Mitch Coleman | Gym Of Desire

This is Joel Stone and this is The Business Experience | Ep 009

In this episode, I sit down with Joel Stone, a marketing expert and my good mate. We talk about what really drives success—staying true to your values and keeping your integrity in check. 

Joel shares how he’s built a successful business by putting trust first and how you can do the same.

We also dig into personal struggles, like dealing with mental health challenges, and how these can actually push you to grow. Joel’s story will make you rethink your own path and give you practical steps to take towards your goals—whether it's in business, fitness, or life in general.

If you’re serious about making a change, this episode is for you. Listen now, take action, and start aligning your life with what you truly want. Success is just a step away.

Action: Tune in and take the next step toward your goals. Joel’s journey shows that when you live by your values, you can’t lose.

What is Mitch Coleman | Gym Of Desire?

We’re here to create magic and inspire you to alight your desire.

Joel:

People, how are

Mitch:

we doing? This is Joel, Joel Stone. So Joel, he's a, we've been friends for a good few years now. We're friends. We've been Well, yeah.

Mitch:

We can we can class ourselves as friends now. And, we met within, a mastermind expert in buyers, and we, yeah. I actually didn't didn't speak to you for quite a long time, until I asked you I asked, I think you you come up to me before and I was I was inquiring around marketing and you go, well, you've not speak to me. So just just let people know what what you do so they know who who

Joel:

you are. So I'm I'm Joel. I run a marketing agency called Codebreak. I speak on the topic of marketing. I'm a best selling author on marketing.

Joel:

I run workshops on marketing. Pretty much anything marketing, I'm involved.

Mitch:

Yeah. And I I I just didn't was not paid attention to that at all because, and then you you you you gave me a helping hand. I always remember that you actually told me that I'll not to not to work with you at the time, which I really respected within the the business industry. Because when you're looking for help within anything, whether it is fitness, business, relationships, if someone has a business, you just expect them to be like, come and work with me. Yeah.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah. And that really built some trust from the the instinct where you just like, yeah. I'm not for you. Go and work with this person.

Mitch:

And I was like, what? So, yeah, that's that's when I really kind of trusted everything that you you you said from there. And so, like, in terms of that, like, because I've got a lot of trustful things that you say. How how important do you feel like trust is within business but also of of relationships and life in general?

Joel:

Well, for me, it's everything. I think we live in a bit of a period at the moment where people are perhaps quite loose with the truth. I think, you know, on both sides of the argument, if we're talking politically or whatever, I think people tend to be play quite fast and loose with the truth and and, so you never quite know what the truth is and that really that really bothers me, but I also see it as a really good opportunity for people who've got integrity. Because like you say, when I met you, I knew that there was someone better suited to your business than me. Mhmm.

Joel:

And the right thing to do is to tell you that.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

I mean, I coulda, like, just, like, over the course of the next year had 20 grand out of you. Done an alright job, but it wouldn't have been as good as the person I sent you to. And, like, now here you are asking me to be on your podcast, so it's paid off. Then, like, if someone said to you, who do you know that could help me with my marketing? I'm fairly confident you would point in my way 100%.

Joel:

Because I did that. And, like, for me it's it's been a case of probably trying hard to be a good person, trying hard to be a nice person, knowing that that sometimes makes me vulnerable to be taken advantage of, people taking the piss, but it's worth it. Like, I'd rather be able to sleep at night and occasionally get done over than be an absolute bastard and Yeah. But never get screwed.

Mitch:

Yeah. I think, look, I pride myself in recommendations, like, I take my recommendations very seriously. If someone asks me for for a good film to watch, in that instinct, I'm like, I've gotta make sure it's a good film and

Joel:

So if I ask you right now what's a good film? So what what should I be watching?

Mitch:

Depends what what you're asking.

Joel:

Because I take films real seriously.

Mitch:

And, again, it's like I wanna just say a good the top film off my head. It'd be like, what's what kind of film are you looking for right now?

Joel:

So I like things that are quite dramatic, normally based in some semblance of truth, but doesn't have to be an autobiography.

Mitch:

You ever watched Cheap Thrills? Nope. Okay. That is my favorite film by the way. Like, it's it's not because no one really knows about it and it has a a lot of dramatic turns in it, so Jeep Rules.

Joel:

Nice.

Mitch:

That's that's one I will recommend. Who's in it? I don't even know if you'd know many of the actors. I think the guy from, who's, what's that? The British, I am terrible with names.

Mitch:

It's like the zombie film. Is it it's like a comedy sketch. It's pretty sketchy.

Joel:

Shaun of the Dead.

Mitch:

Shaun of the Dead. The guy the the the guy with the, like, kind of strawberry blonde hair. Okay. I think I think he's in it. I may have just completely got the wrong guy mixed up, but someone that looks like him is essentially unknown actors.

Mitch:

Okay. But yeah. Yeah. Things like that, I have to really kind of, take care of. If someone recommends me a film and it's, like, completely off off what I was looking for, I'm never asking that person ever again for anything.

Mitch:

So, yeah, I think within that relates to business and, relationships and, yeah, of the recommendation you gave me was a a wicked one as well. So, again, I'd always come back to you for for advice. So I do think that's, really important. So within this podcast, we wanna help people really start to align their desires within whatever they wanna go and do. Mhmm.

Joel:

A lot

Mitch:

of people come to me for health and fitness. Yep. But then once they make that change and transformation within themselves, they're all they're also starting to think, like, what else can I start to change, and what else can I start to grow within? Yeah. And sometimes that leads to they, wanna put themselves into the dating world and start and start relationships.

Mitch:

Sometimes it leads to starting, like, a new boxing adventure, adventure, like a new sport. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes it's like they wanna go and start a business because they've they're in a a a 9 till 5. They they may be getting good pay.

Mitch:

They may they may not be, but they're just essentially not enjoying what they're doing. Yeah. So where did it start for you in terms of, like, starting starting this, like, starting your

Joel:

So, I studied graphic design at university.

Mitch:

Okay.

Joel:

When I was a kid, I always wanted to be like an animator or a graphic designer. That was like my thing. Like, when Toy Story came out when I was like a little kid, I was just so blown away. I was like, this is this is next level. How do I get a piece of this?

Joel:

So I was actually worked all that time. I used to love drawing cartoons, really keen to be an animator, went to university and, the animation course was shit. It was, like, real bad and so I switched to graphic design. Right. Okay.

Joel:

Which I felt like still scratched the same itch but totally different. But there was a lot more corporate led, there was a lot more business stuff on the graphic design compared to animation. So did that, worked in the design industry and then around Chester for a couple of years and then my mum got ill and I moved back to Shropshire without a job, because it was the right thing to do. And took a graphic design role at a local which meant I was then working out in China, having to manage budgets, looking at, like, cost margins and things like that. So it was like some of the marketing stuff was starting to seep in.

Joel:

Right. And the recession hit, and they were they it wasn't that they were gonna get rid of me, but I could see the writing was on the wall in that space. They manufactured lots of stuff for, conferences and people were cancelling conferences left, right, and center. Right. So trying to be an accountant Okay.

Joel:

Like massive shift.

Mitch:

Wow.

Joel:

But loosely, if you combine

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

The accountancy and the numbers of accountancy and margins and profit margins and return on investment with the creativity of graphic design, you might land on marketing.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got some good foundation.

Joel:

Yeah. So once I did that, I set up my own design agency that was successful, built it up, moved into an office, but when I moved into an office I was sharing with my then well, my soon to be business partner who ran a copywriting agency. So we combined the 2 agencies to create Codebreak, built up the marketing agency, ran that for like 8, nearly 9 years together, and then last month I bought him out. So

Mitch:

Wow. Here we are. Wow. That's, that's a journey. And, like, the we was talking about, like, in terms of changing relationships and and veering off and stuff, but, like, what's your experience been within where you were then, but also, like, where you are now?

Joel:

So there was a few triggers, which I think I should be honest about. So, I had a traumatic childhood and, as a result of that the chicken sort of came home to roost when I was swapping jobs. So my mental health was sort of on the floor, real bad issues of depression, anxiety, when I was doing the accountancy job to the point where, I was very functional, so I never missed a day of work, but I was incredibly depressed, So, like, my family were worried about me driving to work, for example, and driving back from work. It was like it wasn't good. How long ago we say this is?

Joel:

So I said this

Mitch:

is like I would have been

Joel:

23. I'm 37 now, so 14 years ago. Yes. So there are really significant issues with with my mental health to the point where I just said I'm gonna stop this job. I didn't know if it was the job that was causing it, but I needed that break.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

And what most normal people do in that scenario is start, find something that's a bit more gentle and chill, and I decided to start a business. But Yeah. It if if I'm really honest, like, it was kind of the making of me. Like, I'm not saying I haven't had struggles with my mental health since, and I'm sure we'll get into it, but it it gave me a sense of purpose, and I wasn't doing it for someone else. Now I'm I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being an employee.

Joel:

I've got employees here.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

But it's really important as an employer that I give them a sense of purpose that they they see what they get out of it.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

And when I started to, like, have an impact on other people's lives and make them feel good about their businesses and, like, give back to the community and be able to support the charities I wanted to support, that lifted a lot of pressure off me. Now obviously in business, there's things like VAT and, like, staff and offices and, like, late payments that are very stressful, but if you have ever if you've been unfortunate enough to experience depression, stress and depression are very different. Like, stress is like the opposite of excitement. It's like it's it's like you you kind of buzz in.

Mitch:

There's a lot of, yeah, a lot of energy in there. Yeah.

Joel:

Depression is like no energy.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah. Empty.

Joel:

Yeah. Empty, soulless, like, kind of wishing like that when you go to sleep you don't wake up the next day. Completely different. And so I actually handle stress quite well until I don't. But the the press and so it get yeah.

Joel:

That was the foundation of it all, really. It gave me a

Mitch:

Yeah. It's interesting. I never heard it explained like that. And I've had both. Yeah.

Mitch:

And, yeah, that that's that's that's that's really helped actually because, yeah, it is sometimes it's the questioning, am I depressed? Am I stressed? Like Yeah. You can catch yourself kind of questioning that. But if you just have that simple analogy, like, do you feel like you're full of energy?

Mitch:

Yeah. Are you about to burst with stress or, like or do you feel like there's there's nothing there?

Joel:

And that like I think it's called rumination. So when when you're hyper anxious you're ruminating on all your thoughts all the time. So you're trying to solve things that you probably can't solve. And then when you reach burnout and drop off a cliff and run out of energy and you've gone, that's the depressed stage. Mhmm.

Joel:

But you still ruminate, it's just that you haven't got the energy to, like,

Mitch:

cycle When you say ruminate, what what do you mean?

Joel:

So it's like when a thought's so embedded in your head it doesn't matter what you do, you can't stop thinking about that thing and you go over it and over and over it trying to solve it. Very, like, it got its positives and its negatives. It's horrendous if you're doing it from a negative standpoint, so it's like anxiety or depression. It's amazing if you've got a problem to solve in business that you're really lit up about.

Mitch:

Yes. Yeah.

Joel:

But, shit, if you've got, like, a wife or girlfriend and all they want you to do is on the film in the cinema and you're there trying to, like, crack the code.

Mitch:

You're speaking from experience there? Mhmm. Yeah.

Joel:

Big time. Like, my my wife is a saint because, like, I've had other struggles since that. I'm not saying, you know, I'm not saying I'm, like, completely healed or cured and never would, but she sometimes understands that she needs to leave me to it. Like, I'll let like and then and also she knows when to intervene. She would like and we've just been talking about this before the podcast.

Joel:

So having just taken over the business a 100%, I'm not in a negative space at all, but I have been using a lot of energy. And she said to me, on Saturday, I'm going with a friend to the seaside. You should go and do something for yourself. Mhmm. And I know when she says that, it's a hint.

Joel:

Yeah.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Saskia's the same for me.

Mitch:

She she'll say, like, you should spend the night alone tonight. Like No. She's going out, like, rather than, like, invite people over, which, like, invite some friends over and, like, you should have a bit of you time. And I think she's she has it in different ways. Sometimes it's like just, yeah, some nice little general advice.

Mitch:

Sometimes it's like she'll break my balls, and she'll be like, you've pretty much been a bit of a pussy. And you need to, like, just start

Joel:

start making your own wounds. Like, I don't know how long you guys have been together, but I don't think it's as long as me and Ham. How did you get to the point where she felt confident to do that, do you think?

Mitch:

Or was

Joel:

she always like that? She

Mitch:

she was outspoken. Yeah. Speaks her mind, but we went on a a personal development journey together with, like, Super Genius. And we I remember remember speaking to someone actually, and he was just about to do it, and then he said, yeah, I've I've started with my partner because I thought if I do this journey, I'm I'm gonna grow, and I'm fearful we're gonna grow apart Yeah. If we're not kind of on this same journey together.

Mitch:

So, yeah, I Saskia had no idea what it was, and we walked into this, workshop and blown our minds. And, yeah, we eventually started to go on that journey together, and I think that was quite a key thing for us because I kind of, like, embraced it fully. She did, like, little bits of

Joel:

it Yeah.

Mitch:

Just because she understood the foundations, and we're both quite growth minded people. It allows us just to communicate honestly, openly. It's not always a nice conversation. We have to get over our our own egos to to be able to talk on an adult level, and help each other. But I think that really helps because then we have an have an open but real relationship.

Mitch:

I think too many people don't, and they'll they'll settle in a relationship that they're not happy with. Maybe they're too scared to express themselves. Men, we're not great at it. Mhmm. But I think it's it's that fear mindset of if I express this, then I may lose whatever I've got, whether that's a reluctant person, business Yeah.

Joel:

I think with men, like, you think people are gonna think less of you for, like, expressing your feelings. Yeah. But, like, for me, wife included, my close friends I can probably count on one hand, and all of them I could express myself to.

Mitch:

That's perfect.

Joel:

Positive or negative. Yeah. And I could also if they've done something that I disagree with, I could tell them and it wouldn't ruin our friendship. That's alright. But Yeah.

Mitch:

I love that you've done that funny. That's my kind of humor. Yeah.

Joel:

So yeah. Yeah. Like, I could express myself positively or negatively to them or if I disagree with something they've done, I could say. To them, or if I disagree with something they've done, I

Mitch:

could say. Like, we had one yesterday.

Joel:

This this this is controversial for a podcast, big time. Love it. So it's the Olympics. Yeah. And The Netherlands have got a beach volleyball player in their team who, was convicted of child rape in the UK.

Mitch:

Yes, my partner says he was on about it. Yeah.

Joel:

And, but his his sentence got transferred to the Netherlands. They have different laws, and they convicted him of the crime of fornication and he only served 13 months, but he was actually 19 and he and he'd forced a 12 year old into whatever. Fornication, what does that mean? I think in this country it just means sex, but Right. Yeah.

Joel:

I think it's basically say basically what the Dutch is saying is it was consensual and I don't think it was. Anyway

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

This guy's controversial as hell.

Mitch:

Of course. Yeah.

Joel:

He's 19, she was 12. And there's been uproar that he's at the Olympics. There's been, like, people mistakenly wishing him luck and all sorts, like, it's been all over the place. And and my friendship group yesterday kicked off about it, so it was like, what do you think about this guy being at the Olympics? And I and I said, devil's advocate, if he served his sentence, who are we to decide what he gets to do with the rest of his life?

Joel:

Now I'm not I'm not saying I fully believe that because what he did to Borrant

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

But I have the sort of friendship group where we can have that discussion and we're all still friends. Yeah. And I think that's kind of quite rare. I think people are very, like, black and white, they're very, like, polarized and people are like, oh, you must be right wing or left wing, it must be yes or no. And I'm like, well, no.

Joel:

The the truth is always somewhere in the middle. And, like, to be honest, like, the best thing you can do for your self development is listen to other opinions even if you don't agree with them and and sort of thread the needle a little bit, see what you can unpick and what bits are useful for you and why might that person think that way rather than, like, you might know that they're wrong, but understanding why they think like that is probably more a more positive experience for you and and better for your own development than just writing them off as a person. 100%.

Mitch:

I think especially as a business owner Yeah. And you need to deal with different people, whether you're working with them or it's a a a business prospect or whatever supplier like. You're gonna encounter different relationships and especially manage your team. Like, you you it's all about understanding people and how they work, and I've always been that person who who likes to hear. They might be the answer might be completely obscure, but I'm more more so interested to hear, like, how they got to that answer, like, how they're thinking.

Mitch:

I don't know if it's because I did psychology in, like, a levels, and I always used to love that kind of, like, how how people how the brain works, how people think. But, yeah, I feel like if you you can take offence from it. Like, I've just done a a standard comedy course and which I did mention to you before.

Joel:

You do enjoy time. Yeah.

Mitch:

And, I found it so fascinating how it's like the most diverse group of people you could ever meet. Like, these people never meant to walk into a room and meet each other. That was never meant to happen, but they've got all these different senses of humor. And sometimes people go way over the line thinking they they think they're funny, but they're they're just being offensive. And rather than getting offended like, I'm in a minority.

Mitch:

I could get offended by certain things that people say. Rather than getting offended, especially within that environment where people just tryna make people laugh, I find it interesting just to hear how they got to that and what their way of thinking is. Yeah. And I think you can apply apply that to to life if you really wanna understand understand people.

Joel:

Well, I suspect in that environment as well, much much like in business, people aren't deliberately trying to be offensive. They might be being naive or mistaken.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

But it's not the same as, like, marching in the streets with a terrible opinion. It's it's like it's like ultimately a comedy thing. You're trying to make people laugh. Now I appreciate hang on, mate. That that's just not funny.

Joel:

Or if people

Mitch:

are laughing at that,

Joel:

they're laughing at it for the wrong reasons. Mhmm. But like you say, better to explore that behind closed doors whilst he's doing his training or she's doing her her training. Yeah. And behind closed doors whilst he's doing his training or she's doing that her training than for for them to step on stage and end up, like, getting beaten up or something.

Joel:

Yeah.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah. And it's like figuring it out. Like, we whatever you see on Instagram, whether it's, like, your marketing message you're putting out there, that wasn't the the finished start. That wasn't the first thing that

Joel:

you Yeah. Yeah.

Mitch:

It was like it was a process to actually get into that point, and it's the same on the comedy stage. I used to think it's just like, yeah, people get up there and just speak speak their stuff, but it's like it's weeks weeks and months months years years of building that content to to the point where they can just put it out there.

Joel:

What made you do that?

Mitch:

Two reasons. So number 1 was my own confidence. Public speaking is something that I always shied away always shied away from the spotlight. I used to do, like, kickboxing, and I used to be good at it. And for that reason, I didn't wanna do it because it was like a I'd get put up I think I'd put up on the assembly, projector once, and, I just hated it.

Mitch:

Like, I was able it's like it's giving giving me praise.

Joel:

Massive realization because my my my little brother's really good at sport. I'm really good.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

And he whenever he got to a level where people would take notice, he quit.

Mitch:

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I've only just realized it as I was saying it then and, like, yeah, I just shied away from it and to the point where I didn't really progress as much as I could have.

Mitch:

So I felt like I needed to get my message out there more. What we do in terms of, like, the body transformation is amazing. But if I can't get my message out, then I can't help the people that I wanna help. I wanna help people globally. So, without being able to market yourself, you can't help any you can be the best coach in the world.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah. So just being able to speak speak like this to people, like, I thought there's there's nothing better or scarier than going up there and doing a stand up comedy performance, and just being able to deliver something in that sense. So I think I've always liked speakers, that have a bit of humor towards them, and and I've always drawn myself towards those people. So I wanted to learn that skill.

Mitch:

And then the second reason was because I wanted to inspire people to just go after whatever they desire. And

Joel:

So I'll I'll be honest with you. I I saw it from a distance. So I knew before you told me I saw it on your socials, and I was like, that's wicked. It made me feel inspired. I was like, that's because I obviously knew you as well.

Joel:

I've sat in a mastermind of you where I wouldn't say you're shy, but you're certainly not, like, the center of attention or out of going. Yeah. And, yeah, I I was like, that is ace. And and I know somebody else that's just gone through the same thing, and they're a completely different character. They love being the center of attention.

Joel:

Yeah. So the contrast was massive.

Mitch:

Yeah. You did get a mix of that. That. Yeah. Introverts, extra extroverts.

Mitch:

I was always introverted. Didn't grow up around, like, siblings, so it's always just just me, me and myself. And, yeah, it really helped me just to kind of step out of that. And I had at the end of the show, I had one of my clients come up to me and said, I might have accidentally put my name down for the next one. I was like, you know, that's kinda made it for me because I wanted to see if I could inspire inspire just someone to go and do it.

Mitch:

It didn't have to be comedy, then just go and do that. Like, my mom's someone who's, yeah, she might not go after things, and she's recently started to kinda, like, do more things solo. And she went to, like, a a theater the other day just on her own just because she just because she wanted to, like, booking holidays. So things like that, which you never know how much of a ripple effect you can have just by doing one

Joel:

thing that

Mitch:

you'd love to go and do. So, yeah, the comedy side, that was a big thing for me. And you're you're a man of humor. Mhmm. Sometimes.

Mitch:

And I think that's one thing that attracted me to to you that is that you, yeah, you obviously, what you said was trustworthy, but also the way you delivered it was real humorous. And, yeah, Link, where does that come from for for yourself? Where does your sense of humor come from? So my

Joel:

my mom's side of the family are are quite dry. Like, they have a a dry sense of humor. Big, like, big piss takers, I'd say. And, like, on both, like, the male and female side too, Everything's a little bit of a joke. You're never quite sure if someone's been serious and, like, you know, like Christmas games and stuff were always, like, a little bit too far.

Joel:

And as I grew up, I realized it was a coping mechanism, like, that Yes. Been through quite a few things like well, my my mum in particular, my dad had severe mental health issues in and out of hospital, quite abusive when he was at home and stuff. So the fact that she could, like, still make me laugh when she had all that going on, I had, like, tremendous respect for that. Yeah. And then the other side of it was I was very frustrated at school, so I I used to think I was bullied.

Joel:

I'm not so sure of that anymore. I think I was more sensitive. I don't think I really came under much more stick than other people. I just felt it.

Mitch:

What makes you say that?

Joel:

Well, at the time it felt very personal and I was very much in my own head and like like I was the main character in the story. And as an adult, I'm like, you're not the main character in the story. The those people said that stuff to you and didn't even think about it. Interesting. It wasn't like victimization.

Joel:

It wasn't like they were waiting for me in the locker room or something.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. But I at the time I really felt it. So because there were kids at school who were quite sharp witted or just a little bit nasty because that's how they, like, kept the pecking order or, you know, they'd, like, jab you in the ribs as you're walking up the stairs, whatever.

Mitch:

Yeah. Kids are brilliant. Yeah.

Joel:

I I learned to have, like, a sharp tongue, and so, like, definitely, like, would get cancelled today type tumor. So, So, like, if, say, like, the class bully was turning his attention to me and he'd be like, I'm gonna give you a whipping. I don't think anyone ever said that, but if he did, I would turn around and say, what? Like the one I gave your mum last

Mitch:

night? Yeah.

Joel:

And I'd be like 12 years old. And and, like, the whole room would go,

Mitch:

did he

Joel:

actually just say that to me? And he'd say, oh, sorry. It was your dad. Like, that's how I started to develop my humor was like a coping mechanism and to be like to take myself from being a victim

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

To, like, being like

Mitch:

Do do you feel like it helps you, like, within, say, in that situation? Did you did you get the result you wanted to help with the bullying? Like, did you did you just did it scare them off through? Ish.

Joel:

Ish. Like, it I'd say 75% of people quickly realized leave him alone. At the same time, I was I was hypercompetitive, so I was good at sport at school. I exercised a lot. I was I never wanted to lose, so I always had to be in, like, the top 1 or 2 or a 3 k.

Joel:

Yeah. And so I physically developed at the same time as, like, my humor developed. So they're like the others who were a bit say, if you upset them with lashing back with a quick one liner, they, might get physical. Mhmm. But, like, fortunately, I was, like, 6 foot 2 at 12 years old.

Joel:

And then, well, which way do you want it? Would you rather I took the piss out of your mom Yeah. Or should we have a scrap? And I I was never a fighter, but I just fortunately had some physical stature where I was like, okay. If if you're one of the, like, proper bullies, I'll stand up to you.

Joel:

Yeah. And if you're, like, one of the girls or one of the lads that are just, like, tearing into people and victimizing someone Yeah. I'm gonna turn it on you with with, like, humor.

Mitch:

Yeah. Interesting. Because like, bullies, like, the impact it has on us, I think we don't even understand this. It still has an impact on us now. Whenever you go down, put put out a message, that doubt within your mind is probably a bully or

Joel:

Yeah.

Mitch:

Yeah. A friend who said something that's that's damaged you. And we went a a martial arts school and, teaching kickboxing, but it's always around around building your confidence. Yeah. A lot of it is parents putting their kids into school, secondary school at brutal time, and, yeah, wanting them to be able to handle themselves.

Mitch:

And it's it's interesting that you said within your humor, people kind of are like, yeah, a bit hesitant to go and go for you if you if you if you can handle yourself verbally. But, because physically, I I experienced the same thing. It was like I wasn't the biggest talker, but people knew that I would just get locked in. Probably best to leave him alone. And that kinda helped me.

Mitch:

I knew that if someone did start, we used to have, like, year 11 to try and rub our ball.

Joel:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think everyone's been a bit

Mitch:

of a big big I remember one time the year 11s are coming to chasing us, trying to get our ball, and each one of the guys come to kind of rub your tackle me. Instinctively, I've just brought my knee up and made him in the face. He's just unable me to do it. And, like, everyone's got, oh, I mean, it's just just maybe here. Blah blah blah.

Mitch:

And he's like, he's going around the school. And, like, yeah, he's he's never got any problems because people kinda knew, yeah, it's probably not best to

Joel:

just tell your children to My parents sent me to judo from a young age.

Mitch:

Yes. You did judo, didn't you? Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. So, like, same same logic, I think, was like I think they probably recognized he's a bit sensitive.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

But he's a big lad. Let's, like, put him to work.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

And, so they sent me to pyjama wrestling and but I I was good at it and my brother was good at it too and it it makes a difference because, like and it judo's quite because it's a non striking sport. It's quite good in the sense that if someone physically picks on you, you can probably put them on their arse without doing them too much damage.

Mitch:

Yes. Yeah.

Joel:

And and so you you'd like wouldn't really get in trouble. Someone attack you and then end up on the floor. Yeah. And they'd be like, how how how did that happen? Yeah.

Mitch:

Because obviously, it's kick butt because we were told we can't use your hands and fists. I remember actually slapping someone. My mom's watching this, I remember. Yeah. That's that's Just slapping someone in, to go out there.

Mitch:

I can't use my fist. I'm gonna get gonna get in trouble there. So it's interesting you you've got a sport like that, which I think is important. Is that the only martial arts you did?

Joel:

Yeah. I I dabbled with boxing when I went to university just to scratch the itch. Yeah. But, but, yeah, the the judo I like it was really good for discipline, really good for, like, attention because if you don't pay attention you end up dropped on your head. Mhmm.

Joel:

I think, like, it's moved on a lot from when I did it, but when I was doing it the only sort of downside to it was you were repeatedly getting dropped on your head as practice.

Mitch:

Right. Which I just

Joel:

don't think they do that now.

Mitch:

Is that because you you've, like, inexperienced people, if you get dropped

Joel:

Well, I say dropped on your head. You're getting thrown over and over again. So the impact on your head and your brain is just like bosh bosh bosh. And I just don't Is

Mitch:

that because you're flipping all that?

Joel:

Yeah. It's called randorian judo. So, like, you practice by doing a throw 30 times and

Mitch:

then and

Joel:

then they do it to you 30 times.

Mitch:

So it's it's not actually because you it's not you're not not physically landing on your head. It's more of the rotation.

Joel:

Yeah. You land on your back. You're like you're taught how to land, but it's a hard impact. And the mats weren't what they are now. And Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. Like, I I used to train on, like, a real thin, like, proper, like, dojo style mat. Yeah. Now they have, like, the PE style gymnastics mats.

Mitch:

Yeah. So Yeah. Well, I went to thought about yesterday, which is saying and, like, the roller coasters are coming off. I was like, this is not good for my my brain. I was thinking, like, my brain must just be rattling Yeah.

Mitch:

Inside, and I was, like, getting a bit delirious. But, I always think, like, back to getting kicked in the head. I was like, I wonder how much damage it actually caused me. Like They're

Joel:

they're getting funny about kids heading the ball in

Mitch:

football now, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, it's interesting. So within sports, health, and fitness, like, what what roles has that played within your life?

Mitch:

Well, essentially, previously, but also So,

Joel:

I mean, I'm I'm certainly not in the shape I should be now, and I would say my fitness drop off coincided with my mental health drop off, which you can decide whether it's leaked or not. Yeah. But, as a kid I was always fit, really, like super fit. And also my parents got me a paper round when I was 11. And I I we were talking about this before, I grew up in a very hilly, like, mountainous area.

Mitch:

By the way, he lives in Shrewsbury. So

Joel:

Yeah. So I grew up in South Shropshire.

Mitch:

Oh, you're in Shropshire. Yeah. I've I've just realized I'm in Shropshire now. I was like, have you ever been to Shropshire now? Yeah.

Joel:

So South Shropshire is all hills. Yeah. And Church Street and where I grew up is all hills. So you my paper round took me an hour and 20 minutes every day and it's like up up very steep hills and then and like the the other side of it was good fun but, so I I had like monstrous legs from my bike on this paper round. I was strong.

Joel:

I was fit. I played in 2 football teams. I did judo. I was in the athletics team. And, like, that was my outlet.

Joel:

Like, I had a lot of shit going on at home. And so I'd be like I'd like be really looking for, yeah, if I'm gonna score on Saturday or, like, I'm gonna win that 100 meter race. Like, it was quick.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. And it was a way of earning respect as well because because I'm a bit of a geek. Like, no one likes the kid that answers all the questions in maths. So I I learned over time, stop answering the questions. You know the answer anyway.

Joel:

So you it doesn't like, you don't need to mass out your ego by being the first to answer. You can expend that competitive energy on the football pitch or at judo or on the, like, 100 meter track.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

And, that served me really well. But when I when I got, like, 16, 17 ish, I got really bad ingrown toenails on both feet and grew up in an area where there was loads of old people so the weight for like a podiatrist was like 2. Yeah. Yeah. And, parents certainly couldn't afford to send me for like private surgery or anything.

Joel:

I started to put on weight, couldn't play football. When I did play football, my feet would lick my toes would actually burst, which is gross. But Oh, yeah. Really?

Mitch:

When I had I had a bit of a graphic, first podcasting, I knew. But yeah. That you Yeah. Let's continue that.

Joel:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and so I became less and less active and, at the same time, discovered girls. And it was a bit of a shit mix, really, and, like, I've never really managed to get myself back to where I was.

Joel:

And,

Mitch:

how long ago was that service?

Joel:

So I was super fit till I was 16, 17, went to uni, put on a lot of weight, came back from uni, managed to get myself back to a healthy weight and and that and quite active again. And then, my mental health fell off a cliff, and I've never really got back to where I wanna be.

Mitch:

So interesting in how we we we like I say, it's a coincidence, but for me, this it was the same. Like, when I crashed and fractured my knee, I was also the athletic one, always did sports, and all of a sudden, it just stopped. And I was following a year of uni, just studying, like, not training, and I was just in the pan. Like, my I was waking up with, like, I was just, like, had health anxiety, and health anxiety is where you've you essentially, the the hypochondriacs, and you think Yeah.

Joel:

And, like, how much has to hurt?

Mitch:

Yeah. You think if you chest up, it's it's a heart attack. If you you find a a a a bump or a lump or a foot, I have test testicular cancer, stomach cancer, brain cancer, but I thought I had everything. And going to the doctors and literally, they were just, like, tests are coming back negative, all good. And I was getting frustrated.

Mitch:

There's gotta be something wrong with me. And I re I eventually realized after a long period of probably, like, 6 months of just being in a dark place, I wasn't training. I wasn't moving my body. I wasn't looking after myself health and fitness wise. And when I started to do that, slowly, I started to get myself back to a place where, yeah, I could function and I could go out there and start to be myself again.

Mitch:

So, yeah, it's interesting how they're linked because for yourself now, like, how important do you feel like health is towards your business and what you're doing now?

Joel:

It's it's really important. I don't take it as serious as I should. My lack of activity always coincides with high periods of, like, anxiety or depression. And, you know, I'm I'm in a good spell at the moment, so I've, like, dropped a little bit of weight. I'm exercising more.

Joel:

Earlier in the year, I did go back to playing 5 a side with my mates, but realized it would be sensible to drop a bit more weight before I, like, pop a knee or something.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. And, so it's like, that's a nice place to be where I like I'm enjoying going to the gym. I'm enjoying, like, being quite mindful about the food that I eat. Like, not I haven't got it perfect. I certainly can't preach about it, but it it it just does make a difference.

Joel:

So even today, like, little things. So I knew you were coming, so I got in and I had a big pint of water with a hydration session in it.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

That will make a world of difference to me starting the day with a coffee. I've had a coffee since.

Mitch:

Mhmm. But

Joel:

if I just started with

Mitch:

a coffee straight after that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

Like, those little things make a massive difference. Like, at lunch time, like, here, always have quite a high protein, low carb meal because I don't get the afternoon crush then. And if I don't get the afternoon crush, I'm more productive.

Mitch:

Yes.

Joel:

And so I I think I am actually thinking about it all the time. Like, try trying over time, like, I've I think I've lost 8 kilos this year.

Mitch:

That's good going. That is yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

I've got another 20 kilos to go. Like, I'm not diluted. Yeah. But it's it's made a difference to how much productive time I can put into the business. Like, I'm almost, like, back to how I'm thinking when I was doing judo at a high level.

Joel:

Like, how will this impact my meeting tomorrow? How will this impact

Mitch:

Yes. Yeah. Performance? How how much do you think it can cost you, like, if you if you don't have your your health and fitness in the right place?

Joel:

I think for some people, massively. And, like, for me, obviously, there's an an intrinsic link between health and mental well-being. But the other side of it is if you are feeling low or anxious, and then you go to put your favorite clothes on and they don't fit, Or you look in the mirror and you don't like what's looking back at you. It just compounds the shit that's going on in your head. Yeah.

Joel:

And, like, it's not nice. And I I don't think you should spend pay too much attention to your ego. I think that's a dangerous place to put yourself. But inevitably, when you're tired or worn out or depressed or anxious, that's what you're gonna hear the loudest. Mhmm.

Joel:

So if if it's like, oh, I can put my favorite jumper on and just feel a little bit better about myself.

Mitch:

Feel better.

Joel:

That's no bad thing.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Mitch:

It's interesting. And I think the what you pay attention to, like you say, can be at the forefront. Like, when when we did the comedy shows, like, the it's interesting to see some of the best people within, like, the the practicing when they got up on stage, kind of their nerves and negative emotions started to take over and, started to, like, rush through the lines or forget forget what they were saying. And, I'm someone who's always taken pride in my my health fitness

Joel:

Yeah.

Mitch:

Mentally and physically now, especially since my mental health problems and managed to kind of apply what I've learned to the comedy and make sure I am training. I am eating well. I am, focusing on the the more positive emotions. So I think the the link between Alpha Fitness, I've always tried to see. And in terms of, like, yourself now, so you've obviously got your team members around.

Mitch:

You've got a lot of businesses that you work with and, obviously, amazing business yourself. Like, what's the what's the difference for you if you if you stay on top of, like, health and fitness? What what what difference will that make to to the business over the next 5, 10 years if you if you do stand up for that?

Joel:

Massive. Massive. Like, I've never had, like, an issue with drink or anything, but food, definitely had a really weird relationship with food. Like, some of it's stemming from, didn't have much money when we were kids. So if there was a buffet, I was gonna demolish it because I might not see another buffet for 6 months.

Joel:

And that kind of stuck, like, you know, like, the things that you get told, like, make sure you finish your plate because, like, that's cost us a lot of money. And so, well, I'm full. Like, finish your dinner. Like, but I'm full. No.

Joel:

You're not full. Like, I promise I'm full. And that kind of thing stuck. And then also, like, the thing that got me as a kid that I don't think served me very well is, like, sweet things and, like, fast food and and crisps and stuff were a treat.

Mitch:

Yes.

Joel:

And actually, them being called a treat, I think, was a real problem for me. Because when I became more successful later in life, I could afford a lot of treats.

Mitch:

To treat yourself. Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

And and my my treat that had been ingrained in me since I was a kid was bad food, And and that's a spiral behavior then of, like Yeah. I've done well at work today. I deserve a treat. Should we have a Chinese? Yeah.

Joel:

I'll just order some chocolate because after you've had a big salty meal, you could probably do something sweet.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. But I'm full. Yeah. Yeah. But finish your meal, Joel, because your mom told you to when you were 3.

Joel:

And

Mitch:

finish your meal. Like yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. It's not much fault. I'm in control of it. But that that kinda, like, I know if I get into that like, I always eat fairly well Monday to Thursday anyway. Like, that's easy.

Joel:

I've got shit to do. I'm at work. I've got stuff to worry about. Like, I'm in a process. I'm in a routine.

Joel:

Friday night to Monday morning is the danger zone because it's like, oh, I've had a good week. I deserve a treat.

Mitch:

Yes.

Joel:

Oh, I had a Chinese last night, so it's not gonna matter if I have a bacon sandwich this morning. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, I had a bacon sandwich for breakfast, and now we're out in out, like, wandering around the country park or whatever it is we're doing. Yeah. Oh, just order a cream tea.

Joel:

And then it's like, oh, we're home now. A bit tired. We're here for a long walk. Should we just order a take? And before you know it but the the issue with that, for me, and I think a lot of other people, is you come into work the following Monday, and you're nowhere near as good as you should be.

Joel:

You haven't slept properly because

Mitch:

your

Joel:

body's gone fucking bananas. Yeah. You've you're not energized because you've just filled yourself full of shit. You feel, like, bloated. You don't feel right.

Joel:

Yeah. And so it's Wednesday before you're kinda back to where you should be, and then it's nearly Friday again. Yeah. And I, like Yes.

Mitch:

Matthew, you haven't had a drink?

Joel:

Yeah. Yeah. That's about alcohol. Exactly. And, like, I'm getting better with the food side, but my approach to alcohol has always been, if I'm going on a stag do or, like, I'm going on a big night out, just expect the next couple of days to be shit.

Joel:

Yeah. And if you're willing to sacrifice those 2 days, that's okay.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

But if you're not, don't do it. And so I've had sober nights, like, big nights out where I'm sober because I said, well, no. Because the next couple of days are really important to me. Mhmm. And I'm and I'm not willing to sacrifice it.

Mitch:

Have you have you always been like that where you can you can you can because I I remember going on a Christmas night out, and I thought, one of my clients had just said, like, she's not drinking for, like, 3 months. I was like, okay. Let me try and support her within this. How how how can I expect her to do it? I didn't ask her to do this, by the way, but I can at least support her by showing that I can I can do that?

Mitch:

And, like, the I went and ordered myself my first nonalcoholic beer that I've ever ordered and purchased. And, yeah, like, the the sips were first okay, and then everyone started to get a bit leery, and you start to see the energy changing. And all of a sudden, I started to feel like I was missing out on something, and the the FOMO started to kick in. I was like, this is really interesting how Yeah. How I feel out of place by not drinking like everyone else is.

Mitch:

Like, was was it what was it you

Joel:

guys doing? I there's definitely if if anyone's ever tried to do this, you realize how shit the conversation is when everyone's drunk, that you have to be drunk to enjoy it.

Mitch:

Yes.

Joel:

And what that you obviously, you can go two ways with that. There's like, okay. I'm gonna occasionally get drunk and go along for the ride. But there's also, like, actually, I don't need as much of that as I thought I did. Like, there's no there's no substance to this.

Joel:

Yeah. And so for me, like, I maybe have, like, 2 or 3 big nights a year now. Wow. And I'm alright with that.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

And then it might be that I go to a wedding and it's like, actually, I'm just gonna have a drink with a meal and then not really drink. Yeah. And the only bit that's tricky is that when everyone's, like, dancing like lunatics at the end of the night Yeah. You're not quite there with them. Yeah.

Joel:

But they don't notice, so it's fine.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

And, like, no one no one remembers what time you left. It's like it's you're not, like, ruining the party. Mhmm. And and I'm cool with that. Like, I've got, like, a select group of friends, much like the same people who I'm, like, positive and negative with, who is, like, yeah, I would go out for a drink with them and have a bit of a bender because I know it'll be alright.

Joel:

And and, like, yeah, I'm willing to write off a couple of days on the other side because because of my relationship with alcohol is healthy. Yeah. I think

Mitch:

We the word the word investment comes to mind with me, and I know I was listening to your podcast with with Ben Knight and Yeah. Use Wiki, by the way, and and, like

Joel:

So he's one of the ones I'd go for a drink with. That's not necessarily sensible, though.

Mitch:

No. Yeah. That that that can be a slippery slope if you if you go for a drink with Ben Knight. But, no. But in in terms of investments, I think we have these decisions where you choose to invest your it's not just money.

Mitch:

It's your time, your energy. Yeah. And is it is this a good investment of my time, money, and energy to where if I invest this with these people that I might not be having the greatest conversations with, and then I'm gonna spend it's not gonna be till Thursday when I'm back to a 100%. It's like, is that a good investment? And I think we have these these, decisions we we we have to make, whether it is a literal reinvestment into a stock or just what you do.

Mitch:

So what makes a good investment to you?

Joel:

So my my a good investment for me is that it brings me success, but my success metrics are really weird compared to a lot of people. So I think I think people think their success metric should be, did it make me a lot of money, or did it make me really happy? Neither of those really mattered to me that much. Okay. Interesting.

Joel:

And the reason the logic being, the money's only good if I can put it to good use. So did it did it create a good experience for me? Then I'm cool with it. The happiness thing, I think chasing happiness is really dangerous. I I really look forward to feeling content, and it's very different to feeling happy.

Joel:

Like, if you climb a mountain and look at the view, you don't happiness is not the overarching emotion. It's like a feeling of fulfillment and contentness. And Yes. And that's, like, restorative. It makes you feel good.

Joel:

Mhmm. Happiness is is very much like a byproduct of something that's happened. So, like, I appreciate I've not had children, but appreciate it. When your child's born, you would be overwhelmingly happy. Mhmm.

Joel:

But it will drop Yeah. Quite quickly. Yeah. And if you're like me, the drop can drop too far. Mhmm.

Joel:

So I don't chase the happiness because I I don't wanna get into that kinda, like

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

Chemical race up and down. And so, like, I've just bought the business outright, biggest investment I've ever made. And I think if people looked at it on paper, they'd be like, well, this isn't gonna return you. The risk reward ratio is not quite right. So, yeah, but I get to employ people that I really like and see them develop.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

So the experience of watching them develop, like, that's a really cool thing to get out of bed for every day. Like, I get to interact with businesses that I really like, people that I really respect. So that's a really good reason to get out of bed every day. I get kinda like this blank slate that I get to play with and do and make my own decisions. That's a good reason to get out of bed every day.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

That isn't they're not three things that I think people would put front and center when they're making an investment. Mhmm. I'd like, adversely to that, I'd I'm in the Trade Tribe run by Ben. I I do invest in stocks and shares, but I'm very emotionally detached from that. Like, the money I make from that allows me to have experiences.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

And so, like, I did really well in it. And so then my wife got to go and find, like, exotic birds in the Mexican jungle with the profits. But that that made me feel really, like, content, really, like, fulfilled because I'm not What?

Mitch:

It just mean the animal is not it's just Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. Literally exotic birds. Yeah. I was chasing the other in that column.

Mitch:

Yeah. And and, like, the in terms of, like, the investments that you make, I think it's it's it's it's really interesting that you you mentioned, like, the the happiness because it's something I've I've I've all I've also been paying attention attention to this year where I spent a lot of time last year focusing on being happy. Yeah. And a lot of the time last year, I was not happy. Like, if I was really honest with myself, I wasn't happy.

Mitch:

And, it wasn't until a coaching session with with one of my coaches, and, she said, like, you by focusing all your energy on being happy, what are you telling your mind, like, subconsciously

Joel:

Is I'm not happy now?

Mitch:

I'm not happy. Yeah. As you you're creating this distance from being happy. The more you focus on it, you're actually getting further away from it. And it was interesting.

Mitch:

So she's like, obviously, you should be what you should be focused on is I am happy, if anything, and stay in that energy where you you embrace an energy and you can almost feel what that is. But I really like what you said about content and fulfillment. Fulfillment's a word I've been using a lot more recently, also with my clients. And are you feel are you feeling fulfilled? Because I get a lot of clients say to me, I'm 10 out of 10 happiness.

Mitch:

Yeah. Happiness, 10 out of 10. But then it's like, are you are you fulfilled in what you're doing? Yeah.

Joel:

I I I did something the other day that I wouldn't advise people to do, but, I climbed Snowdon, which is well within the reach of most people, but did it in the dark Oh. At half past 12 at night, so I'm sleep deprived with the SAS.

Mitch:

Wow.

Joel:

And, and it was pissing down and cold. And it was at no point was I happy. Like, I was the furthest you can be from happy at at times. It was horrendous, but I was incredibly fulfilled. And so I did this thing, got to the bottom.

Joel:

It was miserable. It was hard. Like, I was unhappy, but I felt so fulfilled and proud of myself. And that's, like, that's the difference. Like, I I don't really like the analogy of, like, is your cup half full or is it full or half empty?

Joel:

Yeah. It's like, for me, it's like your cup should be full because then you're fulfilled. And then it doesn't matter if positive or negative things are happening because you're fulfilled.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

You can cope with them.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

And then you can choose wherever to go on that ride. So, like, oh, something really positive has happened. I can choose if I want to be happy about that. Something really negative has happened. Well, I can choose whether I want to be devastated by that.

Joel:

Now I appreciate, like, I've I've just lost a loved one, and it's sad. It is sad. It's hard. But I'm choosing for it not to dominate my life. And because I'm fulfilled in other areas, and that's not me being cold or not paying them respect, like, my auntie wouldn't want me to be overwhelmingly Yeah.

Joel:

Sad. Yeah.

Mitch:

So that's the logic. It's question I ask always ask myself that really helped me as well was when my dad passed, what what would he want me to do? Like, genuinely, what would he want? Would he want me to be sitting here depressed and, like, just licking my own wounds for the next 5 years, or would you want me to get out there, be strong, be who I wanna be, and just live my life? And it's a simple question to me, like, every time.

Mitch:

Like, I can hear him saying, just don't worry about me. Just go and do what you gotta do. Yeah. Yeah. And I can honestly say I spent 48 hours max, like, really kinda, like, feeling sorry for myself.

Mitch:

And then it was, like, back to not back to work where I was just, like like, ignoring it. Like, if I forgot sad, I'd let myself be sad and, express myself to Saskia if I needed to. But it was like, I asked myself that question every time. What do you want me to do? Yeah.

Mitch:

And I keep I I've always stood to that now and just simple question. And if anyone's ever lost someone, like, what would they truly want you to do right now if they were being their best selves? Not even if they're on a miserable day, and they wanted they were feeling sorry for themselves, and they wanted all the attention. Like, what would they wanna do? What would they really love you to do?

Mitch:

And for me, that's just carried me to to where where I am now.

Joel:

It's a it's a really positive way to think about them as well. Yeah. It's like remembering them when they were at their best.

Mitch:

Yeah. And

Joel:

what would they say in this moment right now?

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. And I think I think that, yeah, I think that can carry you a long way. It's great motivator as well. Like, I I I lost my my best friend when when I was at college, and I I always lean on that. Like, what would she want me to do?

Joel:

And, and it it's like like, let's say let's use buying the business for an example. There was times going through the motions of buying the business where I was like, this is rough. This is hard. This is a lot of money. This is a lot of stress.

Joel:

And and then I said, like, what what would she want me to do? And she said, well, she would be like, if you were on your best form and if you were, like, operating on all cylinders, you'd buy that business without a thought. So buy a fucking business.

Mitch:

It's interesting, isn't it? Yeah. But no matter how spiritual, religious you are, like, you can tap into that. Like, that I believe, like, yeah, you you're not gonna have to. You're gonna, like, in some format, whether it is afterlife or whatever, but more so, like, the memories that you leave with people.

Mitch:

Like, I have this vivid memory of my dad and how what I know of him and what he'd say in situations. Like, he never met Saskia. Like, he could have met her, but I'd I'd I'd kinda put it after you in high school. I thought, I'll wait till he come comes back out. He didn't come back out, so they never they never met.

Mitch:

And that's the one thing that really does kind of, like, bug me and kill me. But I would have looked to see them meet. But I bet any bugs her

Joel:

because you think he would have loved her?

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.

Joel:

Like, I would So that's amazing. Right?

Mitch:

Because I know for certain, like, I bet my house on it, it would have been, like, cracking jokes at her. Like like, I could I could even, like, envision the first line he would've would've said to her. It's like,

Joel:

what a lovely thing to be bugged about. Yeah. Yeah. From a I I really don't mean that in a cold way.

Mitch:

Yeah. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't see it in a cold way.

Mitch:

Like and I think it's it's just a big shift that people can make because I've got family members who are still grieving.

Joel:

Yeah.

Mitch:

Of course. It's it's it's painful to see because it's like it's he wouldn't want you to do that. He wouldn't want you to still be grieving in over him. My dad is, like, the most selfless person ever, and he'd be there to help people. Mhmm.

Mitch:

He's always be the one to come pick you up from the airport. Or if you need a if you got a problem, you it'll be it'll be over. So he would not want you to be giving away your precious precious years of your life

Joel:

Yeah. Yeah.

Mitch:

Grieving over him. So, yeah, I think there is tremendous power in that. And, like you say, I know they would've got on, and it's something that's why it's annoying. Yeah. Just to see that interaction.

Mitch:

So yeah. Like, I've the thing that I took from that is not to not to wait on things, not to leave things. If you really wanna go and do swimming, just go and do it. And I preach it to my my my my members of the community and, like, yeah, whatever your desires are, go and live that life, and you have to go through that fear. So I feel like it should be a good way to tie things up.

Mitch:

But for our community and and the people listening, if they have this thing that they truly desire that they wanna go and do, it could be health and fitness. It could be relationships. It could be their career or purpose that they wanna go and fulfill. But what what is your, I'm gonna say, 2. Give me 2 bits of advice.

Mitch:

I mean, we'll push I was gonna say 1, but I think I think you can straight up into it. Two bits of advice to go and start a a real desire for them.

Joel:

So I'll tell you how I got to behaving like that because my journey is slightly different to how you've got there. I was very much stuck in my own head with mental health and and life and the whole, like, didn't realize I'm not the main character kind of thing. And then I met my wife. And she'd had a difficult upbringing, but in a very different way to me. Like, lovely family, quite a middle class upbringing.

Joel:

But she'd she was born with club feet, and so she'd had, like by the time she was, like, 15, she'd had multiple operations and spent a lot of time in a wheelchair. She was the kid at school who always had, like, a frame on her leg or, like, in a wheelchair or unable to do PE. And you'd think someone like that might be quite introvert and shy and maybe, like, a bit of a victim mindset. And she's just not that at all. So our very first date, I knew she was, like, fairly outgoing from chat.

Joel:

We met online, so chatting online and stuff. And she walked into this first date, and she got a red streak in her hair, and she's wearing a leather jacket. And I was like, fuck. I am in trouble here. Like, I I am way out of my depth.

Joel:

Like, I I was still, like, trying hard to be, like, well dressed and preppy and sort of, like like, make myself attracted to the opposite sex and failing miserably. And she walked in, like, fully hurt, just authentically hurt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

And I was

Mitch:

like, shit. Like, this

Joel:

is and then I got chatting to her and she was like, oh, yeah. I've, I worked for at the time, I worked for the Wildlife Trust. I do a lot of work in conservation. I travel a lot, so I go on holiday and, like, she'll, like, go and find, like, very rare creatures in random places. Where the hell do you get, like who like, she grew up in science rupture too, like, a very rural place.

Joel:

Like, who gets it in their head that they're gonna go and find, like, lions or elephants or, like, rare snakes or go deep into the jungle to find a butterfly that only 3 people have seen, like, that kind

Mitch:

of thing.

Joel:

I'm like, what makes you have that? And she was like, well, there's no other choice. What? She was like, why would you do the opposite? And and she's just naturally like that.

Joel:

So, like, we we live quite independent lives, but but really supplement each other well. And, like, she spent 9 days on an island off South Wales recently tracking puffins Wow. Because it's what she wants to do. Love that. And she feels passionate about it, and she log log logs all the data, and it and it's important for conservation.

Joel:

And and I just haven't met many people that are that fully committed. Mhmm. And it just, like, every time I think about it, it, like, blows my mind. I'm just, like and she got an operation coming up this year, which is gonna put her off her feet for 3 months. And so in her head, rather than worrying about that, she said, how much can I cram in until that happens?

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

So she's done puffins. In September, her and her friend are going on a cruise from Southampton down to Spain to whale watch for 2 days and then come straight back. She's just, like, in it. And it taught me loads, and I don't think she even realizes how much it's taught me, but, like, I have different passions. But because of her, I've been to, like, WrestleMania.

Joel:

Because I knew that if I sit down, it's on my bucket list. I really like to go. She'd be like, well, if you don't go, you're an idiot.

Mitch:

Yes.

Joel:

And, I've I've, like, been to conferences in America. We've we've together, we went and, went trekking to find grizzly bears. We've been whale watching together. We've been on safari together. We've driven around Italy together.

Joel:

Like, we've done all these, like, really cool things that I just would never have done if I'd not met her.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah.

Joel:

Yeah. So, like, my my key advice would be

Mitch:

Pause there. Sorry. I pressed pause on the video, but your your key advice, I've just just put the

Joel:

I guess, like, my two pieces of key advice.

Mitch:

Key advice, you're gonna cut off here, and you gotta come back

Joel:

for for the party. Okay. Let's see. And my my two pieces of key advice would be write a bucket list, number 1. And I'll be like, oh, that's wanky.

Joel:

But it's not. But write down everything you've ever thought you wanted to do from when you were a kid right up to now, because some of those things you'll have forgotten that are really important to you. So I'm I don't watch wrestling now. But when I was 6 years old, I had a VHS of Hulk Hogan's greatest matches, and WrestleMania was on it. And I was like, one day, I'm gonna go to WrestleMania.

Joel:

Yeah. And I've scratched that itch now, and it was ace. Like, it was Oh, it

Mitch:

was worth

Joel:

it. Yeah. Just brilliant. Like because it just brought back all that nostalgia. It brought back when I felt really, like, content and just, like, my best self watching like, just sat on the floor watching bloody Hulk Hogan.

Joel:

Yeah. So, yeah, write write write your bucket list and, like, really write it. Like, keep writing until you can't write anymore. Everything you could ever think of. I'd love to, like, see an elephant in the wild.

Joel:

I'd love to stand on stage in front of a 1000 people. I'd love to climb the Empire State Building. Like, whatever it is to you, like, I'd love to have a Michelin star meal. I'd love I whatever it might be. Because it'll give you a real sense of it'll give you a north star, a sense of purpose that, like, why am I doing this?

Joel:

And if it's like, why why do I go to work and work this horrible 9 to 5 every day? Or, like, why do I care for my poorly loved one every day, or what, like and it's, like, well, actually, it's because then I can do these things. Like, that is a game changer. So that's piece of advice number 1. Give yourself a reason for why you're doing it all, and, like, make sure some of it's selfish and make sure some of it is, like, these are things I really want to do.

Joel:

Yes. The other thing for me is write a list of all the people that you want to have an impact on. So, like, they could, like and it might be a group of people. So it's like I wanna help as many business owners as I can. Or it might be very specific people like, I want my mom to experience this or I want my brother to experience this.

Joel:

Right? What impact you wanna have on them and what the thing is. Mhmm. And that'll give you a because if you don't respond well to the list that's for you, you will respond well to the list that's for others. Mhmm.

Joel:

And then once you start to serve others, you won't mind serving yourself so much and or or vice versa.

Mitch:

Yeah.

Joel:

And that's been mega for me to be able to, like, give loved ones an experience that they otherwise would never have had. Mhmm. Like, I wake up in the morning buzzing that I'm working towards some of those things.

Mitch:

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's so important, and I focus on, like, the things that I'd love every morning just to get me going. Yeah. And sometimes sometimes I don't wanna sit down and do it, but I do it, and then I never feel I always feel better for doing it.

Mitch:

Yeah. And I I was saying, to get to what you love, you gotta go through what you fear. And say that people have these these desires, they're they've set out what they love to go and do, but then what's stopping them is the fear. How do you deal with that?

Joel:

So normally, the fear is like, what if this goes wrong? I think, like, it's always a a a variant on what if this goes wrong. So, like, what if I fail, or what if I hurt myself, or what if I lose loads of money? And I'm always like, what if it goes right? What if you make loads of money?

Joel:

What if you win? What if it's the best thing you've ever done? And, normally, there's a lot more reasons to do something than not to. And so, like, I think there's a book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. Yeah.

Joel:

Fear exists for a reason, but normally, it's based on, like, I think, like, that kinda, like, prehistoric caveman, like A nice dinosaur. Yeah. And if you say a saber toothed tiger's about to eat me, maybe I shouldn't go out of the cave. That ain't gonna happen now, like, in most scenarios. So what's the actual worst that can happen?

Joel:

Like, with you, I'm gonna step on stage and do a comedy set. What's the very worst that could happen? Nobody laughs.

Mitch:

My my partner leaves me and Yeah.

Joel:

Well, I can't see you. You can spiral, like, yeah, my partner but the the the reality is the very worst thing that could happen is nobody laughs. And then what happens? Well, I'll learn to be better. Yeah.

Joel:

Like, it's not, like, buying the business. What's the very worst thing that could happen or the business fails and I'll find something else to do?

Mitch:

So I mean, I mean, you'd make a very good employee if you're ever looking for a job anyway. I've got a marketing role that might might open up for you. Now I love that and great advice, people. And, yeah. I mean, more many people ask this at the start, but why should people listen to you?

Mitch:

It's a it's a very without I'll give you I'll give you a 60 second pass just to just to blow your own trumpet. But Okay. Why should people listen to you? And if they want your help, like because, I would listen to this man in terms of anything to do with marketing or business. So, where can I find you as well?

Joel:

Best place to find me. All of my socials is at gelstoneofficial, or visit cobreight.co.uk if you wanna talk business. Reason you should listen to me, I've helped hundreds of 6 figure businesses scale to 7 figures. I'd like to think along that journey. I've helped them realize why they're doing it, not just to make money.

Joel:

I speak all over the world on marketing business mindset, a little straying a little bit into just general mindset now given my journey. I don't I don't really care. Like, I really want people to do well. That's kind of that's my big reason for doing things is I want to help people transform their lives. And if you're into that, let's have a chat.

Joel:

Lovely.

Mitch:

Love it. I still got so many more questions, and I'm sure we'll have it again. But, yeah, Joel Stone, everyone. Thanks for coming. Yeah.

Joel:

Thanks for

Mitch:

having me.

Joel:

You too, bro. We went to do a Yeah. You're, like, 2

Mitch:

good that one, but, yeah, we'll go for that.