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Are you a new parent or parent of twins and multiples? Do you want to thrive, rather than just survive?
Welcome to our show - a modern, step, by step guide to get you best set up for thrivival!
No outdated, frumpy or stuffy content - we're for NEW parents, we are new parents and we have found the best of the best experts, research and stories. If you're time poor - look no further - community and support building, efficiency hacks and tools, pregnancy, symptom management, partner support, body, bust, skin, hair, postpartum recovery, PND, logistics and travel, parenting twin psychology, childcare need-to-knows, returning to work and more!
I'm Emily, a twin and twin mum. I have researched extensively the best tips, efficiency hacks, expert advice. Books, white papers, medical papers, online groups, articles - sifted through it all, for you. I hope this podcast helps you best navigate this exciting time.
If you have guest recommendations or ideas, feedback - please DM my on socials or email hello@dwoh.group
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Podcast: Hey There Thivival
Hi everyone.
I'm your host, Emily Twin
mom, twin, and entrepreneur.
Today's guest is a certified financial
advisor and a regular on national
TV breakfast show, Betsy Westcott.
Betsy's gonna share how to set up a
strong financial position for parents.
Your top steps, tips, and hacks.
Let's jump in.
Emily: Betsy, it's so
great to have you today.
Thank you for joining us.
Could you please tell the
Betsy Westcott: Thank you
Emily: who you are and what you do?
Betsy Westcott: Yes.
Hi, Emily.
, thank you for having me.
I'm a licensed financial wellness coach.
I work with couples and individuals
to help them understand money and
make the most out of it so they can
live with purpose and prosperity
and financial freedom and whatever
their version of a rich life is.
That's what I help them to create.
but by way of.
background.
I started in financial services 15
years ago, I've covered running bank
branches being a private banker for
wealthy families and individuals,
launching fintechs and new banks
and running transformation programs.
And through that, I realized what I really
love is that one to one helping people
understand money because it's this thing
that we all have access to some of us know
how to use it really well and some of us
haven't got a clue or I've got a bit of
a clue but not much it can really Impact
the trajectory of your life, choices you
make, the experiences you get to have.
I liken it to getting keys to
a car without driving lessons.
So I like to be everyone's
driving instructor, so to speak.
Emily: I love that.
you're giving me, memories back
to when I first learned to drive.
Very important to get
Betsy Westcott: Yes.
Yes.
Actually, I feel like you and
I might've had the same driving
instructor, but that's a side note.
Was it Ian?
Emily: Yes.
Betsy Westcott: Yeah.
Emily: It was the,
Betsy Westcott: The rowing coach.
Emily: Row coach.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
He was a character
Betsy Westcott: Yeah.
Yeah.
Emily: solving those,
driving issues very early on.
That's, a really good way to explain it.
I know you do this day in day out, so
I'm really excited for our audience
to hear more about some of your
tips and insights as we go through.
So Betsy, there's a reason that
people have tuned in today.
They've seen this episode is on parenthood
finances they've decided to listen.
Why should they be, prioritizing this?
We're all very, very busy.
what is, the hook there?
Betsy Westcott: well, finances
are basically the foundation
of so many aspects of our
lives and financial wellbeing.
when we have that, improves
our broader wellbeing.
reduces stress.
improves our mental health.
improves our relationships.
Something that is very front and
center when you're raising little kids.
it also provides a sense of security,
particularly at a point in time where,
the reality for many families is that
cost of living is going up, housing
affordability can be quite a challenge.
And there's a lot of concerns around,
long term wealth creation being
able to retire and live comfortably,
but when families have control.
Over their finances, they're better
equipped to handle unexpected expenses.
They can plan for the future and get
through and still achieve or at least
maintain, , those life goals, that
quality of living that they want.
maintain over overall physical emotional
and social wellbeing, which is.
critical, particularly in those
early years where you're navigating
this new role of parenting.
you're also navigating a real change in
lifestyle where you might have increased
expenses, but also decreased income.
Something people always ask me, is
what is financial well being anyway?
how do you actually know if you have it?
Do you need to be Kardashian rich?
And then you're and then you're good.
, or is it something simpler?
I Put it down to these three factors,
and if you can say yes to all three,
then you can push your hand up, bend
your elbow, pat yourself on the back.
You've got financial wellbeing.
So do you have, do you have enough
money to meet your day to day needs?
you're, spending less than you earn
as, as everyone always goes on about.
Do you have money set aside to
withstand a financial shock,
something unexpected, unplanned?
You, yeah.
Got the means to get yourself
through those sort of situations.
And then number three, are you
actively putting money toward your
long term plans, your long term goals?
if you can say yes to all three,
then you have financial wellbeing.
So I hope that's a helpful guide
Emily: I think that's really good.
the other thing, that's springs to mind is
once you go into that parent journey, it's
so much more amplified as well, isn't it?
it's.
a lot more on the line and at stake, and
we know that statistically, , there are
issues with relationships and the cost
of living, , as we've talked about.
And so I think, it is really
important to think about it,,
Betsy Westcott: a little bit of
planning goes such a long way it's
really taking care of your future
self, having conversations early,
taking steps to reduce debt, to build
up your savings buffers, to think about,
what financial, support is available
to us, paid parental leave or, or
different, social services support.
And it, it's.
It is a really challenging time, as I
said, expenses go up, income comes down.
but if you can plan for that,
think through that, you're going
to get through so much better.
If there is a period where you do not
have the means to be actively saving, in
fact, you might be living off savings.
That is completely normal during
those early days of parenting,
particularly when your income is down.
if you aren't able to put money
away, if you are living off
savings, you are not a failure.
You're going through a very normal
experience for that season of life.
So I want to reassure people that yeah,
it's, it's a tight time financially,
particularly in those early years.
Emily: yeah, And I think the reality
of it being a tight squeeze and people
not feeling shame for maybe not being
set up is is a really good call out.
So today what we're going to do for the
audience is we're going to run through
a nice structure to get people easy
ways to understand how to approach it
especially those of us who are time poor.
So, a good lead into the next
question, the most important categories
of expenses for parents that are
about to become parents or, , in
those early years of parenthood?
Betsy Westcott: I really like how you've
distinguished the, the before and after,
because I think that's an easy way to
approach it and not get overwhelmed.
research from,
The university of Canberra says
that it costs between 13, 000 to
30, 000 a year to raise a child.
And if you tally that up
over 18 years, assuming that.
They actually move out of home after
18 years may or may not happen.
You're looking at, , between 500, 000 to
just over a million dollars per child.
a pretty big sum.
breaking it down into, into
segments, into seasons is going to
help you tackle it step by step.
think about the different phases.
You've got, , preconception.
Then pregnancy, and then you've
got parenthood, and there's
different phases of parenthood.
Preconception, you'll be thinking a lot
around getting your insurances in place.
That might not be the first thing on
your list, but it really should be
because it's much easier to get your
cover set up for income protection.
Life insurance, total
permanent disability, pre baby.
also for health insurance, you might
have to see out some waiting time.
Understanding what your needs
are in terms of these types of
insurances then getting them set up.
Pre baby is a really smart idea.
then building up your savings
buffers, trying to pay down debt,
particularly high interest debts.
I think credit cards,
leases, personal loans.
then also, the preconception, expenses,
whether that's prenatal vitamins.
Or if you're navigating assisted fertility
treatments, those can, , be up in the
thousands, tens of thousands of dollars.
So just thinking through, what
does our journey look like?
What do we anticipate the expenses to be?
And how do we, get this early phase?
Sorted once you're lucky enough to
conceive, then it's thinking about,
okay, what will we need, in the
early days to support this baby?
What medical expenses will we have
Probably some more vitamins,
establishing a nursery.
A lot of people rush to upgrade the car.
I would.
Temper that and wait and see if you
really do need to upgrade the car.
from personal experience, we
kept our hatchback for our first
child and it was perfectly fine.
so you don't need to get like
the mummy tractor straight away.
Maybe if you're having multiples,
I concede you might need a bigger
car, but it's One of those things
that you'll you often think you need
But you don't, it's a big expense.
other things mom's probably going to need,
or the parent that's carrying is going
to need probably some, some new clothes.
and then are you looking
at any extra ones?
Are you going to go private
for your, for your birth?
What's that cost?
Do you want to have, in home assistance
like doulas and things like that?
Then there's the after birth period.
So that's the recovery for the mom.
Let's not forget about mom.
I know we get very excited about baby
babies, but,, we need to make sure that
mom is well catered and well cared for.
So whether that's, that post birth
doula, food services, cause who's
got time to cook, the physio, some
doctor's visits things like that.
then there's, feeding baby, dressing baby.
getting baby around.
you might have formula expenses,
breastfeeding pillows, sterilizers,
breast pumps, potentially.
then once you're getting through all
of that, it's thinking about what
are ongoing education and childcare
expenses and planning for them.
yes, yes.
Yeah.
Emily: pre babies, get your insurances in
place, start having a conversation with
your partner, if you've got a partner or
your support people, have the conversation
around, what expenses are coming up what
you might do and what levers you can pull.
And I'd probably add to that
as well, if you can, Bank up
your holiday and carers leave.
That's a really good tip because
then you've got obviously paid,
maternity leave, or you can convert it.
then you talked about the
medical costs for the mother.
So private.
Or, going public.
the public system in Australia is
particularly good in some other countries.
It depends.
I would say look at what cost you can get
covered if you're a person that's in a
situation where you want to reduce that.
or you've got a
straightforward birth as well.
I will say if you're having multiples like
myself, you'll Most likely sent straight
to the,, public system because our system
is just fantastic, even if you've got a
Betsy Westcott: Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Emily: if you've got health cover,
you can get some subsidies there.
There's also the public system physios
you can access for scans as well.
make sure you ask your doctor if you
do some, recovery classes, you can also
do things like Pilates through physio,
which is claimable in healthcare.
So mentioned that, but Betsy's
basically gone through a few phases.
it's good to know, take it piece
by piece and definitely start,
thinking and working out little
hacks to, to put money away.
Betsy Westcott: Yeah.
Emily: let's jump into the next piece.
say there's a solo parent or a couple,
that have decided that they are having
children and they want to have a
chat about the about their finances.
What is, a good first
step, to, to kick that off.
Betsy Westcott: really starting
to think about what kind of life
you want to create for this child
then getting into the details of
how you're going to approach it.
particularly if you're in a couple,
you want to be on the same page,
you want to be a collaborative team
and you want to have some structure.
in terms of getting aligned, start
with your vision of the future.
You're about to become parents.
Isn't that exciting?
how do you see it all unfolding?
Where do you want to live?
Is that different to where you are now?
how will you share in
the care for this child?
And that applies to solo parents
as well, I've got a cousin who's,
Recently become a mom as a solo parent.
And , she's assembling the
village around her to make sure
that she gets that support.
So thinking about who's going to help you
or what services are you going to utilize
to support the ship, the care of that
child, or children, what parental leave
programs are available, what government
support services can you tap into?
What savings do you have then what
are your expectations of each other?
I think it's a really good
conversation to have when you are
envisaging that future, what is your
expectations of the mom or as a mom?
What's your expectation of a dad?
Or as a dad, who's going to organize
the money or how will you come
together to make financial decisions?
What's the framework
that you're going to use?
What's really important to you
both, because, I'm sure you will
attest this Emily, , there's how
you think things are going to go.
And then there's how things actually
go when the rubber hits the road
Emily: Yeah, or if you just
don't think about it, and then it
Betsy Westcott: Yeah, yeah.
So, what are the not negotiables
or what's really high priority
and really important to you?
And then also talk about
what are you worried about?
Because, voicing that early or raising
that early, you can actually start
making steps to mitigate that or, realize
maybe it's not actually a real concern.
It's more of an imagined concern.
in this step of getting really aligned
and clear about that vision of the future.
I want you to be.
Dreaming, exploring, designing, the
ideal, then from that step, that's when
you can really get into the details.
looking at your finances, what's your
financial position, what's available to
you, how you're going to work together,
going to organize things, but start
by getting on the same page or getting
that clear vision of what do you want?
there's a million ways you can raise
a family and a baby, but getting
clear around what do you want?
What does your family want to
need is the place to start.
Emily: what would be for, let's say
there's listeners, , that perhaps they
don't really like talking about money.
They know they should, but maybe
if they've got a partner, their
partner is not interested or one's
more interested than the other.
Or if they're solo, they're just feeling a
lot of stress Is there a fun way to do it?
, would you recommend going for
lunch or for a coffee or having,
some sort of good environment
to make it a bit more enjoyable?
What have you seen work?
Betsy Westcott: A hundred percent.
the top three, , emotions that
people have around money is
fear, guilt, and shame, which
Emily: Right,
Betsy Westcott: bad actually,
because money's fun.
I love money.
I have a great time with money.
, I wish we could reframe it to
joy, excitement, possibility.
, but if you do feel those
things, that's very, very normal.
, so.
Framing the conversation, , from
a really positive perspective.
I'm curious.
I want to work together.
I want to make sure we're a great team
setting it up and giving someone notice,
like don't spring a conversation on them.
, and don't have a conversation when you're
. Having an emotional reaction to something.
So you've just got your first bill for
a scan and it's more than you expected.
And you're freaking out and you're
like, we need to talk about money now.
well, let's take a breath.
Let's regulate our system before
we do this, just so we can have
the best possible conversation.
And, if you are
. Prepping someone, you're
gonna have this conversation.
choose a time where everyone's
feeling calm and comfortable.
Maybe have a an agenda so you can
keep the conversation on track and
everyone can come in prepared.
There's no surprises.
, and as you said, put it in
a really nice environment.
Light a candle, pour a glass of wine,
if you will, get some cheese and
bickies or go to your favorite cafe.
, or even, set yourself a reward
that you get to have once you've
had the money conversation.
, all of these things
can help in framing it.
If you're really struggling to
navigate this or to have healthy
conversations, get some support.
Don't avoid the conversation, So
whether that's a financial coach
like myself that specializes in
couples or even working with a
relationship counselor, which I would.
Highly, highly recommend.
, because , if you want to get really
fit strong and athletic, you go and get
a physical fitness coach for whatever
it is that you're trying to achieve.
Same goes for your
relationship or your money.
Go get a coach who can guide you, hold
space for you, keep you accountable.
it doesn't mean you're broken.
It doesn't mean your
relationships, , in a bad place.
It's just that you're aspiring for
better, and you're going to go get
the tools to help you get there.
don't be afraid to get support
when navigating this stuff.
Yeah, first
Emily: you approach your
partner and in what environment.
hopefully positive as an opportunity and
exploratory what I got from Betsy timing.
Don't do it at the end of the day when
people are burnt out or maybe a Friday.
, we haven't had any sleep
after maybe a week of work.
Not ideal.
So timing, , have some
notes and structure.
So a bit of an agenda.
You could even say to your partner,
perhaps, do you want to think
about what you think is important?
I'll think what I think is important.
Let's bring that together over
a glass of wine, dinner, coffee,
, the reward, So reward could be
dinner or lunch, , or ice cream.
And then I The support thing is great.
And I will say that I
have found that fantastic.
, my partner and I, , have had a coach
and we took a long time getting there
and agreeing that it was something
we'd invest in, but once we've done
it, they've cleaned everything up.
They also acted as almost a mediator
between us to help kind of talk about
what's fact in terms of finances
and what's actually our situation.
And so I actually found that really
Betsy Westcott: feeling sorry.
Yeah.
Emily: would say that's actually really
good and can be a bit of an expense,
but I found that some of the savings
they found for us straight off the
bat actually paid off a lot of it
pretty quickly, which was a shock.
you do have to make sure they are
accredited, , as Betsy is, , because
there's a lot of people out there
that I think are not accredited check
their credentials, Their studies,
, and then if you've got, , tick
ticks, definitely a great win there.
So Thank you.
Betsy.
we talked about how to start.
What would be an example of,
let's say, three good joint
family goals for new parents?
Ah, that's a good one.
if you're preparing, to have your
baby, I would focus on what are the
financial goals that are going to
provide us stability and flexibility.
using those two Guide rails, things
that might help you prepare for those
upcoming changes in lifestyle expenses.
I would focus on having some emergency
savings because you just, hopefully
everything goes well and to plan.
And for most people, that's the case,
but , with my second baby, we've had
a number of hospital visits, , with
different viruses he picked up,
unfortunately, but I'm so glad I had.
money set aside to fund an extended
mat leave for myself so I could
just focus on getting him well.
So, that's a real lived experience
where having emergency savings
and and those those buffers has
really helped alleviate stress.
I would get really clear around
what's the cash flow going to look
like whilst , taking parental leave.
is that parental leave from work?
Is that the government
paid parental leave?
Is that cash savings?
making sure really across
what's the money coming in?
What's the money going out?
Because it's going to look
different from pre baby life.
, and then the third thing getting
that child care, that transition
back to work or the cost of
having someone stay at home.
, getting really clear on
what that looks like.
then finally, your stretch
goal how can you continue to
contribute to long term savings?
still contribute to
your retirement savings?
If you're living in Australia,
that's your superannuation.
, or is that, other long term goals,
buying a house, paying down a house,
holidays, education, whatever that
those high priority items are for you.
Okay.
So think about emergencies,
think about your cashflow.
Look at.
Your actual financial situation.
A great way that I found was
literally to do a three month
grab from your bank statements.
and look at your savings amounts as well.
then categorize it.
There's a great, you'll know
about this one, Betsy, the,
my gov, budgeting tool that's
Betsy Westcott: Yeah.
Emily: So grabbing that.
Categorize your expenses for both of you.
It's really quite, , simple.
It's just plus, plus, plus, plus, plus,
, or minus whatever you need to minus.
then, , you talked about, child
care the transition back to work.
are you a family that can
afford to take some time out?
Is your workplace going to,
Give you some paid leave or the
government, they substitute as well.
, if you qualify then, , post that, then
how do you contribute longer term?
And a lot of people will be thinking,
well, this is all well and good.
don't like finances.
Maybe I'll try some of this,
but let's talk about people that
really need to find savings.
What are some, , good ways to, , reduce
debt, find savings, maybe renegotiate
their loans, , day-to-day what are the
things that you'd tell to your clients?
Mm-Hmm.
Betsy Westcott: I would start with your
big ticket items first, because a lot of
times we focus on these 3 savings, like,
Oh, I'm going to skip the latte today.
And that's going to really
change my financial future.
Nah, I mean, , it's, it's not
those little tiny decisions that
really change the trajectory.
It's.
30, 000 savings opportunities or
wealth creation opportunities.
So looking at your housing.
if you are someone who has a
mortgage, then can you renegotiate
your interest rate to be cheaper?
, You should be reviewing your interest
rate every 12 to 24 months at a minimum,
if you don't, you're paying the lazy
tax and you don't want to pay that.
That's expensive.
look at your insurances.
that's car, home health, all
those personal insurances
make sure that they are.
Optimize and appropriate.
And you're getting the best deal.
Every time I get a renewal notice,
I go onto a comparison website
or chat to my insurance broker,
depending on the type of insurance.
, and say, look, is this still the best
policy, the best deal out there for me?
making sure I'm not paying too much
then also looking at your investment.
, everybody in Australia who has a
superannuation fund, Is an investor,
it's probably the biggest asset that you
ever accumulate outside of your home.
most of us ignore it for the
first 20 years of our life.
if we just paid a little bit of
attention and did, things like
how much am I paying in fees?
And is that appropriate?
Are those fees as low as they could be?
Is it invested appropriately
with the right risk profile, with
the right orientation to growth
assets like shares and property?
, Have I consolidated into a single fund?
, does my fund perform well?
Is it actually getting the results?
It should.
Those things don't cost you anything
and can make you tens, if not hundreds
of thousands of dollars richer.
all you need to do is invest a few
hours making a few tweaks, and you
will literally make yourself rich.
Richer and the sooner you do
it, the richer you will be.
Emily: I think that purely the
super one is a I if people were
to take one thing from today,
hopefully they'll take more than one.
I think that's super one because
it is a huge amount of money
that's automatically taken out.
And you can definitely, , . Make
a lot of money, as you said,
if you look at that closely.
So I just wanted to highlight that,
Betsy Westcott: Well, actually on super
, for women, , often it's, it's actually
through a lot of government lobbying,
slowly changing, but traditionally, if a
parent took parental leave, superannuation
wasn't paid on that leave, which is
weird, by the way, because we get super
on sick leave, we get it on carers
leave, we get it on holiday leave.
But we don't get it on parental leave.
Who knows why?
Emily: Wow.
Betsy Westcott: yeah, but the government
has announced that they will start
paying superannuation on paid parental
leave, which is great, but a lot
of private companies don't do it.
say you take two years out and
you're earning the average Australian
salary, which I think is around.
You know, 000
Emily: still
Betsy Westcott: miss out on about 12 to
15, 000 of superannuation contributions.
it doesn't sound like a huge sum, but
if you fast forward to, 35 years later,
when you're going to retire, that's
going to be an additional 120, 000 or
so missing from your retirement savings.
Now, , obviously we want to like lobby
governments and lobby our companies to
include superannuation But until we can
create that change, how do we self solve?
the way to do it is to
make extra contributions.
That, when you are back at work or
before you go on leave to, fill the gap.
for me, I was fortunate enough to
be aware of this I started salary
sacrificing through my twenties.
the benefit of doing it earlier
is that that money's been
invested for an extra 10 years.
that's going to compound and grow further.
I need to contribute less, but I can
mitigate and create great results with
a lot less money because of that time.
In the market being invested.
So that's a little quick tip is the,
if you have the ability during your
early years pre baby to try and make
those extra contributions to offset the
impact of a career break or a parental
leave break, that's going to make a huge
difference to your retirement balance.
, when you come to retire.
Okay.
Super aside.
, , little hacks, like switching
your mortgage repayment.
So you can't negotiate a better deal,
switching it to a fortnightly instead of
a monthly repayment will actually see you
pay off your home loan quicker through
more frequent payments, saved interest.
, and it just means.
You're a homeowner sooner.
There's a great calculators on that money.
Smart.
gov.
au website is actually my
favorite website out of Google.
, it's got guides for everything,
how to start a family, how to
financially prepare to buy a puppy.
It's really got everything.
Um,
Emily: hmm.
Betsy Westcott: resource.
What I love about it
is it's government run.
So nobody is trying to sell you anything.
It's just completely independent,
useful tools and resources, So you've,
you've done the big ticket items.
Then I would start getting
into the more granular detail
of , where is your money going?
looking at your subscriptions, the
average Australian spends 1, 200 a year.
On unused subscriptions, there's a
quick, easy savings that could play for
the brand, or whatever review things
like your electricity bill, water bill,
gas bill, audit, those subscriptions.
then the other big area to save
is where you're spending money.
we always want the best for our children,
but it's really important to be mindful
around where you're spending money.
Don't buy things too early
before you need them.
, consider secondhand, there's a
huge market of used baby goods and
particularly clothes, for example,
, look for those marketplaces or for
things like potties or high chairs.
, can you borrow stuff, often
family want to buy you gifts.
having a list of items that might be
appropriate to be gifted is a great thing.
, use your cashback sites when
you're making your purchases.
there's things like cash rewards, , or
, shop back, grow my money where when
you're making purchases, you get, the
exact same goods, but you get a cash
back that either goes into your pocket
or can be directed to your home loan or
as an extra payment to superannuation.
Emily: Had never heard of that.
Betsy Westcott: Yeah, and then there's
the, the 3 hacks, which you can, once
you've done all those big ticket items,
you can start looking at, for us as a
family shopping at Aldi instead of coal
saves us 30 percent on our grocery bill.
Emily: Wonderful.
Look, that's some really good tips there.
So I hope everyone's taking notes there.
We can go back and listen.
So, another question for you is,
you are a mom of two, what do you
personally find the most difficult
and tips that you use to manage that?
Betsy Westcott: Yes.
Okay.
The most difficult thing when it
comes to finances is the moving
feast of your financial situation.
, my boys are still under three.
We're very early days.
I'm like an L plater parent,, in
that time I've gone from having an
executive role with paid parental
leave to launching my own business, to
having to fund my own parental leave,
the cost of two sets of daycare fees.
It's, it's ever evolving, you know, the
clothes or the equipment that they need.
So being really clued into my money,
making, and having planned to have saving
buffers to anticipate the decrease in
income has helped me eliminate the stress.
, of, of all these varying expenses,
having a routine of checking in on
our finances and also appropriate.
Expectations at this point in time.
I am a money gal.
I like to be earning and saving and
investing and spending right now.
I'm doing a little bit of
earning a lot of spending and
not much on the investing front.
And.
I don't like it, but I'm okay
with it because it's not forever.
It's just for now.
to recap that, I would say some good
planning, a regular routine to check
in because things are changing.
, and making sure you and your partner
are reviewing your expenses, being
agile, little money ninjas and adjusting
according to whatever the circumstances
acknowledging the season that you're in.
what's really possible.
It's, it's ridiculous to think, Oh,
we're going to be making strides on our
mortgage or, having the European holidays
when you're down to one income and you've
got little mouths to feed, , you might
be doing the big four caravan park,
which just by the way, is a lot of fun.
, it'll all come back eventually.
Emily: I think that's a really good
reminder, because the gap between your
subconscious expectations about how
you were living, and then you haven't
quite realized that suddenly you're in
a new place, maybe feeling a stress and
anxiety, is really a big thing, right?
we don't know what we haven't been.
Experience.
And
Betsy Westcott: Yeah.
Emily: have addressed your subconscious
expectations and then fast forward with
the business of work and parenthood
of sleep and all of the above and
negotiating your relationships
with friends, they change to,
Betsy Westcott: Yes.
Yeah.
Emily: it can, it can be
quite a lot of stress.
So really addressing that, another
thing that you've really pointed
out there, which I'll, . Reflag
to our listeners is, , sure that
, you have a recurring checkpoint.
for people that aren't money gals like
Betsy, those who it's not something you'd
see as fun Setting a recurring calendar.
, reminder, Or a date.
when you get your biggest renewals.
and you and if you have a partner
both knowing about it, if you're
solo, making sure that it's built
into your schedule, sounds like a
ways to close that gap with anxiety.
You're talking about it, it's real,
you're moving forward and you're
doing your best because it's probably
not gonna be perfect, as you said.
Betsy Westcott: Yes.
One of my favorite money mantras
is I take care of my money
and my money takes care of me.
a really nice way of reframing it
from this chore, this burdensome
thing to it's a self care practice.
a more nurturing, wholesome experience.
Again, Probably throw in a little
reward every time you do it.
, , go get a mani pedi.
It's not like go have a trip to
Ibiza, not a silly reward, but yeah,
something, something appropriate.
and just make it fun.
who came up with the idea that
money should be hard and chore like
and restrictive and all of that.
, let's talk about budgets.
budgets are often seen as this terrible
thing that are going to restrict us.
And, , we're going to have to cut
back and blah, blah, blah, blah.
But I like to think about my, , think
about mine as a spending plan.
How am I going to prioritize Putting
money towards the things that I care
about most supporting me, having
the lifestyle that I enjoy the most.
And even just that language
change really changes the energy,
So really there's no downside
to engaging with your money.
Emily: they're again,
all really good recaps.
if people were to just start with
what Betsy said before, which is
start with your big ticket items.
Take baby steps, work into it.
, having.
Clarity on what you actually spending on.
We all know we're spending on
stuff, vaguely aware, some things,
maybe they're in the naughty box,
other things, you know, whatever.
, but to actually spend the time to do
that, think really would take a lot of
anxiety away for a lot of people, even
if you get it down to a basic level.
, so I would, I'd highly recommend that
Betsy Westcott: And there's so many free
or inexpensive tools out there, , , for
example, tracking where your spending is
actually going, , there's personal finance
management apps, like you need a budget.
we money, Frollo,
personally, I use we money.
It connects to the data
in my bank accounts.
reads it it categorizes what income I have
coming in and then what spending I do.
And it does take a little bit
of an investment of time, one
to connect your banking data.
, but to also to train the categories
a little bit, they get them about.
85 percent right.
, but some of them, they just, they
miss like they, they tried to tell me
that Netflix was entertainment and I
was like, no guys, that's childcare.
, I'm kidding by the way, And
that's a really great way
to just have a very quick.
Visual view how you're tracking
Are you overspending underspending?
How's your savings Use technology
to make your life easier.
if budgets and spreadsheets, you're
like, I am not a freak in the sheet.
I do not like that.
No, thank you.
Cool.
use an app instead.
Emily: That's a great idea.
I'll put that, I'll link that down.
So we money, And then there's one
other thing I just want to pick
back on a, , a topic you mentioned
before is, also not being afraid to
speak to your workplace about what.
For example, on that, , government
site, there's best practice workplace
in terms of what is the best
maternity or paternity leave, how many
weeks, what you cover, and there's
Betsy Westcott: Yes.
Emily: Not intentionally, but
don't have the most up to date
policy with their compatriots,
Betsy Westcott: Mm hmm.
Emily: would you say might be beneficial
for people to raise that or come up
with what might be better, especially if
you're having multiples, cause you get
at the moment, one lot for two babies
and I'd say triple also the effort.
do you think about that Betsy?
you think
Betsy Westcott: Knowledge is always power.
So if you're venturing into this life
changing journey of becoming a parent,
spend time reading up on these things.
And I was working in a workplace, , at
one point where I wasn't having a
baby, but a colleague was, we had no
policy Whatsoever, get informed, go
to those government websites, find
out what is best practice and don't
be afraid to have that conversation.
The worst thing you'll get is a no.
, but the best thing is that you might end
up with a better policy and often it's
about that transition back to work that's
That's a really big chapter as well.
you might want to build back up to,,
whatever sort of amount of work you
want to be doing, whether that's
full time or part time, then also
depending on the availability of
childcare, you might have to build
back up because you might not have.
The childcare available straight away.
open the communication with your
workplace demonstrates that you take
your job seriously, that you, value
yourself as an employee and the
contribution you'll make becoming a
parent doesn't make you a less than.
Employee.
It actually is a superpower.
that was something I realized
after becoming a parent.
After years of managing teams, , I
did not appreciate the parents in my,
in my team, , and just the superhuman
effort that they, , had getting to
work, also how frightfully efficient
they were more of that, please.
Have that confidence
that, , becoming a parent is.
Something that is adding to your
CV, not taking away from it.
Emily: it absolutely makes you
more efficient and more robust.
So that's a huge win for the
workplace and probably less flappable
about things that don't matter.
I think is what I hear amongst
people because this, So much worse.
You've now dealt with I'm going to recap
cause we're getting towards the end here,
we've gone through how to approach us
with your partner your personal mindset.
, understanding, , where you came
from with your finances, , looking
at the best starting points.
So where to start, how to start,
what's the mechanisms, paying down or.
negotiating current expenses, , having
goals, making sure it's fun, working
out ways to free up cash, a few other
bits of pieces hopefully this has
been really valuable to everyone.
I found it great.
I've actually learned a lot of
things today that I hadn't heard of.
, so Betsy, thank you so
much for jumping on today.
Really enjoyed having you and I shall
link Betsy's details, in the show notes.
So if you want to reach out, ask
questions or follow her on or wherever
else she's located, you can do so.
So Betsy, thanks so much.