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Practical conversations to help you grow in your relationship with Jesus Christ.
TDP - 019 - Family Values
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[00:00:00]
Mika: [00:01:00] Welcome to the True Discipleship podcast, where we have practical conversations on what it means to be a passionate follower of Jesus. We are so thankful you chose to listen today and hope you gain a fresh perspective. With Jesus at the center, this is a community where everyone is given a seat at the table, a place to dive into scripture, talk, think, explore, and learn what following Christ is all about.
Now on to our hosts, Ayren and Morgan Nelson.
Well hello everybody and welcome back. It's been like, what, a week? A week and a half, maybe tops. Welcome back to the True Discipleship Podcast. We are your host. My name is Aaron and I'm Morgan and man, we're here. We are back. We're back. How does it feel? How long has it actually been? It is [00:02:00] actually been, uh, about two years since we released an episode.
I'm trying to think. We stopped publishing episodes in December of 2022. We didn't do anything in 23. Yeah, and then now we're here. Yeah, we're back. Wow. Yeah, it's been a really long time. Insane. But, uh, something that is really cool that I realize is that when this is releasing, uh, this is the three year anniversary of the first episode that we put out.
Yeah. Yeah. So the day this releases is May 24th. 21st. May 21st of 2024. Yeah. And our very first episode we released on May 21st, 2021. Yeah. That's pretty crazy. Which is pretty wild, right? Um, man, anyway, it's super cool. We're super excited to be back. I think you can probably hear us smiling through all the talking and that sort of thing.
Um, It feels like we should give a little bit of an update about where the heck have we been and [00:03:00] what happened and why we stopped and why we are bringing it back and all that sort of thing. We can keep this brief, um, but I think it's important. Let's start off with why we stopped. Recording. Because the worst thing to ever happen to us happened to us.
Probably the most discouraging thing that could happen, yeah, happened. I think we recorded the best episode we ever recorded. It's lost. Like, forever. I tried so hard to get that back. So let's, let's rewind back to December of 2021, 20. What did we say? Well, you were 22 December, 2022. We had started doing YouTube.
We were recording, new episodes. We had video accompanying it. We were starting to create some new extra side content as well. That was going up on our YouTube channel. Life was great. It was really good. We were having guests on the podcast. It was so much fun. Well, we were going to go on vacation. Or we were going to go somewhere for some reason.
We knew we weren't [00:04:00] going to be able to record for the next couple of weeks. And so we said, well, let's go ahead and get ahead of the game. We were going to Disney world that year. Yeah. That was the year I took my mom to Disney world. Oh, that's right. You were going with the guys. Yes. Not that anybody needed to know that, but we were about to have the best week of our lives.
Yeah. We were really looking forward to it. And so we said, you know what? We're not going to put the podcast on hold. The great irony of that. We're not going to put the podcast on hold. We're going to. Record some episodes ahead of time so that we can be proactive and have this content ready to go This was also the second attempt that we had second year in a row of trying to release advent episodes It would and the advent episodes have always been my idea.
Yeah of wanting to release It's an episode that coincides with the week of Advent that we're in and every year it fails. Something goes wrong. So my, my new plan is we're never going to have Advent episodes. I'm assuming, Advent is why we ended up stopping the first time too. I'm pretty sure. Cause we like took a break and then went back and then, yeah, [00:05:00] this break was much longer.
So you heard it here first. The True Discipleship podcast will never have Advent episodes. Which really is a shame because you alluded to this earlier. Like it genuinely was incredible. We had the best conversation. We both cried at one point or more during the episode. And now it was super emotional. I remember we had, like, we recorded it and we're like, Oh my gosh, that was incredible.
And then we've, something happened. Something was wrong with it. There was a portion that wasn't recorded or something. So maybe we maybe it wasn't the entire thing But we definitely re recorded a portion of it And then when we like we went back re recorded that and then the second re record is what also got lost So what's really frustrating is that the program we were using to record in like I was just in it a second ago I can I still see the transcript of the conversation We just don't have any audio from it.
And I spent so long trying to, like, I was in contact with the company that handles the platform that we record everything into. And I was like, is there [00:06:00] anything we can do? And for weeks we were emailing back and forth. They're trying to find a solution. And it just ended with, yeah, there's nothing we can do and I just got so frustrated and I think we were both just so discouraged that we're like, you know what, let's just step away from it for a while.
Cause every time I thought about it, I got angry and then we just never came back. Like that's just the reality of it. I think life just kind of started speeding up a little bit and next thing we know we were like, ah, you know, a month, two months, six months, a year. And for us, I mean, I don't know that it really.
dawned on me that people might miss our podcast. And I don't say this out of a place of like, we're so great and like anything like this is totally like, I am blown away by the fact that people were asking us, people still ask us all the time. When are you bringing it back? Don't you guys have a podcast?
And people assume we still have one. Yeah. Which is crazy. I was looking at some of the analytics the other day. We've hit like 17 countries. [00:07:00] Uh, people have, like, we haven't released episodes, like I said, almost two years, and people have still Like been downloading episodes, listening to them, like in bulk.
So I'm convinced there's like either like a couple of small groups or maybe even a church somewhere that uses these conversations for whatever reason. But man, we've just been so grateful. Um, run into people all the time. Yeah. Who shout out to Ashley. I don't know her last name, but Ashley has run into us at our favorite coffee shop a couple of times and was like, when are you guys going to bring it back?
So Ashley thinks it was actually the last time that you saw us that we were like, man, okay, man, we should get serious about this. But yeah. So that's been really cool. Yeah. Um, yeah. Do we want to touch on anything like In our lives that have happened in the past year and a half. Yeah. There's probably a couple of things that we should hit on.
So we talked about the admin episode fail. The other thing. So the last time that we did put out any content because the advent episode never came out, we talked about wanting to do this thing called operation, bless a parent, um, which, uh, we did end up doing, we ended up collecting around 3, 000 for it.
All of that money [00:08:00] ended up going out to help a single parent. Um, uh, single moms, um, just kind of in the area. And we heard those stories from people that were connected with and stuff like that. I'll probably give a more elaborate update at some point. We'll probably post it here as a, um, kind of like a bonus episode, or maybe it'll just be a short update that goes into our YouTube channel or something like that.
Um, but all that money did go out. I do know. Um, and I don't mean for this to be discouraging at all, but I do know that like some of the people who received that money, it was at help for a little while, but it wasn't, A super long sustainable, um, thing, but we also, we still want to be transparent and open with you guys and just kind of let you know what happened with that.
So this is two years delayed, but thank you to everybody who contributed towards that. You did, um, really help brighten up Christmas for, for a couple of folks out there. And so, uh, thank you for doing that. So be on the lookout for that. We will share something there. And then, um, this is kind of the, the jumping off point for what we're going to be talking about for the rest of the day, but we have some other really big news.
Yeah, we thought what better [00:09:00] time to start re recording our podcast than when we're gonna have so much free time. Yeah, that's it. Really, our lives are just getting easier. And so we said, yeah, let's hop back into it now. Um, we are having a baby. What? That is brand new information we know. Surprise. Surprise.
That would have been a really cool way to tell me. If you're like, hey, we should just start the podcast back up and yada yada. And then you're like, oh, by the way, we're having a baby. Yay. Yeah, we are expecting our first child in September, in September. So we've got to, I have to realize people can't see my face, so I should probably in September, bring that up.
Yes, I'm excited about, you are excited. Um, yeah. So, you know, release this first episode, May 21st and hopefully weekly episodes. And we're just getting in the habit of recording and releasing. And so that this becomes a natural rhythm in our life. Okay. Before, uh, this little bundle of joy gets here. So what [00:10:00] a lot of people just heard was we're going to get episodes until September.
No, listen to our goal, our, our goal again, we're not perfect and we still have lives outside of this, but our goal is to record extra things kind of as time goes on so that come September. You know, when our bundle of joy is here and we're not able to sit in the studio and record together, we'll still be able to have some stuff to put out for you guys and stuff like that.
And so, um, yeah, we're excited. I'm super excited, super excited. I feel like every episode that we ever recorded, I always was super excited about something, but this is the most excited that I've been about anything. Yeah. Yeah, super great. So that is a good segue into what we're going to be talking about in this episode.
Today, we are going to be talking about our family values. Can I backtrack for a second? Sure. Ignore what I just said. Because, um, I've been trying really hard to move my, mouth away from the microphone every time I say something, or when I'm not saying anything. [00:11:00] If you hear heavy breathing, um, from my end of the episode, uh, it's because I am expecting, I'm what, like four and a half months?
Right now? No, five months pregnant? What month are we in? May? May? Yeah, five months. I'm five months pregnant, so. 22 weeks right now? Yes. Is that right? There you go. Yeah. Um, so talking is, feels like I'm running a marathon. It's like someone's sitting on your chest, except they're in your chest. Yes. Not quite, but everything is squished and, everything is squished and it's hard to breathe and talking and breathing at the same time is tough.
You're doing a fantastic job. I'm super proud of you. Sorry if these next few, lots of episodes are really breathy. Yeah. Recently we went to Nashville. We kind of took a little bit of a trip and we had a friend of ours that was getting married out in Nashville. A shout out to Christian and his wife, Melissa.
I know that Christian listens to the podcast. Um, but we, uh, [00:12:00] went out there. And while we were there, we just had some downtime and we sat down and we started thinking through a couple of things. So while we were in Nashville, Tennessee, we thought we started thinking through, man, what would be some good ideas for the podcast when we come back?
And then when we came to Nashville, We left Nashville, Tennessee, Nashville, Tennessee. I couldn't remember which one came first, the city or the state. And then we went to Asheville, North Carolina, and we were at a coffee shop there. And I looked at you and I just, I said, Hey, can we sit and think through what are our family values?
What are the things that we want to be important to us going into this next season? Because life is going to be crazy. And I think a part of this conversation actually stemmed out of the idea of We want to bring the podcast back, but we were going to have to prioritize life. And so how do we prioritize and orient our lives in such a way so that the most important things are the most important things, um, for us as parents?
Um, I think it's kind of been like a sobering and kind of clarifying thing for [00:13:00] both of us to be like, man, there's a kid coming. Like we have to not get it all together. We're never going to be perfect, but. It's important for us to establish rhythms now that we hope to bestow on this gift that God is giving us in a few short months.
So,
That language is important to us. The idea of family values, Morgan, what, why do you think it's important to have family values as opposed to just, Hey, here are our rules. I think one thing about rules is that when you're thinking like creating rules, a lot of them stem from certain situations that you've encountered. Um, Like, I don't know, you see a sign hanging up somewhere that's like no skateboarding and it's like obviously somebody has skateboarded in this area before and now we have a problem with it.
So rather than creating rules that are a reaction of something that we don't want to happen or like we've seen this happen, so let's make a rule to, um, stop it. Um, I feel like values are, um, Proactive. [00:14:00] Um, and they are more overarching than a rule can be. They can, they can span a lot of things. Like when we, when we get into our specific values, which we will later in the episode share all of the values that we've come up with, it's like a lens that you can pass decisions through.
Um, rather than, sorry, big deep breath, rather than Almost trying to find loopholes of okay. I want to make this decision. Can I get away with it if I have these ten rules? To have to think through a value or pass this decision through these values Yeah, it's gonna make you think critically before you make that decision.
Yeah, and I think that's so huge. I think that any time that you give somebody, you are, are you okay? She's like panting when she steps away with you. [00:15:00] It's okay. You're human. It's fine. The longer I talk, the harder it is to recover. You're good. You're okay. You're doing a fantastic job. Um, yeah, I think you're absolutely right.
I think, uh, the idea of a value is that it promotes critical thinking. I think this is even the way that the Bible teaches us how to live. Right. Um, man. The Bible, this is going to sound funny coming out, but here, my entire thought, the Bible would be great if it was like one of those telemarketer logs, that's like turn to page four 34 for the answer on what to do.
If this thing arises, I feel like what makes the Bible so much better, what makes it living and active, what makes it a book that we have to. Be lifelong students of is that it doesn't just say like yes There are plenty of direct commands in scripture, but those direct commands are more of a value or a principle, right?
So Jesus may not say hey when you're filling the blank neighbor does this he just says love your neighbor [00:16:00] Now as a Christian as a Christ follower, I have to think of What would be the loving thing to do in this relationship with this neighbor? And so I think if that's the way that Jesus teaches, it feels like the way we should probably do it too.
So that feels like a good place to start. I think that's a good foundation. Um, and we're going to go ahead and look at some key passages of scripture that talk about this idea, specifically as it goes to parents, uh, establishing values for their children.
So if you're just joining us for the first time, maybe checking out this episode, typically what we like [00:17:00] to do is we like to establish whatever topic we're going to be talking about, but then we like to spend a lot of time really looking at scripture and what does the Bible say about what it is that we're looking at.
And so these are again, just kind of principles that we learned from scripture. These are the three passages that I think really fuel, What we hope, not just for our role as parents, but also just as a family, as a unit. And so we're going to look at a couple of different passages that I think are three key passages that touch on these topics.
Uh, the first one is Deuteronomy chapter six, and we're going to look at verses four through nine. Uh, it says, listen, Oh Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord alone, and you must love the Lord your God with all of your heart, all of your soul, all of your strength. Hey, I've heard that before. Some guy said that one.
Think his, when he said it, it was in red letters and you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I'm giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you were at home and when you were on the road and when you going to bed and when you were getting up, tie them to [00:18:00] your hands and wear them on your forehead.
As a reminder, write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates. This concept, I just think it's so beautiful. And it's actually something that I've seen play out in my own life. Um, so basically in this, God is giving Israel the law and giving them an account of his goodness. And now God is basically saying, Hey, listen, I don't want you to forget this, but also I need you to make sure you teach your children about this as well.
Because if not, eventually they're going to grow up and then they're going to know, there's actually kind of a, I forgot who, who said this, but there's kind of like this idea of like parents, if you don't make church a priority, like it'll be optional to your kids and then to your grandkids, it'll be like.
A nice to have and then to your great grandkids, it'll be like not even on the table. And so it's just kind of this trickle down effect of like, hey, listen Israel. I'm doing something in your life Uh, but your kids aren't going to be around to see that or they're going to be too young to remember that.
And so make sure that for generations, [00:19:00] your children understand the goodness and the reality of what it is that I've done for you. And I really liked the way that he says to do this.
So he, he uses, God tells him, uh, he says, repeat it again and again, talk to them about it when they're at home and when you're on the road. So I love that just like in these intimate moments at home But also when you have like this downtime with one another like you think of what traveling looked like for the Israelites They're just wandering and there's so much time in between stops and God is saying use those moments those Walking inside of life together moments dare.
We call it discipleship these moments of walking with Each other to use that empty space to fill that empty space with something that matters to fill that empty space with the truth about who I am. Uh, he says, do it when you're going to bed and when you're getting up, tie them to your hands and wear them on your foreheads as reminder, write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates.
So I've shared this story before. I don't think I've shared it on the [00:20:00] podcast before, but, um, A way I've seen this actually play out in my own life when I was growing up in my grandmother's house She had it was one of those like, you know those wire Shelving things that go over the toilet It was one of those and she had like these They were like these red and gold decorative things and it sounds weird when I say it out loud But it was like a decorative bottle of lotion Do people do that?
Yeah It's a thing but like lotion that you never use like there's lotion in the bottle, but the bottles decorative It's Very grandma behavior. Okay, this was your grandma's house But I remember it had and now I gotta look it up cuz I can't remember but I think it was it was either James 117 or James 112.
It's the verse that says Every good and perfect gift is from above coming down from the father of heavenly lights who does not change like the shifting shadows Uh, that's James 1 17 and I remember that that might [00:21:00] be next to John 3 16. Maybe the first Bible verse I ever memorized and it was because the way it was set on this wire thing, it was the perfect height to where every time that I went to the bathroom to go and pee, it was staring me in the face.
And so like, it seems like such a silly example. But I think that's not something that we prioritize a lot, like the visibility of scripture, the visibility of, um, of, uh, just godliness. I like to say it's like normalizing gospel conversation, like that's an art that I feel like we've lost. Yeah, um, earlier you mentioned we're, we're not gonna have this all figured out and I think we've always said from like the very first episode that we do not have this all figured out.
If anything, these conversations are us trying to Figure out how to be a true disciple and other people happen to be listening to it. Um, and I'm sure there are plenty of parents who are listening to this and going, they're so [00:22:00] sweet. They're so naive man. Once the, once that kid gets here, you're like, throw these values out the window.
The only value family values. Shut up. That's our family. And number one, family value is shut up. Stop crying. Uh, number one priority, keep them alive. Yeah. Um, so we're not going to have this all figured out. Um, but the thing that I want to practice now so that when our child is here. It is just a natural overflow is acknowledging the goodness of God in everything when you're home and when you're in the car and in the morning and at night, because , I remember, I actually recently listened back to one of our old episodes and I was like, we do this.
And I was like, no, I'm only going to take ownership for myself. I have a tendency of like, if something good happens, I'm like, man, like. I [00:23:00] did that. Like I, I worked hard, I accomplished this and now this outcome has happened. Um, but I don't want our child to hear that and say, okay, well, like I've got to go like work hard and like, God has nothing to do with this.
So in every single thing, just like, Giving glory to God. That's so good. Could you imagine if the Israelites would tell the story of them getting out of Egypt and not mention God? I think it's a natural tendency to say, look at my accomplishments, look at what I did, but when we don't look at God as a source of those things, then you just think, oh yeah, we have what we have because mom and dad worked hard.
Um, but that's not true. It's stealing glory for ourselves. It's putting at that moment, I mean, parents were putting ourselves in the position of God to say, I am your provider. I am the one that does everything for you. I'm the one that puts food on the table. Yeah. Those things are all true to an extent, uh, in the physical sense.
But the reality is, [00:24:00] is man, we would have none of this if it weren't for God. Yeah, and the ultimate thing I want to get to is I want our child to be fully dependent on God for everything. I want them in their, like, lowest lows to know that God is there Even like from their lowest lows to their highest highs, like knowing that God is there.
But when we're on those mountaintops and we're not giving credit to God and we're not saying like, man, look at the way God worked in this situation. And like, like how wonderful this blessing is. Then when we get to those low lows, why, like, why would our child turn to God in those situations when we haven't like praised God on the mountaintops?
Yeah, that's so good. Um, That's getting clipped for social Like earlier when you said like when parents approach church is optional like our child has no choice in the household that they're growing up [00:25:00] Lord willing our child has no choice like church is not gonna be optional. It's a part of our like Our weekly routine, it'll be every Sunday, but man, I don't want to say that when you approach church as optional, you approach God as optional, but it's a really slippery slope of like, yeah, again, like I'm not giving God credit in those mountaintop moments.
I'm not talking about God in the car and the first thing when we wake up and, or even like. Man, there was a story one time that you told me. Um, I think your mom shared with you, um, about your little brother. No, it was when we were visiting and, um, man, I'll tell this story so you don't have to cry. Um, when we go to visit your family, we always borrow your mom's car, but Uh, and her ask is that we go and pick up the kids from school and it's so fun because it's like reverse grandparents.
I guess. Yeah, we get to spoil them [00:26:00] and like take them to get like snowballs and like McDonald's and bring them home. Yeah, bring them all hyped up on sugar and give them back to their parents. Um, I'm sure my mom would love to return that favor. Oh, Oh yeah. Very, very soon. So we, we pick up your siblings from school and, , your little sister shared that her teacher was like out that day that she had like hurt her back or something.
And your brother was like, well, let's pray for her right now. And I look over and you, I'm emotional now. Like you said, literally, I feel my eyes welling up. Because at the time, I mean, they were like, What maybe seven and five ish somewhere around there like imagining the building Alexis was on the other side of the building So I don't even know she was in elementary.
They were both under 10. I know that for a fact Yeah, but it was just like the most pure like sweet response and like an utter dependence on God Like yeah, of course, what else will we do? [00:27:00] Prayer was a reflex. Yeah. Yeah Yeah. So, um, you know, we're stealing pages out of your mom's playbook. Yeah. Um, whatever she did for that to be your brother's like immediate response in that situation.
Uh, the second passage that we want to look at is one that I think is pretty common whenever you talk about how our families, I mean, these are family values.
So in Ephesians chapter five and six, Paul is writing out basically what he considers to be like family values. These are the things that this is probably going to end up being another episode at some point. And I think actually we need to make note of this so they don't forget it. But I remember one time me and you were having a conversation about like, what is our due North?
Like when everything else falls apart, what is the thing that we hang our hat on? And I'd love to kind of explore that idea a little bit more in a future episode. But for this, this is Paul saying, listen, this is your due North. Like, these are the principles by which you as a family should operate. And so, um, you know, depending on what [00:28:00] translation you're looking at, I have the NLT open here in front of me.
It, it calls this starting at verse 21, uh, spirit guided relationships, which I love, like, what does it look like for a relationship to be filled with the spirit? And he starts off talking, uh, wives and husbands. And so, um, uh, starting in verse 21, further submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, for wives.
This means submit to your husbands as to the Lord, we may have to do an episode on what. What that means and what that actually looks like. Um, but here it is. Submit to your husbands as to the Lord for a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the savior of his body. Um, Jesus is the savior of his body, which is the church as the church submits to Christ.
So you wives should submit to your husbands and everything. And I know that's a verse that gets a lot of bad rap of like, what's the role of the woman in the household, all this sort of stuff. But then he doubles down and he talks to husbands in a way that I actually think is, uh, Uh, more demanding than even the requirement for the wife to submit [00:29:00] to the husband.
He says, husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ love the church. And how did he do that? He gave up his life for her to make her Holy and clean washed by the cleansing of God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle blemish. Instead, she will be Holy without fault.
In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body, but feeds and cares for it.
Just as Christ cares for the church and we are members of his body. And so we can just kind of pause right there, but, you know, we're talking about the idea of family values in the context of like, we have a kid on the way, but the reality is, is like the, there's so much that like, these are rules, not rules, values that if we took our kid out of the equation, like this is still indicative of how we want to live.
And I think that's ground zero. Um, like I think there's. this idea of like, Oh, like [00:30:00] the, right now in the planning phase, there are so many aspects of like what falls into the category of, we need to prepare for this ahead of time. And what falls into the category of we'll deal with that in September when the baby is here.
And this is something that can't wait until the baby is here. Like godliness in relationship has to be a foundation of our relationship, mine and yours, before we introduce. A third party into this hot mess. Yeah. I, at the beginning of the episode, I felt this like. Um, not pit in my stomach, but just this kind of like weight of, should we address, like, just because we have a child arriving in September doesn't make us a family.
Yes. We were a family before this child arrived. That's so good. Yeah. Or, before this child arrives. Um, because I want to speak to people, like, fam, like families who are a husband and a wife. Um, you are a family. Uh, we are not saying that you are not a family because you don't have children. Yes. Um, [00:31:00] And exactly what you just said.
I mean. these family values. If, like, honestly speaking, we should have had this conversation like before when we were engaged, dating, engaged and had family values when we got married. Um, so that we could make our decisions pass through. Now we're trying to course correct. And we'll talk about that a little bit when we talk about some of these, but yeah, there are certain things that we're trying to institute now and now it feels like we're almost racing against this clock.
As opposed to had we already been doing these things and live in the mountain, they had been ingrained in who we are. And then it goes on, uh, Ephesians chapter six, children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord. I love that translation. Other translations say, do this, uh, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right, but I love this one.
Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord for this is the right thing to do. Honor your father and your mother. This is the first commandment with a promise. If you honor your father and mother, [00:32:00] things will go well for you and you'll have a long life. Uh, on the earth, we'll probably need to do an episode where we talk about that a little bit too, because that's a fun context.
Uh, fathers do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them, rather bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. So again, you're not given, there's some specifics in this, but there's a filter that you have to go through of, okay, what does this look like for my family?
So ultimately what Paul is giving us here is principles that help us to define what the specific actions are. And then the last example that we want to hit on, um, Really briefly is second timothy three. I just love this one so much. Well, some of my favorite moments when paul is writing Um to the church, um, or even these letters to individuals is just when he gets really personal Like there's just these moments where he'll call out like specific people of like, man, I just love this guy.
He's crushing it. Or, Hey, that person was wilding out. You need to cast them over to the Satan. He gets really personal in some of these areas. I know that's kind of like an apples and oranges thing, but, um, but one of my favorite things is the way that he talks to [00:33:00] Timothy in second Timothy chapter three, um, we're just going to take a look at verse 14 and in this we see Paul Timothy being raised in a Christ centered spirit filled home, uh, second Timothy three 14 says, but you must remain faithful to the things you have been taught.
You know, they are true for, you know, that you can trust those who taught you. You have been taught the Holy scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. And then he affirms it with a verse that a lot of us are really familiar with.
Actually, I think we talked about this in, um, Uh, we talked about this in a previous episode. We did the healthy church series. Uh, all scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.
God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. Basically what Paul is doing here is he's doubling down and reaffirming on the great things that, [00:34:00] um, Timothy's, uh, parents had done. And I think there's one part in here, I don't know exactly where it's at, but there's a spot where he like mentions Timothy's grandmother by name of like that you were the, remember what your grandmama told you it's that, you know, which I just think is so important, man.
I know with us, with this kid on the way, like my prayer is that they would be surrounded by Adults like Paul that, yeah, we're going to raise them up in a home where we try to keep Christ at the center. But man, when they leave out of these doors, whether that be when they're going off to college or when they're going to elementary school or going to youth group on a weekend or going to some camp or retreat or whatever, wherever they end up going, I hope they are surrounded by other adults like a Paul who says, Hey, you remember what Aaron and Morgan taught you?
Like you can trust your parents. Because they trust in God like that sort of community that sort of environment of people surrounding them to reaffirm Yeah, not only did you hear [00:35:00] this from your parents, but your parents are trustworthy That's so huge and I desire that deeply. Yeah, and I love that you mentioned Timothy's grandmother.
I can't remember who we were talking to and I'll blame a ton of things on pregnancy brain But I couldn't remember things before I was pregnant. Um, but we were talking to somebody and they were talking about their grandparents and like the faithfulness of their grandparents and how they raised their parents and how their parents raised them.
And there was just like some situation where they were like, if it weren't for the faithfulness of my grandparents and my parents, then like I wouldn't be in this moment right now. And. I was thinking about that, thinking about us recording this episode today, and I was thinking about the fact that like, What we're doing right now isn't just important for the sake of this one child that's going to be born in September.
It's important because they're, I mean, [00:36:00] Lord willing, going to grow up and have a family of their own and there's going to be another generation. Yes. And that generation can look back and say, like, the faithfulness. And I think about, like, the people of Israel and, like, looking back at the faithfulness of, you know, Generations before them, not because we need them to say, Oh, great, great grandma and Morgan and great great grandpa, Aaron, like did such a great job, um, instilling these values in us.
Um, but for the same reason that like future generations of Israel had to look back and say, like, look at the faithfulness to remind themselves of the goodness of God, like, that's what we want, not just for this child, but for the generations that are. gonna come from us. Let's be honest, most of us don't remember our great great grandparents names, but we feel the result of their parenting years later.
And so, yeah, that's what we hope to be. I actually, I found that quote earlier that I was alluding to, uh, but it says, parents who [00:37:00] treat the church as optional should not be surprised when their children end up treating Jesus as unnecessary. That was kind of the idea there. And it's just kind of, yeah, it's just this trickle down effect because like this doesn't get into what that next generation looks like.
But if your children. Treat jesus is unnecessary then what are their children gonna think and then what are their children gonna think? Um, and we know it's not all on us Like that is a pressure that I think we both probably need to alleviate ourselves of like at the end of the day It's god who saves but there is a clear explicit command from god To do everything that we can to set up those guardrails for our children I did go back and I just found this really quick, but this is from uh, second timothy one It's in the introduction, where Paul is writing to Timothy, uh, first Timothy three.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Second Timothy, chapter one, verse three says, Timothy, I thank God for you. The God I serve with a clear conscious, just as my ancestors did. So even Paul is calling back to his ancestors, uh, night and day. I constantly remember you in my prayers. I long to see you again for, I remember you.
Your tears as we [00:38:00] parted and I will be filled with joy. And we're together again. I just love that language from Paul. He's so personable. And then verse five, I remember your genuine faith for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother, Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.
Um, this is why I remind you to fan into flames. The spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you for God has not given us a spirit of fear and of timidity, but of power, love, and self discipline. So. Paul, I just love that personable touch and so much of what discipleship is is that relational piece?
And I just think it's so cool that that we get a glimpse of their relationship here in the Bible
[00:39:00] so I love how timely conversations happen and like the us recording and you picking this passage and I was just, um, having a conversation this past weekend, and we were talking about intentionality in motherhood and in family, and, um, the person who was like leading us through this time was reading through Deuteronomy 27, um, and, um, I believe Deuteronomy 27.
I'm really bad at verse [00:40:00] recalling. It's in the Old Testament. It's in Deuteronomy. There you go. Can't confirm that. Feel place to start. Um, and she was talking about like when they had to cross the, uh, Jordan River and, um, to like bring the rocks to the other side or like place the rocks as like a symbol.
That oh, yeah, their descendants could come back and look at it was Deuteronomy 27. Look at you Well, I googled Deuteronomy rocks crossing And Deuteronomy 27 chapter verse 2 came up But one of the things she pointed out was whenever Moses was leading his people across the Red Sea it was Okay, God's going to part the water, the ground's going to be dry, and we're going to cross.
Look at the faithfulness of God. Well, then the descendants who had heard that story get to the Jordan and they're like, why hasn't God parted the water? And she was like, they had to step into the water [00:41:00] before God made a way for them to cross. And just hearing that, I was like, it was like, mind blowing, mind blowing because it's like, okay, every situation that we face is not going to be exactly the same.
And I think this is going to point back to like, this is why we're going to have values and not rules, because Not every single time we face a situation is God going to part the water and dry the ground and we're going to walk through. Yeah. The next situation could be like God saying, no, you've got to step into it first.
Oh my gosh, that's so good. I don't want to cut you off. Did you have anything else to? No. It's, you're, like, it's almost like our job is to help our kids not, like, you're not building faith from ground zero. Like you have
even in our own individual lives like the times when we freak out is when we forget about what God's done in The past so it's almost like I have no faith because I can't remember the goodness [00:42:00] of God And so now I'm trying to so what we as parents actually have the opportunity to do is to create This a backlog of God's faithfulness for our kids to come into the world and receive I have a friend of mine right now who he has two kids who are really young and he bought a Bible for each of them and he's reading through them cover to cover and he's making notes through it, , with them in mind.
So certain highlights, certain, you know, I want you to remember that, like, I think it's super cool and we need to get on it. That sounds like a great idea. Um, and I love that because, like, I just bought a new Bible recently, and one of the hardest parts of it was like, Yeah, but my old Bible had all of my notes and all my highlights and all this sort of thing.
And so now I have all these blank pages, and I'm just overwhelmed by what color do I use to underline which thing, right? But man, to have, like, your parents previous experience with the Bible, As like, not as an additive, right? We're not adding to [00:43:00] scripture, but this extra perspective of just someone who is like, who, man, there's so many lessons we can learn from people who have just been walking this faith walk so much longer than us.
And as for that to be a gift that parents pass on to their kids. So cool. So cool. I think we just keep going. I think this is a good way just to kind of move us into what we're going to talk about, um, with our family values. So. We sat down and we started a list that I think this is probably a rough draft.
I'm sure it's not finished. I'm sure it will be in flux as time goes on. And we realized, Hey, that was really dumb. Or maybe as people listen to this and they think that's a stupid idea. Let's we like, if you have done this or if it's something that maybe this sparked something in you, we'd love for you to share with us, , your input on this, , your perspective as parents, as husbands, as wives, things that maybe you've instituted in your marriage that are super good.
I do think there are times for rules in marriage. But again, when you have two adults, it's maybe a little bit of a different perspective. But, , yeah, we, we decided to take the [00:44:00] value approach. So we're just going to walk through the first eight values that we've made.
Um, I think we have to get to 10. That feels like a nice round number. , but these are the first eight that we came up with that, um,, hopefully it will be helpful to people listening. So. Do you want to kick us off? Do you want me to read them? How do you, how do we want to do this? I can read the first one.
Take it away. Uh, so number one, we orient our lives around Jesus. That feels like a no brainer. That feels like it should be, yeah. Um, I don't remember where I read this, or where I heard this, but I love the idea of we orient. Our lives around Jesus. I feel like there's kind of this word picture there If I had to guess it was probably John Mark.
There's a decent chance. Yeah, if not, he said something that sparked it in me, but um No, actually this came from way long and it had nothing to do with Jesus. It actually had to do, it actually had to do with, uh, somebody was talking about like the design of like your family room or your living room. And they said like [00:45:00] so many living rooms that you walk into, all of the chairs are facing the TV.
So people default to watching the TV. But if you rearrange your furniture in a way to where everybody's facing each other, it encourages conversation. And so that kind of, That's the picture that comes to mind for me when I think of like Orienting your life around something like if you orient the living room around the TV That's gonna be the focus for us.
We orient our lives around Jesus And so what does it look like to have Jesus at the center of everything? That is a very broad idea and I like that. Yeah, I was gonna say there are so many like we could have 87 rules that model this value of how we orient our lives around Jesus. We read our Bible daily.
We pray three times a day. We go to church every Sunday. I mean, there's so many. So many things that we could do that fall under this umbrella value of [00:46:00] orienting our lives around Jesus. Yeah. I, I just kind of realized this, but this is essentially what Jesus does when the, the man comes to him and he's like, which of all the laws is the most important?
He's like, well, love God, love people. Jesus was giving them a value as opposed to giving them a rule. Yeah, that's essentially, yeah, what he was doing. And so that's what I kind of hope that this first thing does that it creates the framework for everything else. And it's also a way like I almost think of our values as a flow chart.
Like they get I think a little more specific as we go through them, um, but if, like I was saying earlier, if we have this decision to make, uh, I don't know, coming up with an example, going on vacation to a certain place, We can take that decision and put it through all eight values and start at number one.
We orient our lives around Jesus. So does this [00:47:00] vacation allow us to keep our life oriented around Jesus? Or is it gonna take us off course? Is it a distraction? Yeah. No, that's really good. What's going to be the challenge, I think, in all of these is the justification part of like, not in a spiritual sense, in the human sense, we're going to try to justify, Oh, well, I can, you know, whatever I can.
We also have a track record that we need to look at. And yeah, yeah, exactly. I remember when we went, we got our passport so we can go on our mission trip. And the mission trip ended up falling through and we're like, well, we have our passport. So let's go on a cruise. And we were like, we can minister to people on the cruise.
We didn't, but you know, that's the justification piece and how you kind of spin stuff around. Um, number two, we say we have fun together. I think that's a good value to have. I think it's an important one. Yeah. I mean, what do you, you said one time to when you were leading student ministry, if following Jesus isn't fun, then you're doing it wrong.
Yeah. [00:48:00] Um, so we're going to have fun following Jesus and we're going to have fun with each other. This feels like the iRobot thing. Have you ever seen iRobot with Will Smith? They're like code in like laws, the laws of robotics into all the robots. And they're like, you can do rule number three as long as it doesn't interfere with the first two rules.
I feel like all of these build back to each other of like, yeah, we can have fun together, but we still orient our lives around Jesus. Like those two things work hand in hand. So, uh, some of the kind of like, I guess, bullet point ideas that we had underneath that where we want to get away. We want to prioritize like actually stepping away to retreat, um, with one another, uh, to be intentional about having fun together.
Um, like try to figure out ways to, to work that into our natural rhythms. Uh, and we're willing to try new things together. And this is one that you've already started living out. I don't even know if you realized that you started living it out or not, but the other night. I've recently gotten back into wrestling.
I watched it a ton as a kid and like with the rock and all these guys coming back, like I've gotten really bad and it's just really good to get, [00:49:00] like, if you're not, this is not sponsored, but if you haven't been watching wrestling lately, what are you doing with your life? But we're, uh, I was watching it like Friday and normally like, It starts and then you're like, all right, cool.
I'm gonna go do my thing. You do your thing. And the other day I was like, Hey, do you want to watch wrestling with me? And you're like, sure, I'll try it. And I know you were probably miserable the whole time, but you were open to trying new things with each other. So that was kind of the idea behind that.
It's like, yeah, we have fun. It's not just our own idea of fun, but we're willing to try something that the other person considers important in a, who knows, might find it fun. Now you're like the biggest wrestling fan ever. I knew everybody's name. You knew everybody's names. You're like, you knew when to sing along with the songs.
It was awesome. It was really good. One of the guys does have a really good song and you can always, yeah. You know, rope me in with like a good, a good, good, good karaoke. Yeah. That's what wrestling needs. More karaoke. You heard it here first. Um, um, Number three, it says that we value [00:50:00] rest, but we are not lazy.
This is a tough one. Yeah, I think that's it. This is hard. This is hard. Um, so the first thing that we were going to talk about with this is establishing a Sabbath, which I feel like we've been talking about trying to establish a Sabbath for the two of us since we got married. I'm sure if we go back and listen to old episodes, we'll talk, we've talked about it.
And Hi, it's 2024 and we still have not established a consistent Sabbath because you work in the church world Sundays are not our Sabbath because that is truthfully work for you. And, and that's not a bad thing. , what you do is important. So we started talking about, okay, Friday to Saturday is our Sabbath.
Um, and what does that look like? And I think this time when we had the conversation, I don't [00:51:00] even know how many times we've talked about establishing a Sabbath, I finally said, I need to know. I need a rule of do's and not a, or a list of do's and not a list of don'ts around a Sabbath because we talked about, well, we don't want to use our phones or we want to limit our screen time.
Like with the TV. Um, we want to do things together, but don't do the dishes. Don't go grocery shopping. Don't do it. Yeah. And I thought back to like something that I saw when we were like training our dog and it's like, stop trying to like get your dog to stop doing things and train them to do the things you do want them to do.
And I was like, You know, I'm not much more complex than training a dog. Um, so what is it that we are trying to do in this Sabbath? So actually, like going back to we have fun together. Wrestling falls on Friday nights in the beginning of our Sabbath is Friday nights. And, um, In order to achieve, not to achieve, but to like get at the heart of Sabbath of us [00:52:00] spending intentional time together, it was like, well, normally I would go sit in our room and watch Gilmore girls, but I wanted us to do something together.
So now the start of our Sabbath is we eat dinner and then we watch Friday night. Let's go down. Yes. So proud of you. Uh, I have to think about the fact that like it's a Monday night raw, so it can't be Friday night. It's Friday night Smackdown. So proud of you. Yeah. Um, but that also does include a couple of other ideas as well.
Uh, so we also included, uh, to value rest, but not to be lazy. It means that we say no to people pleasing and having to prove our worth. So I think so much of how we get overwhelmed is in the, like, this person asked me to do this thing. I have to do it, or I have to carry some load somewhere that I was never designed to carry.
Like so much about Sabbath is trusting God with our burdens. And so. The understanding the concept of rest isn't just we stop doing things [00:53:00] It's about saying yes to the right things and no to the things that we need to say no to We also said that this means that we're not easily stressed out, which is a tough one this is really something that will require dependence on the Lord in order for us to grow in and Another thing is we say yes to help So not feeling like we have to be Superman or Superwoman, but we actually do invite, we invite others in to help us to carry the load.
Uh, but I think this is so important in the family relationship of we are willing to ask one another for help. I think that's going to be huge. Number four, we don't celebrate sin. This one is Probably, this is where the ick comes in. We haven't had the ick in a couple of years, but this is where the ick comes back in.
I mean, to be fair, the ick has existed for two years. We just haven't talked about it. Yeah, that's right. I, I put this one on the list. What do you think this means? Like, when we say we don't celebrate sin, [00:54:00] what comes to mind for you? When I said it, I gave a very specific example. So I don't know if that's what's in your mind or not.
No, I I'm thinking of other things. I mean, like celebrate, we like our brain goes to parties and balloons and, you know, big celebrations, confetti. Um, but. I think you can celebrate things on a smaller scale, um, in, like, enjoyment. I'm, I'm, my mind is going straight to, like, music, TV, entertainment. Like, to count down to a new season of a show that is You probably shouldn't, yeah.
You probably shouldn't be watching this. That we've, uh, appropriated as guilty pleasures, when really they're It's glorifying sin. Yeah, yeah. So really like checking, like I'll be checking myself of things that I'm watching or taking in. And, um, we actually, we'll have so many callbacks to so many episodes.
You guys should check this one out. [00:55:00] Um, we talked about like engaging with media. I don't remember the episode, but we got into this idea of like passively consuming entertainment and how that is. Is, um, influencing us in a negative way. So celebrate doesn't have to be confetti and streamers and balloons.
It can be support. Yeah. Support or excitement of anything sinful. You actually, um, got me a mother's day present. Um, And, um, I love it. I think it's really funny. Um, and it says sometimes good moms say bad words. And I was like drinking water out of it because I mean, as soon as you got it, I like washed it, filled it with water and haven't let go of it since.
And, um, you looked at it and you go, Is that celebrating sin? And I had to ask myself, like, do I need to go ahead and get rid of this cup that you just got me for Mother's Day? I'm sure we can still [00:56:00] return it, even though the iced coffee stains are in there by now. Yeah, I don't know, it's interesting, man.
I've, you know, since we've talked about this, it's just, it's really helped put things in a different light. Like, at the time of recording this, we're in the middle of, and I know you haven't been following it, but we're in the middle of like, The Drake, Kendrick Lamar beef that like has been breaking the charts for like listens as soon as one of them put something out like it's in literally like the songs are like, you're a bad dad and there's kids you don't care for it.
Like, it's like just tearing each other down, like saying, and I'm like, yo, if these two people were like, just saying this in an interview face to face, like we would be appalled by it, but because they're doing it in an artistic way, people are like, yo, this is the greatest rap beef of all time. Yada yada.
It's like. This is, this is kind of personal, I'm sorry, but like, for me, it's hard to enjoy it because I'm like, yo, these are just two, like, black men in society who are putting one another down for [00:57:00] entertainment. And I'm like, yo, we don't need any more of that. And so in the same way, like us, like consuming it and sharing it and like watching these things, drive up the charts and like, Oh, did you hear what he said about him?
And yeah, like that feels like a celebration. I'm like, no, like these are two men who need Jesus and instead we're celebrating where they're at in life. Um, another thing about this is we were listening to an episode of with the Perry's and they had a conversation about, do we.
Should we, if we were invited to a same sex marriage or wedding, would we go? And that's kind of where like some of the seed of this idea came from. Like, you know, that shouldn't be. Cause where they came to is like, it's a gray area. You should listen to the podcast. Don't just hear what I said and be like gray or no, it shouldn't be a gray.
Like they're, they explain the nuance. Uh, so much so that like Jackie Hill Perry said that she would, she would not go. And her husband said he would go under particular circumstances. , But like even that of like I would or I wouldn't like it creates such a gray area [00:58:00] that it feels better to have a value in place that says no, I don't celebrate sin.
And so figuring out is my participant, excuse me, is my participation a celebration of this sin or is there an assignment maybe in this that God's calling me to or whatever like that. So highly recommend that that podcast episode. Go ahead and check that out. Um, but that kind of led us to, to this place.
Yeah. I mean, there have been situations where like, I have, , talked about something and you have checked me. I like gossiping and like people talking about other, it's not Kendrick and Drake level of tearing each other down. But there have been moments where I'm like, did you see this? And like, this person is like, like definitely talking about this person in that Facebook post that they just did.
Now I'm in the comment section and I'm sending you screenshots and you're like, Morgan. One, this is none of your business. Get out. Um, and, and you, like, will check me in those moments of like, you are [00:59:00] celebrating sin. These are people tearing each other down. These are people living in sin. Out sin or like doing something sinful and you're like, stop.
So, and a lot of it was me trying to make myself feel better. I'm like, look at this fool over here, like doing something dumb. And it made me feel better about myself to like put that person down and hello, more sin. Not only am I celebrating that sin. Now I've got sin and there's just sin everywhere. Yeah.
Slippery slope. Slippery slope. Okay, we got to start flying through some of these. But this is a great conversation. We've been going for two years, people. I know. Let us talk. Um, number five. We approach the world. This should probably move up to number two, I think. Yeah, potentially, like you said, this is totally a working thing and we'll, we'll reorder.
We haven't carved it into stone yet. Yeah, but this one is we approach the world with grace, love and critical thinking. [01:00:00] And I think this one might need to get reworked a little bit as well. Just for maybe succinctness, but really this idea came from the desire. To raise a child who thinks biblically.
Uh, this idea actually came from the book Mama Bear Apologetics. Not sponsored. That I was reading the weekend that we started having this conversation. And I just loved the way that they worded that. Is that wording directly from that? I don't remember. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Grace, love, and critical thinking is directly from, um, mama bear apologetics, which I'm only, I think, two chapters into.
Yeah. So if you read it and you read something crazy in it, we didn't get there yet. Yeah. I'm not there yet. I will recommend it based on the two chapters that I've read. Yeah. But, um, yeah, it's, it's just this idea of like, we don't villainize the world. [01:01:00] We recognize that they're broken and at some point like this is something that we're gonna have to even approach like We have to recognize like our kids not gonna come out of the womb Christian They have to develop in a stab Like these are the guardrails that we want to put in place so that they grow up with a biblical and a godly worldview But like, we don't villainize people who haven't come to Jesus yet.
We don't villainize people who haven't, not who haven't experienced, we've all experienced some level of grace, but who, um, haven't been captivated by that grace yet to where they're living out the type of life that God wants them to live. So, um, we want to approach everyone with grace, with love, because we recognize that they are made in the image of God and they have intrinsic value.
They are people, um, who deserve to be. Uh, shown and showered with grace and love. Well, maybe don't deserve it, but we didn't deserve it either. And then on top of that, yeah, I'm gonna I'm a rock with you in a sense of like, I'm gonna show you grace. I'm going to show you love. But I'm also going to [01:02:00] apply critical thinking on what does that look like?
Like, love doesn't mean that I affirm everything that you believe. Love doesn't mean that. Like showing you grace doesn't just mean I let you sin and I'm okay with it. There's a critical thinking that comes in that of like, no, what is true biblical grace look like? What is true biblical love look like?
And then that's the way that our relationship is going to move forward. Yeah. There was a part that they were talking about, like the critical thinking component is to. It's important. So we're gonna teach our child, , the truth of the gospel. Um, we're gonna teach them about God. , and we're gonna pray and hope for people like Paul in their lives to, , affirm and tell them, you know, your parents are doing a good job.
They're not just telling you a bunch of like random stuff. , But this book talked about, like, blind faith, not just telling your kid, like, believe this because I told you to believe it. , that critical thinking component is so important that we teach them how [01:03:00] to read scripture, understand biblical truth, and be able to encounter the world.
Like, there's a time for them, there's a time for them to be, you know, In a bubble, I'm going to keep them in a bubble for as long as I can, um, for that first little bit and hope that they don't get sick or, , you know, just keep them safe, protecting them. Yeah. , but there will come a time where they're going to have to encounter the worst.
Um, they're going to hear ideas that differ from what mom and dad have said inside that bubble for so long. And I don't want to give them blind faith. I don't want us to say believe this because mom and dad said believe it and we drug you to church every Sunday. I want them to know why they believe what they believe.
So when they encounter something that's different from what they've learned their whole life, they're not shattered. Um, there's a really great example in this book. And now [01:04:00] our podcast is just turning into me regurgitating mama bear apologetics to you guys. Um, where she talks about like the importance of a foundation in a house, but nobody ever appreciates.
It's the beauty of a foundation. You appreciate the decor inside of a house until your foundation cracks and you realize how important it was. So yeah, just man, that critical thinking component is so important for them to have the foundation. And that one kind of gave life to what our number, our number six value is.
It's it's me. Look at you. Look at that. Segway doing a transition. It's okay to be wrong, but we seek truth. And that was one where I think we, we added that second part because at first we were just like, it's okay to be wrong. We're like, yeah, but you can't stay there. Right. Like to just be wrong. Like we, we have seen what happens when someone's like, well, there's just, I believe that.
And that's the way I've always believed it. And that's the way it's always going to be like, no, that's not like [01:05:00] we have the humility to say that we're not going to be right about everything. But we also have this thirst for learning and a desire to see things God's way that says, yeah, but we're going to seek out the truth.
And this is a value that. I think it's really important for us to start practicing now so that it's not jarring when four or five year old looks at us and says, But why, or that's not right and we have to admit to our five year old or however old they are that we then have to admit that we were wrong.
Um, I think that's something, it's tough, you know, that parent child dynamic. Am I ever supposed to admit as a parent that I'm wrong or am I just supposed to like keep this facade of, oh, I'm wrong. Oh yeah, I definitely messed up, but I'm not gonna tell my kid that I messed up. Yeah, you definitely gotta, yeah.
Cause the way you model that is gonna dictate whether or [01:06:00] not they feel like they ever have the right to be wrong or not. Right, and then they say, no, I can never be wrong, or I'm gonna argue with you even though I am wrong. And yeah, so this is definitely one that I want us to be in the habit of just being comfortable, not like, I don't know how I want to say that, like being okay with that feeling of coming to the other person and saying, Hey, I was wrong about that.
And also knowing that the other person is going to meet you with grace. Yeah. When I was just about grace field was the word that kept coming to mind. Yeah. Yeah. Grace field relationships. And then as we get ready to hit the bottom of the list here, we have number seven, which is we live what we believe.
And this is an idea where we don't just talk about Jesus, but we actually live it out. We actually, like, as a family do the things that Jesus has designed us to do [01:07:00] and that he called us to do. Yeah, I think this goes back to like when we were reading Deuteronomy 6 and it's like, you know, talk about it in the morning and in the car and like tie it to your hands and I think there's a part of that that's like talk about it, but also do it.
Yeah, and that comes up in the second Timothy passage a little bit of like, yeah, I and my fear that I was talking about there is I think I'm good at talking about it but not necessarily living it out. And I mean, living by example is like the number one way that. Children are going to learn, um, so you can talk, talk, talk, and, but they're going to see, and they're going to, Yeah, we had a conversation in our small group last night.
We were talking, the topic was, uh, unconditional love. And the guy who was leading it was like, when is the time that you've experienced unconditional love? Like, what are you, how did you learn what love is? And I said, I grew up in a house where like we told each other, I love you all the time. Like it was just a reflex [01:08:00] almost.
But then there came an age where I realized like, Oh wait, my single parent mom. Like worked really hard to make sure that I had a better life than she did And so after a while like the idea of love like yes, she said it all the time But when I actually when my eyes were open to the way that she lived her life for my regard That's when I was like, oh, she didn't just say it She actually meant it and now that's the same mindset that i'm carrying into Parenthood as well.
So yeah that that living by example thing is huge, bro And kids are way better than we are at like cutting through the BS of like yeah, you said this But why are you doing that? You know? Yeah, I think about like going back to the story of your brother who like Responded in we're gonna pray right now and then let us in a prayer.
It's not because your mom Probably said every day, like pray without ceasing, pray without ceasing. It's because like your mom probably had a situation where she was like, I don't know what to do. Or like, this is overwhelming. Or this is just like, the only thing I know to [01:09:00] do is pray and your brother and sister saw that and probably not on one, just one occasion.
Um, Your mom was fully reliant on God and knew there's no other response I have in whatever situation other than to pray and then you know You fast forward to picking up your brother from school and he's like, yeah, we're gonna pray for my sister's teacher who hurt her back Yeah, following Jesus. I think for all of us kids of all ages is it's caught more than it's taught It's just picked up as we go along and what we see Actually, people live it out in people's lives.
Uh, and the number eight, this is going to feel like a big left turn and it's like a weird one for us to leave off on, but we take care of our bodies. That is a value that we want to have. And again, that kind of bleeds over into all different aspects.
So it is, uh, it comprises of, um, I mean, it just goes back to the point about Sabbath. It goes back to, um, not back to, cause we haven't talked about this yet, but like the idea of like working out and trying to stay healthy, it goes to like eating [01:10:00] healthy and not just like gorging on things it goes, I mean, honestly, As they get older, it's going to go more, it's going to grow beyond like just eating your vegetables.
Like it's going to go to the things about sexual integrity. It's going to go into things about, um, I don't know, drugs. Like this, I think this one is probably maybe the clearest example of like a value over a rule. Like a rule would be, don't do drugs. The value is we take care of our bodies because we understand that our bodies are a temple for the Holy spirit.
Like it actually is something that matters to God deeply. And so this isn't just about saying, Hey, don't do that. It's actually about, no, this is, this is, This is the value is pointing us to what we value what is most important to us I was just talking to you last night about how I haven't been like super emotional during this pregnancy and it's It's been very shocking, but you talking about having to have a conversation with our child about, like, sexual integrity and drugs just, like, brought [01:11:00] me That did it.
Brought me to tears of, like, man, these are things that, like, they're gonna have to navigate. And, like, I think about me as like a teenager in college and like having to navigate those things and just like hurt around that that I've experienced. And I'm like, no, I'm keeping them in the bubble wrap. Like I don't want them to have to navigate those things.
But I know that's not reality that they, they do have to. You know, they will come face to face with those things and man, even more motivation to instill values in them that when they do hit this, that they're not that they're making the right decisions. Cause it's like, I don't want you to make the right decisions just to make the right decisions to like, please mom and dad, but like making God honoring decisions.
Yeah. [01:12:00] That is what I want for them honoring of themselves and they can keep stuff from us. Yeah. No. If they're listening to this episode, when they're able to listen and understand things, you cannot keep stuff from us. They can hide stuff away from us if they want to, but to recognize that, like, you can't hide anything from God and not in a scary way, but just in an integrity way of like the barometer for whether or not something is the right thing to do in society is, is there a consequence?
And so, yes, sin always has consequences, but they're not always immediately felt, you know what I mean? And so the idea is like, I know, man, kids, like the way, the way I was about to say we, like, yes, the way we think is like, oh, well, as long as this particular person doesn't find out about what I did, then I can do whatever I want.
But the reality is in the integrity pieces is like, no, I live in a way to honor God, even if no one else knows what goes [01:13:00] on in my, in my life. Yeah. Kid, if you're listening, you can't hide stuff from us. I just want to pat us on the back. I don't know how long have we been recording at this point.
We're over an hour right now. We're over an hour and we have maintained the gender neutral pronouns. We did. The entire time. We did. We know the gender of our baby. And we have managed not to spoil it in over an hour of talking about them. Yeah, I'm very impressed. I could see you like looking at my lips while I talk.
I'm like, don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. And for clarity, using the they them pronouns, we are only having one. I, yes, I was having a conversation with somebody the other day and I said them. And their face was just pure shock. Is it them? When I hear them, I don't think plural. I guess so. It can be.
It can be one or plural. Um, but utter shock. Yeah. They were like, are you having more than one child? No, we are having one child. [01:14:00] Uh, we know their gender. That will be their gender. We are only using the they them pronouns out of anonymity. And, uh, wanting to keep that as a secret between us for a little bit.
That feels like a good place to wrap it up. We did it! We pod That's it? We podcast? We never do another episode again. We just, we did this one and that was really cool. But no, this was, uh, great. I just enjoy hanging out with you. Yeah, it's sweet. We have fun together. We do have fun together. So we can continue to podcast because this filters through all of our That's right.
Our, um, our values. There you go. I knew you'd figure it out eventually. Thanks. Well, hey guys, we are so excited to be back. Um, man, we want to reestablish some level of relationship with you. We, I think one of the things I really enjoyed and one of the things that genuinely drove us to come back was remembering the Instagram messages that we would get from people, the conversations we would have with people in passing about how this has been impacting you and so, uh, yeah.
Go ahead and [01:15:00] share that stuff. If you like. Or like, Oh, these sweet little naive babies who don't know anything about raising kids. Like if you have any of those things, we want all of your advice. Um, like genuinely feel free to send it to us. A couple of ways you can do that. You can go to true discipleship 2021 at gmail.
com. You can send us an email there. Maybe if you have a lengthier thing to say, or like, you know, Hey, here, our family values is something that we want to share. Or how did you guys come up with this? And we need to have a longer conversation. We're totally available to do that. You can also find us on Instagram at true discipleship podcast.
Uh, that's probably the quickest way to get a response back from us. Um, we'll see something there and get back to you relatively quick. Listen, if this has been a blessing to you, please go ahead and share it with people. Uh, feel free to leave a five star review, an honest five star review. Um, tell us how, you know, if this actually does make a difference in your life.
Um, and just continue to, to share this around. Um, hopefully it's something that you will listen to again, maybe with your spouse or with your kids. And I don't know, maybe it'd be cool depending on the ages of your kids to ask [01:16:00] them like, Hey, what do you think? Like value should be, what are some things you should think?
And I say, basically the age of the kids, cause I know like a five year old would be like, we should have candy for dinner every night. Like, Nope, that's a rule. That's not a value. We will prioritize sweets. There you go. Yeah. We will always have treats. Um, yeah. So anyway, I'm blabbering on at this point, but, uh, this has been episode one of season two of the True Discipleship Podcast.
We have seasons now. We do when you disappear for two years, you call it seasons cause then it sounds intentional. Um, but yeah, that's all we got for you guys. We love y'all. We're happy to be back and we will see you next week. See you then.
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