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Today, we commemorate Transgender Day of Remembrance by honoring the victims of transgender violence in 2021. To honor their lives, we address the increasing epidemic of violence against the transgender and gender non-conforming community.
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Lauren (00:10):
Thank you for joining us today as we commemorate Transgender Day of Remembrance and stand on the side of love. Most trace the beginning of Transgender Day of Remembrance back to a night in late November 1998, when the murder of Rita Hester on November 28th of that year in Boston shook the local community. The resulting walk through the streets in candlelight vigil outside her apartment are often considered the inspiration for what has become an international act of remembrance for those who were killed in acts of anti-transgender violence. The following year, a candlelight vigil was held in San Francisco, and each year the remembrance has grown, from very local beginnings to an international audience. In some places, the week leading up to, or following the day of remembrance, has been a time of extensive awareness, building and advocacy. And it's important to know that not everyone remembered, self-identified as transgender.
Lauren (01:07):
Though each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgender and gender variant people, some are friends, lovers and allies who were killed while they were with someone who was transgender. Others may not have identified as such, but were perceived to be somehow gender variant by their attackers. Transgender Day of Remembrance is more than just a memorial. It raises public awareness of the hatred and violence against those in our transgender community, which often the media suppresses. It publicly mourns and honors the lives of those who might otherwise be forgotten, giving their silenced lives a new voice. It is an opportunity to meet hatred and indifference with love and respect. A day of remembrance does just that. It remembers the forgotten; the forgotten who were children, parents, the lovers and friends who are also part of our communities. This day of remembrance offers us all an opportunity to stand together and vow to continue taking action in addressing hatred and violence.
Lauren (02:13):
Joining me today to talk about TDOR and the increase in violence against the trans community are Tori Cooper and Libra Valentino. Tori Cooper is the Executive Director of HRC, the Human Rights Campaign. She is also a national trainer, subject matter expert, facilitator, and consultant with the CDC, and she is the national trainer for [inaudible 00:02:36] Building Leaders of Color Advocacy Training Program. I'm also joined by Libra Valentino, who is the creator of Accept Me As I Am, which translates to a self minority equality and sustained integrity awareness movement. Accept Me As I Am was created in hopes to combat inequalities that are transformed by citizens of resistance, in as well their intersectionality. So hello ladies, thank you so much for joining me today on this event, on Trans Day of Remembrance. Tori, I know this is a subject that you're an expert of and you know a lot about, and Libra, I'm glad to that you're also here to add to your expertise as well. It's such a pleasure.
Lauren (03:20):
So I just want to start off, Tori, with just some basic facts for everyone on what is going on in the community right now with all of the trans folks and the lives lost in 2021.
Tori Cooper (03:33):
So thank you, Lauren. I'd like to say that it feels good to be here, but the truth is it doesn't because we're talking about an issue that's been going on for many, many years, and unfortunately it's not getting better, it seems to be getting worse. Glad to be here with Miss Libra as well.
Tori Cooper (03:54):
So, trans deaths, it's a big issue. We're not going to take a lot of time tonight, but I work at the Human Rights Campaign. Just like so many other folks, we monitor and write blogs in an attempt to humanize the victims of violence, fatal violence, who are trans and gender nonconforming. In this year, we've already broken last year's record. We are at 45 already, I believe it's 45. And that's really, really startling considering how small, compared to the cisgender community, our community is. And so use the word epidemic of violence, not just to talk about fatal violence, but also to talk about the physical violence that doesn't lead to death, but also the violence that exists in laws and bigotry and policy, and really in the hearts and minds of people who would seek to do harm to trans people with their words, as well as with their fists.
Lauren (04:59):
Thank you so much Tori. I think it's very important for people to really understand how the violence impacts our community. Libra, can you tell us a little bit about that?
Libra Valentino (05:10):
I can attest to growing up and myself, I was working at the local LGBTQ community center and my job I was to interact with the youth. I ran a program for them, like a drop-in center type of environment. And my biggest concern were the trans youth that were out here that did not necessarily have the environment at home that was ideal, but yet they were trying to survive. And because they were trying to survive, they were doing different things that people would demonize like, we shouldn't talk about that or we wouldn't do anything of that type of sort, and that would include sex work.
Libra Valentino (05:57):
The feminine identified bodies were my biggest concern because a lot of them would come to me and talk to me about situations that they were put in, situations that they have experienced where it resulted in violence, they were forced to do things that they may not have agreed with. They were in situations where someone was attracted to them and it was like a flip. There was the attraction, they did the deed and everything, and then next thing you know, there's just this anger that erupts from the other party. And so it wasn't until one year we had a young lady who did not come to the drop-in center and we noticed her absence for quite some time, and we found out that that young lady was deceased. And that was due to an act of violence.
Lauren (06:52):
Wow. That's really unfortunate. I've experienced various acts of violence in community myself, being a trans woman and navigating through life and even having some friends who were victims of violence as well. So I can definitely relate to that, and I think we all can relate to it personally. So my next question is, what do we do about it? What can we do? What can we do as a community first? And then I guess the second part of the question would include what can community do in the sense?
Tori Cooper (07:32):
This is a great time for us to really present a unified front. It's important that we support folks who are doing the work. We're telling these stories, Dee Dee Watters, the late Monica Roberts, TransLash Media, and so many others who are reporting on the deaths of trans people, so it's important that we provide some support then. But it's also extremely important that we make sure that folks understand that we are a community made up a lot of smaller communities and that as a larger community of trans and non-binary folks, particularly those of us who are black or people of color or black and brown, we need to make sure that people see us as unified in the fight to eradicate this violence. We need to people to see that we're not afraid of making our voices heard, and that we understand with that visibility, that in some ways, that makes us bigger targets, but we also understand that we refuse to be silent and we have to let everyone else know.
Tori Cooper (08:44):
And so it's also important for our cisgender allies, folks who are not trans and who don't identify as non-binary, that they do something. That they talk to their peers, they talk to their family members. By and large, trans people that we're reporting on are not being killed by other trans people. We're being killed by cis people, and quite often cis people with whom we had some kind of relationship.
Tori Cooper (09:08):
So it's important for every single person to share, to make sure that people understand that trans people are real and our lives are valuable and have meaning, and understand what the repercussions are.
Tori Cooper (09:21):
Lastly, before we go to Miss Libra, I am a proponent of conflict resolution. I think that that should be something that becomes mandatory in schools, conflict resolution classes. It should be taught in high schools. Sometimes, when we learn the backstory about these deaths, what we're learning is people had a conflict and they didn't have a sane way to resolve them. And so there's so many more things that people can do that go far beyond this conversation, but those are some of them that just come to mind.
Libra Valentino (09:56):
Thank you, Tori. When you had mentioned that about the conflict resolution, that sparked something in my mind too as well, because I was thinking of a story that someone had shared with me about a young lady that her life was taken because there was some young men who did not know how to fully articulate their attraction towards her because she was trans, and they attacked her, they beat her up and that resulted in her losing her life. And that goes back to that conversation piece of having these talks within our circles, within our own personal communities, and making sure that we're not doing that judgment piece, that we're not shaming people for having attractions to other humans. That right there alone can help solve a lot of the issue that the trans and non-binary community is facing right now.
Libra Valentino (10:48):
My biggest piece would be that the conversations of shaming people's attractions, the things that people like yucking peoples' yum, as we say it in community setting. Making sure that we're not doing that to people and embracing more people for who they are, because that's quite important for them to feel accepted. That's the biggest thing why people are on these separate pieces and tangents, where they can't deal with these emotions.
Lauren (11:19):
Thank you so much. Libra, I think you and Tori touched on some very important ideas around why the violence happens and what we can do about it and to stop it and eradicate it in our community. And in closing, I want to allow you all an opportunity to say some final thoughts before we close out.
Tori Cooper (11:43):
So respect is the word that comes to mind. When we learn to respect that people are all different, we come from all different walks of life, and we walk different paths, but in spite of that, we all deserve respect. And once there's a level of respect that sweeps across the earth, around who trans people are and acknowledges us, then I think... Unfortunately, we're going to continue to see this, so we need to have much more respect. And that respect also goes to oneself. If you respect yourself, then you're not going to harm another individual just for being who they are.
Libra Valentino (12:25):
That resonates with me, Tori. When you say respect, I'm thinking of the word value. A quote that I have is, "My value is greater than my traumas." The sad part about this is the fact that each one of our siblings that have been lost, they had value in their story, they had value, they had purpose. They may not have known their purpose at the time, they maybe were on the way to finding their purpose, but at the end of the day they had value. And these traumas that they experienced, where it was homelessness or not being able to find adequate work, whether they were finding love, those major pieces, that all plays into that value piece. And some of that has to do with self, as you mentioned, and a lot of that has to do with how other people have to deal with their own pieces as well. If you take care of home, you can take care of other people. So my thing, I would like to leave with everybody is to remember that your value is greater than your traumas.
Lauren (13:34):
All right. Thank you so much, ladies. Thank you, Tori. Thank you, Libra. I just want to close out by saying that more than anything, we need to really learn to love each other and respect each other. As Tori's mentioned, look at each other as individuals, and really stop the stereotyping, then just the overall hatred for different people because of who they are. Even as we mourn the deaths of those we have known, those we have never met, we give thanks for the love that these people contributed to the world. Although it is their deaths that bring us together today, we choose to affirm their lives and identities, as we remember them.
Lauren (14:14):
I will now read the names of the victims of trans violence this year: Tyianna Alexander, Samuel Edmond, Damián Valentín, Bianca "Muffin" Bankz, Dominique Jackson, Fifty Bandz, Alexus Braxton, Chyna Carrillo, Jeffrey "JJ" Bright and Jasmine Kennedy, Jenna Franks Diamond Kyree Sanders, Rayanna Pardo, Jaida Peterson, Dominique Luscious, Remy Fennell, Tiara Banks, Natalia Smut, Iris Santos, Tiffany Thomas, Keri Washington, Jahaira DeAlto, Whispering Wind Bear Spirit, Sophie Vásquez, Danika "Danny" Henson, Serenity Hollis, Oliver "Ollie" Taylor, Thomas Hardin, Poe Black, EJ Boykin, Aidelen Evans, Taya Ashton, Shai Vanderpump, Tierramarie Lewis, Miss CoCo, Pooh Johnson, Disaya Monaee, Briana Hamilton, Kiér Laprí Kartier, Mel Groves, Royal Poetical Starz, Zoella "Zoey" Rose Martinez, Jo Acker, Jessi Hart, Rikkey Otumuro, Marquisha Lawrence.
Lauren (16:28):
All of these deaths could have been prevented. All of these people should be alive today, going into Thanksgiving and the holidays with their family and their loved ones. All of the lives lost in years before could have been avoided, they could have been prevented. We could still have those people with us, but we know that we are up against an epidemic, an epidemic of violence in the trans and gender non-binary community. And it starts with each of us. Each of us having those conversations with our families and our friends about topics such as this, about respect for trans people.
Speaker 4 (17:13):
God of love you weep with us in our grief and fear. Enfold in your loving embrace, all those in our trans community lost to death this year, you know their names, divine creator. Even when they are misnamed or misgendered as a last act of violence and erasure, you see each one as beloved and call them by their chosen name. You claim them as your own children. God of peace, give comfort to those who mourn, give courage to our trans communities in the face of cruelty and harassment. Bring to justice those who perpetrate violence. Challenge us, oh holy one, to speak out for those who are silenced, to stand with those who are bullied, and to go with those who face danger. God of wonder, you are beyond gender. You made each one of us in your image, be with us today and always, as we long for a day when every individual is safe and known and honored and loved, we ask this in the precious name of Jesus Christ, who brings us all together in one human family, amen.
Lauren (19:06):
We send our compassionate thoughts and prayers to the family and friends of those whose loved ones have been killed as a result of ignorance, hatred and fear. May they find comfort and strength as they move forward with their lives. We also extend our empathy to those individuals and institutions weighed down by the heavy burden of bigotry. While we reject all violence and injustice, we affirm our commitment to work for change of the spirit of love for all, and to meet smallness and hatred with the largeness of spirit. Although today is the day of morning, today we are gathered here to affirm the power and dignity of all life. We remember to extend our caring embrace all those still living who suffer anti-trans violence in the forms of prejudice, healthcare, injustices, professional discrimination, incarceration, or social exclusion. May we all find the vision and the strength to stand together in compassion and solidarity with one another, until the world we live in is the world of which we dream. May this day of remembrance provide us with comfort, healing, and renewed commitment to keep building communities rooted in love. Thank you all for joining us.