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How to stop doubting yourself and trust the f**k up - a podcast about unbecoming all the things you thought you needed to be. Here’s to loving all parts of you & leaving NONE of you behind.
Fallon: [00:00:00] What I just wrote down is like life is always leading you, whether you realize it or not, you, if you listen to the internal and even external pulses. Because I think about like my journey and I'm like, man, I was always going to end up [00:01:00] here, but I didn't plan to end up here
Abby: Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know if I knew where I was going to end up. And I think, I think that's where it can be really interesting and where like our listeners can find, can kind of find themselves in our stories because I think a lot of it, a lot of times there's so much conditioning around us that we think we know what we want.
Abby: And, and that's why option, I feel like when you. When you kind of start out in the org, like going on a spiritual journey, it's always kind of a similar story of like, well, all of these things were like, going well, or, you know, whatever, I had all of these things that I thought I should want, or that I thought I did want, and then I got them, and then I was like, okay.
Abby: Still felt kind of empty or unfulfilled, or like there should be something else. And then you're kind of struggling [00:02:00] to be like, okay, well, what is it then? What am I supposed to be doing? Who am I? Who do I really want to be being in this world? You know?
Fallon: for me, gosh, it's funny. It brings up a lot. Like, as you're talking about that, it brings up a lot. I remember being really young, not even 20 and being introduced to this idea. I don't know, maybe in one of my college courses or I don't know what of introspection. And so immediately, and I've always been.
Fallon: You know, delving in the deep side of the mystic side of life and the unknowns of life. But mine really started with the interest, like, just I want to be more introspective. And I don't even think that I fully knew what that meant, but I understood the concept immediately, like, it resonated with me. And then I just started to watch my internal landscape. And so like, I would say that's like how I first started with the spiritual journey. And it's funny that you say, not funny, ha ha, but just interesting because the women that come to me now are [00:03:00] very much exactly what you say is like, I have all these things, but there's still this lot, there's a lot of fulfillment.
Fallon: There's a lack of connection. There's a lack of the feeling of my life. And
Abby: Yeah. It's like we've collected all of the things we've collected the, the husband or the boyfriend. We've collected the job, the good job that we thought we wanted to have. We've collected all of the things that like society has told us. Are the, the things that you have on your journey to a successful and happy life.
Abby: So then when you get to the point,
Fallon: keep going.
Abby: yeah, no, just when you get to that point and you have all those things, you're like, well, what's wrong with me that I'm not happy,
Fallon: Mm
Abby: you know?
Fallon: Especially as Women in our day and age, we've had so much liberty, well, more than we've ever had, but there's room to grow there, of course, to get the college degree, to get the certifications, to explore, to find out who we really are in the world, to [00:04:00] show up in our power, to exercise the rights that we finally have that we didn't for so long.
Fallon: And so then it's like, Oh, My pendulum swung so hard and it's not that I'm not proud of my accomplishments, but the accomplishments also oftentimes come from the trauma, you know, as we know, but not that they're that water should water them down at all. But yeah, and then it's like, who, who do you, who do you really want to be?
Fallon: And who are you being? And can you connect to the deeper parts of you? And that's where you and I shine so much in. What we do in coaching, which when I started first life coaching, I didn't even know that it was a thing. I had, I had no idea. I just, I think on some level I had always coached because I was a fitness coach for so long and a CrossFit coach.
Fallon: And you naturally just, you naturally are coaching emotions. And mindset blocks and all of that when you're in that arena. And then I shifted into, you know, creating a course, a spiritual course, cause I was kind of [00:05:00] coming out of the spiritual closet that I'd been in for so long. Cause I thought people would just think I was too weird.
Fallon: And then I was like, Oh, there's a whole world of like life coaching as a thing. I had no, and this is 2017, 18. So funny.
Abby: and listeners today we thought we would talk about, we kind of dove right in, but we wanted to talk about. Our journeys of how we found ourselves here, how we got started on our own spiritual journeys, how that led us into coaching and similar to you, Fallon. It's funny because when I think back, you know, when I was younger, you know, when you were, I don't know, in grade school maybe, and there were like email chains and there, and it was like questions.
Abby: It's almost like on Instagram, we have the Instagram stories and it's like this or that, you know, but there were like the email chains and it was like, who, Like, what is your favorite thing to do? What is your favorite, like, who's your friend that you like to [00:06:00] talk about life with or something? And I remember all my friends sent to me, like Abby is my favorite, like, friend to talk about life with.
Fallon: of
Abby: And I think, I know, and I think back on that now, and I'm like, of course, like I was always meant to end up here, but, and when I was in college, I got a degree in social anthropology, because I was like, I want to know, like, why people do the things that they do, why in the decisions that they've made, what in culture and society has like, shaped us to be who we are.
Abby: And so, of course, I'm like, at the time, I was like, this feels so, like, right to me, but then. Back in 2009 when I graduated. It's like, what am I gonna do with that? You know?
Fallon: We graduated in 2009 too. So did I.
Abby: yeah,
Fallon: Yeah, mine was in journalism and I was like, and they were like, the bubble was popping and I was like, cool, same thing. Well, what am I, what am I going to do with this degree? I'm so glad I got it, but.
Abby: I know. Loved it. Loved all my classes. And, and like that's the other thing too, [00:07:00] like I remember one of my favorite classes was, um, was women in, it was like. The female studying females in, um, in Africa and like how they, how they deal with like childbirth and fertility and all of like the ancient kind of wisdom that exists in different tribal cultures.
Abby: And then, of course, you know, I got my dual certification last year because that was the 1st. I just remember being so drawn to that of like. Wow. We actually do like our bodies do know, and we can trust ourselves to have this like innate wisdom of how to give birth because we've been doing it for literally forever.
Fallon: Yeah. And with everything that, you know, I was just at a meditation for my group, the deep end, they get, um, private audios and meditation and visualizations and coaching. And, and I just did that of, of guiding them through like really trusting the wisdom of the body. That it actually holds so much more because, you know, so many women that come to me and even men are [00:08:00] just so stuck in the head.
Fallon: And so it's like, yes, like, I love that you got to take that course because it's so around just who you are in general. Like, you're so good at helping people birth ideas and birth, you know, and trusting the wisdom of their body, not only just in birth, but all of the ways in which birth actually shows up for us. Yeah.
Abby: And I was just going to say very similar to what I talked about in the beginning, like for me coming into this, into this iteration of myself into and starting coaching a, yeah, had no idea like that you could actually do this for real, you know, quote unquote for real. Yeah. Yeah. And I started off as a life or as a health coach, actually. Um, and I got a certification. It all was the same thing. Like I was living in Chicago. I was, and this is another thing too. Oftentimes we find, especially with women, and I'd be curious. I don't work with many men, so I'm not sure. But, [00:09:00] you know, often around like our Saturn return, which is usually like, you know, you're 27, 28, like around like your 30 years of age, and you start questioning, Who am I?
Abby: Oh, what do I actually want? And oftentimes you make big life changes at that time. Or you can, or you can feel like life changes might be necessary to kind of put you on the path that you actually want to be on. And that happened a lot for me. Um, I was in a relationship that. I intuitively knew it was not the right one, but I, you know, the Taurus and me, the very stubborn part was like, no, we're going to stick this out because I've like made this decision and this is going to be the thing, you know, and oh no,
Fallon: Oh,
Abby: not the thing.
Fallon: so early. I'm going to, I made this, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna stay in this.
Abby: I'm going to do it. I've already decided and I've decided, so here we are. Um, yeah. And I, it's like all of the things crumbled at the same time, you know, I had, well, [00:10:00] crumbled and bloomed. I would say I had a really amazing opportunity. To move to California for a job. And it was just, and I actually got offered, offered to do that the summer before.
Abby: So this was the following summer when I was like on the cusp of So it was like the October before I turned 30, I moved to California and I didn't leave the relationship, but I, it was kind of exiting, you know, slowly over time. And There were a lot of things that happened, but basically everything was like you that like made me question.
Abby: Okay, who do I want to be? What kind of relationship do I actually want to be having? What do I actually want out of life? Et cetera, et cetera. All the things we ask ourselves and everything's kind of blowing up and, um, or just feels wrong. Everything just felt like, like being here felt [00:11:00] right. Being in California felt right.
Abby: And I felt so free and so like myself. And just like, okay, I can now decide and chart a new course. And that's when I started looking into coaching and seeing if that could be, be a thing. And so I started health coaching and got my certification and I met, you know, Amy who we've had on the pod Jenny who, I don't think she's, she hasn't been on the pod, but I know I've talked about her a lot and so many other good friends.
Abby: And then of course, coaching also led me to Fallon, a mastermind that I met Fallon in. All of the best people came from coaching.
Fallon: Yeah, you know, and it's, yes, and life is,
Abby: feeling
Fallon: is always leading if you can just pause and listen, but there's all these little pockets. So for me, I would say, you know, it took me a little while longer, Abby, than it did you, uh, although it was always a woman of my work. I really recognize there was a, [00:12:00] there was a time back in like right after I graduated college, 20, 2009, 2010 had a huge spiritual awakening.
Fallon: I felt like a freaking newborn baby, like all the colors were brighter and it was just like such a cool experience. So I was really great on my work for a while and living in, it's funny because I was living just a couple hours from here, from Pensacola in Niceville, Florida. And Writing, um, a proposal writer for an engineering firm and did it also like freelance and, and then I kind of got off it.
Fallon: I don't know. I don't know really what happened. I ended up going through divorce and same thing was like, I kind of knew a year into the marriage. Uh, I was like, Oh, this is, this is, I don't think this is the thing, but I was like, you bitch, you made your bed and now laying it. You decided to move quickly with the man and marry him and move across the country.
Fallon: You're just going to stick this one out. Um, But anyways, so I kind of noticed, like, I feel like in a weird way, I got off track because I [00:13:00] wasn't like meditating or journaling as much as I had been for so long, but it will always come back. And it's interesting that we're talking about this because I, when I hopped on this, y'all, I didn't know what we were talking about.
Fallon: Abby told me what we were talking about, um, which I was like, Oh my God, that's amazing. I was remembering the other day. It actually, I think it was yesterday that it was right around, right after I had my daughter. And I remember dropping deep back into my spirituality, like dropped in deep, and I remember feeling so bad, like, why did I stop doing this?
Fallon: And I remember sitting in meditation, and I could feel my guides, and I could feel my angels, and they said, don't worry, we're gonna catch you up. And holy shit, they did. Like, life did. It was like everything that I had, I think on some level, we intuitively, We don't know it, but we're, we haven't, we're having to pause certain things in our life so that we can actually deal with the reality.
Fallon: But in then in that time being caught up, my relationship with my daughter's father was quickly failing, but I [00:14:00] was really more vocal. Like there was so much growth that had happened for myself in that time. And then I was also coaching other people, you know, I owned a CrossFit gym with him and I was, so as I was going through my own deep shadow work of like, okay.
Fallon: If this is happening again, what role do I play in this? Like if there's no excuse for abuse. And so I will say that. And. I would never have been available for what was happening if there wasn't parts of me that, you know, weren't healed. And so, for me, the work really brought me in, like, brought me deeper very quickly.
Fallon: And then I started to see it show up in the way that I was coaching. And I could just feel that people that were coming to my CrossFit gym, You know, I was like, well, I think you might be carrying weight because it's emotional, like, because I, it's all of a sudden, like, all the gifts that I had forgotten that I had that I had were like amplified all of a sudden, I'm like walking around again and I can feel the energy of the room and I can [00:15:00] feel people's traumas.
Fallon: And I, it was like, I always say, um, emotions are really loud for me. It's like a, it's like a literal speaker for, for my system. So it was amazing because it was like the deeper I took myself, Then it started to translate into my clients. And then from, from that space, it was like, it was just a natural progression for me to create another business.
Fallon: and create this course. Flourish and Flow was my first course. Shout out to my OGers. Um, it was a really successful course and it was all about just building your spiritual practice and, and, and doing the work that I had just got done doing. And it was really amazing. And then it grew into what's so funny is now, you know, I coach businesses and even that like life will always lead you.
Fallon: It was like the work that I was doing with clients and I've talked about this before. So I'm not going to go too deep into it. I had a client that was like, well, will you teach my team this? And it's just, I just also want to say, like, always say yes. Like say yes. Like if something's coming in for, I mean, check with your human design, [00:16:00] but. If I would have been like, Oh no, I'm not ready. I've never done that before. I could, I wouldn't have lost out on the most amazing experiences that I've had. And this really incredible, I don't even know what you call like program modality that I've built for businesses, team synergy days and, and being on retainer is like a holistic HR, I could have never saw that coming.
Fallon: But because I'm willing to follow the pulses and the next things of life. And I was willing to say yes to something I had never done, but knew I'll figure it out. And I'll create it because what I was creating was already stuff that I was doing. I was just kind of shifting and moving it into a different realm, a different space.
Fallon: So really trust, like, trust yourself in your journey that You don't have to see, especially if you're a manifesting generator and an emotional authority, you don't have to see the 10 next steps to feel like, okay, I got this. If you can just feel like this is, this [00:17:00] is the, yeah, let me just explore this. Let me say yes to this.
Fallon: There's so much in it for you.
Abby: I think there might be something else then Like you're saying, let that lead you, let that guide you. That's your intuition trying to point you in the right direction. And like, Shout out back to the first episode and what we've named to this podcast. I saw the sign because you can always ask for guidance.
Abby: You can always ask, like, should I, is there something else I meant to be doing? Or is there something, is there a different path that I should be taking? Or if you have something more specific than that, if you don't know what you want, then you can ask something like that or ask just to be guided to the next right thing for you.
Abby: Pick your sign and let the universe, let your angels, your [00:18:00] guides show them, show you the signs either way and kind of point you to where you want to be going.
Fallon: My, one of my favorites is I often say, God, have your way with me. Like I'll get out of the way. I'll do my best to get out of the way. Cause there's going to be parts of me that are going to get in the way. But have your way with me if, if, if I need to pivot, if I need to, if, if I am kind of the dancer and you're the choreographer, then show me, like, where do, where am I most meant to serve, but also where am I most meant to receive?
Fallon: And, and I get this a lot too, and I used to feel this, is like people feel this call. It's like, I can feel this call, like this call. I remember in my twenties, I used to say, I feel like something out there is literally calling my name and it always makes me think of that roomie quote, like what you seek is seeking you.
Fallon: And I never knew what it was. And it would like almost sometimes drive me crazy because it was so visceral, I could just feel my name being called. And [00:19:00] if you feel that, just trust it. It, it, just, just keep, just trust that it's there. You don't know, it's okay that you don't know what it even means or what it is even speaking to you.
Fallon: But that the call is because life is working with you, God, universe, angels. is, is guiding you, is supporting you. And like Abby said, the signs are really powerful. You don't have to ask for them, but they're comforting and they're validating and they're fun.
Abby: They are fun. You know, I'm going to share a story really quick because, um, speaking of signs, but this, what happened with my, uh, my grandma last week, which my grandma passed away. Um, Right before my due date last year when I was going to give birth to Alice and it was really sad and we were very close and I was, you know, always found that she just never got to meet him, at least here, you know, in the physical world.
Abby: And, um, so last Sunday, I was thinking about her a lot because [00:20:00] that was the 1 year anniversary of the day that she passed. And so I was thinking about her and just, you know, asking kind of to, you know, Get some sort of connection with her, some sign and the next day, the next day I was playing a, a song or no, I was playing a video of Miss Rachel feel for Ellis while I was trying to do the dishes.
Abby: I was like, he needs to be occupied for like 20 minutes, but I can get a few things done and he was watching this video and it was a video we hadn't watched before on YouTube. And. And I just heard this song start playing out of nowhere and I like whiffed my head around and it was this old song and it was just playing on the piano.
Abby: It's the song called Ain't She Sweet. My grandma used to play it every time she played the piano. Like, and it was just, and it's funny because I actually have never heard, I mean, I have probably, but she used to sing it. But like, I've never heard it like with words or like with any other instrument. It's always, it was always just like instrumental on the piano [00:21:00] because she was a piano player.
Abby: It's So that's how I always heard it. And this is how it was. It was just instrumental. Just a piano, somebody playing it on the piano, like very bluesy, and that's how she would always play it. So it sounded like she was playing it for me and playing it for Ellis. And it's just one of those moments where you can trust like, yeah, she was like, Hey, I'm here.
Abby: And I'm, you know, I'm here. And we're always, I'm always around. I'm always with you. I'm always with Ellis. And it just felt really special. No. Yeah.
Fallon: it's so special and Emory sent me that video and it's so specific. It's like, that's not like here on the right. It's not like a song that you're just gonna all the time. Like you've never, I don't even think I've ever heard the song. And so it just felt so specific and so supportive, you know, and so magical, like be, be willing to let the magic really touch you in life.
Abby: that's what I was going to say earlier. Not like that specifically, but just like stay open, stay open and be willing to [00:22:00] see what might feel a little bit, I don't know, a little bit crazy or a little bit like, oh, that, that won't happen. But like, what if it did happen? And I think, and I think everybody listening has probably had at least one of those moments where you're like, okay, that wasn't a coincidence.
Abby: Like, you know, logic, logical brain is going to try to say that this was a coincidence or try to rationalize how that could have happened or how anything, you know, like when signs show up or when it's weird, just moments of deja vu or coincidence happen. not, it's a little, it's a little angel wink or a little loved one saying hi, or just, you know, God telling you, we got you.
Abby: You're going, you're going the right way. You're on the right path.
Fallon: and the obstacles in the path are the path that's also a part of it and it's sharpening you and support, you know, even obstacles or they're just making you more of who you've asked to become and who you've prayed to become. We don't become, you know, [00:23:00] like the, the water, the rocks don't become. Beautiful sculptures without some pressure and water and storms.
Fallon: And
Abby: Yeah. The waves come crashing up against it to smooth out all the edges.
Fallon: so if you feel like you've got these obstacles happening, remember, Oh, this is also the path that I'm on the path. Who do I want to be in these obstacles? And the last thing I want to say from, for me is life leaves breadcrumbs. I remember noticing this in like my early thirties. I'm like, holy crap.
Fallon: Life was always, life was always kind of breadcrumbing me exactly. It's like, you can, you can't see the connection of the breadcrumbs until you see the connection of the breadcrumb. Yeah. You don't know that they're there. Exactly. Just like with in real life, like you're not gonna see the breadcrumbs until the breadcrumbs are there.
Fallon: But look back at your breadcrumbs now. Where were you always being guided and led and where did the breadcrumbs take you? And then for me that always, when I'm feeling a lack of trust or lack of faith, I'm like, okay. Okay. But. I have all the evidence [00:24:00] before me of the breadcrumbs before, so I know that that's still happening now.
Abby: Yes. Yeah. I love that. I love that as kind of a last, um, a less ending piece in this episode of just notice where you, where you've been led this whole time. Because that's one of, I think, the biggest misses that we can, can commit as human beings when you're on this kind of a journey is just not having to celebrate your wins and celebrate like every step that you've taken along the way that's led you to where you are now.
Abby: And looking back and seeing like, Oh, I have actually been listening to my intuition. Like, and maybe now you can lean into it even more deeply, but there's always been a part of you. That has been listening the whole time and so just, you know, stopping to kind of look back and celebrate yourself for all of the, the nudges that you followed and the trust that you've had in yourself this whole time, even if [00:25:00] sometimes it doesn't feel like it.
Fallon: Yeah, I love that because we can be so hard on ourselves and only focus on what we thought we missed. And it's like, well, also, but you didn't, there's so much that you didn't. So I love that. And we have one more episode of the season two before season two wraps. So
Abby: heading into fall. It's almost fall.
Fallon: almost fall y'all, that's what we say in the South.
Abby: Yes. Oh, I can't wait. Spooky season coming up.
Fallon: Yeah, we have a little bit while longer in Florida, but I mean, it's still gonna be spooky season, but it's just gonna be hot.
Abby: It'll be a hot,
Fallon: it's not uncommon to be sweating in your Halloween costume where I live. Um, whereas when I came home from, or when I'm from Utah, I would always kind of remember like it would always snow on Halloween would be the first snow of the year.
Fallon: So,
Abby: It always rains. It's like always like really rainy, windy.
Fallon: yeah,
Abby: By Halloween here. Yeah. [00:26:00] We love you. One last episode.
Fallon: we did not plan that. We're so in sync.
Abby: I
Fallon: Let us know if there's something that you want us to really focus on in our last episode. Let us know, post, share this, tag Abby and I, and we'll see you next.
Abby: Tell us about your journey.
Fallon: Yeah.
Abby: Yeah. We'd love to hear about it. In the meantime, have a great week. We'll talk to you soon.