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"Welcome to 'Parent Like An Athlete,' your ultimate guide to parenting with audacity, tenacity, and finesse. Hosted by the dynamic duo, Otis Grigsby, a former NFL warrior turned attorney, and his British wife, Gemma Grigsby, a successful healthtech marketing agency owner. Our mission is to navigate the parenting field with the same relentless drive as an athlete striving to improve by one percent each day. This isn't about winning or losing; it's about mastering consistency, transforming routine into an art form, and making everyday parenting an exciting journey. Are you ready to redefine your parenting playbook? Tune in and join our vibrant community as we tackle today's parenting challenges head-on!"
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:32:23
Unknown
welcome to our first episode. Yeah. Welcome. We are two parents who are figuring it out like the rest of you. The rest of you parents. And we decided to do this podcast because we thought it would be a fun, hopefully entertaining way to talk about parenting issues and what better way to talk about parenting issues than to talk about other people's parenting issues because we don't have any.
00:00:33:02 - 00:00:59:12
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, of course we don't have we have perfect parents. Now we'll talk about other people's problems and then we will talk about our own when it's appropriate, when there's some relevance, right? Yeah. Owner's any problems? Yeah. Yeah, problems. Yeah, right. When there are problems. So? So, yeah. So the way this works is we are going to essentially read some Reddit stories.
00:00:59:12 - 00:01:03:19
Unknown
We will be reading these for the first time. So you will see our reactions.
00:01:03:19 - 00:01:29:03
Unknown
I'm Gemma. I'm Oates's wife. I am mom to our beautiful son, Jude, who just turned one. I've never done a podcast before, so I've also never used a microphone before. So, you know, my audio might not be great. Yeah. So if there's any of these moments like Talladega Nights, so I'm learning, I'm learning where to look at the camera, I'm learning how to talk into a microphone.
00:01:29:03 - 00:01:56:03
Unknown
So, you know, maybe, you know, people tune into the podcast regularly. They'll see me evolve from a stumbling amateur to a professional podcaster. Hopefully we will be stumbling amateurs for the rest of our lives, at least in our minds. Yes. My name is Otis. I am Gemma's husband. And since we're we're going to follow the format here. And yeah, I used to play in the NFL.
00:01:56:04 - 00:02:15:07
Unknown
I'm a lawyer and I'm a I'm the kind of guy who just. I don't know, I feel like a this idea of parenting, like an athlete is kind of like, hey, when there's a problem, when athletes see a problem, it's not, Oh, no, the sky is falling. It's there is a solution and we are going to find it.
00:02:15:07 - 00:02:49:19
Unknown
We are going to fi0 figure it out so we know nothing. We're just experimenting and everything that that happens. Good for us is is by God's grace and by just, you know, sheer will will to to try different things and to not to not be like stuck in whatever hole of whatever it is we think we know. So we love your comments.
00:02:49:21 - 00:03:17:18
Unknown
Well, we have no comments yet, but hopefully we'll have some comments. I'm I am projecting comments on us and all comments. Welcome. Yes. And baby, be nice. It's our first time. Don't worry about being unkind. If you're unkind, YouTube will just filter your comments out and we won't see them anyway. It's magic, right? But no, seriously. Like what we want to to know is how you're doing these things.
00:03:17:18 - 00:03:46:11
Unknown
Like what do you think we really care about that Because, you know, we're figuring this out and it's like, Hey, how can we be the best possible parents? CrowdSource it, right? You know, Google doesn't have all the answers, but I guarantee some of you out there do. And I've actually gotten book recommendations from people on on comments, not this podcast, but a video that I made that like two people watched more than two people.
00:03:46:13 - 00:04:19:09
Unknown
But I but we got comments and and we care about them. So if you have some ideas, we'd be happy to talk about those comments and a future podcasts. All right. So we're going to get into our our first Reddit post and which one do you want to start with here? Let's. Oh, my husband sleeps all day. Yeah, that's a good one.
00:04:19:10 - 00:04:40:02
Unknown
Oh, boy. I'm going to let. Oh, no. What about this one broke up three your three year relationship over him disciplining my kids. Am I wrong? Yeah. I mean, I think that's a strong one. You know what? Let's start with a strong one. That's going to get you guys excited right after the headline has broke up. Three. A relationship over him disciplining my kids.
00:04:40:03 - 00:05:05:04
Unknown
Am I wrong? Probably not. But let's find out. Here we go. Here we go. Okay. We've dated for three years. Live together with my daughters, seven and nine. And his youngest daughter, 11 for two years. We were a family until last night. Wow. Okay. I got some bang snaps, slash puppets. Not sure what that means. That sounds like drugs.
00:05:05:08 - 00:05:28:05
Unknown
That does sound like drugs. Is it drugs or is it can they? Well, it says because 4th of July. So that must be. Oh, that's probably firework. Okay. Okay. Controversial context. Okay. We were outside and D seven. I'm not sure what that means. Throws one there. The dog daughter. Seven seven year old daughter is December. Oh, is this like internet Internet code?
00:05:28:05 - 00:05:52:16
Unknown
Yeah, there's lots of code. Yeah. Shorthand here. Yeah. Okay, so D seven throws one near the dog. I tell her to stop and she did it again. She's a very good kid, but she's barely seven and still learning. I definitely have a more gentle approach, but still don't let them get away with stuff. He is more stern, so he pulls out the pocket of his jeans and makes her hold onto it, follow him around.
00:05:52:16 - 00:06:10:10
Unknown
Some stand there while he's sitting. I say, okay, lesson learned. Let's tie this up and enjoy our evening and watch fireworks in the back deck. He tells her to give him a kiss on the cheek. She say she's not comfortable with that before I can even speak good on her. And then he says, okay, kiss on the hand.
00:06:10:10 - 00:06:30:02
Unknown
This is getting a little weird. I slightly creepy. Yeah. I'm not loving this. Okay, I interject and say no, think of something else. So he tells it to go to bed out of frustration. I'm not okay with any of this. He says he's trying to teach her humility. I say he's trying to humiliate her, kiss his hand like he's an emperor or something.
00:06:30:02 - 00:06:49:22
Unknown
Hell, no. We get into it over there and he got in my face and grabbed at my side and then suddenly must have thought that it wasn't a great idea and stop the grabbing. It was so in my face. Okay, this is escalating. It escalated to us breaking up. Things have been volatile for a while now, so kind of saw this coming.
00:06:50:00 - 00:07:07:08
Unknown
But last night I found myself booking a hotel for my daughter's night after midnight. Oh, and now it's my nine year old's birthday. Today. We're having a yes day. And they are happily swimming in the hotel pool right now. The look on her face last night was a Help me, mom, look. And I'm not about to let anyone affect my kids like that.
00:07:07:08 - 00:07:31:11
Unknown
I just won't. We haven't spoken since, and I'm just in my head. Second guessing, breaking up our family over this. I guess I'm looking for validation here. Did I do the right thing? Is what he asked of her. As ridiculous as I think he is, I thoughts on this one? Yeah. I think this guy sounds like a jerk.
00:07:31:13 - 00:08:03:05
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. It's a weird way to discipline a kid, especially a young girl, by trying to get her to kiss her stepdad. Yeah, the hold my pocket thing sounds like some weird stuff that I don't know if you guys remember. Scared Straight. I think it was called Scared Straight. You don't remember? Because I know what that is. It was on MTV, and there were, like, these bad kids or I don't even want to call them back kids because I don't really like the term.
00:08:03:05 - 00:08:37:06
Unknown
I think it's just kids who have bad parents, actually. Sorry, y'all, but you have your kids really bad. I'm going to start with the parent as the source of the problem. So these kids who are struggling to behave the way their parents want them to behave were taken to prison. And and, you know, there's like these prisoners that come out and it's like, hey, you know, this is this is what happens to you when you come to prison.
00:08:37:06 - 00:08:59:13
Unknown
And one of the things that one of these prisoners mentioned was making someone hold their pocket. It's like, I'm going to make you my we can't curse on your neck. We're not cursed in here. Like, literally hold on to like that, Gene. Yeah, yeah, hold, hold my pocket. Well, I don't get jeans in prison. That's not all right.
00:08:59:13 - 00:09:30:13
Unknown
Yeah, they're in, like, two luxurious robes or something. Something like that. Yeah, it's probably like a poly cotton blend. Pretty thin, very specific material. Yeah, I'm imagining a machine washable orange. Highly machine. The machine probably falls apart pretty quickly since they're using taxpayer dollars anyway. Yeah, but these guys, like, would make these people hold their pocket. And I think it was like a, it was kind of like a weird kind of thing.
00:09:30:13 - 00:10:12:04
Unknown
Like, so maybe this guy was in prison, maybe he's an ex-con and that's where he got it from. Yeah. Which makes it even more gross and creepy and I think if you are a single mom dating and you meet a guy, you know, I think, you know, if he's a horrible kind of dude or not, and I get the feeling that what this guy did was, you know, just one of many weird, creepy, gross mean, terrible things that he's done.
00:10:12:04 - 00:10:48:12
Unknown
And I got to say, like, when you have kids, I think it should just be automatic. Someone's trying my kid. Someone's trying me in front of my kids. We're not playing that game. We are. We're moving along. Like there's like this whole our family's broken up. Na na. Y'all aren't married. It's your boyfriend who has an 11 year old daughter, and I think everything will be okay.
00:10:48:14 - 00:11:13:06
Unknown
Yeah, you can do better, Redditor. Yes. Yes. And there's a lot of people out there who who I think, you know, maybe that maybe we do keep this because I think there's a lot of people out there, men and women, who believe that, well, it's like, well, well, there's all these if you've got kids, there's all these people who don't want to date someone who has kids.
00:11:13:08 - 00:11:33:15
Unknown
And then there might be people who do. But then you're like, Well, I don't really want to bring you around my kids until, I don't know, six months. Six months is like the the earliest I've at least heard, you know, maybe someone can correct me, but you don't want to bring these people around your kids. And and then when you do it, it just could turn into a disaster.
00:11:33:15 - 00:12:14:01
Unknown
You know, they might have a problem with the way your you've disciplined them. You're raising them like the way they talk to you or whatever. And and so it's hard, but I got to say, like cut fast, you know, like if it feels weird early, get out of there because I'm it's not about you anymore, you know? I mean, I know that your happiness is important, but, you know, you had your shot and, like, a fun, awesome life.
00:12:14:03 - 00:12:43:16
Unknown
Wow. Your life is over. You had your shot now. I mean, I'm not saying your life is over. No, I'm not saying your life is over. And but, like, come on. I mean, you you had your shot. Give the give the kid a shot to just have a good life. And and a good life sometimes means not having to deal with some jerk who who keeps you happy some of the time?
00:12:43:18 - 00:13:05:16
Unknown
I don't know. Yeah. This guy does not sound like anyone. You want your kids around, and I think this person obviously knows that deep down, she's just looking for the courage from a community to make a move. But it's a hot topic. Everyone obviously is. The people have spoken telling her that she's not wrong. We're not going to bother with comments.
00:13:05:16 - 00:13:26:21
Unknown
I'm all right. So I'm going to read Husband Sleeps all Day. That was the one that I was hoping for. I wanted to start with because I felt like, you know, there's little risk for, like, weirdness here. He's just lazy and a horrible teammate. You know, I'm assuming I could be wrong. You never know what's going to go on.
00:13:26:21 - 00:14:02:01
Unknown
We might find out that this mom is just overreacting. I'm joking. Oh, she's probably not. It's just not how it works. Women don't ever react. Never, never. Okay. Husband sleeps all day. What? The title says we have a four and six year old in the early days, he would sleep in every weekend day. That's every weekend. But okay.
00:14:02:03 - 00:14:26:22
Unknown
He would sleep in every weekend day and refuse to get up with me and the kids. So we implemented sleep in days to make it fair. I'm curious about sleep in days. I can I go to sleep and I know. Oh wow. Yeah. He gets to sleep in till noon. Oh, noon till noon on Saturday. I get to sleep in on Sunday.
00:14:27:02 - 00:14:56:00
Unknown
Well, look, this is a compromise. I like how this is going right now. Yeah, but we wouldn't sleep in anyway. Yeah, I refuse to sleep all day. That's a waste of a day. The problem is, I have to wake him up at noon on Saturdays, and then he normally gets up just before one puts the four year old down for a nap and then goes right back to sleep and will sleep until I wake him up after her nap.
00:14:56:02 - 00:15:26:20
Unknown
Okay, So, guys, Lazlo, also, what time is he going to bed? Like, maybe he should go to bed earlier, you know? I mean, okay, it sounds like doesn't have a job, but if he does have a job, well, it is the weekend. Oh, yeah. Good call. Right? I think this woman's overreacting. I mean, he's sleeping. He's up with the child, you know, Put him down for the child, for down for a nap, and then.
00:15:26:20 - 00:15:46:14
Unknown
Well, he's getting up an hour later than the agreement. Anyway. You should keep reading it. That's a good point. Hey, yo, what you're going to learn about me is I really do not like reading these things straight through. It's just so much more fun to comment as you go. But also because my memory, I can't remember all this stuff.
00:15:46:14 - 00:16:15:03
Unknown
These things are so long. Okay. So and you can see that she's correcting me on this. Like, I don't even remember why I just read. Maybe because I'm nervous. And Booboo, you know, be nice. Okay. So on Sun, on Sundays, he sets an alarm for eight and gets the kids between then and 830 and will fall back asleep before feeding them breakfast.
00:16:15:07 - 00:16:36:18
Unknown
Whoa, wait. What? That's weird. He goes and gets them up. And does what with them? I'm not sure. He'll doze on and off all morning and then right back to sleep when I get up at noon. Twice I've left the kids with him for the whole weekend and I suspect he's just slept through those days as well, setting alarms to get up and feed them.
00:16:36:20 - 00:17:00:01
Unknown
Our six year old is banned from YouTube because he gets addicted. And yet every time I come back from a trip, he's started watching it again, which tells me my husband hasn't been supervising him. It takes him several days to do chores, such as emptying the dishwasher and washing the laundry, washing the laundry. Husband works days Monday through Friday.
00:17:00:03 - 00:17:19:14
Unknown
He is not using drugs and only has roughly two pints to three or four per week. Okay. Well, okay, that's where I was going. I was like, These people are in England. How do you know that? We don't call? Do we call? Do? Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. He's just at home having a pint. I don't think we do that.
00:17:19:14 - 00:17:45:13
Unknown
We talk about alcohol like that here. That's true. That's true. I think he couldn't even get a pint here. Yeah, I don't think he can't unless he goes to a British pub. Mm. True. But it sounds like he's drinking at home. Yeah. Like a normal person. Drinking is bad. I'm going. All right, so this guy's on drugs now.
00:17:45:13 - 00:18:03:17
Unknown
Only so he drinks, like, a little bit. He has two or four pints. So this is also what she knows, though. That's a good point. That's a very good point. He could be a secret alcoholic. That's true. Also, does he smoke weed because she didn't say anything about that? Well, we as drugs, actually, I know we're we're not.
00:18:03:17 - 00:18:26:21
Unknown
Yeah, but a lot of people don't classify it as drugs, right? Yeah. But if you're going to use a blanket statement of not using drugs, I mean, I think you then need to clarify that you think that weed is not drugs, just like she mentioned alcohol. Right? Because technically, alcohol is is a drug A drug. Yeah. So she, she, she she understood the assignment then.
00:18:26:23 - 00:18:53:04
Unknown
Okay. But who knows? I mean, these are people on Reddit putting their business on on French Street, so who knows what they're thinking, right? No, they're looking for help. Not from us, but they might get it from us if they see this. If you can call us help. Is this help? So this is talking or is this a hot mess now?
00:18:53:06 - 00:19:14:22
Unknown
Well, you guys talk because you're going to look back on this years from now and be like, wow, their best stuff was the early years. Like somehow this one script it this will be the best stuff It's a be on a highlight reel. Yeah. So I think sleeping all day is neglect. He thinks I'm criticizing him for no reason.
00:19:15:00 - 00:19:42:21
Unknown
I tried googling, but I'm not finding anything relevant to this particular problem. I was curious what others think. Sorry. It's so long. Yeah. It's going to go with the thoughts first. We've already said some stuff, but yeah. I mean, I feel like it's a this guy doesn't really sound like he is that invested in his family. He sounds like, Wow, the man, the men works Monday through Friday.
00:19:42:21 - 00:20:04:00
Unknown
He's not in business for sort of most people. Yeah. I mean, he's not like if she's going to this town and he's like, just learn the kids, like, do whatever they want. I mean, something is going on with him. Like there is an issue that either she doesn't know about or she's not like communicating to read it. Okay.
00:20:04:02 - 00:20:25:08
Unknown
Is that your is that your full assessment? I don't want to cut you off now. You got you go. Okay. You want to wait until I say something dumb, then you can, like, jump on it. No, that's not how I was a was no, we don't do that. Um, my first thought, this sounds like an episode of Gray's Anatomy.
00:20:25:08 - 00:20:45:11
Unknown
So for all y'all out there who are Gray's Anatomy fans, it's like I could totally see this woman coming into the hospital with her husband and he's, like, collapsed. And they're like, What happened? And she's like, I don't know. He just fell down. And then they're gonna be like, Well, like, give us some more information. Like, has he been tired lately?
00:20:45:13 - 00:21:04:01
Unknown
Actually, yeah. He he sleeps, like, all day. So you're saying he has a brain tumor, then? Yeah. Then they're like he has glioblastoma or something, you know, like, is that a real thing? She's like that. That's actually real. I don't know if it's like. If it actually is, cause it's like. It's like, pauses. Like, I don't know if it causes, like, you just want to.
00:21:04:03 - 00:21:30:17
Unknown
And I might have said it wrong to correct, but according to Gray's Anatomy, it's something that is like, really, really hard to to cure. And I'm not a doctor. So that's why I said, according to Gray's Anatomy. But I think I have seen something about how they're using like either stem cell or viral treatments to cure this. This is totally not like the point of like what we're talking about right now.
00:21:30:17 - 00:21:50:08
Unknown
So I'm going to try not to veer too much, but I just did. So it sounds like a Gray's Anatomy story, right? It sounds like this guy has like something seriously wrong with him and she should not be on Reddit posting about this. She should be like going to the doctor. But we live in a no. This is this is a UK.
00:21:50:08 - 00:22:14:16
Unknown
This is this is this is England or maybe Australia. Yeah, these people have free health care, but you might have to wait a while to see a doctor. Yeah. You know, and that's the negative thing. So this guy might be missing out on some like some some care, some health care. Also, though, like, I'm curious, she doesn't say like, has she spoken to him about this?
00:22:14:16 - 00:22:32:14
Unknown
Like, how did the conversation go? What was his response? Yeah, he said he said that she's, um, being he thinks I'm criticizing him for no reason. I mean. Oh, okay. So. So the. Oh, go ahead. Nice. So he doesn't think that's a problem. Oh, he has no problem with this. So it sounds like he likes what he's doing.
00:22:32:14 - 00:22:55:02
Unknown
He's, he's actually comfortable with it. So maybe it's not an illness. All right, So, so like, well, maybe he's in denial because sometimes when people are sick, they don't necessarily realize. Right. It's good for somebody else to, like, point out it's good going on. Look at us. Look at a couple of sofa doctors. Maybe we should make some medical podcasts.
00:22:55:03 - 00:23:32:16
Unknown
We just I'm pretty sure YouTube would would like cut this show quickly. Yeah. No, seriously. Okay. So beyond the the illness thing, it just sounds like this guy is really worn down. So my guess would be and this is going to sound like really not nice, but I'm guessing the guy is probably significantly overweight, probably doesn't exercise. And and you know, that stacks you know, you've got kids you're trying to keep up with them.
00:23:32:18 - 00:24:00:21
Unknown
You're working. You're not getting like the best rest. Like just being and in like, terrible shape leads to not being able to sleep well, not, you know, then you start grabbing food that's terrible for you. And let's just be real, like, know there's some studies out there, plenty of them at this point that makes it clear that alcohol, no amount of alcohol is good for you.
00:24:00:23 - 00:24:39:23
Unknown
And the weird thing about it is I've known this since I was playing college football like that was 2000. The in the year 2000 that busted with a band that's three oh into the year 3000. I don't know that one but that's that's from a CONAN O'Brien shout out to CONAN. Oh, Coco. Yeah. That's what people call as friends.
00:24:40:01 - 00:25:14:19
Unknown
See, Coco like us, you know. And so, yeah, I like I already knew in the year 2000 that drinking one drink basically blows my my whole body like what my body's doing for a week. I mean, one drink will ruin what you're doing for a week. Okay, so you're lifting all these weights, you're eating the right food, You're, you know, you're running, you're working out whatever, trying to get your rest, and one drink will blow it.
00:25:14:19 - 00:25:44:14
Unknown
So I was that lame kid at parties. I wasn't lame. I was just I just wasn't drunk. And I think this guy is just, you know, he drinks, she says two pints a night. Oh, oh, oh, oh. And neither is a week. This is. Oh, she went, she came back and edited it. Okay, so edit to change two pints a night to three to for a week.
00:25:44:15 - 00:26:25:06
Unknown
Okay. In my frustration I overrepresented the frequency. Okay. So he does only drink 3 to 4 pints a week. I mean, according to this new regulations that came out from the Canadian government that the binge drinking. Oh yeah. He said you just said, you know anything more than two drinks a week. Mm. Is really bad. Yeah. What, what They should just not call it binge drinking though because the definition doesn't seem to like match up.
00:26:25:06 - 00:26:51:05
Unknown
Yeah. It doesn't really connect. Yeah. Like I'm binge watching this show that. But I watched two, two, three, four episodes in a week, but on different days it doesn't feel right. Okay. Anyway, so this one was it's a mystery. I mean, the husband just could be he just might not care. Hey, Monica, he might have a brain tumor.
00:26:51:11 - 00:27:15:14
Unknown
She might just be overweight and like a secret alcoholic. He might be burnt out. He might have something going on at work. We. He's having an affair. That's. I mean, highly unlikely. This guy can't even, like, stay awake during the day. Maybe he has narcolepsy. I don't know if that's how it works. Yeah, but I. But again, I don't know.
00:27:15:16 - 00:27:42:13
Unknown
Um, I tell you what. Let's see what our battery life is looking like. Okay? We're. We're not going to die on the battery anytime soon. Okay, So that was husband sleeps all day. What do you all think? I mean, has anyone seen this? Do any of you all do this like, or any of your. I tell you what I mean, On the weekend, first of all, you know what?
00:27:42:13 - 00:28:08:03
Unknown
Let me just back this up a little bit. This is not the end. This is not the end. I think I might be empathizing with this guy. She's saying this happens on the weekends. So he's like just tired from the week. And then but so she. No, no, no. Listen. Oh, hey, y'all don't get mad at me for putting my hand up.
00:28:08:03 - 00:28:51:10
Unknown
I know there's somebody. I'll be like, Oh, that's not nice. So look, this woman said that there are weekends where she goes away on trips and she's concerned that he's just setting timers to wake up to make sure he feeds the kids, and then he's sleeping the whole time. Okay, Where are you going by yourself, Like. And what?
00:28:51:15 - 00:29:14:14
Unknown
What right do you have to be like judging this man on how he spends his time, where he's on kid duty all weekend long while you're out having fun? I mean, she literally I mean, I think she said she went on. I've been out of town twice. Twice I've left him with for the work trip over the weekend.
00:29:14:14 - 00:29:38:02
Unknown
Like, why? Why is she I mean, a cute baby. You don't know what she does for work. I don't know what she does for work. But what I'm trying to say is, like, you know, you. You're doing something, people. We all choose what jobs we work. And if you're telling me that you chose to do a job where you're working on the weekends and in town, maybe she's the one stepping out is all I'm saying.
00:29:38:02 - 00:30:09:04
Unknown
I don't know. She might be the one who's the concern here. I just. I just I think the point is, if they both work, they both also have responsibilities with the kids. Right. And they've got this arrangement where they have a day. And if he's not pulling his weight on his day, then it's not great. It just sounds like she's I mean, I know that like he's fallen asleep before feeding them breakfast.
00:30:09:04 - 00:30:36:04
Unknown
So, you know, that's not great. But it doesn't seem like he does it every time. And it really does seem like he's tired. And also it seems like he she wants to sleep in, too. Like she's also someone who sleeps all day. I mean, there's like judgment here from her. But if you really dig into this like she is sleeping all day as well.
00:30:36:06 - 00:30:58:01
Unknown
I mean, on Sunday, she has a sleeping day. She was looking at him and kind of jealous of his sleeping habits and was like, I want some of that. I want I want in. Maybe they need to get like a babysitter or a family member to come in one day on the weekends. They can both sleep in. They probably just need to stop drinking and and start exercising more.
00:30:58:01 - 00:31:21:04
Unknown
But but like, I definitely feel like there's I mean, even this whole thing about the six year old being banned from YouTube because he gets addicted like, I know there's a lot of people out here that allow their child to be entertained with YouTube, But I'm just saying, like, if you're putting your kid, you put your kid in front of YouTube.
00:31:21:10 - 00:31:46:14
Unknown
So like he's banned from something that you like gave him. And of course he's addicted. Like it's literally designed. I mean, you guys are watching this video because YouTube knows that they know everything about you and they sent this to you thinking that you'd be interested in this and then you'd watch. And and if you're watching this, it's it's by design, not mine, designed by YouTube design.
00:31:46:16 - 00:32:08:14
Unknown
So the kid is not, like, addicted. He's just a human. And it's up to the parent to not give the kid YouTube to entertain him. But this is what it sounds like they've done. And and I hear and look, she says. And yet every time I come back from a trip, he started watching it again, which tells me my husband hasn't been supervising him.
00:32:08:16 - 00:32:53:14
Unknown
So I don't know. I mean, this man sounds like an imperfect babysitter and and not really the best teammate. But I got to say, like, if you are frequently gone, like, if you're I mean, she says every time yet every time I come back from a trip that sounds like a lot of trips if if if you're frequently gone this this is the this is the part like so we talk so here's here's a you know, you'll get to hear like our private conversations here kids are we have one and he's a little over one year old one year, though.
00:32:53:16 - 00:33:21:05
Unknown
How do you say that, one year old or one year a year? He just had his first birthday. So a year a year old, he's a little over a year old. That makes more sense than he's a little over one year old. I don't like him. One year old. Yeah, A is weird. Anyway, it's not weird. I just have problems with, like, the English language sometimes it's blame her, blaming her people.
00:33:21:07 - 00:33:57:07
Unknown
Yeah. So we we talk about so it's it's not easy. It's a it's a team sport parenting and we early on talked about getting help you know because like we both work from home but you still have to, like, work, right? So. Oh, what if we bring someone else in to help out? Sounds great. Except I cannot possibly expect to be able to dictate to someone exactly how I want them to raise my child to.
00:33:57:07 - 00:34:21:18
Unknown
To to think like me and do like me and and expect them to produce the like. We had a conversation. I was like, How much money do you want to spend on finding the person like this? Because as far as I'm concerned and look, I think this should be every parent, the value of you as a parent and what you are able to impart on your child.
00:34:21:20 - 00:34:42:16
Unknown
We're talking like I'm going to go ahead and say this is like hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. I mean, like like this is like I if for me to find a person who can be me or better for my child, this person like, really doesn't exist. So we're talking about a unicorn here in the world of recruiting.
00:34:42:16 - 00:35:18:08
Unknown
Like this person is getting paid like everything. They don't exist. So Mom expecting Dad to basically be like her while she is just gone. Lots of weekends. I don't know. I wonder. I'm going to say that they're both they're both the problem. And she's just it sounds like there's a problem with their relationship. Oh, of course. I mean, that's a communication problem.
00:35:18:09 - 00:35:50:16
Unknown
They're not like on the same page with the family goals. Yeah. I mean, she's on Reddit looking for help for others, like, so she can basically read the comments back to him about how bad of a husband he is. I mean, that's what she's doing. This is so, yeah, they definitely have we should just start that off and again like husband states are they you're basically putting your husband on Reddit instead of going to counseling like, okay, maybe.
00:35:50:18 - 00:36:13:09
Unknown
But I mean, I guess people want doing that. Like we wouldn't have a podcast. Well, of course not. We're not complaining about it. We're just saying I'm just saying you're right. She's they have relationship problems. But I think I think we all we all agree on that. Yeah. Any any last thoughts on on this? I mean, I feel like we covered the gamut on this one.
00:36:13:09 - 00:36:42:15
Unknown
Really. I'm trying not to slaughter you all, but I feel so comfortable. Oh, yeah. I feel like I'm starting to. We're free to slouch. I mean, we are in a house. I hope if you're watching this, I hope you're slouching, too. Slouchy sun slaps away your spread out. Get real comfy. I skipped watching Victor women yammer in his second summer summer basketball league game to talk about this.
00:36:42:15 - 00:37:08:17
Unknown
So. Oh, you're welcome. I'm sure the internet is is grateful we are on a roll. I'm going to do one more. Of course we are. Probably maybe, maybe two more. Remember, just like pick it up a little bit. All right. So we've got I'm just going to read. We've got my I don't know, my son's friend got into our private folder and I'm freaking out.
00:37:08:18 - 00:37:27:01
Unknown
Oh, yeah, that's a good one. This sounds like another weird one. The, you know, just going to walk right into and we're like, Oh, should we post this? But if you want, we can do it. I. Is it fair or is it rude to ask your partner to do things right when they wake up? Let's go for that one, because this one seems like pretty easy.
00:37:27:03 - 00:37:54:03
Unknown
But also there could be some context that we're not getting from the title. So let's start. Are you going to copy and paste that again, do you think? Yep, I'm copying and pasting. This is my job. You're the coffee taster. Are you getting better at it? That was that was much faster. So much faster. We're going to we're going to get this thing down to under 25 minutes one day.
00:37:54:04 - 00:38:14:00
Unknown
Okay. Here we go. Is it fair or is it rude to ask your partners to do things right when they wake up? Just some context. From the minute I wake up, I'm on the clock. I bed share with my baby. Big mistake. Thoughts on that? Lots of thoughts. Oh, sorry, y'all. Sorry, I don't do it. The one year old girl.
00:38:14:02 - 00:38:32:13
Unknown
So I'm immediately breastfeeding her. Then I change her diaper. I let dog out. Then my toddler, three year old boy usually has a. So then I change his diaper, get him a breakfast, not a big money eater. So just a piece of fruit toast. Only after I've done all that, so I get to my coffee or getting myself ready for the day.
00:38:32:15 - 00:38:56:16
Unknown
Then there's my fiance who rolls out of bed kind of whenever goes the coffee I've already made, then immediately sits down to check his stocks or the news. Or maybe does it in the bathroom for 30 minutes. If you like. All men do this. That's probably another topic we could talk about before doing anything for the kids. I understand how important is have me time first thing so I don't really fall into this.
00:38:56:18 - 00:39:15:01
Unknown
I'm more on about him waking up from naps on a day when we're both home with the kids all day. He'll take a three hour nap while I'm dealing with the crises. And today. But about 5 minutes after he gets up, I tell him I'm going to let the dog out, use it. Usually a 15 minute affair. His response was, Why are you going to do it right?
00:39:15:01 - 00:39:33:22
Unknown
When I wake up, I responded, Well, I've been away for the past 3 hours, so I'm going to step out the house. Him. Can't you just wait? I didn't respond and just left. Anyway, I kind of get what he's saying about having to do shit when you've just woken up, but it's also the middle of the damned day and you have kids and you just got to take a three hour nap.
00:39:33:22 - 00:40:22:19
Unknown
So yeah. Am I rude? You want to go? This guy is a street bum. Maybe he's friends with the other guy now. You know he's not friends with them. But, you know, the thing is, he's drawing from the same playbook. And here's a fun thing. If you guys are still watching this, whoever is watching this fun little thing, when we were expecting our son, every time I met a guy who has a who has kids, he'd say, Oh, congrats.
00:40:22:21 - 00:40:41:10
Unknown
Not a whole lot for you to do In the first three or four years. You know, you can just kind of hang back and, you know, let her take care of that, that stuff that feed in and all that changing because that's not, you know. That's not what we do. The fun. Then you get to do the fun stuff.
00:40:41:10 - 00:41:05:02
Unknown
When he's able to run around, play, throw a ball or whatever, it's around like three or four and you get to like jump in and do the dad thing. And it's not like I mean, I feel like Elon Musk. I mean, I saw Elon Musk saying something similar. He's like, Yeah, there's nothing really for me to do. So he's got all these kids and he doesn't really mind not being around because there's nothing for me to do.
00:41:05:04 - 00:41:39:07
Unknown
Obviously that's stupid and not true, and this guy seems like he's pulling from the same playbook. I think that, you know, the fact that it's happening is so this is a thing this is this is going to, like, upset somebody. Is it going to be me? Know, you've heard all this stuff. It's I'd be surprised if you were upset.
00:41:39:09 - 00:42:09:13
Unknown
I wow. There one of the things that Oprah taught me, I didn't watch much Oprah growing up, but I did watch it occasionally. One of the things Oprah said was, you teach people how to treat you. You teach people how to treat you. And there's a lot of different, you know, gurus and writers and whatnot who say things like, I am 100% responsible for what happens to me.
00:42:09:15 - 00:42:45:22
Unknown
I'm if there is a person in your life who is literally taking advantage of your generosity, your kindness, your desire to have order rather than chaos, and you just allow it to continue to happen, it is your fault. It is absolutely 100% your fault because you have control all over. Whether or not that continues to happen, you just do.
00:42:46:00 - 00:43:09:18
Unknown
But when you introduce fear, the fear of like, Well, what happens if I put my foot down? Is he going to leave? Maybe. But wouldn't that be better? You know, I mean, if this guy is not helpful, if he's not pulling his weight, I mean, of course, now they've got two kids together, so it's a big problem. But he was like that before the kids.
00:43:09:20 - 00:43:37:03
Unknown
This guy today is the same guy he was three or four years ago. I mean, they've got two kids together and it's her fiancee. I mean, that that engagement period might have been going on for five years for all we know. But good time to reevaluate that engagement. I would say. Well, maybe. I don't know. I mean, it's a tough time to break up with your baby daddy with a one year old and a three year old.
00:43:37:03 - 00:44:24:02
Unknown
But I guess what I'm saying is it's it's a these are things that can be avoided just by saying, look, you know, there is absolutely nothing, okay with what you're doing. You're you're not being a good teammate. Ladies, talk to your men in terms of in sports terms. All right. If you said something like, hey, pretend we're on a football team, do you think you would be okay if I woke up early, showed up to practice, ready to go read my playbook, watched my film, went on the practice field and was ready to go.
00:44:24:02 - 00:44:46:05
Unknown
I'm and and you as like, say, the quarterback show up whenever you feel like it. You don't read the playbook, you don't watch the film and you don't know what's going on when you show up on in practice. Is that fair? Is that is that a good teammate? Do you think you're going to win mini games? Talk to him in sports terms, y'all.
00:44:46:07 - 00:45:07:05
Unknown
It hard for him defend to defend that, right? I mean, like you're you're acting like a terrible teammate. I can't I can't stand by that. I don't want to have anyone on my team, the soccer teammates. So that's that's my thoughts. That was a lot. Sorry, but not because it's a podcast so people talk a lot, right? Yeah.
00:45:07:07 - 00:45:28:22
Unknown
No, I agree. I think the I think the title for this was actually a little misleading because when I read that as far as it reads, ask your partners do things right when they wake up. Like I personally do not like to be asked something immediately after I wake up. I thought that's I mean, the context of this obviously frames it very differently, right?
00:45:29:01 - 00:45:51:07
Unknown
Based on just the title alone, I was thinking, no, like you need to say good morning, know, like I want to be said, good morning. So already, Bill, how did you sleep? You know, a little, a little cuddle or something and then say, Hey, do you mind doing this for me today instead of just waking up? And the first thing that comes out of your mouth is like barking order.
00:45:51:12 - 00:46:24:00
Unknown
But that's not at all why this was going. So. Yeah, I agree with you. This guy sounds really lazy. He's not pulling his weight, is not being a team player, and that's not cool. Not cool, Not cool. Dude, fiancee. Get it together. Yeah. So you life out? Yeah, that's the word from apparently an athlete. Okay, let's go to another.
00:46:24:02 - 00:46:48:03
Unknown
Hmm. Oh, I've been really looking forward to this one. As you read the last one. I read the last one. Yeah. All right, I'll read this one. I've been looking forward to this one. I should have let you read this one, but we're going to read it. Okay, so we're copy. I don't usually refer to myself as weird, by the way.
00:46:48:04 - 00:47:17:23
Unknown
Oh, my goodness. What? Your. The original. The post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Oh, no. This post was gold. I'm certain of it. You really learn which friends are true and not after having a baby. I'm going to read some comments because the comments don't go away. You delete the posts. So someone says having kids sometimes means acquiring a new set of friends too.
00:47:18:01 - 00:47:40:20
Unknown
It's a major life change and not everyone is going to stick around for the changes. I can honestly say that I have a few friends, literally three at most that I've known since my childhood slash teens, and then I've filtered through a lot more over the years as my life changed. So of the friendships I had, it's pretty normal that one got a bunch of upvotes.
00:47:40:21 - 00:48:05:10
Unknown
This one. Here's another one to my very best friends ghosted me after my baby shower like they helped arrange. And this is all caps. Arrange it said congrats after my son was born and I haven't heard from them since six years ago. I've tried to text on their birthdays. One even said we should get together, but she wasn't available so she'd text me later and then I never heard from her again.
00:48:05:12 - 00:48:28:18
Unknown
Wow. Okay, that's weird. Yeah. Okay. I'm loving this. This is great. Here's another one. People without kids don't really know what to do with people with kids. They don't care about your kids. They don't care about your kids sleep. They don't care about people being all responsible and not drinking and smoking with them. And they certainly don't care about writing cards for your kids.
00:48:28:20 - 00:48:47:04
Unknown
It doesn't mean they don't care about you or want to spend time with you. The problem is there's so little of you available that it feels barely worth it to them to try to engage. If you didn't experience this from the other side first, that it might be hard to sympathize. I did. And we had no time for kids, for kids, people in our kids free life.
00:48:47:09 - 00:49:10:02
Unknown
Hell, even having my own kids, I have trouble wanting to bother with our friends, bother with our friends with kids. We all try because we're in it together. But these get togethers and trips are a shred of what they used to be. All of us mustering the effort to balance all the places we can go to get two beers and everybody in one hour, maybe before we all go deal with the kids again.
00:49:10:04 - 00:49:42:06
Unknown
Okay, this got really good. I the original poster just left us some gold with these comments, so I'll let you you guys, I feel like you're. Wow, you're dying to say something. Wow. We all these stories set me up. Set me up over here. Okay, y'all. All right, so let's just start. You do learn which friends are true and not after having after having a baby.
00:49:42:06 - 00:50:00:12
Unknown
And I'm going to go ahead and say this. This is going to get posted. And the people who I'm thinking of in my mind probably will never see this because they're not actually like my friend. Right? So they're then going to see this anyway. But if they did, you know, I would hope that they would, you know, see it and be like, Wow, am I being a bad friend?
00:50:00:12 - 00:50:30:20
Unknown
And the answer is yes. I look, you're either friends with someone or you're not. If if like you're only friends when it's convenient for you to be able to do things together that you want to do like drinking, you're not really friends. You're just this is just a drinking boy. This is a person who you bring around to enable you to do stuff that you probably don't need to be doing anyway.
00:50:30:22 - 00:50:57:00
Unknown
That's not a friend. So, you know, I think the the biggest issue with this post is a lot of people don't even realize that a lot of people that they call friends are not actually their friends. These are acquaintances. These are drinking buddies. These are these are peop a collection of people who fit in certain little boxes, very limited spaces.
00:50:57:02 - 00:51:15:01
Unknown
And this guy who made this comment is right in a way. You know, he says it doesn't mean they don't care about you or want to spend time with you. The problem is there's so little of you available that it feels barely worth it to them to try to engage. He's right and wrong in a way, he's wrong because, you know, they actually don't care about you.
00:51:15:06 - 00:51:34:14
Unknown
I mean, if they cared about you, then they'd find time to spend time with you. But when it comes to there's so little view available that it feels barely worth it. Well, guess what? This person wasn't really a friend. The only little part that they wanted from you is no longer available. So technically, there is so very little available to you.
00:51:34:14 - 00:51:51:18
Unknown
And it's kind of like, I don't know, a guy who only wants to call a chick to hook up with her. You know, he doesn't hang out with her unless he's hooking up with her. So guess what? If she says, I'm not hooking up with you anymore, there's so little left available of you. Like, I don't. I don't have time for you.
00:51:51:20 - 00:52:13:07
Unknown
And in essence, he does not care about you. So. So, yeah, we've seen it. And I, I it's not surprising to me at all, but I look at it as a as a gift. I want to know who is not really my friend. If I, if I were mistaken about whether you are a friend or not, if somehow I missed it.
00:52:13:09 - 00:52:42:07
Unknown
Man. Thank you to my son for helping me see the light. I'm not losing any sleep over this, but I'm a hand this over to you and get your thoughts. Yeah. You can make them, like, a little away from your mouth. And that was like this. Yeah. And I think we've been lucky because I think that we both have had people in our lives that have made the effort to, you know, hang out with us, with our son.
00:52:42:10 - 00:53:21:11
Unknown
Right. Like to come over to our house and to, you know, very much like, be flexible and like get to want to know our son and stuff, which is awesome. It helps me have a cool son, too. But yeah, well, yeah, but then there's definitely been people that you just don't hear from again. And then I think the other things interesting is there's people that you don't hear from and then as those people, you know, start to have kids, they kind of come back around and want to kind of reengage and be friends again because they realize that their lives are about to change.
00:53:21:11 - 00:53:42:18
Unknown
And, you know, they're like, oh, shit. Like, how do we do this kid thing? Let's reach out to the people that we know that have kids, even though we kind of kept them at a distance because they have kids. So that's an interesting dynamic too. Um, yeah, well, I feel like gonna say, Oh, I said, I said, Yeah, but my mike was down, so I.
00:53:42:21 - 00:54:04:02
Unknown
Oh, I realized that it was like, yeah, yeah. So I think it's, I think it's good. I think you get to know yeah, you get to know who your real friends are. And I think that for lot of us, I mean, for me personally, you, a lot of the friends that you think you have as an adult. Yeah.
00:54:04:02 - 00:54:28:22
Unknown
To your point and not really your friends, the people that you go out with and drink with and when you change your life in a way of starting to have kids, you know, for us, like we stopped drinking, you really do know who your friends are. And a lot of those friendships were kind of fake and you are better off without them.
00:54:29:00 - 00:54:58:14
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. A lot of a lot of judgment over everything. Like, Oh, you're spending time. Would you like to go on a five day trip? You know? Do you want to go on a booze cruise? I have a I have a baby. And that's weird that you're asking. And it's weird that you're confused about my response. My to no response.
00:54:58:14 - 00:55:44:03
Unknown
Well, can your wife take care of you? He's a baby. The the trips. I can resume trips when he's older and and yeah. Anyway so yeah people don't like they don't they don't really want to find a way to hang out because they're just not really friends. And I definitely understand, you know, I actually like reading from the other people's viewpoints, but I promise you, if I'm friends with somebody, if we're really friends, I'm not trying to dictate the terms in which we hang out and saying, well, we I'm not down to do anything that requires it to be kid like not man.
00:55:44:05 - 00:56:05:02
Unknown
Also, I find that with some people I can breed a lot of resentment. You know, if you get to a place in your life where you have met somebody that you want to have kids with and your friends have not, they you know, there's jealousy, there's resentment. And like that, you know, drives a wedge. And then when the kids come, it's kind of like the final straw.
00:56:05:02 - 00:56:26:09
Unknown
So but again, like, you know, you're better off with those people because if people want to keep you, you know, at the level where everyone else is and when someone in the group starts to grow and change, however that may be, you know, it really does show you who your true friends are. Yeah. Yeah. Keep an eye out for the people who are happy for you.
00:56:26:09 - 00:56:49:08
Unknown
And good things happen in your life. I pay attention to it. So if you guys are watching, if somebody who knows me is watching this, I'm paying attention to how you respond when I share good news with you and I'm not sharing good news with you a second time. If it's not if it's a hater response, we we probably won't we probably won't see each other.
00:56:49:10 - 00:57:13:19
Unknown
I don't waste much time. You don't do it anyway. Let's see. I think this comment might be a good one. I haven't read it yet, but I have a good feeling. This is one. I'm not reading anyone's anyone's handles either. Okay. Yeah. I was looking for this comment. I don't think it's fair for OP his original poster op his friends to exclude them just because they have a baby.
00:57:13:20 - 00:57:34:20
Unknown
However, it's also kind of much to organize people to hang out and night at night. Okay, poor grammar hang out and night and then get mad when they talk too loud or come a little later and that they should tiptoe around your baby all the time. I mean, it kind of makes sense why they don't want to come.
00:57:34:21 - 00:58:01:00
Unknown
You shouldn't expect people to bend around your will all the time simply because you have a baby. First of all, this woman did not. Actually. You know what? Hold on. We didn't we don't have the original post. We don't? Yeah. So I was going to make a comment about how she didn't read the post, but guess who didn't read the post?
00:58:01:02 - 00:58:26:23
Unknown
US. US? We didn't read the post. Yeah. Look, I mean, the tiptoeing around your baby, that is annoying. I mean, the people who are freaked out about like you waking their baby, that's annoying. I mean, I'm not going to lie. That's. That's annoying. I our child is sleeping right now with music playing in the background along with white noise, because we wanted to make it impossible to wake him up.
00:58:26:23 - 00:59:00:12
Unknown
We wanted people to be like having fun and know for a fact that he's not going to wake up. So yeah, I get that. But that's no reason to just like, just not be a friend. Yeah, I mean, I think that the other thing is, is a baby is a baby for a very short amount of time in the context of if you've been friends with somebody for five years, ten years, they have a baby, you know, like the first six months, maybe you don't see them that much.
00:59:00:12 - 00:59:23:21
Unknown
Maybe when the baby gets, you know, nine months, 12 months, you start to see them more and stuff. I mean, it's a very short period of time and in your friendship. So if the friendship is worth, you know, pursuing and being friends with somebody, if that if they're worth it, then, you know, you should just make make a the effort for the short period of time that they have a baby.
00:59:24:01 - 00:59:51:01
Unknown
And, you know, that will probably come back to you over and over again with, you know, how people treat you when you're in a situation, you know, whether you're sick or you have a child. So I think, yeah, treat people how how you want to be treated. A, are we going to do a more, let's see, discipline, a dirty word?
00:59:51:03 - 01:00:13:08
Unknown
Mm hmm. I'll read this one. I mean, I guess it's your turn, but you read a Jim. I read a dud that is not going to air because it was really sad. We thought it was gonna be good, and it was really sad. Yeah, And just gross and not a vibe. Yeah, it's not. It's not what we're doing.
01:00:13:10 - 01:00:42:00
Unknown
So she read that one? I'm sorry. This one. I cannot help but notice anytime a user mentions discipline as a form of fixing a issue, they are downvoted and often openly insulted. Why? At what point do discipline become a bad word? Who in their right mind thinks it's a good idea to let children run the household? Because reading most of these posts and I don't comment often, I will tell you discipline would fix most of your parenting issues.
01:00:42:02 - 01:01:12:00
Unknown
Whew. Hot fire, hot fire fight. If you want to take this, you know, and take a shot at this one, you start at the end. That's it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's it. Yeah. Okay. That might be the shortest one that we've seen. Concise. We love it. Except when we're talking. Yeah, I think that discipline is underrated. I think that it's.
01:01:12:00 - 01:01:33:21
Unknown
I mean, we've talked about discipline a lot and what we plan on doing with our kids. And I do think that there is a lot of people shy away from discipline a lot these days. There's a lot of styles of parenting that are very much like let the kid do whatever they want and like, you know, follow their hearts and dreams and wishes.
01:01:33:21 - 01:01:53:05
Unknown
Nothing wrong with follow your heart and dream. There's nothing wrong with that. But I think that part of parenting is steering the kid on the right path, providing them guidance, you know, telling them when something is wrong so they know the difference between right and wrong. And they can grow up to, you know, critically think about the differences between right and wrong.
01:01:53:05 - 01:02:18:23
Unknown
And without discipline. That's those are hard lessons to learn. So yeah, I think discipline is is super important. Obviously, there's lots of different ways to do it and that can be controversial in itself. But I think at the core it is something that's really important. And I think that kids that have discipline and a discipline and ultimately benefit, it benefits them.
01:02:19:01 - 01:02:53:22
Unknown
Yeah, I mean, this is an easy one, right? This is this podcast is called Parent Like an Athlete. What athlete do you know that has done anything that's notable of note worth mentioning? I'm seeing the same thing three different ways. I know without discipline, what athlete does anything that you care about without discipline? So if you have a problem with disciplining your kids, then you don't want your kid to play sports.
01:02:53:23 - 01:03:18:23
Unknown
You don't want your kid to do anything. Well, as far as I'm concerned, and yeah, discipline does take the form. Different forms is different ways of disciplining. Like I think sometimes people, you know, get hung up on whether you're, you know, physically disciplining a child. I'm not going to get into all that right now, but it's a thing.
01:03:19:01 - 01:04:03:20
Unknown
It's one of those things that when I look at the problems with our society, the things that we universally hate the most about our interactions with other people, it comes down to their own lack of discipline. It's no wonder that so many parents have a problem with the concept of disciplining their child because they are undisciplined themselves. So it's kind of like holding the mirror up to someone, right?
01:04:03:20 - 01:04:28:16
Unknown
And it's like, well, if you say you if you discipline your child, then your problems would go away. That person is now understanding and or hearing. If you discipline yourself, your problems will go away. Your the problems that you have would go away. And we can talk about, you know, lack of discipline. I mean, I'm not always the most disciplined person I've been.
01:04:28:18 - 01:04:51:22
Unknown
I've had like moments where I've been super disciplined and there's other moments where I'm like where I've fallen off and and I've paid for it, you know? I mean, I'm doing this podcast right now, you know, in terms of starting a podcast, this one's going to stick out for real. I'm going to say I'm disciplined on this, but you know, there's all these different things, these things that we want, we prefer to have.
01:04:51:22 - 01:05:13:04
Unknown
And and, you know, kids are no different. And the problem with being an adult is you you get to a point where no one can actually tell you what to do. And so it's on you to be self-disciplined. But the concept of self-discipline requires that someone actually teaches you how to do it. You have to be taught to be disciplined.
01:05:13:06 - 01:05:31:06
Unknown
Yeah. And if you look at like I mean, even outside of athlete, I mean, athletes are a great example. But like, if you look at some of the most successful people in the world, like, they're all very disciplined, you know, like they you know, you read all the time like, you know, these people get up at a certain time in the morning, they have their morning routine.
01:05:31:06 - 01:05:52:02
Unknown
They do they have carve out time to do this. They carve out time to work out. They they know what they're going to eat. They make sure they eat healthy and putting the right things in their body and, you know, getting their morning sunlight in and all of these things, all these micro habits that add up to being disciplined and being successful.
01:05:52:04 - 01:06:28:14
Unknown
So, yeah, I think it's it's like a real cornerstone of helping your kids be successful and be happy too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Discipline. There's so much to discipline, right? Like having the ability to just control your mind is an act of discipline. It it requires someone to do the work of helping discipline you so that you learn how to discipline yourself.
01:06:28:14 - 01:06:44:07
Unknown
Like if you can't, if you have no discipline, no self-discipline, you can't control your mind, your thoughts. If your child gets to run wild and do whatever your child wants, I'm going to eat whatever I want. I'm going to say whatever I want to do, whatever I want to go to sleep whenever I want, and I'm going to hit whoever I want to.
01:06:44:08 - 01:07:08:22
Unknown
And, you know, whatever it is, you know, we can say, Oh, that's normal. That happens. Or we can just say it's normal. That happens because of lack of discipline. And, you know, it's a tough thing to do. It's it's a it it's scary. You know, you want your kid to like you. You want your kid to be happy and not sad.
01:07:08:22 - 01:07:36:17
Unknown
And and, you know, I'm with this parent. I'm and I think that's an important point about parents wanting their kids to like them. I saw really get maybe you showed me a video on Instagram about I'm going to mess, I'm going to mess it up. I can't really remember. But it was basically saying something like, you can just make it up.
01:07:36:17 - 01:08:12:10
Unknown
This is the Internet. Oh, that's true. That's true. Like the first if you if you discipline your kid for the first part of their life, then that kid is, you know, then you get the benefit of being able to be friends them in later life. Whereas if your priority is to be friends with your kid in younger life and they're younger years, then you know, they're going to be very undisciplined and they probably won't want to be around you when they're older, you know, when they leave home and they can choose whether to come back or not, they won't.
01:08:12:10 - 01:08:39:12
Unknown
Whereas if you disciplined them and really set them up in that way to be able to like, critically think and have all these good habits and good behaviors that ultimately lead to their success, then they're going to want to be around you later in life. That part. Yeah. It's it's like it's of like the the last topic, right, with the fairweather friends or acquaintances.
01:08:39:12 - 01:09:06:23
Unknown
Like if you if you are someone who only where I only really care about to meet certain needs of mine I'm and you're not someone who comes in with the whole package you know. So as a parent like, well I'm going to be there for you to, you know, make sure you've got a nice car and nice clothes and all these things.
01:09:06:23 - 01:09:29:19
Unknown
And and then, you know, but there's no there's no real life lessons. There's no discipline. There's there's no real structure at a certain point when they're old enough and it's like, well, you're on your own or the kid's like, well, if you're not giving me anything that I'm not going to be here. Like, what? What have you done for me lately?
01:09:29:21 - 01:09:56:21
Unknown
But a kid who's been disciplined learns about wisdom and realizes that not only is wisdom from your parents free because what parent is not going to like is just going to stop giving wisdom. But like it's hard to find out in real life. This is literally why all these posts exist on Reddit. Wisdom is not out there on Google, Google, Google.
01:09:57:00 - 01:10:20:23
Unknown
First of all, you know, can I just tell you that Google hates you? They don't hate you. They actually love you. They want they make money off of you, so they love you. But like you Google something on Google, something on Google or Bing, if you're a while, there's something I'm doing. Yeah. If you're bringing it, bringing it Google in and bringing you don't use Bing.
01:10:21:00 - 01:11:08:05
Unknown
Yeah 9% I think of the population and it's a thing. It's probably increasing with tragedy to be honest. But you're you're being fed a a mix of responses that got to you search engine optimization. So be careful about just taking whatever you find on Google on first page because someone either paid for you to see it or they paid someone to engineer the words in a way that the search engine would crawl and find everything and be like, Oh, this is a good response and also a great way for us to make more money for clicks.
01:11:08:07 - 01:11:30:17
Unknown
So yeah, I, I, I think the kid is just like the fair weather friend when you give the kid whatever he or she wants, rather than being someone who gives them what they want and what they need. So yeah, discipline now was a good one. That was a good one. Yeah, that was a good one. Let's get one more.
01:11:30:19 - 01:11:57:13
Unknown
Um. I'm so angry at my baby for not sleeping. Definitely not. Want to read that? That sounds horrible, but if you're angry at your baby for not sleeping, you know? Yeah, that's not. That's not something that sounds shocking. Oh, boy. We've got our tablets really that bad? Do I want. Do we want to go with that one or.
01:11:57:15 - 01:12:22:15
Unknown
Okay, I'll give you two options. We've got our tablets really that bad? We've got what are the biggest costs associated with having children and then all this one might be better. I got my ass torn up in this community for my potty training method, But it worked. Yeah. Let's do that one. First of all, y'all, this is an opportunity for us to learn something because someone had the guts.
01:12:22:15 - 01:12:59:08
Unknown
The hot spot. Hot spot. But one is to to put their potty training method. That sounds like it's unconventional on this thread. Subreddit, whatever for parents and people were mean, but apparently this person got the last laugh, so I'm going to let Gemma read it and it's long, so we're going to just go for my glasses next time.
01:12:59:10 - 01:13:31:09
Unknown
Yeah, I, I maybe that's maybe earned. Or just maybe I'll get Lasik. Yeah. You know, contacts work too, but. But guess what? We've got this reader view of things, so it works. Hey, guys, I'm posting this as closure for myself After a few members of this community were awful to me about my potty training choices. Some were very kind to my original post was about my son is three and a half refusing to tell us that he pooped and is developing rashes in his diapers.
01:13:31:11 - 01:13:51:08
Unknown
I asked the forum if, based on this it made sense to just take away the diapers. I ended up getting a few responses that I needed, saying yes, and then a bunch of responses saying I neglect my child and don't parent because I hadn't started potty training sooner. My husband suggested I explain our strategy now that I'm done crying.
01:13:51:09 - 01:14:26:00
Unknown
One commenter really enjoys making fun of how sensitive I am. He's not right and he is right. I'm a very sensitive person. It's something I like about myself because I was abused as a child and had to learn how to express my emotions using was in tears instead of drugs. So here we go. Okay. First of all, my son has always watch us go potty from day one, we would talk constantly about what we were doing, how we did it, etc. When he was two, we had him do it naked, do naked tie, do naked for a week.
01:14:26:02 - 01:14:50:12
Unknown
He couldn't tell. I'm really struggling without my glasses. I'm going to read this. Okay, So I'll read this. Um, all right, first of all, first of all, I'm not going to do the accent, but I'll talk like a woman. Kind of. All right. Maybe I won't do that. I think I'll just read it. Are you picking up where I left off?
01:14:50:15 - 01:15:14:06
Unknown
Yep. First of all, my son always watched us go potty from day one. We would talk constantly about what we were doing, how we did it, etc. When he was two, we had him do naked time for a week. He couldn't tell when he had to go and ended up feeling immense shame and his accidents. We never scolded him or were upset.
01:15:14:08 - 01:15:42:03
Unknown
He was born with a lot of sensitivity. Go figure and feel shame whenever he doesn't live up to his ridiculously unkind expectations of himself. I got to say, I feel like these ridiculously unkind of himself that still feels like, you know, I don't know, I'm not there, okay? I'm not going after that. And seeing how upset he was getting we slowed down and went back to diapers, but we would ask him every day if he would like to try the potty.
01:15:42:04 - 01:16:04:01
Unknown
Sometimes he would and sometimes he would. He would even go pee, but most of the time he wouldn't. He loved using the potty after overhearing other kids do it, but no luck otherwise, then he started hiding his poops from us. He would get rashes mild enough to go away. By the end of the day, after some cream, we kept talking to him about telling us when he has to poop.
01:16:04:03 - 01:16:24:01
Unknown
So we can clean it up sooner. We also kept offering to take him up to the party hard. No, on both. After I made my post here and got encouragement from a group of people, I set my son down and told him that he's a big boy now and that he means. And that means we can't. We just can't wear pull ups at all anymore.
01:16:24:03 - 01:16:41:14
Unknown
Hiding the poops is a safety hazard, and it is my job to keep him safe. He said he wants to stay little. I told him he will always be our our baby, but he will be so happy to be a big boy when he's with his friends. That was on Thursday. Since then, he's only worn a pull up to bed.
01:16:41:15 - 01:17:01:09
Unknown
No accidents during the day and so far he's only when his nighttime his nighttime pull up once. Most importantly, he's happy to use the potty. He's very confident in knowing when he to go, and he's very proud to inform us when he needs to go. He's too scared to wear underwear when we go places because he doesn't want to have an accident.
01:17:01:11 - 01:17:21:14
Unknown
So he still wears ups in the car, but no accidents. I know that success isn't linear and he will fall back here and there, but after reading comments of people questioning my ability to parent, I lost sight of my goal briefly. Now, remember, my real goal was to ensure that he didn't feel immense shame around the party and I've done it.
01:17:21:16 - 01:17:40:17
Unknown
I'm proud of myself. And to anyone who is also going against the standard potty training timeline, I was chewed out for being chewed out for him being three and a half and still wearing diapers. I believe in you and trust that you are doing it for your kiddo. I will probably get downvoted to crap for this because you're supposed to act like.
01:17:40:19 - 01:18:21:17
Unknown
Don't care about how people talk to you online. But like I said, I'm a proud, sensitive baby of a person, so go ahead and crap on me. I don't care. Of course that's a lie I'm going to turn off notifications for this post and maybe my husband will read them to me later while I'm crying L.O.L. Well, kudos to this woman for putting her comments out there, sharing what she's what she's going through and sharing how it made her feel when people were rude and mean.
01:18:21:19 - 01:18:44:14
Unknown
I'm going to go in and say kudos to her and great job. Turn off the notifications. Like, I mean, back, you know, back when, you know, I did post some stuff on YouTube a very, very, very long time ago and I did not read any of the comments because there was no way for the algorithm or whatever I to filter that stuff out.
01:18:44:14 - 01:19:12:06
Unknown
And there was some horrible stuff on there. And I play video games online and sometimes people say some really nasty things. So kudos to her for putting up there and and leaving herself vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. Some vulnerability. Yeah, we like vulnerability. Keeping it real. The only thing so here I don't know anything about potty training a child. I don't need to worry about that right now.
01:19:12:06 - 01:19:33:12
Unknown
Our child is one. We've got a book I'm looking at right now. It's the middle book on the shelf. Moms on call. I'm fantastic stuff. And in that book, I assume they're going to teach us how to do the potty training thing. Yeah, I hope so. I've Taught us how to do everything else. They taught us a bunch of other stuff.
01:19:33:12 - 01:20:10:16
Unknown
I'm going to just read that book and not really worry about it, but I will say that every kid's different and I think everyone we all know that and appreciate that Everyone, every kid is different. Every situation is different. But you know what's not what's not different about kids? I think it's is that kids have a they have their they have powerful, powerful, powerful abilities when it comes to just thinking and reasoning and and, you know, just dealing with logic, Like, I mean, they're not, you know, fully grown and fully and all that.
01:20:10:16 - 01:20:39:15
Unknown
But you can explain things to kids. You can you can craft a narrative around something, around something that they want. And and it can just make sense for them that that story is not surprising to me because, you know, when I imagine what I'm going to do with our son when he's older, so much of it is just going to come down to son.
01:20:39:17 - 01:21:08:09
Unknown
I know you want X, correct? Yes. Great. Well, if you want X to happen, then you're going to need Y. And if you don't, then it may happen. It may not. And and and it feels like that's what this woman did with her son. So, yeah, it seemed like the defining moment was when he believed that he could do it, which is interesting.
01:21:08:11 - 01:21:29:10
Unknown
It kind of ties back to what we were talking about before with like disciplining your mind and thinking in a certain way. So that's that's an interesting cross-pollination of all of our topics. But yeah, and I think with his age, like, I don't know any so I suppose trying is I think is it start they say you can start from like two.
01:21:29:10 - 01:22:04:15
Unknown
I have no idea. We don't know a lot you all we don't know. But if they say if they say whatever age they say, I'm going to start sooner because you know like if we're talking if we're talking about averages, right. That means like you're talking about the average. I'd rather start earlier. Some of y'all might not like that, but I would rather start earlier to diapers and actually go diapers are expensive.
01:22:04:17 - 01:22:29:08
Unknown
That reminds me, Amazon Prime Day is coming up and I read that diapers are 40% off. Mhm. That's a pro parenting tip for everyone out there. Yeah. We should maybe we should buy the level fives in the sixes and just get a whole room full of diapers. Well so the smaller ones to ask a point. Yeah. Okay. We're having another baby.
01:22:29:10 - 01:23:01:12
Unknown
Yes. Okay. So hadn't noticed with my hand on my stomach. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's not any old bump. Yeah. This isn't my four pints. And I know that's not a post brunch bump. I mean, maybe a little bit, but you know the difference. Uh, yeah, Yeah, We've gotten off track. Always saying the potty training. Yeah, I'm sure she had her reasons for waiting.
01:23:01:14 - 01:23:36:01
Unknown
I'd be curious to know what those were, but yeah, I think. I think she. She got it right. You know, I think once getting the kid to believe that they can do something, I think that's what's going to empower kid to be able to do anything. And I think that's a really important practice to have in your in your home and with your kids like, you know, constantly be talking to your kid about all the things that they can achieve, how great they are, how they can, you know, really building their confidence to to kind of go out and do what they want to do.
01:23:36:01 - 01:24:06:20
Unknown
Obviously not in a way that turns them into a narcissist, but just, you know, building into them and, you know, building them up and giving them confidence. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I think also she just took that she just took his diapers away. Right. I think she just well, she said that. Oh yeah. He, he would enjoy being a big boy around his friends.
01:24:06:20 - 01:24:43:08
Unknown
He could hang out with his friends and not worry about. Yeah. So she him the she gave him the, the carrot on the train, you know, the transformation imagery, what we call that. And marketing the, the result. So yeah. So you actually paint a picture for him. Yeah. That's what his life could be like. Yeah. And better to do that with kids because at some point people get older and, and they start telling themselves that the result is impossible because they don't want to do the, the work.
01:24:43:08 - 01:25:07:11
Unknown
So I'm and that's why it's I think so important to to build into kids so from a young age of what they are capable of because if you give them that mindset at a young age, then they're going to have a it's much harder to, as an adult adult, that mindset when you, you know, just a much more cynical and like know you have more lived experience.
01:25:07:11 - 01:25:36:19
Unknown
But for a child giving them that is really giving them a gift I think. Yeah. Also, I don't know if any of you guys remember this book. I think it was called I Can't, said the aunt, and I don't remember what happened in the book exactly, But basically it's like a book that teaches kids about not saying the word can't about how, you know, powerfully horrible that word is.
01:25:36:21 - 01:26:00:10
Unknown
And it's a word that I don't like to hear. I don't like the word should. I don't like the word can't. I really don't like the word can't. And I have to stop myself sometimes. Sometimes I'm like, oh, you can't have that. And it's like, let me change that. This is not for you, son. I got something else for you.
01:26:00:12 - 01:26:22:19
Unknown
This is not for you. This is not for you. Not you. You can't have it because it really is like. Like we just train ourselves and train our kids to just think that they can't do stuff. I can't. I can't. I can't know you. You can if you grow up some years and I can trust you with this.
01:26:22:19 - 01:26:52:09
Unknown
But right. It's not for you. But yes, one day you you can and will have this thing that you want. Oh, yeah. So anyway, it's this one. This was very fun. Yeah. I hope you all had fun. Yeah, I hope you all had fun. I hope you learned something. And even if you learned that Otis and Gemma are just horrible people who I hate, but I can't stop watching them.
01:26:52:10 - 01:27:20:02
Unknown
Oh, hey, look, whatever I was going to say, whatever gets you tuned in. I mean, because it's like if you're listening, something's going to something. You can be like, I hate this guy's face. His moving the way licks his chapped lips, and I don't know, accent is so annoying. What is it, British or Australian or I can't tell Or or is it like South African?
01:27:20:02 - 01:27:48:06
Unknown
I don't think it is said she's from England, but I don't know. I don't believe it. Yeah, but I'm afraid to put it in the comments because YouTube might ban me. Be afraid of that. You to my advantage for and then that would suck because like you these comments they're attached to your email address sometimes like this and I guess you could get a burner account and say horrible things.
01:27:48:06 - 01:28:20:06
Unknown
But I could just be nice. You could just be nice. I mean, the world works in fantastic ways for people who are kind. Yeah. Coming through. Well, I wouldn't call it karma, but yeah, don't be rude. Okay. Yo, that was us talking about Reddit parenting stories. Yeah, On our first ever first in like an athlete podcast, first parent, like an athlete podcast.
01:28:20:08 - 01:28:50:15
Unknown
And first of many, you're not going to be able to get rid of us ever. The algorithm will find you. We're going to be like the cockroaches of YouTube. If you don't if you don't like us, you're going to have to delete your account. We're coming. Oh, yeah, Yeah. Don't. We might even like, buy some ads to, like, send to people who don't want to watch Republicans.
01:28:50:17 - 01:29:31:10
Unknown
We're aggressive, burning cars just so we can find the you folks who don't want to see you for at least 5 seconds before you have to skip that. And on that note, it's nothing creepy and weird about these folks. Okay. All right. Nighty night. Goodnight, Chow for now or good afternoon. Morning. Right. Don't make just good. Just don't make me do anything right when I wake up.