Cinema PSYOPS

Godzilla, Mothra and Mechagodzilla threaten to turn Tokyo into toothpicks in an all-out battle for supremacy.

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Creators and Guests

Host

Cort PSYOPS

Podcaster, Horror SuperFreak, Obsessive Movie collector, amateur bass slapper, guitarist, full-stack developer, and low key mad scientist.

What is Cinema PSYOPS?

Cinema PSYOPS is a weekly film review podcast where we experiment on an impressionable mind to find out why physical wounds heal, but Cinematic ones don't.

Waste it

And welcome to whatever number of cinema psyops in our filler time series.

I am joined with my co-host Matt! I'm making a healthy

List for the grocery store. And sending it to me instead of your wife. Yes. But I would have got that stuff if you needed me. Yeah, I know, I know. I know. I know. I'm just like I said, we were talking off I'm just glad I didn't send you the dick pic meant for my wife.

Weird you're taking dick pics at my house, but also I think that's just how you say hello to her.

I'm glad that you guys have that as a love language'cause other people consider that assault. Yeah, well yeah, no, no. I I have her permission to do so. I

I I don't do that without consent. Yeah, always do that kind of stuff, but with consent. Always consent. Listen, wait for them to ask to see the dick pic and then you send it. You know? That's all I'm saying.

And if they never asked to see it, then you don't need to send it, fellas. There you go. That's your PSA for the day.

One would think that that is just common sense, but apparently not. It's not. No. It's I don't believe it is. Yeah.

Makes me sad. For the horror stories I hear for women. Like Yeah, sorry about that, ladies, just in general. Sorry guys.

Wow. Sorry. Now that we brought everybody down, let's actually talk about what we're gonna be talking about. Yes, Godzilla's sending dick pics to Mothra. Um, maybe in this one. We'll see. Yeah, I guess. Yeah. Mothra's in this, Godzilla's in this. Uh

The mecha godzilla that they try to call Kiru comes back in this. Oh, does he? Yeah. So dad and son meet because son's been sent to dick pits to Mothra and so dad has to do something about it.

I mean in your headcanon, sure. Okay. I don't think that that's what we're gonna get. No, but that's where I like to live, is in my own headcanon. Yeah, that's fine. But I what we got is the same uh Sony releases that came out in the wake of the twenty fourteen American Godzilla film. Mm-hmm.

That this film is taken from. We are currently going to watch Tokyo SOS or Godzilla Tokyo SOS from 2003. We're ready to go in three, two, one, click.

It's weird to say click as you click. As you click? It's like your hellboy calling out your punches going bam blamo.

In the Hellboy comics, Hellboy actually does say that. It's him saying it instead of the bubbles, but he's saying it as he's hitting. It's hilarious.

Toho Company.

Everything's okay. Yeah, they made a computer out of Godzilla DNA. What did they think was gonna happen? But everything's okay.

There he is.

They chromed him out in this one.

Now we're deep sea in the central Pacific, Matt. Ooh.

Ah, there's Godzilla.

Uh oh.

He's like, what the fuck?

Remember when they shot me in the chest? That ship's bullshit. Yeah, they burned a big ass hole in his chest too.

Trying to wreck my digs. What are they doing?

Now we're in a Air Force base in Hawaii.

Intercepted unidentified target. Whose missile?

Yeah, it's a cruise missile, you fucking idiot. Orange alert. Unidentified target picked up on radar. All units stand by to intercept target. A UFO is heading for Japan. The target is now Entering the southern air defense zone presently heading north off Iwo Jima.

Launch the ships.

From Hiakuri Air Base. Any visuals? Yes, sir. Coming up.

Blue one, what's your status? Blue one, right now.

Really interesting commentary we're doing right now. Yeah, I know, right? What do we talk about though? Yeah, there's nothing to talk about. We've got planes. I mean at some point

We're just gonna say something horrific. Already have. I mean yeah, approaching. Now entering airspace. We talked about dick pics to start the show. I mean where else we go from here? It's all downhill from here for sure.

I mean it started pretty much downhill, but we'll find a lower point in this valley.

Roger blue line copy. Yeah, but this is how they bring Mothra in, because she's right there. You can see her.

They just had her in the silhouette of the clouds. Well it doesn't help that I'm having a snack and you're on your phone. Yeah, well I'm doing something real quick.

Yeah, you're sending me your next broadcade list. Yes. And trying to choose the right dick pic for you. Target's still on court.

You're about to get a Mothra appearance. Oh fucking A. Hey, you're singing. Singing?

That's all they need to do. Just your imagination, blue one. They're singing. Oh we did we get the twins? I don't honestly remember. Oh.

Mathra I think you end up getting a hint of twins like where they show two women together that are identical but I don't think we get the little mini twins singing in this one unfortunately.

Yeah, but that could just be a mothra projecting something into their head. I don't know.

Lock on. Eagle 20. Fox 2. Oh, Mothra é assim, get the fuck out of here with your bullshit.

Here have some fucking

Target has disappeared. We've lost the reason. This mother's defense is to cast off Angel Dust. I'm so high right now.

Damn everyone, I didn't know you like to get wet.

Is that what that's called? Okay. Damn man, I didn't know you like

That's funny.

I've seen that movie once. Me too. But it was a good movie.

Bleak as fuck, but still a good movie.

As we reported in our earlier house, man. Yeah. This is a very nice house. Mecca Godzilla is still under repair and is not.

Here's a clip moment. This is Koji Nakamoto at Yokosuka Navy Base. This F1. There's our super smart kid that's gonna be around.

Now it's getting a bit long in the tooth, unfortunately.

I'm getting loser unc uncle energy out of this guy. Yeah man, this guy really loves his model plates. Total loser my uncle yep. He really likes that fuselage if you know what I mean.

There'll probably never be another one like this. Hey, a Mecca G? Mecca G?

Hm That's a good machine too.

Great! Finished! That's great! I'll show it to Grandpa!

I don't have time for toys. Huh?

Uh oh.

I think this is a classic uh actor from the classic era Godzilla making a cameo too. I think so. When the book came down it's kinda like you know Supposed to be a reveal.

Mr. Choo James. I would totally want to live here. This woodwork is gorgeous. It's gotta be one of the twins! Okay, so they are in this cool. Sorry I tried to deceive you. Yeah, we got we got the twins. Hey!

Alright I like my moth robe with twins.

And I like my twins with cute ears. God Jesus Christ. I love talking like that just to creep you out now.

Well all right, tell tell me Cort, do you think the guy cute ears?

Incredible. Tell me, am I dreaming? No, you're not dreaming.

The Mothra twins are always adorable. They really are. Yeah.

Uncle! Are you okay? Oh god. But uncle, who who are those girls?

Don't worry.

They're old acquaintances.

So you do remember us, sir? Well, naturally.

I forgot to make my drink before I came down here for the commentators.

I knew it was a classic cameo. Yeah. This here is my grandson.

I say that like I haven't watched this like at least twelve times. And that's my nephew who's

Right around the uh age of hormones batterying into his head, so and he's been building monoplanes. So you two showed up is probably not a great idea. Right if you think I can help.

What's the favor?

It's Godzilla's bones!

You must send them back to the instead of return the egg, we have to return the bones. Return the bones. Return the bones.

It was a mistake to That's what we were trying to say the whole movie. Yeah, it's a mistake to put the bones in there. We tried to tell him that. He's in the Air Force. On the Mecca G ground crew.

No. We came to tell you that Godzilla's bones must return to the sea and remain there.

Forever? But Mecha Godzilla is our only protection!

That's right. What if Godzilla attacks us again one day? If that happens, then Mothra will be there to protect you. But 43 years ago, Mothra destroyed Tokyo.

Tell me, why would it choose to protect us this time, huh?

Yeah, so that's the original guy in the original Mothra. Yeah. Because Mothra's solid. So that happened in this so that they can have Mothra come back. Naturally we don't want that war to happen.

Can't imagine Mothra declaring war on the human race. Uh oh.

Well they simply have no place to go. No. But we're there at the twins, so Mothra's in a love on him.

It's not actually snowing, that's just Mothradander. Yep. Which this kid's allergic to. And now he dies. Nah, he just sneezes a lot.'Cause it'll be cute.

No, that doesn't actually happen, but you know.

I was just happy we got the twins back. Even if that's the only scene we get'em in

No, now that I remember this, they're gonna be pretty prevalent in it. Oh, okay.'Cause the human interest is gonna be the classic actor from the I think he's from the original Mothra. Uh because that scene where he finds them is from the original Mothra, I think.

Yes it was. Yeah. And they're they they're not even passing themselves off as those twins, those are their ancestors. Yeah, probably.

Hm. So at least they're not trying to say they're the same two twins. That's longevity. Yeah.

Dude, if I still had a full head of hair at that age, I would bro cream it back to like Oh yeah, dude, yeah. Same.'Cause that's just the cool little thing. Especially if it was stark white like that. Oh yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah.

Even if it was just salt and peppery umbrill creaming it back like that. See. The Jack Nicholson look for that age. Yeah.

I don't know how much of this hair I got left, but I'm just gonna slick it all back.

It lost an arm and its absolute zero system. However, repairs are continued.

But I can tell it's indigestion because e every burp makes me feel so much better. Minister. That and my high my glucose I think is spiking. I can feel it.

And here I'm just trying to find a charger for this vape that I've hit so much. It's now dead.

What's a what's a what port does it take? I got it. That's fine. Doesn't make any sense at all. They know it's not operational. Your old phone charger cord that you left here that you brought ages ago.

'Cause I think I have what you're looking for down over here hanging over. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, it's fine. During the battles last.

Way to fucking go. Hey man, you all right over there?

He's fallen apart, everybody.

No I picked up.

Up by my cart to lift that out of there because it's the easiest thing to reach. Uh-huh. But it's magnetic and sometimes the magnet doesn't hold. And that's what happened that made all the noise.

Come on, let's be honest, we're all attracted by the bones. Yeah, we're all attracted by the bones.

Choo, how did your vacation go? Okay.

No, why? Well, you've been so absent-minded lately, it's unusual.

I like that little medallion that's on their helmets. Two twins showed up to my uncle's place and you know we hung out a bit. Shit got weird. Got real weird.

I got high on Mothradander. The new Mecha G pilot. Snorted that shit right up. Dude, I would totally snort a line on Mothrodander. Wouldn't you just see? Uh-oh. Yep.

She gave him the I think you're cute smile that she did. She's gonna look back, she's gonna do it.

He's like I think he's cute too. That may have been a bad sign though. Maybe I it was definitely a bad sign. He did not have love in his eyes when he looked at the book. No, he he had jealousy. Jealousy in your eyes.

She was looking at him like he was Princess Leia in a bikini and she was Job of the Hutt. Yeah, yeah. You have lust in your eyes, Hogan!

Was that a thing that Randy Sandy actually said at one point? Yeah, as a promo he cut after the Miss Elizabeth thing when he turned heel as the WWF champion. You've got lust in your eyes.

No,'cause weren't they a team for a while? Yeah, they were in the mega powers and then the mega powers exploded. It was a year long build from WrestleMania four.

With Savage won the world title to WrestleMania five. I remember that storyline. That broke my fucking heart.

But that was all they knew what they were gonna do before WrestleMania Four even happened. They were like, We're gonna put Hogan and Macho together

And then we're gonna build it up for a year and then we're gonna break them up and that's gonna be the main event of WrestleMania five. I was obsessed with that shit as a little kid. They wanted

But uh the way they always wrote stories and I think some of the ways they still do is you start with the end and then you backtrack to make it work.

So you start with at the main event of WrestleMania five, I want it to be this is how Vince would do it from from old notes was I want Macho Man and Hogan to main event WrestleMania Five, though I think those are my two biggest stars right now.

Well how do you do it? Because Macho Man was already kinda turning face.

And he goes, yeah, I'm gonna he's gonna win WrestleMania four. I'm gonna build this friendship, a mega team. Everyone thinks everything's great. And then bloated all the shit over a woman and jealousy.

Yeah, I remember that storyline. Yep. That that fucked my shit up. No puksters to my left.

Buksters to my right. Didn't need em then don't need'em now. He's from the kidnappers.

Oh man, nobody cut a promo like Macho. No, because he was generally insane.

My favorite is when Leslie Nielsen did a short bit for uh Suberslam and he met Macho Man and then he talked to uh another guy and goes, Yo, he can't keep doing that voice, he won't be ready to go for tonight. You know, vocal cords and they're like no that

That's not a voice. That's just that's his. That's that's his actual God voice. That's how he talked to everyone. Bring with me that voice was everything. That's awesome. We wish them all well.

See, this is why I wanted to do dark matches of commentary with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of like Wolf Cop two. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

'Cause I genuinely loved Dark Match and I was like, I Matt needs to see this. I need to see Dark Match. Yeah. That was brutal.

Yeah, come on, kick back. Yeah, I didn't put anything in it. Yeah, this isn't roof eat or anything, so you're totally fine. Have this drink.

Man, these people are all embarrassed. They all wear the same thing that this person. Yeah, right. They all look exactly the same.

You're supposed to say congratulations. Dude, she's totally coming on to him. She doesn't get it.

He gets it? SUSE. Hey, introduce me. I'm the uh Hey motherfucker, you were trampling all over my fucking game. Can you get the fuck out of here? Tell me, why did you want to be a pilot?

Why'd you just talk like she's a child? Oh, why did you wanna be a pilot? Hey, what are you doing hiding over here?

Ugh. This guy has mega chat energy. Oh yeah, look at this motherfucker. Sure, he makes it serious mega chat energy. Mega Chad machines.

Oh ooh yeah come on let's see it

What's your game, huh? Yeah, what's your game, huh?

He practices douche fu. Oh damn. He caught that bug. Yeah, like I said, he practices douche fu. Yeah. Fuck you, man. Mr. Miyagi Danielson did it with chopsticks, you motherfucker.

Ingelsen did it on like pretty much the first round. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Beginner's luck. Beginner's luck.

Danielson is the one.

And you were talking shit in the last commentary. Yeah, no. Ralph Macchio's gonna hunt you down. No, no, I said That motherfucker's from Jersey. He's gonna get you. I know. You kinda talk shit though too.

That was a mistake. You said Hillary Swink way outdid Ralph Balcio's bullshit. Yeah. Yeah, so see, you also talk shit. He's gonna come after you too.

Yeah, but Hillary Swank will defend me. That's my hope. That's that's my vision of a karate kid movie right there. There you go. We talk shit about Daniel LaRusso and then we have to have Hillary Swank.

Fucking defend us. But Hillary Swake won't because we don't remember her character's name. You know what though? Ralph Macchio was the fucking king in uh that blues guitar movie uh Crossroads. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Yeah. Where he was like the blues guitar player, like a Juliart trained musician. He's really good in that.

And he worked really hard. I mean, like, I don't know if he was like a full like he was a guitar player before he did that movie. Yeah. But like he actually looks like he's playing all the stuff that they show him playing in that. Yeah. So he worked really hard to make that into it. What is she doing?

Oh, she's leaving'cause she's a pilot now. Yeah.

Wait, so she did hook up with scientists dad, huh? Is that the same lady? Maybe it's better if it stays that I don't know. I honestly don't know.

No, I can't agree. I so pay little attention to the humans in this. Yeah, I mean'cause the I'm over here fucking with a zombie G.I. Joe figure that I have, like just waiting for some kaijus to come up.'Cause this is You really are, yeah. We all we all have our little thing. I took his Yeah.

That's called nutcase.

So when that was given to me? Yeah. Um there was instructions in the box. And then you lost him? No, no, I purposely threw them away.'Cause you don't want to know. No, I want to figure it out on my own. Yeah.

What are you supposed to do?

Uh those nuts that are in the middle, you're supposed to turn them and if you get them into the right kind of position, the bigger outer edges will slide apart.

Yes, Prime Minister. Okay. There's supposed to be something inside and you have to figure out how to open it by turning those little figured it out? Yeah, multiple times. Okay.

There's a little trick you can do to make it easier, but I don't want to tell you'cause you can just keep fidgeting with it too. Yeah, that's all.

It says that life has to be lived with Finds a way. Jeff Goldblum comes in with a glass of water. I'd like to tell you.

Playing a it uh finds way.

Thank you, Jeff Gobloom. You're welcome. The way he explains that shit to Laura Dern with a drop of water is super creepy.

That character is super sleazy. Oh super sleazy.

Jeff Goldblum loves playing those people. And he slings dick everywhere throughout the entire goddamn any movie he's in as that character.

As long as this country is threatened by Godzilla.

We can't give up our only defense. It would be suicidal for us.

Okay, whenever the twins show up in these movies and they ask you to do something or something bad will happen and then you choose to not do it, you are now culpable for what happens. Yeah, but he's trying.

I mean he can't do anything else that other bring the info guy can make those decisions. Yeah. So that guy's actually being bad. That's who I'm talking to. Oh, okay. I didn't know. I thought you were talking about the old man. No. This they do they do gamma dirty in this.

Is that who's that? That's supposed to be Gamera from the Gamera movies. No, they fucked Gamera up.

They don't even give Gamera a fight, he just shows up on the beach dead. That's fucked up, man. Godzilla just murdered him. They did shit to our goddamn Gamera. They did Gamera dirty. That's the friend to all children.

Take a good look. I'm okay with it by the way. Oh really? Yeah, but still, they did gamma jerky. Some of the monsters are even bigger than that.

If I were a bigger gamma fan, I'd probably be more offended, but

A cameibus, right? Oh, a specialist? Gamera. It was first found on Selgio Island, discovered by Dr. Mia.

Yeah. Megalomata mata. Giant sea turtle. I want one of those hats. The injury? Right here it has D

Oh wow, he didn't even bite his throat out, he just scraped it. Some kind of giant predator, I'd say. Yeah. Like another. They're doing gamer a mega dirty here. Yes.

I don't know. They're doing they're taking a swipe at Gamera with this. Yeah, they really are. Yeah. Oh, a swipe?

This is a full on dunking on camera right now. This is a full fledged roast. This is a roast of gamma. Yeah, camera has been roasted. Yeah. Oh shit, look at Americans. This is great.

Sonar, confirm acoustics print. Listen to the listen to the voice actors trying to make themselves sound American. Pretty man-asque.

Yeah. I like the little white cuffs over all their their headphones.

I'm convinced this is the US Navy by his hat. Yeah. Oh no!

Godzilla's gonna make a slow radiation leak out of that zone.

See this film predicted the orcas attacking mega yachts. Yes, and I am I am in full support of orcas. Attacking megayachts? Yes.

If we can't get the job done, maybe Mother Nature will go ahead and take out billionaires. Or at least push'em into bunkers. Yeah. Well the rest of us don't.

Only carbon in that crystal form gives enough power. Nothing else can replace it. A USB Diamond level power. Power The power of diamonds. Yes.

I love Godzilla.

So far they've found no trace. Did you see did you hear how big of a diamond he said he needed it was big. Ridiculous. Like billions. It can move without absolute season. Like it's we're not talking about like some diamond butt plug. We're talking about

Something real. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Bigger.

Wait a minute. Like I we haven't even done the final checkup yet. No, no, no. It's quite true, sir.

I was gonna go really gross in describing a sex toy and now I'm not gonna do it. You know what?

Yeah, I really do dig the badge on their helmets. Yeah. That's very cool. That is cool. Enough talk about your gross sex toy fetish. Yeah. I don't have the time. Well let's talk about your cute ear fetish, you motherfucker. There are no cute ears on screen, so there's no point.

No, yeah, now I want a hat with that symbol on it. Not those ones. Yeah. Now the the hard hat symbol, I want that on a hat. Yeah, the hard hat badge is much better than the JSX or J X S D S whatever hats here.

That dude does have mega chat energy. Totally. Look at him sitting there up against the wall, arms folded. Yeah.

What is it? Maybe you're just scared of fighting Godzilla.

Yoshi, come on. Look, Akiba. I've worked here for over four years. You hear me? No one knows Meka G better than me.

Don't mix it with a professional fighter. Wow. Damn. Total Mega Chad. Yeah, Mega Chad like by a billion.

Isn't it like a World War Two thing that they're only allowed to have military that protects their the like their homeland, like a national guard kinda? Yeah.

That's what it is. It's like a national guard. So to choose uh as

After they got nuked twice they decided warmongering wasn't really for them, the new governments that took over, and to keep themselves safe, they made themselves pacifists. Now they do have a national guard, but they cannot protect against

hardly really anything. That's why American there are so many American bases. They outsourced we we get their kind of like their technology and all that kind of stuff and we have trouble with that offer protection.

Interesting.

So there isn't such a thing as a Japanese self defense force at all there? They don't have any military s presence in this I'm not exactly positive on that. Okay.

But I do know I do know that they're That's the kind of thing you would know though. You would be the kind of person I would ask.

This is the quietest mic arm I've ever owned. And uh and the one thing that we get out of it is we can have as almost as many bases as really we want in around the Japan area, which helps us out with

You know, being ready to go in spots around there if need be. Quite honestly, we have a little problem. It helps with our colonialism. Yeah, I mean if for a sense, yes, exactly. You're you're not wrong.

Um man, I bet that cigarette looks really good to you right now.

That guy's working, that's yeah. Although he lit it really horribly. That guy doesn't smoke. No, but the thick smoke coming off of that, you just want to drag, I can tell.

That and the zippo lighter. Uh the sound of a zippo lighter. It's I have one as a fidget toy on my desk uh that I use for when I work from home. Oh nice. Yeah.

I'm about to merge that. So you tell that guy's in a smoker, he lit it, never took one drag and then put it out. What the fuck was that? Cocktease for smokers.

That's just a waste of money. By that point, cigarettes were getting expensive in Japan. And everywhere else. Yeah, more there though. I believe it. Uncle.

Hi. Well then. What else? What did you reply?

So the m underling mechanic did try and no one's listening. That's how it goes.

Now maybe we'll scrap it. So either way, it's a selfish decision.

Whatever. It's up to you now. You do. This is totally a clip. Yeah.

This is red 29er.329. Red 29er. What were you calling me from a walkie-talkie? A giant creature has been. You're a Niner in there? Present heading is northwest. Surfacing!

Alright. Here we go. Really love the head sculpt in this one. If this is the one that I'm thinking of. He should have the scar in his chest from the last movie.

Fire it will And I always have a hard time remembering which lizard it is that has the spines coming off like that. Yeah. And it's a bearded dragon that I always try to remember. Oh there you go. How they have the little spiky bits on their heads that come off. They're like the little bits of bone protruding out.

Target locked on. Fire!

It's gonna be really funny if I got the wrong movie.

Right rudder! Right rudder!

It's emerging again, sir.

Prepare torpedoes. Prepare torpedoes!

Launcher ready.

Ooh, rough CG. Yeah, that's a little rough. Not so great.

I'd be really heartbroken if I looked over and we weren't actually recording. Yeah, I I'd be like, what the fuck man? I've got to go Cort. We're done.

I'm not doing this half hour again though. Tell me, if Godzilla does attack, and if Mecca Godzilla goes out to stop it,

Mothra will come to protect us, huh? Man, he's sitting like an abused kid. Yeah, well, they all do.

All those kids in every one of these movies, uh all like just the epitome of just being abused or neglected. Well yeah, that's how you get a child actor to be a child actor. Yeah. Abuse and neglect.

Godzilla heading north.

We'll fight it there. You mean fight it on land, sir? We have to try to minimize damage, Lieutenant! We'll fight him in the air! We'll fight him at sea! Put the Japanese self-defense force.

I feel like if Godzilla were real, Japan should be allowed to have whatever military they need to defend against that. Yeah.

I would think so. But you know what? If Godzilla was real, there's no way the United States would have already found a way with uh you know, of building on its own special force and then just patrolling Japan for them. Whether they want us or not. Yeah, whether they want us.

If you don't think we don't want some of that sweet Godzilla DNA to try to fuck around with, well then you haven't met America, sir. Oh wait, you got a Godzilla.

Yeah we do. Ah. Sounds like you need some freedom out there in Japan. We we already have freedom. Uh not America kind.

We be the freedom for making your own decisions for yourselves. Yeah, that should be us.

I never get tired of seeing the citizens running in fear. Yeah. This is basically what everybody pictures.

Yeah. But where does she come from?

Go to the biggest thing. That's her des I mean that's his daughter, but

That's the mother of the little kid that's been living with the grandpa. I gotcha, okay, okay. Alright, alright. Okay. Hmm.

Hmm. Okay. If you're my uncle. Look out one. Okay, so then that's cousins to the other kid. Alright, gotcha. Alright. Target moving into the harbor.

Which is I was trying to do the math. Yeah, I think the little kid is actually the second cousin, but he keeps calling him uncle to irritate him. To the the the mechanic guy.

Yeah and then the McMahon guy calls the old man uncle because it's actually his uncle. Uncle, but that is the old man's daughter who just came to rescue him. Yeah.

This is awesome. Got the little merchant from the water. Yeah. Check it out. So shit.

This is why I wanted to have Godzilla emerging from water ha water all around from my tattoo.

Yep, this is the one I was thinking of. The scar on the chest.

So yeah, they have the like see it's a little more spiny in spots.

I really like the head on this one.

I have this figure too. Let's kill him. Let's kill this motherfucker again. Redeployment. All infantry units, point B.

SSM1 in place confirmed. Rolling back to point B, over.

They always ask how kill Godzilla. They never ask why kill Godzilla. Why ask why? Gotta try Bud Dry.

Why?'Cause we're human beings. That's why we're killing things.

Things exist and we're human beings. Things exist and we're human beings, and if other things other than us exist, we gotta find a way to kill it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Come on! Hurry up! Quickly! Follow the ball! Oh man, he's trying to run up scream! That's not good.

Oh man, this kid's getting fucked up. No, this kid's trying to call Mothra. Uh-oh.

Oh, not just mazers, we now have hyper mazers. Oh hyper mazers. Nice.

Oh they're even a different color.

Fire! And they're aiming for the wound on the chest. Oh that's smart. It's efficient. It's where they have the best hope of doing damage.

Sss Aim center mast. Uh oh. Yeah, you're dead. Thanks for the memories, fellas. Yeah.

Even though they weren't so great. Sorry, I'm saying that I'm not sure. I know. That's why I looked at you with anger. That was Fallout Boy too. It was even worse than new metal.

I don't even know if I have really paid attention enough to hate that. Yeah.

Let him walk through it. Walk through it. Oh I love it. I love it when roads and bridges are toppled. And trains. Yep. Godzilla really hates trains. Fucking hates trains, man.

Godzilla's a sleeper cell for the American car industry. No traits. Gotta buy a car. I think it's because it seems like a giant snake slithering and he just has to kill it. Yeah. Eeehaw.

I'm all charged up. Oh, he's about to get

Wait, Grandpa! So, er, I err. Thank God we're reporting all that's a good g I like it.

Great shots.

Oh. I don't remember this being a thing, but apparently it is. There's a symbol to call Mothra. Yeah. It's like m the Mothra single. Hey, what's that? Yeah, it's kind of a Mothra signal. Yeah.

There's an old man. But they did have that like in stone in a lot of the Mothra temples and stuff, so what's that sign?

I personally don't really remember the whole summoning thing or not.

Yeah.

The puppetry for her wings is really well done too. I like the ripple that it does in some of them flaps. Look at how pretty Mathra is.

She's got the cutest little antenna.

Mother's like, what's up homies? You called? What are we doing?

What's up kid?

I'm not here to save you, you're all doomed. Doomed the sky is okay.

We are not gonna make it. All units, maximum alert. No, we're not gonna make it. No. Make it with two kaiju.

God that fucking look

So we're doing those and then there's another head that has a little bit of the the protrusions of bone. Yeah.

that uh I really like too that we're gonna use, but it's gonna be kind of a combination of that.

After I got the tattoo done, Bev kept pretending that Godzilla was like a cat and was like scratching under his chin and stuff. And then she would make a joke like, Ow, he bit me. Like whenever she was doing the aftercare putting lotion or whatever on my back.

Every time you made that joke.

If you had to name your kid after one kaiju, which one would it be?

I don't know if I want to name a kid Godzilla, that's weird. Yeah, I mean maybe Zilla? No, cause that's just you're setting them up for failure to name them after Zilla. Yeah.

Okay, sir. Yeah, the pose that I referenced for Mothra being on top of Godzilla's head for the uh plushes I have are. Oh he takes out another bridge. Yeah.

Mothra basically Vazo slides him into a bridge.

Godzilla The Prime Minister has ordered us to be on standby. What other kaiju names? Continue the checking. Would you name a kid Ghidorah? Dismiss.

Well, I wouldn't name the kid King. Yeah, no, King. Like that maybe his name first name's King, middle name Ghidorah. Psyop. No.

I just don't think you should name a kid after a kaiju as well, maybe. Yeah, I'm starting to think that's not a good one.

None of the names really work well for, you know, modern no like just everyday society. What's up, Mothra? No, I see that don't work. I mean, you see what happened when Frank Zappa named his kid Dweezel.

Well, nothing really. Actually, yeah, I think he's all right. But I mean still I bet for a little bit that was awkward.

You're not gonna have a very easy childhood going to school and being named something strange like from a kaiju film.

I don't know, maybe. Probably didn't even have to go to high school.

Well then, they don't want us to use Mecca Godzilla. I mean, he should. Well people should be educated, but I mean, let's let's face it, public school is essentially an indoctrination class.

It's true, but homeschooling also seems to be a great indoctrination class as well. Yeah, that's why all education should be balanced by self-education at the public library. There you go.

Cause there's some motherfucking pirates. You see that? Rip that leg off. Threw her into a building.

Damn, he tore out a leg.

You know, I think this mother's gonna die. And then then we're gonna have the larva. Another one's gonna be reborn. Yeah, then we're gonna have a larva coming. Time to get you high.

I'm trying. I'm drinking this drink. Making me feel weird. Godzilla.

So you're saying I should slow down? No, you're fine. You're not driving anywhere. What do you care? Actually, I'm not fine.

Are you freaking out, man? A little bit, yeah. Yeah. I'm having a hard time paying attention. That's where I like to live. Once it loses its scales, it won't be able to stay airborne.

Shun, let's go.

Yeah, the whole Godzilla Mothra battle for Earth with Batra. Yeah. I think Mothra gets to live in that because Batra is the one that sacrifices themselves.

Yeah, we're about to have some larva and some sacrifices.

They're singing their song. I'd eclip this.

Well we don't have to stop uh step over it that much. We can let it go a little.

This feels like Enya's version.

It's really beautiful though.

This era of new age is a good thing. Yes. Yeah. But who can say?

Only time.

Wow, that is the worst. That is the worst, yeah. You should not do that ever again. You should never, never try to do any.

Yeah, this is beautiful, actually. It's quite quite lovely.

He's building up!

I feel like Glorious Sacrifice is Mothra's superpower. Yeah. Instead of s instead of atomic breath, it's Glorious Sacrifice for some odd reason is what Mothra does.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I mean that's just her superpower. And then she's reborn from that like a phoenix. Yep.

Oh, monster's still alive.

Yeah, but the scales are weakening her. She's using that to hurt him.

That PCP that's driving him wild is uh also slowly ending her life. Yeah. Mothra's wings have been injured. Oh that angel dust. Mothra is continuing its attack.

Man, that power surge has still got me jacked up and I'm still looking to make sure the recorder's right. I know, right? Everything's running. We can't stay idle. I'm really worried. If we do. And we've lost anyway. At least we'll know. You mean?

It's gonna be weird to edit this. Yeah. It's gonna be fun. For the final battle, gentlemen.

Prepare to launch Mecha Godzilla. Mechaji control, ready to program vectoring. So they're gonna use Mecha Godzilla one last time before they return the boat.

White herons. One and two. Well yeah, Mothra's just buying them time at this point. Akiba.

Listen, the final check couldn't.

If you're fighting at close quarters, try to bear that in mind.

Don't worry, Chujo. With my skill, I can overcome any maintenance problems.

Uh no you can't, dude, if your rudders and shit aren't working. Fuck it, what a chad. What a fucking mega chad. Ugh.

Nope. Just take care of it. Will ya?

He's tough, but a little bit reckless.

Yeah, she's totally into him. Oh yeah, way into him.

Got but he's gotta start sacking up here and you know showing some self-confidence and tried to talk to her. Something, right?

He's mumbling to himself. Nutsoid.

All systems operation.

É cacao de luz.

Ready for left.

Gorgeous. Yeah. And again, those helmets with that symbol, man. I want that on a hat. I'm going to try to find that and have a hat made.

Releasing restraints.

Just use a modern day uh T shirt on print on demand service and just print one for yourself and then you don't have to worry about it. Exactly.

I do that a lot for some of my shit. Mega G lift.

A lot of those print on demand services are using the iron on stuff though that I don't like as much. Yeah.

But I'm cool with just doing a hat.

My Godzilla hat.

Mechagodzilla hat Mechagodzilla hat

Technically Kiru. Although they don't call him Kiru in this, you notice they call him Mecca Godzilla, don't they? Yeah. They just were trying to get that too. I think they realized how dumb that was. Or they just didn't dub it that way this time.

Wait. You need a car. Take mine.

I'll report it stolen later.

A Honda. Nice. Reliable cars, Honda. I'll take your word for it.

Especially the accord.

Do you have like a quota you're trying to fill here? What do you need? All the products you're endorsing on these fucking commentaries? Beautiful explosions. That looks terrific. Oh, nice. Yep. Yeah. Tokyo Tower is hit!

It's falling Tokyo Tower is no more, I tell you. Oh no. oh they're gonna get stoned yeah

Oh shit. I don't know if Mother can take another blast. I don't think so. That was brutal. Oh. Godzilla, sometimes you're a dick. Yep.

Well he already bit off one of her front legs. I know.

There we go.

The target's in sight. Here we go.

Toe harness. Toe harness.

Oh, look at those feet picks from Mecha Godzilla, that's nice. I didn't know you were a mecha feet guy. You can make a lot of money on uh uh o only fans doing that shit.

Especially if you get Quentin Tarantino interested.

It's moving!

Fire! One! Roger!

Okay. Try this on for all systems are Oklahoma, sir.

Damn dude, the explosions and fire play off that soon.

It's a good mix of composited in missile fire and then actual explosions coming off the suit. Yeah.

The practical explosions are what really sell it though.

Oh, always practical is what's gonna sell everything. Oh, it's a Honda element though. Uh it's a oh yeah, it's just an element. Uh I'm not so sure what the elements do.

That's why the guy gave him the keys. He's like, Here, get rid of this for me.

I drive a box, man. Here, take this car and get it smashed up by a kaiju. Can you please? Can you please? I have that in my insurance coverage.

Well you if you're gonna live in Japan, kaiju smashing is definitely something you look good. You know how expensive it is. It's kinda like trying to get flood insurance in Florida. You can't.

That's why you have to build your structure as flood-proof as possible. Yep.

Here he goes

Well Godzilla just fire through the building next. Yep.

Oh ring down fire Yeah he should just really fire through the building Death Oh here it's coming from above Oh yep here you go Death through a building!

Oak, check it out, check it out. Oh, he's coming through the building! Hey, that looks like the same building he walked through last time. They're like, Jesus Christ!

What do you guys make? Godzilla action figures and he keeps wrecking it.

Oh Mothra's like Bishlap. Awww. But sacrifice. It happens.

I think the spirit of Mothra is about to possess something.

And she has no ears. She has antennas. Which are adorable.

Nope, see the new eggs get ready to Yeah, mother's about to die, so the new one needs to hatch. Yep. I bet you we get a double larva situation. Oh, double larva?

Oh, oh, oh. Oh, is the larva gonna bukagi Godzilla? Of course. Awesome. Just full facial.

Up we do have a double team. Oh look at that. Oh my god, we're gonna have to have a double teaming of facial of facials in the world. Yeah, it's it's gonna definitely be a bukkake now. Yep.

It would have been cool. I don't think we get to see it in this, but it would have been cool if they both cocoon up but they both turn into mothras but they look different. Yeah. And one would be a Batra and one would be a Mothra. Or they cocoon up together and become Mega Mothra?

Ultra Megamatra. Ultra Megamathra, like twice the size of original Mothra. But like if we do get a Mothra out of this, one of them is gonna die and then the other one will cocoon up. Yeah. But I don't think we have enough time. I think

Yeah, with only a half hour left, I don't think we're gonna get a cocooning. No, I don't think so. I think we're gonna have a Bukaki in final battle with uh with the Kiru. And then then we'll bury Mechamugah. Yeah. Well he won't be buried, he'll just go back to the ocean. Yeah and return the bones.

The bones. You did remove the bodies. You moved the headstones, but you left-lift the bodies!

On an island, sir. Two large targets attacked. Trying to drive that thing around. You know what I was just thinking of is that episode of Thirty Rock where they try to design a new oven?

With Jack, he gets all the people together. Yeah. And at one point in time they end up designing the Honda element. The Honda.

And like Jack's like congratulations, we've just designed the Honda element. It's one of my favorite gags from that series. I don't know why, but it just makes me laugh every time. Honda though, still a fine car.

Except for the element. Yeah. Maybe. Just get a a cord. You're gonna be happy. It's a nice sedan. Arm unit. Jettison. Sedans are hard to find these days. Everything's trying to be a crossover. Even my car, really.

Fire one.

That and then the flavors of Diet Mountain Dew. All the caffeine, zero the calories. Diet Mountain Dew. You really are trying to sell shit. Like I don't understand how you're gonna get money for doing ads on

my show. It's free. I'm not doing any ads. I'm just talking about the crisp, clean, tasty flavors of Diet Mount Do. Diet Mout Do. Do the do That's what podcasts have basically turned into.

Where they're just called they just like and they they try to filter it into the story. Yeah. Of whatever they're talking about.

And then they saw her grisly body hollowed out in the barn. But don't you get hollowed out on holiday savings?

It is really that bad. It is. It's that bad. Yeah. Unbearable. Is grandpa dead or? Nah.

Bitch, I'm your second cousin at best. I barely know you. That's why the kid calls him that'cause

And now he's okay with it. Oh yeah, okay, Grandpa's alright. He ain't happy, but he's alive.

I'm sure it didn't do good to his like, you know, loss of bone dancing. Oh here we go. Ah use of the tail. There we are. That was an excellent Mega G tail loop, I gotta say. I'm a fan. Wanna play dirty, do ya?

Cuts is like bitch You're jacking my style, you're jacking my moves.

Oh, it's a front body uh a back body slam, nice. Yeah, that was well executed. My bad. That was well executed. Uh-oh.

Sometimes I think they just have the suits empty when they do tosses like that. Probably.

I solved it. Oh hey, you solved it! There it is. Nice.

Can we see it? Nope, because then you'll figure it out. I probably wouldn't. Actually, yeah, that's true. I probably I wouldn't figure it out.

Yeah, now you can play with it again if you want. Control room. Giant worms are surfacing. Giant worms are surfacing. You l you s show some Mart Mothra lava some s respect. Yeah.

Come in aqui.

We've lost the controls!

We're both just sitting here like watching. What's gonna happen? Fuck. Sorry everyone, we forgot it was a commentary there for a second. Here comes your bukaki.

They really are mocker. Yes, they are also. Yeah, because it's just they're raining semen from the sky. It's silk.

They're rainy thick ropes that come from the sky. Uh

I prefer the versions of the show where I can edit you down a little bit. Yeah, I know. You're too much. Yeah, I really am.

Man, just incredible. Yep. All of the effects of this are really well done. Suits.

Or whatever these are. I don't think there's a person in the Mothras. I think they're all puppetry. Yeah, but th okay, the puppetry's great then. Yeah, it's incredible.

I honestly don't know, maybe there is a person in there but I don't know. No, I think it's I think you're right. I think it's puppetry.

But it looks incredible. Oh, it's fantastic. Conceal is like what in the fuck is going on around here?

Looks like all of Godzilla's head is being puppeteered by a side. Alright, here we go. The final sacrifice. The noble sacrifice. Literally burning like a phoenix. Like a phoenix, he shall rise from the ashes. Well she already has, because

Her larva are there. Her power's going into her larva. Yep. Who are now sad, they watch the mommy die. And now their eyes are red. Well yeah, they're pissed off at what Godzilla did. It's time to bukaki the fuck out of'em.

We are gonna cover you with our seeds, sir. Temporarily? No. You're a weird dude. I really am. We don't even have the minimum. It's not enough.

Hey, hey, hey, just because you've got yourself into a zoned out state of highness doesn't mean that you can now start calling me a weird dude.

Yeah, you're that you're right there. That's nice. I'm a qualified I told you that fifty milligrams is too much and I'm not even all the way through it.

Yeah, this drink's after actually lasted you a while.

Well sir I thought I was seeing the fairy in the mirror, man.

And then getting hit by an EMP who that didn't help.

This is the level of stone I like to be before we start talking about Appalachian ghost stories and stuff. Oh, there you go. Or before you go dousing into rabbit holes of conspiracy theories. Well, I don't enjoy that as much anymore now that they're all true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Mostly.

Now I'm starting to wonder if we ever did go to the moon. I'm grateful to you, sir. No, Stanley Cooper definitely did not fake the moon landing. I don't think that was a thing. I think that's definitely was a thing. We have satellites in space. We made it to the moon.

In fact we have so many space junk now we might be trapped in our own planet.

Welcome to that thought. Yeah, there's dead monkey corpses floating up there in capsules all over the place. Yeah, a dead dog probably somewhere. Yeah, a few dead dogs. Yeah. Freeze-dried carcasses everywhere. Yep.

The mob is using it. That's where Jimmy Hoffa is actually in space in orbit. He was launched to space. Yep. That is a good place to dispose of bots.

Just say it. Maybe instead of burying them, they just launch'em. But next time get'em further away so it gets out of our gravitational pull to come back and circling around. Yeah. But even if they come down

I mean so it continues off into space.

Away from the planet floating. It's the only way to be sure. Yeah. So explosive to the body. Just fire it into the sun. That's really why all the billionaires are obsessed with launching things into space. Yeah, they're launching bodies out. Yeah. Trying to cover up.

Yeah. Murderous bastards. Mm-hmm.

Every single one of those bullet hits looked incredible too. Yeah. Yeah, I like a spiky Godzilla. Ah, spiky Godzilla is always fun. He means he's mean. Come on.

Yeah guys uh you might not be able to get around the city because you know there's been a kaiju fight happening for the last hour. Alright, where's Mecha Godzilla? Somewhere near Akashic. This guy's ready to take on chemical warfare. We'll take a detail. They both are. Alright, let's move out. Yes sir.

You guys are ready for business. Find another route. It's business time in Japan. It's b time to get down to the business. Oh look, the mechanic's not gonna fuck around. No, he's getting on a motorcycle.

Alright, taking a motorcycle into a subway seems really, really dangerous and dumb. Yep. But fun. But also cool as hell. This guy's cool meters

Launching up. Well, he doesn't have to worry about the subway train running right now. Yeah. And all of the kaiju proof bunkers they usually show people going underground. Hey, nothing not for nothing. Whoever's flying that jet right there, that's a propilot, motherfucker.

I think we're about to get a uh larva latching onto a tail here. Yep.

They always do this for comedic effects. Hiya!

Oh, there he missed it. Nice dive attack, but he missed it.

He rolled he or he rolled the two. Yeah, his initiative wasn't far enough ahead. There we go. What does this achieve? I don't understand this as a pain. As an attack. Yeah.

Uh oh.

This is also why I thought it might not be a b a good idea to be underground during a kaiju fight. Yeah, the infrastructure isn't there to support all this. But they always show the kaiju bunkers being underground in other movies. Yeah. Probably deeper than that though. And thicker concrete.

And you were right.

Yeah, your average city street is not constructed to hold the weight of a kaiju. No. No, I mean fuck uh uh Omaha's now isn't you know maintained to hold a Honda Accord. A fine vehicle in sedan.

What was the truck? It was a truck and a car and a sedan, I think. It was a Toyota Tacoma truck. Yeah. But yeah, they both it was two of'em.

Yeah. They went one minute looking at a street light, next minute people. Yeah, that made national news. Yeah. That's the only way we made national news in Omaha is'cause our sinkholes. And by the way.

That's like number two in the last year. So we're all water main breaks, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Th there was one downtown now that feels left out because, you know.

Getting all the intention. Oh, you should see some of the shit that happened in Pittsburgh, my man. Oh yeah. There's some sinkhole problems on McKnight Road that you wouldn't believe. Jesus. All my homies in Pittsburgh are like, Yins didn't forget us. Yep. Yep.

Yeah. It got fucked up out there. McKnight Row got real fucked up. Really? Yeah. Jesus Christ. We're all just gonna fall into the earth.

Oh those are the twins.

Matt only gets excited when he sees twins in pornos and Mothra films.

Yeah, any other time I see him it creeps me out. Unless it's double mint.

The singing makes you soothed. That is true. Double makeup.

The only thing that breaks uh double make gum is mentos. The fresh maker. I've managed to locate Mecca Godzilla. Man, it was fun to throw mental mentos in a pop bottle and delicious mentos.

Roger. Mentos. The fresh maker. Oh god damn, this is one giant commercial from you this week.

I'm just mesmerized by how good the effects are. Yes. Look at that.

They made him Toxic Avenger Roar.

Oh, right into the chest. Yeah, you're gonna die.

What's he doing again? He's trying to fix uh yeah he's going into fix mectra guides all that he's right there now Looks like the arm.

The communication cables

He's our main guy, the mechanic that's a good one. Well, I know who he is. I just didn't know what he was doing down there. But yeah, he's fixing Godzilla. Well he's proving that with his skills he can overcome any maintenance problem because he's an actual mechanic.

We need a just an average root of the mill pilot. With mega chat energy. Yeah.

Pilots. You know, I'm not a hundred percent certain, but I think I could probably land a plane if something happened to the pilot.

I know for a fact you couldn't. That's my toxic masculinity. I think I could land a plane if something happened to the pilot. I hope no one ever listens to you ever. I really hope not. I'd have to really fight it.

Something happened to the pilot. Now in the maintenance. Do we have a pilot on this plane? Roger. Slowly I start raising my hand, my wife grabs it. No, it's okay. No. This is a good thing. Now I know you're kidding. Here read me.

I still think I can land a fucking plate. Oh, you're so full of shit. I can't open it. And I think I could take a bear in a fist fight.

You know, you keep talking like that, I'm gonna wish you tried. Did we say you're not a bear though?

Not like that. Oh, oh. I mean I'm wishing for your painful demise at the hands of fighting a bear. An actual bear, okay.

The way you looked at me going, I wish you'd try

Here's your uh bucoggy. Yeah, bucki. No, if I wanted to fight you, I would just tell you I want to fight you. Yeah. Well sometimes you get cute.

I'm starting to feel like I wanna fight you.

Well that's just your toxic masculinity talking now, isn't it? My toxic trait is that I'm super annoyed by you. Well, I didn't tell you to get higher than the sun.

No, but it was kind of implied.

By the fact that you were driving yourself here. Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay, we'll take it from here. Now get out of there. Right? Oh yeah, he gets uh trapped in the maintenance house. So now he's gonna be trapped in Mekagadzilla? Yes.

Have fun, buddy.

That's the thing with mecha godzilla is in maintenance hatches. Whoever goes in there ends up getting stuck.

Yeah, it got sprayed with some kind of uh acid or something and melted. But now it won't open after he got in there. Well, he's fucked. Well, he's dead, everybody. Let's forget about him. Unless he has plot armor. He might have plot armor.

Chejo!

I'm okay. I'm out of Mecca G. He's lying to get people to go.

Go ahead. And now they're having Mecha G be piloted remotely from the plane.

Pilot chair dead.

Roger.

He's still alive.

With his abilities he can overcome any maintenance problem.

Was that you catching a fly? Yeah, that was me catching a fly.

That was visually way more impressive than it sounded. Yeah, yeah, no, I know. Which really wasn't that great.

Oh god.

He's gonna fry that baby larva. No! And then he's gonna eat its barbecued husk.

I wonder how good that be.

Well here comes Mecha Godzilla back again with his bullshit and half an eye.

Compositing's a little rough in this shop, but still very cool.

He's gonna be like a ladybug getting bounced around inside a jar in that be like uh with Jason whipped that girl all around the goddamn room and when the cop found her it was all just nothing but blood from ceiling to floor.

Mm-hmm.

Jason lives. You're welcome.

I think that's the one the video game was based on'cause you're supposed to be protecting kids in a camp counselor situation. Actually, uh the video game was based off of that movie. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Oh. So for some reason I thought you said that was never mind.

Oh yep, see he's

Fucking he's full sorts of fucked up. But the cover they use the Kane Hotter looking Jason from seven. Yeah. Which is weird. Yeah, I don't know. But yeah, you're fighting as a camp counselor to protect the kids. Yep. And then purple Jason.

Shows up with a weird tune. That's my favorite Jason is Purple Jason from that game. Yep.

My favorite has they made that downloadable content for the Friday the 13th multiplayer game that came out a while ago. Oh. Mecha Godzilla's fist here is removing scales. Yeah, it's like a drill now.

He's doing this without consent. Oh yeah, no means no

Jeez. That's pretty believable. Yeah. That's uh that's gruesome. I'm feeling the pain of the Godzilla with that getting his crotch drilled out.

I wouldn't like that much either. No, man, that sucked. That felt look that looked like it felt horrible. Preparing hypermaser. Oh.

Hypermaser. Yeah, this is what they needed the giant diamond for. Oh yes, the hypermaser. Fire!

Oh, right into the hole.

That's how sexual assault works, yes. Yes. Yeah. It's in the hole. Oh, and now they're attacking the chest too.

I believe that's what we're seeing, yes. What the fuck man? I'm just trying to talk, alright? No, I know. I just want to keep looking at you and making you feel creeped out. Yeah, can you not? I need to maintain eye contact. Jesus Christ.

Commentary. Why do you have to maintain eye contact while Godzilla is being violated? I don't know. Maybe it's soothing for me? No. Yeah, it shouldn't be.

All right, here's where we're gonna get the whole montage to tell us about the bones. Yep. Yeah.

Well more silly string

It's really pretty though. It is. A little Terminator 2 feeling to that. Half an eye. I didn't know. Or Terminator, I should say. Looks like Mecha Godzilla doesn't want to fight.

That's what we've been trying to say. Yeah, I mean everyone in the movie's been trying to tell you that. Literally, the twins have said that since they've shown up. Return the bones.

Oh man, Godzilla's just covered now. Can you imagine how fucking uncomfortably hot that is in the suit that is now covered in what I assume is cotton to make it like look like that? Oh yeah. Ugh, the suit actor's gotta be dying in all of that.

And how uncomfortable would it have to be to be in a mecha Godzilla suit with all that plastic, that hard plastic? Yeah, right? Yeah. Strapping garbage cans to you. Really seals in the flavor in there. Yeah. I'm sorry.

Mothra hears you and Mothra has come to save you. Mothra's like, uh, it's all right.

We so sing the song of our people. My cats do that every morning at around 3 a.m. Yeah.

They sing the song of their people outside my door because they want me to come play with a toy with them. Yeah, at 3 a.m. A lot.

Did I hear the voice of the fairies? Not allowed to call them that anymore, sir. Dude, be cool.

That's inappropriate. Human beings should recognize their mistakes and correct them. It's the only way they can redeem them.

That boomer isn't gonna redeem himself.

Just wants to figure out a way to steal more capital from the rest of us.

Take it easy on the office chair. I have to use that later. Sorry about that.

What do you use this one for? Work. What do you use that one for? Pleasure Pleasure in here when I'm doing audio editing in here.

I'd move the chair back and forth. I did do that for a while. Sounds exhausting. It was. Roger. That's why I bought two. Alright. Damn. Everyone calm down.

Will come out tomorrow.

You betcha bothered dollar.

Just stop singing. I'm not singing, now I'm sp doing the spoken word. Yeah. You and William Shatner need to keep with the spoken word and the singing.

SHATTER!

I don't believe it's only him, uh, George Takai, and uh

God, I forget the actor's name we played Chekhov. Those are the only three left. Antonio Yeltsin. Yes.

No, no, that's the young one.

Thanks, Creep uh Jeep Grind Cherokee. Yeah. Fucking shit. Not a fine product that murdered Anton Yeltsin. Nope. Destroyed all the new uh universe Star Trek from there on out. We w we won't ever get another one ever again.

So we just got the three movies. Never got to see the Enterprise A of that universe. That looked awesome.

Oh, she's gonna take a wrapped up Godzilla and return him to the sea.

Time to return to the sea. See, Mecha Godzilla can fly on its own. Yeah. Yet they ship him in with two planes every time. I they it is must be like to keep the. Fuel conservation, yeah.

And imagine it's very, very expensive to fly her. Oh, I'm sure. Like the amount of fuel it takes. Yeah. Especially when you're hauling a Godzilla to his watery grave. Which is what's doing the carbon footprint that's leaving behind is massive.

Yeah, but the uh radiation footprint that Godzilla leaves behind every time he stomps through land is also probably not good. So it's kind of a handoff trade-off kind of thing.

I get it now.

I think Mecha G wants to sync itself with Godzilla. We've already figured that out on our own, dude. We were all here. I just literally said that like seconds ago. Well welcome to the fucking show. Yeah, welcome to the party, pal. Yeah. Choo.

Are you in there?

Yeah, I'm in here. Please answer me too, Joe. Well, that's definitely Phil.

fifty milligrams of THC in my system now. Coursing through your veins. And I'm already since I'm out starting to hit the puffers, so there's no way I can get out of it.

You wanna stay in this here, but not here zone, you're in. Well, uh you taking a look at the world outside, do you blame me? Nope. Yeah.

Why didn't you tell me before? If I'm not required to be sober for something, I'm not gonna be anymore. No, same. I tend not to. Too bad.

I'll go down with the biggest one.

Just get just hammered.

I kind of mentioned it before, but I think I'm just gonna reiterate here. Yeah. I'm retiring my equipment uh after this. I'm just gonna get like a USB mic and record straight to the computer with my laptop. That's insane. I'm gonna be downsizing a lot of this

So these commentaries represent the le the last of use of like probably even these mics for me. Really? Yeah, I think I'm just gonna get a straight up USB C mic, like a really fancy one. Oh okay. And I might sell off some of this stuff. I don't know. Oh wow.

This represents the last of the petty cats.

Uh next episode will be the last this equipment will be used. That's crazy. Yeah.

Because I've already like I'm pretty much ready to order the mic. I just am waiting for these to be done. Yeah. They're gonna start editing.

And then we get started on the Gene Wilder uh Richard Pryor team up movies from there. Oh look, he's gonna get out. And we're back to regular episodes.

clips the whole Shiban.

Oh, yeah no you can't fall from that height. You gotta wait till he gets lower.

Yeah, but at the speed he's going he's gonna turn into hamburger no matter what.

No, his best bet is to get caught midair even though the same thing would happen and he would splatter in physics. Yep, here we go.

It's gonna tell him goodbye. Watch.

Sayanara, yeah. Goodbye.

See you later.

Good job figuring it out.

Yeah.

Let it bury itself in a watery grave. I think so this could this is the best fucking uh yeah, he's gonna die. Best possible scenario. Yeah.

You thought he was gonna die, but the pilot that's hot the trot for him. Oh that's the dude. I think that's the Chad. The Chad saved him? The Chad saved him with his skills. With his skills he overcame any maintenance problem.

That's right. He got rescued by the Chad. He should have got rescued by the lady. I know, right? At least I thought it was the Chad. No, it's the Chad. They just showed him He just lamented that Mecha G is going to its watery grays.

You know that greedy corporations are not going to leave that much technology strapped in the Gotzilla. They're going to try to dig that up.

Yeah. There's some American firm already wanting to get it in there. They're trying to remove at least the resources from the bones, even if they leave the bones. Right now the Sea of Japan is in danger of becoming communist, so we have to do something about that. Toot sweet.

We also need to get samples from the watery grave of the Godzilla.

For reasons. For reasons of freedom. For corporations to make money.

A pledge allegiance to the corporation and to their bottom line. Mm-hmm. I don't know. For which it stands.

Maybe a hollow.

It will make a lot more in the future. I'm just waiting for him to get philosophical about how Godzilla is in each side of each and one of us. It's like we're all Godzilla. You know, Godzilla and I are not too different.

We both operate solely on our lizard brains. Yeah. We both destroy cities with our bad breath. Jesus Christ. Look at these two. Wiped out. They've been through some shit. Yeah.

Their initiation into the Mothricult was not very gentle. No, no, that was a beating. You gotta get gang beaten to join the Mothra Cult. It's just the way it is. Mm-hmm. It's blood in, blood out. Yeah.

We still have the little stone though, so they're in. Yeah. The old man's like, God damn, way to bookend my life. Early part of my life, Mothra. End part of my life, more fucking Mothra beatings.

Well he was able to escape the cult and he wanted back in. Well, listen, the beatings will continue until morale proves.

Ah, the twins! Even though one's taller than the other, but it's fine. It's fine. No one said they were identical.

Yeah, I'm really sad that the next movie just completely ignores this storyline because some of this stuff is really cool. And he was saved by the Mega Chad. Yeah, Mega Chad, baby. So I would maintain he was saved by the person who loved him most. I think Mega Chad was persisting too much.

I'm the one who saved your ass. Why don't you ever love me? I'm Mega Chad. And of course.

My co-pilot.

They're all gonna end up in bed together a three-way. At least that's how I'm writing it in my head, Canon. Same here, same here. You showed great.

And the Mothra twins are singing them encouraging songs. Watching watching on a on a nightstand singing a song while all three of'em hook up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's hot.

That's how you end this fucking movie.

And to finish, Sam bricks in Frodo's mouth.

With this.

So come hither eyes.

And we're out folks. Here we go. That's the ending of the film. We end with Sam Bricks and Frodo's mouth.

We end with a three way and the twins watching. I'm comfortable, that's a good thing.

Yeah. Everyone's getting a piece of everyone. Y'all means all y'all. Yeah. Yeah. It's all. All or nothing. Well, y'all have a great week. We're fucking done.

Thank you.

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