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Welcome to The Guri Show, your go-to podcast for retreat leaders, coaches, and transformation seekers who are ready to create thriving businesses while embracing self-healing, wellness, and personal growth. Hosted by Guri Kaur, this show is your space to learn how to design life-changing retreats, confidently sell your offers, and master the mindset shifts needed to create abundance and impact.
Each episode dives deep into actionable strategies, personal insights, and soulful practices that combine business growth with inner transformation. From self-healing techniques and wellness rituals to powerful tools for scaling your coaching programs, we’ll help you align your purpose, your profits, and your peace.
Whether you’re building your first retreat or scaling to six figures and beyond, The Guri Show is your space to dream big, transform yourself, and empower others to do the same.
Tune in, grow your business, heal your soul, and create the legacy you’re destined for. Let’s thrive together!
Guri Kaur (00:05)
Have you ever had a fear, a doubt, or an old wound suddenly rise up out of nowhere? Maybe you're about to launch something new in your business. Start a new habit, step into a bigger role, or start a new healing practice. And suddenly this wave of fear or self-doubt hits you like a brick wall.
and you start asking yourself, why is this happening right now? Am I not ready? Is this a sign to stop? But what if I told you that fear, that doubt, that resistance isn't here to stop you? In fact, it's here to clear you. What if everything coming up right now is actually leaving?
And today we are going to talk about what's really happening when emotions like fear, anxiety, self doubt rise to the surface. I'll walk you through a powerful process to navigate these moments so that instead of getting stuck, you can actually move forward with more clarity and ease. Let's dive in.
Guri Kaur (02:20)
Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast. I'm so excited for today's episode because we are diving into a powerful shift that can change the way you experience emotions, especially fear, doubt and uncertainty. And I feel like I'm in an amazing moment right now because as I'm recording this podcast and I can see new moon from my window and Jupiter.
like right next to each other, a little bit far away from each other. But the view has both of these. I have both of these in the view from my windows. So I just feel so grateful while I'm recording this podcast. OK, back to the podcast. You've probably heard the phrase, what's coming up is clearing. But what does that actually mean?
And how do we work with this process instead of feeling overwhelmed by it? Whether you're a coach, a self healer or a leader stepping into your next level, or just somebody who's on your healing journey, you've probably noticed that every time you're about to expand, old emotions start rising to the surface. I see it happen to me all the time in my relationship. So that's my, you know, like,
the way that's my go-to place for these emotions to come up on the surface. And the clearing helps me in all other areas of my life. So maybe it's fear of failure, imposter syndrome, or uncertainty about whether you're truly ready, but something comes up. Something starts to...
cook up inside you, and it could be about just about anything, right? But here's the truth. These emotions aren't a sign to stop. They're a sign that something old is leaving. And today we are breaking down exactly how to work with these emotions, see them for what they really are, and allow them to clear. So you can move forward without resistance holding you back. Okay.
Let's take a deeper look at what it means when we say what's coming up is clearing. When we experience intense emotions, especially for the first time in a long while, it can feel overwhelming. It might seem like these feelings are a problem or something to avoid, but in reality, these emotions are surfacing because they're ready to be cleared. They're like
old baggage that's being brought to light. And when we let them rise, we can release them for good. Think of it this way. Imagine you've been storing boxes in the loft for years. You've tucked them away and forgotten about them, but over time, the loft gets crowded. When you finally open the door to clear the space, it feels overwhelming.
But this process isn't about adding more stuff. It's about removing what's no longer needed. Your emotions work the same way. What comes up isn't here to stay. It's here to be released. Okay. And before we go into the emotional regulation process, the step-by-step approach that I'm going to give you in this podcast.
I wanted to talk about fear for a moment. So what is fear really? Now imagine you're walking in a dense fog and I know you've heard, probably heard this analogy a couple of times before, but I wanted to bring it back again so that kind of it really hits this one time. And if it has already hit before, you know, maybe it can go to your long-term memory this time.
Okay, so imagine you're walking in a dense fog and you can't see what's ahead. But you know there is a road and you take a step forward, but it feels uncertain because you can't see clearly. The fog represents fear. It's not the road that's the problem. It's the fog that makes the journey seem so uncertain.
But if you keep walking step by step, eventually the fog clears and you realize the road was always there, safe and solid. It's the same with our fears. Often when fear comes up, it's just old fog from past experiences. It's clouding our perception of what's really happening. What's coming up?
clearing if we allow it to. Let's use a healing analogy as well. Imagine fear like an emotional toxin that's built up over time. When you begin any type of healing journey whether it's physical, emotional or spiritual all toxins need to come up to the surface before they can be cleared.
The same is true for fear. needs to rise up so that you can address it and release it. So ask yourself in the moment or even now, what fear is coming up for me right now in my relationship or in my personal life, in my business or my healing work? Is it the fear of not being enough? Is it the fear of abandonment?
Is it the fear of judgment, fear of disappointing others, fear of financial failure? And what if you could view this fear as something that's ready to be cleared from your system rather than something that's here to block you?
Right? I also want to touch upon another rarely talked about emotion, is anxiousness. Especially the anxiousness that comes from seeking approval and validation from others. So let's take a moment to look at the dynamics of support in business. Now in any business, whether you're a coach, healer or entrepreneur,
or just about anyone, course creator, business consultant, just anyone. It's natural to seek companionship, right? Support, community, mentorship. But there's a fine line between healthy support and unhealthy attachment, which can become a type of co-dependency. I've seen this often.
you like really often where you want validation from your peers, your clients, or your audience. Maybe you feel you need their approval for your work to have meaning or success. And there's nothing wrong in that. But when that desire for support turns into an over-reliance on external validation, it becomes unhealthy, right?
And so you start to feel anxious if you're not getting immediate feedback or results. You start judging yourself if one one offer tanks or one post doesn't get engagement, you know, something like that. And so you become too attached to others' opinions or outcomes. Right? So hear me out here.
So your business, your healing journey, your relationship, your personal life, finances, your health does not need constant external validation to be valuable. And you don't need to rely on constant praise or success metrics to feel secure in your work. What would it look like? Now, I want to ask you this. What would it look like if you gave yourself permission to grow?
without needing everyone else's approval. To trust that the right clients or opportunities, right outcome will come in due time. And that your work is valid and important, regardless of immediate feedback. Now this shift is crucial because it frees you from the fear of not meeting expectations, whether they are your own or others.
So it allows you to focus on the work you're doing. I really, really, this is one of the things that has changed the trajectory of my growth, my success, that I stopped focusing on, that sorry, that I allowed myself to focus on the work I'm doing. And like, it's a constant thing that needs to happen. And so if I'm doing work today, I don't stop.
if I'm not getting instant gratification today or even tomorrow, right? Or even yesterday. So if it's like a one week gone by and I haven't got any feedback, DM of a potential client, any sale, that doesn't mean that I gotta stop my work. No, I gotta keep doing it because even though, even when I get like,
let's say daily potential client DMs or daily sales, even then I will have to keep doing this work. Right? So that way I'm training my brain to understand that it's the work that needs focus and that means all your energy and whether you're not getting any pay money or whether you're getting paid or any gratification or any, you know, appraise.
That is all secondary. So all of those things doesn't define the work that I'm doing. And I'm saying that for people who really want to put their work out, who really want to do it. Because again, some of you might be thinking, well, you know, I'm doing it for money. And obviously I am a big believer of that. Like we need money. I feel, I believe that money is at the root of everything.
that we are creating out in the world, the experiences and everything. And so we require that cash flow so that we can live this life. We can enjoy things. can experience new things. So by any means, I'm not saying that if there's no cash flow, still you keep going and you keep doing the things that are not working.
That conversation is different from this one. So I hope you are with me and I hope this is making sense to you that what I'm saying is that even when you start making money, even when you start seeing the results of the work that you're putting in today, you still have to work. So right now, if you stop thinking too much about the feedback and
you know, focus on your work, that you immediately reduce the anxiousness, the uncertainty, the fear that all of your actions can bring up, right? That's the point of what I'm trying to say. Okay. Now, what if we replaced? I want to continue with the chain of thought and I want to talk about
this thing, the idea that what if we replaced fear or any other emotion that come up with real, that come up real strong for us with trust and like instead of focusing on the what ifs that make us anxious, what if we focused on trusting that the relationship will unfold as it's meant to? What if we trusted that whatever comes is for our highest good?
even if it doesn't look the way we expected. What if when we trust instead of fear, we stop clinging, we stop trying to control every outcome. We can relax and be in the moment. And this is not to say that fear will never come up again. It will. But when it does, we can remind ourselves that what's coming is clearing.
The fear is just old fog lifting. It's making way for something new, something more aligned with who we are becoming. It's trying to show me something that I haven't seen the way I should have or I wanted to before. Okay. It's trying to make me heal a certain part of myself that I haven't seen or healed before.
Right? Okay. So next segment, how do we actually deal with emotions when they start coming up? How do you see them for what they are and not let them control you? Right? And let's break it down step by step. I also wanted to like share something very personal with you people that
Again, like I said in the beginning that I my fears don't show up on the surface when it comes to my business My finances my health, know, those area are pretty sorted my fears and anxiousness and stuff All of those things come up in my relationship. And so whenever I see like
Conflict or something like my partner is in conflict or something is happening you know all of my fears and stuff down and everything comes on the surface and over the past two years I have made sure that you know, I will work on all of these things I've made sure that I work on all of these things that are coming up and not sabotaging my relationship because of something that is unhealed in me
or even unhealed in my partner. And interestingly and surprisingly, I don't know whether surprisingly or not surprisingly, but interestingly, all of these things that I've been working on and really the things that once I uncover those fears and those doubts and everything, once I uncover the feeling and I go...
deeper into understanding what's underneath. Where is this feeling? Where is this anger? resentment? Where is this self doubt coming from? I find certain beliefs, fears, certain whatever you want to call it, that not only apply to my relationship, but also to all other areas of my life. It's just that I'm able to
process them, I'm able to bring them up on the surface through my relationships. So when I'm talking about these emotions coming up on the surface for you, they might be coming up for you when you are in your business, right? Maybe like you are, you're feeling stuck when it comes to launching your offer, when it comes to selling something, when it comes to marketing something, when it comes to, you know,
taking away time from your family and kids and putting that time and effort into your business. And in those moments, all of those fears and doubts are coming up on the surface. And when you go deeper into why it is happening and what's happening and what's the underneath guilt shame that is connected, when you kind of release those...
guilt, shame, emotions from your body, from your aura, you will also find that not only does it do good to your business, but it also helps you in building your relationship with your kids or with your partner or with yourself. So what I'm trying to say is that it's not just one area of your life that is getting affected. Instead, in fact, it's like
all the areas of your life that are getting affected with these emotions that are building up inside you that are waiting to be addressed that are waiting to be released. Now in this episode I don't go into the shadow work and the inner child work. I'm only talking about the basic steps that you can take today.
to kind of allow these emotions to come on the surface and then release and really understand these emotions. But in the future episodes, I might as well be touching upon or bringing up shadow work and inagile healing to kind of really go deeper into these emotions. Okay.
So what I'm going to give you now is a step-by-step approach to regulate your emotions, to allow them to let them be free and really use them to your advantage. Okay, so step one, recognize that emotions are temporary visitors. So the first step in this process is simple. Recognize that your emotions are temporary.
When fear, sadness, anxiety, just about anything, rise up, it's easy to get caught in the idea that these feelings are permanent or define who you are. Okay? But they don't. They're just temporary visitors. Right? Think about your emotions like weather. If it's stormy outside,
You know it won't stay that way forever, right? If it's windy outside, you know it won't stay that way forever. Emotions work the same way. When intense feelings come up, remind yourself, this is just passing through. It's just sensations and it will pass. It's here to clear something. Okay?
When you view emotions as temporary, you don't get stuck in them. Instead, you allow them to rise and fall naturally, just like a wave. And this simple shift in perspective creates a sense of calm and control, even in the midst of emotional storms. Step number two, create
space for the emotion. The next step is to create space for the emotion that's coming up. Often, our first instinct when we feel uncontrollable emotions is to push them away, distract ourselves, or numb the feeling. In my case, you know what, it's a weird feeling of like feeling that I'm not in control.
that something is wrong, something is wrong and I need to control, I need to control or you know something wrong is going to happen to me and things like that. But the key to clearing these emotions is to actually allow them, see them as they are. And here's a practical way to do this. So when an intense emotion comes up, pause. Don't try to fix it.
or change it right away. And that this works really, really good for me actually. So instead, sit with it. You might say to yourself, I see this fear. I see this anxiety. I often say it like, I see you. I see you. And I know that you're a part of me.
and that you're hurt and you want to be addressed.
That's the self-talk that I do. So acknowledge the emotion without judgment. You can even invite it in, like say to the emotion, I'm willing to feel you.
When you give space to the emotions to exist, they lose their power over you. Instead of pushing them down, you are allowing them to rise to the surface where they can finally clear. And so they see you as this emotionally mature and intelligent adult who can handle these emotions, who is not scared of them.
And when the moment they see you as that, they lose their power, their control over you. Because now they know you can take care of them. They give the power to you. They give the control to you. Because now they know that you can handle it. You can take care of it. They are safe, and you are safe. Now again, this process takes practice. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but over time,
You'll notice that when you allow emotions to flow, they move through you much more quickly than when you resist them. Next step, step number three, identify the source. Is it present or past or future? Once you've created space for the emotion, the next step is to ask yourself, where is this coming from?
Is this emotion about the present moment? Is it tied to something from the past? Or is it like coming from an unnecessary worry from the future? For example, let's say fear comes up and you might feel afraid of failure in your business or worry about not being enough for your partner. Ask yourself.
Is this fear really about the situation I'm in right now or is it rooted in a past experience? Often you'll find that emotions coming up are old. They're echoes of past hurts, disappointments or experiences that made you feel small, made you feel helpless.
And by identifying the source, can see that the fear, anger, or sadness isn't necessarily about what's happening now. It's about what happened before. This recognition helps you detach from the emotion and see it for what it is. An old pattern coming up to clear. An old pattern.
that no longer serves you and is in conflict with who you want to be and who you are and wants to be addressed and wants to be released.
Now, step number four, reframe the narrative. Once you've identified the source of the emotion, it's time to reframe. This is where you can use a powerful tool, which I'm going to give you, which is all about shifting limiting beliefs. Okay. Let's say you're feeling anxiety about an upcoming
business decision, relationship, a travel trip or whatever. And it's making you feel overwhelmed. Now, the old belief might be, I'm afraid of making the wrong choice. And this fear may stem from a past experience where a decision didn't turn out well. Here's how you can reframe it. Ask yourself,
What if this fear is actually a sign that I'm stepping out of my comfort zone? What if this decision, no matter how it turns out, is helping me grow? By shifting the way you view the emotion, you start to see that what's coming up isn't here to harm you, it's here to help you evolve. Fear, for example,
might be a signal that you're about to enter new territory in your life or business. And that's exciting, right? That's pretty exciting. Okay, step number five, release through action or reflection. The final step in the clearing process is to release the emotion through some form of action or reflection.
Depending on the emotion and its intensity, different methods work for different people. So for fear or anxiety, take a small intentional action toward what's causing the fear. If you're afraid of just walking down the street, right, or launching a new product, reaching out to a new potential client,
reaching out to a new potential partner. Wow. It's funny. I'm putting it that way. take one step forward. Action. Even a small one can diffuse fear and remind you that you are in control. Okay. If you're somebody who struggles with sadness or grief,
For you, the approach could be like this. Reflection could be a very powerful tool for you. Journal about the emotion. Or talk it through with a trusted friend or a mentor. Sometimes even just naming the emotion and acknowledging it out loud can help release its grip on you.
If you're struggling with, let's say, anger or frustration, then physical movement can help. Go for a walk. Do some yoga. Do some shaking. I love shaking. love dancing and shaking out the stuck energy. know, like vigor. You can do something like running or even boxing. Right. Anger is often energy. And I know anger is like anger and resentment is something that I want to go deeper into.
but some other day of course. But like I want to say that anger is often energy, excuse me, that needs to be moved through the body and releasing it physically can be incredibly freeing. So no matter what emotion comes up, the key is to let it flow, right? And once it's acknowledged and processed, you'll find that
that the emotion begins to clear, making space for something new to emerge. All right, my friend, take a deep breath, let it all settle in. understand if there's one thing that you can take away from this episode, it's just this one simple statement. And I would love for you to apply it, try it, it.
that what's coming up is clearing. So what's coming up for you right now? Whether it's fear, doubt, or uncertainty isn't here to block you. It's here to leave. It's here to clear. You don't have to fight it. You don't have to fix it. You don't have to see it, feel it, and sorry, you just have to see it, feel it, and let it move.
you. Now this process of emotional clearing that I just gave you is one of the most powerful tools you can use in your personal growth, business, relationships or healing journey. This is the simplest process like stage one, level one actually. You can go deeper into it.
But I think that would be for the sake of this episode. Let's keep it to that. And let's not overwhelm us by how far, how deeper we can go into it. Let's take steps as they come to us. So if you're listening to this episode, that means this episode and these steps have come to you. Okay. You've manifested them. So similarly, the deeper approach.
will come to you in its own divine timing. Okay, so don't rush. Healing is not a linear path. You know, it comes to us. Just enjoy it, right? Now, as you practice the steps, you'll notice that what used to feel overwhelming now becomes manageable. In fact, you'll move through emotions with grace.
allowing them to clear as you step into new levels of freedom and success. Okay, so the next time you feel resistance bubbling up before a big step in your business, right? Understand, remember, this isn't proof that you're stuck. It's proof that you're evolving. I hope today's episode gave you a new way to approach those moments.
when that bring more trust, more ease and more freedom. And if this resonated with you, I love to hear about it. Send me a message, share your biggest takeaway or let me know what you're clearing right now. And if you want to go deeper into this work, send me a DM and let's see if we can work one on one. Awesome. Until next time, remember what's coming up is clearing. Keep going, keep trusting.
and I'll see you in the next episode.