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Welcome to Conscious Leadership, the podcast that guides you on a transformative journey toward becoming an empowered and purposeful woman leader. Hosted by Dakota Lima, each episode dives into the principles of self-awareness, mindfulness, and authentic leadership. Explore stories, strategies, and insights to enhance your leadership skills, cultivate a positive impact, and lead with intention. Whether you're a seasoned leader or just beginning your leadership journey, this podcast is your source of inspiration and practical guidance for leading consciously and making a meaningful difference. Tune in to elevate your leadership potential and embark on a path of growth, both personally and professionally.
Dakota Lima (00:00)
Welcome back to Conscious Leadership. Today we're going to dive into a profound conversation about resilience, advocacy, and the conscious leadership that is required to navigate burnout. It's a topic that's really close to my heart, especially through me and my journey of creating empowerment evolution. Burnout, whether you're an advocate, a leader, or just simply pursuing your passions, it can be a silent adversary.
Welcome to Conscious Leadership, the podcast where we dive into the heart of impactful thought leadership, one conscious step at a time. I'm your host Dakota Lima, and together we'll explore the realms of self -awareness, empowerment, and purpose -driven leadership. Get ready to ignite your leadership potential and make a positive difference in your life and the life of those you lead.
Wow wow wow wow.
like we are all connected there. And so today we are joined by the remarkable Lucy DelGaudio, a veteran advocate, a diversity leader, and a conscious change maker. So today we're going to dive down in a journey about her life, some of the insights and strategies that she has used to have resilience in the face of adversity.
So Lucy, thank you so much for coming on the show and thank you so much for taking the time to share your story with my listeners and the conscious leaders out there, the thought leaders out there and the women who are trying to find their voice. So please tell us a little bit about yourself. First of all, thank you for having me. I'm really very, very honored to be here today with you. My name is Lucy DelGaudio. I am an Afro Latina.
U .S. Army veteran. I'm a mom of four, proud wife. I'm a native New Jerseyian. I've been advocating in the veteran space since 2014. My advocacy started just with basic women, VA rights, benefits, the lack of, let's just say.
and homelessness, which is a very big issue here in New Jersey when it comes to the veteran population, especially women with children. Transition housing is very lacking and I was basically advocating in that front. In 2018, I ventured into establishing New Jersey as one of the few states that recognizes June 12th as Women Veterans Appreciation Day.
So I was instrumental in writing that legislation. We got it passed in 2019. I also worked with Senator Booker, Senator Cory Booker, and Congresswoman Mikey Sherrill on trying to get that passed nationwide. And we still, every year, put it in to see if they would recognize it as a national type of day recognition. In 2020, on the height of Vanessa Guillen,
I was, you know, Vanessa Guillen was a missing soldier for Hood. And then they found her body in July. And I got involved in advocating in sexual assault, sexual harassment. I openly did not talk about my own sexual assault. And then I started little by little. And then in 2020, in July, I found myself testifying.
in front of the Congress and the military personnel's committee on the Me Too military movement and Vanessa Guillen. And also just changing the policies on sexual harassment and sexual assault. I've been advocating for the last several years and then found myself, I have to say, a little bit burned out. And...
It really led me to really restructure a lot of what I've been doing now and changing my mindset and changing a lot. So I know that's where you want to start diving into. Oh, I don't know, like you're breaking up a little bit. Okay, there we go. Your connection. Okay, sure. A little bit. Yeah. Yes, no, for sure. I wanted to kind of.
Talk a little bit about burnout for sure, but also not just even burnout. I feel like, you know, advocacy is such a huge cornerstone for leadership. You know, most people don't even probably wouldn't even think about it in that sense, but it is because for you to step out and put yourself out there to speak for.
people who don't have a voice. And that's pretty much what advocates are. Like you are putting yourself out there to be that voice, to be that representative, to, like I said, speak for people who can't. And so it's such an important role that you played. So important so that the army even thought so, and I forgot to mention this and I apologize that, you know, you were inducted into the hall of fame.
because of the way I'm being and I'm being inducted in May and March March being invested into the class of the US Army Women's Foundation is an organization that's not for profit. And they have an induction ceremony every year. And I'm being honored in March of 2024 for the 2024 class. So I'm very excited about that. That is that's a
That's a huge accomplishment because what you have done has helped change policies for the soldiers that are there now serving. You know, we are veterans and you know, these things that happened to us during our military service, you know, a lot of times people just, okay, it happened. I'm just going to keep moving. But you're like, no, something needs to change. And it takes a lot of guts and it takes a lot of.
confidence and it takes a lot to do something like that. And so I just want to, you know, just recognize that, you know, not to take off to stop talk about the burnout, but I just really wanted to put that out there and just how important that is because, you know, one of the things that I see for myself in the future in and even for the show.
is to really capitalize on not just women leaders, but even women thought leaders. And you know, when I think about a thought leader, or even just like, like, if you Google a thought leader, those are the people who have opinions, the people who want to speak out, the people who inspire change, you know, because of
what it is that they're talking about. They get people to think differently and see things from a different perspective, which inspires change. And it takes big, deep thinkers to become thought leaders. Thought leaders are just in another sense, advocates, if you really think about it, because an advocate is someone who speaks up for change. And so it's like, and, and so,
one of the things that I want to do is recognize women thought leaders out there. And I feel like you are a huge step. You are huge woman thought leaders, like the changes and the things that you have done. But to bring the conversation back to the burnout, yes, I can imagine what you've had to go through to be able to get Congress to listen to what you had to say. You know, I know you were on the news. I know you've.
done a lot of different interviews and you've communicated this to people so much to the point that they made some changes. And so what did that look like and what, like how was it that you found yourself being burnt out from all of the stuff that you were doing? That's a great question. So when I entered the advocacy space, it was all on,
my personal experiences, my narrative. And when I first left the military, I left the military with no benefits whatsoever. In the 90s, if you were single and you were pregnant, they would deem you unfit to serve. And with that type of discharge, even though it is honorable, they would eradicate everything else based on it.
So based on my assault, resulted in a pregnancy and then I was removed from active to reserves. In that making, I struggled, but also I kind of diminished myself and I kind of removed the identity of a veteran. It wasn't until about 2014 where I ran into a high school friend.
And he knew all the struggles I was going through, but he also knew that I was kind of building myself up. You know, I guess like a phoenix, you rise from the ashes. I started rising through my ashes. And he was like, you know, you should really start talking to people about what you experienced and, and what changes need to be make, especially the women's space. And the women's space is still a space that's very, very struggling. I mean, you saw.
Today and yesterday there was testimony based on what was going on in the Coast Guard. Same thing, sexual assault, sexual harassment is still prevalent, regardless of all the changes that we've made the last few years. It's still going on. It's still part of tactical processes in the military. So I really didn't talk about my sexual assault and sexual harassment that I faced.
But I definitely, I was talking about the inequities that I witnessed in the whole space when it came to women, when it came to going to the VA, what treatment looks like, all that type of stuff. And especially transition housing, because there wasn't any existing for women. There was only a few beds here in the state of New Jersey. But if you had a child, you're out of luck. You're not going to find transition housing. You're going to struggle.
So I started doing that type of work. So when Vanessa went missing, I tried to stay away from that narrative, that conversation, because it was triggering me. I have to say, I'm going to openly say this on your podcast, that as much therapy that I was in, the therapy conversation that I was having with my therapist did not include my sexual assault.
So as much as I thought I was healed from trauma, I was talking more about generational trauma. I was talking more about trauma just in, you know, therapy of my wellbeing. But I wasn't saying, hey, I have issues based on my trauma. So I, you know, started watching the news based on a conversation that I had with a friend who served with me.
And he was like, so what are you going to do about this? Like, you know, I see you talk about everything else in this space. And when I see her, you know, she reminds me a lot about you. She's Latina, you know, a lot of the same kind of story was kind of the same Latina trying to build equity, first generation joining the military. It's it was very yin and yang, you know, very similar stories.
So I was like looking into it and I posted my first picture of myself and then, you know, I am Vanessa Guillen and a lot of people were doing that at the time. So they find her body. I get a phone call from a friend who's an advocate as well. She's like, hey, a bunch of us are going to jump on a Zoom call. Would you like to be part of this? We're going to see how we could activate this movement.
and try to call for legislation to like, A, investigate what happened to her. But also we can look at just overall what's going on in this case. And I said, sure. And that call uniquely changed my life because I sat there with like a powerhouse of different women advocates that I've admired from afar because I was watching their work. And then I got involved and it was a very quick action, you know, writing petitions.
getting the signatures, what type of action are we gonna call, calling legislators. It was very, a lot of movement. And I found myself in 21 days, because it was July 1st, when we started this activation, we got our signatures. And I found myself in July 21st in DC, in the House Triangle with a petition handing it to Congresswoman, Mikey Sherrill.
alongside Lindsay Church from Minority Veterans of America. And we both handed these signatures to Mikey Sherald, to Congresswoman Sherald and said, these are the signatures we are calling to action the open investigation of Fort Hood. Boom. So we did this. And then we had like a big rally in front of the White House. It's during COVID. So it was, you know, we were very careful and stuff like that, but we're in front of the, you know, White House.
signs, calling to action, this type of legislation. I was on the train back to DC when I got the phone call from Congresswoman Jackie Spears. She was the head of the Military Armed Service Committee, Personnel Committee. Could you come back and testify in about a few weeks? And I said, OK. But it was really, I was like, OK. I said, yes.
Yeah, but then I'm thinking to myself, holy shit, like I have to put myself out there. Yeah. Oh, no, what did I just open up like, then you know, the conversation with my husband, the conversation with my children, I'm, I'm gonna put myself out there. And in those weeks, you know, we all a numerous amount of us, you know,
getting phone calls from reporters, doing a lot of work. So I was really in the weeds, but then writing testimony and making sure that the data is there and what we're gonna ask for and how we're gonna approach this, but also putting my narrative in there. So I go back to DC again,
Melissa Bryant who testified with me, Lindsay Church, Andrea Goldstein, they sat with me. We went over this testimony that we wrote. A lot of people were helping me, you know, demographics and all that good stuff. And then, you know, I testified Lindsay sat behind myself and Melissa. They were instrumental in making sure that if, you know, congressional had a question for us that we could answer.
they were on the phone, you know, making sure and then they would hand it to us to make sure that we are saying what legitimately has to be said. Because let me tell you, it got heated. If you watch it, there was a lot of questions thrown at us. But we were heated because we watched the AG of the Army and the person from the Army who ran the SHARP program really say some asinine.
responses to the questions they were getting. So I'm kind of glad that they spoke first because I was really like wired. But it was a very, it was a very monumentous moment, I think for me, because it was one of the first times that I saw women testifying on a topic like this. And it was two women of color.
which was very, very important to us because usually, and you know, I don't want to offend anybody, it was usually white women with a token. And it wasn't like that. It was too, you know, Melissa, who is black, I'm Latina, Afro Latina. We both, you know, we're both there for curly hair. We were ourselves and we brought it. But,
And then, you know, turning around for the next two years really being involved in this sexual assault, sexual harassment fight. You know, Netflix approached me to be in the documentary. So it was a lot. But I didn't realize that I could have prevented a lot from happening if I would have taken care of myself and said no once in a while. I didn't have to say yes to every single
approach that everybody was approaching me on, you know, every single interview, every single podcast, every single this, every single that. And, you know, on top of it, I was working on I had a job. I was sustaining a family, I was, you know, doing everything. Yeah. And I have to say that one day I woke up and I really noticed that I wasn't being myself. I was really,
I kind of have like a toolkit of things that I like to do yoga, running, meditation, mindfulness, journaling. I had all these things and I wasn't doing any of them, you know, and I really like being pulled in like all these different directions that absolutely. And I was depleting. I am diagnosed with PTSD and I, uh,
I try to practice med free. That's something I'm very, you know, I've always openly spoken about by practicing med free. And I found myself like really spiraling out of control. Like I didn't know what I could handle, what I couldn't handle. And I started slowly trying to say like, I don't want to do this anymore. Like to myself.
But I wasn't saying it to everybody that is your head. Do your headphones have like a microphone on them? Um, could you hear it now? No, no, I can hear you. I think your necklace is just, Oh, my necklace is hitting it. I'm sorry. Microphones every time. No, it's okay. Let me do this. Could you hear me better now? Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah. Cause I'm, I'm beating and you know, me, my Latin and NS is all moving all over the place.
I was just thinking about it. I was just like, Oh my God, it's like for people watching on video, it'll be whatever. But if somebody is like, just listening, they're like, what is that noise? That's my necklace, my heavy necklace. Okay. So, um, so I basically was spiraling internally, but not telling everybody that I was spiraling, but people were watching me spiraling and they were making judgment.
You know, I have to say I faced a lot of judgment, but I faced a lot of judgment from others, but I faced a lot of I was really hard on myself. So one day I went to speak in D .C. and when I came back from that speaking engagement, I said, I can't do this anymore because I unraveled. I really unraveled in front of a multitude of people.
I did not behave like myself. I was doing things that are not Lucy. And I said, I'm taking a break. I need to step away from this. And I texted a multitude of people and I said, enough is enough. I gotta get help. So I stepped down from a multitude of positions and I asked people just if they could give me grace.
and just not contact me about that, you know, about advocacy. So then the next step was walking into a Vet Center. And I did that. And I have to say, I don't want to say put my tail between my legs, but it sure felt like that. And I went in, I walked into a Vet Center after and I'll be very honest.
honest and open about it, I paced like a bridge for hours. I paced a George Washington bridge for hours contemplating like, what was I doing with myself? And then, you know, I told my husband, I need to see someone, I need to really start talking to someone, but I need to talk to someone about the right things. And I contacted the, I went to a vet center and I said, I need help. And,
I told them I'm a sexual assault victim and I'm a survivor and I need assistance. And sure enough, I started seeking the right help. And it was like the first time that I actually sat with a therapist and talked about my trauma. And it's been really different. I have to say, I mentally, yeah. So it was like, wow, you really wanna talk about
my drama and my narrative and what happened to me and what have I not done to get the help that I, you know, because I'm out there helping everybody else. Yeah. And, and I, I wasn't helping myself. And honestly, if you're doing this type of work, you need to be on top of yourself, your mental wellbeing. And yeah, so that's what I did. I feel like that's kind of like,
default that most women do, you know, you, we tend to take care of everybody else, you know, especially if you, if you have children, it's like, you know, you're always like putting your kids before you. If you have a significant other, you're a lot of times, you know, you tend to look at their needs. And it's so easy to look at other people's needs and just say, okay, I can help them. Let me help, you know, and be that nurturer that
we are naturally as women, right? But it is it's important to take a step back sometimes and say, okay, I need to nurture myself. I need to fill my cup and figure out what it is that I need right now so that I can show up for myself fully. And then I can show up for other people as well. Right. But it was so interesting, though, how selfish I felt. I felt so much like I remember I like,
I wrote my first journal entry after like going into the Vet Center and waiting for the therapist to call me back for my first appointment. And one of the first words, the first few words I wrote were, my God, like how selfish could I be? And I remember looking at that going, but what's so selfish about taking care of myself? Like,
My cup is depleted. Like I am on empty. I am really on empty. And how, how is that a selfish action? And I read that over and over again. I still read it. I still go back to it and thinking like, there's nothing selfish about it. There's no, there's no harm in wanting to take care of yourself. And another thing I did was I worried about what everybody else was going to think. And,
I can't do that. I can't really worry about everybody else's feelings toward me stepping away from this because I really needed to take care of myself. And, um, you know, when you're those loved ones around you realize like, Hey, Lucy, like you're smiling more. You look better. You are talking, you know, with more rationale, you're, you're being more of yourself than I know I did something positive.
And, and, but on the other respect, you know, I lost individuals that, you know, that I thought were my friends, and they, you know, have this, they've gone away and things to that nature. And, you know, honestly, it is what it is. I feel like anytime you do something for yourself, and you're elevating yourself, you're
expanding your awareness, you're tapping into what it is that you need, that naturally does happen. I feel like, you know, I've, there's like a saying, it's not quite coming to me right now about like, you know, you have people in your life for seasons, you know what I mean? So there's people that are there for purposes and different reasons and not everyone's meant to be with us the whole time. You know?
And I'm a book, I'm an avid book reader. So what I basically said was, there's a multitude of people in the last few years that have been chapters of my book. Yes. And I'm moving. And you just turn the page. Mark that new chapter and you know, characters last the whole story, but not everything. Yes. Yes. But also, you know, like, like Shakespeare said, what's done cannot be undone. I can't change the actions.
that I did when I was in my unraveling. You know what I mean? But I could change a person that I'm slowly becoming. But remember, and I posted it today, a quote that I saw that I thought was like, oh, I love this quote, and I'm going to post it today. It says, and let me see if I can find it, because I was like, this really resonated with me was,
I came across a quote that said if you went back and fix all the mistakes you've ever made you would erase yourself and That's all I ever needed to hear like I can't erase You know anything that I did negatively when I was in my spiral, but I could definitely make change So I'm feeling a better on myself and I can make those around me feel better I mean and and it really
That's like kind of the essence of what knowledge like you're looking at your past mistakes as lessons, you can't erase those because those are the things that turn you into who you are. You know, the decisions that we make when we're faced with different adversities make or break you, you know, you can always choose to lay down or give up or you can choose to say, okay, no, I'm going to push. Okay. I need to make a change because instead of just giving up, like you said, you were pacing the bridge.
you were on the brink of giving up, but then instead of giving up, no, there's another way. I need to just take time for me. You know, and, and, um, I know that people, there's people out there, they're, they're going through this, you know, like there's new moms that are overwhelmed and don't know what to do. If you have, you know, like the baby's screaming and you're trying to cook and you're trying, you know, or, you know, I seen, uh, I saw a tech talk.
It wasn't that long ago, like maybe like two, three weeks ago. And there was this young woman. She couldn't have been any older than like 22, 25, you know, young, early twenties. And she was talking about just working full time. And she literally broke down crying about having to commute to work and work all these hours and then commute back and then just being exhausted. And because, you know, you want to do your best. So.
like you give your best at work. And then so by the time she's home, she's tired. She doesn't have any energy to cook. Doesn't have any energy to go out and hang out with friends. Doesn't have energy to work out. She goes, I don't even have energy to date. Like, how do you even meet people? You know, like she literally had a breakdown and, um, you know, people in the comments, it's funny cause you know, people in the comments are like all these new young, you know, they, they joke and stuff. But the point of,
that is like, it's just, she's understanding that she needs a change. Like this is not for her. You know, like, and regardless of what it is, it doesn't matter if it's you going to work every day, or if it's you staying home and raising, or if you're, you know, doing grassroots advocating like you were doing, you know, like, or if you're trying to build a business, or if you're trying to build a following, or whatever it is you're trying to build.
Yeah. And create boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. I had no, I had no boundaries whatsoever. And I had to start creating boundaries and telling people like, I'm sorry, no, I really can't do this, but I can either point you in the right direction so you can get the assistance or I could, you know, help. I could just really get you to, to get the help that you need. And I've had to say that a lot lately.
And I'm okay with it. Before I wouldn't, I was like, no, I'll put it, I'll take care of it. Why am I doing this to myself? I can't remedy everything. And it's been very interesting. Like I, I have been journaling every time I say no, it's like, oh my God, I said no to this. And this is why I, you know, but what's interesting. And that's really good because that's a way for you to reflect and really just solidify to yourself.
that you made the right decision. You know, I did this for me. And it's not selfish to do something for yourself. I think like that's how we've been conditioned to believe that if you ever take care of yourself, you're being selfish. If you absolutely look as as Latina women, you know this, we are programmed to take care of everybody, everybody else. And our needs are secondary. And you know, we are programmed in that way.
And honestly, right now, my needs are really primary. Like I'm taking care, I'm feeling like my cup is full right now and I'm very happy about it. And like yesterday when I saw my therapist, she's like, so how are you feeling? What have you been up to lately? And I go to her, I woke up this morning. That was step number one. I woke up this morning, I did, you know me, I run. So I've been doing my running now.
Um, more, you know, not as frequently as I was when I was training for the marathon, but I'm out there running and doing my, now I really immersed myself back into my yoga, something that I had completely let go of. And now I'm immersed back into my yoga. So I'm really, really taking care of myself meditating every day again, something that again, I stopped doing. So I woke up yesterday. I woke up this morning.
I really, again, my dimensions are starting to go back to the things that were healthy to me. You know, I also made a decision. I'm a meta -Palsal Mary. I'll be right open about that, which I take as part of my issues right now.
And again, I've been trying to practice med free for several years now, and I made the decision of going on meds for my meta pause. And that I think also made a very substantial change in a lot of the ways that I've been feeling and the way I've been, you know, reaction to everything. So definitely self health, self, you know, keeping yourself healthy.
you know, mentally healthy, not just physically healthy, but mentally healthy is definitely something that for my burnout, I've definitely been working on. Yeah. And I like to look at it as a mind body connection approach, because I feel like you if you just have the mental clarity and your body's physically shit.
then you're still not going to be doing good. And then if you have the physical health, but your mental clarity is crap, you know, so it really does have to be, you do have to take care of both. You have to understand what it is that you need, but self -awareness is kind of rooted in this. And I talk about self -awareness a lot when it comes to leadership, because I feel like to be any type of leader, it doesn't matter if you're trying to be,
servant leader, you know, a transformational leader, thought leader, and any just a leader in general, you have to be self aware because the more aware you are of you, then you know how you affect the people around you. And what affects you, you know, what stuff on you is going to affect you. Like you were saying, absolutely. Right? Like you got triggered. And there's different things that trigger us. But until you know yourself, you don't know how to deal with those triggers. You don't know how to, you
set boundaries, like you can see a boundary being crossed and just, ah, ah, nope, can't do that. You know, but if you don't have any sense of who you are, then you're not going to even notice that that boundary and share a story with you. So, you know, I did the New York city marathon this year. Yes. Yeah. I did not train the way I trained, like the first time I did my New York city marathon. Like when I trained for the first time, I did it in 2018. I trained like a machine.
Like I was like out there like boom, boom, boom. But this time meant again, I was going through this mental burnout process and my running was there, but it wasn't quite there. So a few days before the marathon, I really started like.
I amped up a few weeks before the marathon was going. I really felt like I was going to do it and all honestly, I wasn't trying to break any records. I wasn't, trust me, I'm not out there to break. I'm, I'm not going to do a two hour marathon. There's no way. Basically I wanted to finish and I wanted to finish near the last, my last two times and, and that avenue, that was my goal just to finish just across the finish line. Okay. So I got an.
I got a text from an individual that I had trained with before. And they said to me, you know, I'm concerned about your run. And I said, really? I said, why are you so concerned about my run? Oh, because I haven't seen you posting and I don't think you're going to finish it. And I said, really? So because you haven't seen me posting how far I ran or how often I'm running, you really don't think I'm going to finish it?
finish it. Like this is what you're trying. This is what you're sending me. You're supposed to be your person that at one point sent me positive affirmations. Yeah. And what you're telling me is like, you're gonna fuck up. Yeah. So I and they like, No, that's not what I meant. And I'm like, I'm a good place, but didn't come across. Right. So then I'm just I don't he goes, I don't think you're gonna finish. So I was like, Okay, whatever you want.
whatever you want to think about, you go ahead and you think that, you know? So I started running and I started seeing this, this text in my head and I'm going, Lucy, you cannot see this text in your head. Like you are going to finish this. And every time I started feeling like, okay, my knee hurts, my hip hurts. I, I'm hungry. Should I stop and pee? I kept on seeing this text.
Like you're not going to finish this. And I'm like, Lucy, you got to stop doing this. But what happened was I got to the park and, um, you know, that you're finishing the marathon when you're, you start seeing central park, you know, you're like, okay, I've got, you know, I've got this, I've got this and I'm not going to give up now. Like I'm going to finish this, but I was in, I was really like, I felt depleted.
I had a little bit of a breakdown in the Bronx. I saw some friends, but they got me, you know, they gave me some coconut water and I have to say that coconut water does rehydrate you people. Like I got to the park and I ran into my friend, my friend Devin, and she just reinforced the fact that this is your race. You're not doing it for anybody else. And I want you to, to like just amp it up.
like amp up, just go and get it. And I just finished that race and I finished it 10 minutes less. Like faster than when I ran it with the person that sent me the text. So I felt so good. I felt so wonderful. So what I did was I took a picture, a selfie of myself.
all sweaty with my poncho on with my metal and I sent to them and I go, I finished. I finished. And, and I look at that picture and I'm like, I never wanted something as bad as finishing that marathon for myself. Because I felt again, the last few months before the marathon, I felt so depleted that I actually accomplished something.
by myself, I did it with no music on something that I usually do. I run with music. I put no music on. It was just me and my thoughts and running 26 .2 miles. So that's, um, I've only done a half. I've never done the full. Okay. So I've done a few half marathon, but I've only done a half. So, and I remember how my body felt after the half, but I told myself one day I will do a full just so I can like, Oh,
I did it full as well, you know, I always tell I always tell my husband after I run on my if I signed for and signed for one next year, like tell me not to.
was in the kitchen with him just now. I'm like, so I'm thinking of doing another marathon next year. And he's looking at me like, uh, didn't you say you don't want to do one? I'm like, yeah, but I don't want to do New York next year. And I don't want to do the Marine Corps. So I'm thinking of looking for another marathon and I do the Air Force now. I'm going to do I'm looking to I'm looking to do I'm probably going to do Chicago. I want to see if I could do two marathons next year. So.
Maybe I'll join you. Maybe I'll jump on the marathon bearing wagon and train myself to do a full because like I said, I've only done a half and I have always wanted to do a full. So maybe I'll do a full next year. But you know, it's so great. Like I love that how you were just like, no, I don't care what you say. I'm finishing this. Is that the picture you sent us in the group? You're like that big cheesy smile on your face.
Yes, here's my medal. Yes, I like shove it in. Yeah, it was so you know, because my my family waits for me every year. Like, I had I know where I'm gonna see people throughout the course. And I saw like, I saw one of my good friends in in.
Queens. And then I saw people in the Bronx, I saw people in Midtown. So I saw people all over the place. And my family always waits for me in the last stretch, like right before you start getting to like the finish line. And when I see them, I'm like, okay, I know I'm gonna finish this. Yeah, I got the finish line. Yeah, that's a finish line. And it's just so it's a it's a really incredible natural high.
It really is. I can't explain it. It really isn't. I started running at 46. It's not like I was a runner before that. I mean, I ran in the military, but I definitely started running like 5Ks and 10Ks and marathons at 46. So I'm 52 now. So it's definitely, again, it's part of my toolkit. It's part of my getting myself back together. So.
No, that's good. And I think as long as you should keep doing them, as long as you love them. And even if you don't want to do fulls, you can always cut it down to half and 10. But I wouldn't stop running like you just love it so much. So it doesn't make sense to stop, you know, and this is our fun, you know, for those of you who've never done one. Doing a race is so different than just going to work out and run.
It's like not the same thing at all, you know, because you can go do a 5k and even if you don't run it, you can walk it and you can do walk run jog, you know, just the experience and the camaraderie of all the people on doing the course and then the people on the side and then the swag and stuff that you get after I don't know. I always thought it was fun. I always had a good time doing them. I used to bring my kids to the five caves and stuff like that as well. And,
I did it. It was one of the things that I did just to, because again, you said, like you said, when you're in the military, you got to run and I'm like, if I'm running, I might as well run for something else too. It also just kind of kept me in that mindset of running all the time. And so I haven't had a race since I got out of the military, but I always, I'm going to have to come to Florida and run with you. Yeah.
There you go. Yeah, you're gonna have to like, come on, let's go. Let's go. Let's go. But um, no, Lucy, like, I think that's, that's, that's awesome. Um, and I'm happy that you won, like you finished, you won. I'm like, you won, you beat it because he told you no, but you know what I mean? I'm happy that you were able to complete it and complete it faster. And it's like, it's,
kind of like, like, it's such a good ending. You know what I mean? It's like, yes, you know, when someone doubts you, and you're able to find that inner strength to say, no, I'm going to keep going anyway. You know, and, and that is that, that is all important. That's all important for anything in life, you know, because anytime you do something, especially when you put yourself out there,
You're going to have people who are hating on you. You're going to have people who doubt you. You're going to have people who question you. You're going to have people who want you to fail as well. You know, it's not, it's not even always people in your corner, but when you put yourself out there, you got to find somehow that mental toughness to be able to say, even with all of your doubts.
I'm still gonna keep pushing and do it. And so like, that's so great that you're like, and self doubt is your worst enemy at times. Because let me tell you, I've sat here sometimes and really questioned like, okay, why are you doing this? Like, you know, and the negative talk could be very, very detrimental when you're trying to self advocate or you're advocating for others.
because why is your voice so important? I can't tell you the imposter syndrome, the self doubt, the lack of positive affirmations that you're providing yourself. It's really something that people struggle with and I struggled with it. I really, really struggled with what I heard others saying.
and those negative chatter that I heard and really taking that narrative on. And it's like, why am I doing this to myself? I know exactly who I am. Nobody knows me better than me. And why am I going to take on a persona of negativity? Because ultimately, the people that are negative around you, the people that want you to fail.
And I didn't want to be, it's unhealthy, it's not healthy to be around those, that individuals that really want you to fail. And I slowly removed those individuals from my life because I know who wants me to succeed because they are still here. They're still around me. I know the people that didn't want me to succeed because they are, you know, they're gone. And that's basically it. And you know what?
you know, by I, you know, there's nothing more graceful than basically not having to fight about it. If you want to walk out, go ahead. I'm not going to fight you. And you know, a lot of times too, it's a reflection of themselves anyway, when people are sitting there talking about you not being able to do something, or you not finishing, or you not this or that or whatever, and they have that negativity going towards you.
It's a lot of times rooted in their own self doubt, because if you fail, then that's a reason for them to not have to try. You know what I'm saying? Because you tried and you didn't do it. So what's the even point of them trying because, but if you try something and you succeed, then it's like, oh my God, so what's the easiest thing for them to do to put doubt in you to help you not exactly. One of the other things I did during this whole quest, this whole journey that I, um,
I've been burnt this burnout journey that I've been taken care of is I did a Ragnar race and these are like, it's like a race. It's like a, basically it's a relay race that you do with others and you do in a team and you have 24 hours to run X amount of miles. And sometimes in yours, you're in these really crazy courses and sometimes you have to run in the middle of the night. So here I am. I have to run almost six miles in the dead of night.
in this wooded area here in New Jersey called Weyanda. The elevation is about 1 ,300 feet. I didn't know that when I registered for this. And I had to go out there. And it was just me, my headlamp, a little lamp. And I hear wolves. I hear people saw bears. I had seen a bear earlier that day. And the mental process of that.
And I remember saying to you and saying to others, I felt like I had a vision quest out there because I ran there. I didn't want to do it. I was trying to tell myself, okay, your stomach hurts. Tell them you, you know, someone else could go for you. I told me myself, everything negative, not to go and do this. But I said, you know what, Lucy, you're here as a team. You're a team. You know, let's do this. Like get out there and run. And it had, it was raining.
And there was one point, I think I was like three or four miles into the woods and I started going downhill. I had just finished doing the incline and I was about to start going down and I decided to turn off my headlamp and it was just pitch dark. And I turned off the light. I had a little flashlight in my hand and I turned and I just, I just felt like it was just me. And I did it for like, I want to say I did it for like 50, 60 meters.
in and then I put the headlight out and I was like, I could do this. Like I don't need the lamp. I don't need this light. I just need myself, me to do this. So it was very interesting. And when I finished it, I was like, I finished this. I couldn't really believe that I actually did this. And here I am again, thinking, okay, like I'm going to do a Ragnar next year. I'm going to do it again. Yeah. Do it again. But this is the thing. Don't give up. Like I,
really thought about just hanging my hat of advocacy up because I burnt out. And I have to say, I'm still in that process. I'm being very selective. Like, you know, when you asked me, I said, absolutely. I'm being very, very mindful of who I'm talking to, why I'm talking to people who is, you know, who needs to hear this because people need to hear this. Everybody sees this side of the advocacy hat.
the work that we've done, the actions that we took steps, the positives, the fight that we fought. Everybody sees that. Nobody sees that, you know what, when we close our doors at night and we're sitting in our rooms, we have feelings going through us. And sometimes some people tap into them better than others. But the realization is that if you're not healthy, you're not mindful and you let yourself deplete,
your cup deplete, then trust me, it's going to be like a desert out there and it's going to be very, very hard to find water. I'd rather people find the water before it's completely gone than not, you know, you got to take care of yourself. It's really important because the better you are, the sharper you are, that it's more, you're going to be more with whatever is going on. So I'm grateful.
that I, you know, even when we did our women's leadership program where we had the opportunity to meet each other and we've bloomed this relationship, I was still in that precipice. I was still trying to see if this is what I really wanted to do and finish this leadership program. And it was, it was one of the things that actually filled my cup because I went there with an identity that people didn't know who I was.
And they, you know, they didn't know Lucy was the sexual assault advocate. They knew Lucy was a woman veteran leader. And that was nice. It felt so good to walk into a room with other women leaders and say, we are all here because what's the quality that we all have? We all are leaders. So it was really, really, it was really great.
Yeah, no, that's great. And you know, just kind of to piggyback on what you're saying, like, you know, it's it's a
It's important to, like you said, fill your cup to let people know what's going on, to let people know that the behind the scenes, because see, I don't think people even understand even when you were in it before. What one of the reasons why not one, but you know, there's multiple reasons into the burnout, but you know, people don't understand people are reaching out to you constantly saying that, oh, me too. Me too. Me too. Like, you know, I was.
affected by this too, I'm affected by this too. And, you know, anytime you're stepping out and putting yourself out there, because one of the other things I talk to, and I talk about on some of my pages is people putting out content, you know, putting out putting yourself out there on social media. And I used to be so against that before. It's so crazy, like I had this fear of judgment for the longest time. And that's stuff that I worked on myself, you know,
I'm trying to deal with my own inner traumas when I was going through my healing journey. But, you know, like I'm over that now, but so for the longest, I didn't want to do anything with social media. You know what I mean? But just the way the world is shifting and the way things have kind of the trajectory of things, if you want to do anything, you have to put something out somewhere, right? Because that's where everyone is.
Not everyone watches the news anymore. Most people are scrolling. So if you're trying to advocate for anything, you really need to be putting information out on social media. And so I tell people that but as soon as you become like an influencer, which is also, you know, an advocate is an influence, you're influencing change. And people are going to start reaching out to you, people are going to start asking you for help, people are going to hey, you know that you do this, you do that. And that becomes that's a lot because,
when you are like the type of person you are, when you have already putting everyone else before you, and now you have these other people reaching out to you for help, what do you feel like you want to do? Oh my God, I want to help, right? Because you put yourself out there anyway as that, but it's so important. Like you said, you have to be able to set those boundaries. You have to be able to understand when you can help someone when you can't.
You know, you need to be able to be selective. Like you said, okay, yes, I can do this, but no, I'm not going to do that. And it's so important to, to, to, to get to that point. And in order to get to that point, you know, you kind of got to know yourself and yeah. And I don't want to, you know, I know the whole social media aspect of it. Um, and you know, the, the status of like saying you're an influencer and things to that nature. I've never been good with that.
type of like, when people say, you know, I, that's not, I, I'm like, I'm not a TikToker. I don't have a Tik Tok account. I don't, you know, I, I really, I, I know myself, I know where my limits are. You know what I mean? Um, but I definitely feel that, you know, have I made change? Yes. I think I was very, I was in a really great.
position where I met a very, very important group of individuals and we made some incredible change together. We really did. That grassroots movement that I was part of, I mean, those individuals were just instrumental. The way we worked, there was a really incredible synergy with us. All of us are doing things that are still making change and are influencing things.
this day, but you know, I don't, I don't want to say that I'm X, Y, and Z, you know what I mean? It's just not what, but I, but I, I totally understand. I know people that, you know, call themselves influencers and are not taking care of themselves. I know people that are, you know, that again, that call themselves influencing. Yeah, you're influencing things, but you have to be mindful of,
how you're influencing individuals because I rather influence people and say, look, healthy mind will get you far. And burnout is real. I'm not gonna hide it from everybody that yeah, I burnt out and I'm okay with saying that. So yeah. But you're still here with us, like you said.
I got up today, right? And so, I totally got up today, yes. And you know, and that in and of itself is amazing because you know, you know, as we wrap up the episode today, I just wanted to hit on a couple of little things and you know, overcoming burnout is all about harnessing your inner resilience, you know what I'm saying? Like you, you,
You have to know what your limits are. You have to understand your capacity and you can be more impactful that way. You know what I'm saying? Because you can, like we were saying, your cup is filled. Now you can share your overflow with other people and you can actually probably influence even more and probably make more change because now you're gonna have more energy. And so now when you're showing up to,
wherever you're going to be going to, you're more vibrant, you're more yourself and you know, your mind is sharper, you can like think faster and you know, and be kind of like just like ready for action. So yeah, it's definitely a huge thing is just to making sure you understand who you are, self -awareness, self -discovery, taking care of yourself, self -care, those are all instrumental parts of being an effective leader.
And no matter what what area and what field of expertise that you were in. But Lucy, thank you so much again for taking the time to come and talk to us and in let us know if there's anything any way other people if they would like to jump in on type of any Are you doing any other advocacy for this particular thing as of the as of now?
Like do you have that you are - Right now, no, actually, I'm kind of, I've still, you know, people, I'm still in support of different organizations like the, you know, Minority Veterans of America and the Pink Berets, two very impactful organizations that were part of the grassroots movement. They're both spectacular organizations that if you are in any way, shape or form looking to reach out and do advocacy work,
on a multitude of women efforts. Definitely, those two organizations, I'm wholeheartedly support by all means, both of them are on social media, you know, NVA, Pink Berets, both extraordinary organizations. So, they are definitely the organizations that I put my full 100 % behind. Awesome. So if anyone would like to reach out to you for...
Whatever reason, I don't know, I guess you can reach out to you and you're LinkedIn, right? Yes, I'm in LinkedIn. I'm Lucy DelGaudio. I'm also on social media, on Instagram. I'm at Lady Del DJ. Right now I'm either posting about cooking, going to my, I love going to concerts and my granddaughter, those are like the things that I'm focusing on right now.
And my running journey because I do I do post about like, you know, my running because again, it's part of my toolkit and something very important to me. So I post about that now. So in your yoga. Yeah. My yoga. Yes. The other day I did post my dog did yoga with me the other day. He would not get off my mat. So I said, okay, if you're going to sit here, then you're going to do yoga with me. So my five pound lap dog did yoga with me the other day. So.
he was on the map with me. So I know my dog she every time I try to go do if I'm stretching or anything, she's like right there. I'm like, I did not put the mat down for you to lay on. Like this is for me. It's so funny. But but yeah, so thank you so much for again, like I said, for taking the time to be with me today. Thank you guys for tuning in to another episode of conscious leadership.
I hope today's insights have ignited your passion for empowered and purposeful, purpose -driven leadership. So if you really like what you heard, please like, share, and subscribe, and share this with other leaders that you think would benefit. So until next time, keep thriving, keep leading, and keep growing. Thank you.