Part II, When Cultures Collide: Growing Your Cultural Intelligence (CQ)

In Part II of our cultural collisions series, we go deeper into how to build your Cultural Intelligence (CQ)—the ability to shift perspectives and adapt across differences.

You’ll hear:

• Why hidden codes at work create misunderstanding.
• The 4 dimensions of CQ: Drive, Knowledge, Strategy, Action.
• A Brave Enough Moment where I slipped into fawn mode—and what I learned.
• The ADAPT™ framework to reset when cultures collide.
• The Cultural Reframe: 4 steps to pause, breathe, name assumptions, and bridge with curiosity.

Because the truth is, culture and identity are always in the room. Pretending they’re not only deepens silos. Let’s practice choosing curiosity over reactivity.

What is Adaptive Humans?

Adaptive Humans™ is the podcast for real talk and intentional growth. Hosted by Jami de Lou, each episode blends meaningful stories with practical tools you can use in your next meeting, tough conversation, or high-pressure moment—and just as easily in everyday life. Together, we’ll explore how to work with emotions instead of against them, bridge differences with respect, and steady ourselves when stress runs high. With signature segments like Beyond the Bio, Brave Enough Moment, and Just Be Reset, this podcast invites you to practice adaptability in the moments that matter most.

Welcome back to Adaptive Humans™, the podcast for real talk and intentional growth. I’m your host, Jami de Lou.
In Part I, we explored minimization—how downplaying differences might feel safe in the moment but actually costs us trust, clarity, and connection.
Today in Part II, we’re going deeper into how to grow your Cultural Intelligence (CQ). This is how we move from minimizing differences to actually bridging them—learning not just to see the world through our own lens, but through a multitude of perspectives and lived experiences.
As always, each episode has three segments: Beyond the Bio, Brave Enough Moment, and Just Be Reset.
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Beyond the Bio
Much of my career has been spent helping humans inside workplaces—leading inclusion, building talent, and creating spaces where everyone can belong and thrive.
What I learned early on: professional service firms (and many workplaces) are shaped by dominant cultures, often white and male, with hidden codes of behavior.
• Speaking up, moving fast, pushing decisions forward—that’s what got rewarded.
• But if you didn’t know the unspoken codes (like “good job” actually meaning “not good enough”), you could be left confused or misjudged.
These invisible rules taught me how easily cultures collide, and why we need CQ to bridge the gaps.
So what is Cultural Intelligence?
CQ is the ability to shift perspectives and adapt behaviors across differences. It includes four dimensions:
1. CQ Drive – Do you approach differences with curiosity, or avoid what feels uncomfortable?
2. CQ Knowledge – Do you understand values, norms, and communication styles—and why they matter?
3. CQ Strategy – Can you pause, check assumptions, and make sense of what’s happening?
4. CQ Action – Can you flex your behavior—tone, pace, body language—without losing authenticity?
Building CQ isn’t about being perfect. It’s about daily practice that makes us better colleagues, community members, and leaders.
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Brave Enough Moment
In Part I, I shared how I sometimes defaulted to appeasing powerful partners instead of staying curious with employees I supported. My nervous system went into fawn mode—nodding, smoothing things over, keeping the peace.
That’s why I created the ADAPT™ Framework—a roadmap for those moments when cultures collide and our instincts pull us off track. It integrates CQ, EQ, and nervous system regulation, helping us:
• Notice our own triggers,
• Stay steady enough to choose curiosity, and
• Rebuild connection instead of reinforcing silos.
Because here’s the truth: culture and identity are always in the room. Pretending they’re not doesn’t make them disappear—it only deepens misunderstanding.
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Just Be Reset: The Cultural Reframe
Let’s practice together. Four steps to shift from reaction → connection:
1. Pause – Catch yourself before reacting.
2. Breathe – Shoulders down. Inhale through the nose. Exhale slowly. Reset your nervous system.
3. Name the Assumption – What story am I telling?
o Silence = disengagement?
o Directness = rudeness?
o Urgency = disrespect?
4. Bridge with Curiosity – Turn assumption into a question.
o “What does urgency mean to you?”
o “How do you like to receive feedback?”
👉 Remember: You won’t always catch it in the moment—and that’s okay. You can always circle back with curiosity.
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Closing
Here’s what we know:
• Diversity drives innovation.
• But without inclusive skills like CQ, diverse teams often struggle to collaborate.
• CQ helps us notice invisible codes. EQ helps us respond with empathy. Nervous system regulation keeps us steady enough to choose curiosity instead of reactivity.
This isn’t just business. It’s about humans navigating real instability—racism, anti-LGBTQ+ attacks, workforce inequities—that show up in our workplaces every day.
So this week, notice one place where you might be minimizing. Try the Cultural Reframe. See what shifts.
Next week, I’ll be joined by Manar Morales for a powerful conversation about connection and living your all. You won’t want to miss it.
And as always, remember:
✨ I am brave.
✨ I am enough.
✨ I am brave enough.
And so are you.
This is Adaptive Humans™—real talk, intentional growth.