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Welcome to Make Your Passion Pay, hosted by LuAnn Buechler, a seasoned leader with a master’s degree in Hospitality Administration and a recipient of the TLC Award for Leadership. This podcast is designed for business owners who have left toxic environments to create their own thriving workplaces but find themselves struggling with team building and mindset. Join LuAnn as she shares insights and strategies to help you cultivate joy and a positive mindset in your business and personal life. Drawing from her experience working with renowned leaders like Dr. Ivan Misner, LuAnn guides you in building a supportive community and mastering the art of people management. Each episode offers practical advice and inspiring stories to empower you to transform your work environment into one that reflects your values and passions. Tune in to discover how to lead with joy, foster meaningful connections, and truly make your passion pay.
Welcome everybody to another episode of the Make Your Passions Pay podcast. I'm LuAnn B., your host. Super glad you're here listening to us today. In our podcast, we talk about the Make Your Passion Pay Playbook and the six Cs that make up the framework of the playbook. Those would be clarity, connection, community, collaboration, creativity, and commitment. And as you know, if you're an avid listener, I have found many more words that begin with C since I've developed this framework. Today, Grace and I are going to talk about a couple of those, and that's communication and confidence. I just love to clients off office, and I got to tell you, communication is key—absolutely key in all aspects of our businesses. So, let me introduce you to my friend, Grace. Grace Liu is an award-winning author of Pearl of Grace: A Path to Your Voice and Inner Worth. She is the creator of the Pearl of Grace framework and founder of GraceSOULutions. Now catch this—it's spelled S O U L U T I O N S, GraceSOULutions. I love that. As a woman's truth awakener and professional communication strategist, she empowers quiet, overlooked women to speak up, ask boldly, and be heard so they communicate with greater confidence, authenticity, and impact. I'm not one of those people that's shy about speaking up, but
(00:04:44.472) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Grace
(00:04:46.072) LuAnn Buechler: Those people that are, so I hope you're out there listening to us. Welcome, Grace.
(00:04:52.272) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Hello LuAnn. So happy and honored to be here with you today on your podcast.
(00:04:58.372) LuAnn Buechler: Show. Thanks so much Grace, has her own shows. We'll talk about it in a bit, but Grace and I met through eWomen Network and many of you know, I'm a member of that. So we're new friends and we're collaborating on some things together to help each other be more successful and get our voices heard in the world. So Grace, what inspired you to create the Pearl of Grace Raymore?
(00:05:28.672) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Well, you know, and that's a great question. Because what made me think about the Pearl of Grace was one of my mentors actually worked with me, and I was explaining what it is that I do. She came up with the idea of Pearl of Grace, and I sat with the energy of the Pearl of Grace, and so you know with me as being communication it's more than just words. So I fell into it and it was just like I thought, you know, we all have the pearl inside of us. You know how the pearl is formed. And it was just more about wanting to help women to shine their voice and shine who they are, just like the pearl. Yeah,
(00:06:21.872) LuAnn Buechler: I love that. Now, is Pearl an acronym?
(00:06:25.872) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: It is. Yes. And so is Grace. So with the combination of both, yes. So if you think about the Pearl, I was thinking about, you know, the presence and the emotions, energy and the awareness, right? And with the assertiveness and then the resilience and really to repair any communication breakdowns that may happen and then just leaning into the repair of learning to repair with love.
(00:07:07.672) LuAnn Buechler: Oh, I love that. That's awesome. Lots of good content there. I'm sure that that book is a really good one for many of us to read and learn from. That was the acronym for great.
(00:07:25.872) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: So, with Grace, it's about now that you have the techniques and the path of the communication. It's now the journey of it and being in a journey of the communication, right? So then it's like, you know, not everything's going to fall into place. So then you sit into the energy of Grace and it becomes about having gratitude, reflection, authenticity, connection, and compassion, and then the empowerment—empowerment of empowering yourself and then with others.
(00:08:07.972) LuAnn Buechler: Oh my God, so great. And we have connection in common. What does connection mean to you in this sense of communication?
(00:08:18.972) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Well, you know, you can communicate with yourself and you're still making that connection with yourself, right? And when you're communicating with other people, you're having that connection with the other person. So with connection, you have to have an exchange, right? I'm saying something and you're responding back, so you're now gaining that conversation and then the connection. It's about cultivating that relationship. If you are in connection when you're talking with someone and someone's responding, and you're having this exchange, right? You're naturally just going to have some connection of maybe an alignment, right? Or if someone disagrees with you, that's okay too, right? Because then that's about the learning part of it, and you're still having some of that connection where you can then still cultivate the relationships.
(00:09:18.172) LuAnn Buechler: I love it. There's another c-word: cultivates, right? And cultivating relationships is a big part of what I recommend and encourage, and connection, and building community, and building collaborations for the future. And you know, you got to connect on an authentic level. I love that too. So authenticity is just an underlying message within my framework. So why do so many capable, professional, successful women struggle to speak up and ask for what they want, or to be heard, to let their voices out?
(00:10:00.272) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yeah. That's another great question, LuAnn. So this is my belief, right? This is my thought, and that is, you know, women tend to want to be like, alright, I don't know if you ever grew up and were taught like, oh, you're such a good girl, and you hear that, you're like, oh, okay. This is the right way, right? Or that's the feeling that I want. And so what ends up happening, I believe, if you know, for the women out there, your audience, and you know, maybe relate to this, or and as that, you know, they wanted to be liked and they want to be seen as kind and as quote unquote good girl, perhaps. And so a lot of the times, then what happens is that we may hold back, we might second guess our thought because we want to present ourselves as being liked and kind. And so you might start replaying conversations and, you know, not wanting to speak up because you don't want to be seen perhaps as being aggressive, or being too much, right? Because those might have more of that negative feeling. And so a lot of the women then tend to hold back for that reason. And here's the key. While you may want to be liked, right? It's being liked by the right people.
(00:11:27.972) LuAnn Buechler: Oh, very good. Yet, it's because it really goes back to, if I'm not mistaken, that desire to fit in.
(00:11:40.372) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yes,
(00:11:40.672) LuAnn Buechler: right,
(00:11:41.372) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: right?
(00:11:42.072) LuAnn Buechler: If I say the wrong thing, I might not fit in right.
(00:11:47.272) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: But,
(00:11:47.772) LuAnn Buechler: Again, would you agree with this? The people that fail to appreciate the philosophies, the ideas that I communicate are likely not my clients, not my tribe.
(00:12:06.372) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Exactly. Yes, right. And so it is about being—like, you don't want to be liked by the people that have a certain perception or certain way of, you know, wanting you to fit into that small space, right? You want to be in a place where people are going to allow you to expand and to grow. So, you know, that's why I say you want to be in the right, by the right people, and you were talking about fitting in, and so I agree that most people want to feel like they belong to a tribe or belong to a place, but it's putting yourself into the right tribe, into the right rooms. That's where the key is too.
(00:12:54.172) LuAnn Buechler: Right. Well, and would it be true that women that are boldly out there have a philosophy of not everybody needs to like me?
(00:13:09.872) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yes. That's right. Yes, absolutely,
(00:13:13.472) LuAnn Buechler: Absolutely. People who are timid about doing that are probably in the mindset of, I gotta fit in. I want everybody to like me, and it's like, you know, everybody's not gonna like you.
(00:13:25.672) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: That's okay. Because if you think about there are certain food or certain color or something that we don't like, right,
(00:13:36.972) LuAnn Buechler: That's right. There's a woman that I interviewed who talks about identifying who you are in relationship to a flavor of ice cream. And she says, not everyone likes licorice ice cream, and I'm like, oh, that sounds awful to me, you know? But you also don't want to be plain vanilla that everybody likes, right? You gotta be distinctive of who you are. Stand for that boldly and speak up with your voice on that to attract the right people in, to attract the right connections, the right clients, the right audience if you're a speaker who is aligned, as you said, with your authentic self and who you are. So you have a little bit different approach to communication than other communication experts. What makes you unique?
(00:14:35.172) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Well, I love all your questions here. So the LuAnn here that's coming up with one great question after another. So yes, you know, communication is a skill, and I believe you can build on your communication skills. I also see communication as energy, right? Because if there's energy in everything, there's energy in communication, the energy that you bring forth when you're communicating, you know. So, for me, communication is beyond just words, right? There's energy involved. So if you think about it, like if you walk into a room and you are smiling and you're standing straight, you know, good posture, all the other things, you know, you are already sending in your energy, right? And so people are going to already say, oh, you know what, she looks like a friendly person, relatable, you know, all this, right? Versus if you go into a room and, eye contact, you're looking down, your body is hunched, and you're looking for a table by yourself, and you're just sitting there and you're just doing your own thing, you know. You're going to give off the energy like, oh, maybe she doesn't want to be bothered, or, you know, maybe she just likes to be by herself, and so your energy may already be speaking up for you before you even say the words, right? And the person that is sitting at that table, you know, kind of being by him or herself, may be the most friendly person, you know, you just don't know just because of the energy, right? So your energy is important, right? So, you know, your body language and how you present yourself, because it's already showing up before you even speak.
(00:16:29.372) LuAnn Buechler: So, there's an old formula that I remember in studying communication, right, like body language is, what, 75%? 80% of the perception that people have of you, and is it tone in your
(00:16:50.572) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: voice? Yes, the tone in your voice, your facial expressions, even gestures, right? And then there's also energy in your words, right? If you say certain
(00:17:02.672) LuAnn Buechler: words of the communication, aren't they?
(00:17:06.372) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yeah, they are the smallest parts. But if you look at the whole package, right, the whole communication is not just words. I know a lot of people teach communication as this, and it's a skill. I'm not saying it's not, but it's also part of how you're showing up, right? Your energy that you're putting forth in your communication?
(00:17:30.172) LuAnn Buechler: Yeah, definitely. Um, and words do matter. I always say that words matter, and how you use them, right? So I have a little pet peeve. Tell me how I help people with this. I run into a lot of women who are constantly apologizing for themselves, and it's just like every sentence needs to begin with 'I'm sorry.' And it's like, what are you sorry about? Don't be sorry. Avoid starting with that sentence. How do we break them of that habit,
(00:18:03.472) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Right? Well, first, it goes back to the whole wanting to be liked, right, that, you know, I wanted to be liked, so I need to apologize if I'm disturbing the person or if I'm doing so their pre-approved way, right? The negative way. So one of the things is, like you said, just stop apologizing. Don't start your first sentence with 'I'm sorry' or 'apologies.' Just start your sentence with, 'Hey, I have an idea. Do you have time for me to share it with you?'
(00:18:40.472) LuAnn Buechler: Yeah,
(00:18:41.372) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: You know, instead of saying 'I'm sorry' another.
(00:18:43.972) LuAnn Buechler: Yeah, I'm trying to think of another circumstance, you know, but it does. What's coming to my mind today is, 'I'm sorry, but I disagree with you,' right? Or, 'I'm sorry. I see it this way.'
(00:18:56.272) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Or
(00:18:56.672) LuAnn Buechler: I'm sorry.
(00:18:58.172) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: And it's okay.
(00:18:59.972) LuAnn Buechler: If you see,
(00:19:00.372) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Sorry,
(00:19:00.872) LuAnn Buechler: I'm sorry. I'm so quiet, or I'm sorry I'm tired today so I'm not speaking up. You know, things like that. So there are different ways that it comes out, but yeah, I do notice that.
(00:19:15.672) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: And then one of the things is also embracing your worth, right? Embracing your worth, knowing that you don't need permission to take up space. Right, there's
(00:19:26.872) LuAnn Buechler: a lot
(00:19:27.072) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: A lot of times when you're saying I'm sorry, it's because you're like, I don't know if I belong in this room. I don't know if I should take up space here, so you are already worthy, right? So if you embrace your worth, you are already worthy, so you don't need to apologize to be in that room, you know? And if you see something differently, you can just say, oh, that's an interesting way of looking at it. I didn't think about that before.
(00:19:54.272) LuAnn Buechler: Well, that's a
(00:19:55.372) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Perspective, you know, there's a lot of different ways that you can share your own thoughts or own ideas and opinions, right? Without having to apologize, right? Because it's all about being worthy, worthy of taking up the space. You don't need permission for that.
(00:20:16.972) LuAnn Buechler: Yes, but that is it, isn't it? And what people need to remember is we all have a little bit of that word of Venus challenge at some level, but I think, Grace, that's why a coach like you in communication and communication style is valuable, because I'm sure you pick up on phrases like that that people repeat frequently and you can help them reframe it, rephrase it, and start practicing that new language. It's really poor programming in our subconscious that keeps that habit happening. When we know, you know, I'm a dear friend who does that and I keep reminding her, but I take that, right? It takes that reminder to shift out of an old pattern again, so the value of a coach like you. So another one I see, people, and I feel like I'm aligning. The timid, quieter, overlooked individuals often in a room with all, so having a challenge with conflict, conflict resolution, speaking up in situations of conflict. What is your advice on how you handle difficult conversations or conflict?
(00:21:50.672) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Right? So it depends on, you know, how the dynamic is, right? It's, you know, different if it's a family member or a colleague or, you know, so let's
(00:22:07.572) LuAnn Buechler: Work environment, because we're talking about business and professional conversation, right? So give us some advice in a business situation.
(00:22:17.872) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: So first off, you always want to remain calm. If the person is raising their voice or, you know, acting aggressively, you just want to remain calm and stay in your own lane and know your own boundaries. You know, as far as what is allowed and what is not allowed, if the person is being very disrespectful and you're starting to well up, you can just say, okay, right now, I feel like this conversation is not going to be constructive. Let's table this. Let's revisit when we're both calm.
(00:22:52.672) LuAnn Buechler: I love that redirection.
(00:22:56.572) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Absolutely, you know but always you want to remain calm and not react to how the other person is being,
(00:23:06.172) LuAnn Buechler: Right. Young managers and experienced managers who need to deal with an employee that might be perceived as confrontational. Confrontational is really the word. Conversation that I have to confront you with behavior correction. Any advice there?
(00:23:30.572) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yes. So again, remain calm, right? And it depends on, you know, what the behavior is, you know, and it's, and you can always question it. Like, I see this. Did you mean it this way?
(00:23:48.072) LuAnn Buechler: I love that. Oh, I love that. It's one of my leadership lessons—was to compliment first on one thing they do really well before you get into where you need to have corrective action. How do you feel about that?
(00:24:13.672) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yes, always, you know, it's, you know, you can always start with a positive, right? I like how you did this and I see this and I'm not, you know, you can always bring like, you know, I don't know if you mean to x y and z. Right. Because you what do you want is you want the other person to have the awareness because they may not be aware of what they are doing, right? So if you kind of, if they, you know, they might go, oh gosh, I didn't realize that and then, you know, then they can course correct. So a lot of the times, if you bring the awareness to the other person have the other person discovered that awareness, then they're going to say oh I now see this, I get you know, and then they're more likely to make the changes.
(00:25:03.572) LuAnn Buechler: Love that, it's in awareness. So one of the other things I often use and believe to be true is that that which irritates or upsets us in other people are things we likely do ourselves.
(00:25:21.672) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Absolutely.
(00:25:27.072) LuAnn Buechler: And so I also teach people to question, like if I'm upset or irritated by the way Grace is approaching a situation or talking to me, go, huh, where do I do that to other people? I usually can find it. I usually can find it, which puts me into a different awareness and perspective.
(00:25:58.572) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Right. Exactly, absolutely yes. Because like you said, a lot of the time it is projection, right? You know, a lot of the time we see something and it's just like, oh, you know, we want to change it too, right? And so when we see it, it's like, oh, I see that may bother me and then again it comes back to the awareness part of it. So then you can make the correction, right? Because then you know the action to take to make the transformation.
(00:26:29.472) LuAnn Buechler: Right? I think the other thing is people react rather than think about a response. Right? Like something's happening in the moment. I want to react right away without having thought about, wait a minute, what's really happening here?
(00:26:51.272) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Right? And that can all be because of the experience or the trauma or the history, because we all have our own backgrounds.
(00:27:00.872) LuAnn Buechler: And
(00:27:01.572) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: So from our own backgrounds, a certain situation may have occurred frequently or something that was said that we hear often, and that becomes a trigger point, right?
(00:27:14.772) LuAnn Buechler: The word that is in my head,
(00:27:16.872) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: you know,
(00:27:17.872) LuAnn Buechler: something else in your subconscious.
(00:27:21.572) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yeah,
(00:27:22.472) LuAnn Buechler: you're reacting to that. And the person that You're reacting to may not have any clue about that experience.
(00:27:31.972) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Exactly.
(00:27:32.672) LuAnn Buechler: Yes, you call it a trial and maybe not always a trauma.
(00:27:37.172) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: No
(00:27:37.772) LuAnn Buechler: triggers.
(00:27:39.872) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yes. But it could be, you know, an experience that occurred frequently enough that it just, you know, you and some people might try to say, oh, you know, not try to make a big deal of it and suppress it, right? And then over time, at one point they hear something in another situation, it just snaps and then they just react to it. So it's a lot about having to reframe, like you say. And that is like releasing some of those stories that you have about that past experience, or about whatever that history could be. And sometimes it's a big thing, right? And sometimes it could just be little enough, but it happens too often.
(00:28:31.572) LuAnn Buechler: Yeah, but you said something that I also want to highlight for everybody. I see a lot of people, especially those who like to avoid confrontation or timid, more quiet individuals, put up with inappropriate communication styles from others. Over and over again, they experience the same thing and then one day it explodes. So I coach people that, you know, do not let it get to the explode moment. I do appreciate you taking time to think about it, make sure you're calm and the other party is calm so that we can have a civil, respectful conversation, but burying it is not the answer.
(00:29:23.972) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: No. Absolutely not because they all come back. Yeah it'll always come back.
(00:29:29.772) LuAnn Buechler: Yeah. So what do you hope every woman watching or listening to us today walks away with believing about herself and her own voice?
(00:29:40.472) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Oh, lovely question. I have to say what I want every woman watching, listening is to know this: you matter. Your voice matters, your story matters, you know, the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. You know, I talked about the pearl, right? You know, the pearl doesn't just show up in the oyster. The pearl goes through sand, friction, the whole process. And so, like you, you're the pearl, right? Because you have your history, your stories, your good moments, the bad moments, what I call the good, the bad and the ugly. And so the pearl is already inside of you. You already have the value. You already have the words, you already have the voice, you just need to let it shine. So I always say, go shine your pearl with grace, soul and sass.
(00:30:40.772) LuAnn Buechler: Ah, I love that so much. Love that so much. Yes, we all have that pearl already and we're constantly working on refining it, so also understand that we can learn from opening our mouths, right?
(00:30:59.172) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yes, yes,
(00:31:00.872) LuAnn Buechler: We learn and we all refine and get better and that's what happens to the pearl. Beautiful message, Grace. So I'm going to be on Voices of Grace. Tell my audience what that's about.
(00:31:13.072) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: Yes, so I have invited five lovely speakers, right? And all sharing their perspective, their story, their expertise from their expertise point of view. Each of my panelists will get to share a lovely free gift or resource with the audience, and then it's just leading into helping women to gracefully unmute themselves. So, as Grace leads to gracefully unmute, go from quiet to confident, speak up.
(00:31:54.637) LuAnn Buechler: as fully and be heard. I love gracefully unmute yourself. So, our Voices of Grace, the one
(00:32:04.837) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: that I'm going to be on is August
(00:32:06.137) LuAnn Buechler: 20th. Correct? Yes. And
(00:32:09.437) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: What time will that be aired? So it is at 4 p.m. Pacific, 7 p.m. Eastern time, and it's all virtual. So everybody who registers will be able to watch it on
(00:32:26.637) LuAnn Buechler: the using the Zoom link.
(00:32:29.837) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: And then it will be recorded and we'll be recorded. Yes,
(00:32:32.937) LuAnn Buechler: For
(00:32:33.437) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: those who
(00:32:33.737) LuAnn Buechler: cannot attend? Of course, they will
(00:32:35.637) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: watch you
(00:32:36.537) LuAnn Buechler: Pacific. Yes. So that's 6 p.m. central, my friends in the central time zone. On August 20th. Tune into voices of Grace. We will make sure the link to register and participate with us, is in the show notes for this show. You got plenty of time to prepare for that. Get it on your calendar. You're gonna get some free gifts from some amazing speakers and learn more about how to gracefully unmute yourself. And I'm absolutely confident that will help you and your desires to make your passions pay. Grace, say that line again that You said in
(00:33:29.837) Grace C.W. Liu, GraceSOULutions.com: What do you want women to know about themselves? Oh, the line about go shine your pearl with GraceSOULutions. That's it.
(00:33:36.837) LuAnn Buechler: GraceSOULutions, that's it. That's our quote for today. Everybody have a great day and join us next time on Make Your Passions Pay.