realize that you've stepped on a rake
it wouldn't be possible
and and the blast goes wild and flies off um and that would be your round um since i'm a monster
hey um hey hey uh zoran can you knock me down a rune okay would me because i'm
are you are you are you spending a glory yeah okay never mind then don't knock me down the
just spend your glory and go
yeah
yeah
User
Okay, so long running up
front up behind the crate
get up right. And he has to get up this space. He's wanna start because he's behind it.
It's weird because the grids
um
begin
he gets behind the crate, And as I have important to the vehicle not down
It's not down
and I need the check on the right because I said that should have done this before I went in Oh yeah, I'm definitely Ihnen range I'm going should be do flame breath.
ะ
Oh, okay. I don't know how much playing birth I think it that still like I'm just number of standards seriously if anyone gets this fucking Myers will pop right now I'm enraged
like i target an area and it just explodes yeah here so so yeah flame breath um got got changed
basically what you now do is you get a five meter line is what it is so how this works
so this is flame breath not molten beam yeah yeah no no no so how flamers work now is you do a line
so you do like five okay and then for every icon to help out with this flame breath is extremely
different because it's like a super long distance one it's not like a flamer it's like a unless they
specify flame but it's completely different because if so then i have to choose something
completely different now um yeah they've they've changed flame breath so that it's a okay basically
a five meter range but then you can arc it so you could do like this type of stuff and
oh
now it's useless to me so i'm not gonna do that uh let's see if you want a longer range thing
then molten beam is the 10 meter sort of yeah yeah yeah which i'll probably have to go up one
more correct yeah yeah let's see here which would leave you in the open with no cover
yeah so which is lauren's favorite place which is yeah exactly which i would die yeah i would die
ebony so i'm staying in this nice full cover crate because we're not going to get to that
yeah
heavy bolter team for a while i'm just gonna molten beam the squad with the uh
with the plasma gun okay yeah so you can tag three of them with the molten beam um
i still have to add in my unboundness do right no no no this is a new scene so you can choose
how much you want to do uh remember though for every shift you do you can also increase the
the range by uh 10 meters on molten beam so that's it but make the psychic test and then
we'll see what happens we will see second mastery test go molten being
uh you've also got um two extra wrath face in there for some reason yeah i don't know why
actually uh yep yep i saw it in there it's all good you'll still hit we'll get the complication
uh okay so uh your molten beam will will go out you you won't be able to shift because their
defense is higher because they're behind
cover so you're gonna basically be able to tag the three of those yeah yeah sorry uh you'll hit
you'll you'll you'll hit three yeah um oh gosh yeah so that's mostly going after my boy and it's
it's going to just mess up all three of those guys um so they're they're just they're they're
just dead they're yeah because it does an insane amount of damage so it does they they they melt
and they're they're a mob so they get nothing else so those three just go squish as your molten
beam flashes through and just vaporizes them uh as that happens though you do get a perils of the
warp so can you please roll me 2d6 and we'll see what happens here with that complication
excellent we're just gonna use the table 53
50s
oh okay and a greater demon shows up don't worry chat we already figured out the reptile thing
yeah uh an awful buzzing sound surrounds you drowning out all speech the drone penetrates
the minds uh all creatures with the psyker keyword within 10 meters if you make a dn4
intellect test so basically you uh give me give me a give me an intellect test oh cool
the thing i don't have wait what's your intellect
two
oh how do i get two sexes whoop nope nope uh so you failed so if you succeeded you would have
gained one wrath dice uh but you don't so instead you take 1d3 so you take one shock
as this droning sound just fills your head uh ah this droning sound is filling my head
ah
i think that it's
happening is happening to me no and you are staggered oh no i'm off balance when i run too
fast yeah when i'm staggered my speed is reduced by half i can't run or sprint unless otherwise
stated the staggered is at the beginning of the next round okay cool um so that's that's that for
you lauren i guess it's my go point of order before your turn begins yes i was overcharging
when i complicated it
so i need to take d6 mortal wounds oh i'll do that right now i will make you roll those mortal
wounds dear friend i didn't realize you were overcharging good i was point of order i double
checked because i wanted to make sure i was i didn't yeah fuck it let's see oh i know what's
happening and you're down i'm not down i got eight wounds
baby do you you my thing says six
okay so i need to edit that sheet then so if your stuff ever edits like that just tell me
so i can actually make the sheet correct oh sure sure that's because of the errata that came out
you all got bumped up so the words are probably thickening errata cool okay that's most of the
comedy i'm playing wrath and glory when it's in errata stage before it goes to print where it's
like things will happen and i i i can't stay on top of everything in the world so all right so
i'm gonna go this little squad over here they come up and they kind of form a a firing line of sorts
uh they all raise their las guns towards you pie brain
they they begin unloading a fusillade towards you but they are not trying to hit you
they are trying to pin you
so what's your resolve that's a very good question yes and you know i do have an answer
i just need to look at what it is and i'm distracting while i ah my resolve is two
okay oh wait no my resolve is three cool uh so they've they all begin firing
pew pew um three
my resolve is three yeah yeah perfect okay
so so yeah this this hail of um of like las fire comes out from the south towards you
smacking along the crate that you're beside um but you you get like noticeably panicked by by
all of this um it they it deals no damage however you are pinned until the uh the start of
of yeah their next turn so i will quickly show what pinned does to all of you bam uh there's the
the rules but essentially um you're going to be like stuck behind cover uh because these guys are
just keeping you in place with constant salvos and that's their go uh back to you guys uh do we
have to spend the wrath of movement nope no no no that's just if you want to seize and you're out of
those so okay is that it can i
can i go to help relieve uh good good good friend pie brain yeah go ahead uh
reba's going to move to this cover here okay and i'm going to flamer on these people because i
believe they are still within range yeah let's yes let us check the new flame rules and see
if they're all goody good here i think i think i'm still good based on what i read
yeah so
short medium and long so i think you're good because long is 12
yeah um so mid-range yeah so so yeah they're going to be mid-range so now it's just a line
so like you would do something like this and then you can arc it out a number of squares
to basically how many you shift so let's see so if i if i can shift
twice then you can hit all of them if you shift once you hit four of them okay well let's give
it a go
shot yeah i will now sweep the flamer uh got no no glory dice
all right that's the three uh will that suffice no it's not enough to shift i'm gonna spend my
last wrath on that please absolutely yeah you do have one wrath left someone did give you one so
you have one oh so i have i have one i have one now good oh there you go that's what i need six
glory yeah so
so you can you can shift the the one over which will hit four of them uh the damage i believe is
what 10 plus one uh i will roll that for you uh no bonuses no nothing so flamsh and that's and 11
yeah so with with 11 that's more than their uh their resilience they're they're a mob they have
one wound each you come up behind cover peek out and just as they're going to go you're going to
sort of pinning brain in place you just come around the corner and put four of them down with
your flamer now that does mean i'm out of cover technically from these idiots but you know i gotta
try a little bit does that stop them from pinning him um no the pin the pin remains in place however
there are other ways to get the pinning off such as a leadership test um yeah yeah okay
it's time to roll up and
smoke these fuck boys i'm gonna move up to where brain is uh you're not going yet oh yeah i get to
go again we did just get a whole bunch of glory so if you want to see the initiative if you would
like before the big mob goes i would be happy to seize the initiative and prevent our night
like his guitar is from dying one down yeah so what do you want to do with your turn and remember
one thing that's important to stress you guys you can do multiple actions like you could go
and leadership uh pie brain to get a mode of being pinned
and make an attack it's just for every multiple thing you do the dn for everything goes up by two
right how can i do a measure on this one india for people who don't know that's difficulty number
like the amount of successes we need to win that result
all right i would like to move up next to pie oh i'm still in measure mode
come on come on yeah you can do it you can't throw the ruler you gotta walk
I have to levitate over
I'm going to make a leadership test
four pines where I can get out of pin
and then attack the squad
that is here
nope
I'm all sorts of fucked right now
it's fine
better than last session
it's fine
okay so you're moving to there and then what are you doing
when you move to there
hitting a leadership test and then attacking afterwards
sweet
do that leadership test
it's going to be a five and a glory
well done
and a glory
alright so
that's just a regular
yeah this is a regular six
oh okay
however
a success
that is
the difficulty number is equal to the salvo of the weapon
which is not that high
um
and then plus one if they took any damage
which they did
but you're still more than enough
so you rally your pinned ally
and uh
pybrain is no longer pinned
my emergency systems refire
probably after that plasma explosion
and just
back at it
you're on your feet
you're not done murdering these hapless goons yet
my targets have been selected
we just got here
engaging lemurian execution
you're not done murdering these hapless goons yet
protocols
i may have made a mistake
i'm going to
now attack them with the arc pistol
um i do have to really quickly make a resolve test
for this one guy down here
because his entire unit was wiped out
and he could just run away
so i'm going to to roll that really quickly
to see if he runs away
where is the resolve on this this sheet
because i rarely use it
you can't do it i believe
he will run away just right now
trying to find the number
i will find the there it is
does he run away
oh dear god he runs
he he drops his last gun
panics and like cries behind the box
he's out of the combat
all right
like like marbled rye they are toast
fuck off
and on that note i'm activating the big squad
and we're firing a heavy bolter
because fuck you zedek
god damn it
was i allowed to not make a multi-action
oh sorry sorry sorry sorry
um just difficulty is increased
we spend a ruined
no no okay technically zedek you have to declare it at the beginning
because the difficulty of everything is increased
so the first check difficult oh shit
oh yeah yeah
yeah you already did it so
yeah it isn't for some reason say let's just say your turn turns on after you
yeah yeah moving on yeah yeah
okay um the the heavy bolter will fire
um it's going to multi-fire
wait he still hasn't shot yet because
just go ahead
no no no we're moving on
yeah yeah yeah yeah bolter time
um the heavy bolter team
they're gonna go first as part of this mob
they are going to do a do a multi-fire
they are going to fire once at captain zedek
and once at pybrain
now why would they do something like
because they don't like me
um so i will fire the difficulty number to hit you
um so i will fire the difficulty number to hit you
goes up by two so it's going to be your defense plus two
goes up by two so it's going to be your defense plus two
uh and we will see if they can hit you
they're going to get one bonus dice
and that is
whoop
i miss probably technically
with a three
you didn't hit a seven so i didn't get hit
yes my defense plus two is four
and i'm assuming zedek's defense is not one
no it is big
okay
the the other four in front however
are still mad at zedek for that pun
so they're going to
um join join lockstep
and not pin
but actually fire their lasguns
at you captain zedek
so your defense will get a plus two
because you're in cover
but that will be balanced out slightly
by the sheer number of extra dice they are getting from firing as a mob
pew pew pew
but i will probably miss it
so
because i got a four
and your defense is
actually no they'll hit you
but they can't shift or do anything
i mean he's wearing a void suit right
are you still in your void suit
shut the fuck up lauren
that means you should get more armor
uh you take one point of shock
cool
as you get like
as a lasbeam sears
right into your buttocks
slightly
making a tear into the
void suit
i do want to know how
a las shot
arced around my
my entire body it just came around
and hit me in the ass
lauren
lauren mark me down a rune point
alright
that's the end of the combat round
they have all done their stuff
so it comes back to you guys who would like to act now
i want my vengeance
i will let
pyre ring go
fucking with like smoke still billowing
from the gun putting it up taking
out the power sword
you know very like
claws at the ready
running jumping onto here
onto this tank trap
how far do you move boyo
i can move uh
six right okay yeah
you're good you're good i just double check
yeah i moved 200
inches and i go to the
terra i just run there
sicarian
execution initiative
approved
and i'm going to off with the heads of the
heavy bolter team okay so their
defense right now will be six
oh sorry five
wow yeah they're tough
well difficulty for
all of your checks goes up by one because you're injured
and they're behind cover
uh
would they be benefiting from cover if i am on
top of the cover yes in this
case yes damn
i probably can't get all of them then
i could try we have a lot of
glory if you want to try to you can spend like
three oh yeah that'll be true
yeah okay i'll go for uh
um and you were just giving a wrath so
oh yeah fair enough
yeah so i'll uh i'll uh i get one
from the charge so i'll spend three glory
on that to make a double attack on both of
them so i'll be needing difficulty number i'm
sorry that the guardsmen who are behind
behind like cover are hard to
hit you punk
make your attack you don't get
cover save so many attacks
let's
roll it
wow
with all that that's only six
we're gonna wrath that shit
my friend absolutely oh
no
oh that's an 18
and a glory
yeah there you go oh my
goodness
the
this hurts
you
i'm just gonna make that resolve
strike
to a great start
okay
and
they're gone they run they they
see you not only vaults
past them jump up onto
like balancing on top
of a tank trap
slashing down with your sword
probably like one fell swoop
decapitation on all three of them
and then turn and please
tell me the lemuria based speech
you will give the others that makes
them drop their last guns
your vital signs
drop your
blood screeches
the flesh
is weak
sorry
the flesh is weak
excellent job
i can
assume we all move up yeah
i'll help
gather the tokens here to make it
easier for you to the thing but
yeah i assume we all we're all moving
up
uh yeah so so you you
you all like start moving up um
really quick we will just cut away from
this combat zone to this
we are back uh you are you are starting
to run down this this concourse and you
can see over the sides of this concourse
that the the the war is spreading
across hives our cannon is
regimental guard troops
from the magnum aurum victorium
begin to spill out you can't quite get a
good look at what regiments they are
because it's far away
but captain zedek on your um
your void suit uh units uh caught like
you know small cogitator units you can
get
scans coming in from auger readings of
the various rattling units and tax men
you have deployed across the surface
at this point after the uh intense
nature of the beginning of the combat
you can see that some of your um
excuse me some some of the uh the new
taxman brigade have come out
having let you guys do all the work and
really are just here to soak up wounds
for you in case someone gets hit
um yeah so so you're you're seeing all
of this or any of you kind of commenting
on what's going on or what are you
thinking here
i look i looked at it wow that's neat
let's go grab that heavy bolter
doctor this platform requires repairs
yes
i'm going to
pull out my tool kit i'm going to yep
going to hit him with the tool kit
yeah give me a medicaid test i'm going
to get a five on the tool kit
oh
excellent i believe that will
i believe that will be enough to heal
tumors
yes
yes two wounds because you may shift one
so yeah you can heal two wounds back
yay
now i don't fucking die anymore
this is all happening as you're kind of
moving on uh
that's when you you reach the elevator
that um lieutenant ransom had warned you
before we get to the elevator yeah if i
can quickly interject before we go there
can i cast telekinetic dome real quick
absolutely
and i would like to with okay with the
party i like to dump two glory in there
so i can leave high in it so it kind of
so it kind of
so this way for you guys if you guys
forgot about it and also for chat
telekinetic is like a like a bubble that
soaks up mortal wounds it just
gives resilience to us all so that's
just me going defense mode
and i could keep sustaining it forever
really
pop that word of dawn big man
okay so and swoop
as i forgot to put the thing where are
those
uh let's see basically it's five
so yeah i could put one in there so
that'll be so you you actually you all
move up under the dome
of course this is this and i i did two
sorry i messed it up i messed up my
rolling i'm sorry
you beefed it okay that didn't do
anything and i'm going to spin
my wrath so i have no wrath to do the
rest of the re-rolls
which i also re-roll those two there
which will be
duh no successes on that and just one
more so that allows me to get to the
boost that i wanted so now it's just
basically up by
uh by one more so basically anyone
who's adjacent of me will now benefit
from this dome
okay perfect
okay so you you move up under the
protection of the dome as as lauren
you're you're maintaining you're seeing
like
shells and long-range fire like small
debris is blinking off the dome
um eventually though you you see another
squad another five-man squad of the
uh
marble compact soldiers that rush
towards you they've got their las guns
and and they're they're preparing behind
like a position and before any of you
can prepare you then hear this
the sound of like
and all the marble compact soldiers
start turning as they're
riddled full of bullets and you just
hear
from across this this
sheer of LOWER TOADS!
lower toads represent
gonna save the upper toads
the bigger toads
fucking gangers
I see them and I put my chest
going represent
let's go
this one
like
ganger comes up and meets you
right in front of the elevator
hide it
I'm from
the metro family
from lower toads remember me
yeah yeah I remember you
good to finally see you came up
to join the fight you ready to go
we heard
it was on so we got
our own equipment and we came up
yeah we're doing
the bit now we're doing the bit I need you to help
us out I need you to help charge forward
to the most deepest
parts of the enemy lines and start taking
them all out you got it
we're going to get rich we're going to get popular
we're going to get fancy wear fancy hats
we're going to be great
fancy hats
fancy hats
you hear that boys
fancy hats
what about
your ship do we uh should we look after
your ship yeah yeah make sure no
one messes with our ship and uh and
repair it if you got the means just make sure no one
flies off with it got it
in response to
metro looks at you and
cocks her las gun
all right and then turns
come on we go protect the ship and they like
rush towards the
that thing like
I love how you're like
I got psychic
bullshit to give me an example
but the last gun
suspension of disbelief
gone but my
broken game master
master's fucking
terrible
all right all right
so
um
you make your way into the elevator and you've been in this
elevator before it was the same one that took you
to your lovely apartment
complex uh you begin
heading up uh
over the elevator
and it it goes up through
various levels ding ding and there's kind of elevator
music playing in the background
what are all of you talking about
during this
what do you believe is the most efficient method of executing them
defenestration
uh lining them up against a wall and shooting them or
the fun part
yes
oh we could do all three
I'm hoping to get a really sick execution on today
something that will be really cool in a picture book for kids
indeed
could you hit him with another wrench to
heal him up again
I don't know if I can do that
I don't know if I can do that
I don't know if I can do that
I don't know if I can do that
I don't know if I can do that
I bless you with the power of the omnisci
even though I'm not a representative
bonk
I explode
healing is a complicated measure
I have to speak in Spanish for the rest of the episode
let's go
Dios mio
Dios mio
Goddamnit
Dios mio
Dios mio
People who actually speak the language are gonna just get really fucking mad at us
Los amigos de tiempo
All right man
All right
Let's
Oh talk like a pirate day too
Talk like a pirate
Pirate
It was made for you
This is your complication
It was made for you
It is talking like a pirate day
day today isn't it it is but but i have a i owe them uh talk like a pirate day episode later on
that's my my promise um oh gosh there is there is a a complication i have here um
um yeah let's let's go with um yeah oh gosh there is one here okay you have this situation
where your your language centers are a bit messed up um you have linguistic trouble you become
incredibly confused or something in your brain pi brain would speak in dubstep slash dial-up
or binary oh great those are
i will tell you when that when this effect ends thank you skull king zero six seven
so what's going on when does the
pie why are you making those noises
reeve i think you him a little too hard
um okay cool so the the elevator stops
and it opens
up into a hall and you know this leads towards kind of the the main reception area that you
are in
you know it's just a bit ahead this this immense chamber you were in where you had that dinner
previously with amalthea rubania pie raises his power sword proudly puffs out his chest
and then says
right we should change you to start going in a skin that's how you talking about it
okay
do i do i heal anything for that or did i just get a complication uh you would heal
one from that
and that so so you all like across the thresholds and find yourself in this immense chamber
and there are two rows of squads of marble compact soldiers holding last guns in fine
disciplined arrays each of them led by secondly another dick how much number of bones must
you consider to be fair since they said no sooner or later do you spend and Castle blade
by some sort of brute of a uh a brute of a commander in front of them which has like a
shock maul um and here i will very quickly show you the art of this one
i like that yep there's the boy the boy and there's two of them one
but further past these two squads arrayed proudly before you is a series of thrones which have
clearly been installed in this utterly ivory room and like sitting in the throne is a figure you've
seen before except this time she is dressed in a different color of attire and you just hear
booming probably vox augmented why hello there
welcome back to half zuck hannon
yeah what he said go fuck yourself i will speak for mr mr brain on this situation
it is by no means a welcome visit
whatever do you mean you have survived the trials on the the moon outpost surely you understand that
that our people have
our people have
our people have
our people have
our people have
offered to technological boons,
yet you come and bring us war.
You have scavenged these boons
from very hard-working individuals
and have sent many members of the administratum to die,
and your walls are made of pus!
Well, well, well, well, I, um, um, well.
You do not understand the hard lives we have led here.
Oh, whatever.
It wouldn't be in beauty.
Alrighty, uh, let's...
Well, I didn't need this screen for long.
I'm not interested in talking to her.
I want her to be exploded into death.
All right, I'm gonna put you guys down at the entrance here.
Yeah, there is no desire for PC talk.
No, no, no, no, no.
Talking time is over.
Reap doesn't like walls made of biohazards.
He draws a line there.
It's a good...
All right, um, you guys get to go first.
Who would like to go?
So there's this immense chamber.
I should sort of set the scene here.
There's this immense chamber.
There's various, um, braziers of fire that have been set up.
Clearly, they've taken over all the tables that used to be here.
There's two statues, um, to the, like, immediate west and east of the entrance here.
Both of them are of this majestic,
towering, bald figure in, like, immaculate armor.
Uh, there are these white, uh, sort of, like, marble pillars
that go up to the ceiling that's about ten meters above.
Far at the other end, there's another immaculate gold statue
of this, this bald figure who has this immense mace sort of at his side.
And there's three thrones, Amalthea kind of standing up from one.
A bald figure with a giant mace.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, good.
Correct.
I wonder who that, I mean, ah, ee, ah, wee.
Spider-Man, obviously.
Chad did me dirt.
An MSA from hell.
Hey, we, we fought Spider-Man in this campaign once already.
Well, in a non-aired episode.
Spider-Man will return.
Spider-Man will return.
Alright, who wants to go first?
Seeing, and then again, yeah, there's two, two sets of, um, two sets of guards in front of you.
I know I keep grabbing the first, but, uh.
No, we shouldn't rob the Lord of the Incredible Bumpy.
Make it happen.
Do what they can make it happen right now.
Yeah, um, I'm, I'm sorry to be that guy all the time, but I, I do want Reed to go second, because he's probably gonna need to go second after this.
So.
I need to take coverage.
Yeah.
You will need to shift twice, I think, to get a, a long enough molten beam to hit her.
So, here's what we're gonna do.
Unless you move, you can move too.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
So, I wanna, here's a couple things I'm gonna do.
We have two glory.
Okay.
Okay.
So, Reap can go.
Okay.
And someone else can go and figure life out.
I'm gonna spend a, can I spend a wrath to narratively declare that I'm, like, rushing as far as I can forward and all that?
I mean, I will allow you, I will, I will allow you, if you spend a wrath to narratively declare that you're pushing yourself to your utter extremes.
Yeah, yeah.
I will let you move, double your movement and take one action, which normally you can't do.
Yeah.
But, uh, like, Lorne has, like, Fenrisian energy reserves.
Yeah.
She's a space wolf charging right now.
Sure.
Just .
Don't still go and I'm just charging, just, you know, just the blood rage is now running through me.
And, um, so the range of this beam is, like, 10 meters.
So, let's, let's measure how long it's gonna be.
Like, I assume she's, like, taking up this whole square or something or how do you want this to happen?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, that's, I'll let you take from the bottom one.
That's fine.
So you need to get at least one extra.
Like, shifted, I should say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so basically, right up to this boy,
pretty much hands just clap together.
And I am sustaining that dome still, but it's all activated.
Oh, okay. Yep, yep, yep.
Hands up, just...
And then molten beam unbounded.
Okay, so unbounded or transcended? One or two?
Whatever's the highest.
Two. Okay, so transcendent.
Transcended.
Removing any shackles of the laws imposed upon you by your training.
Yep.
So here's the problem.
Yep.
Someone donated $100, so this is a guaranteed combination.
So that's why I ran first.
Okay, okay.
So it is molten beam.
Two wrath die.
Yeah, so you're regular.
Plus two wrath die.
Here we go.
Wow, that's a bad roll.
I am going to use my last wrath die to re-roll that.
Oh, no.
So whooping two.
Okay, now it's a seven.
So this is against the target's defense.
So that would make for the...
The two wrath die aren't in there, I don't think.
No.
For some reason, they're not in there.
Here, I'll roll the two.
Whatever.
You know?
I'll say...
So one more.
So it's eight.
So it's against...
Go ahead.
Wait.
Mark me down a rune point, please.
Okay.
Boop.
I'd like to take our attention to this upper gallery up here.
Okay.
And I'll share with everyone another piece of artwork, which...
Oh, yeah, the psycher.
You may remember from your earlier entrance here.
Mm-hmm.
That these marble folks had their own psychers,
which you were kind of suspicious of two episodes ago.
Yep.
And one of them is on the upper ramparts.
Now, your psychic power will have its complication.
But I will see if, on top of the complication,
if this psycher can just stop your power.
Let's see.
Which is their psychic mastery,
which...
With...
You want a psychic mastery duel?
No bonus draft dice.
Yeah.
So I need to get a seven or better.
No.
And I do not get it.
So...
Oh, so here's the thing.
Here's the thing, though.
Two people have already donated for this.
That's now a complication for that psycher.
Oh, this is gold.
All right.
All right.
Well, then.
It's time for...
It's time for...
It's time for...
It's time for...
At the end of me.
Yeah.
All right.
Let me figure this out.
What's the first warp one I want to do here?
Because, oh, boy.
Okay.
Let's find what the next warp complication is
from our lovely array of...
Yes.
Yes.
All right.
Lorne,
you rush forward and...
No, we're going to save that one.
That makes no sense.
Oh, here we go.
For a few seconds,
a spectral manifestation of a person
the player fears or hates
appears and brutally mocks you.
Spider-Man?
Spider-Wizard.
Spider-Wizard!
Yeah, you just...
Where this psycher is,
you have, like,
a terrible reputation,
a reminder of your past duel,
and, in fact,
your failed psycher-wizard duel
against the spider-person.
From one of our session zeros
no one will ever be able to see.
Because we didn't record it.
Spider-Wizard!
Spider-Wizard!
Sorry, one...
Oh.
Oh, no.
Uh-oh.
Oh!
That's a double six
for that thing's complication.
I wouldn't want to be that guy.
Oh.
One sec.
A bloodthirster
erupts from the corpse.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
There's plenty of blood to satiate it.
Okay, surging warp energies.
This is gonna be good.
The air shimmers and distorts
as this psycher attempts to
attempts to deny your psychic power, Lorne.
And from above,
they try and you turn
and with your rage
you see them only as the spider person
who taunted you in your past.
And suddenly,
all creatures
within
within
25 meters
of this psycher
suffer 1d6 shock.
So I think that's like...
That's everyone.
That's everyone.
All psychers.
Everyone takes 1d6 shock.
I'm just gonna roll it.
That is everyone,
including all of their troops.
Yes.
Oh.
So in fact,
that just causes
a bunch of their troops
to start like
breaking and running.
I'll do that.
I'm still holding.
I gain a rune point.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You do.
And
and
for the remainder of the scene,
all wrath dice
rolled as part of any
psychic mastery tests
that aren't a 1 or a 6
must be re-rolled.
That's just for you, though.
No.
Oh, no.
However,
however, that being said,
let's get back to the
the original thing you were doing,
which was your molten beam.
Yeah.
So
because of that,
because it got changed,
I don't have the accurate data on it.
So normally it's targets defense
and I need to know
what that defense is
to shift it to go extra.
Yes.
So the defense is your like
because there's various defenses,
but the main
it's just whatever normal target defense
is going to be three.
It's going to be three.
So I can then put one up.
I don't know how much it is
to make it go extra or not.
It's
um,
let's see here.
Molten beam.
Uh,
you need one,
one shift.
So you can shift once
and then I went
give the extra 10.
Okay, perfect.
So
you do this
straight through all the power armor
do everything straight to her.
Yeah,
I'm going to spend some rune here
because I'm going to want to
keep some things alive.
Um,
I will spend
two rune.
Um,
you will murder the guy
with the shock mall
right in front of you.
Just the blast goes through
his chest straight behind
kills the remaining two.
This one survives go,
but,
but dodges out of the way
for you to hit the other two.
And then Amalthea
jumps behind the throne
at the last possible second
guided by the,
the dark gods
and cowers behind
the smoking wreckage of the chair.
Oh,
what kind of foul sorcery is this?
I look at it
and look at her
just,
just obviously every psychic
big count out of my eyes.
I'm like,
I'm going to fucking destroy you.
You understand me?
I want to make sure you pop
like the evil boil
that you are.
You will not survive.
And that's what I say.
And now it's into my turn.
Okay,
Jim,
I got a,
I got a crazy question for you.
You said you took five shock.
Yes.
I've forgotten what happens
when I'm out of shock.
Ah,
yes,
this point.
So what happens
when you're out of shock
is that you,
I believe,
become fatigued.
All right.
Well,
I just immediately become fatigued
because I only got five shock.
Oh,
okay.
If you,
oh,
if you ever suffer more
than your maximum,
so you can be at zero.
Oh,
good.
Yeah.
And basically if you,
if you get more than that,
you become fatigued.
You can also spend a wrath dice
to restore shock
equal to your rank
plus your,
so unfortunately
I'm out of wrath.
So that's,
that's fair.
All right.
So real quick,
in case any of you
do go over,
uh,
that just becomes fatigued
or sorry,
exhausted,
I should say.
And exhausted is
this thing here,
which is essentially
you can only walk
or crawl
or perform a combat action.
Like you can't do
multiple things.
Like you get
really hampered from that.
Uh,
in the case of these mobs,
it just killed a bunch of guys
because that's how
it works.
Um,
okay,
cool.
Um,
I guess I get to go
unless someone would like
to seize initiative.
Everyone just took
straight five,
right?
Straight five for shock.
Okay.
Okay.
I didn't know if we were
all rolling it individually.
No,
no.
Um,
if no one would mind,
I'm actually going to spend
a glory real quick
because I fear
the furious reprisal
about to fall upon Lauren.
Um,
so I'm going to spend
a glory and interrupt.
And then
with my power sword high,
I will yell,
yeah,
we can quit
and
get right here
charging forward.
And I am going to,
uh,
multi-attack these
fucking idiots.
So it's a mob.
You don't,
you don't need to
multi-attack them up.
You just,
oh,
great.
I'm
listen,
I number go up though.
Points,
points,
points.
Listen,
my only joy in life
is to make these
little orbs disappear.
Let's go.
It's called
murder hobo.
Murder hobo.
Five is good.
So five is good.
Uh,
that will be enough
to kill three of them.
Okay.
Cool.
So you will come up this way.
I'd like,
there's no even role
for determination or anything.
You just,
you come up
and just start slashing,
taking all of those three down.
The one in the back,
however,
uh,
from that first squad
sort of looks up in shock
as you've rushed forward
to the support of this,
um,
massively powered sword.
Uh,
and they have to make
a,
a resolve test.
They fail their resolve test
and they also drop their gun
and run away.
Uh,
that brings the end
of that squad.
So then it comes
to me again.
I point my sword
at the power mall guy
and I say,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
Excellent.
Yeah,
I have to,
I,
I utterly,
utterly have to,
uh,
the guy with the power mall
responds sort of like
tapping this shot,
shock mall,
shock mall,
I should say,
tapping it in his other hand.
Well,
and he turns around,
spend a,
spend a wrath
or say,
uh,
a rune for me.
Um,
as he turns around
and looks at the,
the remaining troops
by him
and like raises up
his shock ball
and shouts
for the war master
and he like rushes forward
and as he does,
uh,
his rune,
his rune command
allows them all to fire,
which they do.
Um,
they are
really quickly
going to
perform an interaction
attack against you.
I do enjoy
that their sancre
was mostly on our side
this encounter.
Yeah,
apparently.
Um,
you know,
uh,
actually,
no,
they're just going to shoot you.
What the hell?
Uh,
regular shot.
Kill brain.
Um,
and I will like hit you,
but actually,
what's your defense
before melee?
Five for six.
Uh,
six,
isn't it?
Yeah,
my,
my,
uh,
for melee,
it is,
uh,
five.
Okay.
And for ranged?
Uh,
well,
I'm,
I'm in melee.
Before he runs.
Technically,
before he runs.
Yeah,
then it's,
I think it's four.
Okay.
I'll double check.
I will double check
because I'm going to assume
that this will
not be enough
to hurt you.
It is not enough
to hurt you.
You take a bunch of,
like,
last bolts to the chest,
but nothing bad.
The,
the larger fellow
rushes up to you.
Uh,
he comes in
charging with this maul
and let's see
what he can do.
See if it's anything.
It's three.
Counter attack.
What the?
One sec.
That's not right.
Uh,
one,
two,
three,
four.
No,
no,
no,
that is,
that is right.
You may counter attack him.
Yes.
I shall.
Counter attack.
Cross counter.
Is,
is,
is Pyrein still doing
the E-E-A-A thing?
Yeah,
yeah.
Can he be fixed
by this point
with him getting
bonked on the head?
Please.
Uh,
I mean,
let's see if he,
let's see if he,
uh,
kills this guy.
Well,
it's six.
I stand a pretty good chance.
Defense is three,
so you can shift one.
Nice.
All right,
fantastic.
Yeah,
as it were.
Yeah,
sure.
Meow,
meow,
meow,
meow,
meow.
Fourteen.
Uh,
fourteen.
I will spend one more
to do a determination check,
so mark me down
another rune,
please.
Oh,
sorry,
don't mark me down a rune.
I'm going to use,
these ones have personal rune
that I'm going to spend,
uh,
and I'm going to roll
to see if he is determined.
Let's see what that number,
uh,
three,
so we'll do eleven,
so he takes three runes total.
Okay,
he's still standing.
Uh,
is that your move,
GM?
Uh,
that was,
that was my,
my move,
yes.
Uh,
Zedek,
can I go first,
please?
You can do that.
All right,
I'm going to move up
to here.
Okay.
And I'm going to
use my
ancient
mastercrafted
lasgun to shoot.
Oh,
actually,
um,
I'm sorry.
Um?
That,
I don't know if it happens.
That termination roll
is now a complication.
Uh,
that can't be complicated.
Then his shock maul is.
Or something of that.
I forgot,
I'm sorry,
I was dealing with the other thing.
There was one more in the queue.
Oh,
okay.
Well then,
I will have to see
what happens.
On the shock maul complication.
That or because
I'm a forgetful bastard,
whatever the next thing is.
Uh,
let's say whatever
the next enemy thing is.
Yeah,
next enemy.
I apologize.
I apologize.
Great.
All right.
Well,
in that case,
uh,
like I said,
uh,
mastercrafted lasgun,
that is,
uh,
in range.
Uh,
yes.
Yeah,
cool,
cool,
cool.
Yeah.
I get the base
because that is
mastercrafted and
boom.
Zap.
And it's complication.
It's complication.
Anyway,
it's nice.
Okay.
Um,
and that will
actually miss.
Would you have
one wrath point?
Would you like to
spend it or not?
I do have a wrath.
I forgot about,
okay.
I thought I was out
for some reason.
Yeah,
I'll,
I'll wrath that.
Sure.
Yeah,
do it up.
Oh,
it's a five.
That will hit,
um,
with the cover.
You'll still hit.
So roll damage.
Okay.
So there'll be a
complication.
So I'll figure that
no bonus damage dice
for this.
Like last time.
Can I shift anything?
Uh,
no.
Uh,
then
that is
just this
base bonus.
So,
cause that's a
mastercrafted.
So there,
and that's
a 12.
Okay.
Well,
that's actually
really,
really good.
Um,
but let's see
that complication.
Shall I roll that?
Uh,
yeah,
you know what?
For this one,
since it's pretty basic,
let's just,
let's just use the,
the,
the basic table.
I don't want to use
any of the,
something like this.
Uh,
combat complication
is 2d6.
2d6.
It's 2d6.
It is a one
and a two.
Out of ammo.
So you lose
one of your
ammo on it.
Brain,
stop eating my
last gun cartridges.
I mean,
I mean,
I mean,
Shut up.
You,
you do a solid
strike on this
with a 12.
Uh,
I will spend
a rune point
to keep
that sticker
alive with a one,
but that is
all of her
personal rune.
Sorry,
don't mark me
down rune for that.
Uh,
that's just a
personal rune
that she has
cause she's
kind of special.
Uh,
that would be
it for you,
Reeb?
Yeah,
that's all I got.
All right,
well,
I'm very glad
we did this whole
let's,
um,
let's save
that complication
cause I'm gonna
have the second
psyker up,
up on the
opposite balcony
come over.
And you're gonna
roll 2d6
to complicate.
Uh,
well,
I have to spend
a rune point,
so now Zoran
marked me down
for a rune point.
All right.
Um,
and shh,
to,
in order for me
to use psychic powers,
I have to do this.
Uh,
then this psyker
will go.
Now,
the way that
psykers work here
is,
is,
uh,
sadly,
they have to,
uh,
these ones have to
always use
two bonus
wrath dice,
so that will
be a thing.
Um,
so two bonus
wrath dice,
and this one
is actually
going to move
one.
Um,
and looks at
Pybrain,
and,
You can't do that.
Yes,
yes I can,
and I will,
and,
makes this,
this psychic mastery
test on you,
Py.
Well,
that's not very nice.
Or not.
Oh,
Jesus.
It rolled so bad,
it complicated.
It rolled so bad,
it's complicated,
it's already a complication,
so that will be plus ten,
and I have to re-roll
those other 2d6s
because they weren't
a one or a six.
Okay.
One,
six.
So,
the six will actually
get me enough
to hit Lorne.
Or, sorry,
to hit Pybrain.
Um,
oh,
yeah,
because your defense
would be five
against a ranged attack,
so.
Cool.
Um,
your strength
is reduced by one
and you suffer
one shock
as you feel
that you are being
enfeebled by this
psych.
Now,
part of the problem
is,
is now I have to
roll 2d6.
I'm going to,
uh,
spend a wrath
to,
uh,
gain,
um,
what is it,
my rank plus what
in shock?
Uh,
it's rank plus
the tier of the campaign,
so it would be
two plus one,
so three.
Okay.
So,
I'll get three,
so I'll have two shock.
This,
this,
this psychic
complication
will not be good.
This will
definitely not be good
because this is going
into the 70s
territory.
Good.
Good.
Seven
faulty sailors.
Good.
Yes.
In fact,
uh,
sorry,
I'm sorry,
two.
Actually,
never mind.
He won.
Let it happen.
Let the war
flow
through you,
haven't you?
Time for Pi
to say his
famous catchphrase.
Ellie,
oh wait,
no,
it's actually plus two
because of her
stupid rule.
Oh,
oh no.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay,
this is great.
All right.
Dark passenger.
Oh,
no.
A daemon
enters your mind.
No.
And looks out
from your eyes.
Oh,
hi,
hi guys.
Hi.
No,
not that
fucker.
I don't think I get
to see you again
so soon.
Um,
that's that
psychers go
because I
royally fuck
that up
and like
you're still
you're still
having your
like life
drained out
of you
by brain
as you feel
like this
strength
and shock
you know
mount
but like
yeah this
this
this
psycher
up here
with the hood
kind of has
this contorted
grin like
oh hi
I guess
I guess
the connection
let me come
here and show
up.
Hi
uh
Zedek
you're up
uh
I'm gonna
take this
opportunity
to move
up to that
pillar
and
zap
that
psycher
up on
the balcony
Sean
or the one
that was
already
hit over
here
I will
shoot
Sean
you shoot
Sean
okay
I don't
want Sean
in this game
anymore
I'm going
to attempt
to destroy
him and
banish
him
okay
goodbye
Sean
that's a
five
you will
hit
that's
so
Chad has
given us
a wrath
die for
each of
us
oh wow
excellent
thanks
Chad
thank you
Chad
you guys
are on the
ball today
I'm doing
my best
to try
to kill
them but
ah
why do
you you
you rolled
your power
sword damage
against them
oh yeah
I shot
my sword
are you hurling
your power
sword
I guess
I am
that's right
it's still
five
it's still
five
it's five
plus the
damage of
the arc
pistol
which is
yeah
I rolled
the power
sword
before
so now
the arc
pistol
also rolled
a five
but it
is 15
damage
okay
yeah
that's
yeah
that the
arc
pistol
like the
the arc
goes and
just like
cooks the
flesh of
this
psycher
who who
like
convulses
and falls
their knees
why
why
why
would you
do this
to me
I'll
see you
again
and that
psycher
dies
his head
exploded
they just
fall down
in like
a mound
of like
shaking
and electrical
arcs
also
mark me
down a
wrath die
I will
take out
my flask
take a
swig
and recover
three
shock
excellent
all right
um
get them
get them
I say
Amalthea
yells
uh
giving these
guards a
second
free action
um
which
they will
reform ranks
step up
and
begin to fire
again
trying to
hit
our good
high brain
we'll crit
um
let's see
that's not
fucking
do good
any kind
of damage
to you
I don't
know
I doubt
it
that's a
seven
that's
it isn't
um
my resilience
is nine
yeah yeah
no no no
it's it's more
it's more
what the
the close
combat
um
what the
close combat
crit will
be
because that
that could
let them
do stuff
to you
also
I really
like how
Zedek
made a
bottle
check
yes
I
shocked
that Estus
bro
Crimson
Ash
Necromunda
oh
I've never
played Necromunda
so that was
it was totally
intentional
oh
wait what's
the horrible
thing that
happened to
me
I'm
I'm just
about to
describe it
uh
you
you suffer
from
Crimson
Ash
uh
the attack
sears your
flesh
and well
your metal
bits
uh
you are
on fire
and
take
four
mortal
wounds
well
the last
gun like
from all
four of
them
just
light
you up
and your
clothes
catch on
fire
holy shit
you are
bursting
dude
you know
that Astartes
scene where
all those
lads guns
are firing
and just
bouncing off
the armor
it's that
but you're
on fire
yeah
yeah
on the
plus side
I probably
look terrifying
right now
here's the
on fire
chat saying
troops don't
crit
chat is
right
god damn
it chat
damn you
damn
you're trying
to kill me
and that's
and that's
why we
like live
streaming
so people
can keep
us in
check
in this
way at
the very
beginning
we said
we're gonna
get stuff
wrong
so thank
you chat
for keeping
us in
check
thank you
chat
they will
move back
in shame
one square
all right
and their
lads guns
do
do
sweet fuck
all to
you
thank you
chat
all right
so that's
it for
that's it
for the
dark future
that didn't
happen
and that's
the end of
the combat
round next
combat round
who wants
to go
first
I will
let's do
pybrane
first
we have
one point
right now
and
so I
would like
I mean
I'm sorry
for being
all bossing
leave here
I'm willing
to go
a different
round
because I
keep taking
the first
one so
I want
somebody
else to
go so
I propose
brain just
to finish
that one
guy off
but then
someone else
who's a
glory to
go that's
not me
to me
and get
under the
dome so
all around
adjacent to
me there's
a dome
right now
so if
you ever
need cover
I am a
cover piece
kind of
I just
help you
get resilience
and soak
up mortal
wounds
so that
psycho ever
smites us
you know
and he's
got one
ruin left
so he's
still got
one in
the bag
so taking
my sword
I will
bring it
down upon
this man's
head
going
can we
end this
complication
please
we can
talk
normally
well he
gets a
crit so
I'll say
the crit
energizes
him to
end the
complication
so for
remember
still say
what the
number is
and what
you got
so you
got a
six
yes I've
got a
six
six glory
and a
crit
so oh
god I
need it
I hope
I fucking
kill him
this time
should I
roll the
damage I
suppose
yeah
because it's
non-trivial
roll 2d6
first of
all
okay
sure thing
we'll see
we'll see
we'll see
something here
oh no
yes
oh yes
and somehow
he becomes
a demon
from this
yes he's
he is
he's also
Sean
dear friend
roll me
a d3
of course
of course
of course
of course
rolling dice
back to back
for important
things
yes
I will say
you have
got
vicious
vivisection
you dissect
pieces of
the foe's
body in a
scene of
carnage and
woe
he is quite
dead
how do you
dispose of
this blood
this this
marble
pus bag
commander
so I
take out my
sword and
we're kind
of like
in locked
I've got
his I've
got like
his shock
maw in
it I'm
going to
quickly swerve
it cut
off his
hand in
one swift
motion and
then just
with a
series of
like
hyper
calculated
butcher's
cuts
I segment
him into
three
geometrically
perfect
pieces
before
fear me
for I
am your
apocalypse
well he fears
you because
he's dead
all right
just a general
call to fear
me
if he
in general
could fear
me I would
really appreciate
that
my go
all right
fine then
I will
no one else
going to seize
the initiative
we have two
glory now
so we
no I don't
want to see
I'm good
with letting
them go
I will take
this I'm
not here
I'm not okay
with that
so I'm
going to
seize the
initiative
well go
then
psycho
boy
looks like
I was hoping
Zedek would
come up
and shoot
him with
his gun
easily kill
him so I
don't psychic
power and
have to
reroll and
fails
so Zedek
would you
like to
go
and shoot
that
psycho
just for
you lord
I will
get up
there and
shoot the
psycho
thank you
because I
don't want
any more
complications
I want to
save the
glories for
if we
need them
I am to
shoot them
with my
zap gun
now
fire your
zap gun
god damn
it what
is the
crit
in the
crit
in the
crit's
gonna do
it I
think
sorry
DM
against
our best
efforts
we're
cool
electric
avenue
electric
no
lorn
ozorin
mark me
down that
last
rune
point
you have
no rune
left
I have
no oh
wait
yeah I
have no
rune
left
okay
oh there's
a rune
right there
I got
rid of
his last
one
yeah you
should give
me a rune
point it
would be
really cool
no
do it
do it
all right
well then
shoot I
can't do
the cool
thing without
another
rune
point but
fine
um
you you
like arc
electricity
and this
this
psycher
who's
holding
their
hand
on the
railing
begins
to
shake
madly
as her
hand
recoils
back
and
holds
on to
life
but just
as as
your your
crit effect
goes actually
roll me 2d6
for your
crit effect
too let's
see what
that would
be
yeah
Deacon
Bogum
uh
crimson
ash
oh god
damn
it
all right
you know
what this
one does
well my
rune point
that I
spent is
now useless
because this
one's on
fire so
I'm sure
gonna save
this until
they have
to act
and are
on fire
god damn
it
um
all right
well then
damn it
uh okay
yes you
know I
I'm aware
um this
one
oh okay
yeah uh
okay uh
yeah and
that's that
psyker
all righty
next up
and you
guys
gave you
to ruin
die
after all
your stuff
good good
good good
um
it's
I will
I will
then go
with with
my
psyker
who will
try to
no you're
already
done
you're
done
forever
dies
forever
I don't
care
I hate
you
I'm
smiting
you
I'm
smiting
you
take
take off
that that
that
rad
that actually
no I
can't
I have
to make
a willpower
test
but it's
a psyker
they might
be good
at this
all right
so you
don't want
to ruin
the
psychic
power
no
they're
dead
they're
dead
the fire
kills
them
god damn
it
your go
god damn
it
damn
it
I was
so close
okay
um
so
it's
it's
uh
yeah it's
either uh
lorn or
reeb at
this
point
all right
do you
want to
come up
yeah I
will I
will move
up and
prepare to
flamer
yes
we'll go up
to there
and make
sure I'm
within
and let's
skip this a
shot so if
I shoot it
that one
I'm gonna
have to get
I have to
shift four
great
uh
all right
actually we
go just
three
just three
yeah okay
just three
because initial
uh
I will
fire on it
and I
will
use
the last
oh
we're full
up on
yes
yep
awful
can I
train it
sure can
do right
if I need
to
oh
that's the
wrong button
all right
so 66
yep
oh my
god
oh
only two
of them
um
so that
puts me
at a
five
uh
that's
bad
that's
pathetic
you
really
you will
still
I will
let you
kill two
actually wait
no it's
a mob
haha
you will
kill
three of
them with
that
great
there's one
left
and then
and then
as your
flamer
comes down
and this
poor last
guy has
to make
a resolve
test
and
he
he
he
wets
himself
and runs
off
uh
and with
that
uh
we
we
we
cut away
from the
combat
now that
everything
is dead
in the
room
except
for
Amalthea
huh
uh
uh
uh
hello
there
maybe
we can
now
uh
cut
ourselves
a deal
haha
no
I'm going
to uh
walk up
to her
okay
I put
my hand
on her
face
I'm now
going to
lift her
up by the
head
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
any
questions
for
Amalthea
uh
uh
yes
don't
kill her
just yet
of
course
he's
approaching
and he
is frowning
very hard
so please
do
enlighten
us
as I
look
at the
camera
what
exactly
are
the
blood
wolves
well
well
you see
the
the
the
and uh
I think
that's where
we're gonna
end for
this week
oh
haha
you
are
going to
have to
go to
school
school
school
school
so thank
you
lovely
thank you
everyone
for
watching
I'd like
to thank
all of
our players
our wonderful
players
starting with
our
skitari
ranger
pie brain
played
by
yes
speaker d
you can
find me
on twitter
at
super
snake
cake
you can
also find
me on
youtube
at
speaker d
you are
amazing
inquisitorial
acolyte
reeve van
horn
played by
urndel
I can be
found at
urndilio
on twitter
you can see
me post about
crap there
but I don't
do a whole
lot other
way except
write stuff
that's all
I got
and I
am
so on
the bear
I have
been playing
the lawn
the
the bullet
changing
sacker
who tried
almost killed
the entire
party
and the
person who's
been playing
captain
zedek
our
resident
rogue
traitor
captain
of the
depth
collector
played by
hulky
crow
I don't
post a
whole lot
or do
have a
lot of
social
content
but you
can find
me at
hulky
crow
on twitter
send me
a dm
or you'll
find me
in
soren's
discord
occasionally
and our
amazing
game master
who has
been making
this an
absolutely
wonderful
adventure
for all
of us
thurston
hillman
thank you
for doing
an amazing
session
today
I'm sure
everybody has
been enjoying
it from
everyone's
responses
so far
thank you
and thank
you
chat
for keeping
me honest
on letting
troops do
things they
can't do
because I
always do
that
you're
great for
that
and one
day
I'll
knock
one of
these
punks
out
one
day
and with
that if you
enjoyed the
show
definitely
especially for
people for
podcast versions
remember we
are on
spotify and
on sound
cloud just
look up
warhams and
you'll be
able to
find us
there
if you
want to
support
the show
and get
some of
the
vod and
stuff a
week early
now or
after a
week it
then comes
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instead of
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now thanks
for all of
your feedback
on that
you can
you can
help us
out as
I switch
my images
here you
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us at
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warhams and
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help us make
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just fine
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warhams tell
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I tune in live
check out our
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forward slash
zoran the bear that
is z-o-r-a-n-t-h-e-b-e-a-r
there you'll find
all the vods of
warhams and the
first five episodes
are on alpha boost
this channel by the
way the first five
are there and we
currently have
the animation of
tater tot the first
time we met tater
tot right now and
more is to come and
lastly if you really
enjoyed it and you
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where you can get a
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members because that
helps pay for the
show pay for the art
and everything else
in between so thank
you again everybody
for joining us we
greatly appreciate it
we hope you all have
an absolutely lovely
weekend and I
will see you all
next time say
goodbye everybody
for spoopy times
for spoopy times
it's going to be
really exciting
spoopy month
spoopy month is
coming
bye
goodbye
farewell
the tooth
remember the
tooth
things awaken
at the stroke
of midnight
you