Wholly Connected

In this episode of Wifey Wednesdays, Emily continues the series on what it means to wholly follow God by focusing on being wholly connected to Him. This conversation centers on the reality of struggling with consistency in prayer and finding grace in every season of spiritual growth.

Key components of the episode include:

Prayer Doesn’t Have to Be a Production

• Prayer is not about long, formal, perfect words
• Overcomplicating prayer can lead to paralysis
• God desires connection, not performance

“Pray Without Ceasing” Is Practical

• Connection can be moment-by-moment awareness of God
• Quick, heartfelt prayers matter (“Lord, help me”)
• We are always one moment away from connecting with Him

Both Short & Extended Prayer Matter

• Quick prayers sustain us throughout the day
• Intentional, longer prayer times help center and align our hearts
• We need both types for a healthy spiritual life

Letting Go of Control Through Prayer

• Prayer helps shift us from survival mode to surrender
• We are not in control—God is
• Trying to manage everything is exhausting and not our role
• Prayer allows us to hand over burdens and receive God’s rest

God’s Grace in Our Weakness

• God is patient, merciful, and understanding
• He does not shame us for inconsistent habits
• Even the disciples struggled and had to learn to pray
• God desires our hearts—not perfection

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Creators and Guests

Host

Emily Hatfield

Author, Podcaster, Ladies Speaker

What is Wifey Wednesdays?

Wifey Wednesdays: A show for women that focuses on the Titus 2 principle: learning to love our husband and our children, and being the keepers at home that God intends for us to be. Wifey Wednesdays, hosted by Emily Hatfield, is released every Wednesday.

Hello and welcome to Wifey Wednesdays, a podcast for women who are seeking to be the best wives they can be. I’m your host, Emily Hatfield, and this is the show where the plan is always to do things God’s way, especially our marriages.

On today’s episode, we’re continuing our series on what it means to wholly follow God, this week looking at what it means to be wholly connected to Him.

I’m gonna be honest with you, this is a struggle for me. Because of all the things there are about our walk with Christ, this may be the hardest for me to get a good handle on. How do we stay wholly connected to God through prayer, on a regular basis?

I go through seasons. Seasons where my prayers are regular and strong, and then other seasons where my prayers are sporadic or scattered. I want to talk to God, I know I need that connection, but I am either busy or distracted in my own mind once I begin, or devoted to something else — I may be fully engaged in my Bible study and spend a lot of time reading and meditating on His word and then just fail to talk to Him and converse with Him.

And I hate this about myself and about my routines and habits. And once that cycle of self-hatred begins, so does this guilt and nagging and it sends me into a deeper spiral of not really being able to stay wholly connected to God through prayer.

So how can we break out of that habit today? How can we find encouragement for our prayer life?

For me, I think I need to stop making prayer a production. Here’s what I mean — sometimes, I think my prayers need to be formal and long and all encompassing. I’ve used the Echo prayer app for a while (you know, in sporadic seasons) and I can become so overwhelmed because I have tons of prayers and tons of people and things to pray for and about, and then it’s like I become paralyzed by the sheer weight of all of it that I do nothing.

Staying wholly connected to God doesn’t mean that I have extended periods throughout my day where I’m devoting myself to prayer. There’s a reason there can be a verse that says “pray without ceasing” and that be something that’s doable — not that every single moment of our day we’re praying, but in every single moment of my day, I am a breath away from a connection with God. Our relationship is strong, and I know I can always go to Him. I know that He will always hear me when I call. I don’t have to start every moment by announcing how sorry I am that I’ve failed or fallen short of His glory, but I can have a feeling of freedom in my relationship with Him because I trust in His grace and mercy and forgiveness - I trust in the promise that as I’m walking in the light He’s continually cleansing me and so, I can come to Him and pray in any moment. And it’s not always an off by myself, desolate place to pray moment. Sometimes it’s a momentary, silent Nehemiah prayer that’s a “Lord help me” and then I continue on.

But it can’t just be that. I can’t just pray a quick petition in a time of need. My soul needs the connection with God that extended prayer provides. Talking with Him centers me. Talking with Him orients my heart to His desires and His direction for me.

I like to take whatever moments I may have in the car alone to pray out loud. Granted, those moments alone in the car are rare at this season of my life homeschooling elementary aged children, but still. In the moments that I can find, I want to just talk to Him. To hand over my burdens and my loads. Just this morning, I was asking Him to help me stop feeling like I had to be in control of things but to let Him have it. This season of life I’m in feels chaotic; life feels so busy and sometimes, that busyness makes me feel like I’m spiraling out of control and not actually accomplishing anything I want but instead am just barely making it in every arena.

Prayer — stopping for intentional moments with God — helps me to come out from under the weight of survival mode and come into the weightlessness of surrender.

I can’t control anything in my life. I am not promised another breath, or another of my children’s breath, or another moment with my husband, or another moment on this earth. I like to think I’m in control of all of those things. I like to spin all the wheels with all the things, seeking to control them all — all the variables of my household, I’d like to control those. But that’s exhausting. And that’s a God job, not a me job. And so, staying wholly connected to God through prayer lets me hand Him the jobs that are His and receive the rest He promises as we trade loads.

This is so hard. And I said at the beginning, I struggle deeply with this. Because there are so many seasons when prayer just seems to go to back burner. I may be really good at my Bible reading in this season, but not so much in constant prayer. I may be doing really well with one thing while completely neglecting something else.

Thanks be to God that He is patient and merciful, and He’s not sitting back and shaming us for our weakness. How many times did the disciples have to be reminded to pray? Jesus was patient with them; He knew their weakness and struggle, and He wanted to have them align their hearts with God — but it wasn’t natural to them. They have to ask Him - Lord, teach us to pray. And I feel that! Jesus, I don’t know what I’m doing! How is it that I, a weak and sinful human, am granted the extreme privilege to take my cares and anxieties to the very Maker of the universe? It feels like an honor I shouldn’t have! I want to! I need to! But sometimes the gravity and greatness of it is just overwhelming to the point of paralysis.

Again I say, thanks be to God that He is patient and merciful.

He is our Good Shepherd, and He is watching us and leading us and guiding us. And He sees us, even when we wander or are stubborn or are just flat out not listening. And He keeps encouraging us and leading us back to Him. And perhaps sometimes, we’re meant to be in seasons of struggle in certain areas while feeling a season of strength in another area.

I think being wholly connected to God isn’t just a prayer thing. I think that’s a component of it, but I think it’s more than that. I feel our connection when I’m studying about Him and His word. When He’s speaking to me through His inspired message, I feel a connection. That connection often leads me to prayer in different time periods of my day. It isn’t as much as I’d like, but the connection is still there on His side of teaching me and allowing me to learn from Him. I do wish the connection wasn’t as one sided in the conversation as it often is, but if it’s ever going to be one sided, I think I’d prefer to hear from Him more than He hears about me.

Now, I know that’s not necessarily His desire. He WANTS to hear from us - which is amazing. He longs for us to pray and to seek guidance and to cast cares on Him. He longs for us to speak with Him and commune with Him. But we cannot rely solely on our connection with Him through prayer to have that true connection — we need to hear from Him, too. And I don’t believe scripture teaches us that He’s going to respond in a still, small voice when we pray. Instead, we hear from Him through the word. So we must have a balance in our approach to this connection. But both are worthy endeavors.

So instead of guilting yourself into praying more, soak up the connection with God that you are able to in this season. When I had very small children, I did not have many moments in the day where I could read God’s word and study deeply - mostly because I was interrupted with someone’s needs or sticky hands I didn’t need ripping pages from my Bible. But I could listen to His word and I could meditate on songs from scripture. And I would retain my closeness and connectedness to God. Now, I have more moments in the early morning hours to study, because my children finally sleep through the night. Once they’re up and our day begins - I still don’t have a lot of moments for uninterrupted time, but I am drawing my closeness from His word and our time alone together in the mornings. Maybe you commute - and perhaps that might be a time you are able to pray and listen and be still with Him. I’m sure in any and every season, there’s a way we can seek God and a way He will allow us to find Him in a beneficial and soul-refilling way. He isn’t seeking to fill us with doubt and anxiety; He isn’t seeking to fill us with guilt or despair. Instead, as the Prince of Peace, He is seeking connection with us because He knows it’s for our good always.

Today, I hope we can find a moment to connect with God. We spend a lot of time connected to other people. We scroll endlessly on social media and connect with people from all over the world. We text nonstop to our friend groups or family members. Can we develop the discipline to connect with God? Can we pause for a moment of gratitude at meals, for a moment of joy to have another day with Him as the morning unfolds, to lay our anxieties at His feet at the end of a day that has been filled with endless amounts of information about the needs of others? May we stay in constant connection with Him, even if it isn’t that every moment there’s a prayer on our lips. But may our hearts feel connected to Him and His Spirit — may we feel His guidance in our decisions, may we feel a deep desire to connect to His word, and may we feel our out-of-control-ness as a blessing that leads us to the One in control of every single thing.

Connectedness to God can come in many different variations. And our Christian walk isn’t going to be identical to someone else’s. It isn’t going to look just like that instagram influencer with the perfect little 5 star amazon rated prayer journal…and that’s ok. Nehemiah’s quick prayer was heard. Esther’s days of fasting and prayer were heard. God both heard Jesus’ extended prayer of John 17 and His short, repetitive prayer in the garden. Most of all, God wants our hearts connected to Him - not just long and lengthy words or religious show-boating.

When the Pharisee and the sinner came to pray, the Pharisee wasn’t heard because he had regular practice of praying beautiful prayers…and the sinner wasn’t turned away because his prayer was likely a long time coming and was short and to the point. God looked at their hearts, and because His desire is connection - He heard the one reaching out to Him and He did not respond to the one who felt he deserved the connection to God instead of needed the connection to God.

I know this has been ramble-y and I’m sorry for that, but I just want to make sure that no one feels burdened by their inability to pray as much as they want to or to remain as connected to God as you know you probably should be. Instead, I want you to know today that God wants a connection with you and He’s made so many ways available to us as a grace and mercy. No doubt as our compassionate Father, He sees the burdens and cares and weights we carry, and He looks on us with gentle grace - extending Himself to us in various ways so that we can know His peace that passes understanding. Yes, He wants us to pray, but not out of guilt but out of gratitude for His availability to us. He wants us to study, not begrudgingly, but out of a desire to know Him more fully. He knows when those seasons are harder and when they are easier, and He never leaves or forsakes, even when we’re in a season of turning away or attempting it all on our own. He is always there, ready to listen, ready to share, ready to show Himself as our ever-present, Mighty God. May we open our hearts to Him and allow ourselves to be ready for connection with Him.

One of the things that helps recenter me every single week is God’s provision for worship. Gathering with His people helps me to refocus and reorient. May we each make it a priority to assemble this week to worship our worthy God. When we seek Him we will find Him. And the more we seek the more we will grow in our desire to seek. So if you’re longing for a deeper connection to God, just start seeking. Start reading. Start praying. It may be irregular, but I’m reminded that God can do great things with little faith — so if I’ll start with what little connectedness I feel or what little faith I have, He is more than able to fan into flame the desire I have for Him until it is a raging fire. Don’t be discouraged today if your prayer life isn’t what you want it to do. Don’t be discouraged if Bible study is hard or sporadic. Instead, know that God loves you and wants to be connected to you, and just start walking in His direction. He’s faithful to meet you there.

I hope that this hasn’t been too rambly, but, I am confident that God is able to be seen and known despite my feeble efforts to magnify Him. It’s the only reason I do a podcast, because if I thought it was about my ability then it would have floundered a long time ago.

So, we’re gonna wrap this up finally - you’re welcome - but I hope that you’ll join me next time as we discuss (hopefully more succinctly) what it means to be wholly pure.

Thanks for bearing with me and being with me today,and until next time remember - love God, love your husband.