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You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
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Speaker 1:Find out more by following us on social media or going to our website at youcanmentor.com. You can mentor. Alright. Welcome to the You Can Mentor podcast. This is Zach, and I am with my friend, Al.
Speaker 1:Al, say hi.
Speaker 2:Hi. How are you?
Speaker 1:Doing great today, Al. Thank you so much for taking time to hop on our podcast. Al is with Faithful Friends, Portland. So this is this might be our first guest all the way out on the West Coast. So congratulations, Al.
Speaker 2:Love to be here.
Speaker 1:Well, great. Al Nodarce, is the executive director of Faithful Friends in Portland, Oregon. After a career spent working in the business realm, Al came over and started to lead Faithful Friends. He was born and raised in Texas in a Spanish speaking household. And he and his wife and son lived in California be before moving over to Portland in 2007.
Speaker 1:Al has served on over 10 not for profit boards focused on helping youth and is excited to shift into trying to help kids in the not for profit world. Al's been mentoring for over 30 years, which is crazy. It's almost longer than I've been alive, Al.
Speaker 2:You're taking
Speaker 1:me crazy. He really believes firmly that most of the issues in society could be solved by way of mentoring. So, so, Al, thank you so much for hopping on. And if you could just kinda share with us a tad bit about you and your not for profit and how you guys got connected.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Thank you for reaching out. Absolutely. So I grew up in Texas, in, blue collar town, Texas City, Texas near Galveston. And, my dad's from Cuba.
Speaker 2:Mom's from Mexico. I'm 1st generation born here. So I I didn't even learn English till I was about 5 years old or so. And, but my father was a physician, still alive. Thank goodness he's 87 now.
Speaker 2:And, I remember when I finished college, I felt so privileged because my father paid for my college education that I wanted to give back. You know? So I joined big brothers and big sisters at the age of 24 and, was matched with a young man, young boy at the time, Freddie, who was 14. And at that time, I caught the bug. You know?
Speaker 2:I didn't realize that I was mainly wanting to give back, to someone who was not as fortunate as I was. And I know you don't appreciate know this, Zach, but what people don't realize is when you mentor, it's it's like an adrenaline rush. You know? It's just such a great feeling, and I didn't realize how what I was gonna feel about myself. And I feel like I got just as much, have not learned as much from Freddie as he did from me.
Speaker 2:So that started my passion, for nonprofits and mentoring, and Freddie and I I'm now 60. He's now 50. He's a very successful businessman, has 5 kids, and we still keep in touch. We don't talk every week, but at least a couple times a month. So it's been a lifelong, journey there.
Speaker 2:So as far as faithful friends, we were started by a gentleman by the name of Duncan Campbell, who's well known here on the West Coast. He also started 30 years ago a nonprofit that's a mentoring nonprofit called Friends of the Children, and they're in Texas. They're in about 20 different states. And I deal when when Duncan started Friends of the Children, he had a very unique model, because I've been part of Big Brothers and like us, most mentoring organizations have volunteer mentors. And what Duncan wanted to do is pay his mentors a salary, and that mentor would just watch 8 kids.
Speaker 2:You connect with them at kindergarten and stay with them all the way through high school, and they've had great, great success in that platform. But what Duncan wanted to do, what he didn't do 30 years ago, is he wanted to make this a faith based nonprofit. And he was told by everybody that just the fact that you're paying mentors and nobody's done this before, if you had that faith component, it's just too big of a step. So he basically waited 20 years and then he started us 11 years ago, and this has been where his passion has always been. He was a a Caucasian boy in North Portland.
Speaker 2:He would consider himself white trash. His parents were alcoholics, and there's this great TED talk that I could share, but but he basically had this epiphany when he was 4 years old, you know, that he wants to make a difference in kids' lives. So after he became successful in the business world, he sold his companies and he owned several nonprofits, and they all work with at risk youth about making a change and breaking that cycle of poverty.
Speaker 1:Man, Al, that's amazing story. What's it like trying to be a trying to mentor kids in the name of Jesus on the West Coast? I would assume it's a little bit, little bit different than here in Texas.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It really is because since I have so much family and friends there, it's like you could throw a rock in any direction, you know, and, find a church in Texas. And there there are plenty here, but it is different. But what we have found is that, you know, we have amazing partners, and all of our mentors come from the faith community. So they come from churches.
Speaker 2:So there's quite a few out there. And, you know, what we truly try to profess is, first of all, we're not legally spiritual or religious nonprofit. We're a regular 501c3. It just happens to use the mentors from the faith based community. But you have to, you know, right find that right shade of gray, if you will.
Speaker 2:What I try to teach people is that everlasting love of Christ is universal, you know, and it's just being there consistently, and that's what we share, with the mentees, families. Just like Big Brothers or Boys and Girls Club, I would say the majority of kids that we help are not part of a faith based community when they first start engaging with us. We ask our mentors not to proselytize, you know, that this is in God's hands and just let that relationship evolve over time, but we've seen some great success from that. So so it's not as challenging as you would think. I think it makes it easier for for us to focus on who to speak with because if we go to these community of faith, they get it immediately.
Speaker 2:And what I tell people is I feel the reason we're so successful, 71% of the kids that we match with an adult the 1st year, stick it out for the 2nd year, and and and we have kids who have been with us for 10 years. And I feel it's mainly because when I became a big brother with big brothers and sisters, it was more about giving back and making a difference. We're here at a calling. I mean, it really is. You know?
Speaker 2:So our mentors are just rooted and committed, to helping this child in their life, and I think that's a big part of why we've been so successful.
Speaker 1:So, Al, tell me what you guys look for in a church partner and in a mentor.
Speaker 2:Good question. So in a church partner, we have different sizes of churches. We have we don't have the big ones like Texas does with 10,020,000 people, like at the summit there, where the Rockets used to play, but but we still have some that are fairly large. But first of all, just like at any partner, you gotta have somebody who who really believes in the program. And, usually, if it's not, the pastor, you know, it could be one of the elders.
Speaker 2:But most churches, you know, they want to help youth. They've thought about creating programs on their own, and it's just a lot of work to scale something like that. So it it's almost like having a franchise. You know? We've got the cookbook already done, and all they have to do is engage with us, and we can help manage, that whole program.
Speaker 2:So what we mainly look for in our partner is somebody who is willing, to walk alongside with us, you know, and work together and is committed to making a difference in used lives. When it comes to I think the second part of the question is what we look for in a mentor. Is that correct?
Speaker 1:Uh-huh. Sure is.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And in a mentor, you know, it it's it's, again, you know, it's so much easier for us because we already have that faith root in common, and so it's already there. And it's just them wanting to make a difference. When we ask for a mentor to step forward, we just ask them to commit for 1 year. Ideally, of course, we want them to be here longer, but we just say, hey.
Speaker 2:Let's just try it for 1 year first. Don't feel like you've gotta commit for the rest of your life. And what we have found, and it's one of the things that is unique about us, is that we have, you know, mentors that, I I I when I became a mentor of Big Brothers, I was a Latino male, and they matched me with a Latino boy. And, typically, that's what folks look for, but we have found you might find a Caucasian man that is mentoring a African refugee boy. Okay?
Speaker 2:You'll find an Asian woman who is mentoring a Caucasian girl, and and it's that love of Christ that that is the common denominator. So it's really about finding the right skills and making sure the personalities and interests are similar. We also require that our mentors live within a 5 mile radius of where the mentee lives, because since our youth are at risk, sometimes the it's a single parent home 75% of the time. Typically, they only have one car. There might be some assistance in picking the kid up from school or doing something.
Speaker 2:So we want somebody to be really, really close, or if the kid, as long as it's safe, can walk to, the mentor's home. That's one of the reasons that we, you know, try to stick to that 5 mile radius.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Al. So I was taking a look at your website, and you guys have a 10 step process, in regards to trying to match up a mentor and a mentee. Mhmm. You just kinda spoke on the first one, which is, creating a church partnership. But there's a bunch of new steps that I haven't necessarily seen lots of not for profits that do, such as, such as a home visit.
Speaker 1:Do you think that you could share some more about that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. The home visit is very, very critical for a couple of reasons. And I was surprised when I was 24, even when I was with Big Brothers and Sisters, just how thorough, the visit was, you know, about my background and the the mentor and the mentee's house and so forth. But we wanna make sure it's a safe environment, for all legal and compliance issues, but we also wanna make sure it's a good fit too, because given that our kids are from at risk homes, a lot of them might have, you know, somebody in the family, you know, that may have some issues, whether it be drugs or whatever. We wanted to make sure that we know everything that we're getting into, not just for the safety of the child, but also on the mentor side too, just to make sure, you know, that that it's a safe and good match.
Speaker 1:What are some ways that you guys try to try to keep track of all the activities that the mentor and their mentee do?
Speaker 2:Yeah. We have a a program team, and each of them, is dedicated to 25 mentor slash mentees. And I will say that about 25% of our matches are not just a mentor and mentee. It'll be a mentee and a couple, which I think is really beautiful because, I don't know about you, but when I was a kid, there are certain things I'd go to dad about. There are certain things I'd go to mom about.
Speaker 2:And a lot of times, these kids have never seen a functional marriage or relationship. So they get 2 mentors, for the price of 1, if you will. But we have logs that the mentors, fill out. They meet weekly, for about an hour every week consistently, and they submit those to our program team, and our program team looks at them and reviews them. We reach out to the mentors.
Speaker 2:We have workshops. Matter of fact, tonight, we've got a special social event that we're doing just for our mentors, just to let you them know how much we appreciate them. And we do training, because a lot of folks are really skeptical when they first think about mentoring. They they you know, none of us are perfect, and we all think, gosh. You know?
Speaker 2:Am I really the right person? And what I love to share with people, and we have a scientific study that's been done by by by Harvard, that if you just spend 1 hour once a week consistently with a child, week in week out, that it actually costs society 7 times less than the alternate, which is early high school dropout, teen pregnancy, incarceration, and all those other things. So we're really, really thorough about making sure, you know, that we make that match because we wanna make a difference with the kids.
Speaker 1:Can, you please share with me just, like, what are some of the common issues that you might see with some of your mentors, and what are some ways that you guys kinda help support them?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we obviously can't get too granular, with a specific family, but some of the common things you know, first of all, just to share the 4 stats I like to share. You know, 80% of our kids are on lunch assist, so they're below the poverty line. 75% of our kids are in a single parent household.
Speaker 2:32% of our kids have had at least one of their parents incarcerated. And 25%, and mind you, these are 6 to 9 year old kids that we focus on, have already experienced homelessness. You know? So when you've already been dealt these 4 cards, you know, having somebody who is there and consistently, is really, really important. So if you just take the first couple, you know, first of all, poverty, you know, but that that's, it's tough to get out of that situation.
Speaker 2:And, you know, having resources that we can provide with our partners. We have a lot of different community partners that can provide different things, for the parents, so they can live comfortably. When we talk about single parenting, you know, it's so difficult. In most cases, it's a mom, you know, and and they have so much to juggle. I have this beautiful story I'll share.
Speaker 2:We just did an event at a horse ranch, called Echo Ranch. It's a faith based nonprofit, and it's in Happy Valley, which is just literally, like, 5 minutes away from a big Portland mall. So you just drive 5 miles east, and you're in a different world. You're out in the country, and you see this acres of farms, and these kids are painting horses, and they're riding on horses, and you've just seen them change and transform right in front of you. And the the beautiful story was there was a mother there.
Speaker 2:She has she she's 29 years old. She has a son who's the oldest. He's 9 years old. And then she has 2 daughters that are twins, and they're both 7 years old. And they're on the autism spectrum.
Speaker 2:My son's on the spectrum too, but fortunate for us, he's he's moderate, you know, where her 2 daughters are very, very, severely autistic. And then she had a baby that was 1 year old. And she said that that was the first time, and it brings tears to my eyes when I tell this story. First time in over a year that she's had all 4 of her kids together at one place, you know, like a park or something like that. So, you know, things that we take for granted, like, you know, going to the park, going to the beach, going downtown, getting some ice cream.
Speaker 2:A lot of these families don't don't get to experience that. You know? So we do a lot of different events, for the kids, Laika movie studios. The the the the Coraline movie and a lot of other movies, they're headquartered here. We just did a tour with the kids, you know, and we took them there.
Speaker 2:They got to meet some of the animators. They got to see the sets. And, you know, so we just try to surround them with all these different activities and events, to open their eyes because, you know, we're an hour away from the coast and we're an hour away from the mountains. But most of our kids have never been to the mountain. They've never been to the coast.
Speaker 2:You know? So it's just being able to share those experiences and and have them see more, you know, that they wouldn't have access to.
Speaker 1:So tell me how you decided to go from working in the business world to being the executive of a not for profit.
Speaker 2:Yeah. How did that happen? It's a great question, and and and there's no doubt that, that that God played a hand at that. You know? So I've been in the corporate world for over 30 years, and, I just I was 58 years old.
Speaker 2:3 of my buddies in Texas all lost their father, 2 years ago. It wasn't due to COVID, but it was during the COVID time. And my dad, you know, he retired as a doctor at 80. He's now 87, but I love to work. And I just remember talking to my wife.
Speaker 2:It's like, gosh. You know, life is so short, and I'm so tired of, you know, working for a corporation to contribute to the bottom line. I wanna do something more meaningful. And and I was spending about 10% of my time on nonprofit boards and 90% of my time in the corporate world, and I decided to flip flop that. And I said, I just wanna dedicate the rest of my life.
Speaker 2:And what really was a turning point was Artis Stevens. He's the CEO of Big Brothers and Big Sisters. I met him at an event here, and then about 2 weeks later, he was on CNBC, and he was talking about the 35,000 kids that are on the wait list. And sadly, 75% of those kids will never get matched. And it just breaks my heart.
Speaker 2:And I remember telling my wife, I was like, I cannot think of a single corporation that is more important than being able to make a difference in a kid's life. And even though we're smaller than big brothers and sisters, I'm an advocate, for mentoring. I feel like we all need mentors. So I just decided to dedicate my life, and it's like, this is what I'm gonna do the rest of my life. You know?
Speaker 2:I'm passionate about it, and I have a lot of connections in the business world. So we're finding ways to get corporate donations, do tours with the kids like we did with Laika, and just do other things to help expose the kids. But, what I tell people is I feel like I have this 35 pound backpack on my back, and I didn't know it was there because it's always good on my back. And then once I worked for a nonprofit, it was totally different, especially because it's mentoring and it's faith based. So I feel like this, you know, 6 year old waiting for the school bus for the 1st day of school.
Speaker 2:You know, I just can't wait. I can't sleep the night before. I'm excited, and and I just feel so blessed to to be a part of this organization and try to make a difference in kids' lives.
Speaker 1:That's awesome, Al. And you are a college professor. Right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I am. I teach at Portland State. So I I teach a sales class there. And there's some other marketing and business classes that I teach occasionally, but the the sales class is what I mainly teach there.
Speaker 1:Super cool. Is there anything that you have taken away from being being a mentor that kinda you have found works also whenever you're a professor?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I think so. You know, I mean, first of all, even though my students are, you know, 22, 23, I I still call them kids because my son's 23. And, you know, it's a quote from Dale Carnegie. He used to say, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care, and just being there for the students and really trying to help them and empathize.
Speaker 2:And that's what a mentor does. You know? We're just there. You know? I have this beautiful story, of a mentor mentee that been together for 8 years.
Speaker 2:And for the 1st 6 months that they were together, it was a Latino girl and, Caucasian mentor, and the little girl didn't say a thing. She did not say a single thing for 6 months. And the mentor was thinking about quitting because she felt like she wasn't making a difference. But every time she'd drop her off at the end of school, she would just hug her and not let go. So she knew she was making a difference.
Speaker 2:And now, you know, fast forward, she's 18 years old. She's graduating from a private Catholic school, with a 3.75 GPA. She has 12 colleges that have offered her scholarship and made a big, big difference. So it's just being there, being consistent, being present. And that's why I tell people being a mentor is not rocket science.
Speaker 2:You just have to be there. I remember when I was with Freddie, we'd hang out. I was out of college. I was broke. We'd go to Fuddruckers every Wednesday because kids eat free at Fuddruckers.
Speaker 2:And we just hang out, have a burger, and he'd tell me about his week. And sometimes that's all we do. But just being there, as I said, you know, consistently, you know, is 7 times less costly than going the other path.
Speaker 1:Man, it it's amazing what happens whenever you put an adult who loves a kid no matter what into a kid's life. And, I mean, for some kids, that's all that they need to become all that the Lord has for. It's amazing.
Speaker 2:It is. And then you think about it. I mean, if you're a mom like the one I described with 4 kids, you know, and she's trying to juggle a job, and 2 of her kids have special needs. It's so hard. You know?
Speaker 2:She's just barely keeping her head above the water. You know? And just being that person that's there consistently, you know, for that kid, can make all the difference in the world. I I saw it with Freddie. I mean, with Freddie, my little brother, there's a lot of reasons he's successful.
Speaker 2:I'm I'm I'm part of it, but there's many, many other pieces. But it makes a huge difference when they all of a sudden they see a path, and Freddie would come to our house on Sunday and have meals with our family. You know? He he grew up in a house that didn't have a landline. They'd have the power cut off, and all of a sudden, he sees somebody that looks just like me, and I could find this path.
Speaker 2:And and I call it the Roger Bannister effect. You know? People didn't think the 4 minute mile could be broken, and now there's over 1700 people who have broken in, including high school kids, because it it's all here in your head. You know? And and once you believe you can do that, the world's your limit.
Speaker 2:So that's what it's all about being a mentor, just being there consistently week in and week out.
Speaker 1:Now I also so most mentoring not for profits that I've seen kinda start with kids when they're older. You know, they start with them in 8th grade or start with them whenever they're, up in high school. But what I've seen with you guys is you guys start when they're 6 years old. Tell me why so early.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's a great question. So it started with, you know, Friends of the Children, which was started 30 years ago because they start at kindergarten, basically same age. And what they found and I saw this with Freddie when I connected with him, and he was 14, now he's 24. You know, when you're 14 years old, you're already kinda set in your ways.
Speaker 2:In some ways, you already have your friends, and you can still influence a kid. But when you're working with someone who's 6, you're really starting with a a fresh piece of mold of clay, and you can help form that and really build that trust over time. So that way, when you get to those teen years, if you've been matched with this kid for 6 or 7 years and they're 13, yeah, they're not gonna think you're cool. They're not gonna wanna talk to you as much, but that foundation and that trust and that love is there, and it makes a big, big difference. And that's the reason that we focus at such a young age because we just feel that you can make a much bigger difference in influence if you start early.
Speaker 2:And sometimes, you know, a a kid might only be matched for a year or 2, and they might move out of state or whatever, but that impact is still there. And and I even hear that from Freddie. You know, there'll be things that we did 30, 40 years ago that I thought meant nothing. And he says, you know, the time we did this or that, you know, it really meant something or reminded me of this. So you don't realize the seeds that you're planting when you're working with such young minds.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, Al, is there anything else that, you would care to share for some of our listeners?
Speaker 2:Well, I I think the main thing, you know, is and and folks that are listening to this podcast are obviously fans of mentoring, but what I like to plant the seed, and it's what I want in my gravestone, is the number 1. You know, just 1% of your time, which is 1 hour a week, can make a huge difference. And it's so much tougher for kids these days. You know? Whether it be social media, you know, there's just so many more obstacles, it seems, that are out there, but it's just tougher being, you know, growing up as a kid.
Speaker 2:And and and without challenge, if you're already a mentor, then think of 2 or 3 other people that you think could be a mentor, you know, in a kid's life. And I don't care if it's faithful friends or or big brothers and sisters or boys and girls club. It doesn't matter. You know? But if we really want to fix a lot of the issues in society, then we have to be there, and we got to be a part of the solution.
Speaker 2:And and mentoring is one of the big ones. And and, obviously, I'm a bit biased because we're faith based because I I know that we make a difference. But it's it's so desperately needed these days because these kids are just on TikTok. We have kids that are 7 years old that are on their phones at 5 o'clock in the morning, you know, playing with TikTok. I mean, that that should not be happening.
Speaker 2:You know? So so we need to be there for these kids, and and that's what we try to do is just share that love of Christ, you know, and be there consistently for them.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, Al, thank you so much for your time. And, can you please share with some people how they can find out more about your nonprofit?
Speaker 2:Yeah. Absolutely. So our website is faithfulfriendspdx.org. So faithfulfriendspdx dot org, and you can learn more about us. You can reach out to me or any of the staff members there.
Speaker 2:And, you know, I'm the kind of guy that I feel like when the tide goes up, all the boats rise. So even though we're just here in the Portland area, you know, we're more than happy to share our tricks and trades and what's worked, because we've had folks from Texas say, hey. Why don't you guys come out here? And we'd love to, but, you know, the the, our our basketball team, the the Portland Blazers, the stadium they play in, seats 22,000 people, and we have a video on our website that says you could fill that building. It's called the Moda Center.
Speaker 2:You could fill it 20 times with the number of kids that need venturing just here in Oregon. So we're staying focused here, but we're open to helping anybody who's wanting to start, a nonprofit or support kids because, the kids need it. They desperately need it.
Speaker 1:That's man, Al, thank you so much for your time today, and sure am, sure I'm thankful for you and for all that you guys are up to out in out in Portland, Oregon.
Speaker 2:Well, thanks, Zach. And I really appreciate you guys reaching out to us and helping us put the good word out.
Speaker 1:Yeah. For sure. Thank you so much for tuning in. If you like this episode, please be sure to share it with a friend or with your volunteers. And remember, you can mentor.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning in to the You Can Mentor podcast. Give us that 5 star rating and share this podcast with your mentoring friends. Learn more at youcanmentor.com. Thank you.