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In Ask Ashley, Founder, Thoughtleader and award-winning media personality Ashley Russo sits down with leaders who bring purpose and humanity to business.
Each episode explores how people navigate uncertainty, lead with empathy, and create meaningful change in their organizations and lives. Listeners gain practical insights on resilience, leadership, and financially confident decision-making amid disruption.
This podcast is brought to you by Ask Ashley. If you’re interested in building a confident, purpose-driven wealth plan, reach out to Ashley at ashley.russo@nm.com.
welcome to ask Ashley the podcast
where we shine a light on the unsung heroes
of the workplace
I'm your host Ashley Russo financial AI board member
thought leader and wealth management advisor
each week we sit down with inspiring leaders
exploring their journeys
motivations and the real challenges they face
from job insecurity to the evolving role of AI
in a world where many feel overlooked
these guests
are building hope and connection for their colleagues
join us as we uncover their stories
and discover how they're making a difference
one conversation at a time
hello everybody Ashley Russo here with Parker
who I know
we're all gonna walk away from this conversation
just feeling empowered and dare I say happy
he just brings joy
at least that's been my experience no pressure Parker
so with that Parker would you please introduce yourself
yeah I I feel honored with that introduction
so maybe I'll just run with that one
but I'm Parker Nielson I'm head of people
strategy
and operations at a company called Thoropass
and we do risk and compliance
but absolutely love people and growing organizations
and I always joke
I focus on the awkward teenage phase of a company
so that's a little bit about me
love that I love that well
Parker will you start with walking us through your
career path so far
so what inspired you to pursue tech
and the startup ecosystem
and how did you end up at your current company yeah
um how did I get into recruiting
first off like most luck is an answer
when I was young in my career
I simply just said yes to everything
I was one of the first people at a startup uh
they said hey who wants to help us open a new office
oh me right
and and it just kind of opened a door
a bunch of doors to a lot of opportunities
and as that company grew and and we exited
I I kind of sat and thought what do I do next
I realized
one of the things that I found the most joy in
is finding people who have raw potential or skill
maybe they just need help getting into the right place
and helping them get there
so that's what got me really excited about recruiting
um I first started at an agency called K Force
I then got recruited from a company called Wayfair
they were looking for someone to help grow their sales
organization I had some peers that went over to toast
so I went there and then one of my peers from
wayfair started her own agency
and she had throw passes a client
and reached out to me
when they were looking for someone to lead
their recruiting and people team
and so I'm so excited to be here today
and my network is kind of helped bridge those gaps
in between sounds like saying yes and being open
and available to the universe of possibility
and opportunities certainly was part of it
which is neat to hear it is
and I think it was great at the time
looking back
there's probably some things I should have said no to
uh but that's part of the learning lesson
right as we learn
and it it helped define who I am as a leader
and I know what I want to be
and I also know what I don't want to be
so yeah
equally as valuable equally as valuable
so can you share a key
turning point or challenge in your journey
that defined how you show up and approach leadership
hmm yeah
I I would say there's been a couple moments in my life
right it's never been one exact thing
but I would say one of the direct moments early on
is when I was a teenager in 16
I had a really rare tumor
called nodular fasciitis in my neck
and that's a lot right
I think when we're teenagers
we think we can take on the world
we can do anything nothing can hurt us
and to hear you know
I was the third case in the last 50 years
with this specific case
and it really makes you pause and reflect
and as I started looking around at other individuals
going through similar situations
I realized there's really only two choices
it's that simple you can give up or you can fight still
to this day
I've yet to meet someone that has had a tumor or cancer
or serious illness that gave up and lived
I have met people that fought till the very end
and I've met people that have fought
and made through it and
and so
I think that was one of the biggest takeaways for me
is if I even wanted a shot at winning
my only option was to fight and learn
and to push through and
and that's really carried into my personal life
hobbies and sports that I did as a kid and now as
as a career and a leader wow
that's powerful powerful
and I'm curious how has going through
how is going through that experience
those health challenges
how is that shown up in your professional life
how does that shape the leader that you are today
I think for me this is a great question
the world's not black and white right
and I think
we all look for the checkbox approach to life
and I know that's how our brains tend to work
it's tell me exactly what to do and how do I get there
and give me the check box to success
but it's always pivoting it's always changing
you never know what's gonna happen
and so it's really how do you pivot in those moments
how do you learn and grow
and more importantly
how do you appreciate those moments
cause they're what got you to where you are today yeah
that's a good
that's a good thing for all of us to hear
maybe something that we know
you know in
in theory
but to hear it and to remind ourselves of that
I know we've had previous conversations
and you also had potentially not the
the most traditional education approach
so
I'm curious if you'll share your journey around that
and how that's shaped your
your perspective and your approach as a leader
yeah um
it was something I was actually really embarrassed by
until I don't know
probably the last five years
is when I decided to be brave enough to speak up
but I dropped out of college not because I struggled
I in fact
I did really well
but the startup I was at just took over
some of the classes I took
I actually felt like I was getting
and just kind of wasting time
you know doing a
a checkbox and so
you know I
I just kind of joined the workforce and figured it out
and well I do believe that
that has defined who I am as a person today
and it's it's kind of a chip on my shoulder right
it's I know I don't have something that most people do
it's something that drives me
but the reason I didn't talk about it is
I also felt judged by it right
I especially when you're leading a team
and you have some phenomenal individuals that report
to you that went to Ivy League schools
or got this fantastic degree
and you're like my gosh
I didn't achieve that and it is a big accomplishment
and I think the thing that really stood out to me
I had a mentor who LED the e and I at Wayfair
and I was talking to her about this once and I was like
like how do I talk about this
even when I apply to a job
like I get automatically rejected
cause I don't have a bachelor's degree
and she's like Parker
if you feel this way
about something as silly as a piece of paper
how do you think people from minorities feel
of different backgrounds or colors or
or maybe a learning disability or right
like those are real problems
right that they can't control
and you could go back to school if you wanted to
and I think that's really what helped me get like
an aha moment into Dei specifically
is I'm embarrassed about something silly right
a piece of paper that says
I Learned something that
there's not even a recruiting
degree that I could have gotten in the first place
right it's not even in my profession
and it's really helped me
become more accepting of others
and understand that
we all have skeletons in our closets
or things that we feel ashamed of
and that we're our own worst critics
but it's nothing that we should be afraid of
or to hide and we need to be brave enough to speak up
another very very good message and whatever it is
I'm sure people have a million different examples of
fill in the blank is something that they
just feel embarrassed to say out loud
or think they'll be judged for
maybe they actually are judged for
but who's judging
skeletons do they have in their closet right
so I think it's a really good call out
you
you mentioned obviously diversity and I'm curious your
your current company operates in what
over 19 countries
which is incredible
that's an incredibly diverse workforce
uh
what have been some of the opportunities and challenges
when it comes to building connections in a global
virtual environment
fantastic question
one of the things we have at Thorough Pass
is a social committee and we have individuals from
all different teams within the organization
who we try to drive belonging
well we had a meeting last week
and I gave them a teaser
that I was gonna be on a podcast and
and talk about this and I asked
is there anything that you wish I brought here
that makes Thorough Pass different
and makes people feel belong
like they belong and everyone spoke up
but one individual spoke up specifically and was like
the thing about Thorough Pass is
I truly feel like I can be myself
and it's because it's not like an assigned task
it's something I truly want to do
and everyone else wants to do it too
and he shared a story that he was at a
an off site with a bunch of individuals
and they were doing a conference
and in most organizations
it's like I have to do this dinner
and I'm gonna be up from 7 till midnight
every single day he's like
but we all wanted to in fact is the meeting ended uh
or the conference would end
and we were going to dinner
they said hey
like this is what we're doing if you want to come
great if you don't great and it
it wasn't forced and it's
it sounds so silly that being genuine and caring
and just wanting to help other people
is the way to make that happen
so that's that's one thing from a more tactful version
I think when I first started
we tried to plan the big virtual events
how do we have a speaker talk about this
or how do we have this happen
and I remember when I joined the committee
I said what does good turnout look like
and like oh
most of these events we get like 20 to 30 people
a really good one we get forty
and that was something that they were our
our team was really proud of
and I said wait
20 people that's 10% of the company 40 people
that's a third of the company
so the best initiative and meetings
and moments that we were doing
we were only getting a third percent
a third of the people there
and a lot of it is in a virtual environment
we're busy we all work different time zones
we all have different life
I talk a lot about work life balance
and work life blend
and one of the things we realized is
our team loves Slack and so how do we find a better
more meaningful way
where people can engage on their own time
and so uh
things like International Family Day
hey today's International Family Day
everyone post a picture of your family
and it creates these moments of natural connection
where everyone can get involved
whether it's 1:00am my time or noon your time right
and it it really does create that space
for us all to come together
I love that
I love that and finding ways where it's again
genuine versus forced that's great
so I'm curious based off that
what role do these committees and ERGs play
in the company can you share a story
of a program or initiative
that had a meaningful impact
on the team yeah
I would say first off
doing something is better than nothing
so I highly recommend starting with the committee
starting with the organization
starting with the ERG
whatever it is to get that off the table
that is the best starting point
now can you teach people to be genuine and caring
and do it out of the goodness of their heart
not as much right
but you'll find those people with time
and that's something that really drives that
I would say
one of the things that I've done in my career is
specifically around minorities
there's a lot of organizations out there
that are trying to help minorities enter the workforce
specifically tech right
and so
these are great partnerships that you can work with
early on in your career
to help staff customer success roles
SDR roles right
entry level positions and it really
brings a different and unique perspective to your team
and your culture as you strategically start to target
non profits
that truly care about making a difference out there
so I know
that was kind of an ambiguous
way to answer your question
but happy to go deeper well
I'm gonna double click on potentially a heated topic
way so in this environment
right where there's a lot of energy and feeling around
even the word diversity or the word inclusion
and in this climate
how do you create that psychological safety
that that space where people
do you feel safe to bring their authentic selves yeah
I I think it starts with being vulnerable right
and it starts with being yourself
and not making that an awkward topic to talk about
I know that sounds silly and hard to do
and it's you know
I can't talk about you know
religion or politics or whatever around the
the dinner table
but then you're expected to do it at work uh
kind of seems seems backwards
but people genuinely assume positive intent
as you continue to listen
one of the best parts about working with a multi uh
country workforce is things are different
I mean I can't tell you how many meetings I join where
wait why did your president do this
or why is this happening in the US
like help me understand
here's how the rest of the world's seeing it
and I wouldn't have had those conversations
at previous organizations
that were solely US based
but because I have a team that truly accepts each other
wants to learn and grow and talk through it
I think that's one of the starting points
but it starts with a leader
being brave enough to approach that subject
and to have that conversation
with whoever they talk with
so if someone was feeling disconnected
because you clearly celebrate
obviously the authenticity and the genuine connection
I'm curious if someone felt disconnected or
or hesitant to speak up
how do you find the support for that person
yeah
um every person's different
and maybe that also talks to my leadership style there
there isn't one size fits all blanket statement that
you know what
here's the one thing that works with everybody
and even with my team I have some individuals
that I have great relationships with
but they need 24 hours to process anything right
especially feedback or or
or even positive things right
it's like they're
they're not good at thinking on the the fly
there's nothing wrong with that
it's how they learn
and I'm able to adapt to that as a leader of hey
here's the information
let's reconnect tomorrow to talk through a plan
I have other individuals that
if I were to share information
or have a conversation with
that's gonna be in their brain until it's resolved
right and so hey
I will stay on till midnight if that's what it takes
let's talk through this let's work through it
let's figure it out
and so I think that's to answer your question
Ashley right if someone doesn't feel like they belong
or that they can't fill that space
or that they don't feel safe
how do we create it right
I think the other thing is
if you wait till the moment of stress
you've already waited too long
and I think that's the other thing we forget
it's kind of like relationships right when you uh
talk to your friends and family about the boyfriend
girlfriend whoever
and you're telling them everything that's wrong
and they're like well then just leave and you're like
but I love them right
it's it's kind of that wrong moment right
and there's that heated stress
and you're already there and you're already frustrated
and then you have these two different perspectives
that don't see eye to eye
versus before that even began
helping someone understand that
you're always there for them
no matter what the situation is
so when we get to this crossroads
you have that relationship and that trust to navigate
and it sounds like you're really meeting people
where they're at I mean you're
you're talking to them in the language they understand
you know or you're helping them process
in the way that they understand
um I think that's
that's important imagine
you know how people's relationships would be
whether it's professional or personal
if we all adopted that mentality right
really
speaking to someone in a way that they can hear it
I think that's that's brilliant
in terms of your own influences
obviously you are a very self aware human
who then engages with other humans
to also maintain their own awareness
right in the world
so who are your mentors who do you follow in leadership
how do you have this perspective
ooh um
first off I am a middle child of 8
so I have a little bit of middle child syndrome
where I have to prove my way and define who I am
so so that's
that's part of it
but I would say from a mentor standpoint
I can think through my career of a handful of people
where you know what
I like this from you know
Courtney and I like this from Molly
and I like this from Millie and
and Dicken and and
and the names can continue
does that mean I like the whole bucket
or I want to be exactly like them
no right
but
I want to bring the best qualities of all the leaders
and people I've LED in the past
to kind of Frankenstein myself together
on that same note and I think where we started this
this call
I've also had leaders where I don't want to do that
and I don't want to be that kind of person
um and so
I've made intentional ways to not become that human
so as much as I would love to say
one day I want to be like X
one day I want to be me right
and that's something that I'm really pushing towards
and me is the best
of all of those people that I've met
throughout my life and my journey
and the people I'll meet to come
ooh I like
that's a mic drop moment
can we just stay on that for a second
that's great sure
thank you I mean
doesn't that give people permission to choose them and
and also you've had a journey right
you haven't
for one moment said that you had it all figured out
you said you've Learned along the way
and you're taking different pieces
and you're evolving and Frankenstein
you know this person together
which is great but it's you
and the version of you
that you are creating along the way
that you wanna be that's incredible
you know and actually I
I still haven't figured it out
and I think that's the other thing right
it's we we grow up our entire lives and they say well
Ashley what do you wanna be when you grow up
and you're expected to have this defined answer of
I wanna be a doctor or an astronaut right
I don't know what I wanna be
and I've very rarely
have met an adult
who actually has an answer to that question
but going back to where we started
I think sometimes we're afraid to admit that right
versus saying you know what
I don't know what I wanna be
but I know what makes me happy
I know what makes me feel valued
I know what I like to learn and grow
and as long as I do those things
I'm gonna feel fulfilled
and it's gonna get me to where I should be one day
it's again
such a beautiful sentiment
because I feel like
in this fast paced technology world
right in this
this perfect Instagram world
where people are supposed to just arrive at perfection
versus find their way towards their version of perfect
that's beautiful permission
I'd be curious what are some of the routines
habits things you practice regularly to stay grounded
you know both personally and professionally
especially when you spend your professional career
pouring into others what keeps you whole
yeah so I think the official word is omnivore
but don't quote me on that one
I am very extroverted at work
I am very not right in fact
I'm pretty silent outside of work right
and that's something that it's often strange to others
but I like my alone time
I like to go grab dinner by myself and just relax and
and you know I spend all day talking to people
sometimes the last thing I wanna do is talk
talk to people at the end of the day and
and that's okay I would say the one routine that I have
that I do every single morning is the way I get ready
my wife makes fun of me cause
I probably take longer to get ready than she does
and I have to do it the exact same
she's like well
can't you just like
shower and like throw on a shirt and get out the door
no I can't
I just feel like I'm you know
forgot to wear my watch right that day
and and it's just a very weird feeling
and so that's the one thing that I know
I can always start off the same
and then the rest of my day can be a roller coaster
on the topic of still growing and evolving though
I think one of the other things that again
I was ashamed by and just recently started to share
I tend to handle stress very well at work
and one of the things I'd noticed is
you know people often Parker
you're really level headed
you're talking through this
well then I'd bring that stress home
it doesn't help that I have a seven year old
a four year old and a two year old
who are chaotic
and wanting everything from dad all the time
and I started struggling with anxiety right
and although it didn't show up in my work life
it showed up in my life life
I think it took my wife two and a/2
3 years of constantly saying like
go talk to a doctor go talk to a doctor
go do this and talking about mental health
let alone men's mental health
no that doesn't exist
that's not real I'll tough through it
I'll figure it out
it wasn't until I was brave enough to finally go
seek help and how do I work through this
how do I talk through it it's still something I'm
obviously sensitive to talking about
but again if I'm too ashamed to talk about me
feeling stressed by a bunch of kids that scream
and yell and throw toys
everyone else feels that too right
it's just about being brave enough to bring it up
I wanna just commend your bravery for a second
and I I know someone listening will just breathe deeper
just from hearing that again
it's why do we put this pressure on ourselves
to not have these moments of
I gotta work on myself too
I need these moments this is stressful
I take on what's interesting in the leadership position
you're in is
you do have to stay so strong for everyone around you
you're a human too at the end of the day right
and the fact that you are a real person
with real life experiences
and a real family boy
how refreshing is that
and you're working on the things that you wanna work on
to make yourself feel more whole
that is a beautiful call to action
it's a beautiful call to action
um thank you
I wanna ask if you can design a fun question
if you could design a perfect
Ferris Bueller's Day Off for yourself
what would it look like um yeah
I'm curious yeah
sleep if that's a fair answer
I absolutely love sleeping
and so sleeping in waking up
having a cup of coffee and then taking a nap
and then waking up and going out to dinner
I know that sounds so simple
but isolation would be like my ideal dream day
maybe throw on like a massage or a spa package
and done deal
I think I want that exact fair spieler day off honestly
I think once you have kids
you realize how precious the morning is
and when you get that morning to yourself
all the cup of coffee
and just sitting and eating breakfast
you know yeah
I and then and then going back to sleep
I think that is a beautiful
every parent listening will be like
I want that day and I'm glad you threw in the
the spa
because that was what was missing originally from that
that equation that's perfect
of course always love a good massage
so we can't say no to that
so my final question
the question I always like to end with
with all of the wisdom
and knowledge and experience that you have
at this point if you can go back and say anything
to your younger self what would you say
yeah um
the silly answer that I could give is like
invest in like Amazon or Google or
or buy real estate
but I think one of the mantras that I live by now
that I wish I would have lived by earlier is
worst case tomorrow or worst case scenario
we won't do that again tomorrow right
I've Learned a lot of throughout my career
but most of those learnings are from mistakes
that I've made and even people that I've hurt right
as I've I've been a a leader and a manager
and even though my intent was good
sometimes delivery's bad and there's you know
it's a learning lesson
and I I think we all wish we could learn faster
I think we would all wish we could be perfect
out of the gates and
as soon as I figured out that
it's okay to make mistakes
it's okay to learn it's okay to be a failure
it's okay to be human
learn from it and just don't do it again
I mean everything became so much more easy
and I became way more grounded as an individual
and as a lead that is the official mic drop moment
there's been a few but that's the official one
Parker you are just a delight
I appreciate your honest real truthful approach in life
I know so many myself included
really appreciate your perspective
thank you for being here today
yeah thank you so much