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Baldrick bombs the basement garrison. Tanhauser and Vali bluff the upper floor. Glub Talk harvests bugs to patch a wound. Speaker improvises a beetle-rider mentor who gets canonised by PDF before the session ends. Down in the prison they free a girl called Gyrl — and learn Cardoza has been processing people into her hunt.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
all righty chat is everyone ready for another exciting episode of rod grind
oh my god you need to get into the foundry if you don't get into the foundry it's all gonna fall apart
what are you doing
he's not getting into the foundry i've sent him to italy no he's gonna enjoy alfa romero racing no
no i'm losing it here hey who wants to play cruelty squad yeah we'll go play cruelty squad
yeah this is whatever sure no chat do you want cruelty squad
we can we just not play path on today we just do cruelty squad yeah all right you got it i'm
booting it up there wasn't anything important happening in today's session anyway that's
like no big climactic encounter that's fine don't even worry about it let's find the path to a
different game let's find the path oh all right here we go here we go
all right cruelty squad everyone uh zorn if you want to like click on your docks and change the
game type here we'll move from absolutely i'll just change everything let me just capture the screen
let me just go to here and then change this and then go to here and then i say cruelty squad i'm
gonna i'm gonna capture that i'm gonna go over here and then i'm gonna just mess up my entire
override i accidentally quit never mind damn make sure you go into your dock and click the docks button
to release all my personal details oh i already have i like how through the process of opening cruelty
squad i somehow started watching snipe and whip stream on accident it's like i i didn't mean to
click that whatever i'm here hi everybody welcome to another episode of rock grind brought to you by
our lovely patrons at patreon.com force has narrative declaration you will know anything more about us
and stuff if you're new or just randomly found us on a podcast thing or youtube thing any other place
or whatever you can always find who we are where our schedule is when we do go live at
narrative declaration.com but i'd like to ask everybody here to introduce themselves once more
like we always do so everybody here knows the amazing individuals that do bring you this show
starting off with odoroshi hello uh i am odo you can find me on twitter at odoroshi writer i'm going
to play i'm going to be playing holly the sylph swashbuckler and um you know i'm i'm so glad
to be here uh here in in italy with my friends um alfabusa yeah yeah my known italian alfabusa
um of course all right yeah go to the next person next person is hulky crow
that's me i'm hulky crow i am here to be playing the kinrasu cleric rahua
and as the people in my town love to say on this very hot saturday where else would you rather be
than here
there's a lot of places okay okay okay
fuck you i was being sentimental okay next up is erendil
hello my name is erendil i'm playing baldrick he is uh he's an alchemist he explodes things
you find me on twitter at adder and ilio and i do things and i write for alfabusa we just
recently released a special regarding the horse uh that's pretty cool uh we're in italy and
yep right now i have i have a meatball i'm preparing to throw it at speaker when he starts
his his bit true
uh yeah no uh yeah no uh speaker go ahead all right hey guys i'm speaker
and i'm speaking i'm playing tenhauser here tenhauser if you're not aware is the android
magus revolutionary here to bring down the house uh my twitter is at super spanking everyone's
listening on twitter as we usually do at the end of the show but i'll do it at the beginning
and by the way i just want to make one announcement for everyone this is a very
important announcement everyone needs to hear it okay soda
i attacked him directly through his modem that was the meatball
no his life points that was the other meatball oh god i didn't make enough to go to italy this
year so i'm stuck
next up we have our analysis game master as speaker d dies
mr thurston hillman why hello there my name is thurston hillman or thirsty or on call gm
i am the uh game master adjudicator of this game i look forward to uh tormenting our players today
in what will surely not be an important session at all uh you can find me because speaker did it you
can find me on the tweeters at on call gm and like on all the things that on call gm i work for
paizo publishing the people who make pathfinder second edition uh i primarily work in their digital
department doing one shots and other cool adventures and you can find me there but
zoran do you have any news for us today because i'm turning this around on you
oh yeah i'm always the last last dude i am i am zoran the bear i'm playing oran the stricts druid
who uh was recently rat druid last episode uh verdi news announcement stuff um if you guys go and
check out our patreon we usually like to kind of use the patreon as like a blog system sometimes uh
i think next week we are going to be taking a wee little break uh we're also going to be having a
q a session over at the end of it because uh we're reaching an interesting point in the show
and uh there's a whole bunch of amazing pdfs coming through along with the warhams special that
we're doing if y'all love you also see the preview of all the art pieces of all our lovely characters
for the warham pre uh warham uh special so you can basically um you know if you are a patreon member
or if you are a subscriber on twitch uh you will also be able to get all the awesome exclusive
stuff because it'll be a patreon only thing along with a uh twitch only thing so if you're subscribed
to it you'll be able to see the sub only stream and you if you are part of the patreon uh you will
also get access to the uh exclusive uh youtube vod of that session so you see all of the old warhams
crew come in along with odoroshi's uh is it deliana right yes yes okay yeah and yeah and you'll
be able to see them uh interact with each other in the rock grind setting and see them all come back
for one little last hurrah so yeah so if you're a part of that that's what we have going along there
along with a bunch of amazing pdfs for coming in like a standalone adventure a uh player's guide to
outset pretty much the world or the city that we've kind of been playing in currently so if you too want
to run your adventures here in the rock grind setting or in the same city that we're in you will
now have all the information you need to along with a neat little adventure to kind of uh help start
you off with but yeah with that thurston what adventure do you have for us today i also forgot
something wow like no you didn't you you aced that chat can we get a round of applause for zoran
he did a great job introducing us to this session yes very good very good all right
but every time so i want to point this out because this is just a point of contention every time it's
like what do you have in store for us today and then i like immediately i'm like well before i tell
you what i have in store let's recap last session which we're going to do because last time on rock
grind our destined band of chuckle fucks made their plans to infiltrate the tyrant's guild fortress of
delg sanren house splitting the party into three distinct groups because splitting the party is
always a great idea the pieces made their way towards the fortress oran flew in through skylight
entering uh into a bathroom where he encountered a noble hiding from the ongoing gala meanwhile
valley and tannhauser entered through the front door attempting to bluff their way past the guards
their deception was met with light skepticism so one guard went to confer with the leader in the
basement of course rahua baldrick and sir crunch had made their way into the basement where they
confronted the garrison with baldrick leading the combat with a barrage of bombs just like bombs for
days meanwhile valley and tannhauser continued their deception eventually heading upstairs to
investigate a set of closed doors that were powerfully locked during all of this oran was a rat
by the way i need to stress oran was a rat things escalated the group pursued fleeing tyrant's guild
members downstairs and joined the combat with baldrick and roma and crunch where our group has now
reconvened after a fairly intense combat if i may say so uh leaving many corpses on the floor uh one volley very
wounded and i suppose we can hand things off to our players here because everything is totally okay right
off to our players oh my organs oh we gotta be okay all right hold on
uh
baldrick's gonna rummage around in in the shared pack that we have
and point out the fact that we have many healing potions to still use
i mean we don't have to use it in the healing potions i mean i could help you out volley
rahul you would like to help me of course of course i would hey i need to be on the map please
you are on the map i'm seeing a black screen uh refresh your thing refresh your screen
damn near to hell but uh as so i'd like to propose a uh a little cooperative thing
um pokey if you absolutely help me out with it um so follow i want to heal you
and stuff if you would accept my dreaded healing i think last episode you got basically destroyed
and you're like one hp right now
yeah so i'd like to do is i uh orm we're gonna ask for her to come on like uh yeah rura can you
come over here quick i need your assistance and ask you to come over and he's gonna cast healing
plaster so we can get it but as he casts it he goes like like rura do you like or like like uh
what i would like to do is kind of ask her who is like do you have any um
any additions to yourself do you like carry any critters or anything
well i don't have anyone beyond glub talk at the moment no i meant like you're like bugs you have
like a slight termite problem in your leg glub talk help you're gonna vanish that thing now
shush actually i don't think i has it been eight hours since i last cast pet cash
um yeah i think it's been it's been slightly over eight hours does he only last eight hours in
the pet cash or how long does he stay in the that's how long pet cash lasts um you know
can we can we set up a thing where hulky reasonably reapplies pet cash every yeah like if like i i can
assume that like glub talk is permanently in the pet cash by the way chat these these players don't
like glub talk so he's just staying in the he's okay i don't get why everyone is not valuable right
now therefore he stays he stays in the funny trash bag i'm a real glub head yeah tell you what
tell you what because from my fellow glub heads out there
glub heads rise up as rahua is leaning down towards voli's bleeding viscera uh just kind of assessing the
damage he'll extend his one hand with the bit of orb in it he'll splay his fingers and glub top will pop
out in a flash of light since now pack cash has expired glub talk i i'm going to need your
assistance with this bit of delicate work here would you care to help there is a a nod a a deep-seated
nod of glub talk help also glub talk apparently had persistent acid damage i'm taking that off
oh baldric still got to him god damn
for eternity in the prison no welcome welcome to rahua's mostly acid-free pocket to me
hold an experience it's been this is on mostly mostly dab talk help yes club talk help uh rahua will
i i want to just generally cast heal on her actually do i i do have healing tools so
oh you want to help you with this he will but i'll i'll get to that in a second okay okay
while this is happening can i please wipe the acid off of me uh yeah roll me a d20 great
seven roll me a d20 again
16. yes it's gone terrific so um okay if you don't have any bugs all right glub talk i need i need your
assistance i need to help make this healing plaster work out to help volley don't worry volley be just
fine uh find me every bug you can find oh what bugs what fill here with bugs like cockroaches centipedes
spiders anything you can find that's it's okay vol it's okay volley we got you i may have some tenders
the smoke dissipates as club talk walks through the corpses
glub talk you may want to check my upper terapus you might be able to find some small isopods in
there they're usually good at keeping some of the plant matter alive oh that's great size is enough
for him to go into the cells where glub talk goes through the cells of the prison and i should for um
for those of you who are listening indicate that where we last left off uh our party was in the basement
of derek sandron house which uh appeared to be like a prison with about five um like
five by ten little little cells uh lined up against walls times four so there's you know
20 cells here of which only one is currently occupied by a small child
um which the party has forgotten about for you know good reasons club talk however is tiny enough to
move between the cells is going through and collecting like a small cache of bugs before
rushing back underneath the table in the center um there are various implements of not good things
and then there is a door to the south that opens to a jutting room which is this absolutely opulent
bedroom which has like a sofa couch like a twin bed a nightstand with a book it has carpet the rest of
the room however is entirely like some kind of torture chamber
glub talk help and like comes up to you volley with like a swarm of skittering bugs many of which
are walking along like between the elbow and the wrist like skittering along glub talk's tiny fetal
like hands glub talk help give him here and orrin's going help and like comes over to you orrin okay
orange one is like don't worry volley it's it's an old druidic recipe heals your room moves up right
up and he puts the bugs in his mouth and starts crunching and then spits it right into the healing
blaster hey um tanhauser yes can you give me a wisdom check actually a will save let's go for a
will save this makes sense because tanhauser is terrified of bugs absolutely all right
i'm sorry because of the horrible soda bit i did at the beginning of the stream
no more coughing i'm gonna be coughing up a lot that's perfect i love it spright directly into
my body 15 that's a win right it is as you're seeing this tanhauser um and and specifically speaker
dean um this is triggering a flashback for you uh for something very similar in a desert far away that you
remember from your mentor teaching you about bugs would you like to tell us a little bit about that
scene i would love nothing more so bremblo please no bremblo is not there mark me down
all right all right all right i believe you have a name for your mentor who i'm hoping you're not
furiously trying to find right now but of course i'm not yeah of course um well of course i remember
very vividly on the hard sands not far from the score and when we were on the run it was just her and
i and we had happened upon the beetle traders of the northwest peninsula known as galrock
and on northwest peninsula known as galrock that's right okay so this would probably uh if we were to
have the world map of tyne out which i'm totally not just desperately opening right now in an attempt
to make sure that whatever you're spewing makes sense actually makes sense um let's see here
thurston you open this can of worms no i did i absolutely did i just want to make sure no no no
no i know it's just funny all right you whatever bullshit you're saying i'm gonna confirm no no no
no no no no no no this is this is good this is good um okay so the uh peninsula of galrock is more
of a westward jetting peninsula um which is a loose peninsula in terms of like you know actual
geography but it is um like the very very border of the mourn racked expanse to the far north of
perdoma cool i just need to make sure that worked carry on speaker of course of course and within the
northwest peninsula not located in the northwest but is in fact referred to as the northwest peninsula
of galrock
sorry he's going no this is this is this is how we build up our fucking lore guys keep going
tan hauser was able to encounter several of the galrock beetle riders and upon witnessing one become
envenomed by their own rider beetle there was a home style remedy created by the great peoples of the
sands made of ash and several mixtures of chitinous creatures intermixed with deep druidic magics this
was able to preserve the limbs of the envenomed rider and allow them to make passage further back
towards outset tan hauser's mentor is home absolutely absolutely um with your beer 15 which is a reasonable
check at a um at a will save from this memory you remember from galrock the sort of area that's like
just at that border of the mourn racked expanse um the mourn racked expanse is an area north of
perdoma perdoma is the continent that you are currently on uh it is kind of the uh if you consider
tyne is like a world that is flat which it isn't because flat earthers are dumb um perdoma is the
central continent located near the sort of like central middle um outset is located on sort of a jut to
the west near the like slightly above middle central point the northern point which is kind of this
other jut of land is called the mourn racked expanse it is a section of nobles which have
endured into undeath now with that being said there is a borderland there where there are beetle riders
that are these um like kind of centuries against the region of the mourn rack expanse because the vast
majority of the perdoman continent is actually made up of several nation states which you've heard of
before known as the inheritor lands um when the the pantheon of the first house the king the queen
the bishop and all of the rest ascended into divinity they left the empire they created which stretched
across three continents uh and perdoma fell into a bunch of bickering nation states one of which you've
heard like legibet from ser cronch uh there there are a multitude of others and with that you uh you know
that there is one that borders the northern edge of perdoma just before the mourn racked expanse because the
mourn racked expanse aside from outset is the only non-inheritor land on the perdoman continent
and as i quickly check um totally not a pdf that we're going to release in the future
uh ah yes the lands of tolovar are the lands that border the mourn racked expanse and you know that
there are beetle riders that move around there tan hauser and your mentor has explained this to you
um the land of tolovar are like if if if you had to sort of like pin down what tolovar is it's a land of
sheltered villages with no centralized leadership it's just kind of the the buffer zone between
perdoma and the the inheritor lands perdoma and the mourn racked expanse kind of like oh if if the
mourn racked expanse and their their people ever decide to invade the inheritor lands they have to go
through shitsville so it's a bunch of like loosely aligned hamlets and villages which are known for two
things one speaker you have just created the beetle riders of course and two the wandering
spell casters known as garlic mansers and this is what you know of that region
see
does oren's magic remind me of this does it seem as though it comes from this region or i think it's
it's more of a of a like like memory because what what was your mentor's name speaker
oh i remember it very well i absolutely am sure you remember the name of your mentor so well
because i remember it because her name was lady zale that's what i was of course about to say that was
her name yeah um so lady zale had told you of like the sort of like wandering uh beetle uh like and
and the beetle knights were something of like a kind of like don quixote they were the people who
went at the border of the mourn racked expanse because the mourn racked expanse is this desolate
tundra north of the inheritor lands it's filled with like aristocratic undead
and so these beetle riders patrol the border to make sure that these like
these undead don't get any ideas of invading the south of course
and garlic mansors are just like another thing that you would like kind of hit with knowing of
that region of tolovar um mostly because you're totally going to get an archetype for garlic
mansors later on everybody so if you want to run your own rock grind campaigns you're going to be
able to play a garlic man sir you know it look like garlic i love garlic morin you were i believe
getting some bugs on you as our dear tanhauser had this realization saying tanhauser just i guess looking
with a thousand yard stare having this flashback orange just kind of looking up at him a little
bit his mouth just you know like that gif of that where those little things like the wobbly little
things what a little play-doh looking guy just just munching right what you think about tanhauser
seeing you chew those beetles reminds me of a great adventure i once had with my mentor in the far-off
sands of galrock you must have learned that technique from a great beetle rider no doubt
and that's a brutal rider are they right the beetles got that down now
he puts his healing plaster so it starts rubbing together i would like to um i like to cast first
aid on a valley and i would like to combat too unless you want us to like combat valley uh you're
out of combat oh am i not have i not ended the the thing one sec you have not because
and encounter i could get a final blow
i'm not getting enough kills at any cost whatever it takes we gotta increase our kdr
i would like to uh i would like to assist if i can as far as helping heal volley
yeah so i'll i'll do a medicine check uh the first aid uh do i get any bonuses or anything for
munching bugs or circumstance for that whole thing i'm going to count like both tenhauser's realization
yours i'll give you a plus three circumstance bonus yeah time for the one here we go so true
1d1 24. if hokey if hokey aids me i could probably crit
that that was the intent but you have to roll a medicine check the the aid oh my so it's an actual
thing in path for a second edition you can aid somebody and if you aid if you succeed on the dc
then you get you add a plus one to me like plus one or something so i'm going to roll the dice but i
would love to flavor it as rahua will put his hands down towards valia's wounds just small little vines
will start extending forth uh if you've ever seen like one of those weird worms that have like they
feed with this web of like tendrils sort of like that little little vines adding some kind of
scaffolding for the healing plaster just malleable enough to keep it on the wound itself god i love
you hulky well three because because of course you you fail that roll terrible it's okay i have a hero
point yeah do it that's my ally alive make that three a one hell yeah here we go complicate
18 is enough that will crit succeed i will give you the crit success
it's 48 on a crit right yeah yeah normally um you would need a 20 but because like you've you've
role played really hard and you've given good examples here and we've had a whole moment crit
absolutely okay 48 valley you got healed for beard 20 hit points return to your house
um tanhauser uh you he begin to hear coughing behind you
as the electrified corpse to your southeast seems to still be clinging to the barest
minimum of life as the abaser knight looks up the sort of electrical arcs from your prior spell
casting dissipating their their mask obscuring their face but you hear the coughing
you don't have even you don't even have the decency to die cleanly do you
i've failed
failed that is correct and now i'm going to ask you for information
what is the nature of this ritual what are they doing to the people in the ballroom
um my my dear friend mr tanhauser um would you like to give me an intimidation check i would love
to as i take out some of my climbing tools including my fanged grappling hook you your death is impossible
to avert but you can either go peacefully or painfully which will it be
and i'll uh like it lab talk help
of the guy and does that bit you know like when you interact your fingers and you like
press them to like crick him into position he does that but they all break
golly yes thank you thank you club talk for your help let's intimidate this bastard thank you grunk
can you roll the natural one please would you like to hero point that um i would like nothing more
in the world i feel dreadful i'm i'm coughing um there's a complication that's going to come out of
this this is worthless that's awesome god damn you tanhauser scare him 24th
okay let's see oh um
oh god jim i'd like to offset this a little bit but while this is happening can bulgic please be
like searching the nice room for information in case he gives us bunko absolutely we will we will
come back to this i know i just don't want to accidentally initiate combat with like his
ancestors ghosts or something okay i'm gonna use this one because it's dumb and fun and that's the
best kind of the best kind of complication like this tyrant skilled like agents locks eyes with you
you've you've had this complication and he he like has this like slight moment his eyes sort of move
side to side he looks up at your your sort of glassy eyes and over at club talk
it all it all changed when when the hegemon came
the clown and the codpiece
the one from the princess blaster uh the the noble the martinet changed
you could you could stop him right perhaps i can you you're you're with us right and like his hand
comes up to grasp yours i look look down at this guy
uh rest now abasa justice shall take the head
he changed her and then he like looks over and conveniently because mechanicus and nept had a
complication that reads wanted uh when attempting a uh a skill check on an npc the npc's eyes drift to
a nearby tyrant's guild wanted poster of the pc or party in general so he's like do this thing for
me and save the tyrant's guild his eyes look over to see a wanted picture of like you and baldrick on
the wall to the east and he he just like sees this poster looks back at you oh and then he dies again
i would have thought he had gotten the hint i should talk about the revolution more next time
i don't think that's going to make him work any faster before he passes away
maybe not but it would clear up awkward misunderstandings like this
i said kicking him to make sure he's dead
fantastic wait like like not like hard like vader stomping on squamshy
obi-wan robes kicking i have no idea what you did that squamshy uh give me a perception check
to get squamshy out of our heads baldrick
this is what you get for watching obi-wan i didn't i didn't then why'd you bring it up
he watched obi-wan he watched obi-wan yeah that was new hope doug that'll shoot you for not watching
a new one movie yeah uh i'll give you a 22. all right so as you go through the area you can see
that there is a a written journal on the the nightstand here by the sort of sofa chair
and alongside it is a key that is currently being used as a bookmark um the the book itself seems
to detail ins and outs of prisoners uh with the last three pages dedicated to outs of prisoners
and then one entry of an in-prisoner um and and you look to like squint at the name but as you
squint at the name of the sole prisoner remaining it's like a cue for that prisoner to speak up
and yeah a little voice crying out like are you guys gonna let me the fuck out of here is everybody
dead baldrick is trying to learn the name of this orphan wretch uh odo name your terrible
orphan wretch child ah god damn you fuck it i'm the gm i can pass this on sometimes uh uh
the prisoner is named um wait we discussed this in the car remember what did we yeah during some
random car ride we discussed the name of the spirit someone hold on someone in set someone in chat said
ah yes this is girl that is the name we discussed absolutely it's just girl girl okay uh character
sheet is updated girl uh the character she is updated with g-y-r-l-l girl okay okay
g-y-r-l there we go girl girl i will provide a new token girl of rivia that's just what i sound like
when i'm talking to the gearlies yeah the gearlies all right the girl token is gone the girl token is
added done terrific work we love it just like sticking a hand out the out the bars and just like
waving wildly although for comedic effect are the bars how how close together are these bars i am a
child do you want to roll me a d20 to see if your girl gets stuck in the bars absolutely i do
yeah accidentally accidentally beaming herself in the face with her own joke
i mean i am a child uh you're you're like okay so one sec i think i can do this yeah i can totally
like position you halfway as you get stuck in the parts as you like try to squirm your way out girl
and then you are stuck oh oh the agony the misery oh oh no madam
clonk clonk
child i shall help you attacks
yes yes it may take all of my efforts and all of my understanding to get this this child out of
this this dangerous trap why are you in a tin can it's all right madam i shall uh fellow companions
you may wish to continue on your your journey in this facility i shall shall escort this fair maiden out
of her prison girl help godspeed you dubiously competent bastard i have this don't worry sir crunch
would never leave one in need but sir crunch knows that you must continue on i will yes these bars i
use my hammer here yes yes sir when you're done with comedy small child may i get information out of
this paper that you had me read yeah what information are you actually looking for out of this my
information that i'm looking for is like anything pertaining to out processing of the prisoners in
this case i know this child was processed in identified as girl which means that she's probably been
selected for whatever the fuck these guys were planning on doing with regards to the walkway
i need to check was there any other kind of out processing listed for these prisoners
essentially what you get the impression of is that there was like a regular intake of prisoners that was
coming in you know every few days they'd have someone come in then every few days they'd have someone
who would exit through the north door and that's the marking that was there um and when they exited
through the north door they were fine um but then there was a exited let let out as opposed to let out from
the north door and that seems to correspond to the day of the hunt
that would that would line up with the the idea that they turned a whole bunch of people loose and
then proceeded to start their hunt exactly but there are several references to exited via the north
door
um so that's what i've got here i've got there's also a key obviously which has been used for that
i'm going to pocket that very briefly because i'm going over to the prison in a moment to take
care of that locked door uh is there anything else in here i see there's like some kind of
fucking goblet here oh yeah so there there's like you know a little a little goblet on the table
uh a bit of a drink it looks like there's uh bookshelves uh a bed that was utilized in here
the bookshelves are mostly replete with um somewhat skewed legal or documents as you're kind
of perusing over them um would there be a bottle available there does not appear to be a bottle
they wouldn't even give these guys the bottle for the wine that's fucking funny no i presume i
already know what the drink in the glass is yeah it appears to be some kind of like
light alcoholic wine terrific so it's not what they usually drink that's fantastic
these guys are these guys are not terribly well liked by the siren's guild they're just kind of
here that's good you can also tell though that the bed has not been touched in a while like at least
like it's it's freshly made i should say
so whoever was in here the um excoriator's leader was probably not the person who would normally dwell in
in this chamber that makes sense probably like some kind of upper end torture or whatever high
up anything interesting in the bookshelves just those legal or documents um
can i can i skim through them to see if i can fill in any holes in my ownership of of legal documents
sure okay i'm gonna just he picks through the the documents and now has a full set which
he is going to probably read at home at some point to actually get fully immersed in the law which
will uh by the way that's uh i'm gonna do that i'm gonna own you later with my understanding of law
i look forward to 10 sessions from now and you're like ah but thurston i purchased these or i actually
jim i think you were lawful documents yeah absolutely i think you were also what's the chalice made of
uh glass all right useless okay so he's going it was like silver like like a metal he would take
and try to sell it no it doesn't appear to be there's nothing else on the shelves just books
yeah it seems like it was mostly like a one of those four show libraries sort of thing in fact
you can kind of see that thin layer of dust over everything so i'll deal with that in a second for
now he is going to go over to crunch with the key and he's going to very carefully sidle up
it's like all right stop being in the damn door but well i was tempting to help this this poor
impoverished maiden you see yeah perhaps we could if we could leverage the hammer i could use it
you smell like chemicals yeah you got any alcohol uh there's some of the chalice over there but give
me a moment all right you're kind of wedged in the door if i open this you're going to get caught in a
pinch and crushed so why don't you try to extricate yourself by doing baldrick places his like boot on
her shoulder and pushes her back into the cell
yeah give me a give me a strength check baldrick all right you got it project kicking kids
baldrick here in baldrick kicking child how do i actually roll strike uh you should just be able to
click on the you know all the child kicking skill just roll a d20 plus one flash are one d20 this one
eh not too good this is a strong gate yeah it's like she's like really like lodged in there
uh girl do you want to give me a d20 roll to weasel your way out oh christ
i hope we're here for another half hour just stuck in the bars that's a 13. you like go like like
baldrick comes to kick you who fails terribly you're afraid of a second kick you weasel your way out
the door unlocks also it didn't say kick place boot on shoulder push oh you kicked me you kicked me
like a football you kick the girl like a ball drink you kick the girl like a ball drink whoa
perhaps i should escort escort this fair maiden out of this facility no wonder you're on every
what poster and outset why is your head shaped like that though i thought it was a circle he pulls out a
fucking key and has had enough of this conversation already erndel hits the plot button
i i do not worry madam guy real i will take you out of here please follow me yep
tannhauser's gonna look down at glove talk i tell you what with rhetoric like this
now i also can't move myself suddenly there we go jesus what was that i
say that again oh shit sorry you were you were talking and and uh erdell spoke up what was that
oh my god yeah yeah no tanner's just watching all of us looks down at glove talk real quick
you know with rhetoric like this he'll never win hearts and minds grab talk help
bally are you feeling okay um yeah definitely uh as i have to rapidly switch voices
i'm feeling at a uh on a scale of one to fifty about a twenty two
yeah uh well if you can take care of the rest of it oh but if you feel any creepy crawlies inside your
moon don't worry they'll die
you owe me i mean i already helped you not bleed to death so i think we're already
you put a tarantula in my guts hey the fangs help you know bind the wounds together
oh i think it's still moving that's probably
bolly these kinds of things work themselves out after all you now owe us for keeping you alive
but i'm just glad you're okay oh thank you uh i pat his little head or his big head
about say his head is quite
so thurston when everyone dead
no yes well we i'm gonna start picking over them for valuables or like information
okay um for the most part their equipment is fairly straightforward um
you what you're able to tell is that the uh the various abasers here are equipped with
uh chain mail long swords and steel shields um the only equipment of note that you might see is that
the um excoriatorge has a spell book as well as a um plus or as a bit a magical item that you can
probably just tell is magical because i'm not gonna make you i can roll it all the time but like as it has
a magical weapon that's sort of like claw um implement they utilized against you which would
be like a sickle equivalent interesting or knocked down a scoriatorge before but hey works no potions
on them or anything no potions fair enough i didn't expect otherwise just figured i'd check
yeah fair enough but uh i assume you'll like pocket the spell book and the the weapon because
they're you'll pocket this you'll keep the spell book and the sickle together and he will proceed to
uh so what what can i tell about this weapon would you say it's more like an agility based weapon
um yeah it's like a fairly basic uh weapon so if we were to look up sickle
in terms of weapon uh it's a simple melee weapon so anyone can basically use it um it's like an
agile finesse weapon so it's dex based but it only does like d4 slashing damage uh you can use it to
trip as well uh but it's got magic on it so anyone who has like magical inclination could probably check
it out more yep that is precisely my thinking uh logic is going to after picking over some of the
corpses and finding basically nothing of value beyond like the armor and what which i presume
we already have like a decent amount of right no one's really hurting for like chain mail
i don't think so nah
rahua you're made of this you don't need chain mail i have better we could sell it but
but that kind of runs into the problem of like who's gonna carry all this crap
who is the biggest and strongest so he becomes the meal for a bit and the dreamiest yep yeah yeah
all right give them any id thirst him he's a fucking tree he'll take dreamy tree he'll take as
much chain mail as he can feasibly get within a reasonably quick time span i'm presuming we don't
have all day to do this yeah you're like taking off some equipment i won't put it on you yet or
anything like i'm assuming you're not encumbering yourself to do this no because i'm not going to
encumber myself because encumbering myself would encumber rahua so very true but yeah baldrick you
come over with the weapon in the spell book uh the rest of the group is sort of like assembled
around volley all of you can tell like tan hauser's like got some scratches volley still looks pretty
beat up um baldrick looks a little bit beat up uh i'm gonna actually down a people's loot uh which
is stronger minor or lesser um so in this case i believe it's the lesser
bad bad bad to like game worker person note because you know um the lesser yeah the lesser is
the better okay i'm gonna i'm gonna quaff a lesser healing potion then just to patch myself up to save
it i could probably just do first aid on everybody real quick oh yeah because we are splinted on time
aren't we you could you could like have enough time to do first aid because you've got the healing
plaster up too still so i'd let you like don't worry you don't have to like oh
shit we're on like an immediate clock i'll let like orin do a um medicine check let's do this
yeah that just means volley might need a potion yeah i might have to do the potion
yeah so i don't include rahua uh hulky do you want to do a first aid on like tan
howls and i'll do one of baldered uh absolutely awesome so we'll do that i'll i'll roll mine real
quick i love it too we love to see you too got that do you got a hero point no oh no one loves orin
okay um rahua i'll give you my medicine natural one hurts hurts tan house from there wouldn't that be
funny wouldn't it be nice not twice okay 28. very uh very very uh that will be a crit success uh
critical just with the the situation nice you critically succeeded in healing tanhouser so tanhouser
uh i'm just gonna put you back to 48 because the least wounded hey oh yeah
uh half life one medical hit noise go ahead and go ahead and drink your potions now at this point
arendale and then we'll uh okay so let's just split the lessons between me so so yeah i was going to say
really quick and like this this is something that you you can decide as a group but you should know
um the minor healing potions are d8 each the lesser is 2d8 plus five but you only have two of the
lesser so you might want to save those for like a call you said you said the lesser was weaker
no no no it's it's sorry sorry sorry the minor yeah the minor is the okay in that case let's split
i don't think one is going to satiate volley so let's give volley two how about how about you do
them one at a time because i can just deduct them as you use them all right yeah i we've got two of
the lessers so if i take one now we'll still have another for like emergencies uh because i don't think
the minor is going to bring me i mean the most it could get me is up to 30. so i will deduct one
lesser and uh volley if you will roll me you don't have to do that d8 plus five what if he clicks use
it automatically deducts it off his character sheet yeah but it's in the party loot that's the thing oh
he just just drag it on his thing and then he can use it yeah how about we just do the funny and there
yeah there we go look 19 19. excellent i will heal you that look at that i'm going to need more than
that i've i'm going to call for another one okay another six six and then i will mark you down that
yeah there you go
all right uh real quick what the hell was i at last time for alchemical stuff i think i used
i think you had three uses left but each of the uses was like a double because of your
it's a double if i take the time to make them a 24 hour version as opposed to quick casting that's
right so i think you just had the three left right i have three uses left which means i can make six of
something or i could make three quickly yeah do you want to prep in advance knowing that you're
maybe going into something treacherous it's annoying i'll tell you what i will put together
a tanglefoot which will give me two lesser tanglefoot bags yep
is equipped born good i will make two alchemist fire moderates uh just to say i will you know make
two yeah uh you want to do four total and then i'm thinking tanglefoot some four i'm thinking because
i'll run out of combat ability very quickly if i don't unless you want to do like acid so like two acid
two fire to tanglefoot i'm thinking because thunder smoke sticks are useful we've used them all up
basically well not it's not all of us you guys still have them i just it's very true uh
screw it i'll make two acids two moderate acid flasks good so that's the rest of my alchemical
stuff today i will no longer be making anything we're all just clustered around baldrick as he's
doing this just like watching uncomfortably close baldrick is is multitasking he's actually holding
the sickle and the uh the spellbook up for tanhauser hey yes pick this up from the uh the mage over
there scoria turge i figured you'd be more of a fan of the sickle than i am well i usually prefer my
sickle's paired with hammers precisely my joke great the spellbook however looks rather interesting
yeah i'll take them both okay there'll be more um
all right there's another door over here i'm going to list off spells in this spellbook tanhauser as
he's doing the alchemical stuff and as you know oran and rahua are healing and volley is basking in
like the please treat my medical wounds also i'm going to drink all of our potions um uh tanhauser
and you're like also during this like rahua expertly heals you um to save us all some time
yeah um i'm gonna list off spells tell me if they appeal to you oh god bind undead
that seems neat slow that seems vampiric touch that seems very neat acid arrow that seems cute
darkness i like a little bit of darkness in my life hmm you know i like that too all right we're
gonna roll a lot of this later on but like basically the the assumption is is that tanhauser
starts skimming is like oh oh just ripping off pages putting them in his little red book yeah
well we'll do some checks uh later on maybe fair enough session or something but you're like you're
like like flipping through the spellbook like i like the cut of these uh tyrants guilds jib
uh do you want to give me actually while you're also doing this an arcane check i will give you
an arcane check arcane check ahana the secret the secrets of the universe incredible details power
all right we gotta fly are you happy with that role uh i'm i'm uh i uh oh god yeah sure we'll use it
you have a hero you have a hero quest a hero quest natural 20 31 weapon however is way more
interesting it is a plus one striking excoriator so it's essentially the equivalent of a plus one
striking stickle um which means it is a like plus one to hit and like does double damage so double
damage dice on the attack uh the weapon i will quickly pull up here
oh wait one second uh
there we go um the weapon looks like the sort of like staff here it's treated like a sickle in terms
of a weapon but like it looks like this sort of tri-clawed um almost like gardening implement but it's
like magical uh and yeah so you can tell that this will be like a pretty like plus one to hit uh 2d4
weapon so how interesting is it finesse uh the stats on this because i am a cool person and totally
have this up at all times waiting for uh microsoft word to do the word thing because
it has the game master is always prepared uh the game master is always prepared um it is a agile and
finesse weapon so you get your dex bonus and it's agile which means uh you only take a minus four if you
do subsequent attacks let the power let the tools of oppression become weapons of liberation do you
want that on your character sheet and like to start using it perhaps i would love both of those things
okay i will make those things happen we'll see how smart past thirsty was in terms of uh putting
equipment oh i as you uh smart but i'll get that okay as you're as you're making that warns and as
ten houses going through his book oran like looks up as ten hours you look at them with with very
innocent corruptible eyes he's like what book you got yes i'm glad you asked this is the abasus torture
manual it shows us all of their varying magical degrees of destruction and control in our hands it
could become a powerful weapon of freedom liberty and you know what i'm going to say you're going to
torture people no freedom well but not yet i mean this guy died but i said kicking the dead body is your
revolution not supposed to be helping some people don't get tortured yes in our new society there
won't be no need for torture but we must first torture these people to make our new society
yes why are you using things that you are currently that's currently being oppressing of you as an example
to kind of set a certain precedent to keep power when you were trying to eliminate that thing when you
rely on that to create the power to make a new society that's a very good question it's because
the mechanisms to create a new society can only be again via engaging the dark arts of violence and the
other tools of power i.e in order to disrupt a toxic system we must disrupt it oftentimes with an
ends very similar to its own however given that our mission is far more just and our means are far
more discerning yes i consider this a valid course of action it is a sad truth of reality it seems
like you're coping pretty hard for the fact that you just i'm not coping i'm not old i'm not
in all matches now i'm going to start running i make up a mean i make of a mean hair regrowing
settlement for all that molding you're doing this is incredibly anotheistic
NO THOSE WERE AN Чтобы ASING
stick i'm opening this door it's empty thank god all right can we go and kill the man in the
copies real real quick i i do want to just like make sure we've done everything we can here
baldrick is checking every inch of this room for anything of note for information because
it's a fucking torture chamber there's gonna be information in here some idiot's gonna write it
down and leave it somewhere out this door is presumably the plank yes
um okay do you want to uh yeah so you open it okay so the opening leads to a
a section of stone that carries on for about 30 feet um
it leads out over the sinkhole there is a slight slight wooden or sorry wooden stone fence
that leads along the way to a point where people would be dropped off
okay so when you hear the north door you know that what they were doing was they were leading
people out of the north door and dropping them into the sinkhole so if i go out here real quick
i'm not going off the edge yeah like you can like take i'm not gonna like aha and then a
sawsaurer comes gust of wind to death um but like gust yes um but you're able to walk out and you're
like you get the sense of the wind like you look around you can see um but what's more like
not horrifying to baldrick because baldrick is in your tour anyways um and in fact i say that so
like if i ever make you make a fear check baldrick remind me you like get a plus one bonus because
you're just like nothing fucking surprises me anymore you look up and you see along this bridge
you see the sort of like lighting the blue the yellow yes purple and the red that's because above
you is a stained glass window that looks down on this area how far down how far up um about a floor up
so height give me feet like i would say about 20 feet okay so way higher than i can reasonably reach
yeah but what you're able to discern from this is that and you know this building you you kind of had
that like moment before where we did the oceans 11 style look you know that the nobles who are
partying on the main floor were probably looking down and watching people be walked off this thing
also by the way i want to say to tell my partner did this map and it's fucked up like this is some
fucked up shit that people were doing of course um
ah this is annoying because i had an idea because they would be expecting if we can make it happen
they would be expecting us by the stairs
would you say the stained glass is particularly reinforced
do you have any kind of like engine you have craft right i have engineering actually yeah give me
engineering you know i have engineering yeah if you have engineering give me a plus two circumstance
because yeah so i'm just rolling lore engineering uh yeah lore engineering give yourself a plus two
circumstance because it's really applicable here
i'll give you 16 happy with that will that will that succeed it'll give you some information
i don't think i'm gonna do better and i want to save this hero point
fair enough um you can tell that the glass is hyper reinforced it would take dedicated attacks
to break it it would take someone affixing something to it like a demolition charge let's say
or like a very powerful attack something like that yeah i'm asking because uh we happen to have
someone who has a grappling hook yeah you're not gonna get up from here but what that's telling you
is that like yes this glass could theoretically break
looking around thurston would i be able to see any kind of trellises or embellishments leading down
from this side of the building or is it totally flat so this is the bottom of the building by far
yes but i mean like up to this like the supports for that because i'm assuming you can't have like
an overhang like this with no support there are supports um with your engineering check you'd know
that like the supports are going to be beyond your ability to bring the whole building down
not not for destruction purposes just need to know if there are supports yeah there are um but like
they're they're very thick like it's clear that this was one of the areas where when the the sinkhole
occurred about 150 years ago when the sinkhole happened um this would have been one of the more
stable regions and they actually cut out around here reasonably speaking
yes could we climb the supports up to a closer level to this window
um you could however in the sake of brevity for our session i you're going to also recognize from your
memory that like it's just going to lead up to the main floor which your party has already come from
i know so unless there was like a battalion of tyrants guard on the main floor that they didn't
tell you about when they came here you already have access to that in a less um
difficult means man i wish i had access to coring charges oh well later that'll be for later it was
worth a shot nothing yeah but you like you you know like and honestly like you can tell that this
would be like a very difficult building to just collapse like you could blow the blow the supports
but it would still take a while for it to collapse
bodrick is seeing through all this nonsense and he is officially no longer interested in
trying to level this from this point forward so we will just go about this the way the gm wants us to
uh as as as bodrick as bodrick comes back in um uh hulky if you want to have this scenario can we
have a scenario where we're trying to shove glove talk back inside
that doesn't even need to be a scenario so rahul will walk over to glove talk i was waiting for this
too glub talk did you do a good job did you help everybody out glub talk glub talk help glub talk
help tanhauser glub talk help child glub talk help crunch glub talk help oh he knows our names
his language is getting a lot better that must be said why don't you put her there and rahul will
extend out his hand like a high five down to glub talk's level give me a diplomacy check
absolutely diplomacy we're about to lose our baby i love this society don't crush him i love duplo
oh i was almost at 20. grab talk high fives you and i will cast pet cash in a blinding
don't want to go to the shadow realm he'll go right back in no disappears the shadow realm
thank god for that who taught him to say shadow realm i don't think he did say that
what's the shadow realm it's supposed to be nice in there i'll be honest when you all have not been
looking i've been teaching him about the revolution oh damn it tanny you're corrupting the youth
it's not corruption revolution is the hammer with which we used to crush the enemy and
if you pay twenty dollars an hour uh or sorry twenty dollars a month speaker d and i will do an
audio drum of club talk and dad else we're discussing a political scream
easiest easiest easiest moment of my life glub talk glub talk help
easiest moment of your life hardest moment of mine yeah exactly you're like fucking an hour of that
me like glub talk hinder those are the two abilities that glub talk has by the way glub talk
help and glub talk hinder that's it we haven't seen him hinder anyone have we no no i think once
maybe oh god anyways uh yeah so so you get um glub talk back on the shadow realm baldrick you've come
in realizing that the gm hates fun uh and doesn't want you to level the whole building that wasn't
even my attempt you fucking goon i was gonna do something else but you're like no you can't do
anything wow well i'm like what do you want like you want to climb up yes i'm going specifically what
did you want to do you wanted to climb up to the area that you already i wanted to climb up to the
plate glass window and blow it open so we didn't have to walk through the guards i mean most of
the guards there are no guards though killed all the guards are dead we don't have to cut bodger get down
yes he assumes he he assumes there is always a there is always a second detail never assume there
is never not a second detail always assume that there is something else here we can do the second
detail we invaded the cellars and what about the third one what about the second breakfast they're
probably inside waiting to be killed by us exactly it's we we asked the stealth segment if nobody's
alive to see us i eat this pork chop on the table it's delicious that wasn't pork thurston do i receive
a pork chop bonus you know only egg bonus sir uh i'm there are egg up there i go just starts walking
i can't tell do i i'm gonna another hero point i'd like to make a narrative don't actually have
one i can't don't worry i i'm gonna it's been kicked from the server
all right so what are you all doing now that you've like you've got this key i assume you're
having some time to converse um like tannhauser volley or and you're able to describe the door on the
second floor uh you're able to explain that on the first floor there was some kind of gala with
doors closed that you hadn't quite entered but had heard something weird was going on where are you
going now all right so there's that door on the second floor that is still very sus but we couldn't
find a key uh aldrich you have a key i do have a key i didn't just leave it in the prison door
probably a spooky door upstairs that we couldn't unlock could you use your awesome newfound key to
help us get through it to explore the rest of the stuff i didn't know there was a locked door upstairs
so yeah i'd be happy to do that it's even magically locked or in pitter patters up thurston what are these
eggs those eggs are left by jamie for you what are they uh plus one egg bonus fantastic everyone
take an egg all right oh we all get the egg bonus now well okay so i will i haven't entered these in
because i haven't entered all of the rock grind stuff yet but uh yes if you all want you can all
take and you can remind me of this uh you can take a uh this is from our new pdf the
larders of outset which you can get on our patreon i swear i'm these fuckers can these
fuckers can afford the exceptional there the the chirurgens ovum um which is a um item you can
spend one action to eat it and you get a plus one item bonus on your next attack roll perception
check saving throw or skill check made within the next 10 minutes and if you are sickened um you
may attempt a fortitude save as though retching without spending an action
oh aren't takes an egg and just it just crunches on it like no anything just and just yolk
you're just eating yeah it's a delicious immediately get an egg bonus oh also um it must be referred to as
an egg bonus i am the special properties on this item per urndale are the item bonus provided by this
item must be referred to as an egg bonus or the effect immediately expires
you hear that yep egg bonus said in character egg bonus is now canon in one of our pdfs you're welcome
is tannhauser not liking this idea um i think what tannhauser is thinking is that baldrick might be
in a cult but in order to uh maintain um revolutionary unity he'll unscrew the hose on his mask there'll be
a vacuum sound and just the whole head just and then he'll put the hose back on egg power horrifying
holy so where are you going uh now so you you enjoy your eggs that i'm keeping my egg for a minute
i'm going to the main floor or the top floor we're going um we were going for that door that was locked
right yeah to the door so i am going i i preloaded this scene we'll see it now i preloaded a long time
ago okay there we go uh so you are on the main floor there are the two locked doors spoiler alert you
have a key for them so i'll unlock them should you choose to open yes i do choose to open it with
the door key all right i sensed incredible magic coming from the other end we're likely in for one
hell of a fight so keep yourselves prepared all right prepared is my middle name does someone have
king's buff king's buff blessing a mite yeah get those raid buffs where the is the shaman and what
totems are you dropping we got oh fuck we already we had our food bonus we ate our raid food
you got your egg bonuses yeah yeah you can also eat it in combat for an action to get you or in turn
on your tank stance okay where is rahua rahua go oh sorry i'm i'm applying my buff right now it
will take you are the worst priest
i thirst if you would like to wait for it to actually proc i could wait but it might wait
longer than you i'm sure it'll go off once we get inside no no i'm dps i'll be waiting a while if we
don't go in all right so to send it to our intrepid band of chucklefuck or sorry our destined band of
chucklefuck heads up the stairs to the main floor carrying up the the double curved stairway to the
top floor of doug sandlin house there are two doors our band has decided to take the rightmost door and
opened it to which i'm sure erndale was about to say we open the door and i see a
fog gate um oh no in the in the passage so as you open the door you see this gate of
fog in front of you and this looks incredibly incredibly similar to the fog gate that appeared
on the door when you fought the drowned devoted in the temple underneath the sinkhole
hold on i gotta find a side of grace give me a second shhh we've done enough friends uh are you
like are you like like seriously volley are you like no no okay just i just look directly at the
camera you're in the know right and then i have to move forward hey wait hang on hey thurston before we
do that i go over to this one and open it up yeah do it up wow it's also fog it's also a fog
uh hey volley roll me a d20 why because you're my favorite that's a 20 it's a 20 as you have that
like a loud moment of i need a sight of grace which you know makes no sense in the context of this world
but sure um you have this flash to that fountain you passed by and that like body of water
water that just had some kind of similarity to the same body of water you encountered
in the temple volley just steeples her hands together and goes
ah shit yeah what you remember the fountain
yes technically baldrick and ruhu never saw the fountain because they came to another name
just just trust us there was a fountain
there's a fountain in the courtyard that water looked eerily similar to what we encountered underground
where orrin and i woke up so i guess if shit goes south we'll wake up in a fountain not the first
time i've woken up in a fountain
let's not assume that will be the case and just in case baldrick will retrieve from his uh from the
party loot the nebulous objective which we have uh the scroll of mossy weapon okay
i'm just gonna have that for a bit um i'm gonna give a few moments here first of all like you see
there's two doors there's two quote-unquote fog gates do you want all of you to be at one fog gate
do you want to split up i feel like we should probably split up to start just in case we walk in and
there's an immediate aoe attack this isn't ff14 no but it is also pathfinder and ship like you know
fireball spells or whatever exist orin come with me to the left-hand side okay uh i'm gonna pass the
scroll on to rahua so rahua can cast spell because i can't cast spell yep oh hey baldrick
let's volley go in in front of you yep all right don't worry i'll protect you baldrick yeah it's
appreciated mr tannhauser i want to i want to do this like before uh i was going to say this is the
time if you want to buff for the raid boss yeah please go ahead i ain't got nothing that can be used
for this i would like to cast the spell oh i'm gonna do a backflip or place his hand on uh tannhauser's
arm and certain good like he's like here this will help you navigate in case there's multiple floors and
he will cast spider climb on tannhauser which basically means um you you practically have the
ability of spider-man of climbing around so excellent yeah so basically you gain climb speed equal to
your speed so you basically just easily go up places or if you want to get up a pillar and all
that why thank you orin and for my own buffing i am going to activate shield um and then i am going
to also activate my own internal quantum singularity engine and you and benefit from the laughing shadow
arcane cascade okay so
i assume you're going to do the dramatic walk through the fog gates together yep may i uh
yes for us yeah absolutely rahua please what are you buying uh first am i allowed to is that scroll
i was just kidding remind me am i allowed to apply that to a party's weapon how does that okay so i will
pull this up if you want to now now remember like asterisk this is only applicable to um
this is only applicable to like creatures that have the rot subtype right so okay so it's an
offensive spell it's it's it's an ability that like you might want to confirm if you're fighting
something something uh i'm just posting it here um apparently i posted is rahua but sure um so this
is a spell it lasts it takes two actions to cast and it lasts for a minute on a single weapon so you can
like put it on a weapon so for example i wouldn't say cast it before you go in because you don't know
what you're fighting yet or what what threat is beyond there but
you can um cast it like during combat if you're like oh shit this is a rotten foe uh you could put
it on like tan hauser's weapon or vali's weapon uh if it's appropriate uh and that will anything that
has weakness to moss which is generally anything that's rotten that will apply to
you could cast it in advance and like burn the scroll and use it in advance
it's kind of up to you if you want to take the risk if what you think you're fighting is wrong
gotcha so i will i will hold off on casting that immediately and we'll wait to see what is inside
first however i do have one more thing i can actually do though and uh bro who is gonna
essentially just stand still take a power stance as he begins to glow with a radiant white light
as here like this what sounds like a the din of chittering glass gradually like intensifying as white
light manifests around his body with armor plates very geometric in nature and i'm going to cast
manifest soul forge armament because i have spirit armor i have hardly because you said it was okay
no it is okay that's not what i'm laughing about i just open your character sheet and why is your gender
character slash pronoun like listed as he coming
why did you just see why you are about to witness the strength of tree knowledge you're about to
witness the world's strongest gender reveal all right i mean i've been calling him he the entire time
yes yes please save me from he coming the speaker uh drag that spell effect shield when you cast build
in the chat box drag that on your character so actually give you the buff yeah i think it gives
you a little effect too doesn't it that when you cast it does the effect just uh you'll see spell effect
a little rectangle there just drag that onto your token that'll give you shield will update your ac
and everything automatically oh yeah here i got i got you yeah if you want to do it there you go i got it
all right our intrepid or sorry our destined band of chucklefox yeah enters the fog
and let's take our break here and we'll come back and like oh my god we'll be right back everybody
don't go away and we're back
yeah hello everybody erndale said i was deriving sexual pleasure from this upcoming
literally everything you do when it comes to inflicting pain on us i cannot take any other way
i will i will right wait wait hold on i'm sorry before we continue chat do you know a good substitute
to use and jerk chicken in place of scotch bonnet peppers please make a comment on it on this twitch
stream all right continue i'll send the comments below and on the youtube poison club talk club talk
club talk club talk club talk club talk kill yeah rule
you got worse all right zoran because i wait for you to give me the lead in
our destined band of chucklefuck steps through the gates of fog emerging into a wide chamber and i
mean particularly wide somewhere in the area of 90 feet across as you enter uh in this case it is a
90 foot wide by 655 feet long chamber supported by several pillars of marble it is the same
sort of style that the rest of the chamber is in in the center of this uh this immense room is
about a 20 foot radius circle of stained glass of multi-colored hues reds blues yellows uh embellished
with the the mark of the the pantheon of the first house
the area around the circle is splashed by blood blood that goes on in some cases in patches as long
as 20 feet as wide as 40 feet corpses lain strewn about the area their bodies eviscerated bludgeoned
and brutalized and at the far end of the chamber some 60 feet away from you stands an armored figure
uh a higher ranking member of the tyrant's guild their arms are somewhat placed behind their back
uh a wide flowing white cape and a like slightly smaller skirt of white uh goes underneath them stained with blood
and yes there is no map everyone um and as this figure looks at you their arms are behind their backs
the mask staring out at you crown of spikes and rubies of you uh baldrick and tanhauser can you please
give me a society chicks would love nothing more of course
i'm gonna rock my nanite surge on this one
all right now that oh yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna hero quest for i will also hear requests
okay so they rolled a one and a two balls so wait wait wait wait wait wait please hold on uh
before you roll your hero point uh speaker yeah about one of us rolls and if that fails
then you can have it be me because i spent my nanite surge on it which i can only do once a session
okay so i will have a higher dice ball than you overall sure go ahead that's better hey 28 29 with
it with a 29 i will allow both of you to to recognize but tanhauser you immediately snap to the attention
that this is martinet cardoza the leading member of the tyrant's guild in this portion of the pond's
pilaster by the sinkhole the utmost lady lord of dagsandron house her cape is stained with red her
arms kind of placed behind her back and she looks up the the like silver mask only giving you the sense of
her eyes twitching her eyes twitching beneath ah you have entered
janet cardoza i've been waiting a long time to kill you i see you tanhauser i see you baldrick i see you
valley i see you who i see you oren you have not seen the light as i have seen
but you will
what madness are you talking about even your abases are disgusted with you i have been revealed i have been
shown and behind her i should point out the the wall behind her is this slightly curved glass that
looks out over the sinkhole like some kind of macabre view of this gash in the the makeup of outset and
she strides again her arms behind her back in front of this pillar i am not bad i have been enlightened
then enlighten us as to your newfound wisdom i can see it's made you know better of a ruler
i am no ruler i am simply one who shall show you
the way
and you look around at this and see the corpses on the ground the stains of blood um baldrick you've had
more in direct interactions with this npc um through their their like legislative actions
tanhauser's a bit newer to this district this is entirely out of character for this person
i don't give a good god damn what you think you are i don't care what you think you're doing i
don't care what you hope to do i came here to kill martinet cardoza and guess what you happen to be here
then
you shall try to defeat me as i and her like mask peers between all five of you starting with orrin
and going to volley down the line and i
shall fight you and i shall fight you and at that exact moment
her hands move
from behind her back and her cloak and skirt bristle slightly as they do so
with my guns uh if i can get all of you to roll initiative
you got it dog absolutely great she has guns she does have guns she has a pair of like pistols
i'm assuming i'm not doing stealth for this um no this would be perception sure all that not one on the
initiative baby let's go let's go uh 21 that's not terrible all right holy shit 37 yeah she rolled
a 19 and gets a 37. instead of the initiative order for audio folks uh volley got a 9 bulger got a 21 or and
also got a 21 but i think my dex is higher yeah um rahua got a 25 tenhouser got a 26 and the marionette
got a 37. so at this point the gregorian chanting begins each of you like notice from your peripheral
eyesight behind you the the door you entered from is now covered in a similar uh foggy gate which you
remember from um your your passage earlier the martinet moves she moves to here with a single action she
seems to glide like almost light bounces on the ground
and then she looks at you tanhouser who has called her out in such a despicable manner and she raises
both of her pistols at once
and she fires there he is blast him
i get a feeling i won't be laughing so hard in the moment
i hit you with a 22 she is utilizing her ability paired shot which allows her to fire both of her
attacks um so she makes two attacks basically using um one attack roll and if she hits she combines her
damage so essentially she's going to crit you um just by spending two actions um
she's going to do 35 points of damage to you terrific to baldrick yes baldrick oh i thought
you were shooting at me no no she shoots baldrick oh i'm having a stroke i heard i heard jen hauser as
well okay sorry my apologies i am baldrick um she glides over to baldrick shoots baldrick and then
glides back and then glides back and that is her go tenhauser you are all right this is and you can
see that these two like bullets have impacted uh baldrick sending him staggering um from a very literal shot
right then uh i'm going to begin sprinting forward at my enhanced speeds um since i have laughing shadow activated i believe i have a i need to check if it's a plus five or plus ten speed
uh i can find out for you real quick yeah laughing shadow yeah plus five foot bonus so that should uh
bring me to 35 should be right here i can't move for some reason um oh oh it's because i was doing the
measurement too long ago oh sorry
so one move to get closer that's right and then for the next move
i can sense your agility will give us quite a few problems
allow me to liberate you of it and i am going to activate an arcana cascade that will begin to
slow the molecules in the body for the casting of tanglement
okay uh what is the dc well it's an attack oh okay yeah um
that's pretty cool yeah um
okay yeah make your attack on her let's give it a shot target her and let's see what happens
that's going to be a 23 so it'll be a success so she'll take a minus 10 um speed penalty
i need to ask will that stack with a tanglefoot bag or have i just wasted my time
i think it will actually stack okay that maybe that's good then yeah
uh and that i believe is your goten has yes so you come up uh describe your tanglefoot because she
like both you and her are standing on this uh like second level stained glass um fresco in the
floor here so like how do you tank like is it like vines break out of the glass as the glass kind of
breaks out and begins to grab her nothing nearly so flashy but perhaps something certainly more
tanhousery the internal visor that governs over one of his various um uh essentially points which
as magic can emanate from his internal singularity engine opens wide and it begins flashing this
blue color and this beam will just project over her and like a static will kind of start to surround
her it's a little bit like the static that surrounds tanhouser when he activates his lapping shadow
except for this time his mo her molecules her ability to move is actively being slowed down
by some kind of force of dark physics perfect all right that is the end of your go i believe you
can end your turn tanhouser that brings us to rahua rahua you've seen your ally charge forth
uh onto the blood slick stained glass here what are you doing my friend
rahua okay okay i muted myself i was talking the whole time
i'm going to attempt to heal baldrick before i move up and assist tanhout oh fair okay so are you
going to spend like a two action to heal him to get the bonus or yes i will spend two actions okay so
cast a heal spell if you want to drop that in chat just so pete can see yeah they even updated the heal
one in foundry so it'll even have a dedicated button for you now so nice
i lied oh
all my other ones it has it so it's weird but yeah dirty rotten poop boy
1d8 plus eight yeah so 1d8 plus eight if you want to roll that on me dog nice i will uh
god i have to click like alt and click is that it uh shift click on heal shift click okay yeah i'll
just add the extra there uh yeah so you manage to like heal baldrick um with your anarchic energies
if you want to describe how that healing looks and then move yourself with your last action or whatever
other action so given that rahua's soulforge armor is up at this point his spells get flavored a little
bit differently now because this just ethereal i guess just energy beyond space and time is just
surging through him so he puts his hand on tanhauser's shoulder as you see the various bits of
damage just get leached out of him as if they're being sucked into holes in reality itself as if the
damage never really happened it isn't perfect but it's just correcting this errant mistake that he
has deemed did not need to occur in the first place fair enough you mean baldrick i think he's a team
did i say tanhauser oh my god it doesn't exist everybody wants to help to hand house or kill him
now after baldrick is healed up uh or who is going to be in charging reports to use both movement
so you move up clanking onto the uh the plate glass here of the stained image
and my turn all right or and you've seen your allies move up you've seen baldrick is healed but
baldrick still looks fairly wounded what are you going to do my friend uh oran is going to rush up
to 15 feet this way okay you got a little little burpee going and then he is going to cast
the protector tree hopefully not burning this time he's gonna go oh it's like it's like it's like rules of
nature kabam and then like a tree comes in through all the metal bars throughout the stained glass floor
that they're on and a tree pops up right beside tanhauser over to his right there or actually i'm
going to have it um the top right there oh or like yeah yeah i'm sorry let me yeah okay yeah so you'll just
walk up real quick rolls of nature and the tree just comes up like and uh it was just kind of getting
between both of them so if anyone gets a melee range with this person and i'm gonna cut in general and
around it they'll get protected i'm gonna i'm gonna take artistic liberty here i'm gonna say that the
tree is actually a stained glass representation of a tree like it comes out it's a tree that's made of
stained glass of all the different colors of the rainbow yeah just like is this like 3d growth that
comes out of the glass underneath you all right that is the end of oran's turn baldrick my man
um real quick i'm gonna take the last uh lesser healing potion okay so she hits me again i'm going
down so i need to make sure that doesn't happen 2d8 uh plus five wasn't it yeah i shall remove the last
one oh
oh shit there you go 19 uh so i will mark that on you as healing uh baldrick is being a little more uh
animated than he usually is uh he is actively like sticking his finger into the wound and digging out
the bullet as he quaffs so that way it is just not in true bullets you were hit by two bullets
he can only get one really right now because the other one is still there from a little bit of
health but he is he is a lot more active and animated and he is he is primed and ready he he wants to
take care of this and he wants to be done with this garbage at least at least as far as car does is confirmed
mm-hmm so let's see here uh let me move up how far do i move i go i'll be 25 that's five less because
of my armor yes so 20 so i'll go there
about there uh and i will draw and throw a tanglefoot bag that should be in range yes because
of feeds okay targeting i want to pin her down i want to stop her from moving even if that means
she like blows more shooting us that's a little that's preferable absolutely actions draw and throw
strike ken baldrick hits you with the tanglefoot bag no not the two critical miss a critical miss you
have a hero point baldrick nope no no no saving that okay so your tanglefoot bag goes wide um as she
she seems to like even though she has been slowed by the tanglefoot spell of tannhauser she's still
very very agile um yeah all right if you want to end your turn baldrick and that brings us
i believe to our last i'm just thinking about what i need to do for sure
ali
oh no that's me yes uh all right i'm going to all right so my speed is 30 right now and i don't
have panache um so 30 will get me here um my tumble through is not enough to actually
it's tumble through up to your movement correct uh so you are wanting to acrobatics correct so you're
wanting to um yeah i can tumble through it looks like this angle will let me move a second 30 straight
up to your speed so if you succeed yes if i succeed however however remember the enemy's square is still
counted as difficult oh it is counted as difficult that's the one problem yeah i wouldn't well i can
make it here yeah so you could like just tumble that way um oh yeah but i wouldn't go through her
yeah but you would jump you would still generate panache right yeah remember you can always tumble
forward and back yeah so like you can basically move to there you won't get the flank because there's
no one flanking but regardless you'll still be able to like basically you'll be able to move in
make an acrobatics check yeah the the reason to tumble through would be to get her flat-footed but
that's probably not gonna happen so yeah the tree does not flank with her sadly yes unfortunately um
oh why am i stunned if i duct tape a knife to the tree will be done enough i mean it's like like yeah
sure if you go up and spend the action and make a narrative declaration sure
okay uh yeah i'm gonna just uh make my acrobatics
do it
17. all right so that tumble through is opposed by the enemy's reflex dc so let's see how this
asked would that be a tumble through if i'm not going through her space um i guess not because
you're just is just making dc what 15 acrobatics right yeah yeah yeah so you're good yeah you get
she's not gonna be flat-footed but yeah say lovey yeah you can still do the finisher absolutely target
and make the attack my friend all righty let's get all right yeah yeah that'll work 27 you'll hit
give me a straight up damage all right damage okay i've got finisher checked that should go through
very good the first the first strike on cardoza to 16 points as you tumble uh through the the glass
like cardoza's clearly um taking note of tanhauser the tree the the entangling effects the bomb from
baldrick uh you managed to like dive through and take a stab and do a do a good amount of damage
all right give me the guns lady and nobody gets hurt
no no we're hurting her all right um is that your is that your is that your statement my friend
my volley that's my go no man those are your last words now she's gonna give you the guns
she's she's she's not all right so if you want to end your turn valley
so i am currently um i'm currently this will be my last round so she is minus 10 feet
so i believe she could only move to here which she will as she rushes away from you valley okay
you stab her and rather than like turning to face you which you would assume
she runs away and you hear in this haughty
voice this absolutely arrogant tone this huh i shall show you the light and the barrels of my guns
and she like dashes forward heading south away from you valley and actually kind of like
slides on her knees without going prone and standing up and in a move that could only be
be described as reaper-esque from um from overwatch she gets to fire
and she unleashes a torrent with her pistols targeting everyone within 15 feet of her
that's awesome except volly so i will start with baldrick none of these are affected by her
multiple attack penalty so she gets a single shot off at each of you god that is funny volly is now out
of range um she does uh but she only gets a single shot so she will start with ten or sorry with
baldrick um okay so she will hit you baldrick for nine points oh sorry
shit uh we'll hit you for nine points now as she does this she's firing so fast you can see the
barrels of her pistol are glowing hot so she actually does an additional d6 points of fire
damage with this shot so only one so she's only going to do 10 points to you baldrick so as she
fires this uh this pistol hits you and she does 10 points to you rahua she strikes at you next again
not taking up her multiple attack penalty here because she's you know basically an aoe bullet she's
she's a broken boss encounter um she critically misses but you know what you know what fam hey uh
zoran can you mark me down a villain point there you go oh i forgot about those thank you um
um i'm gonna re-roll that oh oh so she still misses you rahua uh but she will complicate on that so i
will get to that um so then she goes to orrin
i will hit you orrin just by one um so this will do wow i rolled minimum damage six points of
damage to you then shot past his shoulder yeah and it's like again flaming bullets she's firing so
fast in every direction and then her final shot is on tannhauser
yep she will hit tannhauser indeed she will do 13 points as you are struck by this flaming
bullet now shoot the tree tooth oh yeah actually um sorry the tree so you're hit
by a strike the tree interposes because i'll do this first um the tree interposes from there
the tree does interpose um
yeah you me tell you it works again or yeah i've got it up here so it has ac 10 and 10 hit points so
i think that just kills the tree yeah it kills the tree 10 how to take three yeah so okay so i will
heal you tannhauser then i will do three points of damage to you tannhauser and then i will kill the tree
not the tree the tree is dead the the like stained glass trees as as as it get shot the true look at
you tannhauser go i love you why do we give this tree emotions because zoran finds it funny to destroy
cute things isn't that right zoran the bear yes so as all of this happens um there is like this yeah this
this repeated volley of shots now but there is also a complication um look out mr president
oh okay so uh i'm gonna use the wrath of uncle blaze by portal jumper rights thank you for this
complication she is going to take persistent fire damage as a result of this uh i'll set this all up
in a sec but basically like as she's firing she actually sets ablaze herself um and so this is
going to be a little bit of persistent fire damage which i will roll at the end of her turn to see if
it goes away she'll still take it but whatever it will go away but she will still take uh the same fire
damage that she would do on her thing which is one so she takes a point of fire damage from that
complication as she is firing so much that um she actually catches on fire briefly before it goes out
now before the end of her round i want you to know the area around her as you can see on the map within
15 feet of her is now supercharged the particulates in the air seem to be like combusting as she's firing
so much ten hauser you're up interesting so does that mean that it is likely to be uh a hazard for us
ten hauser you're up i see hold on before he takes this i hate to steal your thunder here for like
one absolutely go for it yeah please so because she missed me that trigger is reflecting spirit on
my soul forged armor so tell me what that does if you want to link it my friend absolutely let's see if
it allows me to i don't think i can because it's this big fucking block of text let's find out
oh god if you just want to tell me you can tell me too it might make it easier so yeah if an enemy's
physical range attack misses you you can use your reaction to immediately attempt a range strike
against the attacker using the projectile that missed oh hell yeah so because she missed me for who
who has this moment of like matrix-esque slowed down time watching the bullet whiz by him
looking at her dead in whatever the eye holes of her mask puts his one arm back you see just as
like as the bullet just disappears and he holds out his other arm towards her as the bullet reappears
in front of him from his hand and launches towards her okay yes my man okay i want to check this
because i'm like i have questions about this ability it's cool sure i just have questions um
it's if it's a physical ranged attack so do you consider the bullets physical
oh they they're definitely physical um so which what was this under this was reflecting spirit right
yes it's under manifest so far jarmut it's just under the feet it's
gotcha okay um
so you make a range so roll me a d20 and we'll see if this is gonna matter
oh
18 on the die okay so 18 on the die rahua my broski um you have a plus
you're gonna hit so i'll just do the damage of her weapon on her uh just give me a sec here
you redirect the bullet to her and do her 10 points of damage all matrix style
all right as you take the bullet around now again the air here is entirely supercharged
we're staying right um and then it comes to tanhauser you're you're up my friend okay um
i have a question sure um if i were to use burning hands right now yes
would i potentially be dissolving any of the supercharged air um um not not quite um it's like
swirling around the only thing that might remove it would be like a wind effect okay well in that
this would be this would be for all of those of you who are listening the one time where gust of
wind is useful it was useful last time i mean it died at the end but i got it correct yeah exactly
right uh but no like you'd burn up a section of it but because it's swirling you could tell like
now you could like cast like you could cast um burning touch and then like back out you're at the
very periphery yeah that's not really worth it so instead i'm going to be ballsy um and i just have
like a bet with jamie i'm like speaker will have two options when i use this ability he will be like
fuck that i don't want to see what thirsty is gonna do with some aoe attack or i'm gonna run right in
and be like hey thirsty what you got with this alien i i listen man old habits pie hard um i'm
going to dimensionally one sec one sec whoa whoa timeout timeout timeout timeout did you just say
old habits pie hard i did zorn give tannhauser a hero point he fucking deserves it
you have now have one carry on thank you thurston all right uh i'm going to dimensional assault
teleport in front of this ridiculous oaf um and brave the firestorm
does anything bad happen to me does not all right then in a scintillating glow of quantum energy
i'm just going to proudly proclaim they've tried before fire doesn't burn me and i am going to make
a sickening strike a spell strike with my excorciator excorciator that's what i said yeah excoriator
the exfoliator the exfoliator you will hit excellent let's roll some damage
so that's four plus one okay so i will
so five on the start and then the spell uh all engines on alert all different nozzles rise from
tannhauser as he becomes this glowing electrified battery before all at once it releases along his
weapon and channels in to a shocking grasp and i will roll my damage now
last
for 26 damage yeah was that uh yeah because you get plus one because you're casting this as a
as a second i'm casting is i'm upcasting it okay so it is a second level spell so on a hit you do 12
why are you doing three i'm just checking why you're doing uh because i upcast it and so it adds it goes
from having 2d12 damage to having three so you're casting this is a third levels no it's a first level
spell on a hit target takes 2d12 yeah so it should be 2d12 shouldn't it no it's 2d12 by default and then
you upcast it so it gets an additional 1d12 and that will happen for each one is it a second level
oh is it a first level yeah ignore me i see why i scum yeah yeah electricity crackles over her body
and i believe she'd also be taking some persistent electricity yes i'm dragging it onto her
like your order will she will uh the crackling electricity goes on her now
and uh i believe it's rahula
so rahula will target the martinet because my screen got minimized and i didn't tell it to be
minimized so i'm going to scold after this turn
and looking at the martinet now burning as a result of her own actions
he will hold his hand out to her and just utter with a noticeable metallic tinge to his voice
different than his normal candor and just speak fall and i will cast bone shaker ooh doodah
what do i have to make for that oh a fortitude save
it's a dc 19 fortitude save get fucked i mean i will rule a critical
there is so much combat happening i have no idea where it starts and where it shall end but all i
know is there will be death you cast bone shaker and like as the electricity's arcing over tannhauser's
come close the head turns towards you and rahula you see these eyes staring through the desk the death
mask of the martinet cardoza and they stare into your singular monocle orb thing and then turn back to
tannhauser because pathetic
that's about all i got you still have a move right yeah i'm actually do you want to move out of the
area of like combustible this let me just make sure or do you want to move to flank or
i will move to flank in fact okay
i'm getting ready for the aoe i decided to stand on cool
okay and if you want to end your turn roo
10 or sorry orin you're up okay orin is going to but make sure my
here with your death ray orin is going to back it up
and say in purpose yeah oh the humanity as he claps his hands and a thunder tempest storm
begins to swirl around her lightning and a giant gust of wind swells around her which i'm hoping
to convince you that's a good amount of wind to dissipate the thing i'll dare to declare if i need to
uh it is not
bullshit i'll never declare it's enough
break the rules all right all right you want to
there's a swirling storm of violet winds that's fair are you narratively declaring you want to
dissipate it with yes cool i will spend a villain point to like disregard that bullshit mark me down too
that's right i can use them for that um
me and myself
but i have to make a reflex save for her right yes i will lose
i will ignore your damage all right nothing happens then you know my turn
uh that was that i had two villain points so i should be at one right
nope used one previously
didn't i say you said no you asked me to mark down two is exactly what you said
oh no no okay okay okay
so and so you would have zero if you said you wanted to use two to do that
nah i was gonna say i was gonna mark one for one get three
yeah i should have down two yeah i thought i had two left hello
i'll get you two left you said you wanted to use two
here how about this i'll just leave you with one and they'll be there
yeah because i negate yours with my one and be like no no um because the air is so supercharged
uh but that brings us to baldrick who i'm sure will like end my fun anyways
yeah sure thing dude
anyway i cast uh i cast alchemist fire moderate
actually i had a question how much am i looking at here there's some stuff left
uh if i can i use my alchemical crossbow as a crossbow
to deliver like a bomb just like a just like a bolt
because i have bolts i can fire from this thing yeah i'd allow it
okay okay in that case i'm gonna save and just shoot okay drawing crossbow
loading crossbow action load and fire firing crossbow
last
oh that'll hit give me damage hit him with a dinner blaster oh my god
blast oh you're a dick no it's skirted on that seven what a waste uh you have this like perfect
shot lined up and then you fire and it goes
fucking stupid dice whatever it's the side of the armor the electrified armor of martinet cardoza
if you want to end your turn baldrick yeah yeah i'm on it back to not doing anything
volley my friend okay uh well let's actually see here uh before before before this baldrick you could
have moved you're currently no i needed to know everything oh nevermind okay okay how funny uh well
i'm going to uh i'll once more do a tumble 30 feet okay
rolling politics uh to see if i don't fall on my or uh acrobatics rather if i don't fall on my face
i think i think that's just enough one sec let us refer to the advanced player's guide
oh advanced advanced i don't know if i'm powerful enough for that advanced um
um so in uh in this case you would have to uh this is the trick you actually to benefit from it
you'd have to actually move through their square so oh uh which would be yeah which would be yeah
i was about to say which would be opposed by there so you do not get panache like martinet cardoza
is a very agile yes okay yes indeed uh all right that is fine that's my first action and i don't okay
hold on let me double check the wording on faint okay that is an action a full action to think yes
so you could like move faint attack yeah uh but i need to get out of this uh goop uh there so i'm
just gonna do a normal attack uh no panache okay uh
three so a 14 total you miss my friend it's not worth hero pointing i don't have a finisher
i'm going to pull the fuck out yep i'm gonna i'm gonna bail so the problem is we have her like
sticking around for another round i was really hoping my crossbow wouldn't just like do fucking one
i'm not i'm not gonna argue for you wasting a hero point i just uh we're gonna get i don't think
i can kill her is the thing with just a normal strike is that the end of holly that will
unfortunately it's just the end of holly the end of holly she just dies she explodes yeah okay
so um at the beginning of uh martinet cardoza's turn the air explodes
so
oh gosh i'm gonna see if clicking this works we'll see i don't know if it'll work uh okay um i think
maybe speaker and baldrick you can click on that dc 22 reflex button maybe this brand i clicked it
no that didn't work okay uh both of you just basically baldrick and um
baldrick and uh tenhouse reflex saves at the beginning of her turn as the air explodes yes at
the beginning of wait what basically at the beginning of martinet cardoza's turn okay so just roll
it now roll a reflex save okay thank you yeah it's a free effect at the beginning of her turn
all right i got a 22 27 okay so both of you succeed so both of you will take half damage so for
tanhauser you will take half of this and baldrick you will take half of this um so tanhauser rounding up
ten now i've got it and okay uh so with that all said uh the martinet will go
you are being very smart um
because from where she is she can only hit a couple of you so she is going to move to there
i think she's going to move to here
yeah uh she's going to move to here where she will do the same thing she will
she's not in a grid glide what was that she's not in a grid you put her like in between grids
she glides along and begins to fire again and you hear again her haughty voice i shall bring all of
you down into the light so that you may see and she begins firing again in the air uh she will start
with tanhauser that's her guns go wild once again boring ingress let's see then that's a one yes
uh mark my last villain point down i can't let speaker win i have a question yes you can negate our hero
points can i negate your villain point um i was like oh i've opened the door for that
you speaker yeah we didn't we didn't really speak about it so yeah sure you wanna you wanna you wanna
you wanna one for one me dog yeah absolutely okay cool there you go now now now it's all an economy
we've it all up no forever fine i love it this is why we gotta make things up on the fly i'm shooting
baldrick bang i hit baldrick oh thanks
still not terribly bad rolling like moderately shitty damage okay i'm not really being able
to tell that you're rolling shitty damage i'm being honest with you shoot volley
i like that i'll one shy of a crit too
well fine okay um i'll do 10 more points to volley
and maybe just maybe i can end our favorite tree boy hardly but go ahead
oh that's actually a good roll i'll do 42 points of damage to our tree boy yeah i'm down
you jinxed it no he's not down jinx it you're fine look oh i know i lied i'm fine you have a ton of
health to describe i forgot i have 54 health like subtly glides away from tanhauser and continues to
fire the barrage ceaseless as she like like light light light as she fires and fires and fires hitting
baldrick hitting volley and just smashing rahua in the eye and you can hear i have seen the light that
once rule the city and she'll one day rule again um as she unloads and again the air around her is
entirely supercharged you have a complication my friend i do have a complication on our dear friend
mr tanhauser so let's find out
as i'm trying to like make sure i don't double up
i'm trying to find one this you could you could just have a double up it would be the
most sensible one in this situation i'm just no no i just want to make sure i'm uh
that one is not appropriate because it would actually fuck you guys over more and i don't
want to do that um here we go
oh god okay okay okay okay fuck this we're doing it we're doing it
this is from wonko the wise everybody wonko it's called the violence escalates
a citizen of outset sees the violent combat taking place and is enthralled grabs the
nearest object that could be used as a weapon and joins the fray i'm gonna add a civilian to this
combat uh uh civilian you're gonna get a civilian friend here oh my god um like oh yeah it's happening
all right um you're the mouse guy i'm just gonna use grandma sweet who comes in with a chair
oh no if you leave grandma out of this it's not actually grandma sweet it's just like a citizen who
comes in you're taking down the tyrants guild i'm with you with a chair you hear the
command and conquer general's promotion noise cooperator let me solo her has joined
okay here i'm gonna make i'm gonna make speaker insufferable
the revolution runs in the fucking christ the fire rises speaker grows to an immense size and goes
yeah my my head is now uh six inches larger than it was at the start of the session
i have uh dealt my three points of persistent electrical damage and i'm passing things over to tan
hauser please i need villain points come on now okay get out of first time tan hauser sees his
opportunity rushes in you think your star is in a scent then fine
burn to embers like the stars and i'm going to bring forth my weapon make a crunching attack upwards
i'm gonna make the spell strike ladies and germs do it up do it up tan hazard let's let's see what happens
yeah 24 you hit do it do it end phase one please eight damage would you like to do the spell damage
i would love to do the spell damage and i am going to just she thinks that fire is her master absolutely
not fire belongs to the people and it will rise with the revolution and i'm gonna get some produce flame
damage nice okay the nine dots of that right i'm just gonna put this wall of text here uh as you do so
she immediately teleports um which causes her uh flaming um bullshit to end um but it does explode in
the air i did have a note for that so that's cool um can you give me a reflex save because the well
actually uh baldrick and tan hauser give me reflex saves you got it uh again
mm-hmm 24 okay tan hauser you will succeed uh 21 you will fail so tan hauser you will take
uh six points of fire damage baldrick you will take
14 points of fire damage that will knock you out
fucking great i didn't even get a chance to deal with that nope uh you will go to dying uno
um as this happens as you strike her she like teleports like there's a flash and she teleports
to the center of this the stained glass mural in the floor and she floats above the ground and you can
see between her armor it begins to glow and to glow and to glow and the explosion around her goes out
and immediately the glass in the center of the floor
statters as it entirely breaks apart um and i'm gonna hope this works as the glass breaks and um
baldrick you're gonna fall down into the next floor that's cool tan hauser you are going to take
an additional 10 points of bludgeoning damage unless you have something like feather fall
um i got a grappling hook uh but you don't have an action so um and the rest of the party is up there as
we go down to the main floor as the glass floor breaks and um we're gonna we're gonna quickly go
down to the main floor i'm gonna figure this out one sec here because there's some multiple multiple
floor stuff that's happening wait i do have spider climb does that help uh you want to know what
give me an acrobatics check my friend all righty then thank you yeah i'll allow this very kind
i'm gonna put some people in place 25. okay i'm gonna allow you to take no damage but like
basically flump down to the ground um yeah just like running on shards of glass yeah yeah now again
the the floor here is pretty uh pretty glassy i won't lie um as in like there's shards of glass and
you can tell that these shards of glass probably act as caltrops um you know for reasons okay so that's
gonna happen she's gonna end up there uh and then baldrick's gonna fall down as a lifeless corpse
but i won't have him take any more damage sorry i'm jumping between scenes a lot just to make sure
that i've got people okay you say lifeless corpse am i dead or am i not dead you're dying okay thank you
i needed you to clarify yeah yeah um and as she falls down tanhauser you're the only one to see this
as you fall into the main floor and as you do you land in this gala room full of people with these
brilliant eyes who all turn towards uh the martinet whose skin is now incandescent and burning and as
this happens all of them come bust their corpses littering the ground in ashes
and as they do this their screams yell and suddenly the pillars in this room begin to radiate with
light shining around wisps of which connect to the now shining martinet that stands floats in the room
any flesh gone instead replaced by a brilliant absolute light
good luck and uh that's the end of your turn uh my my my dude tanhauser if you would like to
um end that uh i can't because there's no one acting i know this is really weird
because like doing it over multiple scenes is really awkward so here's what i'm going to do
i'm going to move some people over and i'm going to make this kind of work uh one sec
the tanhauser we have volley who's technically up we have we already have our tokens at the bottom
right of the map there i i do but i also just need to yeah make sure that i've got all of you and
i've got to have the right i'm just going to make sure i've got you in relatively the right positions
okay um so i'm just gonna do that boop boop uh and then i'm gonna give you like 20 feet up
uh 20 feet up and 20 feet up and then i will uh put all of you into combat
and uh i'm just gonna roll all of this but then i'm just gonna update it so whatever
ignore all these rules i'm doing because i'm just gonna update them anyway
uh because i'm gonna just update them based on what we got here so okay uh
okay cool uh
okay um so i believe that's gonna bring us to rahua you rahua you have seen this now
um you have seen the martinet has smashed the glass in the center of this uh this area
and at this point you can peer down and see the tanhauser and baldrick's corpse are on the
the main level what are you doing my friend how many feet down
our baldrick it is a 20 foot jump which means unless you have some kind of way of like repelling
grappling whatever downing um you're going to take 10 points of bludgeoning damage from a fall
that is okay because i will not jump down immediately then so
rahua will look down and see this horrific turn of events
this is not so good baldrick and we'll hold out his hands towards baldrick and
just a surge of blinding white energy will blow in him as he casts stabilize
ooh okay what's the range of stabilize it is 30 feet but i also have reached that
oh hell yeah so you're gonna like stabilize your friend with this is that the uh the general plan
that is the intent yeah sure i uh i'm uh this is i am still like updating those initiatives
uh
okay and then i go to combat and then that has happened tanhauser has technically gone okay so
yeah you stabilize uh baldrick so you baldrick you are no longer dying but you are however unconscious
yes all right um at least until like such point as we uh
figure out some stuff so you're no longer dying however you are unconscious
okay cool uh and that is because reach spell is a two action right rahua well it's a base of 30 feet
so i don't think i necessarily need to use reach spell on this one if he's 30 feet down i should
be able to reach yeah yeah fair fair enough oh it's base yeah base 30 it's base 30 okay so you cast
and then are you gonna like jump down or uh i am going to actually i'm like i don't want to use
that probably should just by virtue of tanking i'm going to use a healing potion miner
okay i take take the healing potion roll a d8 and we'll heal yourself
fuck ah that's a bad healing potion that that's store owner yeah your your rules have been a little
bit iffy thurston but ours have i would say been a little bad i'm okay with this uh all right
if you want to end your turn and bring it over to orin i've been debating how to
there because i can get down safely because you're you're technically up 20 feet and you're looking
down and you see her uh also i suppose i should do this because i forgot um anyone who isn't baldric
i need you to make me a a and i'm just double checking i need you to make me a fortitude save
so anyone who isn't baldric so volley or who uh or an intent house or give me uh would you would
you consider this versus diseases poisons or radiation no okay oh wait you said volley is or is
not volley is okay because it's it's 120 feet 28 i like how on the rolls is orin 27 10 29 20 or 28 then
29 rahua and then volley didn't get 30 to get 12. are you happy with that result uh not exceptionally so
no would you like to her point it i'm gonna her point it well however we rolled to her point and
that's around that'll still be a fail but you know that's okay okay um so the dc on this is 24
um if you succeed you're good if you are if you fail like volley did you are dazzled volley um
um and so if you um critically failed you would have been blinded so that's good uh dazzled basically
uh means you uh all opponents have a like five percent miss chance or sorry a dc5 uh flat miss
chance from you so like one through four you miss them um as you're like you got sparkles in your eyes
because she blows out incandescent lead before she falls all right that brings us back to orin orin
what do you want to do i'm going to do a reach spell ability which takes one action and i'm going to
cast a two action heal on baldrick sure
that
eight
there you go 13 total to baldrick
that is the end of orin's turn go on i got you
all right baldrick you are back to consciousness you our are currently prone
oh i'd like to get out yeah so uh this brings us to you what do you want to do baldrick
uh well since i didn't get flashed by the blast i'm i can see and again i want to point out there
are like the pillars in this room which now are like siphoning light into her you see all of this
this yeah i know i know now now that i'm awake i guess uh i don't know i'll just remove prone for
now and not even remotely close i'll just move up to it i guess and that'll be my turn
okay so you get up and then move away yeah i'm moving if it'll let me if it'll let me here we go
and you see that around the pillar is this like luminous script that you can't need no i'm not
worried about that i'm just gonna blow it up when i can do anything again so end of turn if you'd like
to end your turn yep valley
i muted myself okay um all right so i'm dazzled oh let me actually double check because i think i
might have a fun thing i can do ooh a fun thing i like a fun thing that you homebrewed
um i'd like hit her with from above
stride twice or attempt to make an acrobatic such tumble through or maneuver in flight you can make
a single melee strike uh okay so if i stride twice
i mean i can't this is like a hole
um would i make it to her if i like leapt over oh absolutely okay you're wanting to use that like
stride twice yeah yeah like i'm assuming you kind of want to like land let's see here like heel
yeah yeah yeah totally uh and i'm going to to plunging attacker do it up this is dark souls after
all um absolutely you gotta get that fucking asylum demon with that plunging attack otherwise
exactly um so how would i go about doing that is it just acrobatics to jump and maneuver
um all right so let's take a look at what you got with this ability here so
yes they pull up your feats here uh so your sky pirate dedication you get from above uh either
stride twice or attempt an acrobatics check to tumble through you stride twice that's fine um
um one additional yeah okay so you basically just make a melee attack okay so i'm not going to be
able to get panache out of this is what i'm hearing uh you could uh but you if you want to you would
like dive through her square so you'd have to make the acrobatics and your options are not get panache
and get the extra damage dice or get panache and the extra damage dice but have to make a check that
you could possibly fail with no hero points
you know skit uh you know nothing ventured nothing gained uh i say right check versus opposed by her
reflex dice chat please give me your energy they gotta give you a lot of a lot of dollar points for that
no so you do not get panache my friend you fail you bump in front of her oh sag all right well i'm
just gonna like try to tumble through and instead she backhands you with one of her pistol daggers and
you kind of stumble you can still take an attack though all right yeah no biscuit for me no biscuit
so no extra damage from the plunging attack um in this case i will let you have the
bonus from the plunging attack all right thank you you're just make a regular attack and we'll roll
the extra yeah yeah all right uh if you hit because you know which you miss is on a 23 yeah her ac's
better now because she's shiny oh she's shiny she's shiny oh we're hitting form so yeah like this is phase
two fuckos so uh do you want to describe how volley reacts to this series of events for us
yeah volley is just going to take a running leap from the second floor and kind of
eye is still uh filled with light now kind of now like burning and like black spots are starting to
cover her eyes brings the rapier down and tries to plunge it onto her head but kind of goes just
wide and stumbles backwards kind of falling back into tan hauser ah yourself
oh my eyes
that's my turn
all right that's um
where's the civilian uh the civilian will will be like don't worry i haven't forgot about you and
will jump down thank you thank you hulky for reminding me she's gonna jump down in and
immediately die because she has less than 20 hit points
god damn it speaker way to take my thunder
your next next thing you're going to say is she jumps in and dies of fall damage
gets a complication only to immediately undo it
wow urndale wow come on you know a a real gm would have given her a jet pack
here
no no no
a real gm would have filled her with explosives
okay she's gonna jump down closer to and take the chair attack does she succeed the conceal roll
she does does does she hit you know i'll make her like a ridiculous civilian because you know what
it's a chair
no she misses okay
she comes down with the chair and then
me with the steel chair okay you know what no no hostile gm
fuck you i'm gonna move to here to flank with volley with the chair as the civilian comes down
with the chair now flanking gets the plus two hits
and show me that juicy d2 damage does five points
yeah we did it we love you grandma granny sweet i hope i hope the grandma gets the final of the final
blow before before the fall damage executes that npc are you happy now urndale was that a sufficient
complication to take make me take five points of damage yeah because she would have done that
anyway and then died good excellent um i'm going to i think you passed the dps check i'm gonna go with
the the shining mark she falls and like explodes into glass because there's a lot of broken glass
yeah sure um
such as i'm going i'm going to uh oh oh first of all at the start of her round all that damage that
the civilian with the chair did seems to heal as the light coming from the pillar seems to rejuvenate
the shining martinet terrific and then she raises one of her pistols and it appears as though she no
longer has a requirement from uh for bullets
as when she fires a blinding light comes out from her pistol
the line attack this line piece um as this like brilliant light blasts out from her pistol
and um can i get a volley and tannhauser to make me a reflex save please absolutely you can
uh no i think i just passed it oh that's that's cool okay i don't need that i'm sure
uh 18. okay
30. uh so uh va lee my friend you will succeed tannhauser you will fail
a loss unless you want to spend that hero point tannhauser i am at your point what does happen
one hero point if you want to spend it now my god i'd like to thank the fans i'd like to thank my
mom uh uh one
aha 23. so close to that one okay so uh volley is going to take half of this and tannhauser's going to
take half of this so volley we're going to take seven points tannhauser you are going to take eight
points that's what's her first action and then her second action is to just fire her fucking pistol at
volley oh
um and this
thirster has paused the game funny man i have paused the game pray i do not pause it again
uh and then i shall attack you with the missile
i will hit you for 24 so damn it you're one out of nimble dodge i know and then she will do six
points uh more to as she fires up close at you so she fires this luminous ray and then a like
secondary blast just hits you and causes you to stank her back
bitch the light shall illuminate all uh tannhauser you're up compelling argument however i'm inside
your own um also you notice that the ground around you is still uh fairly luminous i see how interesting
all right the calculus that i was about to run would not function without a hero no way now is that there
so instead
i'm going to do something a little wacky actually uh ignore that move
because i just realized i retreat i i i leave i give up
fuck this thirsty there's no fog wall down here we can leave i gotta i gotta see if the tyrant's
guild is hiring excuse me while we can leave
let's see i don't have very many killer moves right now but we know that these things are somehow healing
her um yes i'm gonna make a hail mary real quick and here's the plan and use my last focus point okay
to teleport to here and i'm going to spend my last second level spell slot
on a little spell called burning hands cool what you're gonna burn i'm going to ah
shit i can't oh no no not that way you can go to the measurement tool and move it around yeah i
assume are you wanting to like burn this pillar i was hoping that i could get more than one because
i thought it was longer than it was no it's 15 feet so yeah it is very dinky so in that case ignore
that i mean you can still do it and we might learn something would you oh god chat chat i regret
saying this but if you give speaker your energy um but like really uh you can't quite do it without
like a narrative declaration or anything so well that's okay because i have something else i can do
i'm going to cast electrical arc to target both of these because that does have a range of 30 feet
and can do it up so let's i guess they have these static objects have to make a save do they critically
fail they do not critically fail they will just fail normally now if you want to roll me some dimaggio
okie dokie it's gonna be nine damage if you want to roll me again
back damage again cool uh you can see that the script on this pillar and this pillar is almost
negligible like sorry sorry i should say i should say the damage on those pillars is so much that there's
like very little left like you can only see tiny bits of the script but it's still filling her up
like like if you had to gauge it on a scale of one to ten you scored a nine out of the ten on damage
that's awesome to hear um i i just wanted you to know that my friend on call gm mr thirsty hellman
himself might i yes my favorite gm in the world by the way was never hostile and he's so kind to me
i want you to know this stat block has been written for like two months you
face carry on would you would you perhaps say would you not agree that it might be reasonable
that the persistent electric damage and fire damage from the finishing move
might remain on our dearest martinette in her new boss phase no that there's a specific there's a
specific boss rule for that so get rekt well just so you know i was being really insincere i end my turn
thank you speaker very good uh who's next uh we have arua it was next berry 63 of course yep good old barry
oh i don't know if i should keep going oh chat chat is very right you could have just applied the egg
bonus could i retroactively apply that egg bonus to see at least on one of the pillars to see what
the hell these things do because you love me so much seems that she's healing less as you egg bonus
one of the pillars oh lovely thank you chat power of the egg bonus
i am a hostile gm rehua please prove that i'm a hostile gm rehua style
so i am gonna
i would like to wait actually do i have an egg was that ed's money in turn
do we all get eggs if you don't have eggs if you didn't eat it immediately like everyone
got it for some reason yeah you've got it yeah rahula have you been holding on to that egg the
whole time of course i have do you just smash that egg into your fit like orb not face orb face orb
face orb orb orb yes he will quaff the egg to obtain the egg bonus good remember you must continue to
refer to it as such or it dissipates or it dissipates yeah that's an important thing
all right i am going to attempt to get down okay
i was assuming you've assuming now that i'm down there on the fight 10 damage
um so you're gonna hop down so you're gonna like take the damage right yes i don't believe
i have anything that can necessarily stop that okay you are like on like life's end as you hop down
are you moving in this oh yes i'm getting the fuck out of there so my friend hulk crow
i'm buying some time because uh-huh you know what this glass kind of counts as because you
weren't teleporting like a fucking manic magus
i am pretty want to guess well seriously seriously seriously speaker i said i i am very
okay okay okay okay good good good um do you want to give me an acrobatics check hulkster i would
love to give you an acrobatics check thurston please please please roll me an acrobatics check
i i adore acrobatics checks oh no the tree is suffering from caltrops he is thank you urndale
for being the gm in the group who's like i see what this fucker's doing
caltrops colon these four-pronged metal spikes can cause damage to a creature's feet
you can scatter caltrops in an empty square adjacent to you with an interact deck
the first creature that moves into the square must succeed a dc 14 acrobatics check hulk is okay what do
you do oh i fucking leave because i'm just barely alive i'm gonna just run back here that wasn't the
right thing i needed to do i'm just gonna run back here and get away from what's going on so move hop
move what are you doing with your last action oh i thought i had to continue moving consume the egg
bonus but no i will continue oh yeah i guess you you did consume egg bonus so yeah that's fair that's
far hide behind a chair and your turn hokey
cross tile terrain or in the bear
martin close am i um from where warren's position is is he able to lean over
or uh and like dip down over the edge and see the other pillars near him
yeah so you could see all the right hand side pillars i'm certainly trying to get the left ones
like can he like look down like pop it sure like what are you wanting to do uh basically i'm going
to reach spell and let your car both of them yeah sure all right that's what he's going to do he's
going to read spell and then both of them okay uh just roll damage yeah nine points of damage to both
okay again this one stops this one is still good all right that's your last turn okay the respell
requires an action though that's all these actions oh that's right yeah okay you want to end your turn
and that brings us to baldrick uh thurston i have to ask is this bitch floating
she appears as though she is slightly elevated maybe an inch or two
would you all right so i would have to ask reasonably speaking yes she is hovering
she is hovering in a strange manner like you know martinet cardoza this is like
something that has possessed martinet cardoza or some new thing that you are unfamiliar
i'm just asking strictly for physical yeah physics she's floating okay so reasonably
speaking she is propelling herself off of the ground right are you like do i break the glass would
she fall down to a tear that's what i'm asking that like baldrick's mind is a smart individual 50 50
like she could just be floating slightly it could be a thing not sure will i receive multi-attack
penalty from attacking all the pillars if you every bomb you throw will count as a separate attack yes
so is that a yes or no yes okay
okay in that case here's my plan yes to preclude myself from failing it i'm going to simply use
demolition charge okay on this one on the one by you like yes i will apply an alchemist fire as a
demolition charge okay cool so that is one action that was your uh archetype correct correct
okay so like this is one of those things where it's like oh there's a bunch of rules behind this
but like whatever like i use the set explosives action basically yeah i was gonna say because like
you are very much intending to set explosives spend two actions blow up this you're gonna like
basically you'll be able to set the explosives and move yes so if you'd like to move now feel free to
move uh does it cost two actions it's two actions to set an explosive
look at this just to be sure yeah you attach bombs rules details basically you attach them but yeah
i'm going to say because all right never mind i won't do that then because that's no you're you're
trained in this like if you want to you can like set two bombs i'm not going to make you draw them
because this is your fucking expertise right i'm gonna let you draw two bombs and fucking move
because this is your archetype man like you can like set two bombs and i will basically tell i'm not
setting two i'm setting one okay uh yeah so you'll set one and then you can move away and it'll explode
and as long as you don't roll terribly you'll probably blow this yeah you see you see my problem was i
didn't want to just like do that so i'm considering the multi-attack penalty instead
that's fair time is limited i will take too long anyway i will be honest that like you're a
demolitionist if you want to spend the two actions to blow up one of these you're gonna blow up one of
these that's your archetype that's your thing so if you want the guaranteed get rid of one of these
pillars you will guaranteed get rid of one of these pillars i need to maximize this because she's gonna
fucking kill us if we don't please roll terribly so i can judge you carry on all right i'm gonna
throw at this first okay throw attack roll i gave him the chance chat i tried you gave me the chance
to guarantee the fact but it would still take entirely too long and we don't have that kind of time
drake
go
give me damage all right you got it
eleven
that will take out the first one as you toss a bomb and it explodes dissipating the runes that surround
it i need to ask a question now yes this one is right in front of me
can i rule with my shape charge the you know bomber ability that i can literally just throw
it at my feet and blow it up without harming myself yes but in this case because you're doing
it fairly like quickly and shapely well no you've got shape charge and demolitionist right yeah yeah
fuck yeah sure you can blow it up will i damage myself uh because you're shaping it away from you i
assume probably not okay so i'm gonna do that then there we go fine fine well i need to roll
the damage because i only had one of them well yes but okay okay roll the damage let's see
listen i'm being fair i'm being fair that's that i'm just trying to give you the benefit of the
doubt with your ability it's all right there we go yeah you you fucking blow it up chaotic gm
talented wow thanks chat you're the best okay uh you managed to take out two more there are two
pillars to the southwest and the southeast that are still active uh that ends your turn baldrick
that brings us to volley i'm hitting the end button that's me okay well do something those other
pillars are a bit far from me and i don't have much faith in my gun to deal 10 damage you could can
can volly defend who knows what volly can do what do you want to do volley yeah this is a good
question um if you guys can take out the other two pillars i can just try to keep wailing on her
uh and just do my best we'll keep wailing on her to begin wailing on her yeah because we're starting
from square zero yeah exactly um because she heals at the start of her turn he's also taken no damage
and is at full health so and five damage did not do very much to her yes um god chat you're too cute
to me don't give me this power before i kill all the players you love uh okay um let me double check
the range on the dueling oh does it say uh like it doesn't say what's the range on a dueling pistol i
think it's 30. burst him
uh i mean what do you want to do do you want to like get out of range and then shoot her sort of thing
oh it's just a matter of like do i need to move in order to shoot the you can shoot point blank it's
just if she has attack oh no to shoot the pillar to shoot the pillar oh um let's see uh because it's
55 feet i think a dueling pistol is 30. i think i think yeah i think you're gonna be oh basically
it'll take a minus two penalty to hit the inanimate pillar so what i'm saying odo is don't roll poorly
don't roll poorly oh jesus um we haven't seen how much these heal are for so i i don't know if i
trust myself to just wail on her 60 actually wow 60 feet on the dueling pistol so you're good 60 feet
really yeah yeah yeah okay um oh wait what did you say ando about to say i'm keen on knocking all
these down and seeing if that will preclude her from doing any of her stupid flashy
bullshit um i'm assuming they're doing more than just healing her
yeah that's fair okay um in that case i will probably leave it to you if you would prefer that
yeah i'm pretty sure we can work something out i only have a club because i don't think
throwing the acid bomb is a wise idea because it doesn't do anything so lolly what are you doing
i don't know i'm gonna hit her yeah thank you i'm going to first make a feint okay um
i know it's in here somewhere there it is for the deception yes it's deception
i like that none of you have hero right now this is really i do i just have not used it
uh oh that's gonna be a 26. that will succeed so you will get the flat-footed so i will apply that to her
and then i believe with you that also um lets you panache so now you can finish her yep i'm gonna
do my damnedest let's see what volley does
barely 23.
uh it does hit so i will roll my damn damn oh that was not the right you had to click the right button
i did click the wrong button i hit the wrong oh that was the wrong uh i hit the dueling pistol
button my bad my bad ola dimaggio okay cool 14. she takes 14. that stares at you her beneficent
light shining into your eyes volley what's your last action um right cry uh i can step through
difficult terrain and i know this thing is over a fucking pit right you know the glass you're on
is above the pit but you also know it's pretty reinforced like baldrick would have told oh that's
true okay this glass is more reinforced than the upper level for sure all right i i was i was sniffing
a potential phase three so in that case i'm just going to um i'm gonna hit her with another feint
if i can do that i believe oh to try to like get her ready for round next yeah yeah keep her flat
footed uh let's uh let's see how i don't know if i can do it twice i'm gonna i'm gonna double check
um target is flat footed against the next melee attack you attempt so oh before the end of your
current turn but if you quit and succeed it's the end of your next turn oh okay so doing it again
isn't gonna give me anything okay i'm gonna do it unless you roll a 20 yeah yeah i'm gonna do a back
flick okay yeah give me that tumble through tumble through the panache uh i'm not tumble
throwing over the broken glass are you kidding me i believe roll it
yeah no uh you do not gain panache you like do the most ineffectual backflip imaginable if you
want to end your turn there volley yep
it's fine all right you know what i like volley yeah
uh give me a reflex save because you didn't move at all in the area of like exploding ground
oh that's still an aoe yeah why do you think there's a little token there oh i'm i'm very sorry
i would have moved i didn't realize that was still there yeah i'm not gonna lie i thought you just
forgot to remember yeah i said that the ground was burning yeah there's a lot of burning hands yeah
there's like burning hands it goes away at the end i'm taking advantage of foundry oh yeah like
okay wow chat has my back gm is a great gamer altruistic gm no we're getting hostiles we're
we're living in the p in the pion yang pathfinder all right all right all right roll me a reflex save
uh that is a yeah that that's wow you could succeed
and do a back flip yeah that that back flip doesn't get you panache but it does ignore the
fucking death spiral all right fine the shining mutton it goes and um this time targets you polly
this time this time well quit it uh first of all i'm going to uh oh am i supposed to be rolling to
remove dazzles uh or is that just no no no no it's until i tell you otherwise oh it's actually yeah oh
okay mr popo i don't believe nimble dodging would negate that would it no that'll that'll take you
down so she fires at you twice bang um so that actually is gonna be um double that damage what's
your hit points folly cool okay so you're quite uh that was her first action her next action will
be to turn to tenhouser to fire i see there's not a lot of option here yep
and then she will follow if you want to uh put yourself at wounded uh green technically because
you have one for the rotten yeah he's got credit hey soren mark me down a villain point
are you guys giving him bones keep giving me bones they need to learn today
oh well okay i learned what a crying shame um so that fires and misses uh volley you are now dying too
uh which does mean that you go in the initiative before the shining martinet who is now fired
shining martinet who's also no longer flat-footed uh so has fired both of their pistols into you
volley and you like stagger back from the blow look down at this like crater in your chest also
uh i require you to make me a uh fortitude save
all right because the shining martinet has a
uh new ability in phase two called luminous weapons so the 24 good you are not blinded as a result of
this but you're unconscious all right that's the shining martinet's go ten how's uh my friend you are up
excellent well tenhouser is is uh currently flowchart gaming because there's not a lot of options
so i think it's time we begin kicking this person's ass if at all possible so to that end i'm going to
march on up to this delirious fool okay and with my incredibly cool excorciator
excorciator excorciator that's what i said damn you and i'm going to make a spell strike
what spell billy i'm going to cast it doesn't matter i think okay that's the answer i like that
that's cool rahua you're out so you see your friend valiantly rush up to try to protect volley
after volley falls and the shining martinet turns deftly avoiding the blow rahua you're up
oh we desperately need to get rid of these pillars i i don't think the pillars are the issue the
pillars are only going to be healing him too oh i did forget um there's healing that happened
blocker thank you so if it's just going to be like healing at two hp a turn i think what's more
important is that the damage keeps getting by a lot because um by trundling around and trying to
destroy the pillars i wasted a fair turn of like possible dps so well there might be some kind of
debuff that pops if we do destroy the pillars that is that we we have entered into faith-based
gameplay we literally have no choice we're going to probably going to lose our encounter we are on a
day one raid race and we are at final boss that is true this is what you know what the
fucking title of all of you hey by the way you're gonna get this stat block if you're a patron
tell us what she can do well i i i definitely think that blowing up these pillars is a good idea
i also think the dps being alive is also a good idea and i i don't think i will be alive unless i
am healed the next unfortunately we're out of heels i think no i only have the uh i have only one more
heal first level which i was gonna do with folly because technically folly would actually be a dying
three because she got critted and she had rot so she already would be a wounded one now that would be
oh yeah that that is right a cracker down so she's a dying three goes down again volley will perma die
and then that's right thank you zoran um so the only thing i can do i can either keep volly down and if
volly loses her next dying save then yeah also i think you took volly out of the initiative she needs
to be above the shine oh barnet yeah no i did i moved her above the she's gone now oh that's
you probably accidentally removed her but um i probably clicked that weird button i i hate to say
it but we genuinely might want to think about retreating because i think we're all all out of
everything i don't think we're gonna i think as soon as i open the door down there it's gonna be like
fog wall yeah yeah i i won't you like when you're in a boss fight you're in a boss fight okay
i don't want to like give you like the how i spend two of my important actions oh fuck um
um yes thank you like you also came into this fight having expended resources too so like
yeah you're you're doing pretty well so far it's just now shit's got real dogs
yep yeah all of you have healing stuff yeah go ahead
for who's go so okay i was making sure i wasn't going to interrupt somebody else by
because everyone was talking no hulky you get to talk have a soliloquy go
there's no soliloquy to be had we are in a race against time this is not the time to have introspection
i am going to fucking cast i'm going to reach my spell number one and i'm going to cast stabilize
again on volley and that'll basically be my turn
give me one second i have to cast to get in check there you go
so bring her up to unconscious i have to i have to measure some
shit because unfortunately i'm rather what's the what's reach give you uh my dude let me double
check that 30 feet oh it's 30 feet extra so it gives you six yeah okay all right
so uh volley is no longer dying but is still unconscious which is good which is good
cool all right all right you're gonna end your turn doc and uh pass it over to orrin
now i'm at the bottom of the scoreboard i am going to spend uh let's see the real decision is
either do i do volley or do i do tanhouser and at this point
volley is going to be fine until rua can give volley additional healing so i'm going to
to action heal tanhouser i should be in range
but that is going to be just basically targeting him and going
this 1d8 plus 8 to tanhouser that'll be my last first level slot and got a new 14. thank you
thank you i'll do that it's got to keep you in the fight a little bit more and then i'm going to
assume i'm kind of still like around the rim of this thing on the second floor for me yeah um so
basically i'm going to be going i've seen for my final movement i'll be basically going around here
pretty much around the edge there just kind of yeah looking down as you see all of this or basically
positioning himself so next turn if i need to like jump down and do battlefield medicine or so that's
that's going to be the next plan so that's the end of orange turn all right next up okay
uh my options are very bad
so if i'm out of range of throwing something thurston do i get a penalty for doing it or do
i just not allowed to do it minus two for every range increment oh what a pain i know the math is
tough my my man uh in that case i'm if we're if we're gonna dps racer i'll abandon my idea that
destroying the pillars will do anything no i i think we need we kind of need to hope and pray
that destroying the pillars does something substantive besides reducing the healing um
and so i think that's more important than just lopping on another 10 hp
all right let me think this is in range thurston i need to ask yep logically speaking yep would necrotic
damage do double damage
uh to be determined um this is like very much a like luminous type thing like light is not necessarily
opposed by necrotic uh this is more if you had to guess
uh no you don't have the fucking skill actually okay tanhauser give me a give me a
uh arcana check you got it
all right i'm gonna like assume this is like reminiscent of the light of the beneficence
which is the good aligned outsiders of the setting
good he says good so i would be i would like negative well like you would need evil energy not
like positive positive and negative are like life and death this is good and evil like this is very
much like she's been given like super like good energy like altruistic crazy good energy
if i hit these things with an acid flask will it take the 2d6 instantly or do i have to wait for
its turn um i would say that it would take it at the end of your life because i don't have the pillars
so yes if you throw it i would roll the damage immediately so at 55 feet i just need to clarify this
so i can actually do this correctly at 55 feet is that one or two range increments
one ranging for you so you'd be taking a minus two yeah
i have to i have to try here all right i'm gonna blow my two acid flasks okay i'm gonna first i'm gonna
first attack her okay do it up target her and throw uh first target her and i'm gonna pray it works
good chad i hope you're having so much fun with this because i know i am draw
throw yeah yeah i know range penalty piss off oh you dirtbag oh baldrick you got a hero point though
yeah yeah i was saving that for something useful rather than just fucking whatever because if you
don't yeah because yeah if you don't re-roll it could be whatever who gives a shit okay so that's
still a critical miss which is actually really really bad oh i'm aware critical miss you actually up your
friend volleys wounded to three because you damage her while she is down because your bomber stuff doesn't
go into effect on a critical miss uh and then your splash damage will hit uh mr bulger or sorry mr
tanhauser now you're confusing me for i am i am i am but you will um basically um tanhauser will just
take three points there we go how's the shining mark what a pain in the ass well i just i'll throw it
at my feet and kill myself uh what's your last one you got that was your first action my oh i'm i know
dude i know uh uh i'll fucking throw it at the pillar who gives a shit okay let's avoid getting
two doomer yeah why am i getting um something better targeted untarget throw uh that's a map so it's a
map minus yeah
go just do something you'll hit give me damage
okay if you want to roll me 2d6 with this that'll that'll let me uh because i got to do one thing
before i do anything else where'd it go i'll go there so
toss toss move but you've also got to roll me 2d6 for the persistent at the end i know i just okay
end of turn because you said at the end of the turn that's enough breaks this pillar down one one
left all right and volley i have killed you on accident i'm sorry uh so technically uh volley my
friend how are you doing uh so um you're currently dying i am uh you were stabilized but then you got hit
by acid so doesn't that unstabilize me oh it definitely unstabilizes you we okay what do i roll
all right so you are currently dying um you have to give me a recovery check this is equal to a it's
a flat check dc 10 plus your current dying value your current dying value thanks to everything going
on is three so you have to roll a 13 or higher otherwise you will die yay thank you dice i love you
very much okay all right give me your energy that chat give her your energy she's gonna need it
she might need that re-roll rotten two time rotten two here we go
good damn it oh sag sag
does she still have an egg bonus with that
we stalled long enough with our dramatics you've got another hero point volley if you want to re-roll
that check i guess there's nothing i can do but wait wait but can't you use your egg bonus on this
i have not eaten an egg and i'm unconscious yeah i think you can do with hero points as well is just
bring yourself up the one yeah but she already rolled that's the thing right yeah unfortunate all
right well uh let's give it another try uh you have a you have a rush i believe in you you're like a
solid 16 here 40 chance is generous for xcom yep there you go most of my gotchas yay
all right we managed to avoid drowning you are no longer dying you are you have to
i am up to you you are wounded three this is this is not good volley you are you are you are oh lord
oh lord um lord all right all right all right my my my friends my comrades in arms uh baldrick if
you want to end your turn that brings us already volley has stabilized well volley if you'd like to end
your turn
my friend volley already done um yeah i did it i did it i i see it i see it i see it i need to check some
oh that's cool
just for
good
i'm gonna shimmy a bit
and i'm gonna have that ability
i think i can hit oh i can all right so she moves definitely away from the downed volley floating above
the glass and i shall illuminate both of you and fires both of her pistols unleashing a ray of light
both at tannhauser and orrin can both of you give me reflexes also combusting the poor civilian who
came down with the chair delete the corpse it's gone the corpse has gone uh 22 or i'm gonna 24
all right so both of you pass you will take half damage from the shining arch of its abilities
uh so four um start with tannhauser and now for uh our dear friend orrin
we'll take half of this so tannhauser you'll take that you'll take 10 and orrin you will take
11 as she moves deftly and fires and bang bang and this like shining light illuminates out towards
both of you uh does she have to worry about the caltrops she does not because she floats she's
floating taz very nice we're here um break the heat off let's see what am i what can i do oh
shit orrin is up the stairs never mind orrin you don't take that damage you're absolutely
about the mention i don't know if you're trying to
say that i see the light well that's fine because i'm gonna move here and i'm actually
just gonna shoot in the line and hit volley then i'm a bad person i could also be that guy who's
technically saved folly would have already been dead before because she was already wounded all right
i'm gonna say he angles it so you take the damage orrin um rather than i murder folly yeah i read if
you're okay with that yeah i'm fine with that okay uh tannhauser you're up yeah wow sometimes bad
i am going to do what must be done um i defect to execute folly now i'm in the tyrants guild wow
well you know i finally learned there you go um there's things i could do like i have a smoke
screen that i was intending on using i love that all of you are now like oh fuck we got to use the
backup stuff i well the smoke screen i i was going to use that immediately but honestly a dc5 with the
modifiers that a boss has it's kind of laughable they need to not want it um so to that end i think
the only thing that makes sense is i'm going to take a potion from the people's loot
uh and down a healing potion miner okay one d8 so you've got to draw and drink it so that
it's like a lesser a lesser we're at a lesser too yeah yeah we're at a lesser yeah oh we are
oh in that case one d8 doesn't mean anything and i'll i don't think that d eight hit points is
probably not going to be the difference maker here so and since it'll be two actions that's this
that's just kind of not worth it i know um yeah mathematically i don't know what a good move here
is so i guess i just have to keep on chumming her and just hope that it is enough um we're
we're in fucking wait wait a second i'm insane no i don't here's the plan yep walk to volley grab
volley yeah um i'm going to shoot my grappling hook and ascend onto the second floor okay
uh so do i have to move grab uh just give me a d20 it's ac5 to hit an inanimate object you got it
basically don't roll on that one yeah that would be bad how hard could that be that's a natural
funny yeah you pull yourselves up both of you are gonna i'm assuming like you want to like
land over here yeah i want to be out of range so at the very least we can get patched up and
continue to fight that will leave baldrick alone but baldrick's at extreme range and also is probably
better off than me wait no who was down here too no who is also 20 feet above no they just didn't
remove that yeah i never i never actually oh well does that change your actions yeah because this
is that still works because i can go battlefield medicine poly no just just just do it speaker we
have we have so little to work with we may yeah that is a potion in my pocket so yeah also i don't
want to be i don't want to be that guy but we're pretty over on session time are we good with going a
bit longer or i'd like to finish this if possible okay yeah i'm i'm all down what do you yeah let me
me know because people yeah um i actually the more i think about it the less sense that makes
because i thought that they were both on top so that by us going to the second floor we could
possibly have a turn of just a pure reset uh and potentially come back down fully healed now that
that can't happen it doesn't really make any sense and if orange is the only one on top i'm not really
worried about orange being able to reach us i'm worried about volley going down again volley going down
again is a worry that's kind of inevitable yeah yeah like volley i meant as far as like dying
getting another thing of rot yeah that would be so but that's something that i got point that's
something i can alleviate by just like target diversity by having us all stand in a different
position so to that end what i'll do instead of all of that is i'm going to make the incredibly
creative move of moving and the charge raise in charge yeah yeah i figured i figured i'd use my
head brain hard brain yeah uh saying would you i don't suppose i could talk you into letting that
mat 20 be through the hand i sure can't you fuck boy you got it yeah all right never mind that's the turn
you got a hero point if you want to roll oh oh yes okay in that case i will hear a point that
my apologies i didn't i didn't realize okay never mind okay cool that was good yay
rua you're up uh who is gonna move behind this pillar here if i'm not on the measure tool but instead
the move tool yeah uh i'm so close it's so far away i'm so fucking big can you move just move two and
hit it we we have nothing left we're just gonna yeah we're gonna do this you're the star wars the new
hope there oh and then hit it yep destroy it attack roll my brew okay destroy the ring
no i don't think that one nap one that one no you think he will shush you you're beating us soundly
you hit okay no no no no you you're not turning i'm sorry i didn't even realize i'm trying to bring it
ahead of it up
roll damage please all right we're all
i fight for the strongest side
you are damaging me because i could chunk out a good amount of it but as we have determined through
math they have ten eight points already did nine damage to it oh that's right you you smacked that
one earlier so it's fucking gone it is let's go thurston tell us what we win did we win lose
uh you've now prevented the healing on the shining martinet you're fucking great oh god
this was all a colossal waste of time uh it wasn't uh
trust me it wasn't she just has a lot of help for you to whittle through
i i don't i don't know if we could do that amount of health i'm out of supplies i've got a necrotic
bomb and that's it yeah we're gonna guys haven't really hit her in all of them that's
we have we took 16 16 damage yeah yeah yeah and i'm out of uh i'm out of like big crazy pop-offs
unless i get crits but i'm probably about to go down all right if you want to end your turn and
pass it over to oran the bear you guys can still do it yeah i believe in you oran will uh reach
will re-spell and cast sudden bolt in front of the baronet yeah
okay i have to make yeah which she'll probably dominate is the only thing no like stuff
yeah she'll pass but she'll take damage so yeah half of 4d12 points of damage
that total will be 32. so i was about to say that's still pretty good like
okay she takes it my turn okay uh cool uh ball trick here
uh what is the range on my crossbow what is the range on your cross i'm looking that's why i'm
asking um 30 feet you're full of shit all right no i'm gonna move 40 wow i'm gonna move i mean if
i'm gonna die i'm gonna fucking die uh let's see 30 there are you so negative you could uh potentially
bring volley back up with a little bit of things so that way when i go down i don't have any medicine
but volley does but i would i would i would have to move 40 because i can only move 20. no because
you could move uh never mind yeah never mind can't do anything it's it's it's unfortunate i'm in a
really bad position with no equipment uh you could grab a potion of minor healing from the people's loot
if you double heal and then no but then that would be an action to take it out so you can't do anything
yeah uh you could double move and then fire or you could maybe try to that's what i'm thinking
i'm getting i move i move 40 and then attack with something yeah because like that's all i got and
i can't use the crossbow in that case because it'd be two actions to why why do crossbows only shoot 30
feet it's alchemical crossbow oh okay okay that's because it's meant to like fire balls oh so it's like
the medics crusaders crossbow yeah i was thinking like what crossbow i can use it hang on like the
regular one is 120 feet all right that's more reasonable all right i briefly was like thinking
i was pulling at the foundation of the universe oh fart uh thurston can i load the alchemical crossbow
with the minor healing potion sure i mean like alchemicals and potions are not super far off in
terms of relativity why not missus this he's just going to fight yeah he's gonna hit her if he rolls
a one he's gonna hit her dude i have nothing you want to hit her with a necrotic bomb i got that i got
a tank look you are doing really well this fight y'all like are we it doesn't feel like
you came into here like half rested having expended all your fucking like big
shit earlier bro like through all of his bombs earlier like you guys are doing pretty
fucking well for your resources right now bro we couldn't rest again no you couldn't and that's
the fucking choices you gotta make all right so i'm gonna move 20 to here
okay one two three i'm gonna gonna crossbow fire the fucking thing fire the bullet don't target
volley because you're not targeting like a living person you're targeting an inanimate object that's
her corpse uh yes her corpse which is not a corpse because that's not the case thurston don't get
ahead there so we're getting we're getting there my almost corpse natural one hit the martinet i think
i think the funniest thing would be is if you make the shot and then immediately volleys back to life
and then the thurston just shoots her again well that's what's gonna happen because guess what
guess what bucko i'm at the bottom of the board because you because you demand that we think four
turns ahead
all right here we go strike please i mean why am i even doing this
do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it baldrick i love you do not go silently into the night
fire gun there you go uh healing yeah but it's 1d8 ain't it yep i had to blow my hero point just to
hit something and or miss something i guess thank you have your five
bali is no longer unconscious welcome back to the realm of the living my friend
from the ground i just give baldrick a thumbs up
you're gonna get shot like vegeta when frieza shot
all right uh baldrick would you like to end your turn no i think i'd like to savor the fact that
we're this is my turn still okay hey chat how you doing all right volly volly volly volly
you are back up with fucking i'm gonna go to a burger restaurant as soon as we're done with this crap
i'm gonna blow up a burger for the burger for okay thank you for clarifying i'm prone
uh brown let's see what do you what status effects do you have on you i've grown wounded three just
stayed just dazzled you're flat-footed you can follow you take her turn later
this is this is gonna shoot me in the hair but you're not dead she doesn't know that
that's true this is my pirate captain she has every disease
your name is no longer volley you're now sklump
this is my son klump sklump what are you doing with your turn okay
i wish he was dead if only klump talk was here to help yeah he could have sent him to the shadow
realm he could have delivered that potion he would have been a separate initiative value but
i could end it at any time but i don't want him to die
okay honestly at this point i'm probably going to have to take it on the chin that i'm about to get
rotten too we just need to do some dps that's why we're resurrecting you exactly uh i'm going to do
a kippa i'm going to try and get panache to get on my feet okay i'm gonna put my hands behind my
head jump to my feet okay and then i assume you're just going to move to flank and attack with the
finisher all right now do you have oh you don't have hero points you want to know the worst part of
all of that you're gonna take caltrop damage and go down oh god damn it speaker you ruined it
we're going to ruin your bits because you're ruining us i have not she only takes four points
of caltrop's damage so she has one hit point left all right no panache i'm just gonna well i've got
feathers but no panache but you can move to flank yes volley their steps so i'm going to step around
the couch and you're just like ow ow ow ow i need to ask is there an aoe on the ground surrounding the
martinet that will explode momentarily there is no currently aoe on the ground there's not the
supercharge with our powers is the the incandescent air around her she only has the lion attack which
everyone has moved out all right well uh i fucking uh hot dog yeah bacon wrapped hot dog yeah i could go
for that fucking christ uh i'm going to just dab her okay can you roll me d20 and on a one through four
you fail because you're dazzled oh all right don't roll it's easy see now make your attack roll see
and get plus two because she's flat-footed bam yay
get fucked you hit her damage damn
this is just the calm before the white mechanic wow
you see finally 24 hits like that and she'll be down see thurston when is her what's the enrage timer
kicking off so we know when it's exactly by the enrage timer i don't want to die i don't want to die i'm
too robot to die i said a lot of cool things it can't end like this every time
molly is that the end of your turn that's gonna have to be the end you wanna you wanna pass the
initiative over no actually if i pass the initiative then we win we're going on a general we're going on
a general strike until she starves
it's good it's gonna
i see the line yep uh uh uh uh you see what's gonna happen uh that's cool
i don't even think it matters if i pass the if you critically succeed you take no damage
yeah no issue i'm gonna think first one is for thurston is being bought out by big dice roll he's
being paid every time i don't like that effect um can i uh can i request with i'm gonna spend an
action to move around and then i'm going to i'll start with tan hauser can you give me a
reflex save yeah fine sure all right okay
lolly my friend would you like to get the crit yeah give me a give me a reflex save here you know
just just cuz yeah yeah get the crit to spite me i'm sure you can i don't think i will thanks captain
america no it's a 19 no that's a seven so um well um goodbye goodbye yeah yeah so uh tanhauser um
take 12. you take and then volley is like obliterated into ashes as as as her body flies back from the
bolt that flies out of the pistol her body explodes into this like blue almost water droplet-y type of
form and then splashes into the background uh disappearing entirely uh and then uh tanhauser
you fall down yeah that's exactly enough to bring me down to zero what up agony and so you are now my
friend dying one uh as you fall down um and that uh will put you above her so that's cool and that's
her action rahua my friend you're up so i really don't like the way this is going i don't feel
particularly well about the outcome of this wait hang on oh no it's chaotic never mind i was about
to say you could actually use that ability of yours but unless you throw out the the lance
does the chaotic energy but it's like oh this is not a chaotic problem this is a good but he does have
the other spell oh uh divine lance would work here but again you have the anarchic barrage too which is
do you have any heal left i have no heal left i can only do like combat medicine that's it oh yeah
at this point just damage dps race dp i gotta we're we're failing our dps check
come on white mage cast glare hey as soon as oran gets down here as soon as oran gets down here
and share some of his armor we should be good is oran upstairs yeah he's still 20 feet up yes oh
no i've been upstairs uh trying to avoid damage and everything you're right if only us the people
with swords that's i hate you so much i i didn't have a choice to be down here
i was i was brought down i was a package bundle with tanhauser
i'm trying to see where my where hope it dies once i got the 20 feet off chain house
everywhere yeah he's 20 feet oh yeah he's 20 feet tall he's he's he's levitating like that
corpse in that music video the physics are just broken
oh
all right
we're hello what you doing my bro i'm i was evaluating the distances here
and seeing whether or not i can even move within range
there we go now i've updated my discord status oh no
what
good
beautiful beautiful
oh okay come on okay i believe you're working on it
we're gonna be it's you me and oran oran's gonna have to get down here and share his armor at some
point it's no it's gonna be you and oran that's the thing hit point pool you can still
like go all out and do all as much damage as you can before she inevitably decides to blast you
i'm literally i might not even be able to get in range to attack her straight up
fucking damn it i i might just be fucked that's awesome i can't she's five feet out of my radius
even with reach oh i'm sorry no i could reach spell her but that would be just about it yeah you
could do that i mean you may as well try brother it's all we got left to do yeah that's that's it
look as long as you're not in line formation i don't we have no it doesn't matter it doesn't
matter she can she can decide line formation at any time because she can move faster than sanic
and ignore all terrain difficulties it's that we could you she could get a line formation off of
fucking um rahua and baldrick right now she's basically holy bayonetta yes
ah damn it you're right now technically speaking if you got those tangle foots off on her it wouldn't
work but she resets those on phase two because i'm a monster uh hulky what are you doing well
uh i was just asking as far as oh i was going to ask about damage types because but she's
good rather than evil so it doesn't necessarily matter so what you doing dog i'm just gonna do
an arc of barrage and accept that i'm going to die all right roll that attack roll
24. you hit roll damage
10. wow pretty good plus pretty good she's in the dark yellow it's night
hold on okay my spell attack was a plus nine oh well oh is it no it's it says on my sheet it's
plus nine for spell attack i'm not sure oh yeah you've got plus time okay so you hit um all right
that's the end of your go hulk you're right that's it or in the bear and shift the bear form and beat
her to death please produce flame he's staying up there
fuck i missed yeah you have a hair point oh that's true terrible you do you have a mother do you have
a more powerful spell that would be better oh shit there you go yeah i already used it all of them
are reflex based too that's all i got and the damage for it
that is ten points of damage cool and uh she's uh she's looking pretty beat up now
all right um that's all i can really do all right i'll try care out
so you know what blows about this what everything no i can't get within throwing range of her
because that would require me getting onto this ship you could uh crossbow me and get me up and i can
actually i we have no medicine left we have no medicine left we have uh no we have um two minor
potions left uh no we we use those up no because i would i had the opportunity to use it and i chose
yeah we only used one of those technically i haven't reduced them yet but okay so we have one left if you
get me up i can true strike and then just attempt hail mary on a gouging claw and that won't be enough to
down her but if i happen to get a crit which is incredibly unlikely but more likely with true
strike um i can potentially do something saucy something saucy or if i happen to catch her flat
footed which i don't think uh so here's one my one problem you're going to know when does the when
does the line explode thurston on her turn does it explode it's yeah oh well on her turn but if you hit
because tannhauser is now before her activation i know he would technically go first so here's here's
the other problem yep 20 30 i would have to take deal with caltrops yeah but you but but but remember
you could take the minus two and he is an inanimate corpse so his ac does that work for the crossbow
yeah his ac is only five so you only need to hit a seven so i can go out to like 55 but i can't go to
like six yeah so you'd only take like a minus two so as long as you roll a seven or higher you hit
him with the healing potion i'm i'm trying to get as much range as i can away from her yeah absolutely
so yeah there's my spot
nope not on the table there all right time to shoot tannhauser with my healing in you
leave go
there we go dream's not cancelled yet yeah heal him heal the man
good enough okay i'll give you uh tannhauser's healing and with that we are now officially out of
healing consumables okay tannhauser you are no longer um dying you are however uh wounded uno
uh and prone well that sucks um uh that's the end of your turn baldrick
yeah that's all i got tannhauser you're up okay true striking
uh that's the thing that's the question i need to ask because i could get up reduce my ability to do
damage and um you know then i'm gonna eat this explosion and that's gonna suck deck
but the thing is if i get up and then i move to the side she's gonna shoot me again and i have seven
hit points and even if i like succeed on the reflex which i've been doing pretty well so far she could
just hit me again wait wouldn't she be taking um she's been hit with produced flame shouldn't
she have persistent fire damage that's not a crit yeah it's not a crit same never mind yeah dream
canceled um okay so i need to ask myself if it's tactically more advisable for me to just get shot
or to explode like ziki bogey dog um friends to avoid the explosion
i don't know if it matters
um theoretically the race like save on an explosion could matter here here's my here's
my point on that is like you can do it if she rolls under a 14 on the explosion damage if you manage
to get that or if you just roll a crit you're fine right but this is free damage for her so if
i survive that she can just shoot me anyway which she could do anyway but if i doing less you'd be
doing a lot less damage and also the either way if you live like the big thing to keep in mind is
is that she has to dedicate attacks to you right so at this point if it is a dps race
the more you spread out the damage the better because like look at what you did even last
round with orin and fucking uh rahua just casting cantrips like that was a chunk of her health
uh that is true um i'm not i'm not petitioning you to throw away your life because i hate
fucking saying that but unfortunately we are in dire ass street yeah so do you think i should just true
strike and then try to get the optimal outcome yeah it's the best we got all right cool cool um
true striking yeah regardless i'm gonna have to go on to the caltrops at some point to throw an attack
these hands of mine are burning red the flames within tell me to defeat you
uh let's hit you with an erupting burning finger because it's true strike i'm ignoring my penalty for
being prone let's rock well that's unfortunate but i do get to roll again yep
what on god's green earth okay uh i failed again this is my third consecutive turn making
two attacks and failing every single one with a natural one on the second attack
oh of course well no i get to pick the highest it's it's a roll to pick highest oh okay in this
case i'd be picking the 18 so i don't know look i thought you were using your hero point because you
were just given i i was oh oh if i was given a hero point that changes the game yeah you have a hero
point then let's re-roll both of those and let's see how spicy we get yeah you see this is what we
call mathematics that's a hair you hit you hit give me a give me your attack well now i gotta see if
the second one gets any higher was it two attacks you were making no it's uh true strike so i roll
twice oh yeah well twice because all right well dreamcast you hit you hit though you all right all
right all right all right i hit we take those
at the behest of my foreign damage wait a second but i oh no could i make an argument
that you would be flat could i make hold on hold on hold on let's let's hear let's hear let's hear the
speaker out it's in my name i gotta do some speaking would you take the argument that since i am prone and
she would never have expected a prone attack from someone that was clearly unconscious and
ready to be exploded that i caught her flat-footed sure you hit her by plus three that's awesome would
that possibly make that a crit uh no because you would need another seven to create that's okay
i'm going to be adding three to that damage now okay because of laughing shadow oh fair enough
fair it gives me bonuses for attacking a flat-footed creature which i constantly forget about
now you see i tagged that extra damage on just for you thank you thank you father
would you like to apply the i'm afraid i've already done that because i've already taken
everything i can from you um that's um i believe the end of your go no because it was a spell strike
foolish mortal so that's two actions yeah would you have to crawl out of the way um burning hands
burning hands one or two actions uh it's a spell strike quite frankly it's not my concern
well yeah yeah but like okay so true strike is one action then you attack with the spell strike oh
okay i see yes so that is going to be for a grand total i gotcha 24 damage yep i gotcha tagged
it on her uh she looks at you rather perturbed now how dare you touch me
as her pistol aims directly at your face wait does she take the damage oh she did i applied it
oh oh oh god okay we've got a little bit to go you know you know when you like put your mouse over
loading bar just to see if the bar moves at all that that's what it is with her health uh would you
would you like to uh end your turn tennis uh is there an option to not no we could would you like
to okay okay this is where i eat crow chat uh tenhouser give me a reflex save and roll a natural 20.
how hard could that be it's five percent chance i got a 10 that's half that's that's a 20 in total
okay okay i think that's a fail though isn't it it's still a fail well the good news is she's
about to roll all ones uh why did it like roll me twice anyways you're gonna take 12 points of damage
uh so that succeeded that would have been perfect that will uh that will send you back into the
the dying zone we have not managed to avoid drowning and i am back to speak sleeping you are you are
you're definitely sure however the uh the explodingness by you is gone uh
me me me schmark so you are now dying too um oh yeah let's do that and that that so the martinet then
turns um gosh gosh you're you're down tenhouser uh fuck i'm gonna have to shoot it oren who's up high
why why not aldrich who has been more active uh because um aldrich hasn't really done a lot of
damage i put i point it i point it you don't because because baldrick has not done a lot of
damage now i've been healing i am um going to take a minus
what the fuck sorry it's refreshing oh god oh god foundry why are you suddenly refreshing
quick kill him while he's reconnecting no punch punch punch i must not punch punch is the mind
killer um the shining martinet will fire up at you oren however because you are at the uh the lip of the
edge since you are still elevated you are going to get a plus two uh to your armor class because you
have cover or like say
so well one sec um 15 i have 21 that would make me 21 ac no that i it didn't count the minus two so that
will just be a regular hit okay thank god which will only be seven points of damage to you with
the first shot uh then the second shot
oh it's good
we're at the bottom of the barrel here folks uh she will get a 15 on the second shot which i think
misses i will miss and then
she will move gliding away from get back here down this way i'm sorry baldrick she's gonna position
herself between rahua and oran who have damaged her all right that's the shining martin let's go rahua you're
up uh get back here you fuck
bonk her on the head uh i don't think physical damage is gonna do a whole lot based on what i
you're well you're anarchic barrage certainly did hurt her so
uh well i will cast anarchic barrage again because you know go for broke might as well
give her the microwave yeah give her give her throw the through the kitchen sink
ah oh fuck off god rahua if only people liked you and gave you hero points but alas they didn't
so as i'm saying we scraped the bottom of the barrel i'm done we're done milking chat for the
day we're already we're done uh yeah yeah good luck
there's not much i can do run up and hit her in the face any damage
oh yeah you have the you have the range you can get up and melee her i can't hit her i
already used two actions oh do you have like do you have an offensive cantrip
that already used it that was his offensive cantrip i only have two reaction can you can
you throw like a box at her
yes i'll throw the fucking bucket at her that's fine
maybe it'll blind her hold on let me actually throw a throw your smoke stick at her that'll be
funny oh my god you know throwing the smoke stick right now might be the only sound decision
throwing the smoke stick right now would be really bad because i can't talk
i hope no that's not a single act why would i just kill him out
come on talk you die instead of me you put a smoke stick into club talks realm and fumigate him
for tactical feelings pain yes are we gas club talk because i'm giving help i'm taking him down with
me flash banging um i don't know man i'm just i don't know you're doing hulky it's a you can throw a
weapon maybe throw your pick i don't know throw your shoe at her you need help hulky
i'm thinking about it i'm gonna move or i'm gonna throw something at her because right now i'm i'm
bereft so um here dude it's your it's your decision if you need help just listen what is the
thurston i need to ask what is the range on her aoe bullshit she has not used her aoe
bullshit since transforming what was the baoe bullshit prior to transforming because 15 feet
uh burst around her okay so i'm going to use that in phase two i don't think she could because the
guys on the like literally not even born's not even visible to her right now yeah um but you could
move that's not where i wanted to move that's just wanted to stick it's like hi i'd like to talk about
this kid roll diplomacy would you be willing to perhaps reconsider your action
hi would you be willing to sign my petition you have to use tomahawk you have to throw something at her
there there is nothing left we can do that that is very true
zoran if you were going to say something in the interest of deciding
yeah so throwing stuff just basically disarms you if you somehow if she somehow quickly misses and
doesn't hit you so probably the best thing for you is to either use your uh your cantrip spells to
hit her you already try damage i can okay um he has one action oh you have been donated a hero point
i will say so so your best bet if you're just looking for survival is to probably get behind the
pillar so you wait if you have a hero point you can reroll your cantrip but it's too late for that
yeah i would say it's it's a bit too late for that we we mugged too long okay yeah yeah and um so if
you're just looking to survive the best you can and hope that if you should say you the best thing you
do is to literally just hide behind the pillar if it's basically go one space left to try to get behind
a pillar at least passively increase your ac by two but if it's hardcover and covers you entirely
passively that should be heavy cover so it'll be plus four or here i see i i would have to ask
thurston how crumbled the pillar actually is is it sizable enough where i could still the damage you
were doing to the pillar was to the like light around it so the pillar is still quite intact so
you could go behind it and as long as she didn't say like move to here uh you would like basically
you'd be forcing a move out of her and you'd still get like plus two yeah okay i will do that
because i i've already got plus two because i don't know plus two yeah and if she does a line
attack at you then it should negate it because it can't go through that pillar yeah well i'm gonna
hide that you make yourself safe like cast the spell and then it's like fuck that runs behind the
pillar cool oren you're up yeah so i'm gonna do what i did before on hitting the pillars of just
peeking that peeking over and then pretty much he hangs over like he's on the top yeah yep yeah
i got zoom and then after the shooting obviously oren will be right back up so we're going to bam
produce flame straight at her because she is in range that'll be a 29 that'll hit she's give me
damage what an what an egg bonus i haven't used mine yet uh that will still only hit my plus six okay
uh so then i will go ahead and do a damage and that'll be another 10 points of damage straight
to her she is hurting real bad now y'all what's the last action or and um of course i have no the
i guess the only thing i could no i can't i can't throw my uh smoke stick that far
but yeah no i'm good that's the end of my turn okay i'm moving because i want i want to get this done
because i am we are going over time and i want to go you can do this i believe in you baldrick
or need to go 40 to is that the distance i believe
good enough yeah that's 40. i will throw my necrotic bomb as the last thing i got the
carter sauce here we go poison garbage
draw throw at target he do it probably
we'll see
you're a
you do have a hero point yeah you do have like oh yeah all right just fine
give you one just in time one one apple one attempt just go here we go
you're so full of shit a six again oh i saw it warble on the 16. oh boy
just tell me quick what i do do i hurt someone else nope you just you do a little bit of splash
damage that's it okay cool uh splash oh can i can i do the fucking full splash of like four because
it's my intellect oh i'll give you i'll give you an extra one yes there we go four is the splash
modifier hooray end of turn oh god i have failed at every hurdle with these things
okay this is good uh tannhauser do you want to uh you are currently uh dying too so you need to
roll me a 12 or higher to stabilize dude is this a fortitude save uh it's no no it's just a 12 or
high it's a flop check yeah so because you're gonna click that dice right by your dying value on your
character seat top left there near hp oh one diet left to dying oh yes yes yes i mean honestly i got
he makes it no longer dying but am i am i perhaps awake no you are you are unconscious but you are
wouldn't it be cool if i was awake though all right that's the end of that that's the end of that
fantasy moving on all right blast us well she's gonna blast rahua first yeah that figures roger
roger but rahua has covers oh heavy cover zorn it is gonna be down to you to fly down here and like
beat the shit out of her i don't know i feel like zorn's strategy of lame it the fuck out it
miss with the first attack i know his strategy to lame it out is really good but he's gonna run out
eventually and then she's just gonna go up there and well it's cantrips round i could say he's playing
all day so beat this boss to attrition now that didn't miss actually no that missed okay we take those
fucking gonna like pull the fuck back because what the hell and moves to there
as she fires two shots both of them going around the pillar where rahua is hiding
oh the dice are cursing all of us i know this is so bad it's gonna make us waste our time
you're out of the cursed artifact which one of you was it it was berry 63
so the hokey uh do you want me to tell you some options you have are you good i don't want to
like play your fucking character he knows what he's gonna do if if you need help just always ask
not target myself instead of that i'm moving up 20 feet yep i'm targeting her and i'm going to
an arctic garage do it up this is the crit this is where this is where hokey you need to stop speaking
okay i'm sorry i will i would like to hero point it okay i'm sorry i'll be quiet
you need to stop giving us giving the dice here's the chance this is the one oh wait it's not the one
for a clock watch your friends age here on twitch.tv i need a shower i want to go eat burger
poor you gotta suffer real quick this is no no no we got this we're gonna
i believe in you oren you're up okay just do it oren's going to cast reduce flame again
please be balling please be the baller is ballering it's baller girl damage
that's going to be nine points of damage and for my final action so close today i am going to take
cover so i can increase my cover value from two to four to four yeah okay ball trick i have to be
ballsy i just got a shooter i'm just gonna shoot her with my crossbow and my expensive chemical
balls three consecutive times oh i don't know if i can because i have to i have to reload it between
each shot get her ass so i can shoot her twice i can i can shoot her twice because it's reloaded
yeah i believe in you at baldrak fire
i will send you straight to hell for that critical miss the 20 was there it was a two it was chat by the
way oh all right you realize it again reload fire again map i think i got like a you're a jerk
hey that's another miss this entire session's curse i have done nothing i have done nothing
it's okay it's okay i feel like victory is inevitable it's just ten houses are mine
i have a conscious can i can i can i have a cool dream that brings me back to life
nope you don't have any error point
i think he gets a thing to where he can try to wake up because there's a lot of noise and
everything happening around him i mean yeah that's very whatever he just said is true like
like he like if you're unconscious like i can uh you know if you're unconscious because you're
dying you can't wake up as long as you have zero hit points i thought i thought i had seceded from
dying you you did but you're still at zero you're still zero i just didn't apply that yeah you can't
wake up until you get so says the bourgeoisie yeah exactly don't worry i'm gonna shoot oran now
it's gonna be fine he's taking cover he is taking cover yeah she isn't targeting me because
i keep fucking missing correct she thinks you're on his side i've so far dealt more damage to my
friends than i have the end i'll hit oran once
10 points to oran with a with a pistol shot that cuts through the upper level and smacks into oran's
shoulder and then a second shot
second shot misses oh
and then third she's going to move again and move to there moving deftly between the the tables and
the glass oh my fucking god please end this ruha i'm working on it here we go again an arctic barrage
somebody get me through this nightmare
there we go here we go let's go now roll all ones on damage
i don't know if i get any bonus because of that
like you chucked off bits of her armor she's this incandescent form of light i'm gonna throw the
fucking mace at her oh if this is what kills her and it will all have been worth how the
fuck do i throw the mace how do you throw tell him now if anyone was wondering what dnd was like during
the great depression first you gotta tell me i'm gonna kill you
i'm turning into ralzi smoking the blood okay okay roll a multiple attack penalty uh like minus
five five fucking or minus four because it's agile fucking mace attack and we'll see what happens
through
a natural twitter are you
you're fucking kidding me
by the royal tides of chaos i smite thee you can't even write this
shit you can't you can't because it would get rejected
the issue that was there you go she's dead
fuck you
hold on can i flavor this this moment of trial
i want you to explain how your anarchic barrage followed by your fucking like
fucking like just like hurled mace ends this
if you would allow me to flavor it without an
absolutely this is your scene go ahead everyone everyone's just hulky scene
so with a horrifying roar rahua's eye glows brighter than it ever has and just a roiling tide
of chaos leaps forth into the martinet's chest it doesn't do enough to kill her so in this hail mary
he just ejects the mace from his hand runs up to her the blows already it's already pierced
through her chest he gets right up to her looks her in her beaming eye holes
the order may prevail this day chaos always reign he grabs the handle and
wrenches it through her chest ripping out gouts of light as her essence begins to fade
as she explodes in a burst of light
how much damage do we take none i did debate having an ability that did that but i i opted not to
so okay good
and that is the end of phase two
all right everyone uh that's the end of the session thank you all for coming
what is the rick and morty skit like 15 minutes in and out
you know you delighted in a fair bit of that as revenge against his players but by the end
i could tell you were in just as much pain i was just like for the love of god you guys like
like the first half of that fight you were rolling so well and then the second like half i'm like she
just had two higher ac like for fuck's sake bro bro i i i went in there and i got downed and then i
fell and then i proceeded to miss almost every single attack against her oh my god that was incredible
did you die no but i feel like my soul did guys if we if we talk about this for a single second more
my brain is going to implode i need burger this game started with me getting waterboarded with
sprite and it ended worse
i must consume let's let's let's listen this way we're gonna we're gonna speed around the outro
because you know who the hell we are narrative narrative
declaration.com for all the stuff thank you everybody for watching we'll see y'all next time
so long farewell see y'all next time bye please be safe
all right we're done