Chapter 3: The Act of Moving Abroad with Loridana Foksha

Chapter 3 of the Identity Library dives into the experience of relocating and living in a new country. This episode will be especially valuable for those who are currently making or planning an international move, with guest Loridana Fosha sharing her insights and emotions about moving to Spain for the next two years. My hope is that this conversation will assist travelers in finding their footing and achieving inner peace amid the transition.

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Creators and Guests

Host

Veronika Becher

What is Identity Library?

Welcome to the Identity Library, a captivating podcast hosted by Veronika Becher, a German student exploring life in the United States. Join me as we unravel the different layers of identity and embark on a quest for authenticity. Each episode delves into how our backgrounds, cultures, and personal journeys sculpt our sense of self.

Every month, we journey into a new cultural landscape with our guests, sharing stories and experiences from the tapestry of life. Whether you're forging a path in a foreign land or simply curious about the forces that define us, The Identity Library invites you to write your own narrative or uncover fresh perspectives.

So, settle in with a cup of tea and immerse yourself in tales from around the globe with some sense of humor. If you don't find your story here, keep exploring—there are countless books with chapters waiting to be discovered. Identity Library is a podcast by WKNC 88.1 FM HD-1/HD-2.

00:00
Veronika Becher
Hey, everyone. Welcome to a new episode of Identity Library. My name is Veronika Becker, and I'm joined with my best friend, Loridana Foksha.

00:08
Loridana Foksha
Hello.

00:09
Veronika Becher
Thank you so much for coming again.

00:10
Loridana Foksha
Thank you for having me.

00:11
Veronika Becher
This is the second episode. Yes. We are recording this episode way too often than we should. Honestly, this reminds me of, like, you know, when you write an essay and you just can't finally finish this conclusion and it takes you like five times to finish.

00:25
Loridana Foksha
I'm having fun. Okay. This is fun.

00:27
Veronika Becher
It's okay. It's okay. We're just staying cool, I guess. Well, I would love to talk about Spain. Spain? Why Spain? Let's just give us a rundown. Why spade and where we're coming from, like with Spain. But that's just the topic, right?

00:45
Loridana Foksha
Yeah. Love Spain. So I'm as well as Veronika, we're both in a program called the International Business Dual degree program, IBDD for short, which is also run under, like, a cohort of business schools, IPBs. So what this is you spend two years in your home country and you spend your last two years in, like, a different country where you're learning the language of. And like Veronika, she's. She did her first years in Germany. Now she's here in the U.S. i'm doing my first two years here, NC State, and then my last two years, I'm going to be going to Madrid, Spain. So.

01:32
Veronika Becher
Yeah. Okay.

01:33
Loridana Foksha
So.

01:33
Veronika Becher
Okay, that's enough. I'm joking. Yes. And, well, why this episode? Well, after thinking for such a long time, and I was like, so many students are moving now and, well, it's almost a whole year that I moved here two days in. I just feel like a lot of people could benefit from having someone talk about. Yeah. Anxiety, feelings, thoughts about moving abroad, deciding to even live so far away for two years. And. Well, I just would love to, you know, would love you to share your thoughts on this topic.

02:13
Loridana Foksha
Yeah, a little bit. Context. Today is August 6th and August 14th, so next week I am flying out to Spain and I. This is also going to be the first time I've traveled outside of the country. I've only. The farthest I've been is up to New York, down Florida and then, like Alabama, and that's the farthest I've been in all directions. And to live in for two years, like, my first time going out to the country is going to be. Staying for two years is a little terrifying, but more exciting. This is something that I've always wanted to do. Growing up, I was always thinking about, you know, what did I want to do in high school? I did engineering, which is a complete flip flop from business administration. Even nowadays I miss stem, but people are texting right now.

03:22
Veronika Becher
Getting distracted. Getting my podcast.

03:25
Loridana Foksha
I'm sorry.

03:26
Veronika Becher
Shame on you. Shame on you.

03:28
Loridana Foksha
You know, so many people like to talk.

03:30
Veronika Becher
Just so famous. It's okay.

03:32
Loridana Foksha
I know you're leaving soon, so love.

03:34
Veronika Becher
Of course they want to get to know you better on the last day and date you for one day. I know, I'm joking. Back to the topic.

03:44
Loridana Foksha
Anyways, yeah, actually how this all came up. When I was younger, I was, I watched a lot of YouTube when I was of the most random things. A lot of it was culture things. I would watch a lot of things from like different parts around the world. Cultures, traditions, like they would do and constantly just like interested in people. I was always asking questions. Even coming from like a non American, I'm from like a Slavic, Balkan, like a different culture than everybody else. I always was more open minded to experience. I always wanted to experience different things. Especially since like I was so closed up in like a part of town that like, you know, I barely ever went away from.

04:39
Loridana Foksha
And I remember when I was younger I watched this one YouTube channel called yes Theory and the first video I've ever watched from them, I was 12 years old. And they threw a dart on a map, right? And on the map of the US and wherever the dart landed, they were gonna fly there and spend like a couple days in. And I thought that concept was so cool because I love the idea of doing things in the moment, just like in the spur of the moment. And I watched more of their videos and how they went to random countries, even like the smallest, like the least touristy countries, and had like such an amazing experience. They go there without any direction whatsoever and they find accommodation and they find help from random people that talk.

05:33
Loridana Foksha
They talk to me being the introvert, I thought this was so cool because it was something that I've never was able to like do. And I thought it would be, it was so cool that they would just go up to random people and like, hey, we're here and we have no idea what to do. Would you like to be our tour guide for the day? And it would be locals, it wouldn't be like actual tour guides or like they would be with locals and like not even in like the most busiest parts of the city and, or like in the country. And they would just, you know, explore and do things on their own. And as soon as I saw that's what I wanted to do.

06:15
Loridana Foksha
I remember texting my friend and I was like, I want to travel the world and I want to do long term traveling where in digital nomading where basically you take your job remote and work in travel. Work and travel basically. And I wanted to minivan, not like minivan, maybe America, but like two weeks, two months, stay in one place and then whenever I want to leave, pack up, go somewhere else and just have like the most minimal amount of things that I need and really work so I can like support myself but like also maybe like do odd jobs here and there if I needed to like stay with some people, I can be like, I can babysit for you or something like that or tend to your garden, whatnot.

07:06
Veronika Becher
This reminds me so much of I had in high school an acquaintance and she went to Australia so she was like working for a wildlife conservatory and she was traveling the whole Australia in like a whole year or something and she was just living there like a nomad. Really interesting experience.

07:28
Loridana Foksha
And that's what I want to do.

07:30
Veronika Becher
Yeah, a lot of people for some reason in Germany when they graduate high school they go for this one year abroad where they study somewhere or they travel somewhere, work in different companies or I don't know, just different things.

07:44
Loridana Foksha
Which I also think is interesting how studying abroad and traveling is much more, it's much more normal in Europe than it is America. Because America in of itself is such a big country that like you travel like whenever you go on vacation, you're still in America.

08:01
Veronika Becher
Yeah, but the reason is also in Europe. For instance, if you study abroad you get a scholarship called Erasmus and it's for people that live in Europe and you can just apply to get an ERASMUS scholarship and they will pay for your housing, for your tuition for like a lot of things in additional, like you just get a lot of money for just traveling abroad. And I know a lot of people since Germany has the biggest ipbs network of like international dual degree corporations.

08:32
Loridana Foksha
Because it started there, right?

08:34
Veronika Becher
Yeah, it's one of the starting founding places. We have 12 different countries in comparison to NC State having four, right?

08:40
Loridana Foksha
Yeah, it's Spain, France, Spain, Italy and Germany. Germany four. China used to be on there, but I don't think it is anymore.

08:48
Veronika Becher
Yeah, and that's the thing. And we have 12 different, we're from China to Brazil to like Spain, Italy kind of all kind of countries. So when people stay in Europe they just get almost everything paid by Erasmus if they can apply. And then depending on how much Money your parents make, you get more funding or less. Yeah, well, America is different. Yeah. And it's also different for you guys, right? Traveling. I feel like we're just doing a lot of marketing content for ibdd. Do ibdd, guys.

09:19
Loridana Foksha
It's great.

09:19
Veronika Becher
Oh, my gosh. No, seriously, all the incoming students are coming in tomorrow and.

09:27
Loridana Foksha
Oh, aren't you doing the orientation for them?

09:29
Veronika Becher
Oh, my gosh. That's crazy. Anyone ever sees me on campus and, like, who's this random girl? And I don't know when this.

09:37
Loridana Foksha
And a huge entire. Like, a huge group is following her as well.

09:42
Veronika Becher
Crazy.

09:44
Loridana Foksha
Just leading an entire. I remember, like, that one time were with the interns from Hitachi. More marketing for Hitachi. You were, like, talking about, like, oh. And were like, you look like such a tour guide right now. Like, talking, like a perfect. Like, talking about we.

10:01
Veronika Becher
To give a little bit of rundown. What happened? We went. It's a little bit drifting off topic, but went to factory in South Boston. It's not a secret. To see the Transformers. And was really funny. We were such a big group of interns and graduate students, and I feel like through working in project management, I had the opportunity to get to know more about Transformers. And thank you to my team. That was fantastic. Helping me learn so many random things that in the end of the day, I knew more about Transformers than most people did. And even the tour guide couldn't give us the rundown. And I was like, oh, this is like this Transformer. This is that Transformer. And so people were just following me. They were not even my factory, but it was really funny.

10:46
Loridana Foksha
I remember when we came back, were, like, kind of outside Hitachi just, like, talking to each other. And you were talking about Hunt or something.

10:53
Veronika Becher
Yeah.

10:53
Loridana Foksha
And, like, you were like, this is Hunt, and Hunt is all the way over there. And you were talking about it, like, with your hand, as if you were, like, presenting to them.

11:00
Veronika Becher
Tour guide. Yeah. I was a tour guide in Germany.

11:02
Loridana Foksha
Like, why are you good at this?

11:04
Veronika Becher
I don't know. I just discovered this in Germany when someone asked me to do, like, a mini tour for NC State students. And that's how I met, like, a lot of NC State students and get to know. And I was like, oh, I really want to go to NC State to study and be in this dual degree program. And, well, I realized that my jokes, My dry jokes work really well when it's a tour guide. And I did, like, a tour guide.

11:27
Loridana Foksha
Everyone gets them.

11:28
Veronika Becher
Yeah. For ibdd. Yeah. Yes. So if Anyone mentions Germans have no humor. That's not true.

11:34
Loridana Foksha
Or it's just different.

11:36
Veronika Becher
Just different. Or. Or it's just my Slavic side. I'm not sure. We're still figuring that out. Yeah. The same as my accent, but that's okay. Yeah. Well, going kind of back to like Spain in. So yeah, international students are incoming this week and they all come from different places. I'm like the key person giving everyone the keys out. And also doing the international orientation day next week. So I'm going to lead the 25 students from different countries, undergrad students. That's crazy. And so that was also a thing. What inspired me to do this episode of you. Because I feel like a lot of students come here and I remember when we moved here, it was such a nerve wracking thing.

12:18
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

12:18
Veronika Becher
I was crying for the first two weeks and I'm saying that as a.

12:22
Loridana Foksha
I have that to look forward to.

12:24
Veronika Becher
Oh my gosh. Who went to South Dakota when she was 15 and nothing happened there. I feel like bisons were distracting me. But I'm joking. I didn't really see them all the time, so.

12:33
Loridana Foksha
All the time?

12:34
Veronika Becher
Yeah. I wasn't even living in the area to see bisons all the time. I saw more cornfields than ever. But besides that drifting up, I feel like I just want to share kind of both our thoughts. Me being like a year already in and you like starting your journey.

12:52
Loridana Foksha
There's a big difference.

12:53
Veronika Becher
Yes.

12:53
Loridana Foksha
Because you're already here and I'm planning to go there right now.

12:57
Veronika Becher
How is it, how do you feel about speaking Spanish, starting with one topic?

13:03
Loridana Foksha
I'm okay. I'm not that good in Spanish. I use. I used to be definitely like taking Spanish class. I feel like this entire summer has put me back, like set me back a little, like a lot actually. When I get there before actual school starts, we are all taking this in Spanish intensive course, I think from like 10 to 2. I don't know, I might be wrong on the times, but it's like a really long time. We're just going to be speaking in Spanish and I'm like hoping. Because the thing is with my Spanish, my entire curriculum, like all my classes, my exams are going to be in Spanish and not in English. And that is stressing me out a little bit. But immersion is the best way to learn a language.

13:51
Loridana Foksha
And I'm kind of hoping that like within a month I was told from other people that went to Europe because I feel like in Europe you kind of know you learn English like a lot younger and everyone is expected to know English. Like, it's becoming, like, a worldwide, almost language. And. But Spanish isn't really. So I was told by people who have done this before me that your first month is. You're not going to understand anything, and that's okay. And I was like, that makes me feel better and also nervous at the same time, because I know that my next month. My. Like, the entire next month, from August 14 to September 14. Not exactly, probably, but it's gonna be stressful. I'm gonna be so stressed.

14:38
Veronika Becher
It's just like, the 15th is gonna be the special day.

14:41
Loridana Foksha
Finally, it's Veronika's birthday. And I know Spanish now.

14:45
Veronika Becher
Exactly. And then a random spider drops in your head, and you think twice about, you know, your life choices.

14:51
Loridana Foksha
Am I okay?

14:52
Veronika Becher
No, I just, like, kind of a foreshadow. The thing of foreshadowing is just funny at this point. It's just, like, a thing. It's gonna be a running joke. Well, to foreshadow what's gonna happen. A lot of people cried. A lot of people were excited. I remember my German peers, they were so. Like, they're going crazy. They were running through the store and like, Veronika, look at this. Look at these cookies. Oh, my gosh. This is something we saw, like, in, like, High School Musical in movies. Oh, they have these, like, yellow bu. Process and. Well, do you feel?

15:26
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

15:26
Veronika Becher
How do you. Like, how do you feel? Did you watch, like, any movies? Like, how do you know about Spanish culture? Like.

15:34
Loridana Foksha
I know a lot more of, like, Latin, like, Central and South America more than Spain itself. Mainly because I was more exposed to that. I know more people from there. I'm not as exposed to Spanish culture, but I feel very unprepared. Honestly, I feel like I should know more about Spain since I'm going there in of itself. But, I mean, I have. I have a lot of friends. Like, even one of my family members is Mexican. I have a lot of friends who are from Central or South America. And I was. I'm very acquainted with that kind of culture. And I feel like this is going to be a very big. I know this is gonna be a very big difference in culture.

16:20
Veronika Becher
Why Spain?

16:22
Loridana Foksha
I was learning Spanish.

16:24
Veronika Becher
Oh, really? When did you start?

16:26
Loridana Foksha
I started learning Spanish kind of a little bit middle school, but mainly, like, I fully started in high school. I didn't think I was doing this, so there's, like, a requirement to, like, know Spanish. But the thing is, the main reason why Spanish is because I found that it was so easy to learn because of my Romanian background, I found that learning Spanish, like, I. I saw a lot of parallels within with Romanian and even taught me more about Romanian that I didn't know. And I was like, oh, when my mom's walking me through conjugation, like, I understand what she's doing now. Because I used to not be able to understand, like, why do we put certain words like this? And in my head, when I was younger, when I spoke Romanian, it just kind of flew like that.

17:14
Loridana Foksha
And now I feel like I'm more aware of what I'm saying when I'm speaking to my family, which is a big deal.

17:22
Veronika Becher
Yeah, Sorry, sorry.

17:24
Loridana Foksha
But I think Spanish, because it made me more connected with Romanian, and I could have gone and done Italian because I feel like Italian is a lot more closely related to Romania that is Spanish. But I think I wanted to fully be set in Spanish first. I wanted to be fluent in it first before I went to another language, to a different culture, in a sense.

17:51
Veronika Becher
Yeah. Like, I'm like, you just answered my other question. Not even me answering, like, asking it, you know?

17:58
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

17:59
Veronika Becher
What are your, like, expectations? Like, what is something? Like your top three things? I love the top three things. I guess that's a good.

18:08
Loridana Foksha
Yeah, it's a good conversation. Rolling.

18:10
Veronika Becher
What is something. Something that you like? What. Like what you look forward to in Spain, besides your room? Yeah, I love my room. It has so many windows. Oh, my gosh.

18:20
Loridana Foksha
I want that room.

18:21
Veronika Becher
Oh, my gosh. Can I just. I need to give a rundown. I know this is your story, but. Yeah, this is.

18:25
Loridana Foksha
Just go. Go for it. Tell my story.

18:27
Veronika Becher
We both are working right now at the same company for the summer, but in different departments.

18:32
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

18:32
Veronika Becher
And Lordana was for, like, I don't think. I think a month.

18:37
Loridana Foksha
Oh, don't tell my managers this.

18:39
Veronika Becher
No, I'm not telling you. No, it's the fact that you were debating on, like, so long, what room to do.

18:47
Loridana Foksha
Not even so, like, a week, maybe.

18:48
Veronika Becher
Yeah. But it was kind of like, Veronika, what do you think, Veronika. What is the best choice?

18:53
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

18:53
Veronika Becher
What is. What room feels more like Loridana. What room feels more like Spain? And Laura is, like, a fantastic artist, by the way, just giving, like, a clap to her for winning a capstone project last year. For the.

19:08
Loridana Foksha
Oh, my God.

19:09
Veronika Becher
You know, for the. What is the village Arts village. Yeah. Yes. Oh, my gosh. This is a different story. That. Probably a different day. You know, it just took us. We were just not ready. When everyone was ready, were just setting it up. For hours.

19:24
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

19:24
Veronika Becher
But yeah, it was a performative piece. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Performative piece. My dear friends, please remember to improvise in life sometimes. It works.

19:33
Loridana Foksha
It works. It gets you first place.

19:35
Veronika Becher
Yes. Oh, my gosh. So what are your top three expectations?

19:40
Loridana Foksha
I am so excited and ready to make more friends. I think that mainly because I'm comparing it to my experience at ncc. I didn't expect to. This is the part where I start crying. I didn't expect to have such a close knit loving community. And the fact I'm leaving him, like.

20:02
Veronika Becher
It makes me sad. Oh, my God.

20:03
Loridana Foksha
We have a running. We have a running inside joke. I cry a lot.

20:07
Veronika Becher
I'm a very emotional person. This is like, I don't have tissues right now. Besides a random, like paper towel roll in this. This room is just crazy.

20:16
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

20:18
Veronika Becher
But yeah, Froggy is here. The Greek Froggy. If you haven't listened to the first episode, you will know what's happening, you know, Preview. Yeah. So basically we are sitting in Jubala and people that live here, they know.

20:32
Loridana Foksha
Is that the first time I cried?

20:34
Veronika Becher
Oh, my gosh. I don't even know. The amount of times you cried during this whole year is just crazy. And it's okay, guys. I love, you know, having friends that are really expressive because I cried a lot too. But it's not characteristically my thing to cry that much.

20:50
Loridana Foksha
It's my thing.

20:51
Veronika Becher
Well, yeah, just I cry. Only I cry. Oh, my gosh. Just imagine when people, like make these movies about this guy who does something bad in a cafe like, or someone like a restaurant. And then everyone turns around, oh, my gosh, he's a bad guy. Well, I was a bad guy. Yeah. But for a different reason. Because were just sitting there having our deep conversations like we always do. Cup of coffee and tea. Because I'm a tea drinker and Laura's just getting super emotional about it, starts crying and everyone just turns around. I'm like, sorry, it's not by far.

21:23
Loridana Foksha
How many times have I tried there? Like, I think three times, four probably. But yeah.

21:29
Veronika Becher
I don't know how much it tells about us more than it tells about the place, but it's okay.

21:34
Loridana Foksha
Yeah. Anyway. Yeah.

21:37
Veronika Becher
Yeah.

21:38
Loridana Foksha
But I'm expecting to do the same there.

21:40
Veronika Becher
It's okay.

21:41
Loridana Foksha
I'm excited to have a cohort of friends of really close. Of a really close community. Something that I really value when I want. Like, I explained that I want to travel and one thing I really want to do is connect with other people and be able to girl, don't look at me like that. I'm going to start crying to stop.

22:04
Veronika Becher
Just getting super.

22:06
Loridana Foksha
I think just my heart, community and connecting with people is something that I really enjoy. And it's like also something that I found in you and my friends here. And I'm excited to spend time with people that are different than me, that think people that I can learn something from. And I've learned so much here from my experiences and the friends that I've had here. Shout out to Veronika, obviously Max and Juan and like they've also been there for me and even going there, Kate, she's someone that like is, you know, getting ready with me to go with me because we're going together. And yeah, I. I'm excited that I know that you guys are irreplaceable and I understand that, like I will never truly find people like you, but I'm excited to find people who are different that I can have.

23:06
Loridana Foksha
I'm not expecting to have the same experiences or be able to find friends like you, but I'm excited to have different friends, to know different people and to experience different things that will help me grow and evolve and become. And I want to become a better person through people because I feel like that's one of the biggest ways you can be able to grow and develop as a person.

23:30
Veronika Becher
I remember reading up this article and it was like the reason why people feel like they're different in a different country is the moment you and I can't really quote it, but the moment you subtract everything that surrounds you. Your heritage, your background, your friend groups, your family members, everything that is just defining you in the space you're living in right now. And you kind of like just set yourself apart in a different place. You can start from like a blank page. Yeah. And because you're starting from a blank page, you start realizing what is something you really like. And I just. In what you want to become and so on. And I just remember this one thing you told me to this point.

24:11
Veronika Becher
I literally wrote down in my journal that sometimes if you travel to different places, I don't know if you remember. It was like a random late night talk in your car like always. You know this thing when you say.

24:21
Loridana Foksha
That right before I drop. Yeah.

24:23
Veronika Becher
You're like five minutes and get out. And then end up like an hour. Yeah, an hour conversation. And you didn't want to come into my apartment. And we still talk for an hour in your car.

24:32
Loridana Foksha
Like, I need to go home. But I really did tell you Something. Yeah.

24:34
Veronika Becher
Yes. And she literally, like you literally told me. Well, sometimes it's maybe if different people bring out different sides of me.

24:44
Loridana Foksha
Yes.

24:45
Veronika Becher
And sometimes it's not that I'm different, it's just maybe I'm so diverse and I have so many different like layers that's the reason why I can be a different person in different countries, in different places. Because I have so many more layers to me than just being a business student, just being an artist, just being someone who likes to read books. And it just reminds me so much of like, I think that's just a great advice to remember that you're.

25:14
Loridana Foksha
You don't have to be one specific person and you don't have to put yourself in one box. I think you can not only know who you are from like a very deep level of like your entire identity, but know that you are constantly adding layers to yourself. I think them. Onion.

25:34
Veronika Becher
Onion. I was thinking about that.

25:36
Loridana Foksha
Onion. People say like, oh, people say ogres have layers and onions at work.

25:42
Veronika Becher
Oh my gosh.

25:43
Loridana Foksha
I think of shout out to my mom. She makes that joke all the time.

25:46
Veronika Becher
I love her. I think of onions like when you need to peel each layer in order to understand how a person is.

25:51
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

25:52
Veronika Becher
And yeah, I think also maybe when you travel to a different country, be aware of how many different culture differences you have and how deep it goes. Yeah. Like I just remember my first weeks here and it was just a mess. It's something you don't want to remember, but it's just the fact that how direct I am as a person and people know that and they need to get used to it and how different cultures can be and I imagine Spain's going to be also a complete different experience for you.

26:22
Loridana Foksha
But it's something I'm excited for. I think one thing that I truly value myself one, a part of my identity or something that like a very, a strength of mine. I'd say I'm an adaptable person. I'm different in situations, different situations. I can bring out different parts of my personality or I can adapt my personality in some way. I wouldn't say I'm too like completely two faced. I'm still myself. I still know I'm not completely putting up an entire wall, but I think of my personality as very malleable and almost.

26:56
Veronika Becher
Yeah, exactly like you pretend to be someone else. You still are true to yourself. And that's like the question of identity.

27:02
Loridana Foksha
Right? Yeah.

27:03
Veronika Becher
That we're discussing on this podcast of like how do you find your identity? If you have so many layers to yourself and you kind of throw in between different cultures and you just not sure which one to adapt and which one to stay true to yourself and how to also not force your own beliefs onto someone else who grew up in a complete different field. Right.

27:24
Loridana Foksha
Yeah. I think a big thing. And also something that I would tell your. You. Your past self when you came here.

27:32
Veronika Becher
Oh, my gosh.

27:34
Loridana Foksha
I think it was important for you to fully accept yourself and also be kinder to yourself. That's a big deal. And I think know that you are struggling and you're going. You're going through a hard time. But as my sister says to her kids, you can do hard things. That's something I learned from my nephews, that you can do hard things. And I guess just giving yourself that. That room and that space and being able to know, like, I'm in a completely different environment, I shouldn't expect myself to pick up everything that I should be picking up. I should give myself room and time and space to grow and learn and then start from there.

28:14
Veronika Becher
Yeah. Do you have, like, something, like, on your bucket list? If we expand the expectation part and say, what are, like, two other things you really want to do while in Spain?

28:25
Loridana Foksha
Travel. I remember Juan came back right, from Europe, and we're having a conversation about his travels. And he's, like, letting me know, like, giving me advice. One thing he says, I know it. Like, I know it'd be easy for you to, like, you know, go to a mall and buy everything that you want, and especially since it is, like, cheaper. But really save your money to travel and, like, use your money to travel. I think for my entire experience there, like, I want to my top two countries, Italy and Greece. Like, I want to go to Italy and Greece. And the weekend before school starts, we're going to go to Valencia, which is, like, the beaches of Spain. Something that I'm really excited to do is travel, which is something that, like, I always wanted to do.

29:17
Loridana Foksha
But, like, it's crazy how this idea of mine is finally coming to fruition.

29:26
Veronika Becher
We're in Greece. Any idea?

29:28
Loridana Foksha
No.

29:28
Veronika Becher
Oh, okay.

29:29
Loridana Foksha
You have to let me know, man.

29:31
Veronika Becher
Yeah. Because I've traveled to Greece quite a lot. But also, like, if you talk about traveling, I feel like my experience started when I was five months old, and I don't remember everything because my parents just traveled my whole childhood. They, like, saved up the money only for traveling.

29:47
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

29:47
Veronika Becher
And I feel like I got a lot of experience, but the moment I stepped on an airplane by Myself, I was like, this is nerve wracking. And the older you get, the harder it gets to leave in. The harder it gets to leave your family and your friends. And especially when you're in college for two years, you establish your network, the people that you care for that are close to you. I have a shout out to Ari, who is like to this point my best friend. And she's like texting call me monthly, weekly. Even though we're like apart, nine, like six hours or something apart. And it's very difficult to like leave this behind and start a new chapter if you had a good chapter beforehand. Yeah.

30:28
Loridana Foksha
I think one thing that I'll be carrying with me, good friendship will last is a big thing. I don't, I will. I don't think that the friendships, the true close friendships that I've had here, I don't think that's ever going to go away no matter how much I travel. And one thing that I learned from my friends that I really think is cool is how we all love to travel. Two of our best friends went to Europe this past summer and boy, I thought about them every day. I was like, I miss them so much. And as soon as they came back, I saw them both separately. Right. And I sobbed as soon as I saw them because I missed them so much.

31:08
Veronika Becher
Yeah.

31:09
Loridana Foksha
One thing I love about myself, I love that.

31:11
Veronika Becher
I love that being, you know, being expressive is sometimes really like a gift. Like I just feel like sometimes when something happens to me, I feel like I don't feel anything.

31:21
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

31:21
Veronika Becher
For the first month. And that's just me being like, oh, I'm like, this is strange. Like I don't feel anything. I just feel like I'm a ghost, like numb and I'm just existing and I'm not sure when this feeling will go away. And maybe like a big advice, kind of like steering the conversation back to like international study abroad situations. Let yourself, like, don't be too harsh on yourself and give yourself time. Like, if the first month is going to be rough, it's going to be emotional. A lot of things will happen. You will feel for the first time the distance that you have between your home country and the country.

31:59
Loridana Foksha
I've never experienced an entire ocean away from my family.

32:02
Veronika Becher
Yes. And just a feeling of you can never go back, but you can go back. And I always say, give yourself a month to adjust. That's the first step. The second step is if you're so far away, you can always go back, but you can never go back to country. That you decide to travel to.

32:20
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

32:20
Veronika Becher
Oh, well, you can, but it's more difficult sometimes than going back home to your family. Right. And if in third, if these are your real friends, they will stick with you no matter what. In worst case, I'm just feeling really grateful for these people that were in my life, in a chapter that I needed them. We had this conversation where I'm like, you came into my life for the first year at State, and you were such a guidance, a kind person, someone who helped me out so much during my first weeks and months at State. And I feel like finding someone who can be this person is sometimes tough. And it doesn't come planned. And she's already sobbing. Oh, my gosh. I was hoping you weren't looking at me. Yeah. But it's just like. It's just like. It's just. Well, disclaimer.

33:12
Veronika Becher
This is an emotional episode. And. Well, and I think it's just. It's just important to understand that I told you I was gonna cry. Well, and that's how you feel about it. But also, I've put so much pressure on myself on finding the right person right away, and it was so difficult. But then the person that I needed was literally sitting in a random jazz class that I signed up one day before classes started.

33:40
Loridana Foksha
I looked lonely.

33:42
Veronika Becher
Oh, my God.

33:43
Loridana Foksha
Apparently. Sorry.

33:44
Veronika Becher
But I love.

33:45
Loridana Foksha
She has not told me.

33:46
Veronika Becher
I loved her hair. I saw her hair and I was.

33:49
Loridana Foksha
Like, it was red back then.

33:50
Veronika Becher
Yeah.

33:50
Loridana Foksha
And I had, like, little pigtails. I've never done the pigtails ever again.

33:53
Veronika Becher
Cute. Oh, my gosh. But I just remember her hair just changed so much through the year. We grew so much. It was like finals week. You know, when you contemplate about your life decisions and if you actually should study business or not. And I think it helped.

34:07
Loridana Foksha
That was me after finals. I was like, should I go to Spain for business? I don't think I actually like business. I had an entire mental breakdown about business, and I missed them, literally. Life crisis.

34:19
Veronika Becher
It was so stressed. Yeah. And I think that's a normal thing that, you know, it will happen. And I remember this one friend I have, Leah, who is from France. I don't know if she ever listens to this episode, but she was sitting and I. Hi, Leah. Yeah, I was sitting in Madrid on a bench. Yes. I also study abroad at the same university, but for like a summer before coming to the States. And we met up and she went through this whole thing already. She graduated from a dual degree program, and she was like, you know, when were back then in finishing our two years, we decided to almost protest. We were like telling the coordinators, we're not gonna go abroad. We're gonna stay in this country. We don't want to go. And separ friends group needs to stay together.

35:09
Veronika Becher
And she told me, this is how everyone feels like everyone feels, to a certain extent, weird about going abroad in. You're excited, you're nervous, you're scared. The moment you're actually on the airplane, you get, like, mixed feelings. You understand that something is happening, but you can't really process it. And all that matters is to make the first step. And I think that's the first thing you have to do. And then the moment you step over the like and get to the other country and you start adjusting, you will have a reverse shock when you go back to Germany and you don't. You can't recognize yourself anymore. You can't recognize the people that you were there. You can't understand how it is to even live, not anymore in the United States, not live in Spain anymore and so on.

35:58
Veronika Becher
That's going to be harder than actually going somewhere. But, yeah, I'm really grateful to have you, like, as someone who guided me. And I hope everyone who listens to that and goes through these things will find this one person that will guide them somewhere. And you know, every single time when I open a car door and I just see her, I'm just jumping around like, oh, my gosh. The amount of times we recorded these, like, dance videos in my apartment and we just had these jam sessions with both our dancers. She's a great hip hop dancer. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. And the amount of times that I realized that these things are something I will miss.

36:41
Veronika Becher
But I'm grateful for when they were there, when these people were in my life, that they supported me, that they gave me strength, and they gave me a feeling of I'm part of. Oh, my gosh. I'm part of a family. I'm part of. Like, I actually found we had again this conversation. It's like finding a second family without actually it being your family. It's people that you choose in your life that you choose because they are, like, connecting with you on certain wavelength. And even if it takes you a whole semester, and I'm holding a whole monologue, I realized even if it takes you a whole semester, I feel like eventually you will get to this point. Right. And. Yeah. Your last expectation. What is your last expectation? I don't know.

37:30
Loridana Foksha
I remember I'm like.

37:33
Veronika Becher
She's just crying. It's okay.

37:34
Loridana Foksha
Oh, I love you.

37:36
Veronika Becher
Oh, I love you, too.

37:38
Loridana Foksha
Last expectation. I'm ready to grow a lot as a person. What were my first two?

37:44
Veronika Becher
It was also gross.

37:45
Loridana Foksha
People.

37:46
Veronika Becher
People. The second one, Traveling.

37:48
Loridana Foksha
Traveling. Growth. I. I was so. I'm so excited to grow and learn as a person. And I think putting yourself in uncomfortable situations, seeking discomfort, I think puts you in a position where you are being forced to grow, where you're being forced to adapt and to take on new situations. And I already said that. And to be able to, I guess, develop into a different person. I don't. In one of my values, I don't think that you end up becoming a specific person that you're meant to because there's always room for growth and potential and there's always going to be ups and downs. And I think I'm excited for those downs because it. To me, that is my. That is the life that I want to live.

38:43
Loridana Foksha
I want to live a life that is fruitful, bountiful, that has so many different things happening in it, so many different experiences that I can be like, I went through this growth phase where I was really. Or I went through a phase where I was doing nothing at all. Or is doing. Going through a phase where I was so low or so high.

39:04
Veronika Becher
High.

39:09
Loridana Foksha
Yeah. Where I'm excited that, like, I'll be changed. Changing. I'm going to change, obviously, but I.

39:20
Veronika Becher
Hope you get rid of your pajamas.

39:23
Loridana Foksha
My pajamas? You like my pajamas?

39:27
Veronika Becher
No, I love them, but it's just going to be funny the moment I see you not in pajamas for once.

39:32
Loridana Foksha
There was one moment where. Or in tally where I just like walk in with my red Christmas pajamas and my blue little cardigan, wool cardigan.

39:43
Veronika Becher
That my sister gave me.

39:44
Loridana Foksha
Or like, I remember that day. I was like, just. Just sneak into the. Sneak into the Darlington building. It's fine.

39:52
Veronika Becher
And just crazy.

39:54
Loridana Foksha
That's an inside joke.

39:55
Veronika Becher
Yeah.

39:55
Loridana Foksha
We won't talk about that.

39:56
Veronika Becher
Yeah. But that's how our friendship started. But. Yeah.

40:01
Loridana Foksha
And then she just like, oh, the front door is open and I'm like up on my bed and I come down wearing slippers and you were like, oh, you look so slobby.

40:13
Veronika Becher
With me.

40:13
Loridana Foksha
And like I'm fully wearing like a Christmas pajama set, these like, socks.

40:20
Veronika Becher
And these like slippers that. It looks so slim. Oh, my gosh. Yes. And I just. Oh, my. I just. The thing with the finals week that I didn't mention it was, you know, one thing you need to remember, if you go abroad, be spontaneous, because sometimes you will do things you didn't expect to put on your bucket list, like calling random your hair at, like, I don't know, midnight.

40:47
Loridana Foksha
Good Lord, do you want to color your hair?

40:49
Veronika Becher
Okay. And I was like, I never understand. Yes. It was like one day before business law. Everyone who takes business classes knows what I'm talking about.

40:57
Loridana Foksha
Good luck with business law.

40:59
Veronika Becher
It was the best exam I took, actually, in business.

41:01
Loridana Foksha
Oh, girl, I don't know. That's a stretch.

41:05
Veronika Becher
No, I'm just saying the exam they had after coloring session was the best one I ever had. Best exam, best grade. But. Yeah. Well, I kind of finishing up this topic of really crazy international feelings and. Are you stressed about packing?

41:26
Loridana Foksha
Yes. I haven't even started my floor up until two days ago. Yesterday. My clothes, all my clothes all over the floor. I had to tiptoe. I. There was. It was a struggle to find the carpet under my clothes.

41:40
Veronika Becher
Oh, my God.

41:41
Loridana Foksha
And all over the floor. All of my stuff is out because I don't want to put it away because I'm gonna have to take it out. I have to buy on Amazon the. The vacuum bags and whatnot and so many things. So I don't. And, like, I guess I. I'm stressed about going through the airport with so much luggage.

42:02
Veronika Becher
Oh, don't even remind me of that. I was traveling with two huge luggages and one small one in a backpack.

42:08
Loridana Foksha
Which I'm gonna do.

42:09
Veronika Becher
Yeah, that's.

42:10
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

42:10
Veronika Becher
It's like the moment you start packing, you're like, oh, that's, like, so easy. It's just one luggage that I need. And then you start realizing that for some reason, toiletries just are so heavy.

42:21
Loridana Foksha
Why I. I. Why do I need so many things?

42:24
Veronika Becher
And sometimes you think you don't need that, but then just a pair of shoes way too much, and you're, like, questioning your life decisions. How. How can you pack your life into two luggages and disappear?

42:34
Loridana Foksha
Yeah.

42:34
Veronika Becher
Yes. That's a life.

42:35
Loridana Foksha
What? I'm nervous problem. Yeah.

42:37
Veronika Becher
You know? Yeah. An issue to have in life.

42:42
Loridana Foksha
I am so stressed about packing and having to, like, check in my bags. I. So I went through an airport, like, when I was in seventh grade, and I don't remember any of it. Just recently, I had to go to D.C. to pick up my visa. That was the worst, probably two days of my entire life. So this is right when Hurricane Debbie was her name. I think her name is Debbie. I don't really know. Started in Charlotte, and my flight from Baltimore, Maryland to D.C. just, like, was delayed. And then I have a question to interrupt. Yeah.

43:21
Veronika Becher
How do you name your hurricanes?

43:23
Loridana Foksha
So I think they. I don't know because I know that they go through alphabetical order. I don't know what we. I don't know, but, like, they go through Apple alphabetical order. And I. I think there's also a thing about. Well, that's more like formal and then I think informal. Like, I think they tend to name them, like boy or girl names based off a specific. I don't really know.

43:51
Veronika Becher
That's funny because in Germany. Fun fact. You know, we haven't had a fun fact in this episode. Right. You can pay. You can pay someone to name a hurricane after your daughter or your son or someone. What, like a family member? And so that's why I was like. Like, is it a thing actually in the United States? Because we, like, sandals is like, I.

44:13
Loridana Foksha
Want to do that. It's funny because finally people can pronounce my name. No, but everyone knew Lori, Donna.

44:19
Veronika Becher
German names are just funny because. Think of, like, old German names.

44:23
Loridana Foksha
I'm thinking of like, Hurricane Veronika.

44:26
Veronika Becher
No, Slavic. No, we're talking about, like, Alfred. And you, like. You think like, oh, that's funny. And you, like, trying to, like, prepare yourself mentally before this hurricane. And you're like, oh, my gosh, we're gonna die and everything is gonna be bad. And it's like, Hurricane Alfred.

44:48
Loridana Foksha
Yes.

44:48
Veronika Becher
Or like, these are not real German names, but Peter, Peter. Hurricane Peter.

44:55
Loridana Foksha
How often do you get hurricanes? Do you also get have, like a hurricane season? Like us?

44:59
Veronika Becher
We. Well, we don't really have that, but it's. Sometimes we have really bad rain and lake. We kind of have hurricanes.

45:07
Loridana Foksha
More like a tropical storm. Wait, tropical.

45:10
Veronika Becher
No, really? We don't have trouble. We get storms in general. Like. Like wind. Wind and rain. And sometimes we have, like, doing school. It's. It's more rare, but we had some issues with like, no electricity and things like that. By the way, we have today hurricane going on. Yeah. And then Microsoft was the other thing.

45:29
Loridana Foksha
Microsoft. Yeah. So, yeah, my plane. My plane flight. It's like it was supposed to leave at 8:15 and we're still there at 12. We're like, this plane isn't going anywhere. We're not going anywhere tonight. And the thing is, the next day I have a huge trip. Not huge, but, like, I have a trip with my friend. I have to like. She's picking me up at seven for my house and I'm in Baltimore, Maryland right now. And freaking out for 12 hours, stranded. And then I remember, oh my gosh, Veronika is in D.C. right now.

45:59
Veronika Becher
Oh my gosh. So. And she just calls me. I was already in bed. She calls me to wanna come back. This is how you remember that you have best friends and they care for you and love you so much.

46:09
Loridana Foksha
Thank you.

46:10
Veronika Becher
You could cry again now. This is the moment you. You're allowed to cry. And she just calls me and I'm like, in my bed. I'm done with my night routine. And then she's like, yes, I have a night routine for everyone wondering. I'm trying. She's like, Veronika, I'm straightened here and I don't know what to do. And I'm like, not even living by myself. It's like my cool host family that I really appreciate that they. I found the time I love.

46:34
Loridana Foksha
Not even yours. Your friends?

46:36
Veronika Becher
Yes. But no, they became like family. I just love them so much. They're like a second family to me right now. And we are like in Virginia, just sitting there. And they arrive there, we knock on them.

46:47
Loridana Foksha
I'm with a friend, by the way.

46:48
Veronika Becher
Yes.

46:49
Loridana Foksha
Yeah. So Thomas is able to get us plane flights because he has like priority in American Airlines or something. I don't really know. And he's able to get us tickets. So our plan to Raleigh and then from Raleigh to Charlotte anyways.

47:09
Veronika Becher
And. Yeah. And well, you realize like going through a visa process, no matter what country you go through, is always stressful. And if you need to fly out somewhere, you will probably encounter a lot of random things where you need to be spontaneous and figure out what to do.

47:24
Loridana Foksha
Because my plan was I flew to D.C. and then my plan was fly there and back in one day and then just get my visa and pick it up.

47:34
Veronika Becher
Yeah. And then it didn't work out. She ended up staying. We were talking till 4 in the morning. No one heard that. Well, catching up. We just miss each other. We missed each other.

47:44
Loridana Foksha
There was so much to catch up on.

47:46
Veronika Becher
And then I started and she was like, you can't stop now. And I'm like, yeah, I kind of regretted a little bit, but still. No, I didn't. Well, I needed to get it off my chest, but things just happened and well, here we go.

47:59
Loridana Foksha
So if I wake up at 5:30, right? And I get to the airport, Thomas and I. And then Thomas is able to find a flight faster home, but he couldn't get me on it. And I was like, okay. He was like, do you mind? I'm like, go for it. Like you get yourself home. I can manage. So we're in D.C. right. This is a separate airport. Right. So I start from Charlotte, go to Baltimore. This is a. This is Reagan. Now we're in Reagan. And I managed to fly to Raleigh with no problems. And then I have to wait. I get there at 9:40 or 9:50. I have to wait till 2:50 to get on another plane back to Charlotte. So I'm in the airport for like hours.

48:42
Loridana Foksha
And I'm trying to figure out if I can get a flight faster home, like if I get on standby. But I'm in basic economy, so that doesn't really work out. I'm waiting there for so long, it's 2:40. We're boarding the plane. They get a call. We're delayed for another two hours. And at that point, and I'm tweaking, I'm losing it. I'm hungry, I haven't slept, and I cannot stand the airport. I'm in the airport or like, I've been in an airport or in an airplane for 10 hours, and I'm like, I can't do this anymore.

49:13
Veronika Becher
Normal flight from Germany, like around 10 hours flight. But, oh, yeah.

49:20
Loridana Foksha
I get picked up and like, we all sort that out. And I'm hoping to get back on track. Little. That's a little side quest to get back on track. I'm hoping it doesn't happen when I go to Spain.

49:32
Veronika Becher
Yes. And kind of rounding it up. This is how we came back to our Spain topic. Yeah. Wonderful Spain topic. With good music, good vibes, people singing, dancing outside. I can guarantee you that. And people will be wonderful. I'm pretty sure about that. Be prepared for dry heat. Well, thank you so much for being here on the podcast. I'm kind of rounding it up this way. I think we should stop here maybe. Yes.

50:00
Loridana Foksha
Because I can go on for hours.

50:02
Veronika Becher
I'm a yapper. I know. And white noise. Right. And I just want to give a last advice for all our brave friends, travelers. Yes. Because you're brave. Including Loridana. Thank you. I'm so proud of you guys for making this step happen and actually going on this airplane or whatever you're using, actually even like moving to a different city now that school starts. I can understand how stressful it probably is for all of you guys. Moving to a different country, to a different college, starting completely something new chapter. But remember, that's something that you think back on and be like, oh, I really enjoyed it, or I hated it. But then you had the experience and you know exactly what you like and what you hate. So I hope the wind is gonna be nice to you guys, and you're gonna be.

50:56
Loridana Foksha
I hope so, too.

50:56
Veronika Becher
I hopefully say, I hope the weather.

50:58
Loridana Foksha
Is fine when I go. I hope I don't get delayed.

51:02
Veronika Becher
And if you feel like it's raining, think of Veronika's one last thought. Russians always believe that when it's raining, it's a good omen because that means it will help you to get faster to your home.

51:15
Loridana Foksha
I don't believe that, but.

51:17
Veronika Becher
Hey, stop. Don't destroy my house.

51:20
Loridana Foksha
It didn't happen.

51:22
Veronika Becher
But. Yeah. So hurricane season. In and out, but rain will be a good omen. Thank you so much.

51:28
Loridana Foksha
Thank you so much for having me.

51:30
Veronika Becher
Bye. Bye.

51:30
Loridana Foksha
Bye. Bye.