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In this episode of The Real Retirement Show, hosts Yasmin and Kathleen, invite Debbie Elder, the owner of Shady Oaks Primary School and an education innovator for a discussion. Debbie shares her unique teaching philosophy centered around curiosity, lifelong learning and adaptability, and illustrates how these principles are applicable not only to children but also to those entering their retirement years. She advocates for maintaining an open mind, planning ahead, and being intentional about ...
In this episode of The Real Retirement Show, hosts Yasmin and Kathleen, invite Debbie Elder, the owner of Shady Oaks Primary School and an education innovator for a discussion. Debbie shares her unique teaching philosophy centered around curiosity, lifelong learning and adaptability, and illustrates how these principles are applicable not only to children but also to those entering their retirement years. She advocates for maintaining an open mind, planning ahead, and being intentional about one’s actions and decisions. Simultaneously, she stresses the importance of self-awareness, pursuing passion, and living a life that is rich with curiosity, wonder, and joy. At Shady Oaks Primary School, children are empowered with life skills that would typically be perceived as beyond their capacity - like financial literacy, entrepreneurship, and empathy. Her purpose is to instill not just academic learning, but to ignite a lifelong passion for discovery and growth in her students. The educators at Debbie's school create an environment that encourages being childlike, fostering vulnerability, authenticity, and exploration, a perspective she encourages adults stepping into retirement to embrace. The conversation also touches upon the importance of building self-esteem, resilience, and maintaining a positive outlook during transitions later in life.
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About Debbie Elder
Debbie Elder is the owner of Shady Oak Primary School in Richmond, Texas. She is a best-selling author, international speaker, grandmother of 4, and loves to read anything on business or education! Her TEDx talk “Your Child Is Redundant “can be found on YouTube.
Shady Oaks Primary School: https://shadyoakprimary.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@shadyoakprimaryschool2418
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shadyoakprimary/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/shadyoakprimary
Books Mentioned: Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards
Real Retirement Video Podcast: Real Retirement - YouTube
Welcome to "Real Retirement," a groundbreaking podcast where your hosts, Yasmin Nguyen and Kathleen Mundy, delve into the multifaceted world of retirement beyond the numbers. This isn't your typical retirement discussion; it's a vibrant journey into what retirement truly means in today's world.
Each episode of "Real Retirement" brings you compelling conversations with guests who bring a wealth of expertise and authentic retirement life experiences. Our goal? To inspire and educate our listeners to approach retirement with intentionality and a broader perspective.
But "Real Retirement" is more than just a podcast. It's a community for those navigating the uncharted waters of retirement, whether you're just starting to plan or are already on this deeply personal journey. We explore a wide array of topics, including:
What sets "Real Retirement" apart? It's our commitment to authenticity. We bring you real stories from real retirees, discussing real challenges, surprises, joys, heartaches, and the myriad emotions that come with retirement. From addressing family dynamics to confronting identity shifts, we tackle the issues that truly matter to retirees.
Join Yasmin and Kathleen as they journey through the honest and often unspoken aspects of retirement. "Real Retirement" isn't just about ending a career; it's about beginning a new, exciting chapter of life with all its complexities and joys. Tune in and be part of a conversation that redefines retirement in the most real way possible.
we do a grandparents day every
year and seven years ago, we decided to
do it a little different and we had a
panel and we were so fortunate that year.
We had Grandparents from
Italy that had grown up there.
We had grandparents from Canada,
from the States, from Mexico, and
they all talked about their childhood
and what their experiences had
been when they were the same age
as our students were at that time.
And so they really got to step into that.
And our students were fascinated
by what they heard, but also, and I
remember distinctly one little girl
saying, You said you liked all these
things, why don't you do them now?
And the woman's face was,
she was almost in tears.
She had gotten so caught up in caring
for her children and caring for her
husband and doing her duties that
she forgot to take care of her.
And that young child evoked in
her a passion that she was able to
then go and ignite when she left.
And I thought, wow, so out of the gift in
the mouths of babes comes so much wisdom.
Yasmin: Welcome back to
The Real Retirement Show.
My name is Yasmin, here
with my co host Kathleen.
Whether you're retired or thinking about
retirement, we delve into the multifaceted
world of retirement beyond the finances.
This isn't your typical
retirement discussion.
It's a vibrant journey into what
retirement truly means in today's world.
We bring you real stories from real
retirees and experts discussing real
retirement challenges, surprises,
joys, heartaches, And the myriad of
emotions that come with retirement from
addressing family dynamics, to mental
and physical health, to finding purpose.
We tackle the issues that truly
matter to retirees and those
thinking about retirement.
Have you ever wondered what a
third grade child could teach
an adult about retirement?
Well, today our special guest is
Debbie Elder, a bestselling author.
TEDx speaker and the owner of Shady
Oaks Primary School in Richmond, Texas.
Now, this isn't your
typical elementary school.
Imagine stepping into a world where
grade school students are publishing
books, building startup ventures,
generating revenue, making shark tank like
business pitches, practicing gratitude
and empathy, producing holiday shows.
And presenting at city commissioner's
meetings, to name a few.
Education here transcends the
traditional, where a child's journey
isn't just about learning to read and
write, but about igniting a lifelong
passion for discovery and growth.
In this episode, Debbie discusses
the importance of life enriched with
curiosity, Lifelong learning and
adaptability, values that she instills
in her elementary school students.
She describes how these principles
are applicable not just in childhood,
but also in retirement years.
She advocates for maintaining
an open mind, planning ahead,
and being intentional about
one's actions and decisions.
She also shares her beliefs in
the necessity of self awareness,
giving oneself permission to pursue
passion and living a life of joy.
Debbie encourages retirees to
approach their golden years like a
childhood, with a sense of wonder and
curiosity, exploring their passions
and remaining open to new experiences.
Let's join our conversation.
Based on your experience in your,
perspective on this , how is the journey
of a grade school child similar to someone
who may be going through retirement?
Debbi: it's funny that you asked
that because All of my friends
are retired, with the exception of
very few, and very many people say
to me, Why are you still working?
It's crazy.
You should be retired.
Your husband's been
retired for three years.
But I truly love the experience I get
daily with my students, and What it
is about them that I think we need to
remember to take into retirement is that
curiosity, that love of learning, that
opportunity to explore and to see things
through new eyes, and I think one of
the reasons why I am not retired yet is
And I shared this with you several years
ago, Yasmin, when I did a presentation
on the five phases of retirement and the
different phases that you go through it.
It's a journey.
It's just like grief.
It's not to compare it to grief.
I don't mean it that way, but it is
a journey that we go through because
it's a releasing of an identity.
and a replacement with something else.
And if you're not prepared to do that
and haven't done your thinking and don't
have a heightened level of self awareness
and an opportunity to reflect daily on
what your needs are moving forward, you
can get yourself into a position that I
know many people have where you end up in
retirement very, very unhappy not ready.
I have two of my staff members and I
have a small staff, just ten, who have
returned to me from retirement because
they got into retirement and it didn't
fulfill the needs that they wanted.
So knowing all of that gives us a
different spin on how we teach our
students is to ensure that they go
through every different phase and
stage of their life fully prepared
to step in and ask the questions and
find the answers to allow them to
really excel in every different session
of their life that they go through.
So I think it's a matter of preparation
and having habits that really lend to
your ability to really Sort of set your
path in a manner that allows you to have a
little bit of say and control as to what's
coming up knowing that that's going to
meet needs that you've identified and I
think part of the problem is it's like we
Some people raise children where we become
very reactive as opposed to responsive
because we haven't thought through what
the next stage of their development is
going to look like And so we're playing
catch up instead of leading the way.
And so being leaders in our
lives takes some effort.
And I think, Allowing people to understand
the steps and that the opportunity is
available for them to truly lead and
to not be that leaf in the wind that's
just blowing whichever way it goes,
but that knowing you can have a say in
the direction you want to walk through
really is exhilarating and really helps
people to grab hold of what it is that
they want in life and make it happen.
Ka: You know, Debbie, one of the
things that I was really impressed about
when Yasmin first described your school,
to me was, the inability, for retirees
when they're moving into that chapter and
trying to plan, just as you're outlining
is an important thing for your, curriculum
is to teach planning and preparedness,
is the resistance to be vulnerable.
And I think that's one of the
bright sides of being a child.
You're just so vulnerable.
You're just like a little sponge.
You just take in everything and
there aren't as many roadblocks yet.
And so I want to know if we can
talk about some of those roadblocks
a little bit, because I too have
experienced, some friends and some,
Acquaintances that are not as happy in
retirement, quite frankly, that's why
Yasmin and I have this whole project,
is that we want people to be joyful
within this next, final two or three
chapters that they have in their life.
And so if you could just,
expand on that a little bit.
Mm
Debbie: So, one of the things
that we started doing with our
students is a reflection journal.
And every day, at the end of the day, we
ask them to relate two things that went
really well for them that day and why.
And two areas that they either need to
augment or can improve upon, or didn't
quite work out the way they wanted.
And the level of self awareness and self
reflection doing this journaling has
really taken them to a whole different
level where they truly understand
themselves at a much deeper level and,
an ability to express that and to have
empathy, which is really important
to me for others, because when you
understand that there's days that don't
always work out the way you want, you
can have empathy for the person who's
struggling, which with their day.
We also end each day
with a compliment circle.
So I am a nurt heart trained trainer.
And the nurtured heart approach
talks about the ability to
recognize the greatness in others
and to always be looking for that.
And so our students are equipped,
trained, and made aware of looking for the
greatness in everyone else in their class.
So at the end of the day, when we
have our compliment circle, they
have the ability to recognize the
greatness in the person next to them.
Even though they don't know
who that's going to be, or what
direction the circle is going to go.
And what that allows them to do is
to always look for what's great.
So if I was to ask you and our audience
right now to look around the room
that you're in and find everything
that is red, and you were to find all
that for me, and then I was to ask you
to close your eyes and simply recall
everything in the room that is blue,
You'd be like, yeah, that's not fair.
You said red.
And what happens is the red gets big
and bold and bright and everything
else kind of fades into the background.
And that's what happens when you look for
greatness is everything else fades to the
background and you really get to hone in
on what's amazing about the individuals
that you work with, play with and be with.
And then being able to put into
words, specifically, what it is
about them that you really like.
And so we use a template that starts
with, Today I noticed, and then what they
noticed, and what that tells me about you
is, and then we insert a character trait.
So for example, Today I noticed
when I was on the playground and I
fell, you saw that I hurt myself and
you quickly went inside and got an
ice pack for me and brought it out.
And what that tells me about you is
you're so observant and such a great
friend and that you care for me.
Thank you.
And that's way different than an
atavoid drive by, uh, like your hair.
And so it really gives them a tool and
equipped that they can speak to others
and heighten their relationships.
We're also going through Vanessa
Van Anderhood's book right now
called Cues, which talks about micro
facial, movements, body language.
How to connect with others.
How to really ensure
that you have charisma.
What does charisma involve?
An equal opportunity for
competence and warmth.
And what does that look like?
And what are some words that you can use?
What do your emails look like
when you're really expressing
charisma through your emails?
How do you ensure that
you're communicating?
and in really expressing yourself
in a way that you want to be heard
and my kids are eating it up.
And so we started that presentation with
the discussion of Shark Tank and talking
about when the gentleman who had developed
the ring, which is the ability to ring
a doorbell and you can see who it is.
He went in, already a billionaire, with
so many sales, and none of the sharks
invested in him because he broke so
many micro expressions and body cues.
And so I explained that to my students
day one, we talked about that story.
And then three weeks later, I played
the video for them, and we had talked
about different ways to identify
those micro cues and what they were.
And they were able to identify and
list everything that he had sort of
done wrong, if you will, or that he
could have changed or kind of, yeah,
presented incorrectly, which is a very
unique way to assess understanding and
to assess that they truly Thank you.
Understand what we're teaching and
of course cues is a book written
for adults, but these eight through
ten year olds were able to observe
and take in the information based
on the way it was given to them.
So, think about that.
10 decades down the road, and now you're
80, you still have those same abilities.
You still have the opportunity and
the drive to go and learn new things.
And I think retirement is such an
opportunity to revisit passions and.
Things that really excited you that you
might not have had a chance to explore in
the same amount of depth that you wanted
to when you were under the pressures of
raising a family and working full time.
And so I want to really share with
our retirees and our upcoming retirees
that this is such a great opportunity
for you to be childlike to go back to
exploring areas that really, interest
you that you might not have had a
chance to dig into and to really.
Allow yourself to be free and, To be
childlike and to just be vulnerable, like
you mentioned, and authentic and be you.
Yasmin: That's powerful.
for those who haven't.
gotten a chance to get to know you.
Could you share with us a little
bit of backstory about your
school and how it's different
from others and also your journey?
how did this all come about?
'cause I know you had a different
profession earlier on in your career.
Debbie: I sure did.
So, I started out as a police officer
in Ottawa, Canada, my hometown.
And then I moved to Calgary where
I worked at a young offender center
and I ran the disciplinary unit for
males between the ages of 12 and 18
who had committed very serious crimes.
crimes that in An adult prison would
probably have given them life sentences.
Though, these were some
pretty serious young adults.
And what I learned working with
them is that we are all bigger
victims than we ever victimized.
These young men were And it had
such terrible lives to that point.
They were strictly trying to survive.
And so being able to find that piece
of empathy for them and to truly
identify with what their skill sets
were and to help them become who
they needed to be was really cool
invitation for me at such a young age.
I also became the labor
relations coordinator at the
jail and that's when I learned.
At the ripe old age of 25 that
not everybody thought like me.
It was a pretty interesting
observation to have when I started
to be the liaison between the union.
And the administration and the
administration and the staff
and the staff of the union.
So I kind of was in on anything
that was going on in the jail.
I was brought in as the person to mediate
what was happening and to really try
to understand different perspectives.
So it was quite a, an interesting
journey for, uh, at that point,
a very young, naive woman to be
given the opportunity to step into.
I then had my first daughter
Natasha and stayed home with her.
I did a little bit of probation
work, but very quickly decided that
I didn't want to put her in daycare,
and I didn't like just being at home.
I needed more, and so I convinced my
engineering husband that we should be
therapeutic foster parents, and what
that meant was that we took into our
home young women between the ages of
12 and 18 who had very severe behavior
issues, several of which I picked up
at the jail that I used to work at.
And they would come and live in our home.
We started as an assessment home.
Because of my background, my job was to
have the children live with us for four
months and assess where they should go.
The first young lady that lived with
us, her mother lived across the tree
farm, so my home backed on to a tree
farm in Calgary, and she was behind
us, which is very unusual to live
that close to your foster family.
And my recommendation was that
this young lady stay with us.
It was turned down because that
was not the role that my home had.
And several years later, I had my
second daughter, and I was up in
the middle of the night, changing
her diaper and staying with her.
And I had the TV on, and
Sally Jessie Raphael was on.
You may have remembered her show.
And the next person to come on stage was
a pregnant prostitute, who turned out
to be my very first, foster daughter.
And that at that point was, yeah,
it was really hard because I know
we had such an opportunity to
change that young woman's life.
We had 38 different
foster girls live with us.
The last couple stayed for
an extended period of time.
With social media now, we're able to
keep in touch with them and connect
again, which has been very cool.
And I was able to change.
I kind of fought the legislature
on the, way that they had
our foster home designated.
And so we were able to keep, the last
couple of girls for a much longer period
of time and really make a difference.
So that was pretty exciting.
We then were moved to Ireland,
where we lived in Cork for about
10 months before moving to Houston.
When I got to Houston, I worked at
a preschool for a couple of years.
one of my daughters attended there.
When she finished, I left and ended
up speaking nationally, training
teachers on classroom management,
behavior management, classroom
techniques and styles and ways to teach.
I also started to homeschool my daughters,
which I did until they went to college.
during that time I opened.
14 different middle and high schools.
We also schooled 14 additional
kids in our home daily for 5 years.
so doing all of that was pretty exciting.
Running those schools was, eye opening
and they were accelerated learning
programs, so we were able to teach kids
ways to complete school much quicker.
So, for example, my daughters did
what's called a 2 plus 2 plus 2.
So, 2 years in high school.
Two years at a junior college, two years
at a four year college, which still
allowed my daughters to graduate the same
year as valedictorian and salutatorian
at the college that they had attended.
And so that was an awesome experience.
I then became a college
planner where I helped.
Get their children into college and
prepare their kids to be successful in
college before embarking on the journey.
I'm on now, which is working
with elementary school students.
I've had my school for 9 years and we
serve kinder through 5th grade and our.
Really enjoying what we do, and making
changes, and really significantly
impacting our community with the
voices of children and giving them
the opportunity to have a stage to
share their ideas and their thoughts.
So, that's me.
Kathleen: that's all I can say.
Wow, wow.
I love the fact that you've, really
outlined the possibilities in life
and you've never held back for
lack of confidence, which is great.
And I, there's a word that you said
earlier that I think really, is enhanced
by your journey and that's curiosity.
And always wanting to see
what's around the corner.
How can I improve things?
What's happening with
this particular person?
How can I alter their life?
And I certainly sense a tremendous
amount of applicable, Theories or
actions that you utilize with your
students and how those could really
help with the transitions later in life.
And I think that because sometimes,
people are pigeonholed through their
career and don't have the courage
to do what you did, and learn more
about you, you have an extensive
understanding about the human nature.
of people and understand the
psychology of why they do
things and how they can change.
Those principles are absolutely essential
when you're trying to transition
from what was perhaps a career,
sometimes not always your choice.
it's certainly the case with boomers,
because quite frankly, many of them
were thrust into careers that were
chosen by either a guidance counselor
or perhaps their parents, and they
took that path for a number of years
and now they lack the opportunity to
allow themselves to be open minded.
To the curiosity that you've demonstrated
in your story, hopefully leaders
helping people through this transition,
how can we ignite that curiosity
again and help them understand that
open mindedness will open doors?
Oh,
Debbie: So there's an exercise
that I teach, both the corporate
employees that I train and also my own
students, and it's called a wish list.
And what I have noticed over the years
is people know what they don't want.
But it's very difficult for them
to identify what they do want.
And when you engage in this exercise,
it helps you to identify that.
So if you imagine that Aladdin has
come in the door and he's put his
lamp down and you rub the lamp and out
comes the genie and she says, Oh no,
we're not doing three wishes today.
Today you get 101.
The caveat is you need to write them down.
And so I would invite all of our
viewers to take this challenge
to write down 101 wishes.
And I'll tell you what's going to happen
because I've been doing this now for
about 40 years is the first 30 to 35
are going to be very materialistic.
Unless it's right after Christmas
and then it's just hard.
But it tends to be things that you want.
You want a new house, you want a new car,
you want landscaping, you want a pool.
What do you want?
Write it down.
After you write down those things,
now you have to really go deep.
Where do you want to travel?
Who do you want to spend time with?
How do you want to spend your days?
What excites you?
What do you want to learn about?
And you've got to go really
deep and dig into those.
And then I want you to finish that You
get 101 things written down, you fold
up your paper, you put it into your
drawer, and you let it sit for two weeks.
Because now you've activated your
particular activated system, right?
You've allowed it to say, these are
the things I want, go find them.
Because I bought a car a couple years
ago, and I'm not really a vehicle person.
So I got this car, I didn't even know
it existed before I purchased it.
Guess what I saw?
Every stoplight, everywhere
I went, that vehicle.
I'd never seen it before
because my reticular activated
system was aware of it.
So when you allow yourself to
think big, to decide what it is
you want, opportunities become
available to you that you can act on.
In two weeks, when you open that list
back up, ten of the items that you've
written down will have manifested.
And then you can work
towards manifesting the rest.
You're also going to notice on
that list is it's a great precursor
to setting SMART goals because
categories are going to emerge.
You're going to see areas, Oh, these
are the places I want to travel.
These are the skill sets I want to learn.
These are the people I
want to spend time with.
And then you can work towards putting
a plan of action so that you can attain
exactly what it is that you want.
So I think that using that system.
Has helped many of my students.
We all do it here on campus, but
it's also helped many, many people
around the country to get very clear
on what it is they, that they want.
And there's another, opportunity
that I would also challenge our
listeners to perhaps think about.
And that is writing a letter
to yourself for the future.
So think about, you know, people
talk about writing your obituary.
This is a little different.
so, for example, my teachers.
In September, before we start school,
we'll write a very detailed letter
to themselves that they will open in
May that outlines the school year.
And they get right into the nitty
gritty about what the classes are
going to look like, how the students
are going to get along, how they're
going to respond, what kind of level
of respect, everything that they want.
And they're always shocked when they open
that letter in May and read the truth.
Because that's what happened.
And so I think we have a lot more
ability to control what we want in
our retirement, if we would really
give ourselves the opportunity to
think it through, and to work through.
I'm a big believer in masterminds.
I know Yasmin and I have talked about it.
I've been in several and being able
to be with a group of people that
will not only hold you accountable,
but will also hold you accountable.
Work is hard to solve your challenges
and overcome things that are working
in your world that you need to
deal with and address, as you will,
just gives you access to four or
five different brain power that
can really accelerate your ability.
So if you're thinking that
perhaps Retirement is something
you're going to be entering into.
Getting together with like minded
people to really talk about how
you can support each other in this
next new exciting phase of life.
I mean, it should not be somewhere
where we go To just retire.
It's such an opportunity to sort
of dig into the, wonderfulness
of everything that we've done to
prepare ourselves for this moment.
I remember distinctly having a
conversation with my uncle when I
was in my late teens and saying,
I think the world is backwards.
I think I should retire until I'm 45.
And then I'll work it off.
I'll pay it back because now I'm young.
I have lots of energy.
I can travel places.
I think we have it backwards
and I still adhere to that.
I'm just not sure how to
make the logistics work yet,
Yasmin: I think I'm
practicing that, Debbie.
I I'm like, wait a minute.
That's exactly kinda what I'm doing here.
but Debbie, you know the time that I've
gotten a chance to get to know you,
I think that I could summarize and.
Three words, more than three words, but
I'll just choose three words is first of
all, is intentional, second is awareness.
And the third is possibilities.
I think those are three essential,
elements to really take with us
during our retirement journey.
And especially around possibilities.
I really think you're an ambassador
of possibilities because when you
told me that your grade school kids.
wrote books during the summer when you've
shared with me that they did a whole shark
tank experience they've produced holiday
shows, all the things that you've, shared
I'm just like, is that even possible?
And of course you've made it possible.
And so I'm curious if you would share
with some of our audience, what are some
of those seemingly impossible things
for a grade school child, that you've
helped them experience and how can we
explore those possibilities as a retiree?
De: Well, I'm a, a big supporter
of a group here in Houston.
I'm sure they're everywhere, but it's
retired entrepreneurs that will meet with
you and help you to build your business.
And they've been very
helpful to me over the years.
And.
As I've realized, so I grew up in
a very government town, Ottawa.
Everybody works for the government.
I didn't even know what the word
entrepreneur was until I was much older
and I wanted to really introduce my
students to the opportunities of jobs
that their parents and their parents
friends might not be in because we tend
to be exposed only to a limited amount.
And so we do regular feasts.
We have.
Tend to have 5 or 6 a year, and each
time we bring in a guest speaker,
and Yasmin has been a speaker for us
in the past, doing things that our
regular parents, our current group
don't do so that they can understand.
I've had engineers come in who
have left engineering to become
musicians who gig on a regular basis.
And what does that transition look like?
And that, You know, you can be an
engineer, but you can also play
the guitar and just making them
aware of all the opportunities.
We also do, as Yasmin was alluding to, we
have an opportunity in the fall to teach
our students during Genius Afternoon,
which is an idea I shamelessly stole from
Google, where they give their employees
5 percent of their work week time to
look and think about other things.
We do the same here.
So first semester, the students
are taught Friday mornings.
financial literacy, and then
the afternoons they're given.
an hour and a half to really dive into
anything they want to learn about.
So this fall we had
kids learn about bamboo.
They were really interested in that.
We had other kids learn
about how air tanks work.
Other kids were figuring
out World War II airplanes.
Another group were trying to
determine how to make the best fudge.
Another group was learning magic tricks.
It didn't matter.
They had a plan.
They had to come up with a timeline
on how they were going to complete.
Their plan, what was their end
presentation going to be, a PowerPoint,
a diorama, a show, and then they
had the opportunity to present to
us, and they did an amazing job of
managing their time, coming up with
ways to research, and then producing.
Now that we're into our second semester,
They have been tasked with getting ready
for a bazaar where they will come up
with a widget and that they will sell.
And so they, come up with an
idea, then they decide do they
want to work as a solopreneur,
in a partnership, or with a team.
They form those, they come up with
an idea that they then present to
their first Shark Tank, and the
students will give them feedback.
Then they make a prototype that they
then present again to the Shark Tank and
they get feedback and they have to share
with us at that moment what it costs to
make one of their items so we can work
on pricing and figure out profitability.
Then they write an angel investment
letter to procure funds to allow
them to produce their supplies.
Then they go into production.
About the third week of April, we'll
talk about how to best display their,
Where's if you will, and how they're
going to package them for sale.
And then we have our bazaar the
first week in May in the community
where they earn real money.
So last year, our top
producer earned 1, 138.
in the third grade selling
her artwork, which is so cool.
Before she got her money though,
we paid back her angel investor
and she produced for me a profit
and loss sheet and a balance sheet.
So they're very aware of the effort that
goes into being a successful entrepreneur.
And it's very interesting always
the day of the sale because they're,
they're always watching to see who
seems to have a lot of buzz around the
table and who's making lots of sales.
And typically only to find out the
next day when we sort of get down to
business and look at profit and loss
that they were very busy that day
perhaps, but their costs were much more.
than the person who actually
made the most profit.
They had a lot of revenue, but so it's
just a really great opportunity for
them to really live it, feel it, do it.
And we've heard back from our students,
who are now our alumni, where that type
of hands on learning is just so sticky
that they were able to take it forward.
And I think with the amount
of opportunities that we have
now to learn through YouTube.
Google, there's just so many ways that
we, as adults, can learn new things.
I really want to encourage our audience
to be thinking about, just like these
young students have learned financial
literacy, have learned how to market,
have learned how to Ask for money.
What are some things that we
as adults who are getting ready
to step into the next phase?
Maybe you've always wanted
to learn more about wines.
Maybe it's time to go to Italy and learn
about how to prepare Italian feasts.
Like what is it that really
you are passionate about that?
You've kind of put on the back burner
that you now have a chance to open
up revisit And dive into and to give
yourself permission to think like a child,
because whatever you want is possible.
We've learned that we've
taught that to our students.
We've given them a voice to go and speak
to our commissioners in our city to
give a presentation at a commissioners
meeting in front of 75, 000 people.
Adults of the community to ask for the
opportunity to paint the asphalt out
front of our school to allow traffic
slow down to keep children safe.
Now, we weren't given
permission to do that.
There was an ordinance in town that
didn't allow it, but they were heard.
They felt validated.
They put the prep time in.
And They knew, even though they were
10 years old, that the adult in this
community would hear them out and listen
to them and give them the opportunity
to speak their truth, and I think that
is something that we forget as we grow
older, and maybe there's areas where We
can allow our elderly to work with our
children and to really share that wisdom
and to allow our children to help maybe
with that perspective of understanding
new technology and that, sort of curiosity
that they have and if, adults will go
into the situation, valuing what the
child has to offer, they're going to
learn a lot about Thank you so much.
just the innocence and the, opportunities
that lie before them to rejuvenate
them and to give them a sense of hope.
And, I think sometimes we can get a little
crusty and we get kind of beaten down.
And one of the reasons why I work with
children is they remind me every day that.
Life is great and there's so much
joy in just seeing a butterfly or
catching a ball that you didn't think
you could catch or learning a math.
Problem and being able to do it and making
continual strides towards perfection in
areas that you're trying to gather I think
as we get older we stop doing those things
and being around children allows me.
To be reminded daily that there
is so much growth that I still
can value and participate in and
I I'm very thankful for that.
K: I'm just going to add to this
if I can at this point, Yasmin and I
have spoken to hundreds of retirees and
much of what you're explaining right
now is what we have become aware of.
The need for them not to decide they can't
do something or I'm too old to do that
or my health prevents me from doing that.
And actually Yasmin and I.
met at a mastermind class, so
I'm totally on board with that.
And, further to that, I loved that
accountability is always a piece.
And so your students have
that accountability piece
built into the curriculum.
But as we exit our career,
it's amazing to me.
How much financial literacy is required,
especially if one spouse has been kind
of the caretaker of all the finances,
and then, are left with a group of
people who are a little insecure.
I'm too old to learn this, which
is absolutely not the case.
And I love the fact that you've
explained it as well as you have about
the open mindedness that children have
and the acceptance that they have.
And I hear you speak about the optimism
that children have and the expectation
that they will get the opportunity to
explore different things that otherwise
they might not in a normal curriculum,
So, I'm so thrilled that we had this
conversation and continue to do so,
because I really truly believe that
what you're explaining can transition
so effortlessly to our retirement.
I'm like high five.
I think, too, that, um, I know
for me, I have daily practices that
allow me, because we are programmed,
I believe, physically to be on alert,
on guard, looking for the negative,
making sure we're safe, in a survival
mode, and in order to overcome
that, it has to be very intentional.
And I think As we get older, and as I
just observe, the people that I know
as they've grown older, we can get a
little cynical, and we can get a little
set in our ways, and I think in order to
continue to have that sense of curiosity
and wonder needs to be intentional, and
there's, there's certain things, and
you call it scenario writing, we call
it scripting, but it's the same, right?
it's getting up, it's keeping
a gratitude journal, Yeah.
Yeah.
So I keep many journals and being
grateful for the things that I have.
We end each day with a compliment
circle, as I mentioned, to allow
our students to continue to look
for the greatness in others.
And I think that's something
that can easily be done.
in a home setting.
having family meetings and really
talking to your spouse about what's
important and setting time to truly
look at, like, we spend months, years
sometimes planning our weddings, but very
little time talking about our marriage.
So I'm thinking with retirement,
there's such an opportunity for those
conversations to happen and to explore
with your significant other what
it is that you want moving forward.
And to be open to, being willing to,
to try new things and to give yourself
credit for things that you know.
You have so much to, to share with others.
Maybe it's time to write your book.
Maybe it's time to do your podcast or
to start a YouTube channel, but there's
things that you can offer, things
that, maybe scare you a little bit.
Like, get out there and do something a
little on the edge that gives you a little
thrill and it makes you feel alive and
that you can be proud of when you finish.
And I think not challenging
ourself really, really hurts us.
It really removes that, opportunity
to really shine and to show
ourselves just how wonderful we are.
And I think it's great to hear it
from others, but we have to truly
believe it for it to resonate with us.
Yasmin: we're in a time in our
lives, Debbie, that, we're so rich in
possibilities and resources that we
don't have to go on this journey alone.
We don't have to try to figure it out.
You know, part of our mission with
our joyful retirement project and
this, podcast and everything that we
do is to invite people to discover
possibilities and opportunities to.
Collaborate and work with each other
and learn and support one another.
And, and I think that's part of the
richness that we get a chance to
experience is to expand beyond our own
experience and our own possibilities.
And so I love that you foster and
inspire an ecosystem, a community in,
at the stage of your children's lives
that, that really, foster that type of
collaboration beyond just themselves.
Kathleen: And I would think that
once you have that, once you've
gained the skill in order to do
that, that's now going to be your M.
O.
for the rest of your life.
Debb: our hope that we're, yeah,
we're instilling success strategies.
We do, project based learning.
So our learning covers all
areas of our curriculum.
And I think project based learning can
easily step into retirement, right?
It's where you decide something
you're going to, maybe you've
always thought about deep sea
fishing, but you've never done it.
So maybe it's time to do some research,
to find some other people that like
to do that, to rent a boat, to go get
a guide, and just go experience it.
So how do you step into that new part
of you with everything you have, right?
Where you're like kind of all in.
And when we do the project based
learning, it allows our students
to see how in the real world, When
you decide to do something, it
touches all aspects of your life.
It's not just in math class,
because that's very unrealistic.
And it's so 130 years ago when they set
up the educational system to get people
ready to work in the factories to produce
the wages they were trying to produce.
We're not doing that anymore.
And so we've got to continue to learn
new ways to be in this new world.
And I think there's so much wisdom
in our baby boomers, in our people
that are heading into retirement,
that needs to be given back.
To the rest of us, and that would
be a great way for people to really
identify, you know, what are some of
the life lessons that they've learned
and how can they put those into a comic
book for kids or a funny movie or an.
Animated comic strip.
I don't know, but there's so many things
that in a mastermind working together,
collaborating, and what I love about
collaboration is in order to be a good
collaborator, you've got to show up being
able to address and share your skill set.
Therefore, you need to
know what those are.
And so I would encourage all of
our listeners to take some time
over the next couple of days to
write down what are you good at?
What are your strengths?
what are things that
you bring to the table?
Because you're here for a purpose, and
we all deserve to have Access to the
best you and so I believe strongly that
your job is to procure that and to bring
it out so that we get to all benefit
from what you were put on this earth
to bring and I think that that allows
us to really all get better at what we
do and to produce a better existence
for everyone and so if you haven't
had an opportunity to do that yet in
retirement now you've got time, you've
got an opportunity to really dig in you
Kathl: feel so compelled because
so much of what you're saying
really ties in beautifully with
what we know seniors and retirees
need and what you've just explained
would really help with self esteem.
Because when that transition happens
and they sell their company or, change
their career or retire, and some people
are, into retirement, not by choice.
And, so they seem to lose their,
worth, their self esteem and they
flounder a little bit with confidence.
And so doing that, task
would really help build that.
Back when it's the most needed thing,
because if you don't have that, you
can't walk across to a room and introduce
yourself in a new social setting.
You can't say, I always wanted to paint.
So I'm going to go find a teacher
and I'm going to take lessons.
It's.
Really a stumbling block.
it prohibits so much growth if you
don't have that self confidence.
So that's, a wonderful tool
that you've just explained.
D: Well, I think it's something,
too, that we need to be aware
of and to start thinking about.
Now, you can't wake up the day you've
decided you're retired and think
you're going, it's like when I used
to talk to my college students.
You can't walk onto a college
campus and be endowed with all the
responsibility and the self esteem
and the self awareness that you need
to be a successful college student.
You need to work on that before you go.
And I think we really need to
look at stepping into retirement.
with some acknowledgement that there
is some work to do before you do
that in order to enjoy it fully.
It's not, we do a great job
for the most part of putting
together funds for retirement.
That seems to be what everybody talks
about, but nobody really talks about
what they're going to do with those funds
other than Well, I'm not here to survive.
I'm here to thrive.
And so what does that look like for me?
And I've struggled with that.
And Yasmin and I have had several
discussions where I'm like, I don't
know what I want to do when I grow up.
This is hard.
But it's, it's really, it's good
to have those conversations.
It's good for me to observe what others
are doing and I need to journal it.
Maybe I'm getting old
to write down things.
I'm like, Oh, I really
enjoyed when I did that.
Right?
So I'll go and be a judge for a
high school DECA competition and
just get so much joy out of watching
these young adults, try to pitch
me on their marketing skills.
Right?
And so how do I take that feeling
and reproduce it in other areas?
That would also bring me
the same amount of joy.
And I think that.
Yeah.
Knowing what brings you joy is a big
handicap for a lot of people because
they're just not sure and so identifying
that is Yeah, and I think that's where
our friends and our mastermind groups
and our social circles can really
help us To determine what those are
and we go through different phases
things that you know really Enticed
me in my 20s Not so much anymore.
and being able to recognize
that and say, it's okay.
And to move on to the next phase,
but to be awareness is, important.
And like you said, self esteem,
my belief is it comes from what
you do, not from what others say.
You have to feel it.
It has to be internal.
And so one of the things that we do with
our students here who may be struggling
is to really almost hold like a stake.
In the ground that says you're
going to get here and I'm
going to hold this for you.
I believe in you so strongly that
I'm going to help you get here
that unquavering belief that you
believe in them so much allows them
to fail and to get back up and to
have grit and to have perseverance.
We're reading a book right now called
Fall Down Seven Times Get Up Eight.
Which is just about that ability to
be someone who has that perseverance
and willingness to see the goal and
get over, get under, get around any
challenge in their way to get there.
And that comes with when you've been
beaten down, when academics may be
difficult for you because you're
dyslexic or you have ADD or ADHD or
whatever your challenges are, learning
that there's ways around it can really
feed that feeling of self esteem.
That they need to be able to persevere
through the challenges that we face.
And I think as a person who is now ending
Maybe their career and stepping into a
different phase, being aware of those
and how do I take those great skill sets
that I have and turn around and serve and
being a servant leader in their community
can really make a big difference.
It can help to feed that feeling of
need and recognition and being a part
of something bigger than themselves.
Because I think that's another thing.
And a lot of people are able to meet that
need through volunteer work or maybe,
joining their church or their place of
worship to be able to feed that need.
But really there's so many other
opportunities that you can do.
You just need to, have some fun with it
and to be willing to, to try some new
things and to, to, Really pay attention to
what brings you a sense of light and joy
and happiness and that you deserve that.
And I think that's the other thing too is
that to know that this is your mission.
Go get it.
It's right there.
you want?
Kathle: And it sounds to me like
what you're doing in organizing things
the way you've just outlined is that
you're really building the legacy
that you want to have as a reminder of
where you were, who you were, and what
you accomplished in life for others.
I think that sometimes legacy is wrapped
around finances, and not necessarily
activities or what you've given in life.
And I love that you've, outlined that.
Yasmin,
fan of you and your mission, the
work that you do with the children, you're
leaving a tremendous legacy that you
are shaping so many lives and the future
and, the ripple effect is, profound.
And so I'm just so grateful that.
you're here with us to share this wisdom.
and I do have one final question
to ask you if, unless Kathleen
has anything else to ask is.
Kat: there's so much I'd like to
say, but we only have so much time.
So yes,
if you were to have your students
in a room sitting in front of a group of
retirees and seniors, what advice would
your students share with, their guests?
Well, it's so funny you ask that
because, probably seven years ago, we
do a grandparents day every year and
seven years ago, we decided to do it
a little different and we had a panel
and the grandparents talked about, and
we had, we were so fortunate that year.
We had Grandparents from
Italy that had grown up there.
We had grandparents from Canada, from
the States, from Mexico, and they all
talked about their childhood and what
their experiences had been when they
were the same age as our students
were at that time.
And so they really got to step into that.
And our students were fascinated
by what they heard, but also, and I
remember distinctly one little girl
saying, You said you liked all these
things, why don't you do them now?
And the woman's face was,
she was almost in tears.
She had gotten so caught up in caring
for her children and caring for her
husband and doing her duties that
she forgot to take care of her.
And that young child evoked in
her a passion that she was able to
then go and ignite when she left.
And I thought, wow, so out of the gift in
the mouths of babes comes so much wisdom.
They love recess.
So our little ones have recess, four
times a day on campus here because they
need that opportunity to run around, to
play, to be, to be happy, to have joy and.
I don't think we, we give
ourselves that as adults.
sometimes we need permission and I
know for me that permission comes from
my students to be silly, to have fun,
I know years ago, I was invited to go
back to school with, Goldman Sachs had
a 10, 000 small business initiative.
that invited entrepreneurs to join
with them and get the equivalent of
your MBA through Babson University
instruction and to be sponsored by
Goldman Sachs to go through this
four month program free of charge.
So it was an amazing opportunity.
And so I told my students what I was
doing, not because I wanted them to
be proud of me, but because I wanted
them to know even someone at my age.
As a grandmother goes back to school like
learning is lifelong and a little girl in
first grade came up to me and said Mrs.
Elder, I just can't wrap my head
around you going back to school.
And I said, well, that's okay.
I'm going to go.
I'll be there three times a
week for the next semester.
But it was just, I wanted them to
be exposed to that because how many
of our parents go back to school?
Very few.
And so giving them opportunity,
they're so willing to accept the norm.
And the norm can be abnormal.
The norm can be whatever it
is we want to share with them.
And they're, they're very
willing to make that possible.
And I think spending time with children,
and not just your grandchildren,
but spending time with children,
can really ignite that sense of
possibility as we grow older.
we can lose that.
We can become very, as I mentioned
earlier, kind of, kind of
slighted, kind of jaded, kind of.
I don't know, grumpy a little bit.
And this allows us to have a
fresh start each day and to
know that it's a clean slate.
And I know when we deal with
disciplinary issues, that's
the one thing my students know.
Your actions don't define you.
That was just something
that happened today.
Tomorrow's a brand new day.
When you come in to school
tomorrow, I treat you like the same
person who I've loved for years.
your behavior doesn't affect
my decision about you.
It just gives us an opportunity
to learn more and to improve.
And I think as adults, we can be very
judgmental of both ourselves and others.
And to be willing to give each of us.
Especially our significant others, a
clean slate every day and just go, you
know what, I love you today, like I've
loved you even more every day, and
let's just go see what we can create
today together really, allows us to have
that sense of adventure that I think
sometimes gets lost in translation between
doctor's visits and dealing with fixing
up houses and whatever it is, it sort
of derails us from what We truly want
to accomplish and to be thinking about,
as you mentioned, Kathleen, our legacy.
What is it you want set, at your funeral?
I recently buried my mother and I
wanted it to be a very happy event.
And, we played that song
by, I forget his name now.
It's just be happy.
Yasmin: Oh, Pharrell?
Debbie: Yes.
And I made them dance out of the
chapel into the reception area because
that's what my mother loved to do.
She loved to dance.
And she would have been so
upset to think they were sad.
We talked about all the great
things that she had accomplished
in her life and all the joy she
brought and the wisdom she shared.
it was truly a celebration.
So let's celebrate now.
Let's celebrate today.
Don't wait.
Don't put it off.
Have fun be, be Kid-like today,
today's been a celebration just
being with you, so thank you so much.
How do people find out more
about your school and, find you?
Well, I'm all over social media.
Our website is shady oak primary.com.
You can reach out to me at d
elder@shadyoakprimary.com if
you have any questions or wanna
learn more about what we do here.
but I would love to hear from your
audience and, this has been amazing.
Thank you both very much for having me.
I really appreciate it.
Kathleen: Our pleasure.
I so admire what you've done and I
love that you've taken all of the life
lessons you've learned and all of the
different, careers that you've had
and you've understood what it took
to have those exchanges at all those
different areas in your life, and
you've implemented a system to make the
positive changes in the youth today.
So, admire you tremendously.
Yasmin: Wow.
It's truly a gift to be here with
you and just your generous wisdom.
And, and again, the impact that
you're making is just so amazing.
So thank you for sharing that.
And hopefully this inspires our
audience for what may be possible.
Kathlee: if you love what you're
hearing and you love what you've
just learned, please subscribe.
We are hoping to have many, many
more episodes with as much rich
information as you've gained today.
I know that.
I've learned things and I,
I know that you will too.
we're so happy, Debbie, that you
came and joined us today and we
look forward to following you and
having our audience do the same.
Debbie: Thank you, Kathleen.
Thank you, Yasmin.
Thank you, everybody.
Yasmin: Thank you for taking
the time to join us today.
If you enjoyed this episode or
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Check out the show notes with links
to resources mentioned in this
episode at realretirementshow.
com.
Remember retirement is a joyful
journey we get to experience together.
Join us next week for another
Real Retirement Conversation.