Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
What do you do when the bottom drops out and life breaks in ways you never imagined? Charlie and Jill LeBlanc have walked that road, and through their personal story of loss, they’ve discovered the sustaining power of God's presence. In this podcast, they offer heartfelt conversations, Scripture-based encouragement, and the kind of hope that only comes from experience. Whether you're grieving, struggling, or searching for peace in the middle of chaos, this space is for you.
Hello, everyone.
Charlie LeBlanc:Hi.
Jill LeBlanc:Thank you so much for joining us. We're Charlie and Jill LeBlanc, and this is the Finding Hope podcast, Getting Through What You Never Asked For.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's right. There's a lot of things that we have experienced in life that we never asked for and some very, very difficult things that some people have gone through.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh my goodness.
Charlie LeBlanc:As we have. And we have dearest friends who've been through tragic losses in their lives. It's just almost devastating. And we talked a lot about that on our last broadcast. So this week, I just wanna continue with what we left off on.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, last week we did talk a lot about the comfort of the Holy Spirit.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. Thank God for the comfort of the Holy Spirit.
Charlie LeBlanc:How he helps us in deep times of need.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:And then, where'd we go from there?
Jill LeBlanc:Well, you've got the notes. Look at your notes.
Charlie LeBlanc:I was trying to engage you.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh, really?
Charlie LeBlanc:Okay. Okay. So anyway, last week we actually talked about how that we become also a tool of Jesus to be a comfort to other people. And how that you can either be a good comforter you can be a miserable comforter.
Jill LeBlanc:Are you a miserable comforter?
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, it's really interesting. We read this out of Job 16:2, Job had his friends that were just trying to fix him and trying to tell him what he needed to do and why he was sick, why God did this to him, all these different things. And then Job turned to him and he said, I have heard all this before. He said, "What miserable comforters you are." When I read that, I jumped out of my page because really, we all try to be good comforters.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, we try.
Charlie LeBlanc:When someone has a loss. But unless you've had a loss, many times it's hard to be a good comforter.
Jill LeBlanc:Well, I know we went to a funeral one time of someone that we knew, and we knew his wife really well also.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And, you know, not having really been there before. I mean, we've lost grandparents.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And, you know, at that time, we hadn't lost our parents.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. Aunts. Uncles.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, older people.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:Not a lot of tragic younger deaths. But so you just don't know what to say. And you you want to cheer the person up a little bit, not maybe fix them, but just cheer them up.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And we walk into the funeral, and we saw his widow right there because we were a little late. They were just walking in to the to get it started. And so we just spoke to her and I just said something really stupid trying to be light hearted and trying to make her laugh. Well, she gave me a little courtesy laugh or smile.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:You know, but she was hurting.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And and, you know, you you just never know because, that couple in particular, they were always just bantery.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. They were always fun.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. Yeah. And they were all she's just yeah. He just and then, you know, she's like, yeah. She's like, blah blah blah blah blah.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:Right. You know? So, you know-
Charlie LeBlanc:You tried to fit in with that a little bit in the moment.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes. But my gosh, you know, him passing away changed everything for her.
Charlie LeBlanc:It broke her heart.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:And he was such a fun guy.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:And and like you said, you know, we just we try to fix things.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:And we try to be the fixers, as we mentioned last time. And I read that, I shared with you last time this story about how I was on the way to this funeral and the Holy Spirit dropped in my heart to tell the people to do the loving and let God do the fixing. And I think this is such, I mean this was the Holy Spirit because I did not come up with this.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:But this has become a big heart of our message right now, is to try to encourage believers and non believers to try not to be a fixer, let God do the fixing, but be the lovers.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:And all that love means, you know, love is patient, love is kind, love does not, you know, is not rude and so on and so forth.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:Out of 1 Corinthians 12:13 actually. So, you know, what it means to love, what does that look like, you know?
Charlie LeBlanc:And people are always ready to give you advice. They're always ready to tell you, Oh, you know, you just need to do this real quick. Some would say, Oh, you know, your loved ones passed, now you need to go and get all these clothes out of the closet, you need to go do this, you need to do that. And you know what? All of that advice, you know, I just wanna say, Shut up. You know, I hate to be so rude.
Jill LeBlanc:Just tell it like it is.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. I mean, you know, we heard the old preacher say, Show up and shut up, you know. And that's in some ways really good advice because rather than say the wrong thing, just be silent. We talked about this last week, how Job's comforters at first for seven days they sat and it became a tradition, a Jewish tradition called sitting siva.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:And they sat in silence next to Job. They just they just sat next to him. And I'm telling you what, that comforted him.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:Just to have someone there to comfort them.
Jill LeBlanc:Right. Right. Yeah. Just like on from from the time I our son passed away. I mean, before he passed away, our house was filled with people praying and worshiping. But from the day that he passed, our house was just full of people that came to be with us.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And just to just to be there for no other reason.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. One day we had a phone call and they said, they said, we were thinking about stopping by, but is it okay? And I went to you. And I said, Jill, is it okay if so and so stops by? And what did you say?
Jill LeBlanc:I said, absolutely. I need Jesus with skin on.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right. And I had never heard that term before.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. And yet it is something that you had kinda grew up with.
Jill LeBlanc:Well I've heard Andrew Womack speak about that a lot. That's probably where I first heard the story know.
Charlie LeBlanc:I must have been reading texts on my phone when he was teaching him, because I don't recall him ever saying that.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh, yeah. He's he shared that story a few times.
Charlie LeBlanc:I don't mean that disrespectfully because we love Andrew. We love his teaching. It's awesome. But we've led worship for Andrew for forty plus years and heard so many of his teachings and they're all But sometimes when I'm hearing the same one or when we tell the same story again, I get a little bit, oh yeah, that one.
Jill LeBlanc:Well, it's such a powerful story though, this Jesus with skin on.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes. It is.
Jill LeBlanc:And we even put it in our book and I'd like to read it to you. I I was able to find it on the Internet and so it's it's a bonafide story. So it goes, years ago, I, it says, late one stormy night, a small voice was heard from the bedroom across the hall. Mommy, I'm scared. Mom responds sympathetically, Honey, don't be afraid. I'm right across the hall. After a short time with thunder snapping in the distance, the little voice says again, I'm still scared. And mom replies, You don't need to be afraid. Close your eyes and pray, and remember that Jesus is always with you. The next time, the pause is longer, but the voice returns along with a little child standing next to her bed.
Jill LeBlanc:Mommy, can I get in bed with you and daddy? How many times have we done that? Patience, the little boy catches her eyes and says, mommy, I know that Jesus is always with me, but right now I need Jesus with skin on. And I think that is just such a powerful picture of what we're talking about here. You know, people need us. Need Jesus in the form of us. I heard someone say once, they said, you know, God looks just like you because he's on the inside of you and he's wanting to touch people through you.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And it's so true, isn't it?
Charlie LeBlanc:It really is. And you know, it reminds me of that scripture that says, Jesus said, in as much as you've done, well, it's a parable, and it said, in as much as you've done it to the least of these, you've done it unto me. And you know, when we help people, we're helping Jesus. When we're ministering to people and helping them, it's like we're helping Jesus himself.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:But you know, the point is is that we are Jesus with skin on and we have to operate like Jesus did. And Jesus, when someone was hurting and someone was in pain, someone had a broken heart, Jesus had compassion on them.
Jill LeBlanc:He did.
Charlie LeBlanc:And he never really tried to fix them. He would just say a few words, you know, like, go and sin no more or or or, you know, you know, whatever it might be. But but he he had compassion on broken people. He did. On on people who were hurting.
Charlie LeBlanc:And we need to have that same kind of compassion. We need to be very careful about what we say. And that's so important. Like you said at the funeral, you know, you regret what you said.
Jill LeBlanc:Gosh, yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:I've said things that I regret too. But we can learn the right things to say. We can learn how to be better comforters and not miserable comforters. And we've got a whole second half of our book. In fact, I think we have more written about how to be a good comforter than we do about how to comfort those who mourn.
Jill LeBlanc:But it's, but you know what?
Charlie LeBlanc:Because it's so needed.
Jill LeBlanc:From coming from a place of being the broken one, it really ministers to me and helps me when I hear other things being said. It's like it affirms me.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yes, yes, absolutely.
Jill LeBlanc:And so even though we spend over half of the book talking to others about being good comforters, touches the ones that are that need the comfort.
Charlie LeBlanc:Absolutely.
Jill LeBlanc:Because someone is saying it, someone is telling what I need in my life.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, cheering on and say, Yes, say it, yes, say it. Know, we've experienced that too when someone has said something, we say, Yes, that's exactly how we felt, you know, when we've read things. In fact, we've put some quotes in the book, you know, by Earl Grohman and others, and we're just like, wow, yeah, that's exactly how we feel. How'd you know that? Know, well, they've been through loss, they understood it.
Jill LeBlanc:And can I I just I've got our book open right here, and I just wanna read a a little scripture that we referenced in this, this chapter that I read from with the being Jesus with skin on story, and this right here is from the chapter called Learning Compassion. And it's from Proverbs 31:8-9. It says, speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves.
Charlie LeBlanc:Know that exact scripture.
Jill LeBlanc:Ensure justice for those being crushed.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless and see that they get justice.
Charlie LeBlanc:Amen. Yeah. You know, unfortunately, there are so many hurting people in the pews of our church. Have no idea how people are hurting, what they're going through. They may be facing the divorce. They may have just gone through a divorce. They may be facing a loved one who is ill. That is so common. People are fighting cancer or heart disease. And you know, they're coming to church to get some help. And all they get is, hallelujah, praise the Lord, hallelujah, praise the Lord. But no one is sensitive enough to notice that they're not quite themselves.
Jill LeBlanc:Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc:And rather than walk up to them and go, you doing good? Praise the Lord. Doing good. Praise God. Come on.
Charlie LeBlanc:Let's rejoice. You know? Instead of doing that, what about putting your arm around them and just touching them and just saying, are you okay? You know, how can I help you? Are you you know, I wanna pray for you if if I can if I can help in any way.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, these are the type of things that we as Christians need to learn, and that is to have compassion on hurting people. Jesus loved widows. It said pure religion undefiled is to visit orphans and widows in their distress. Pure religion is taking care of people who are hurting. That's what real religion is about.
Charlie LeBlanc:And we miss it so much. All we're trying to do is make people happy, make them rejoice, make them jump up and down. Well, know, I know there's a time to rejoice and we rejoice all the time. We praise God all the time for all the goodness that-
Jill LeBlanc:We do now.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, now.
Jill LeBlanc:That was a while we didn't.
Charlie LeBlanc:No, but I'm saying right now we do. When we see a hurting person, when we see someone fighting for their life, or like we have a dear friend right now whose husband has been in the hospital for over a month, and you have been texting her, at first it was almost every day, loving on her and telling her we're praying for her. You were texting all of our friends to pray for her, for him, and we just got a good report just recently. Everything else was up and down, up and down, up and down, but that's showing compassion.
Jill LeBlanc:Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's showing that you care. And we have many friends who have lost loved ones. And gosh, forgive me, but I try, we try to put them on our calendar. We try to remember their anniversaries of their passing, or even their birthday of their deceased one. And we try our best to send them a little text and just say, We're thinking about you today. You know, We love you.
Charlie LeBlanc:Just the other day I texted, my best friend passed almost two years ago and his wife, we're dearest friends with her now as well, always have been, but with him being gone. I just texted her yesterday, I just had her on my heart. And so I'm thinking about you, and I'm missing Larry. And I want you to notice that I said his name. And that's something that's important too, is that we have a whole little chapter on that of say their name, because we're afraid to say their name.
Charlie LeBlanc:You know, Jill, we experienced some really difficult times after Beau passed because our oldest daughter Camille was pregnant with her first baby. And Beau passed six months before he was and so when Kingston was born six months later, all of our friends at church, what did they start doing?
Jill LeBlanc:They were trying to almost like hypnotize me like, Oh, you have a grandSON. Isn't that wonderful how the Lord has blessed you with a grandSON?
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. You lost your son, but now you have a grandson. So don't grieve anymore.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. They would say that. But that was how it was insinuated. And they they would never ask about, you know, our, like, how is, how's it going with us, you know, is just, and there's a balance in that.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's generally, general, yeah, we had dearest friends that wept with through the whole Of course.
Jill LeBlanc:But it was just kind of an excuse for trying to get our minds off of what we were really walking through.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, and that's a big fallacy right there that some people think, you don't wanna mention their name, don't wanna say anything about their deceased husband. Don't wanna remind them of their son or their husband that died. You don't wanna say anything. Oh, come on, let's go have coffee. Let's talk about everything else, but not talk about that.
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, you know what? That doesn't minister life to someone who's grieving.
Jill LeBlanc:It really doesn't.
Charlie LeBlanc:You need to get in the boat with them.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:With them. We need to learn to get in the boat, in the pain, with those who are hurting.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah, especially if we have a close relationship or, you know, decently close.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:And talk about it.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:Like, how is it going for you? Are, you know, are you do your children come by and visit often? You know, do you sense loneliness? You know, just inquiring if you're close enough, if you have that relationship.
Charlie LeBlanc:Right.
Jill LeBlanc:And if you don't have that relationship, don't just treat it doesn't, like this never happened, because that's all they think about. You know, we quote this really awesome man in our book, his name's Earl Grohlman, and he was a rabbi that shortly after he began in ministry, he was just thrust into grief ministry from the get go because, at that time, that one disaster happened in New York City, not the Twin Towers, but way before that. And and all of a sudden, he's ministering to all these people that lost loved ones in some kind of bomb.
Jill LeBlanc:I can't remember which incident right now. But, anyway, he gosh. What was I gonna say about him? We have so many quotes of his in the book.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:He's amazing. Anyway, it was gonna be really good what I was gonna say. But, you know, just just just getting, like Charlie said, getting in the boat with these people and and just being real with them and and not treating this like the elephant in the room that never gets addressed.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. Jesus never alone hurt.
Jill LeBlanc:Oh, I was gonna say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It surfaced.
Charlie LeBlanc:Good. Good.
Jill LeBlanc:You know, the thing.
Charlie LeBlanc:We lost it again. Oh, no.
Jill LeBlanc:Just leaked out again. Come back. Come back. We were talking about about the elephant in the room and-
Charlie LeBlanc:Earl Groman.
Jill LeBlanc:Earl Groman. And oh, yes. Okay. So-
Charlie LeBlanc:Yay. You got it.
Jill LeBlanc:So he says he talks about people that lose someone are self centered. And they are. I mean, yes, we are self centered when we lose someone because our world just fell apart. Our loved one is gone. And we're having to deal with the aftermath of all that that means, you know, all that they've left behind that we have to take up and and go on from there.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's right.
Jill LeBlanc:But it does it's- Yes, we are self centered at that time. We're talking about us and what are we going to do and and all this. But, yeah. It's okay.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's normal. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:It is. And it's nothing to be ashamed of because your world has just fallen apart.
Charlie LeBlanc:That's right.
Jill LeBlanc:So I just wanted to say a word-
Charlie LeBlanc:That's good.
Jill LeBlanc:-to you that are maybe walking that road, number one. It's okay.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:And you I mean, it's don't feel bad for having to talk about yourself and your life to other people. And sometimes they don't get it and they need to hear that. But then for those of us that aren't that person, we're the ones on the outside. Let them talk. Let them be what they need to be right now.
Charlie LeBlanc:That is a great point.
Jill LeBlanc:Yep.
Charlie LeBlanc:And I was just getting ready to say that. Let them talk. And that's one of the big points is that we make is to be a good listener.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:Because someone who's had grief and have had a loss, like you said, they just want to talk about it. And the best thing we can do is be a good listener, is just listen.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:I mean, you feel like you're unequipped to be in a situation where someone has lost a loved one. You feel like you're not, you you know, you won't know what to say.
Charlie LeBlanc:Well, you don't have to say much, really. You can just sit there and go, Uh-huh, I'm so sorry. Oh gosh, I can't imagine. I can't imagine. I'm so sorry.
Charlie LeBlanc:Put your arm on them. But let them talk, let them talk. And we learned a really hard lesson in this, in that because we had lost a son, we thought we would have answers for everyone in that situation. We had a close, dear close friend of ours to this day, who lost their son nine years after Beau passed. These friends were, we were very close with them, and they helped us when Beau passed.
Charlie LeBlanc:They were like a rock for us. Helped us, they loved us, they helped us with the funeral, they helped us with so many ways. Don't want to go into the details. They helped in some of the difficult things that had to be done when someone passes and did it for me as we left the house.
Charlie LeBlanc:Anyway, yeah. But, nine years later we get a harrowing call that their son died.
Jill LeBlanc:Who was best friends with Beau.
Charlie LeBlanc:And him and Beau were best friends. It was horrible. So anyway, we of course contacted them and we ended up seeing them and being able to be with them. They actually lived a ways away from us now, so we ended up getting to go and be with them. We were there at the funeral of course.
Charlie LeBlanc:We were there supporting them through that whole thing. But there was one moment where I really felt like I needed to minister. I want to minister to my friend, the father of the son that passed. And we got there, and all of a sudden he just started pouring out his grief. He just started sharing his upsetness and his anger and his disappointment and just grieving, just lamenting, just crying out talking all kinds of ways.
Charlie LeBlanc:And I kept thinking, I've lost my son so I know what to say. And I kept going, but the Holy Spirit just kept saying, just no, don't. No. Don't say anything. No. Don't say anything. And I ended up hardly saying, in my estimation, in my recollection, hardly saying anything to comfort him.
Jill LeBlanc:Right.
Charlie LeBlanc:And I and and we ended up having to go. The time was that we took off and we left and we're driving away. And I I am thinking what a loser I am. I have blown it. I have, I didn't say anything to him.
Charlie LeBlanc:Here I am. I've lost my son. The expert now. He's lost a son.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:I should have at least known what to say. And I'm driving and all of a sudden, and I'm beating myself up and all of sudden I get a text from him. And he said, Charlie, thank you and Jill so much for coming by and being with us. And he said, Thank you especially for listening.
Charlie LeBlanc:And that broke my heart. I mean, I just thought, Wow, the power of just listening just to be a good listener. People, we really need to get ahold of that. To really be a comforter, not a miserable comforter, a good comforter, just listen. When people are hurting, when people are in pain, just be a good listener.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. It's so invaluable.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah. Yeah. My goodness. So God bless you. You know, we're gonna close here and pick back up on this.
Charlie LeBlanc:I think we could talk about this stuff for a long, long time. We're gonna get back into this, and we're praying that this helps you. Most everything that we're talking about is from our book, When Loss Comes Close to Home. She's got a copy there, I've got a copy here. Who can get it up first?
Charlie LeBlanc:Really, this is a very serious book. And like we said earlier, we have so many testimonies. I wonder if I could get to one or two of them here. Thank you, it says, where is one here? They said, said, this Sandra said, that's more in your book. I read your book, that's more than any church has ever said to me, through two losses. They had had two losses and they found some things that helped them more than, know, some people just don't get help. Some people are in the middle of a church and they just don't get help. And so this book will help you. It'll minister to you, and like Jill said, the things we encourage other people to learn about having people walk through grief, that'll minister a lot to you too, because you'll go, yes, yes, yes.
Charlie LeBlanc:So anyway, we love you, we appreciate you, it's available digital download.
Jill LeBlanc:Yep.
Charlie LeBlanc:It's available in an e book.
Jill LeBlanc:Which is a digital download.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, and we also have it in an
Jill LeBlanc:An audio book.
Charlie LeBlanc:What did I say, I'm sorry, forgive me. Yeah, but we also have this this little, what do we call it? That little card they can download for free. The nine nine steps.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah. We have if you sign up on our email list, you get to receive a nine step guide on how to support the bereaved
Charlie LeBlanc:How to get through it for yourself.
Jill LeBlanc:For the bereaved and their supporters.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc:It's really it's beautiful design and and it's very helpful. Just practical tips. Tips.
Charlie LeBlanc:Yeah, so you can get that and we have music, we have a playlist called, Finding Hope playlist on Spotify. You can find that as well on the Charlie and Jill LeBlanc.
Jill LeBlanc:Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc:And lots of music on our website that we believe will bring comfort and help to you in your journey. So, so much more we could say, but we'll save some for the next broadcast.
Charlie LeBlanc:But, again, we're just honored to be a part of your life. Thank you for letting us come into your home.
Jill LeBlanc:Absolutely.
Charlie LeBlanc:Into your life, into your pain. Thank you for trusting us and, we hope to see you again on the next podcast.
Charlie LeBlanc:Amen. God bless. Bye bye.