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With a variety of shows, Legion Podcasts brings you discussion on the worlds of horror, film and video games from an assortment of perspectives.
I hate grapefruit.
Everything is ready, my darling.
Do not be afraid. Soon we'll
be together again.
This sandwich tastes as dry as hell.
Hello and welcome to hello, this is the Doom show. I am Richard.
Folks, this is your spooky season. I promise
you, unless you listen to it, not during your spooky
season, but for me it's a halloweener.
I'm here with Mark. Mark, hello? Can you hear me?
Mark, I can totally hear you. And to me I
think that every day you should live it as
if it is Halloween. That's right. Never take
off your mask, people. Sometimes it's attached to you,
sometimes it is. Sometimes it's the best way to face the
world with a mask. I agree.
We are going to talk about a spooky ukie movie called the child from
1977. It has absolutely got some Halloween content.
I won't say it's not more than a throwaway moment
in the film, but damn it, there's Halloween. The child was
directed by Robert Vascanian or
Voskanian and written by Ralph Lucas.
I have a wonderful trailer for this thing.
One thing about the child, it was marketed
very well. So here comes a fun trailer
and or tv spot for the chilled, the chitcha,
the kid, the old kid.
Oh, sue, the way you heard about.
The omen and Carrie, you'll hear about the child.
I have friends, they do favors for me.
What kind of favors? You'll find out.
Let's play hide and go kill, a terrifying screen thriller.
The child. Rated r.
So that was the trailer,
the beautiful something weird dvd which I still have from
very long ago. It's got three paragraphs on the back.
So I'm going to read the plot from IMDb and it
goes something like this. A young couple's three year old daughter is
kidnapped and no trace is ever found of her. I 14 years
later, a young woman claiming to be that girl shows up at the parents
house. Wait, that's yesterday's child from 1977.
Oh, I was so excited. I thought maybe
like Tara Reid had a new lifetime movie that I did not know about.
No, it's the Melissa Joan Hart's new one. Oh no.
This is a movie apparently with Shirley Jones and Claude Akins
and yeah, very, very interesting drama.
But no, that's not this one. The child from 1977 is
a newly hired housekeeper arrives to her employer's house
in the countryside. She slowly discovers that the only child in
the house, an eleven year old girl, hides a deadly secret.
I'm not going to continue this podcast unless you promise
to keep that voice going through the duration of this recording. Mark.
It's actually really hard to keep talking like this because I'm
using a part of my body that is not exercised in any
way. I'm gonna have. I'm gonna have an amazing
voice. Sort of like mildly drunk
William Shatner. I'm not sure what I was going for. I don't know. But I
love it. I love it so much, I feel. Like it's a character on the
love boat. Speaking of the love Boat, have you
seen the Halloween episode of the Love Boat with Vincent Price?
I'm going to say yes, but not because I remember it, but because
I did not have a lot. Well, I don't have a life now, but at
the time the love boat was on, I did not have a life, and I
never missed an episode of the Love Boat. It's a banger.
It's an absolute joy of pure Halloween goodness.
One thing I'd forgotten about the love boat is that it's a
perfect mix of goofy and completely deadpan serious.
Yes. I had no idea. I thought it was all fun and silly, but no.
They tackle some issues sometimes. People were like, what? Marriages were
breaking up? Yeah. Yeah. Like every episode.
That's the love boat. Anyway. It's the love boat. It's the magic of the love
boat. Well, just to piggyback off that, please tell me you've seen the Paul Lind
Halloween special. Of course we have the dvd. Good for you.
Okay, we can continue with this. Yeah, it's. It's the most hilarious
version of Beth ever. Yeah.
Like, we don't want to be here by kiss.
I felt like that was a lot of kiss performances early on.
Yes, absolutely. Anyway, back to the child. Back to the child.
Talk a little bit about the crew. Just the
writer and director. They did not do a lot. I'm going
to reference the nightmare USA book written
by good old Stephen Thrower. And the dreamy Stephen throw.
Oh, my God, I love him. I love him so much. And he
interviewed them about the production and what went wrong,
especially since they, like, never made a dime
on the movie and think it was a huge failure. They're wrong
about the first half. I mean, this. No, I believe them. They didn't
make any money, but they're wrong that it was a failure. Yeah. No, it's wonderful.
Yep. The director didn't go on to do anything Mister Muskanian,
but Ralph Lucas went on to write Planet of dinosaurs
from the same year as this. And a horror movie slash
thriller. Maybe more of a thriller called Zipper Face from
1992. And that's the only way you can see it. You gotta go zipper face.
So. I'm not familiar with zipper face. Me neither.
Planet of the dinosaurs. I love that one,
if it's what I'm thinking of. Let's see. Play.
It's planet. Oh, Richard, you need plan
the dinosaurs in your life. It's. It's goofy. Fun poster.
Yeah. Oh, the poster's amazing. It's just. It's so much fun.
You really need this in your life. They're also hateful to each other.
The crew is just. They turn on each other. Drop of a dime.
Yeah, you've got some really. Like, the jumpsuits are like men
in jumpsuits. Like, it's amazing. You have mustaches. Seventies mustaches.
It's just wonderful. And then you got the, like, a little Ray Harry Ellison esque
stop motion dinosaurs. No, it's great.
I'm into it. Zipper face is about a cop, a lady
cop trying to catch a serial killer. And of course, the serial killer is
completely kinked out in his head to toe leather gear.
And it looks like it's the most early nineties thing that's
ever happened. So I feel like I need zipper face in my
life. We all do. The movie and the actual zipper
face. Oh, yeah. I didn't mean the movie. I just meant.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that. So characters.
We're gonna run through the characters right quick before we jump into the plot.
And also, spoiler warning, if you haven't seen the child, please watch it.
I think they didn't release it on its own when they did that.
Was it the homegrown horrors or was it a. Oh,
was that arrow video that did.
I know the witch that came from the sea was on one,
because I love the witch that came from the sea. That's an amazing movie.
It's a set called American Horror Project.
Yes. And the witch that came from the sea is on that one, because the
one you're thinking of is vinegar syndrome. Puts out the homegrown horrors.
Oh, okay. The child I know you can find easy
to watch. And I'm sure there's copies of. Of the old something weird
video dvd floating around out there. Spoiler alert.
We recommend you go watch this movie wholeheartedly.
So, characters, we've got Laurel Barnett.
She plays Alician Del Mar,
our babysitter slash tutor who's
coming to work in a little town. This actress did some tv
episodes. Most notably, she was on an episode of Barnaby Jones.
Very fun seventies crapola tv.
Rosalie Cole, she plays Rosalie
Norton. She's the star of the picture.
She's our child, our titular child. The.
She did nothing after this. I don't blame her. You cannot top this performance.
That's what I was thinking. A lot of these people did nothing after. And I
think it was just like, I can't rise above this. No, this is the
pinnacle of horror and the pinnacle of my career. Done.
Quit. Yeah, this is it. Next we got Frank Janssen.
He plays her father, Mister Norton. He is sort of
my favorite character in the movie. He's a very stern father
figure, to say the least. He did some tv episodes of
the Waltons and Gun Smoke. And then we've
got Richard Hanners,
another actor who didn't do anything. He plays Len,
who is brother, older brother of Rosalie,
son of Mister Norton. And he's got a little crush on Alicia Ann.
Well, and I think she likes him back because she has eyes, because he's
kind of hunky. He is. And they have a special dream dance together.
In the movie, we've got Ruth
Bellon. Ruth Bellon plays Misses Whitfield,
the busybody, the local busybody. She was on an episode
of Charlie's Angels. And apparently, according to
the trivia, she was the hardest person to work with on the film.
She was a stage actress, and they couldn't get her to stop,
like, bellowing and like, performing to the rafters.
They had to keep reminding her that this is a movie.
Let's see. Those are the main people. Those are our characters that
have speaking roles. And that's how they got their SaG cardinal
or their sad card, because they never acted again. Oh,
too mean. Is that too mean? No, because I really do
feel like they just knew they could not top this movie. Right? Right. They gave
it their all, even if their all was confusing. We got it.
We got it. We did get their all. Alright,
so the movie opens up with some sound effects,
piano synthesizers, which I'm all about,
the synthesizers of this movie. They're really
beautiful sounding like those things that
probably cost like 10, 15, 20 grand back
in the seventies that you could do on your phone now with like a
touch of a button. That's so cool. We get some nice clouds and
fog, and the credits are just really stark other
than that. But then, Mark, tell me
about the kitten in the basket. What is. What is our little Rosalie up
to? So Rosalie is to me off the bat, you know,
she's no good. She can't be trusted. She's kind of on par with Damien.
Anyway, she has this cute little kitten in a
basket. And you think, well, you know, nothing bad will
happen to this kitten. But she offers it up almost like a
sacrifice to this gnarled green kind of
hand that reaches over a tombstone and just takes the kitten away.
So we're led to believe that she almost is in cahoots
with the living dead right off the bat. Right, right. She's giving them a
snack. A snack? A little kitten to tide you over
till dinner. Wait. Wait till we get the farm
animals arriving. That's where all the cows went. Yeah.
Next, we cut to a beautiful lady. This is our Elysianne.
She's very happy go lucky. She's just, like, beaming with excitement
about this new job opportunity she's taken to care for
the kitten feeder. And then as she's driving
down this lonely, lonely road, donkey Kong throws
a barrel at her and she wrecks her car. She does.
She does that. She does. She gets out of the car and grabs her
suitcase and just starts walking and starts hoofing it to her job.
And surprise. We get a surprise dog.
This. This unruly hound is just trying to kill her,
and it's being walked by a boy, question mark.
Yeah, yeah. This little boy child who
might be a girl with who we just. They just say it's a boy.
I don't know what's going on, but misses Whitfield is there,
and she apologizes for this. This dog is being like,
he's just a friendly, friendly doggy. She immediately starts
launching into gossip, talking shit
about the Norden family.
Cannot resist. No. No, she cannot.
Now, these people, they deserve to have shit talked about
them, especially Mister Norden, the patriarch of this family.
She arrives at the house and she meets Mister Norden.
He's very intimidating right out of the gate. And then
he's like. He said something to the effect of, I can't stand nervous women.
Then he hired the wrong woman for the job. Also,
he brought her into the worst fucking situation to bring even a normal
woman. Freaking dick. So.
Right, yes. We also meet Len,
the son, and he's. Is he
sort of smitten with her from the beginning, or is he just strange to.
I guess. I can't recall. I can't figure out, like, do these,
like. Okay, so this. So this is filmed in California?
Sure. But to me, this seems like it's almost like.
And I don't mean this disparagingly of any place, but it seems
more like they're, like mountain folk or something to
me, like, they don't interact with other people.
Exactly. Another fun fact about this movie that I did not
know until taking notes for it. This is supposed to be
set in the 1930s.
Did you have any idea? No,
no, but I'm fine with that. That's. That's fine. But so they just
seem very aloof. Like. Like you were saying, like, Len just seems kind of
aloof. It's like, have you ever seen a woman?
You know? I don't know. It's very odd, which adds to the whole feel
of the film for me. I'm okay with that. But, yeah, they're just all kind
of socially strange. That reminds me of the line
from poor white trash two.
Bo don't know what girls is for.
And Bo goes, do too. I've been watching
good times. So she gets to meet her
little girl that she gets to tutor. Tell me about when the
awkward encounter between Rosalie and Alician.
Well, so, okay, so she. It's late when she gets
there because she knew she had to go to her job. But first she's got
to stop by Miss Whitefield's place and spends a lot of time
there and then. So she gets there very late, and Rosalie's already in bed.
But now Rosalie, like, Richard, I don't want to put words in your mouth,
but she. To me, she's not really a child. Even though she is the
child, she seems more like a teen to me. Like a preteen.
Yes. Like she might even possess a driver's license. We don't know.
But she's asleep in her room, which is oddly decorated
for a child of her age because,
again, she seems so much older. But there's toys in there that really
seem for a younger child. But anyway, she's asleep, and then
Alician comes in at night and just stands over her
while she's sleeping, which would be the most jarring
way to meet your babysitter. Nanny tutorial.
Yep. And she's also wearing, like, this frosted
eyeshadow. That's only of this time. Except it's not,
because you just told me it's the thirties, so no one would be wearing that
in the thirties. Yes, they were like, okay, so this is
the mid seventies. What's the most, like,
anachronistic decade we could set everything in so that
all of the decor, all of the fashion, and especially my blue eyeshadow,
that stands out like the freaking Homer Simpsons.
Makeup. Shotgun from the freaking Simpsons.
I like how I said homer Simpson from the Simpsons. That's good, right?
Yeah. Hey, everybody, it's like,
mister family from Family Guy. You know what I'm talking?
Yeah. Now, I love the house.
Just real quick. But did you notice how, like,
it was in bad shape? Like, there was. You could tell they were trying
to shoot around it, but, like, there was water damage, like, in the
corners and. Yeah, but the house was. You could tell one time was beautiful.
Yeah, that's. That's some more trivia. Um, the house that they filmed in was marked
for demolition, so they were. They literally
went in, film this film, and then this filming
location was torn down, like, right after. Oh,
yep, yep. So it should be, like, a historical monument.
Because of this, you could probably go visit the plot of
land. It's probably a parking lot. It's. They won't let you
in until they smear that blue eyeshadow over your eyes. Everyone has to go with
blue eyeshadow on. It's a chipotle, but you still have
to do the makeup. I would love that.
So down at breakfast the next morning, we have this
wonderful conversation about anagrams. Yeah.
And grapefruit. Who gives a child grapefruit?
That's just a weird choice to me. Like, I'm like, she's gonna friggin hate
you. Like, as a nanny cat, nanny, tutor,
babysitter. You're gonna want to win this child over, and grapefruit's
not the way to do it. Yeah, but then on top of that, she starts
flirting with her brother. Like, Rosalie doesn't exist.
Not great. Exactly. This child's gonna hate you forever.
But grapefruit. Like, I didn't even appreciate grapefruit until I
was in my thirties. You know, I'm still not a lover.
I. Oh, you're a lover, Mark. Come on.
Yeah, but what we also figure out, which makes. Which makes
Alician's behavior all the more like a
poor choice, is that Rosalie has special powers because
she could. She can manipulate things with her mind.
Yeah. We find out very quickly from
the kitten scene and from this that Rosalie
is a very special child. You don't want to make her mad.
No, sir. We see one of her first drawings,
we get some nice foreshadowing from. From her drawings.
I think we see the. Is this the drawing
of the funeral of her mother? Yes, but it's
done so well written. Like, it's not the drawing of a child.
It's, like, a professional cartoonist. She's going to enroll
in art college immediately after this movie because she's, you know, 17 years
old. Yeah. Right. So misses Whitfield
is already getting menaced in her home by some
unseen force. You get plenty of pov shots.
So there's something creeping around out there. Now, real quick, though,
her house is weird to me. It's gigantic,
and it's set up strangely. Yeah. It's got a weird
architectural style to begin with from the outside.
And then the inside of the house is like, there's so much
red in the decor of this movie. Like,
red is, like, the color of this film. It's crazy.
I haven't gone 4k yet, but I feel like this movie
would explode in 4k with color. Like, I would love
to see this. Yeah, I would love to see this in a. Would love to
see that. Her basement is the nightmare basement that I would have,
like, been completely terrified of as a child. Like, nope, not going
down there. Mom. Don't care. Yeah, no, the whole house is just very weird.
It's like. And I don't know if it was, like, a choice
to hide things, but, like, almost every wall is lined
with a curtain. I think that's absolutely what
they were doing. So I'm like,
what are you hiding? I don't. To me, I kept getting mortuary
feel like not the movie, but a mortuary. Cause there's just curtains.
I'm like, are there just. Are you just hiding viewing rooms behind all these curtains,
miss? It might have just been windows, too,
just so they could work at night, I guess. Maybe just
to me, it was creepy and unsettling. But anyway, like. And so there's something
in the house with her that we don't really get to see. There's, like,
she's attacked from something behind the curtain. And then just
out of nowhere, like, Rosalie appears outside,
really creepy reveal. Her dog is menaced outside,
and there's, like, the scares on the stairs. Yes. It's.
It's just. It's a pretty effective moment for such a low
budget movie, I thought. Yes. And the gore is crazy.
Like, she goes. She goes from alive to missing
half her face in a split second. Now, they don't really show
the. The incident happenings. They didn't have the money for, like, elaborate effects,
but the makeup they do for the afterwards is very
gross. I love it. Yeah. And to me, it's jarring because you
don't expect that from something of this
production value. So it takes you off guard almost.
Totally. Yeah. I think it's pretty cool. Then we have
some strange donuts at the dinner
table. What is up with these donuts? You're going to have to help me
with the donuts, Richard. Um, Alician, made donuts
for them for dessert, but we can just skip that.
There. There is the, uh, the story about the, uh,
the boy Scout troupe, though, the oleander comedy.
Oh, that was so weird. You want to talk about that?
If I get it right. So was it, like, the oleander?
Poisoned? Yeah. The boy scouts died.
Yes. At dinner, dad was talking about these dumbass
boy scouts who cooked a special meal in
the outdoors with oleander, and.
The Boy scouts ate it, and the whole troop died.
And this makes he and Rosalie giggle and
laugh and laugh like crazy. It is, like, the funniest
thing they've ever heard. It was, like, the best joke ever told at dinner.
And, like, len's giving Alician, which is, like, the strangest,
longest name to give someone. Alician. Like, the side looks
like. This isn't, like. I don't. I'm not sharing in the humor on this one.
I find this very off putting. He's like, I'm adopted,
right? I'm adopted. Please don't. Yeah, please don't. Please don't.
Killed. Every one of them. Died like flies.
It's so strange. It's so strange.
Yeah. It's almost like this whole movie's strange.
It is. It is. Almost like this whole movie is very strange.
Then we get to see Rosalie's more
of her artwork. We get to see the drawing of how
misses Whitfield died. And I just wrote in my notes,
that's art. It is. It should be. To me, it looks like
it should be on a desktop calendar like the little ones you
pull off each day. It's like Rosalie's
awful drawings for the day flipped a
new murder every day of how people in her town died. So one of
the reasons. Or, I mean, obviously, we're enjoying this, but one of the
reasons we picked this is because this movie has some Halloween in
it. Mark, what is going on with this Jack O lantern?
Yeah. So it seems like a forced Halloween thing because she's having
a party, but we don't see any of the people in attendance
at all. But it's talked about her having a Halloween
party because Alician feels like, the need
for her to have one. But there's a scene with a Jack O'lantern,
which is kind of creepy to me because it,
like, she blows it out, and it lights up again on its own accord and
then starts to, like, turn to follow her. It leaves our nanny
very nervous once all is said and done, but I think it's, again, a very
effective, low budget, practical effect for the film.
Yeah, totally. It's very unnerving. I think it
was very well done. I wonder how if you said in 4k if it would
ruin it. Oh. Oh.
Like, you'd be able to see how they were doing it. Yeah. Like, you see
the man's hand turning it or something. Maybe. Maybe. But it's.
I find it very, very creepy. Very neat little
Halloween thing they threw in there. I also feel like you need to
see this movie of a drive in, like, through speakers that aren't very good.
Yes. Because the. The audio is brutal.
Yeah. I just need a copy. With subtitles.
Yeah, I just. I. To me, that would be the perfect. Like, if I
could see this, like, at a drive in with,
like, three on a meat hook. I've never seen. Oh,
really? Just because that, to me, is another, like, true drive in movie.
I just would be, like, in heaven. Nice. Yeah. With popcorn and,
you know, a girl who I'm not interested in. Yay.
Yeah. She's gonna go home disappointed.
Yeah. But she'll enjoy. I was gonna say,
unless you wanted a really cool horror movie. Yes. Then she's like, that was
great. Mark's great. Thank you, Mark. Yeah, I like.
I like how you said that. Thank you, Mark.
It's perfect. I really do also love the way
they cannot show any party guests. They have to just. Where's all the other
kids? They're outside. Sure.
Jan. Sure. In my mind,
I wanted them to cut to the great Pumpkin party with all
the characters just doing that dance that, like, repeats. They only show up, like,
three steps, and they just keep doing it again and again.
So next up, the groundskeeper, a character who has no
dialogue, apparently has been robbing the graves, and he
stole some jewelry from Rosalie's
mother's grave. And he gets gotten by these
unseen creatures. Do they pitchfork him or do they
shoot him or. No, I think you're right. With the pitchfork. And,
like, isn't Rosalie watching from outside?
It seems as though she's commanding these things, which, you know, she totally
is to me. I got the feeling that he's, like, kind of nervous around
Rosalie. Like, he already knows there's something up with this child.
Which is why you don't steal jewelry from her mother's
grave. Exactly.
Well, and earlier on the film, they even mentioned something like, her mom
kind of had powers as well. Yes.
Yeah. So up next,
Rosalie. She finally fesses
up about her fiendish friends.
Won't you tell me about when she does that? And then we get the
totally left field dream sequence.
Yeah. Now it's Alician that kind of, like,
confronts her. Am I correct, or was it her father?
Yes. Someone. Okay. Someone. Okay.
And. But then you get. So she's clearly
got. The feelings are mutual between her and Lenore,
and they're dancing this, like, really kind of. It's like
a loopy. What would you call it? Not like a waltz,
but similar to a waltz. I guess they're outside. The camera's
kind of out of focus, but then it goes back and
forth between Len being her partner and. Like a scarecrow.
Yeah, it's like being her partner. Yeah. It's kind of like, almost like
a childish thing, like a ring around the rosies kind of a dance.
Yeah, it's very trippy. It's very 1930s
with blue mascara.
It's on point. Next thing you know, in the
waking world after that strange dream sequence, good old
Elysian finds that this teddy bear
has just got blood all over it. And then we have
that cool shock moment where it's dad.
He's dead up on the stairs, and he's bleeding on the teddy.
Dun, dun, dun. Okay. Is this,
like, new to dad, or did he, like, live with this girl
and never know she had these powers or.
Honestly, I think he's a very bad dad who wouldn't.
He wouldn't know what was going on until he literally gets killed.
Like, okay. Okay. Yeah. Cause I'm like, did he.
They seem to allude that he may have had issues with his wife
having these powers as well? Oh, yeah, that's right.
I don't know. Okay. I just put that out there. Yeah, he ignored
the problem. He took the ostrich way out.
Hard to breathe. Sorry. Hard to breathe. So now Len
and Elisey Ann have to start running because
they're being chased by one of. Hello. This is the doom show's
most prestigious actors, Deya Fernidae.
Now that the action is rolling, Mark, what is happening here?
Well, now her reanimated dead friends
have come out to attack. And it just like you said, it alternates.
Like, is it day? Is it night? We don't even know. I don't think the
actors even really know what it's supposed to be. And they get a
chase ensues. It's a very treacherous escape.
They're on foot for a while, and then all of a sudden,
like, I never got the impression that Alician
was frail, but she becomes the most.
And I know we're not supposed to say this, it's politically incorrect now for some
reason, but she becomes the most hysterical woman ever
captured on film, like, ever I swear to God. Oh,
it is totally politically correct to talk about how this is some
bullshit, because, you know, she seems like she's got
it together. Yeah. And like, she just. She,
like, she's clutching her hair. She can barely hold her body
up. Like, she doesn't, like, I'm surprised he doesn't have to, like, force her
stomach in and out to make her breathe. Like, she can't
do anything, Richard. She's just. She shuts
down. Oh, man. Oh. Anyway, yeah, so they make
it. What is it? Actually, they make it too. It's like this,
like, farming, construction, like plant thing.
Her car has been since repaired, and they jump in
her car, but as they're. They're driving away, they get
crashed again because of these creatures, I think. And then
they run. After discovering the car horn, the volume.
Excuse me. The sound from the car horn disturbs these
zombies, which I want you to tell. Tell me about their look in a moment.
But, yeah, they run to what looks like the most half assed
cow or sheep processing
facility for either shearing sheep or slaughtering sheep or
something, because it's just really ramshackle. Like Leatherface
would be thinking, you know, this is not a professional establishment.
I can't work here. Well, I especially love. There's a
scene where they're trying to get through a locked gate. Oh, my God.
But the gate, you could put. You could literally
wrap your leg around the side of the gate and
then be on the walkway they needed to be on. But they're, like, fighting for
their lives with the chain that's locking that gate. I'm like,
what are you doing? But,
yeah, they finally make it up into this, and again, it seems
like they're doing everything you don't want to do in a horror movie.
They're going higher and locking themselves into a smaller
space where there's no chance of exit.
And they've locked themselves in this room. They're being chased by
now. Okay, I am in no way making fun of this movie because I love
this movie. They look like the living dead from children
shouldn't play with dead things. Like,
they're not flesh. It's almost like crepe paper is hanging
off them for torn flash effect.
They're kind of. They're kind of pretty cool effects for
what we're dealing with. They're, like, creeping on them. I love the
fact that they're kind of gaining access from the floorboard underneath
them. I thought that was really creepy as shit. Lens on his own
because, you know, Alician's just shut down.
She is of no use to this man whatsoever.
No, sir. He may as well have a hand puppet.
They're breaking through the bottom floorboard. They're coming through the walls.
Really? Everything you expect from a zombie to do, these zombies are doing.
It builds up tension really well. You want to slap.
You do want to slap Alicianne. It's so bad.
This poor actress, man. Like, it's just so annoying.
I love Len's speed hammering when.
So they're pulling all these pieces of wood off of,
like, tables and chairs and shit to hammer
up to block themselves in. And the hammering that
Len is doing, it's like speed hammering from hell.
If they got married, she would have a horrible time on their wedding night.
That was my. That was my joke. But, yes. So the
floor does give way, and our buddy, he has, like,
one bullet in the shotgun. They just randomly found a shotgun.
And so he's stomping on these creatures. Then they pull him down
in. Into the floor. And you think, oh, he's coming
back. He's gonna be okay. Nope. Len gets gotten
more gore. But I'd like to point out that Alician at
no point reached down to really help him at all.
Yeah. Yeah. Like, he really was on his
own. Someone needs to talk to this person.
He just. Maybe he's like his father. He can't stand nervous women.
Maybe. Maybe.
So at the end, Alician survives into the.
She survives the night, and she goes and pays
Rosalie a little visit. What happens? Well,
she's not alone in her visit to Rosalie. She's got an axe.
Yes. And Rosalie has been basically orchestrating
all of this, and she puts an end to it by just
placing an axe right in Rosalie's face. Yes.
Oh, my God. So she was just fine with murder. Well, I guess
rosalily, like, doesn't care about anyone because she basically killed
her brother as well. Exactly. More or less. Yeah.
Huh. Yeah. She should have been like me, where I'm
slowly killing my parents with disappointment.
Come on. That's funny stuff. Oh, man. Hi,
mom. Yeah. And that's the end of the movie. That's the end of the movie.
But it's so wonderfully weird.
Yes. And it goes so fast.
Yeah, this is. What is this, like, 70 or.
Yeah, this is 82 minutes. This is. Flies right by.
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Woolco. This was executive produced
by somebody named Harry H. Novak.
He produced movies like rituals from
1970. That's amazing. That's a good one.
He produced rattlers from 1976. That was
fun. And just lots and lots of exploitation films. Like, it was so many,
I couldn't even like, keep up with it. The music
was by Rob Wallace and Michael Quattro.
What little I could find about Michael Quattro
was that he was like a synthesizer expert.
Like, he really adopted the early synthesizers. And there's
some solo albums that he has out you can find. This was shot
by a gentleman named Maury Alavi.
And as much as I love how this movie looks, I could not find any
more info on them. This was filmed in Culver
City, Montebello and Boyle Heights, Los Angeles,
California. They had a very short
amount of time to work on this film.
And they, of course, had so many problems with the
sound. They had to do all the sound in post. Big shocker.
When you watch this film, which is funny because they still.
You still need the subtitles on because it's so hard to understand everybody.
It was, of course, inspired by Night of living Dead. This is that
wonderful in between period where I.
Night of the Living Dead was still making money in drive
ins. And so all those night of the living Dead inspired films were
happening before dawn of the Dead came out.
And I'm trying to think of anything else I learned
from the making of it. Yeah, they kind of like shot
it in 1970. 319 74. And then the
dubbing and the editing was done up until 76.
So I love that, you know, like you said, the night of living Dead aspect
of it. But they decided to also throw in a
zombie controlling child. Yes. A killer child
movie. Yeah, yeah, I love that aspect of it. Beautiful.
Yeah. Now just real quick,
because I always do this in my head. Have you ever seen the movie
the pit? It's a canadian film from 1981. Oh,
yes. This is very like the pit. I would pair this with the pit
for a double feature viewing. I love it. I would
totally do that. This played in approximately
1200 to 1300 theaters. And because of
their bad contract, the. The filmmakers made very little
money. Oh, they're not very happy with the
executive producer, Harry Novaki. He did not give them a very good deal.
And, yeah, there's there's, if you guys can find,
I think it's out of print, nightmare USA by Stephen Thrower.
But I'm sure smart people out there will be able to find a
copy, if you know what I mean. I mean, I recommend all of Stephen Thrower's
books, but Nightmare USA is just such a joy. He talks
to so many filmmakers in this. Like, you really get a
feel of how exploitation cinema
works from the book and all the weird trials
and tribulations of indie filmmakers. It's very
good. It is a must have if you're a horror film
fan at all. To me, yeah, yeah. It's the kind
of book you sit there and make lists out of. Like, I need to see
this. I've got to have this kind of thing. And I want to
give a shout out, folks, if you're new to cult
cinema at all and you haven't heard of something weird
video, you are in for a treat. Something weird
video was run by Mike Vrani,
who passed away, God, like a while ago, rest in
peace to him. But I believe
his partner is still running it. Lisa Petrucci
is still, they're partnering up with vinegar syndrome a lot. So something
weird video is still out there, but it introduced me to dozens,
hundreds of just completely batshit crazy
movies. I assume that you know something weird video as
well. Oh, yeah. Like, like Roberta Finley films,
is it? Was it, what was her husband? Was it?
Yeah, it was, um. Mike passed away. Yeah. Mike Finley,
Michael Findlay. Yeah. Yeah. There's so many films that they've turned me on to
nudie cuties. Yeah. Just so many things.
And like you said, vinegar syndrome puts out a lot of them,
and I've never seen one that I was disappointed in. I've seen some crazy
films from something weird video. Yeah.
Like Swamp of the Ravens was a spanish horror
film that had a real dead body in it, and it made
my jaw drop. They go to a morgue and the guy's like,
look at this corpse. We never even identified this body. Look at this.
He's dead. He's dead. And he starts slashing this face.
Oh, God. With a razor blade. And I'm like,
think he just mutilated an actual human corpse on camera.
Unbelievable. I was like,
man, Spain, y'all be wild.
Yeah. Yes. So, Mark, how do
you feel, though, about the child? Be honest.
Oh, I love this movie. I know I say that about
every movie, but I really do. It's so I
don't think I'm your typical movie watcher. I will say that right now.
But it is so strange, but in a
good way. It just. It's like a. It's like, to me,
it's like wrapping yourself in a comforting, warm blanket
for the fall. It's just got those vibes.
I'm not a huge zombie movie fan,
so if there's a zombie movie I like, it's. I really,
really like it. And there's not many, and this is one of them,
along with, like, return of living dead. And like I said, children shouldn't play with
dead things. And there's something about this. It's. I like
the weird, like, child aspect of it. It leaves you with lots of
questions, but I'm okay with that. It's just so
strange. Like we said, it was filled in California, but there's something
about it that seems very, like,
midwestern to me. Like. Like, if you said this was filmed
in the appalachian mountains, I'd be like, yes. Yes, it was.
Absolutely. I just love that about it. Like a. Like, these people,
like, might be, like, just a little bit
far off neighbors from the people in pumpkin Head,
you know, I'd be okay with that. I just think it's a
perfect fall watch, you know, crispy evening out there, and you dim
the lights and have a cup of cocoa and watch the child.
Nice. But don't actually watch your
own child, because they're out in the graveyard. Right.
Letting you down. Feeding.
Feeding kittens to things. Yes. Don't feed kittens to ghouls.
Come on, guys. So, yes, I love this, too. This is so moody.
The audio is the one thing I can complain about when it comes to the
dialogue. The audio. In the trivia, it says it was recorded
with an actual potato.
Yeah. I love how this is bathed in red. And just so
the camera works really delicate to me, and it's just so
pleasing to the eye. The odd camera angles,
too, are just really special. The creature effects are funny as
hell because you've got the aforementioned crepe paper
faces. But I love how they look sort of like stormtroopers.
Cause they're kind of, like black bodysuits with, like, gray and white
paint on them, so they kind of look like they're all the same too.
They all, yes, very much. Yeah. All of these people died on the same day
and then were brought back. I mean, were they supposed to be,
like, miners that had died in a mine altogether?
I'm just adding lore to the movie that maybe
they were boy scouts. Oh, that'd be amazing.
Now it's more like the children. Yeah.
Now it's now it's cemetery, man. Oh, that'd be great.
Great. That would be great. I love the music and
I just. Yeah, this is. This is. This is a great, great,
simple, simple story that's very fun with lots of kookiness to
it. So that's the child.
But before I let Mark ski Daddle
and get to his trick or treating schedule,
his strict apple bobbing pin the tail on the
zombie games, we're gonna do a special version
of most recent and most recently loved,
where we're gonna pick a spooky one, a Halloween season title.
So, Mark, what is a frequent Halloween favorite that
you watch around this time of year? Now I'm gonna. Cuz it's my
birthday. My birthday is Halloween. I'm gonna
ask for a. For a present from you. There's two movies I
want to mention really quick, if that's okay. Please. So growing
up, our PBS, our local public service channel,
Channel Nine, would always show the haunting every
halloween from 1963. And I remember watching
that when I was super little and I. It was black and white.
And that never, black and white films never bothered me as a kid. And so
I love the thing. It's based on a book by Shirley
Jones. Jackson.
No, no Shirley Jones from the Partridge family.
No Shirley Jackson. It's got your lesbian undertones.
It's got amazing practical effects. It's got strong
performances by Julie Harris.
Is Eleanor, our lead. She was also in home for the holidays. I recommend
that one. It's a tv kind of a slasher. Claire Bloom is
in it. She plays Theodora the lesbian, also in
question. She was in the illustrated man with Rod Steiger, who I love more
than anything. Yes, this is one of those things. It's like God bless
the programmer of that station because they
turned me onto this film that I cherish it
as a childhood memory. And it's just a wonderful film.
If you've never seen it, if you've never read the book, make this part
of your Halloween tradition. Nice. You know why you said Shirley Jones?
Because I put it into your head with my yesterday's child joke at the beginning.
Well, and actually, I actually wrote Shirley Jones in my note because I
love the Partridge family. Oh, nice.
Because I'm a dork. Hey. No, I'm a dork. I love the music man.
That's one of my favorite films of all time. Oh, Walt's a big music man
fan. All right. Now do you want to go and then I go,
or do you want me to just do both mine? Go ahead and do both
yours. Okay, so are you okay with the story aspect
that I did, I throw along with these things? I love it. Do it.
Okay, so, number two is
John Carpenter's Halloween from 1978.
But not what you're thinking, Richard. I've heard of it. No, no,
no, no. Not what you're thinking.
I was, you know, in the eighties, when VHS
first started, I was the dork that wanted to buy them from
the video store to watch over and over again. And they didn't
even know what I was talking about, let alone, why would you pay, like,
you know, $89 for a tape that's been watched again and again and again?
Exactly. So I talked them into it. They sold me a copy.
I watched that copy religiously, probably once
a week for decades. Wow. Okay.
So I did not realize, and I
don't know if they did this on purpose because they saw schmuck coming,
or if they didn't realize it, or someone ordered it and didn't know what they
had got. But what I had been watching all those times
was the television edit that they had filmed
during the making of Halloween two. Oh, my God.
So it wasn't the. The one that went to the theaters,
it was the one that was made for the television.
The NBC put up, like, $3 million to buy the rights
to show it on tv. Sure, sure. So, like,
I was familiar with it. It didn't have any nudity,
which I didn't. I didn't think anything of it. And it had extra scenes,
like, one with, like, Doctor Loomis, like at the board.
At the review board for Michael's release, and then one of them confronting
Michael Myers and everything. Well, I eventually got the anchor
Bay DVD, and I was, like,
shocked when I saw PJ souls nipples, because that was like seeing
my sister's nipples. Like, I love PJ souls.
So my tradition for everyone should
be watching the tv version of Halloween. Oh,
man. Yeah, I'm gonna do that this year. I'm absolutely
gonna do that. That's great. I had no clue, Richard. I was
the biggest dope. That's so cool. Yeah.
This is what happens if you don't have anyone to talk to. It's like,
no, I was just some kid. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, I gotta have
Halloween. Yeah. It's like when you're really bookish and you say words
all wrong because you've only read them right. You never
heard, well, saying. Yeah, exactly, Richard, I wish you could have seen my face,
because the one I had, it was just cropped right above her nipples.
And then when her nipples came on my screen, I about died.
Like I. Was that your first time seeing
them? Yeah, because I'd never seen it uncut like I
always had. No, I meant. I meant, oh, nipples in reality.
No, no, no. Because I had probably. Oh,
I couldn't resist. I couldn't resist. Well, mine is a
new favorite. We watched it for the first time this year.
Every once in a while I renew my Google search in,
or rather my IMD butthead. Searching where?
Keyword search, Halloween keyword search,
Halloween party, keyword search, Halloween costume. And I sort
by date. So get the earliest films up to, the most up
to date films and just look for something I've never heard of before.
And a movie came up. Someone recently tagged this
older film with a yemenite Halloween and Halloween party,
etcetera, tags. And it was called the Visitants.
Now this is a movie from 1986, and I'd
heard of the director before. This is Rick Sloan,
he of Hobgoblins fame. Oh,
hobgoblins. Which I've still never seen with its 2.2
on IMDb. Oh, no, you need hobgoblins.
Yes, Jeffrey hobgoblins in your life. Yes.
Jeffrey has been telling me to only watch
the MST three K version, but I'm not gonna,
I'm not gonna listen to that advice. I'm gonna watch the plain
old hobgoblins without the robots and
Joel or Mike talking me through it.
The bar scene alone is worth. Is worth admission.
This guy also directed blood
theater, which is the key title here. So blood theater from
1984 with Mary Warrenov. I think she's the only person I've
heard of. Yes, I love the movie and I love her. Yes,
of course. Okay. We are Mary warn of
freaking super fans on the doom show. We love her. I would
watch her do her taxes. She's so great. She is
in this movie called Blood Theater. And I recently, very recently,
like two months ago, three months ago,
got the blood theater Blu ray. And I
was like, visitants. Wait a minute. And I get out my blood theater
Blu ray. And sure enough, a special bonus on the.
On the disc or on the disc, two of blood theater
is the visitants. So I may have seen this. So keep going.
What's the premise? It is about a young man,
a teenager, who discovers that his weird neighbors
are aliens who are going to take over the Earth. So these
aliens arrive in the 1950s because this director
is obsessed with the 1950s, and they're planning to take over the earth
to repopulate it with aliens, right? These aliens have
all kinds of special powers. We flash forward to the eighties,
so 30 years later, they're finally ready to take over the earth on
Halloween night, when their neighbor,
this dorky kid, steals their laser gun, that does all their
special powers. And the rest of the movie is a
Halloween party, goof em up, chase around town,
silly shit. And as soon as it was over,
I looked at Lietta and I said, we just watched shitty rocky
horror picture show. Now, it's not as kinky
as Rocky horror picture show, but it's got the aliens on
Earth. And they have a similar imperious attitude about
humans. So. And they're, and they're definitely
a couple with some relationship problems. These aliens,
like the, the main guy, hasn't had sex in like 30 years or
something. It's really funny, but. Yeah, I've never seen this. I'm looking at
pictures of it while you're talking. I've never seen this. I think I need this
in my life. Highly recommend it. It's very cheap.
That's another reason why it reminds me of rocky horror, is that is dirt
cheap. They very minimal camera setups. It's a lot like blood
theater. It's the same guy, you know, some of the same crew, I'm sure.
And it's just bare bones and they just work with what they got.
None of the jokes are funny, but it all works. And it's
candy coated colors and just never
ending silliness. So. Yes, that's amazing. Visitants.
This will be something we watch every year. For real.
It looks great. All it's missing is Mary Lorenz.
But, but here's the thing. The main alien lady who's very beautiful,
she is absolutely gorgeous. She almost looks like Susan Sarandon to me in
some of these pictures. Yeah, yeah. Jordana Capra,
she, she reminds me, her character reminds me of Mary Waranov.
I wouldn't be surprised if they wrote it for her. Oh,
oh, yeah. But it, she does
just fine. Interesting, huh? I must
see this. I must see this. Absolutely. Now,
real quick. Two Mary one off films.
Seizure by Oliver Stone. Oh, yeah.
Was that the snakes? I'm thinking of spasms.
Yeah, no, seizure is just really strange. I believe Hervey vilashes is in
it too, from Fantasy island. Ooh,
weird film. Gotta see it. And then sugar
cookies. I have never seen Mary Warnoff look
as good ever as she does in sugar cookies.
It's. I need to see sugar. Beautiful. Yeah, beautiful. And,
um, Lynn Lowry from.
Oh, yes, you're right. Yes. Yep.
Yeah, I highly recommend. Both of those for people who are looking for mirror
Warnoff. Oh, yes. I recently. There's a bad rape joke
in it, and the rape joke is so bad, they do it twice. Twice.
And I was very disappointed. Is a movie called.
It was fun, but I was very disappointed with the joke.
Hollywood Boulevard. Hollywood Boulevard,
1976. It is a mishmash movie. Like a silly.
It's her and her often buddy,
Paul Bartell. Paul Bartel, yeah, he's in it.
They work together a lot, and it was wonderful. But. Oh,
I've seen Hollywood Boulevard. Yeah. It's really zany and
really silly, and it turns into a slasher movie. It's very wonderful.
Unfortunately, there's this really off putting rape joke, and they
do it twice because they were so proud of themselves.
Yeah. Anyway, now,
real quick, just half recommend. Go ahead. I have.
Yeah. Did you ever see Paul Bartel's movie private parts?
No, I just saw eating Raul for the first
time this year. I love private parts.
Back in the States, scream factory put it out.
It, to me, is so underrated. It's like a pseudo
slasher. But don't let that turn you off.
Yeah. Right. It's really good. Like, I love
it. It's very strange. Um,
I wish Paul. I like Paul Bartel films, but I wish he would have
done more horror, if that's what he was capable of.
Sure, sure. Um, yeah, and as a side, it's got one of
the best male tan lines I've ever seen in a film ever.
Um, but, yeah, that's the real private part right there.
Right? Yeah. But it is really a cool film.
Like, it's great. It's not the Howard Stern one.
Oh, please. That's all. Yeah. Well, let's. Let's just go back to the nineties
and stay there forever. Good God. So, yes,
seizure. I will watch. Sugar cookies. I will watch. And private
parts. I will absolutely watch these things. Yeah, it's from 72,
if that helps find it. The private part. I'll find it. Yeah. I know how
to search for private parts. Come on. I was gonna
say don't. Leanna's gonna check your search engine. Be like, what are you doing?
Well, Mark, thank you for joining me on this halloweener of an
episode. This is the best, best birthday gift
ever, Richard. Thank you, man. I am so excited for your
birthday. Yay. Me too.
Thank you for listening. Have a safe and spooky Halloween.
But, you know, unless you like danger, then go do something dangerous. You know,
make your. Your non reflective costume and go play in traffic,
whatever. Whatever you want to do. It's the 1990s.
I trust you. Yeah, right. Everything's good.
Bye, folks. Au revoir.
Folks. Thanks so much for listening to this episode.
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