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The ritual that might save the Amarvid is halfway lit when the lizardfolk pour in and a rot-infected black dragon falls out of the sky. Breath weapons sprout tumours. The party drives it off bleeding. Berdivar has never seen its like — which is, of course, the worst possible answer.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
Creators and Guests
Host
Host
Guest
Guest
Guest
What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
We can't be doing hard drugs just yet. We got to do it at the festival.
These donuts are fantastic.
Tannhuzzer says, eating rice balls.
Gnomes of souls?
No, no.
Absolutely not.
Are we eating a war criminal or an innocent little guy?
Black-winged, rot-stained dragon flies over him.
That's a big health bar. Does anybody else hear Dark Souls music?
Ah!
Let's give it a way to play some rock grinds.
Are you ready now, Thurston?
Yeah.
I'm always born ready.
Okay.
I thought you were born Thurston.
I was doing the recap.
I did it last time. Not I.
Not I.
Oda's right. Ooh, it's hulky.
Oh, I'm still putting pants on.
Why do you pants for rock grinds?
Why can't you fucking multitask?
Because I have 80 feet at once.
I do everything sort of.
Nothing conclusively good at the same point in time.
I get by.
Real as fuck.
Damn.
Damn.
All of my success has been a fluke, okay?
No!
It's his emergency pants.
His ass broke the other ones.
So here's the thing.
Oh, no!
So before...
All right.
Come into my office, hulky.
Okay.
I'll come into your office.
I'll tell you.
This is a workplace conversation.
Fucking principles across the desk.
All right.
Okay.
Tell me what happened, son.
Do you want me to tell you what happened to the story?
What happened tonight?
Start from the beginning.
Well.
What?
What happened in the story?
Or tonight's story?
Well...
Okay, fine.
Start with the out of game, and then we'll go to the in-game, and we'll convert over.
It'll be a seamless transition from our pre-show bullshit into the episode, right?
Right?
Right?
Yeah.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That'll work.
That'll work.
Yeah.
I can just point you twice over.
Seamless.
Seamless.
Seamless.
Well, the root of the problem was that there were seams to be mentioned.
So, before stream tonight, I, in true hulky fashion, decided to make myself a delicious
meal.
That meal was some burgers, made some smash burgers.
They were very good.
But I'm like, oh, you only have like an hour and a half before stream.
I can go to the gym.
I can go get shit done.
Thinking, yeah, I've diffed eating an entire meal and working out before.
So, I went.
And that was fine.
I didn't have any issue with that.
That's not the root of the problem.
So, I go there.
And I get about a quarter into my set after doing cardio.
I'm like, feeling real itchy.
Uh-oh.
Come to realize I'm having a full body reaction to something.
And I don't know why.
Don't, you can't ask me why that is, because I still don't know.
But I get my shit on.
I'm like, okay, you know what?
I'm just going to go home.
I'm just going to go home.
I'm going to clean myself off.
Clearly, it's something in the air.
I'm dying of some capacity.
And I'm leaving the gym.
And I'm so close.
To the exit.
When I'm stopped very abruptly.
Not just in place, but arrested by a very specific tearing of synthetic fabric.
Oh, no.
As one of the pockets on my leg, because it's one of those ones that zips up so you can store something at your hip.
Snagged on a machine on the way out.
And I damn near ripped basically a foot wide gash in my pant leg.
So my whole ass thigh is exposed.
The prophecy.
Not the thigh slit.
And then I came home.
I tried to forget about what happened.
I couldn't forget.
And now we're here and I'm baring my chest and my ass to you.
There's been much like Oren bared his whole ass to his people in the Fajal Mountains.
Yes!
Yes!
Oh, man!
Yeah!
That's why Hulkie's the go!
That's why he's the go!
Easy, keep that in the intro.
Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Rock Rock!
Welcome back!
If anything in the world of our show has ever deserved me fucking ticking down the pity point and just giving a hero.
Ruhua, give yourself a hero point.
Zoran, take me down a pity point.
Sure thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm complicated in real life.
It's fine.
Yes, sure.
You do.
Well, welcome, everybody, to another exciting episode of Rock Round.
You can always support us at NarrativeDeclaration.com.
And everyone would say, good job on the website, Vodo.
Good job.
Good job.
Good job.
Yay!
Thank you!
And over there, you can find all the information about our shows, what we do, stuff like that,
and also how you can help us keep the lights on because you guys showing up, saying hi,
always fills our hearts in a course listing either you're at home, in the gym, ripping your pants,
or skydiving down the earth.
We appreciate you listening to our show.
And with that, I think last time on Narrative Declarations, Rock Grind.
So, Hulgi has to be screwed in more.
What happened last time, Hulgi?
Yeah, Hulgi.
Keep going.
We started off last session still making our way back to Oren's home in the Jaw Mountains,
and the name of it, though fist-shaped, finger-shaped, escapes me because I didn't take notes of the actual name this time.
But on the way that you...
Wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Zoran put all this, all this, like, work into creating a narrative, and you're just so casually dismissive of it?
Well, no, I'm declaring that I didn't take notes of the narrative.
Oh!
That's completely different.
That's completely different.
Yeah, yeah, it sounds like an excuse.
Hey, how about you shut the fuck up?
You put all this work into naming this, and you put me on the spot.
I rep my pants for you.
Yeah, thanks for the content.
Is it Berg or Berg?
And then it's like, oh, there's an H in there, too.
Don't worry, Zorn went all out on the naming conventions for this.
Fuck yeah.
Yeah, just so you can make fun of what we called it.
We called it fist-reach, because apparently I'm naive.
Oh, yes, fist-reach!
Hehehehe chuckled.
Everybody is 12 years old.
That's right.
Although beforehand, we did end up having a few heart-to-hearts on the airship leading into that, fighting in Orrin and each other of the dire stakes that were to be met once we arrive.
How were they prepared?
Sorry, I'm 12.
How were they prepared?
Yeah, the dire stakes.
A dire state. Well done. Overdone,
in fact. We had a little bit of Yaoi.
Anhauser
went to the future and the past.
I didn't do that. We were almost
killed. That does happen in Yaoi.
We were almost killed by the
native folk Oren's home in
Fistreach when it was revealed that
everything is okay, in fact.
But they all sound like Oren.
Oren, in fact, is part
and parcel one of the many people
who live there
and they all talk like him.
It was beautiful.
We also ended up meeting
Zoran's
character, Oren's
father.
A terrifying
cyclopean,
not cyclops,
giant of a man
who loves his son
very, very much because Oren ran away
from home and they were all worried
sick that he wouldn't come back.
It was also revealed
that Oren's mother had gone
missing and has been missing for quite
some time and no one had really
attempted to locate her.
But there was also
some festival to be had
here in Fistreach,
one which Oren was to be a part of
and the rest of the party
ostensibly should not
be a part of for
well,
let's just say
most of the party
would not taste well.
And that is
more or less
left off,
omitting a few details
here and there.
and there's stuff
about a festival.
There was a festival
to be had into.
Yeah.
Opening track
for this will be
the theme
when you open
Hearthstone.
You all enjoy
some rest
in the settlement
Fistome.
As you do,
you are all
restored.
Heal
back
to
to full.
Able to
re-prepare any spells
that you may have.
As you
as you
have this rest,
each of you
is given
your own
dwelling
in some of
the wooden
structures here.
Baldrick
begins to drink
whiskey.
Relatable.
Good luck
with your whiskey,
Mr. Baldrick.
Guys,
he's drinking
a lot of whiskey.
I'm gonna drink
whiskey.
Don't do anything
stupid.
Who the hell
is that guy?
Yeah,
you sound different.
Budget Baldrick.
Well,
hold on.
I think that's
Baldrick.
He's got a cone
head in everything.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
Yeah,
it was a cone,
right?
Yeah,
it was.
Why did I think
it was a square?
That's weird.
No,
it's always been
a triangle.
Yeah.
He's saying
it's iconic
Baldrick line.
Drink whiskey.
That's what he said.
Yeah,
yeah.
That's true.
This doesn't
feel right,
but my eyes
cannot deceive.
Well,
it has to,
and then it is.
You know what,
Tannhauser,
it's like I always say,
more eyes,
more problems.
Your two eyes
are misleading you.
You should get
just one.
Poke out your other eye.
You've never said that.
Yes,
I have.
I said it in episode five.
I don't have any eyes.
Then what's behind
the glass?
Just nothing?
Technology.
Well,
I'm not going to
unscrew it
and let you check.
I want to see.
I get closer to your eye.
Glass
staring you back.
What's in here?
Tink,
tink,
tink.
Ah,
ah,
oh my God.
And now it's all dirty
and filthy.
It's like
Vaseline now.
So you can see.
Behold an eyeball.
I didn't say
that I couldn't see.
I just said
that I didn't have eyes.
Well,
how can you see?
I'm not seeing
blind,
are you like blind,
man?
Whoa.
No,
I just said
that I'm not blind.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Because like
your eyes,
they look kind of
weird,
man.
one of the
masked figures
has come out
to your gaggle
outside.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Yes,
it's very impressive.
I,
I'm,
I was rebuilt
with cybernetic
technology
from outset,
but I can still
see.
I just don't
have eyeballs.
How many fingers
am I holding up?
I'm going to hold out
two.
Two.
Whoa.
I like you guys.
You guys are
really easy
to impress
out here.
Yeah,
like yesterday
you talked about
how you really
liked us,
how this was
like the favorite
settlement you've
ever been to.
It is.
This is really
great.
Honestly,
you dare you.
are you planning
on making me
eat my words?
No,
we don't eat
that around here.
What do you
eat?
Like berries
and protein.
Oh,
because you kind
of laugh.
You made,
you went like,
ha ha ha.
Like you,
like it was,
like it was
something going
on there.
Nah,
it's going
to be the
festival soon
though.
The festival.
You're ready
for it.
Yeah,
what sort of,
what sort of
things are there
to do at the
festival,
Orin and
our new
friend?
Orin turns
around.
Yeah,
which one is
it?
I lost track
of time.
Yeah,
my name's
Newfriend,
so thank you.
Yeah.
Of course,
Newfriend.
Yes,
it was good
to meet you,
Newfriend.
Yeah.
What a convenient
name.
Deeply.
Yeah.
So anyway.
Want some
brick?
What?
You want
brick?
Fuck,
I forgot
about that.
You managed
to hold on
to that this
whole time?
Of course.
I don't get
high on my own
supply.
Huh.
Man,
I haven't had
brick in a
while.
Look,
we can't be
taking drugs
yet.
No, not
bricky cameo
everybody.
You smoking
a brick and
bricky.
The narcotic
formerly known
as bricky.
We can't be
doing like
hard drugs
just yet.
We got to
do it at
the festival.
Oh,
okay.
You don't
like pre-festival
Orin?
One more
time,
I'm sorry.
You don't
like pre-festival
Orin?
Sorry,
my brain
short-circuited.
Pre-gaming.
Is he asking
you pre-game?
Yeah.
Hey,
I lived in the
woods and I
never party.
So,
terminologies
is not this
for me.
That's okay,
man.
Orin is like
the best of
us,
you know?
Aw.
Yeah,
I bet he is.
He's pretty cool.
I like him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like Orin.
His teeth were
like razors.
Yeah.
Bah.
Then he just
turns and walks
away at that.
Oh,
okay.
Why are they
talking about
your teeth?
See you at the
festival.
I mean,
I guess they're
sharp when you're
a bear.
I'm the best
buyer in the
village.
I actually
haven't.
That's awesome.
Are your teeth
just normally
sharp?
Oh,
yeah.
Look.
What the hell's
wrong with you?
Everything.
Let's go.
Happens.
Good delivery on
that.
I like that.
Begin to head
towards the
festival area.
And we're
running security
for the festival,
right?
You are to
participate in the
festival.
I believe you
said you were
going to provide
security to
ensure the
festival happens.
Okay.
Yes.
All right.
Because then
we're going to
go find his
mom.
But, you
know, as you
approach, a
child approaches
holding wreaths
of flowers to
put around you.
Like, whoa,
don't stop.
You have a
flower.
Here, put your
head down.
Let me put these
flowers on you.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Of course.
Wow.
You look so
pretty.
She says
to her
That is
naturally.
You know what
they all say.
That's true.
Yeah.
Play it.
Play it.
Play it.
Play it.
Play it.
Play it.
Everyone wants
to fuck
what they all
say.
I played it.
What a
beautiful bouquet
of flowers.
How lovely.
Thank you.
If you keep
eating your
people, you'll
grow up to be
just as pretty
as me someday.
Oh, that's
so nice.
Hey.
Is there
enough room
inside to put
someone inside
you?
Yes,
technically.
They have
to be pet
cash sized,
though.
They have
to be
small enough.
I'm not
putting you
in a pocket
dimension,
if that's
what you're
asking.
No, no.
It's just
sometimes
she looks
at you
and like
sometimes,
you know,
it's not
this festival,
but when
we make
the wicker
man.
Please don't
burn me.
we make
the wicker
man.
We put
a person
inside and
his screams
sound like
music with
the fire.
I don't
like it.
Yeah.
It's so
beautiful at
night.
It's like
there's a
melody for
your eyes
and your
ears.
The flash
keeps the
straw burning
forever.
What does
it do?
Why?
Why do
you do
that,
though?
Is there
like a
greater
purpose?
Do you
is it
like to
invoke
some sort
of shame?
You're
funny.
She skips
off.
Based.
I don't
know how
to tell
you this.
That's
kind of
fucked up,
man.
What?
You don't
like her
execution of
our worst
enemies to
support our
war efforts
and hunting
grounds?
No.
We usually
do that to
the most
heinous
criminals.
That kind
of sounds
like what
the Tyrant
Guild does
with extra
steps and
more weed.
Yeah,
but we're
justified.
Understandable.
That's like
the Tyrant
Guild with
extra steps
and more
weed.
It's
art.
Perfect
line.
Amazing.
Here's
the thing.
You guys
burn people
alive in a
wicker,
man?
Yeah.
That's
fucking
badass.
Pretty
dope,
huh?
This place
rocks.
Yeah,
I feel
like at
your home
and mine,
Tanny,
they just
burn people
the regular
way,
which,
you know,
it gets
old after
a few
times.
I think,
yeah,
it's like
eventually,
well,
we don't
have wood
back home,
so it's
a big
constraint,
but,
yeah,
no,
like,
going to
a volcano?
No,
we just
rip them
apart and
put their
heads on
pikes.
You know,
more often
you get,
you know,
the whole
impale and
you line
the whole
road up
and,
oh,
oh,
oh,
oh,
another
Marvid
appears
behind,
uh,
Tannhauser
as he's
speaking.
Mm-hmm.
Why do you
mean you
don't have
wood?
No,
we don't
have wood.
I'm from
a desert.
His face
mask is
less of a
mask and
more of,
like,
the near
stump of a
tree that's
been hollowed
out and
placed over
his head.
What's it
like not
having wood?
Terrible.
We can't
build with
sand.
I mean,
you can,
but it's
much more
limited.
It must be
liberating,
right?
Not having
wood.
Do you feel
encumbered by
the amount of
wood around
you?
my flesh
presses up
against this
wood eternally.
I am trapped
within this
tree stump.
Do you want
me to take
it off of
your head?
It cannot
come off.
I will die.
Oh.
Why would
you die?
Because it's
all that's
holding me
together.
Are you
excited for
the festival?
I love it
here.
Yeah,
I mean,
I am.
I hear
some crazy
things.
So the
wood is
all that's
holding your
face together.
Is that
right?
That is
right.
Well,
you know,
there are
other materials
you can
rebuild your
broken body
out of.
Like what?
Like
metal.
Whoa,
whoa,
whoa.
We are
not,
we're not
about that.
You can't
say the
M word
here.
What are
you talking
about?
I'm made
out of
metal.
I don't
know what
that to say.
It's shiny
wood.
It's not,
but I've
just,
I've just
established
that there's
no wood
where I
come from.
Tannhauser,
shut the
fuck up,
dude.
You can
fucking
die.
What the
hell?
Why is
everyone,
he can
hear you.
Everyone is
staring at
you.
Or who
just goes
behind Tannhauser
and just
grabs his
mouth.
Shut up,
shut up,
shut up,
shut up,
they're gonna
fuck it
with me too.
And that
wood.
Yeah,
wood.
He's made
out of my
wood.
Isn't that
cool,
Tannhauser?
Isn't it
cool being
made out of
my wood
that you're
clearly made
out of?
Y'all got us
not plan things
like this
about each
other.
I love being
made out
of,
out of
Ruhua's
wood.
I'd like to
make a
deception test.
You know,
maybe,
maybe it's
Besterndale
did go
take that
nap.
How
might be
it?
So how'd
it go?
Well,
our first
check of
the night
was,
uh,
Ruhua.
That's a
19 on the
die for
34.
Oh my
God.
That's
impressive.
Shiny wood,
shiny wood,
shiny wood.
Yep.
Yep.
Shiny wood.
Sure.
Can I have
some of your
shiny wood?
Absolutely
not.
Hmm.
No.
Maybe if
you are a
good tree
this year,
maybe I'll
bring some
for you
on the
eve of a
solstice.
Okay.
And he
like runs
off maybe
20 feet
away and
then stands
rigidly
still.
Oh,
surely this
won't have
lasting repercussions
for this person.
Is that what
he's supposed
is that where
he's supposed
to be?
What he's
supposed to be
doing?
I don't know.
I'm not a
tree.
Why did you
lie to him?
What was the
purpose of that?
Because they'll
eat you or
kill you or
kill you then
eat you or
maybe the
opposite and
eat you and
kill you.
I don't think
he'd be very
tasty.
He wouldn't
be very tasty,
but they would
still try.
That might be
true.
If these
people are
anything like
her who are,
I mean,
not your,
fuck.
It's all
done.
It's all
over.
What do you
mean like
me?
I mean,
you're not
like you,
like Oren.
That's what I
made to say.
What's wrong
when I said
you?
There's nothing
wrong with
Oren.
Yeah.
How do you
react about
this judgment
to your
character?
I cry.
Oh,
look,
now he's
crying.
Oren turns
to his
fellow
Marvin and
goes like,
so what
other preparations
are needed
for the
festival?
Everything's
been prepared.
Yeah.
You should
like,
you should
go and
show your
friends.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Come on,
guys.
All right.
I guess we're
going to go
check out the
festival.
Tell them
about the
festival.
Yeah,
man.
Tell them
about the
festival.
What goes
on at your
festival,
man?
Which one?
The one
we're prepared
for.
He's getting
gaslighted
so there
is no
festival.
Berg's
feast.
Berg's
feasts,
Oren.
Look.
What happens
at Berg's
feast,
Oren?
here's
here's
what I
told you
to prepare
this so
you can
reveal
things.
So that's
why I'm
relying on
you.
You're the
game master.
You do.
Look,
I'm just
trying to
give you
a moment
for character
growth and
really embracing
your narrative.
your bit.
This is I
can't do
anything with
this one.
This is
yours.
I don't
know what
you're trying
to do.
I literally
can't do
anything with
this ball.
It will melt
in my hands.
I give it
back.
Okay.
Is that ball
also made
over who
was what?
No.
This is where
I turn to
speaker.
Speaker,
tell me what
the festival
here is like
and I regret
it immediately.
All right,
dude.
No,
no,
no.
Is so
beautiful.
In the
festival,
there are,
ooh,
I could choose.
I could really
fuck this.
I could say
there's just
statues of
Tanhauser
everywhere.
I said,
we just met
you,
but we love
your vibe.
What if,
what if,
would Zord
the wizard
begrudge me
if the festival
is all about
Tanhauser
for no reason?
Yeah.
For no reason.
All those
narrative decorations
of this fallen
pamphlets have
actually reached
here.
I mean,
he got there
at a decoration.
Yeah.
You could do it.
I gotta say.
Just take his
lore from him.
Go ahead.
It would be
funny to tell
Erndil that the
session he was
gone,
it turned out
the festival.
It's all about
Baldrick.
All about
Baldrick?
I mean,
at the very
least,
it could be
one of those
farmer's market
booths where
they sell
the cute
little plush
toys,
except it's
like a fan
made creation
of their new
favorite piece
of literature
that fell
from the sky
and hit them
in the head.
Oh,
that would be
good.
Buy some fan
art.
No,
wait,
but this is
older than
last week,
this festival
tradition.
This is like
at least we're
prepared for the
renewal festival.
It's where we
all kind of
gather around
and share
food and
merriment to
basically kind
of, you
know,
renew,
like basically
keep up the
force that's
around us to
help maintain
the growing of
trees and
the growing of
crops and
making sure the
water is clear
to give us all
that power enough
so we can,
we can help
protect this
land.
It's really
important festival.
That makes a lot
more sense than
what Tannhauser
was talking about.
Yeah,
I don't know what
the fuck he was
on.
Well,
you see,
I was just
looking at that
statue and I'm
going to spend
a hero point.
Stop!
It's like,
I'm hijacking
your shit.
I wanted to be
like the raising
of the American
flag in Hiroshima
but it's raptors
but you're at the
head with them.
Yeah,
yeah,
exactly.
Weird.
It's exactly like
that,
yeah.
It's just a monument
to the first
civilization and
it's all the
dinosaurs.
You got it.
Yeah,
you got it.
Tannhauser
surrounded by
dinosaurs
statues.
That one looks
kind of cool.
I'm not spending
my marriage
a declaration.
Guys,
so the festival,
guys,
you know,
as you come in,
it's by the
large main
building
where you
saw,
you know,
there's a
cooking fire pit,
there's tables
set up with food,
there's a little
archery range
here,
there's a lot
of food,
a lot of
different food,
a little training
ground.
Look,
it's very
quaint and happy.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Well.
Well.
I have a bad
feeling like
something is about
to attack and
ruin the festival.
Tanhauser,
don't be,
don't be stupid.
I'm sorry.
I'm just always
saying fucked up
shit.
I know.
Why would you
say that,
man?
You gotta say
you're sorry.
Man,
this robot's
tweaking.
It's okay,
Tanhauser,
we forgive you.
Thank you.
Please don't hurt
me.
Not yet.
It's okay.
shy away from
Rahua just
like lunges
towards him
just a little
bit like,
uh,
uh,
uh,
uh,
yeah.
Just like,
just like,
uh,
punk ass bitch.
I'm like gonna
wave my hand a
little bit,
that same energy
that set you
back in time.
Ooh,
ooh.
That's what I
thought.
I'm a,
you know,
I'm a time
wizard.
It's weird that
you keep sending
me back in time
because I am a
Whoa.
You're a wizard.
Yes,
I am a wizard.
I thought you
were a sorcerer.
What?
No,
you didn't.
I thought you
were a warlock.
I'm gonna kill
you all.
Now you only have
to do that to
one of them.
Huh?
Oh,
can you reapply
like ruin the
tokens and put it
back on so the
things can work?
Oh,
oh,
don't,
don't,
don't worry
about it.
Okay.
I'm on top of it.
Continue on.
He's like,
yeah.
He's like,
you guys did a
really good job
with the festival
this year.
It's like,
there seems to
be a lot more
food than normal.
Well,
you don't want
to eat too
much.
Yeah.
Come on,
guys.
Orin will hop
over here.
The one on the
tables and like,
he'll fix a plate
for someone.
It'll basically be
like,
like some beets
and vegetables
and stuff.
And he'll
go like,
eat as much
as you want.
He'll hand
some over there.
There's like this
meat pie.
All in my boy,
you and your
friends eat all
to your fill.
Okay,
dad.
Here's a strawberry
cake.
Oh,
thank you.
All right.
This is,
this is lovely.
Hey,
Mr.
Tanhauser.
I guess we're
starting with dessert.
On my way back
to the room,
I asked one of
other kind of
accommodate for
your needs.
He hands you
an oil can,
like,
you know,
that's like,
from the Wizard
of Oz.
Just to like,
you get it.
So you make
every onomatopoeia
and sound effect
known to man.
That's really
thoughtful,
but I do eat
food.
Oh.
Yeah,
you've seen me eat.
I make the
prozole.
Itagakimasu.
Is he speaking
weird things,
Mr.
Ruhua?
I'm going to put
another one of my
languages as Japanese.
Are you using
your narrative
declaration to
invent Japanese?
No,
I'm not.
This is not my
narrative declaration.
This is the other
agreement I have
with Thurston.
We got Jesus.
We got Ireland.
I've got
Brissy.
I've got one
more language slot,
unallocated language
slot.
I know,
and let's have a
quick review.
Tanhauser can
speak.
Common.
Also known as
Taldin.
Aklo.
Androfen.
Fae.
Dinosaur.
And Japanese.
I hate you.
He's having a very
Japanese time in
his life.
Jokes on you.
Dinosaur and
Japanese are the
same on this
planet.
Oh, great.
Oh, in that case,
I'll keep my two.
No, no, no.
You said it.
No, no, no.
It's like how
Common is also
known as
Taldin.
Dinosaur is also
known as
Japanese.
No, no, no.
You know what?
You're right.
It just makes sense.
It just works.
It's actually
Common on this
world is Japanese.
We've been speaking
in Japanese the
whole time.
When we finally get
an anime of this
show, they won't
even have to dub
this shit.
We're going to be
fine.
And Tannhauser
will be voiced
by Daisuke
Ishiwatari.
Everyone will
be.
It's already
done.
Daisuke Ishiwatari
isn't a fucking
voice actor.
What am I saying?
I mean, Daisuke
is not going to
be one.
Except Crotch,
who will be voiced
by Matt
Mercer, the
only English
voice actor
who can do that.
And it'll be
the southern drawl
for some reason.
Yeah, he'll just
be in the drifter
voice.
I don't know
why you're saying
some weird stuff
with him,
Mr. Tannhauser,
but come,
come and take
the deal.
Thank you.
Yes, these
donuts are
fantastic,
Tannhauser says,
eating rice balls.
Come eat
dumplings.
We have
mugs.
Come fill
your mug.
Yeah, mug.
I'm a
mug-a-maniac.
All right.
Tannhauser,
give me
fortitude safe.
I deserve
this.
That's good.
Have no guilt
or fear for me
if I fail.
All right, let's
see.
All right, that
is going to be
a solid 28.
You managed
to hold down
the food here.
It's tasty.
It's good.
Fina, give me
a fortitude safe.
Oh, I'd love
to.
I'll give you
a 27.
Cool.
Cool.
Cool.
Very good.
Very, very,
very, very,
very strong
showing you're
also enjoying
the food here.
Rahua, can
you give me
a fortitude safe?
Can I
investigate?
No.
No, that's
not a skill.
That's not a
fortitude safe
that I just
asked you to
make.
What if I
retroactively
asked?
Oh, that's a
two.
That's a 24.
Oh, cool.
The food's really
good.
I'm going to
mark something
down.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Can I hear a
point?
What does that
mean?
Yeah, you can
absolutely hear a
point that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a
20.
There you go.
Yeah.
You eat it so
much, you totally
understand that
there's nothing
wrong with this
food.
It's just like
you're kind of
seeing things
like everyone
around you like
is just so on
edge about it.
Like they're just
kind of making up
things in their
own heads.
Oh, okay.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Don't be weird
about it.
A little weird.
Do you like
the food?
Yeah, that's
it's pretty good.
I don't really
eat anything.
What's your favorite
part about the
food?
Well, I really
like the fact
that it's food
and I can
definitely taste
it, which is
weird because I
don't have that
organ.
You're funny.
Come to the
crock pot.
Okay.
Before everyone
goes to the
crock pot.
Uh-huh.
Or it will be
he's kind of
like wiggling
his little
little bird
feet and
like kind
of happy.
He's like,
I want to
say sorry
for I guess
rushing us
over here so
quickly.
I guess
everything's
fine here.
That's all
right.
Yeah.
You're worried
about your
family.
Yeah.
Which is
natural.
We still
need to,
you know,
we're still
going to have
a bunch of
stuff we need
to do.
Best to,
you know,
celebrate a little
bit in the
meantime.
Yeah.
At least we'll
get a break
from everything.
I mean,
we've been,
it's been a lot
really,
especially like
you and your
mom,
your family
and you
and you
and you
and you
and you
and you
and you
and you
and you
and you
basically,
you know,
full on
blowing up
a building
and revolution
stuff.
Yeah,
that was,
that was
pretty crazy.
I've pretty
much been
resigned to
die like
every day
for the past
year.
Well,
you haven't
made my peace
with that.
I know,
it's been
really surprising.
It's really
bad.
I agree.
It's a pleasant
surprise.
I think I've
only died once
actually in all
of our adventures,
which is,
isn't that nice?
Yes.
You know,
but I'm sure
it's only luck.
Has Tannelser died?
I don't think
he's dying in
Rock Rain.
I don't think
he's died.
No,
I died only
when everyone
else died
when we fell
from that great
height.
Oh yeah,
that was the
only time.
Yeah,
that was the
only time.
But I guess
none of us
realized that
we died.
Scripted.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway,
you're right,
things have been
crazy.
A bitch
needs some
cheese.
All right,
bring out
the guests.
And like
several people
come from
outside of the
structure.
They're just
some like,
they're just
some random
folk.
Oh no.
It's all the
same.
Oh no.
No,
the tokens
aren't set up
right now.
I fucked
that up then.
Who is this
anime girl?
Yeah.
Never mind.
An anime girl
comes out.
Oh my God.
Alexis the Rose
Queen.
She goes to
get a drink.
Does she also
speak dinosaur?
Yeah,
can we make a
connection here?
So it's so
it's funny you
say that one
of the other
ones that would
come out.
By the way,
these are some
of our patrons
thank for their
their background
characters.
See,
one of the other
ones would be
Xeno Cruz who
would show up.
Yay.
Hell yeah.
Well,
remember who
can speak
Japanese?
Thank you.
That's what
it's all about.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
All right,
come to the
crockpot.
Oh shit.
All right,
with an armful
of cheese,
I'm going to
come over to
the pot.
Let's check
out this pot.
Yeah.
I love pot.
Yeah.
Yeah,
it's not a joke.
I just
I like
I like pots.
Okay.
That's my new
thing.
They're all
staring into the
pot that's like
bubbling with
like brown
and like
yellow
brothy
liquids
with some
pieces of
protein floating
about.
looks.
Hmm.
That looks
delicious.
Good
stoop.
Yeah,
good
soup.
Well,
we haven't
have we
tasted it
or we are
we like
sticking our
hands on
like fucking
everyone is
like surrounding
it.
Just looking
at it's
like it's
like the
it's like the
alley from
King of the
Hill.
Yeah.
Yep.
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
That's good
looking soup
dad.
Don't need
the best.
Can I do
some kind of
check to
determine the
ingredients of
this soup?
Yeah, sure.
You're all so
paranoid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What kind of
check do you
want to make
to see if the
soup is really
soup?
Well, I think
it's I think
it's objectively
soup.
It is soup.
That's a
certainty.
Mm hmm.
Oh, I don't
know.
Crafting?
Crafting?
Yeah.
I think it's a
craft.
Crafting?
Crafting?
Crafting?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Give me
crafting.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Yeah.
You being
forthcoming with
what I mean.
That's a nat
20.
Okay.
What is in
the soup,
Thurston?
Oh, my
God.
Hearty
broth.
Some
local
protein.
It seems to
be animal
based.
There's fine
herbs that
have been added
into it.
nothing out
of the
ordinary at
all.
When you
say local
animal,
are we
talking about
venison?
Are we
talking about
lawn pig?
I don't
know.
Give me a
nature
chick to
follow that
off.
Sure.
Why not?
Very valid
question.
Well, between
you, me, and
Napoleon, I
think I want to
know what kind
of wildlife's
around here.
It's going to
be like fucking
chicken.
Oh, I saw
that six.
35.
Oh, it's
no meat.
Oh, okay.
That's a
clean burning
gnome, I'll
tell you
what.
A what?
Only the
best.
Yes.
My favorite.
Orrin gets
a bowl and
starts eating.
Oh.
Oh.
Delicious
red cap
gnome
stool.
Oh, red
cap.
Yeah, that's
awesome.
Yeah, now
it's morally
okay.
Red caps are
fucking
assholes.
They are.
They are.
They should
all be killed
and eaten.
It's like, are
we eating a war
criminal or an
innocent little
guy, you
know?
I mean, if you
look, I don't
fucking care.
I don't know
what Tynes red
caps are like,
but chances
are this is
not even
slightly morally
bad.
one sec.
It's probably
fine.
Chat's calling
me out on
something and
they're totally
right.
One sec.
You could
probably, if you
were like hungry.
There we go.
There we go.
Oh, there we
go.
Yeah.
There we go.
There we go.
I've updated
Orrin's dad's
chunk.
There you go.
He got bigger.
Dude, he's a
giant.
He is a giant.
He eats the
gnome.
Oh, Thirsten,
can you update my
token size,
please?
Make him small.
No, I have to be
one size larger.
Inch.
Worm.
Now, why are you
one size larger
now?
I took
ceremony of
growth.
Oh.
It was like a
permanent thing
now.
Yeah, you just
turn it on or
turn it off.
It's just
sustained.
Oh, since
when have you
been bigger?
You've got some
gains, man.
I've always been
this big.
What?
I hate you,
Rahua.
No, no, no,
no, no, no,
no, no, no, no,
guys, guys,
guys, we're
making a pact.
We're making a
pact for when
Dilla comes
back, okay?
Okay, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
When the token's
on the table.
When the token's
on, everyone's
like, Rahua's
always been this
big.
What are you
talking about?
What are you
talking about,
Baldrick?
Chat, you're
in with this.
Vod with the
gaslight.
Yeah, exactly.
He's not going
to watch the
VOD, so.
So, yeah, yeah,
yeah, and if
he does, Erndel,
if you watch
this VOD,
reminder, you
get a hero
point.
But only if
you, only if
you say the
line, Thurston,
I watched the
VOD and
someone in
chat totally
didn't tell
me this
happened.
There you
go.
Foolproof.
Yeah, absolutely.
No, no one
would ever
betray me.
No, that's
right.
The God
Emperor Mankind
once said
that.
Listen, he
wasn't
betrayed.
Why did he
make his last
name heresy?
Yeah.
It's true, you
know?
Who would have
seen that coming?
Yeah.
He wasn't
betrayed.
He was the
betrayer, so
fuck off.
I think that's
true and
based.
Blood for
Blood God.
Anyway.
Death to the
false Emperor.
Of course,
of course.
Yep,
everyone get
a ladle.
It's tasty.
Hearty.
Orrin,
two ladles
now.
Oh,
okay.
Orrin will
rush over.
Give me a
fortitude save.
Me?
Yeah,
Orrin,
give me a
fortitude save.
Okay.
That's a
four on the
die for a
total of
28.
I think what
makes me
happy is
like it's
a con
plus four,
master plus
19.
Your library
robes give
you a plus
one to
your save
to resist
this meat
concoction as
you consume
it.
Very good.
You're holding
it down.
Very good.
trying to
decide if I'm
morally okay
with eating
this.
What are you
talking about?
What's the
problem?
It's just
gnome.
It's fine.
No one's
going to kill
you for
eating it.
Do gnomes
have souls?
No,
no,
absolutely
not.
Not these
ones.
Fair enough.
I little
meowball.
Fair enough.
I believe
you implicitly.
Um,
Thurston?
Yeah.
Yes,
speaker.
One of the
fundamental
concepts of,
uh,
Tannhauser's
socialist
program is
intersectionality.
And I
believe that
I've currently
been hearing
some rather
prejudiced
implications
about gnomes.
Can I roll
occultism to
determine if
gnomes have
souls?
Please do.
Okay.
All right,
that's a four
on the
die for
a total
of,
uh,
24.
All right,
so what
that check
means is
you do
not have
the
determining
power,
but,
and I'm
loathe to
admit this,
there are
three people
in the
party right
now with
hero points
and the
ability to
make narrative
declarations,
just leaving
that if you
want to make
your mark on
the world of
time.
He's put
Chekhov's gun
on the table.
Speak now or
forever hold
your hero point.
Speaker,
don't,
oh,
you don't have
any hero points.
No,
I don't.
Yeah.
No,
I like to live
life on the
edge.
Uh,
we'll never
know if gnomes
have souls or
not.
Yeah,
Speaker,
do you think
you should ask
for a penny
point?
Wait,
why do I need
the penny?
He asked you,
fucks.
No,
you're the
one who asked
the question.
Yeah,
if you don't
want to talk
for him,
no.
Yeah.
Thurston,
can Tannhauser
have a pity
point?
I'll take a
complication for
him.
Are we just
making up all
the rules now?
No.
At least I'm
not losing my
arm.
If Tannhauser
wants to take a
pity point to
narratively declare
that gnomes
don't have
souls,
then he has
to take the
complication.
I never said
that.
Tannhauser just
doesn't know.
He's just not
equipped to know
if gnomes have
souls.
Well,
I could,
yeah,
I mean,
I mean,
he could,
he could get
the pity point
to reroll it,
yes,
but he would
complicate on
the check.
I don't know.
I'll spend a
hero point.
This isn't,
you can't just
offer up hero
points for other
people.
You can spend the
hero point to
narratively declare
the answer.
Oh,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
I'm going to
narratively declare
that the existing
gnome.
Can you say
anything?
Keep in mind,
this means that
every gnome we've
ever encountered,
the tiny gnome,
the gnome with the
funny hat,
if you make it to
where they don't have
souls,
when they die,
that's it.
I'm spending a
hero point.
Gnomes do not have
souls and have
never had souls.
No,
stop him.
Stop him.
You have to stop him.
You have to stop
this bad man.
I don't come down
the soul.
I will kill you
if you disprove that.
Oh my God.
Only you can save
the gnomes people.
I was going to say
that the subject
of gnome souls
has been a
hotly contested
and often debated
theological discussion
that has gone on
for centuries.
We don't know if
gnomes have souls
and we never will.
Okay.
Okay.
I mean.
Okay.
One sec.
One sec.
Before we do any,
before we do anything,
I have never been
more confident
and sure
of my course of action
in the entire
five years
of this campaign.
Guys.
I'm just putting this
on screen.
Just so you can look
at what you're doing.
Oh, I know.
Does that thing
have a soul or not?
No.
Yeah, make a poll.
Zarin, make a poll.
Zarin, make a poll.
Zarin, make a poll.
Does this unit
have a soul?
I'm delirating.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Sorry, YouTube chat.
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Actually, actually,
since we're like,
I don't know,
divorced from reality
and I can actually hear
Erdil's screams
from the bed.
Let's just,
let's just temporarily
go all the way here.
Oh, let's just
come back to this.
Oh, we're in time.
The only thing you hear
is
as you see this gnome
in the fucking vortex.
Oh my God.
The Genndy Tartakovsky
was fucking
falling through time.
I'm going to throw up.
You okay?
You okay?
I'm doing great.
So,
so,
like,
I don't know,
who wants to be
a millionaire?
Final answer.
Do we,
what is the,
what is the final,
what do you,
what do you mean?
Final answer?
Of course,
I'm standing by this.
Anyone,
anyone else
with the power
to save
the countless gnomes
of time
from oblivion
after Dav.
Oh,
here we go.
Chat's weighing in.
Chat's weighing in.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Oh,
good.
Good.
Good.
Okay.
Why is it,
why is it,
sometimes?
Why is it,
why is it,
why is it also,
for audio listeners,
I asked yours to make a poll.
And the options are,
like,
does gnome is soul.
Options are yes,
no,
sometimes,
time gnome only.
And so far,
sometimes is winning
with 54,
now 57%.
So we'll never have
a sometimes thing.
That's a song
from,
uh,
Louis,
not,
not Louis Primo,
Louis Armstrong.
Cause,
a woman is a sometimes thing.
Kind of sexist,
really.
We're all just looking
at the poll,
just waiting.
We're all just
in anticipation.
You're getting,
this is Lord,
you're getting here
a pin drop.
Lord's being written
right now,
live,
on Rockerine.
Everyone's,
everyone's participating.
We're waiting,
we're waiting to see
if gnomes have souls.
It,
it looks pretty solidly
in the court of sometimes.
Yeah,
I want to call it there
unless,
you know,
over 60 something
people say sometimes.
Uh,
yeah,
the answer is
sometimes gnomes
have souls.
All right,
final answer.
Sometimes gnomes
have souls.
That's your answer,
Thurston.
Sometimes they do.
All right,
Hulky.
So,
please mark your shelf
down here at Point Hulky
to definitively declare
that sometimes gnomes
have souls.
Thanks.
I'll be back
for this one.
So anyway,
I look deep
inside of myself,
ask myself,
do gnomes
have souls?
Discover
nothing,
no information.
Four,
four absolutely
gets you
sometimes.
I also,
does gnome
is soul
is like
the best.
Doesn't,
oh my fucking God.
Does gnome
is soul?
Shh.
He's gay.
Mars is gay.
I,
I happened,
I happened to be,
I do think gnomes
do sometimes
have souls.
Not these ones,
he's another.
All right,
you know what?
I believe Orrin
implicitly,
I'm going to
drink the soup.
I'm just saying.
Jason to the pot.
Oh,
oh,
I,
and then give me
a fortitude save.
Oh,
I got you.
I got you.
Watch this.
Ha!
Ha!
This orange
in a gnome
soup is
magically delicious.
Do I taste
that this gnome
had a soul?
You got the
soul-y part.
Mina,
there is
something
fundamentally
wrong with
the food
you were
eating.
It's like,
it's like
if you
deep-fried
Christmas.
That's what
this tastes
like.
It's,
it's like
your holidays
drenched
in a hearty
broth
and broiled.
Huh.
Well,
Christmas
at the
Vali household
was pretty
dog shit.
Until I say
otherwise,
everything
you eat
tastes
of candy
canes.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Including
your alcohol.
Ugh.
You're a
motherfucker.
Ah,
you bastard.
Ah,
you got me.
Vena's like
making,
making a face
and like
it's
smack too much.
It drives
people insane.
Oh,
sorry.
It's
kind of
minty.
It's
minking.
It's
is it
supposed to be
minty?
Orin
looks at you
with a
mouthful
of
no
Yeah,
let me try.
Okay.
Hey,
everybody.
Hey,
boss.
Yeah,
what's up,
Thurston?
Hi,
Thurston.
We're just
having a good
time.
Yeah,
I can
I can tell.
I'm really
I'm really
I'm really
like glad
for you having
this this fun
time,
right?
Like,
what's that
dice for?
Oh,
no.
No reason
at all.
Could all of
you just give
me a perception
check?
Yeah,
sure.
Just in
general or
for initiative?
Just just
just in
general.
I mean,
you know,
if you have
a bonus that
applies,
it might be
useful.
Okay.
20.
30.
Hey,
um,
Bruhu's
knocked my
dice over
on a 20.
Can I get
a 20 instead?
I mean,
it's where
the dice
laid.
I mean,
I mean,
I'll let you
spend a hero
point for that.
That couldn't
you can
no,
don't open
the door
to that
shit.
Yeah,
I'm good.
Orin got
a 34.
number
who I
got
a 30.
I said
I got
a 30.
No,
we didn't
hear it.
Tannhauser
got
a 20
on the
dice,
which
becomes
a 40.
And
Vina
got
a 19,
which
became
a 40.
Excellent.
Pretty
good.
Very
good.
I'm
very,
I think
you all
did
very,
very well
with
this.
I'm
very,
very proud
of all
of you
and your
efforts.
Just
do
some
stuff
here
real quick.
Let's
see what
fresh hell
is coming
our way.
Why
would you
ever
think
that I
would
ever
do
something
like
that?
You
know,
that would
be that
would be
wrong.
It only
happens once
a session.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
That's
interesting
that the
initiative
tracker just
popped up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It kind
of does
that
sometimes.
I don't
know.
I don't
know.
I just
said.
Yeah.
Foundry.
Yeah.
But you
didn't mean
anything by
that,
right?
It wasn't
like a thing.
Of course.
Of course.
I mean,
that would
be wrong,
right?
Everybody.
Right.
It'd be
strange.
A third of
ours in
the
initiative.
He's on
our side,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
You know,
for no apparent
reason,
if you all go
into the
encounters tab,
you know,
those numbers
you rolled,
I think we'll
just start
applying them
to you.
I think
that,
you know,
that just
makes sense.
That's great.
Odo,
that means
yours is up
by two,
if I recall
correctly.
Right?
Right.
because you
get a plus
two,
right?
Two,
two initiative
values.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Very good.
I believe
so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You have
Ruhua with
a solid
30.
I mean,
that's really
good.
Oren.
Oren was in
there with
a 34.
four.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tannhauser.
Tannhauser.
Tannhauser.
You,
you got a
natural 20.
I did.
It matches
the natural
20 that I
also had.
Oh,
that's,
that's
interesting.
Then I
guess our,
um,
resulting
modifiers
would have
to determine
the tiebreaker.
No,
because I
rolled a
natural 20
and actually,
um,
you know,
Hey,
what's that?
Hey,
what's that?
Uh,
Thirsten?
What's that?
What's that?
Hey,
let's,
uh,
let's come over
here.
Let's come over
everybody.
Hmm.
No!
Oh my fucking
God!
Hey!
Huh.
As you're all
debating the,
um,
the intrinsic
nature of if
gnomes have
souls over
stew,
fucking
black-winged,
rot-stained
dragon flies
overhead,
glides in
so stealthily,
its wings
disturb,
less
than the
air friction,
um,
and like,
the bubbling
of the stew
is louder,
um,
you know,
allowing it
to,
uh,
to maybe
go for
some initiative.
Hey,
Orrin,
is he supposed
to be here?
Huh?
What?
Artist freezes.
None of you
have acted yet.
So,
just gonna
fly.
I,
oh,
let's go
like...
Oh,
wow,
it's very
convenient how
gathered around
a pot,
we're,
um,
we're in
perfect range
for,
uh,
both all
clustered
together for
a breath
weapon.
I'm gonna go
like this.
We're just...
Very convenient.
Yeah,
it would be
so wrong
if...
Hey,
get that
60-foot cone
out of the chat,
please.
Whoa.
Why?
Why?
Are you worried?
Uh,
it doesn't need
to be there.
I don't know,
last time I got
hit by rock rev,
it didn't go well.
Uh,
I don't,
uh,
one sec.
Do you know
how to rotate it?
Here we go.
Yeah,
yeah,
no,
sorry,
it was dropping
down the wrong
one.
Here we go,
we're just,
we're just gonna
go,
you know,
we're gonna,
just gonna,
just gonna go
good old,
good old
60-foot cone
and all of it's
gonna be so good
as it's gonna
sploosh all of you.
Um,
in fact,
it's just gonna
sploosh all of you.
Like,
hey,
everyone in that cone,
yo,
everyone in that cone,
uh,
the dragon is still
40 feet up above
the tree as it
swoops in.
Uh,
what do you,
uh,
give me,
give me a,
give me a,
give me a old
reflex save there.
Oh,
shit.
Oh.
Uh-oh.
Oh,
reflex save.
I'm really good
at these.
18 on the tie
for a 40.
I barely pass
on an 18.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Or a critical
failed one.
I failed.
I'm gonna
spin my hero point.
You didn't use
that hero point?
Yeah.
I'm gonna re-roll
that one,
chief.
Shit.
Using that hero point
to keep his soul.
Uh,
I got succeeded
just a little bit
because of our
plus 10 things.
I roll eight on die
for a total of 40.
Good job,
everyone.
I'm very proud.
Vina won't take
damage from this,
but the rest.
I'm fast as fuck.
Um,
yeah,
you,
you are,
you are,
you are.
Oh.
Oh.
Now,
you're gonna take
57 points of rock
damage.
Oh,
ah!
Kua and
Tanhauser
are gonna take
half of that.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Um,
and at the same
time that this
beast comes
down,
you hear
shouting
from the
south
as,
um,
as several
figures begin
to emerge
from cover
and start
attacking
the locals.
You see
various
lizards,
serpentine
creatures,
lizard folk
in fact
emerging
to attack.
Now,
you're all
super
epic
pog
characters.
I'm putting
these here
more for
background.
You're sort
of having
this melee
around the
settlement,
but really,
as the security
force here,
the threat
of the day
is the
dragon.
Oh,
it's falling off
the cliff
over there.
Yeah.
Wee!
as is our
friend.
That didn't
move them
over.
I will
move them
back.
And one
of them
is just
hiding on
a cliff,
acting like
a tree.
Awesome.
All right,
Vina,
you're up.
Okay.
All right,
so my
auto panache
thing is for
when I dodge
an attack,
not an
AoE.
Alas and
alack,
so I must
get panache
from this
guy,
which I'm
sure will
be really
easy.
I'm going
to
just kind
of,
well,
back to
it,
and I'm
going to
go into
a tumble
through.
Reminder,
the dragon
is 40 feet
in the air.
Oh,
he's 40
feet in
the air.
Never
mind.
Oh,
I see
the plus
40 feet.
I'm
dumb.
Anyway,
I will
use two
actions
instead
to pop
wings of
air.
Then you'll
attempt to
tumble through
him.
I'll still
have to
move.
I'll still
have to
move.
So I'll
go ahead
and pop
wings of
air,
and I
think if
I drag
it on
myself,
it should
go.
But
please
effect
wings of
air.
please.
Please.
There it
goes.
All right.
So that's
two actions.
And then
for my
other two
actions,
I am
going to
or my
other action.
God,
two actions.
Good Lord.
I'm going
to move
my movement
speed up
into the
air
and match
it at
the 40
feet.
Remember,
when you go up,
it's like
difficult terrain.
Yeah.
Oh,
that's true.
Okay.
So 45
divided by
two,
we'll call
that 20.
So I can
get.
Going
horizontal,
you can go
the full
stuff,
but if
you go
up.
So I'll
go here
to 25
and then
I'll go
up the
rest of
my movement,
which I
think will
get me
10 feet
up.
Yep.
so I'll
put that
there and
as we
go careful
Miss
Vina.
Hey,
not to
worry,
bud.
Yeah,
Vina,
this is
going to be
fun.
I forgot
this.
We'll just
say you're
so smart.
Hey,
everybody,
friends.
Oh,
can you
all give
me a
will save?
I'm not
as good
at this
one.
I wish
I could
be
willful
by being
fast as
fuck.
19 on
the die
of
Prince
as
a
for
whoever.
Nice.
Oh,
oh,
my God,
I just
succeeded
with a
16 on
the die.
Nat
20.
Oh,
my God.
Hell,
yeah.
Pretty good.
I am
Tannhauser.
Also,
where's
Gorgamonger?
You are.
I didn't
just
desun.
Gone.
Gone.
Floated.
Yeah.
Do you
want to
do
on it?
Well,
he's
Gorgamonger.
Just to
keep it
fair,
because
you can
put him
down south
a little
way from
me.
Well,
I got
you.
Yeah,
just keep
it fair
for you.
And
Gorgamonger
needs to
make one,
because I
suffer with
both of
them.
That's
right,
yeah.
Yeah,
I just
want to
make sure
I'm
doing
it
right.
Oh,
okay,
you succeeded.
Actually,
just the same
roll for me
and Gorgamonger,
so it worked
out.
We both
succeeded
on 35.
Hooray.
So that
will be,
so for those
of you who
succeed,
you are still
frightened one.
For the rest
of you,
you are not
frightened.
Okay.
That was
Venus go.
Tanhazor,
you're up.
dragon!
You know,
in case
no one else
saw it.
And,
uh,
from there,
yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Very good,
very good,
very good.
Okay.
Here's what
I'm going to
do.
Uh,
I'm going
to,
very quickly,
I'm going to
try to move,
and I'm going
to try to
get right
about here,
knocking over
tables to try
to create some
cover.
And,
uh,
with my
remaining two
actions,
I doubt this
will work,
but I,
I have to try,
and I can
technically target
up to five
creatures,
including the
Lizardmen,
which I suppose
I could,
but I'm going
to reach my
hand up,
claw it out,
and even though
this creature
is 40 feet
above,
I am going
to cast
Grasp of
the Deep,
and grip it,
or attempt to,
with the
phantasmal
pressure of
the Deep
Sea,
and so it's
going to have
to make me
a DC
32 will save.
Sure,
I'll roll
that.
Ooh.
Oh,
just on a
four.
Oh,
my god.
Ooh,
this guy's
scary.
All right,
well,
regardless.
That's a scary
boy.
Yeah.
Dragon.
Well,
it's going to
take half
damage from
this,
and not
be grabbed.
But if it
had failed,
it would
have been
really sick.
All right,
that's 19
points.
That's me
done.
As these
phantasmal
things attempt
to, like,
grab and pull
at it,
simply tears
off.
You see,
like,
tiny chunks
of it.
The reason
it's not
effective is
because this
rotten nature
of it,
it's like
grabbing onto
tar and
peeling it
off.
It lets out
this bellowing
howl.
At this point,
Tanozer,
you see that
the citizens
here are
incredibly
panicked,
not just by
the lizard,
but this
figure that
they've never
seen before.
In fact,
like,
Oren's
father is
standing there
almost transfixed
at this
heretical
abomination
that he's
seeing.
Oren,
you would
know your
people have
rarely dealt
with the
rot.
In fact,
like,
except for
whispers of
it,
it really
hasn't
touched
this
area.
Oren's
panicked
stricken
a bit.
He kind
of quickly
turns to
his father,
like,
Dad,
get out
of here.
We'll try
to drive
it off.
Try to
get everyone
back to
safety.
So,
my boy,
okay.
Oh,
come on,
everyone.
You can see,
like,
your dad is
starting to,
like,
barrel through
some of the,
like,
lesser lizard men
and start to
shelter,
you know,
some of our,
some of our
people.
Yeah.
We're gonna
run in the
house.
Like,
as they begin
to do so,
Oren will
point,
he's like,
like,
Gorgermonger!
He's like,
try to throw
into ferrets!
Go,
go!
And,
or,
but,
as he yells
at Gorgermonger,
just kind of,
seems to be
lackadaising,
not really
wanting to
reply to it
all that much.
And,
he's like,
Gorgermonger!
Gorgermonger!
Yeah!
And so,
he's like,
fine!
Oren will
cast
Regenerate
on himself.
Basically,
what that does,
two actions,
an infusion
of bodily
energy,
da-da-da,
the target,
this target
temporary gains
Regeneration 15,
which resorts 15
HP to it
at the start
of each of its
turns.
While it has
Regeneration,
the target
can't die
from taking
hit point damage,
and its
dying condition
can't increase
to a value
that would
kill it,
and it stops
with creature
dying condition,
dying 3,
da-da-da.
Though,
if its
wounded value
becomes 4 or
higher,
it stays
unconscious
until its
wounds are
treated,
da-da-da,
and each
time the
creature gains
hit points,
Regenerations
also regrows
one damage
or ruined
organ,
if any.
So,
if I,
so,
during the
spell's
duration,
creature can
also reattach
severed body
parts by
spinning an
interact action
or hold the
body part to
an area it
was severed
from.
So,
if I lose
my arm
today,
I think
I'm good.
So,
we're going to
do that for
two actions,
and he'll,
and he'll just
plead with
Gorgermar,
like,
come on,
Gorgermar,
we got,
we got to
help them,
he's like,
well,
I'm like,
fine,
I will target
Rakuwa,
and I will
cast Kidance.
Nice.
Oh,
thank you.
And Gorgermar's
only turn that
he's going to
basically move
over here behind
the table that
Tanhauzer made.
And that will
be the end
of Ornn's
turn.
Rakuwa,
you're up.
So,
having fought
rot abominations
and draconic
rot abominations
before,
Rakuwa would
like to attempt
to recall
knowledge on
this creature
and see if
he can glean
some information
about it.
Yeah,
nature or
occultism.
Absolutely.
I will roll
you nature.
be a
35.
With a
35,
you know
that rot
dragons are
typically
standard variants
of dragons
found across
time that have
succumbed to
the rot.
In this case,
this is likely
a black dragon
that has had
itself been
infected by
the rot.
You'd know
black dragons
are typically
associated with
acid,
but this one
obviously has
some different
abilities based
off of its
infection.
So,
you know
the biggest
thing is that
the more
powerful variants
of these can
also be
spellcasters.
This,
you can assume,
would probably
have some
weakness to
moss,
but unsure.
Good to know.
Okay,
I can't get
any other
information than
that.
In that case,
Rua is going
to
make a
shielded
stride
towards
the dearest
rock creature.
I'm going to
have to
see my
actual movement
again,
because I
still have
25,
but I'm a
little bit
bigger now.
You do
that,
boom.
We're just
going to sit
here.
The shield
hasn't been
drawn.
pop my
little
tracker
there.
There we
go.
Cabo,
guys.
The dragon
still floating
in the air
just unleashes
this.
It drops
down,
gliding
down,
seemingly for
free,
just kind
of going
to the
ground
briefly.
As it
lands,
it begins
kind of
like
encanting,
and you
hear this
draconic
like,
which anyone
who speaks
draconic,
you know,
is like
magic.
But as
this is
going on,
you hear
it sort
of like
chuckle
fellow.
intruders
here will
not be
allowed.
This must
spread.
And then
it casts
a spell.
This is
mean.
It's going
to cast
a spell.
It's going
to be
merciful.
It is a
60-foot
line.
And so
you know
what?
He's actually
going to
have to
he's big
enough.
He'll hit
Veena in it
just based
on the
size of
him.
So it's
going to
hit Veena,
Ruhua,
and Orin.
I'm going
to need a
fortitude save
and then I'll
explain what
happens.
Okay.
Drop that
right there
for you.
A what?
Yeah,
just,
just,
just.
Ah,
that's a
good one.
Yeah,
it's a good
one.
Nat 20.
Woo!
Failure on
a 16 plus
an 18.
Orin failed
with a 29.
Failed
with a 34.
Okay,
so Ruhua,
you dodged
this,
but what
you see
is,
like,
the boiling
rot on
its flesh
begins to,
like,
float into
the air,
the tumors
spinning and
turning,
like,
oddly into
whirling
blades.
As these
black blades
of rot
come streaming
out,
through you.
Veena,
you're going
to be struck.
Ruhua,
you managed
to dodge,
having,
having understanding
of what this
creature is,
and then,
like,
Orin,
you're just.
I get body.
You are struck
by these,
yeah.
I'm yon.
Veena,
look out!
Huh?
So,
Veena,
you will take
28 points
of damage,
and now you
have persistent
bleed damage.
as these
cut through
and saw
through you,
and Orin,
that is the
same for you,
my friend.
Ouchies!
Um,
and so,
that was,
it dropped,
it roared,
it did that,
it will...
Oh,
good thing
I did regen.
Yeah,
um,
yeah,
um,
and that's
going to be
this thing's
go as it
continues to
just,
like,
roar at you
for this,
for your
presence here.
Veena,
you're up.
Oh,
shit.
Okay.
Woo!
Um,
nothing,
nothing we
haven't dealt
with before,
right,
guys?
Okay.
Uh,
he's dropped
down,
uh,
I'm ten feet
above him,
so I'm
gonna tumble
through,
kind of at a
diagonal,
I'm gonna kind
of try to
swoosh around
him.
Sure.
Um,
here we go.
Eh?
We gotta do
our best to
surround him,
Ms. Veena.
Uh-huh.
We can't all
stay grouped up.
Doing what I can.
Uh,
all right,
that is a
thirty-nine,
and I will
be able to
get
here,
or I can
go maybe
here.
For podcast
people,
uh,
you went
behind him.
Yeah,
I went
behind him,
and I'm
gonna come
back down
to the
ground.
Okay,
so you
are tumbling
through.
Oh,
great.
I'm gonna
get rotted.
Yep.
Well,
it's not that
you're gonna
get rotted,
that,
that would
be silly.
You are,
however,
gonna get
smacked
by its
tail.
Oh,
ow.
As
any
true,
uh,
World of Warcraft
raider will
know,
uh,
avoid the tail.
Did you fight on
Ixia,
Ms. Veena?
No!
Hit the sides!
And we'll
tail swipe
into the web!
Oh!
Oh,
my God!
Oh!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
I'm getting
all of his
boils there.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
Hey.
Yeah.
Uh,
um,
50 DKP
minus.
Oh,
my God!
Ow!
62 points
of
bludgeoning damage.
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
You can
now continue.
Oh,
I'm sorry,
I only picked
Final Fantasy
14.
Ow!
They have
much better
ground mechanics
for showing
off debuffs.
Ugh!
Ugh!
Grr!
Um,
well,
nothing I can
do but
smack him.
Unless he's
gonna smack
me again.
Alright.
Or,
well,
he's already
used his
reaction,
so,
uh,
you know,
get him.
That's an
envoy ability.
You need to
play an envoy
to get him.
But you'll
hit.
Damn it!
I will
still hit him.
Alright.
And you did
succeed,
so technically,
technically,
this guy is
off guard,
so I'll put
that on,
too.
So,
you would
have hit
by two more.
Meh.
Doesn't give
me a crit,
but it makes
me feel better.
Seven.
Alright.
So,
finisher,
that's not
great damage,
but I'll
give you
31 points
of damage.
Takes
31,
he roars.
Alright,
and then,
um,
for my
last action,
I'll just
hit him again.
At a map
minus five.
Whack.
Okay.
Okay,
I'll give you
a eight.
Yeah,
that's gonna hit
with the off guard,
so good job.
Very nice.
Just barely,
good lord.
Oh,
why did it
do the
finisher?
I don't
know.
You have a
target on your
character sheet?
Um,
when I use it
once,
it should go
away.
Uh,
here,
I'll just
roll damage
from my
character sheet.
Yeah,
roll just
standard damage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
damage.
Um,
yeah,
I don't have
my finisher
toggled or anything,
and I don't have
panache on,
don't worry
about it.
Just roll.
That's better.
Move on.
Yeah.
Uh,
very sorry.
That is a
24 points of
damage.
Okay,
let's do
this.
All right.
Good job.
Oh,
oh,
wow,
that's a
that's a big
health bug.
Does anybody
else hear
Dark Souls
music?
Ah,
make a recovery
check.
Take 12 more
damage,
Vina.
Oh,
my God.
Uh-oh.
Uh,
recovery check.
Uh,
I don't think
that does it.
Sure doesn't.
All right.
Uh,
Tannhauser,
you're up.
Tannhauser is
going to cry
out,
hold for as
long as you
can.
We need to
make sure that
Orin's people
are able to
evacuate.
And then
Tannhauser is
going to raise
both of his
hands.
And if I know
anything about
dragons,
I know it's that
they don't like to
be tied down.
So I'm going to
spend three
actions casting
earthworks.
and in a 15
foot burst,
I am going
to place
earthworks
all around the
dragon.
Okay.
Vertically.
You sure you
want in that
position?
Yes,
because the
space above
it,
not there,
but above
it,
10 feet up.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that way,
if it attempts
to fly or
otherwise move,
it's,
it's certainly
big enough,
I would argue
probably taller
than 10 feet,
right?
Yeah.
So,
Vina is not
taller than 10
feet.
So he's going
to have,
he's going to
have to worry
about that.
She's not.
The only person
that might even
maybe have to
deal with it
is Rahua,
but he can just
get adjacent to
it.
And if he decides
to fly up,
he will at least
be marginally
slowed.
So that's fun.
Good.
Good call.
Good call.
That is three actions.
That's the best
I can do.
Hopefully next turn,
if he stays around
there,
I might have a few
other tricks up
my sleeve.
I will end the turn.
Place it in attack
mode.
In attack mode.
I was thinking
about that.
I was like,
I can't make
that bit yet.
Good.
Good.
Audio.
Okay.
It's my turn.
Yeah.
Was that
Orin's Orin kind
of checks on
everybody running
away.
He's like,
okay,
good,
good.
Why's this big
AOE here?
Someone's making
an AOE.
They're probably
on the wrong
layer.
Orin will.
I'm going to find
where the base of
whoa.
There's a lot of
AOE.
AOE's in these
maps.
Somebody dragged
wrong,
it seems.
I think they're
hulkies.
I got them.
Yeah,
they were mine.
I was checking
something and it
freaked out because I
was dragging it
under my player
sheet.
It's all good.
Oh,
no,
can't do that.
I need to see
how far away.
Holy fuck.
Sorry,
someone just
messaged me the
most fucked up
thing because
they're watching
the show and
it's like,
hi,
Thurston,
Orin cast
regenerated on
himself.
What if that
piece of gnome
inside Orin
starts regenerating?
Red cat chest
burster.
Yeah.
Oh,
that's got to
go in a book.
That's so
messed up.
That's so
fucking messed
up.
I fucking
worship up a
throne at that
idea.
That's so good.
Holy shit.
All right.
All right.
Orin,
what are we
doing?
I was trying
pre-measure
here.
So Orin is
going to
whoosh
basically because
I now have
fly speed now.
I can just
do it now
because of
our level
13 stuff.
I'm going to
rush over here
for one action.
Then I'm going
to go to
Miss Vina
and be like,
I got you,
Miss Vina.
And he will
cast a two
action heal
at
fifth rank.
Yeah,
do it.
I go,
whoa,
whoa,
whoa,
whoa.
He got
Miss Vina.
Thanks,
buddy.
Hold him off
just a little
bit longer.
Blood in my
mouth tastes
minty.
I'll apply
this to you,
don't worry.
There you
go.
And you are
now healed
from that.
So that's
three of his
actions and
Gorgrubunger
will begin to
start heading
over.
He'll go
15 this way
for his one
action and he's
going to get
behind Oren
here.
So it's
in the south
of Oren.
Oren kind of
rushes up near
to the front
of the dragon,
heals Vina.
And that
will be the
end of his
turn.
Ow.
And his
fear condition
should be
going away
as he makes
a recovery
check as
well.
Gets a
19.
So it goes
away.
His fear
is now
gone.
Nice.
And I
think my
healing got
applied.
Yes, it
did.
Automate got
applied for
15 because
of regenerate.
Now it's
for his
turn.
Rahula,
I have a
quick question.
I've never
been in a
situation.
I'm certain
you will.
I've never
been in a
situation where
I've been
larger than
I ever have
been and thus
have gotten
reached through
the persistent
enlarge.
Am I still
considered flanked
or do I need
to be base
to base with
the...
So in this
case you are
going, if you
have reached,
now does your
enlarge and
give you
reach?
It does.
It gives me
the effects of
a persistent
enlarge.
If I pull
up the
actual wording
of this,
I'm just
ceremony of
growth.
Bolstered by
magical power,
the target grows
to the size
large if its
equipment grows
with it but
returns to
normal size
of the
creature's
clumsy one,
its reach
increases by
five feet or
ten if it
started as
tiny.
I'm not
tiny.
And a plus
two status
bonus to
melee.
Okay, and
if you have
reach, you
are flinging,
so...
Excellent!
So I'm
going to
attempt
something.
I don't
really think
it's going
to work,
but we're
going to
certainly
try.
I'm going
to unleash
a delightful
little AoE
seeing this
creature and
everybody's
stacking things
on top of
it, trying
to keep
this thing
in one
place.
And I
am going
to scroll
down my
stat sheet
and draw
that AoE
that I
was oh
so poorly
hiding
before.
I believe
in you.
And we're
going to
cast
stagnate
time.
Okay.
So you've
20 foot
burst.
I'm going
to move
that so
it's just
right here.
It doesn't
catch our
allies, but
it will
certainly
catch this.
Excellent.
Okay.
It does
need a
will save
on that one.
At the
beginning of
its turn.
With the
remaining
action I
have, I'm
going to
take a
chance to
smack
him.
Go ahead.
Smack him.
Target him
right there.
Give him a
little tap
tap.
Give him a
little tap
tap.
He'll let
me target
it.
Hello?
Come on.
There we
go.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Oh.
That's a
nothing.
No.
Well,
it's going to
be the end
of your
turn.
You want to
pass it over
to me?
I'll make
that will
save.
Yeah,
sure will.
Let's see
if I can
do what I
want to
do here.
I'm kind
of confident.
Okay.
Okay,
I'm going
to make a
will save.
Yeah,
I'm going
to make a
will save.
Yeah.
I'm going
to
absolutely
make a
will save.
All right.
So,
that's a
crit for
podcast.
It's a
crit.
It's a
crit with
a 45.
Vina.
It says
on my
screen,
you're
barely
hurt.
You
going to
fix that?
We're
going to
go at
you with
some
jaws.
Oh,
yay!
Oh,
my
god!
Just when
you thought
it was
safe.
Pretty
cool.
Water.
Pretty
cool.
Oh,
just roll
this.
Oh,
it rolled
terribly,
so it's
only 52
points of
damage.
You're
going to
take some
persistent
rot damage
now as
well.
you are
now bleeding
from blades
and this
black ooze
is seeping
into you.
You are
fucked up
in so
many ways.
And for
its next
action,
because it's
a dragon,
it once
again begins
chanting.
Do you
got to do
that?
It does.
It does.
And what
it's going
to do,
it is
it is
going to
translocate
into the
air 10
feet up
over here
by
Tannhauser.
Counterspell?
Yeah,
you absolutely
can.
Absolutely.
I'll
counter spell
that.
100%.
One
scundo
person.
Control Z
should be
able to
bring it
back for
you.
Yeah.
All right,
hold on.
Let's see.
All right.
All right,
all right,
all right,
all right,
let's take a
look here.
Uh-huh.
All right,
cool.
Oh,
I don't have,
oh God,
I don't have
translocate
prepared.
Never mind.
Boop.
Oh,
well.
Oopsie daisy.
And, uh,
10 feet up.
Cool.
Neat.
Pog.
All right,
that's going to
be the
dragons go
as it
continues.
You are
abominations.
I shall
rend you.
Abominations.
All right,
Avina,
you're up.
Okay.
I'm not
exactly sure
if I'm
making much
of a dent
in this
thing,
but,
um,
nothing to
do with
keep hitting
it.
First action.
That's worked
out for you.
Uh,
second action,
I'm gonna...
It's 10 feet
up,
by the way.
Yeah,
it's 10 feet
up,
so it'll be
an extra
20 feet
of my
movement
to get
to it.
So I can
tumble through
to,
like,
here-ish?
Sure.
Or I can
go here-ish,
see if we
can't flank
him.
Uh,
because,
yeah,
that adds
an additional
25,
and then I
can go
20 in the
air,
or 10
feet in
the air.
Um,
all right,
before I do
that,
I do need
to tumble,
I'm gonna
target him
for a tumble
through for
that last
bit of
movement.
Um,
ta-da!
And that
will just
fail!
Um,
I don't know
why it gave
me panache
twice,
I definitely
don't get
that.
Uh,
it says,
your thing is
failure,
you still get
panache,
you fail-
Oh,
I still get
panache,
oh yeah,
because my thingy-
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah,
okay,
yeah.
Why does he
give it to me
twice?
That's fine.
I don't know,
you should just
have once,
but yeah,
you tumble,
or you fail
to tumble,
but you get
into the
position you
need to be.
All right,
yeah,
I'm going to
very quickly
swoosh around
and just
hit him with
everything I got,
and I learned
nothing about
the tail
before,
um,
so,
Oh,
it's not
hitting you
with the tail.
That's a very
specific way
to put that.
Um,
enemies.
I'm going to
spend
hero points
on that one
because
I'm scared.
I'm really
scared.
Well,
that wasn't
great.
Uh,
just hit him
with a
40.
Yeah,
you do.
Okay.
Uh,
finish your
damage.
That was
pretty okay
for a
34.
You hit him.
He still
has so much
help.
All right,
guys.
He has seen
better days,
though.
He's seen
better days.
Uh,
you guys
got this
right?
Ow!
Ow!
Whoa.
Ow!
Oh,
yeah,
that's
right.
All your
persistent
damage.
Excellent.
Do you want
to roll your
recovery for
your bleeding
and your
rot and
see if
any of
them go
away?
First one
sure doesn't.
Next one.
Next one.
Oh,
yay.
Yay.
I've had
enough rot
in my life.
Good.
That one's
easier to
reapply.
Um,
uh,
uh,
uh,
uh,
um,
Ted,
how's it?
My turn.
Hi,
I'm
Tienhauser.
Hi,
Tienhauser.
Okay,
I need to
think.
I need to
do a
big,
big
think.
Okay,
here's,
uh,
this,
uh,
translocate
shenaniganry,
I must admit,
has upset the
balance of what I
was intending
to do.
That being
said,
it has not
completely
destroyed
everything.
Uh,
fellas,
this next
turn,
are any of
you planning
on attacking
the creature?
Yes.
With an
attack?
Yes.
Yeah,
that's kind
of what I
do.
Oren or
Gorgamunger.
Hmm.
That I
have to
pick an
option of
kind of
what happens
because I'll
say yes
for now
and say
good luck
everyone.
Okay,
great,
great,
great,
great,
great.
All right,
in that
case,
seeing this,
uh,
this freak
who's pivoting
around for
free,
I'm sorry.
The same
battle tech.
It's not your
turn.
It's not your
fucking turn.
I'm going to
take a look at
them,
scour through
the various
schemes of
fate,
and then all
of a sudden
blinking out
from my
eyes,
I'm going to
elucidate
all of my
party
into the
insights I've
gotten on its
next move
temporally.
I'm going to
cast my
seventh rank
spell,
true target.
And I am
going to give
four creatures,
uh,
basically D&D
style advantage.
I'm giving you
guys true target,
uh,
where you get to
roll twice and
use the better
result.
You also ignore
circumstantial
penalties to the
attack roll and
any flat checks
required due to be,
uh,
due to the
designated creature
being concealed
or hidden
till the end
of the next
turn.
Then,
I'm going to
clang my staff
onto the ground.
I can't help
but notice
that there is,
um,
a skillet
right here
on the table.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And,
you know,
skillets
require flame,
and so I'm
going to enhance
the,
the fire
present here,
and I'm
going to
cast
pyrotechnics.
And I am
going to
cause the
smoke cloud
effect,
where thick
smoke billows
out from the
fire and
coalesces into
a cloud that
spreads up to a
20-foot radius
burst centered on
the targeted
fire.
In this case,
right here.
Creatures within
the smoke cloud
take a minus
four circumstance
penalty to visual
perception checks,
and creatures
outside the smoke
cloud take a
minus four
circumstantial
the first time
I sustain this
spell each
round,
I can cause the
smoke to
descend up to
20 feet,
but I cannot
move the area
laterally.
Creatures that
start their turn
within the smoke
cloud must attempt
a fortitude save,
and then are
temporarily immune
to one minute,
and if you fail,
you are sickened.
Okay.
Fortunately,
all of your
attacks are going
to be ignoring
this cloud of
smoke,
but with any
luck,
it'll fail the
fortitude save
on its next
turn.
And hopefully
provide us some
kind of cover.
That's me done.
All right,
Oren's up.
Okay.
That's like,
majority of,
Oren sees majority
of his people have
escaped at this
point,
right?
Or some are still
in battle with some
lizard men.
The last few of
them are like fighting
against some of the,
some of the lizard
folk,
but yeah,
we'll say they're,
they're now,
the combat has
moved away from
this point.
They're all
sheltering in the
main building.
So at this point,
Oren will go like,
like,
we got to do what
we can to try
to scare this
thing away.
He's like,
you will hurt
people no more,
and he will cast
cosmic form.
And he'll take
on the powers
of the sun.
You recreate
your form entirely
out of cosmic
energy,
transforming into
a large battle
form.
You must have
enough space to
expand into.
Sparell's lost.
I go right here.
And when you
cast a spell,
choose to take
on the powers
of the moon
or the sun.
I pick sun.
You have hands
in this battle
form and can
use manipulate
actions.
You can dismiss
the spell.
You get the
following statistics
and abilities
regardless of the
form that you
choose.
Ace of 21,
blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah,
all that stuff.
Sun, I just
basically, I get
like a fly of
50, a speed of
30.
I could punch
people.
I could do
sunbeam, and
that's what I'm
going to do
because it takes
two actions to
do so, and I'm
going to use my
one action to
go sunbeam, and
let's see if
everything went
forward.
Yes, it did.
Yay, it did
automatically.
Want to make
sure, yes.
He goes,
basically just
fires down into
it, and that
is a 15 on
die for a
total of 40.
Now, what
does your thing
do for
troops?
Is it like
I get to
roll twice?
Basically, you
get to roll
twice and pick
the highest.
Okay.
I'll just roll
this again.
See which one
is the highest.
Yeah, it's 43.
It's whatever.
No crits.
So, he'll do
a whole bunch
of damage.
Or like 1d6
that rolls.
12.
That seems
wrong.
Why is it?
It's only
1d6 plus
10, and then
fire 1d6
persistent fire.
Oh, well.
Oh, well.
Yeah.
The benefit of
most form
spells is just
related to all
the, like,
ancillary crap
you get.
No, it's fine.
It's not really
the attacks.
He's got
persistent fire on
him.
Oh, yeah.
It can still
even something.
And Gorgomar
will take his
turn on 5,
10, 15,
20, 25.
And now he
goes this way.
And just to make
sure he gets
speed.
Yep.
That's as far as
you can go on
that one action.
Getting closer
and closer to
the Dargon.
And...
Oh, sorry.
I didn't...
I don't even
apply my healing
twice.
In that will...
Yes, that's all
the actions I can
do.
Get up to his
flank.
All right.
All righty-dighty.
Seeing Orin
grow to gargantuan
size to
squash this
dragon like
an insect
who is
galvanized
and moves up
further.
Channeling a
gnarkic energy
in his fist,
he goes to
lash out
with a strike
from his
mossy
pick.
A little bit
more since
he's changed.
But I'm
going to
attempt
to restorative
strike this
dragon.
Okay.
That's a good one.
hit you.
Put that in
chat there.
I'm going to
actually make the
attack action
here.
Oh.
Hold on.
I believe in you.
You can do it.
You can drag
to the
effect.
Oh.
Okay.
Thirsten.
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey,
hey, yeah, yeah.
I know what you're
going to do, but at
the same point,
here's how I'm
going to, like,
dick you over
more.
Now I'm going to
take advantage of
that sweet, sweet
tail this dragon
has.
Because you've
attacked it, and
it gets to do
this when you
attack it.
Uh-oh.
Oh, I have to
turn.
Wait.
Watch out, it's
Teril.
Rahua.
Rahua.
You get to
re-roll that.
Oh, that's true.
I do get to
re-roll it.
Yeah, you can
re-roll it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So do another,
uh,
yeah, just
attack again.
Yeah.
That's much
better.
But it still
missed out.
Holy shit.
Uh, let me see
if it's applying
the actual
status.
Plus, I'm
supposed to
get a plus
two status
for melee
attacks due
to enlarge.
I'm not
sure if it's
applying correctly.
He's also,
I should mention,
I don't know if
he gets any
ganging up or
flanking bonuses
based on this.
Not from, not
from this.
It is not
applying correctly,
actually.
It's a status
to melee damage,
not attacking.
Oh, yep.
You're correct.
My bad.
It's okay.
Mystified.
And the
problem here,
here's, here's
the thing.
Um,
Tannhauser's
ability prevents
you from using
a hero point
on this.
Because it is
a fortune
effect.
You can't do
multiple fortune
effects.
I see.
That makes
sense.
Yeah.
But you
tried and
Tannhauser's
was better
because it
wouldn't mean
it complicate.
So, you
know.
Yeah.
Well, fuck.
I did all
I could.
You gave
me a good
college job
in a rough
spot.
Dragon's
going to
go, as
was fondly
predicted by
Speaker.
The, the, the
fires here don't
seem to affect it
in terms of its
vision.
Uh, dragon's
going to
dragon, but, um,
it does have to
make a fortitude
save.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Indeed.
Indeed.
Indeed.
I will
roll it.
Indeed.
Indeed.
It will.
Like, destroy
it because
it's a dragon.
Oh, my God.
Holy shit.
Um, it's
it's it's
one action
this round.
It's going to be.
It's going to be
to.
Jaw attack
Vena again.
Hi, Vena.
Hey, man,
you don't
gotta do all that.
Oh, my
God.
Ow, ow.
Hey, Vena.
Mm hmm.
That splat
sound feels
very appropriate.
Yeah, you're
going to take
70 points of
damage.
I'm down.
You're down.
You're wounded
too.
That's the sound
I make when I
hit the dirt.
Yeah, you're
going to move
into now to
do the most
dragon tactic
that ever
exists.
Wait a second.
Oh, no.
Mm hmm.
No, no, she's
not down.
OK, because
guess what?
You got your
delay consequence
thing.
Oh, that's
right.
Yeah.
Oh, sweet.
OK.
Ring of
ding ding.
cast that forward
forward later in
time.
Mm hmm.
OK.
So I
will reverse
this.
So I'm just
going to spend
an extra turn
looking like that
one Willem
Defoe screenshot.
Yep.
A little bit.
it's OK.
You're going to
you're going to
you're going to
hold on to that
because that is
going to end
after one round.
So on the
dragon's round,
you're going to
take 70 points
of damage.
Right.
And for its
next two actions,
the dragon will
fly up 150
feet into gear.
Oh.
Oh, there
he goes.
Anybody feeling
a portent of doom
right now?
Oh, I
I am
Oh, sorry.
And I will
take four
points of fire
damage from the
Oh, no.
There's a trail of
fire as he ascends.
Yeah, this is
as the cosmic fire
like lights off
of him and
then he will fly
up.
100 because
he'll double move
to get 150 feet
up because his
fly speed is
150 feet.
Tanhazer.
By the way,
everyone, if you
didn't learn, we're
teaching the players
how dragons work.
I'm learning.
How many feet
I don't think
I mean, this
motherfucker, why
did you even bother
translocating him?
He would have just
ignored all the
difficult terrain
if he could move
on.
He wanted to get
all of it
because I
because because
I wanted to
just have it
prove it was a
better wizard.
Oh, I see.
Come on.
Yeah, Thurston.
Yeah, you're
right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Anyway, I'm
going to kill
you now.
Okay, let's
see.
I have nothing
that can fire
in range.
I can't do
anything to
meaningfully interact
with this.
The best I can do
is I am
going to
I'm no longer
sustaining the
stupid fire spell.
We never even put
down the thing
for it, but I
would say the
best thing that I
can do is I'm
going to cast
mist on the
cabin
to try to
conceal it from
sight.
Okay.
Yeah, that's
all I can do.
Pass turn.
Awesome.
Or you
heal your
the gnome
like kicks
in your belly.
Oh, I'm
pregnant.
I don't like
that.
No, no, no,
not like that.
You fucking
saw it.
Oh, my God.
You motherfucker.
That's what
even though the
spell actually says
to me and
not to know.
You fucking
did it.
I was going to
make you regret
it.
You have made
Orin pregnant
on this show,
you dumb
bastard.
My mama said
I got to come
home right now
immediately.
It is
debatable
whether or not
your baby has
a soul.
Hey, guys,
I didn't actually
check with my
mom if this was
a sleepover.
I got to go.
Bye.
You made
it bad.
You lying.
Anyway,
Orin's going to
dismiss the
cosmic form
because he
needs to
immediately
help Alice
with free
action, do
that.
He will
step one
and he's
going to
look to
Vina and
go like,
Vina needs
help now.
He's going to
six rank
heal
Vina to
help with
the inevitable.
Thank you.
You see
a stream of
green healing
energy come
forth and
you've been
applied with
73 points
of healing.
That's as much
as he's going
to do.
Gorgomonger
with his
single action
left.
He's technically
not in base
to base,
so that would
be, well,
he's 160 feet
up.
Anyway,
Gorgomonger's
going to chill
there and go
way in which
he could fly.
He got
a little
baby.
And now
it's Ruhu's
turn.
It is indeed
Ruhu's
turn.
So who
is not
immediately
nearby Ruhu?
Who's up in
the air?
Other than
the dragon,
which is
160 feet
up.
Yeah, I
think, I
think, I
mean, I think
Vina was
like, was
Vina, no,
Vina came to
ground levels.
I'm 10
feet up.
Oh, okay.
Mark it on your
token there.
Mark it on your
thing, because
you can right
click, and then
it's the top
left.
I thought I
did.
That's fine.
That still
works.
Why do I
have that?
With that in
mind, and also
what is immediately
going to come
to pass, who
is going to
take the
opportunity to
let out a
horrific screech
as an
arc energy
boils forth,
and I'm
going to
cast a
three-action
keel, a
30-foot
emanation.
Cool.
Nice.
Oh, we
definitely all
need that.
They have
three-foot
emanation
on us.
Yeah.
I don't
think I
need to
if you
everybody,
it'll
Oh, you
healed the
dragon.
That was
so nice.
It's just
the animation.
It was
just the
animation.
And then
roll
damage
healing.
Sanctitus.
I feel
that should be
higher.
No, three-action
heal does not
heal a lot.
The trade-off
you do is that
you can get
multiple people.
It's not a
big AOE
heal.
It is weak
in comparison
for that.
Understandable.
I'm going to
let Thurston
click the
heal button
so they
don't
accidentally
do it.
Yeah, because
like collectively
you've done
you know
one, two,
three, four,
five, six,
seven, eight,
nine, ten,
like 110
healing
but it's
spread.
How does that work for
Gorgamonger?
Do you both get
healed from that?
If we both get
healed, we both
get healed.
Oh, so you
double dip.
Yeah, I
double dip.
You both get
damaged or is
that...
Yeah, okay.
Cool.
Yeah, for
AOEs because
of how it
is, like I
take the
worst if it's
like AOE
damage, but
if it's
like healing
stuff, every
single time I
see him, like
if he gets
healed, he
gets healed
20, and
then Oren
gets healed,
he gets
healed 20.
Yeah, okay.
They kind of
balance that
out a bit.
Or we can
talk with Logan
later and be
like, hey,
what is this
for?
I don't know.
I just was,
I honestly, I'm
just not sure
off the top of
my head,
whatever.
I trust you.
Do you
be awesome?
If you don't
like it, you
agree, that's
fine.
No, no, no.
I am down.
Which is
right, Ian?
Yeah.
Okay.
Ru, is that
your go?
Yeah, I guess
three actions.
That is.
Yep, three
actions.
I need a
little bit of
juice for what's
to come.
You're
off.
Okay.
Now it's
Venus turn and
I don't think
you're prone or
wounded or anything.
But you will
take 70 points
immediately.
Just so you
know, there is,
there is a,
is a source on
this.
I just checked.
It is in the
class, the
ability.
Anytime you get
healed or take
damage, it's,
it's, it's one
source.
So you only
get the 20.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I will
revert,
Grogamongers.
Thank you.
Okay.
Yeah, but you
can take off your
wounded prone by
right-clicking it.
Oh, yes.
Wounded prone.
All right.
Still bleeding
though.
All right.
Well, uh,
I'll be honest,
I really wish I
invested in
better guns.
But, uh.
Oh, character
moment.
I'll get rid of
the guns.
Yeah.
Reward that
character moment.
Dragon, it's
range.
Fish fuckers.
Oh, well.
Let's see.
160 feet.
I move.
45 a turn.
45 times 3
divided by 2.
I don't, I don't
know if I can reach
him, actually.
Vina, don't chase
it.
You're finding
it's turf up there.
I guess.
Ugh.
Fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine.
I'm gonna, I'm
gonna shoot it.
With my pistol.
Why does it say
it's empty?
I never, I never
unloaded it.
Always keep my
flintlock noted.
You never know
in these streets.
You never know
in these streets.
Whatever.
I guess I'll have
to.
Uh, oh god, I
never use my gun.
Consumable.
Okay, can I, can I
not?
Please?
All right, let me
help you out here.
So, you have
doing pistols,
Brian.
Okay, there we
go.
Yeah.
There we go.
I was clicking on
the wrong thing.
Uh, so I'm just
gonna shoot at him
with my pea
shooter.
Do it, do it,
do it.
That's the one
that crits.
Okay.
Not anything that I
have a finisher on.
All right, what,
peep this dice
pool.
Go.
That wasn't
very good.
Take 12 damage.
Almost stunned it,
but, you know,
it could succeed.
Almost stunned it.
All right.
Well, uh.
Did the cover on it.
Reload.
Uh-huh, reload.
Okay.
Third action,
shoot again and pray
for a 20.
Uh, I think
Oren was on the
right track.
Uh, third action,
I'm gonna get to
cover.
Jump behind the
table.
Cool.
As you jump behind
the table.
What's back here?
Consequences.
As the effect of,
of your, your horrific
moment, uh, impacts
you.
Uh, you may.
Yeah.
Oh.
I almost forgot about
that.
Yeah.
Oh, bleed.
Oh, I'm hurting.
Okay.
It's all right,
everybody.
I'm having a really
normal time.
Don't pass that one.
That was really bad.
Oh my God.
Don't pass that one
either.
Jesus.
Oh my Christ.
I'm having a really
good time.
I love, I love
melee.
Once more, the blood
in my mouth tastes
like peppermint.
It does.
It does.
Are you, uh, sad?
You're not, you're
not where I want you
to be.
Um.
Oh yeah.
Eh, it's sad.
Oh man, the dragon
is going to go.
He's going to fly
over, go diagonally
down and only be
120 feet directly
above Oren.
Oh.
It looks up.
He casts a spell.
Oren, uh.
I need you to click
on this, uh, saving
throw for me.
Dope.
He's going to turn
you into wood.
What?
Just like me.
I almost saw
that one land.
I critically succeed.
Oh.
Oh, very good.
Very nice.
Very good.
Um.
I guess I have a thing
that lets me critically
succeed that, so yeah.
Yeah.
Um.
Nice.
Okay.
Well, that's going
to be its go.
Tanhazard.
I'm already
part wood.
Oh, sorry.
It takes one point
of fire damage
from the fishers
and fire.
So, remind me again.
This guy's landed
by now, yeah?
No, he's 20.
He's 120 feet
in the air
above Oren.
120 feet
in the air
above Oren.
Okay.
So, that is
not applicable
for the wall
of stone.
Um.
It's not.
I don't suppose
I could cast
a gentle landing
on it.
Uh.
That would be fun.
Let's see.
Do I have any?
Oh, you can
arrest its false shirt.
Yeah, yeah.
I bet.
Uh.
Well, unfortunately,
Tanhazard is kind
of bad at fighting
dragons, at least
with the current
spell set that I
have set up for
myself.
Um.
I do not have
the means to
force it to
plummet to the
ground.
I don't have
earthbine.
And I've got a
bunch of things
that, uh, slow
movement on the
ground.
Uh.
Ha ha.
Funny.
So, what I think
I have to do
is, uh, the
best bet to try
and do enough
damage to scare
it off.
Uh.
I'm going to
spend three actions
and I'm going to
cast Force
Barrage.
Yeah.
Do it.
And so, here's
the blemish.
That is three.
Oh.
Oh no, it does.
It does more than
one.
Okay.
Maximum of three
shards.
Uh.
And then I spend
one additional.
This is a base
level one shard.
So, I fire one
additional shard
with each action
I spend.
Okay.
For heightened
two plus.
This is heightened,
uh, to level
three.
So, how many shards
individually am I
getting here?
Okay.
So, it's level
three.
So, okay.
So, uh, for
each of your
three actions,
you will get
three shards.
Check.
Uh, you fire
one additional
with each action
you spend for
plus two.
So, you're
going to get
six.
All right.
Six shards
total?
Yeah.
Okay.
Great.
So, that's
one.
So, six.
Or you could
just save us
all a bunch of
time and roll
six d four
plus six.
Okay.
Wait, I
fucked up.
Okay, look.
Ignore all this.
I'm going to
just roll
64 plus
six.
Plus six.
Okay, let's
all save us
some time.
Okay, great.
Sorry about
that.
20 damage.
Boom.
Uh, peppered
by these.
Okay.
Absolutely.
Best turn.
All right.
Oren, you're
back.
Hmm.
120 feet,
you say?
Uh-huh.
I cast
thunder
strike,
which has
arraigned
120 feet.
Do it.
It's going to
obliterate this.
But it's all
I got right now.
Come on, roll
one, one, one.
Aw.
Well, it's a
normal save.
It didn't
critically succeed.
Yeah, you're
going to do
something.
You're going to
do something to
it.
Yeah.
And it's
thunder
strike.
Pow!
Thunder
comes down
for the heavens
and strikes him
for he'll take
half of 48.
Nice.
Uh, nice.
Okay.
Very good.
Very good.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, would you
say his
scales are
metallic?
No.
Does he not
narrate that his
scales are like
iron?
No, no, no.
The rot turned
into like, like
metal, but it
was not actually
metal.
You know what I'm
doing.
There was no
metal here.
I get you.
Yeah, there is.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, Tanhauser's,
uh, definitely also
not metal.
So, yeah.
Uh, he does
that.
That's what?
I'm gonna move
your dragon real
quick.
Yeah.
And Oren's
going to skedaddle
all the way under
this tree.
I'll move your
dragon back.
And, uh,
Morgan Morgan's
gonna stay
exactly where
he's at.
Uh, Oren
basically kind of
goes down to
the bottom
right under
a tree to
kind of like
get some
cover in
case this
thing wants
to dive
bomb us
at some
point and
just get
away from
his allies
in case it,
uh, wants
to do any
AoE stuff and
cast any more
weird magics.
So, with
that, Oren,
does that
one move
it flaps
away and
now it's
Ruhua's
turn.
Ruhua.
Oh, boy.
It's
Ruhua's
turn again.
Oh, lord.
It's
Ruhua.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
It's me.
Mario.
Hello, Mario.
Oh.
Hello.
Hello, Ruhua.
Hello, Ruhua.
Tadhauser,
what's that?
I'll let you
know that I
can brush my
teeth all by
myself.
Ruhua's
menacing over
you large with
a very big
toothbrush.
Last known
footage.
So, we're
just gonna have
Ruhua move
right there.
and I know
this is very
important.
Directly under
him.
Directly under.
This is, again,
this is critically
important.
Uh-huh.
And what
Ruhua's gonna
do is he's
gonna point his
big finger right
up towards the
dragon.
And just like
Ultra Magnus on
the poster for
Transformers 86 is
gonna shoot a big
old fucking beam
of light.
I'm gonna cast
Radiant Beam.
Do you do the
whole, can you
do like the
whole like
Dragon Ball
thing?
Don't,
different IP,
different IP.
I'm shooting my,
I'm shooting my
iconic Transformers
gun right now.
Transformers gun,
Transformers gun.
Boam.
Boam.
Boam.
Boam.
Boam.
Is that a critical
success or a
regular success?
No, just a regular
success.
Okay.
That's okay.
The 38.
Yeah.
I got you.
It didn't appear on
my sheet for some
reason, so I
couldn't see.
It shows right by
his stand at the
bottom there.
In the corner.
Oh, shit.
Guys, it didn't
appear on his
sheet, okay?
Yeah.
It doesn't exist,
okay?
Yeah.
It doesn't exist,
bro.
Yeah.
It's not there.
Stop, bro.
Stop fucking
talking about
this.
Try to keep
up.
Try to keep
up.
32 damage.
Interesting.
Hey, the
dragon's not
feeling good.
That's crazy.
I'm not feeling
good either.
I mean, I
think so.
He just fucking
shot him in the
stomach.
Is that your
go?
Is that your
go?
Vina?
Show no
viz.
Okay.
Vina is
having a very
tough time and
I've calculated
how far I can
move up.
It's less than
half of his
current distance.
Correct.
Vina, don't
do it.
You know,
I'm not sure
what my options
are here.
You keep
shooting it.
If you go
nearer, you'll
get swapped.
And if he
beats you up,
you'll fall
120 feet.
Why are you
ruining my
face?
That's true.
What did
you?
What?
I'm sorry.
What?
What?
That was
awesome.
So cool,
Thurston.
I love hanging
out with you,
Thurston.
I know.
I'm not
a motherfucker
for this.
This is
players aren't
turning to
Odo.
Hey,
man.
Don't do
it.
You're going to
fall under
20 feet.
Oh God.
And you
have to
sustain flight
up there,
which is an
action and
everything else.
If he ain't
near you,
he ain't
hurting you.
True.
Until he
does fireball.
don't say
that.
Okay.
He's a
wizard.
Peashooter.
Yeah.
Like
Tannhauser.
Like
Tannhauser.
Yeah.
Peashooter
go.
Boom,
baby.
Why?
Good job.
A second
crit?
Why don't I
ever crit on
my finishers?
And they just
start coming
and they
start coming.
Just change
your fucking
class to
gunslinger,
dude.
You're
fucking
cooked.
I know.
I'm
cooked.
Vito's
going to wake
up one day
and be like,
I'm sick
of this
fucking
sword.
Give me
a gun.
I'm sick
of this
stupid
chud
sword.
Alright,
well.
Hashtag
my chud
sword.
Chud
Hauser.
No!
Points
of damage.
And he
will still
crit succeed
on that
fortitude
save.
So,
that was
action number
one.
Action
number
two,
I'm
going to
reload.
Action
number
three,
I'm
going to
shoot him
with a
map
minus
five.
I was
going to
laugh.
How does
that hit?
Wait,
no,
you rolled
a 20
again.
What
the fuck?
What
the fuck?
What the
fuck?
You
wrote me,
does it
crit?
Because
it's a
correct degree.
It's a
degree of
failure.
Because
it's not
10.
It's
not,
it's
less than
10.
Yep.
Yep.
Well,
damn it.
You did.
five damage
live in
fear.
I don't
think he
felt that
one at
all,
but that's
going to
be my
turn.
Hey,
you're not
Odo.
What happened
to Odo?
What?
You're not
Odo.
Where's the
Odo that
rolls bad?
Odo always
rolls bad.
This is not
real.
This is,
what have you
done with her?
I don't
know what
happened here.
I think it's
because the
universe wants
me to roll
well only
when it's
funny.
Ow!
Because,
oh,
there we go.
On the
things that
actually do
the big
swashbuckler
damage,
it's just
like,
nah,
you don't
do that one.
You crit on
your peashooter,
though.
Crit fail
again!
Maybe I'll
roll above a
10 on these.
No,
I won't.
For your
fucking
debos,
dude.
Hey,
Merrill,
I was
saying,
I'm
complimenting
him that
way.
Glad to
have you
back.
Yeah,
exactly.
Welcome
back,
Odo.
Hey,
everybody,
the dragon,
the dragon's
gonna go now.
Don't do
that.
Can we
convince him
not to?
Move this
way in a
dive bomb
formation.
Oh,
no!
He's
going to be
basically dive
bomb for its
first action
to be 20
feet above
you.
Oh,
great!
Which is
very convenient.
Above Odo.
Above Odo.
Which is
very convenient
because that's
actually gonna
put you
squarely in
its jaw
range.
Actually,
it's gonna go,
sorry,
my bad,
it's gonna have
to go 15
feet.
It wants to
make sure you
fit in the
jaws.
This next
action is
gonna be to
jaw attack
you.
Oh,
jaws.
Great.
I love
that sound.
That sounds
good.
That's a good
thing that just
happened,
right?
Yeah,
interesting.
Thurston,
I'm going to
use a
reaction,
and I am
going to
reduce a
little bit of
damage from
that.
I don't think
actually it's
not gonna
fucking save
me,
is it?
If it's
nimble dodge,
you'll still
crit.
No,
no,
planar
sidestep.
I gain
resistance 25
to all
damage against
the triggering
attack.
So 25
might matter,
that will
only mean
it will
do
damage.
Oh,
then I'll
live.
Yeah,
I'll planar
sidestep
to stay
alive.
It'll be
at three
hit points
as you
planar
sidestep.
And then
it will
spend its
next action
to fly
150 feet
away.
Fucker!
I'm gonna
crit you
with my
stupid gun
again.
So it'll
be 150
feet away
from you,
Vina.
Great.
Fucking
hate this
shit!
Alright,
it's 150
feet.
No,
no,
no,
from you,
from you,
Tannhauser,
it's gonna
be 200
feet.
Okay,
that's fine.
That's easily
within range.
I cast
chain
lightning.
Okay,
yeah,
sweet.
Range,
feet.
Yeah,
that'll do
it.
I'll fucking
now go,
oh,
shit,
zap!
Still
succeed.
Roll damage.
Rarely
succeeds,
yeah,
absolutely.
37.
Okay.
All right,
and then for
my last
action,
I am
going
to,
let's
see,
drain
bonded
item
and restore
my chain
lightning
spell slot.
Okay.
All right.
Well,
then,
hello,
Mario.
I was
depending
what to
do on
some
other
stuff,
but I
got to
go save
Vina before
her stuff
basically
takes her
away.
Am I that
fast on one?
What the
hell?
What the
heck?
All right,
one action,
fly,
pretty much
just using my
fly speed
because it's
now faster
than my
land,
just
fluttering.
I am
still 50
feet away
from you,
so we're
going to
have to
do this
the hard
way.
We'll go
another
35 to
here,
and then I
want to
use
doctor's
visitation.
I get
out my
little
medic bag,
kind of put it
to the side,
get my
stethoscope
on.
Thanks,
Doc,
I'm
feeling real
bad.
Tell me,
Vina,
on a scale
of one to
ten,
how much
pain are
you in?
Eleven.
Ah,
they always
say that.
Anyway,
fight on
this,
he gives
you a
stick.
This is
going to
hurt.
Oh,
fuck.
This is
going to
hurt a
lot.
I am
going to
then,
I am
now going
to do
risky
surgery,
which should
auto-crit and
stuff like
that because
I just have
like a
bad-ass
thing with
assurance and
everything else.
Let's see if
he does it
right.
All right,
so there's
some technicality
with this
on how I'm
doing this,
so we have
to go by
the process,
right?
I first
do four
points of
damage to
you,
so you
will go
down and
be wounded
one.
So I
hurt you
to make
you go
unconscious.
So now
you'll be
dying one,
so now
when I
bring you
back,
you'll
be wounded
one,
but you've
been healed
48.
He's got
the defibrillator.
Wait.
Zorin.
Yes.
Hold on.
I might be a
genius.
I might be a
genius.
Thurston.
Oh,
wait,
she's done.
She didn't
die.
Never mind.
I'm not a
genius.
I'm stupid.
No,
I have that
system.
I can't
game the
system right
now.
Okay,
so what I
need you to
do,
Vina,
put yourself
at dying
one.
Yep.
because you
had three
HP left
and now I've
fucked you
up.
Yeah,
I'll click
the damage
button.
Now bring
yourself away
from dying.
I will hit
the apply
healing button.
Yeah,
apply healing
and now you've
been healed.
Unfortunately,
you're prone
to everything
now,
but you're
not going
to die
now.
Vina is
just face
down on
the ground,
just gives
him a
thumbs up
and thanks
man.
Now I'm
sorry that
was painful
Miss Vina,
but that's
okay.
Less painful
than getting
hit by a
dragon.
Usually when I
apply the
leeches,
they have to
kind of draw
a little blood
before they
find like the
messed up
flesh and
that dragon's
messing us
up.
We definitely
need to get
out of town
at this point.
You can have
this back.
I hand the
leech back to
him.
He puts
it in a
little pouch.
Oh,
little Gregory.
So that's
for that.
Gorgalmonger
is going to
basically rush
over here
near to the
hut and
in my turn.
Sorry about
that.
And there's
blood everywhere
on Ruhua.
He's covered
in it.
I am
covered in
gore.
That's his
favorite way
to be.
It's true.
That's actually
true.
It means
there's
fertile ground
for things
to grow.
It's
sometimes
it's
blood,
sometimes
it's
dirt.
It doesn't
matter.
Anarchy
doesn't
care.
Yeah.
Well,
all of my
other backup
plans hinged
upon me having
the foresight
to have not
moved in my
previous turn.
So instead,
I'll just
move up
here.
Sorry,
I don't want to
move back.
Oh,
hold on.
Do not
expend my full
movement.
Vita,
you're
further away.
Fuck,
here's a
second action
heal.
I'm going to
target you.
Thanks.
Here you go.
That's the best
heal in the game.
It's the best.
That's the best
heal in dual
monsters.
You're going to
heal for
65.
Yay.
I will
click the
button.
You're
transgender.
That's so
cool.
That's
poggers.
That's
awesome,
you.
I think
it was the end
of your turn.
That is.
I'm doing
shit and all
right now.
Now for the
Dargon.
Thanks,
guys.
Oh,
he's going
away.
He's leaving.
The dragon
flies
approximately
450 feet,
putting it
about 700
feet away
from
Tanhauser.
He's
outraged
in you.
Makes a lot
of sense.
Makes a lot
of sense.
Hold on a
second.
Oh,
you fucked
it up,
but you
also got
fucked up.
So how
far out
of range
is it
for me?
It's
currently
now
from you.
I think
you said
750.
50,
yeah,
so it's
going to
be,
50 plus
150,
200,
200 plus
four,
yeah,
yeah,
700,
yeah.
700,
eh?
And it
is definitely
continuing to
fly the fuck
away.
For ease
of reference
for right
now,
it is
going to
hug the
ground type
of a thing
and kind
of just
at that
angle,
it's just
going to
kind of
fucking
disappear
from your
line of
sight.
We are
out of
combat
at this
point.
Almost
got the
bastard.
I don't
know.
I don't
know how
close we
were to
getting
them.
Did you
see that?
Look at
the blood.
We almost
had him
and we'll
get him.
Most of
that blood
is ours,
Tadhauser.
Well,
I don't
tell the
difference.
Listen.
It's a
combination.
So long
as a creature
like that
is stalking
the skies,
this place
will not
be free.
Now we
know that
there is a
rot dragon
in our
midst.
We will
find this
creature,
track it
to its
lair,
and see
it destroyed
once and
for all.
Orrin's
father comes
out.
It's gone
to
abomination.
What was
that thing?
You don't
know?
This is the
first time you've
seen it around
these parts?
the dragons
in the
mountains are
rare,
but never
like that.
Okay,
I'm going to
ask you a
question that
might give
all of us a
bit of a
heart attack.
Have you
seen any
of the
other
dragons in
the mountains
recently?
Oh,
man,
you know,
that's a
great question
and one
that I
think we
will definitely
get more
into next
time.
Thank you
so much,
everybody.
Watching this
amazing episode
of Rock
Ryan,
where we
fight
Dargon,
get our
butt kicked,
but maybe
next coming up
episodes,
we'll find out
why it's here,
what's going
on,
everything else,
and try to
see if we
find any
solutions to
not fall
120 feet
of fighting
a dragon
midair.
Let's see
what we
can do.
But,
of course,
we all have
our amazing
players.
We got,
it's Odo,
and that's
me,
and it's
Hokey,
that's me,
and speaker,
and I'm
Zoran,
and we
have our
lovely
game master
Thurston.
Thank you.
Thank you
all so much
for watching.
Please support
the channel
over at
narrativedecloration.com
where you can
buy all sorts
of awesome
merch.
Check us
out on
Patreon to
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you're listening
to this,
possibly in the
far future,
you're going to
probably already
check it out
on YouTube
or so at
this point,
but Patreon
gets everything
super duper
early so you
guys can enjoy
that stuff.
So with that,
thank you guys
all so very much
for watching.
We'll see you
guys next time.
Zoran,
farewell,
bye-bye.
Everyone wants
to F for Hoorah.
Bye.
Bye.
Fuck you,
fuck you.
Everyone wants
to F for Hoorah.