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Diagnosed with Complex Trauma and a Dissociative Disorder, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about complex trauma, dissociation (CPTSD, OSDD, DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality), etc.), and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
Over:
Speaker 2:Welcome to the System Speak Podcast, a podcast about Dissociative Identity Disorder. If you are new to the podcast, we recommend starting at the beginning episodes and listen in order to hear our story and what we have learned through this endeavor. Current episodes may be more applicable to long time listeners and are likely to contain more advanced topics, emotional or other triggering content, and or reference earlier episodes that provide more context to what we are currently learning and experiencing. As always, please care for yourself during and after listening to the podcast. Thank you.
Speaker 3:Hi!
Speaker 4:It's always awkward starting the podcast, but once you get going it's easy peasy. We are in Oklahoma at a fancy hotel downtown
Speaker 3:in Oklahoma.
Speaker 4:And Papa and the other kids, Papa and the other kids are going to be here in a little while. Before we merge tribes Yeah. And have a merge feast
Speaker 5:Oh, boy.
Speaker 4:Later today, what are your thoughts and feelings about that? Being here for a few weeks for appointments and visiting papa and the other kids. I wanna know what's gonna be good, what's gonna be hard, how are we gonna navigate it with whatever is appropriate to share.
Speaker 1:I'm a little nervous. So I have two swimsuits, a bikini and a swimsuit that I call papa proof
Speaker 4:Papa proof.
Speaker 1:My dad will approve of it because it's long sleeves and shorts. And in the church, it's immortest to wear bikinis. So I don't exactly know what he will think.
Speaker 4:That is very vulnerable. It brings up one issue of culture, of shiny happy. It's a lot of what a lot of us are navigating in different ways because there's nothing to be ashamed of about your body. And also having conversations like that with papa, deciding things for yourself as you get older, and how do you tell what is principle to follow and what is culture or expression? Like what's the difference?
Speaker 6:I don't know. I'd like to share something about that actually. So in the church we were raised to be like you know very modest and very like long sleeves and like girls wear the same dresses and boys wear suits and ties and stuff like that and I feel like because of that I am, I would say, very very very modest like over the top like even in the summertime sometimes I'll just like throw on a pair of leggings and like long sleeves and I think if I've been like raised a little bit differently I feel like I would be like wearing tank tops and crop tops and all that stuff but that's because of how I raise the wig and also I think it's more of a choice too because like how do I put it in a way that explains it in a short sentence? I'm learning about what I do and don't like what mom said And I'm learning that I'm more modest than, well, most of the girls at my school where they like open. Awesome.
Speaker 6:Comfortable about their bodies. And I'm like, how do they do this? And I'm freaking out because like that's not me. And all the time I'm like walking around school and like I see everything there are some girls who just don't wear bras at school and I'm like woah. Like even in PE class I'm just walking around and I'm like, and that was just kinda awkward, I'd say.
Speaker 6:Because it's just not how I was raised growing up, so it's just not
Speaker 4:appealing to me. Right? So that, what you're describing, is kind of the binary system of over the top modest or over the top no principles at all.
Speaker 6:Mhmm.
Speaker 4:And so the nuance and the complexity would be somewhere in the middle. How do you feel enough covered up or enough expression congruent with who you are, but because of what you need and prefer and want rather than what is being imposed upon you in an oppressive way?
Speaker 5:So, I gotta say, when I tried something new, I was not very good at it. I have a problem with words, specifically bad words.
Speaker 4:Think you're pretty good at it.
Speaker 5:I'm getting a lot better.
Speaker 3:What's the problem? I'm getting
Speaker 5:a lot better, but I use it almost every day, almost somewhere every hour, sometimes every single minute.
Speaker 4:So what you're talking about is the difference between using any kind of language expression as opposed to weaponizing it in abuse or it being default to just habit.
Speaker 5:Like Yeah. Because, also let's see. I didn't really grow up with this stuff. And then you get it around your teenage, years, and then you're not really allowed to sit. So, know, you do that silly thing where you just sit at school, and then you don't sit at home.
Speaker 5:Then you get the thing where you get to make your own choices, so you just say what you wanna say. But
Speaker 3:Don't worry.
Speaker 5:I don't know if I well, like, I don't know how to actually, like I don't know. It's just hard. So it's just a bit hard, but I'm doing better. I'm working on trying to say it in better context. But then, also, I don't know.
Speaker 5:I'm trying not to be shiny happy, but where I am right now and the part of the culture that the other part of the family has is they don't really do bad words. Okay.
Speaker 4:In front of papa.
Speaker 5:Hold on. Let me rephrase that. The only person who doesn't actually do bad words is three people. Papa, grandma, and granddad.
Speaker 1:Well, I would
Speaker 5:Okay. Just papa and grandma.
Speaker 1:I would like to
Speaker 3:We didn't know about that.
Speaker 1:Would like to add. Papa said crap while doing the dishes.
Speaker 5:Yeah. That that doesn't really count.
Speaker 6:It does, though.
Speaker 5:If he said the never mind. Okay. And because I just wanna let you know it doesn't count if it doesn't count if you're being in the culture if you just don't say the bad words in front of papa because and mom can vouch for every person here that you have said and will probably continue to say bad words when you come and stay over with us.
Speaker 6:Okay.
Speaker 5:Mom's heard it. We've heard it. So if I was being me, I'm probably gonna have a talk with papa about it because it's probably time, and I need to get it out of my system. And I don't know when I'm gonna see him again, so it's probably good to get it out now.
Speaker 4:What I think is important is that our relationships are safe. And when things were so shiny happy that you had to be one person at school and another person at home, then you are no longer getting to be yourself and literally being divided into selves, which was not okay with me because I want all of your selves to be welcome in relationship with me. And so it became more important to me for us to be authentic and real than to be pretending. What you choose for you may be different what you choose for you or I choose for me and that's okay. The guidelines I've suggested and have requested is that we don't use any language, not just bad words, but any language that is abusive against other people, like weaponizing anything, language, big feelings, anything like that against people where it causes harm to yourself or others.
Speaker 4:That just is a safety issue. But otherwise, you being expressive is really important to me, even as a writer and much more as someone who cares for you.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:But if you are only speak as a parent, I am saying if you are only using language out of habit, then you no longer have command over yourself. Oh. Like you're no longer actually choosing, which is not the same as expressive. You and then you.
Speaker 6:I'm a writer too, like mom, but I write completely different. I'm just gonna be honest my books are the same very intimate. That's all I can say to be safe.
Speaker 1:Wait it on. Yeah.
Speaker 4:At least. And
Speaker 6:one thing that I noticed about my writing that probably doesn't happen in mom's writing is that my main characters cuss a lot. They say the f word a lot in my book. I'm not saying I rely on the f word alone, but when things happen, like I had to get me classmates to the table last night, I almost dropped, well, a lot of words. But I thought I was like, oh, right. I'm an Oklahoman.
Speaker 6:I heard that.
Speaker 4:You know what? You said something really interesting that I wanna circle back to is you talked about your writing and what's in your stories that you described as intimate, which I know why you're saying that. That's fine. And also it's a good educational opportunity that intimacy is not actually sex.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Well, my book is
Speaker 6:very, very over the top.
Speaker 5:Let's stop there. But
Speaker 3:because Why are we talking about this? I don't know. I'm not
Speaker 6:going go into detail, but let's just say we recently watched we were learning about the King and Queen of England and the only way to learn about it was through White Queen, White Princess, Spanish Princess, which mom did skip a lot of the video that I've seen. But we still have to learn that history. It's important. It's detailed. Ever since those, I have been obsessed with writing about princes or kings and queens and so one of the things that happened in the past is that people didn't wear clothes that much very often so
Speaker 3:I don't know what history that was! It's our history from when we
Speaker 5:were children.
Speaker 6:And so, I just write a lot about that kind of thing because when I learn about that kind of thing, I write about it. When I was probably curious age, I was in I was in I think fifth grade? Sixth grade ish? And so I was writing about that kind of level grade and I'm 16 or 17. Next week baby!
Speaker 6:Next week oh wow I didn't realize I write about, well, not 15, 17 year olds. I write about 21 year olds. That's not a point.
Speaker 4:Well, it brings up a lot of questions, right? And you guys are giggling at me for saying the word sex, but sex is a real part of But I want everyone to know, including you, especially you,
Speaker 3:What?
Speaker 4:Sex and intimacy are not the same thing. There are lots of kinds of intimacy. Is really important. Intimacy is closeness. There's verbal closeness, verbal intimacy, which we can't have if you're filtering and having to be one person at school and one person at home.
Speaker 4:Then at home, you're not actually being verbally intimate, meaning you're filtering and there's lots of distance between us instead of closeness. Intimacy doesn't always mean sex, right? There's emotional intimacy. So like, if you're just hooking up with someone for sex, but you don't actually know them, that is not the same as being close. If you have someone that you know who's at school, but you just know who they are because you've seen them in the hallway, that's not the same as your BFF or your bestie where you have emotional intimacy because you know them really well.
Speaker 1:For example, I have a friend who is my best friend because we have talked a lot when we are in Oklahoma and we have friendship bracelets and a notebook that's a heart. She has the other half, which I forgot. And like she's a real BFF, but someone like say I said a girl at my school named Joanna was my BFF. Well, just because I see her
Speaker 4:doesn't mean she's my BFF because Thank you. So if, why it matters is because when you are dating or later when you're older and want to have long term relationships, some of you need more emotional intimacy than others, or your partner might need more emotional intimacy or others. There are some people that do not even have romantic or sexual feelings without first having emotional intimacy. Like there's a whole spectrum of all of these things. So even though you're giggling and it's funny, because I keep saying the word sex, I'm saying there's much more to sex.
Speaker 4:It's not just about the bodies, but even animals have relationships, right? So we are humans. We have relationships with humans. Remember that article we read about the penguins where there were two widow penguins and then they became like besties, but they were still partners with their penguin partners that they lost, right? That's emotional intimacy, being close friends even though it wasn't sexual.
Speaker 4:But also many sexual relationships are not successful if there's not also emotional intimacy. You don't just walk up to somebody and be like, you have a body and I have a body. Let's have sex. That's not how it works. Sucks.
Speaker 4:When you want to have someone that you get to keep long term.
Speaker 3:Oh, boy.
Speaker 5:Okay. So let's move away from that for just a bit.
Speaker 4:Oh, we'll keep coming back to it so
Speaker 6:many times.
Speaker 5:I bet we will. But let's go to the part about Oklahoma because that comes up a lot. Now exactly what every single person said was when I they say, like, when I'm in Oklahoma, I can't curse. Or when I'm in Oklahoma, I can't do this. Or when I'm Oklahoma, I have to wear this, and I can't do that, and I can't do this.
Speaker 5:But I think that's basically just going back to that there is something, like, we've either had a bad experience or there is something literally so wrong that we have, like, become like a different person and, like, just get distant with everyone or not really talk or not really do anything and try to be as good as you possibly can.
Speaker 4:You mean lacking emotional intimacy?
Speaker 5:Yeah. Like that. And then, just basically shutting down until when it's time to go. And then after you get back tomorrow, then you're all talky and everything. She asked how it went, and then you say, oh, yeah.
Speaker 5:It was great, but it actually wasn't great because that's a lot because you weren't actually being who you were. So that's not really makes it great at all.
Speaker 4:Right. Like, does it feel better on a day when you get home from school and I'm still finishing work, and then because I'm late finishing work, then we have to do chores real quick and then do dinner real quick and then go to bed? Or does it feel better on the days where when you get home, I'm off work, and we get to talk, and hang out, and do something, eat good food, and do some more? Like, that's all intimacy.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Right? When we're getting to do all of that. One thing that's happening though, is you have been living with me. You have been living with me and we have been growing together. And your memories of papa and the other kids are from the years you lived with them.
Speaker 4:They have also been growing, but you weren't there for it. So you're remembering a memory time version of them. And also because shiny happy splits things into good, bad, and right and wrong, sometimes they think there's a tendency tendency to do that with papa of he's right about this and wrong about this, or good here or bad here. As opposed to the nuances of papa generally, when you talk about things, is pretty good at listening and talking. He has his own opinions and they may differ from yours, but I have not known Papa to be hateful or cruel, even though I have agreed with him differently.
Speaker 4:You and then you.
Speaker 6:One thing that, back to, like, we're different people in Oklahoma is that, in Oklahoma, I feel like, yeah, I've become a completely different person. I'm like, I guess, would say more shut down like more reserved like I think before I say like I don't really like talk like well I do talk obviously but like in where we are in Washington like I'll just randomly drop the f bomb or something like that if I'm, like, in the mood for it. In the mood for In Oklahoma, we can't do that. Also I feel like I have to be like the perfect little daughter in front of papa. Like I'll just like pack a dress, maybe some bracelet even though like I do myself don't like wearing dresses but I know that in Oklahoma grandma and papa like kind of expect like that out of me especially on Sundays so like I'm not gonna like Sundays in Oklahoma.
Speaker 4:You even put braids back in your hair. You've been wearing your hair in a different way, but you asked for braids back in your hair before you came down.
Speaker 6:Because, that's how papa sees me.
Speaker 4:I noticed that.
Speaker 6:And I don't want him to, well, repeat what he did last year. I know he I don't know if he was intentionally being there, but well, words were not said, but they were texted and things were not said and
Speaker 4:It went to the wrong phone.
Speaker 6:Yeah, my phone. And, I'd already read the message. I just didn't tell him that. He was like, Hey, have you read this? And I'm like, No.
Speaker 6:And, it really kind of changed my view of him.
Speaker 4:I think this is a good example that you're bringing up, even if you don't wanna share the details of it publicly. I think it's a really good example because even when we're looking at nuance and complexity, it's true that your feelings are your feelings. And that can be binary of that hurt my feelings. That was unsafe for me. Those are binary statements, but that's accurate.
Speaker 4:And it's okay to own that, to feel that, to express that. You're not bad for having feelings. You're not wrong for having feelings. It doesn't take away from nuance or complexity in other ways. It's about this experience really hurt me and it's okay to say that.
Speaker 4:This experience, I felt betrayed by this. It's okay to say that, to feel that.
Speaker 6:Yeah, like one of the things I did say when, well, I first came out to him was that I felt I was betraying him. Like, because I felt like I was lying to him and I know it's private, but like, that's one of things I really want to share is that because I was apologizing the entire time saying I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm sorry I betrayed you. I'm sorry that I'm this way. And he was like Why are you apologizing?
Speaker 6:And I was like Because I feel like I've lied to you for years. And he's like, how are you supposed to know that you lied? Like
Speaker 4:It's developmental. Yeah. Yeah. I did not mean that you betrayed papa. I meant what his text said betrayed you.
Speaker 6:Yeah. But I
Speaker 4:Do you see how quickly we flip that on ourselves? When we have something happens with our caregivers, that's a rupture in the relationship, we so quickly flip it to think it's our fault instead of repairing it and just being okay with our feelings.
Speaker 1:Because we don't want it to be their fault. Yeah. We wanna think that they're an okay person at some moment. Someone
Speaker 4:Well, then Papa's never had someone come out to him before that was his child, right? And so he was learning too and maybe was not prepared in the same way or like, I don't mean making excuses. I just mean it's developmental for him too. So it's okay as part of his development and yours to be like, that really hurt my feelings when you didn't handle that well. I'm so sorry, love, that that happened.
Speaker 6:And I just want to say that maybe you all have different experiences but my experience was just like shining happy like maybe one day you'll all be brave enough and be like hey I'm this. My experience was at first I thought I was gay honestly because I had a crush on a girl and I was like what did that make me? I have no idea what bisexual was or any of this stuff. I was like, I have a question of girl. Does that make me a lesbian?
Speaker 6:Am I gay? What am I? And he was like, No. You've always had custom boys. And I was like, Yeah.
Speaker 6:So I did a whole heck lot of research. I I researched with mom and I researched with my friend who was really close with me and was trans male and really helped me and I've just done a lot of research and I know a lot more than I did when I was 14 when I first came out. I was like, papa, I think I'm gay. Yeah. He was like, no, you're not gay.
Speaker 6:And I was like, it's like this. Right.
Speaker 4:No one gets to tell you who you are. You figure that out. And it's developmental, right? Our first experiences when we're little bitty of who we're drawn to for friends or those first crushes are not the same as who you end up choosing as a life partner, right? So much changes and you're changing.
Speaker 4:So you get to explore it, but no one else can say, no, you're not this, or no, you're not that. You get to like that comes from within you.
Speaker 6:Okay. Let me get my kind of thought. My kind of Don't
Speaker 5:worry, I'm next. I've got a lot of things to say.
Speaker 6:Then I guess Papa and my relationship went from. From I always thought Papa were like my favorite. I used to favor Papa I swear. I mean yes I loved mom but papa was like the dad who never checked my room and never did surprise checks I have to be honest like I would when mom got home I would immediately like run to my room like got to be clean got to be clean and I said it dumped everything on my bed And in that moment, I was like, mom's my favorite.
Speaker 5:And
Speaker 6:so I came home from Oklahoma, and mom and I literally well, I guess, cried for hours.
Speaker 5:Did you watch Steel Magnolia?
Speaker 6:It's all the sad movies, beaches, college, drama, sisterhood, Steel Magnolia. Sad. That's the movie of all kind I have to see. Even if it's sad, if you don't want to watch it you don't have to but I recommend it if you want to cry. But when you want to cry you have to get the sad and emotion out.
Speaker 6:And then after that I did a lot more research. I still am researching and I still am questioning. I still am discovering. There's a lot to discover because there's so many out there it's not just oh you're gay or you're straight oh there's I guess I would say a rainbow because we literally use the rainbow.
Speaker 1:I'm black.
Speaker 6:We are a spectrum. Just one color. We're not just black and white. That's boring.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 6:I'm brown. I'm not black.
Speaker 5:I'm not
Speaker 6:just white. I'm brown.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 6:I'm in between. Whoop. Whoop. From the time I turn purple, but that's a whole different story because I just tan so much. I tan so well too.
Speaker 6:It's just one of things that I guess I'm glad to be a black person because I don't sunburn and my skin doesn't peel.
Speaker 1:Me neither.
Speaker 5:It's not my fault. I was born a Jinji.
Speaker 3:What's that, my fault?
Speaker 5:I didn't ask God. I didn't say, oh, God above. Please make me a Jinji.
Speaker 6:I got kind of racist, I would say.
Speaker 5:Would you like to add something, Barrett?
Speaker 6:No. Thank you.
Speaker 5:No? Finish me. Nico? Sorry.
Speaker 6:Actually, yeah, there's been been a lot of name changes. So but in Oklahoma, I go by Mary even though I guess it's not the name I prefer anymore. Yeah. I've gone through so many name changes a lot.
Speaker 5:Should we list them all? It's fine. You don't need to preach to papa if you don't want to.
Speaker 6:Oh, I can preach.
Speaker 5:I know you can preach. I'm saying you can't do that.
Speaker 1:So, luckily, papa had guard over his shiny happy self by the time I came out to him. So he's probably forgotten about when Mary came out to him because I asked him if Nico was
Speaker 5:On the spectrum?
Speaker 1:Yes. And he said no. So I was like, is he lying? Like, I looked in his eyeballs and they were shivering.
Speaker 3:Well.
Speaker 1:Because they were kind of like everywhere. I first
Speaker 6:after I came out of the day and he was like no no no. I know now it's bad. I forgive him. I forgive Henry because I don't think he understood and I didn't understand at the time. I came out as trans male and I feel like that's not me because I don't.
Speaker 6:How do I put it? I'm not necessarily like the stereotypical boy and I'm not really much of a boy and so that was dropped like two weeks later yeah it was a very awkward two weeks with papa
Speaker 5:I bet
Speaker 6:and oh
Speaker 1:yeah lots of stuff
Speaker 6:I've been I guess exploring a lot more like within the different genders and I'm not sure still. I guess there's a lot to explore. There's a lot of questions. Also, do not take a test. Do not touch up on the internet, am I gay?
Speaker 6:Test because 100% it will not be accurate and also nothing can tell you whether or not you are gay.
Speaker 3:Amen. Amen.
Speaker 6:Because no matter what happened it will like say yes you are 100% this or 100% that. You can't be one hundred percent one thing. Like you're not 100% white and you're not 100%. I'm not so many. How do I explain it?
Speaker 6:I have so many background and ethnicity that I'm not just brown. I am well, simply put, I'm so many different like, places like Ethnicities? Yes. Ethnicities. Thank you.
Speaker 6:I am losing my train of thought because I keep talking, and I
Speaker 4:You
Speaker 5:did great. Oh, well, so basically, I don't know. I didn't really do anything, which made me feel terrible. But now over the years, I've gotten better at stuff and now it's just easy to do. And there's also a time in every person's life where it happens sometimes.
Speaker 5:Some people don't wanna drive. Most people do. I really wanted to drive. And so I approached Papa about it. And what he said was, I don't want you to drive.
Speaker 5:It's basically like a gas tank. So basically, it's a bomb. And if you crash, you're gonna kill people. So so then I started feeling terrible that I was not good enough. So then I was like, yeah, I'll just get an electric bike.
Speaker 5:And he was like, yeah, that's a good idea. You could get a job, get an electric bike, just do that. Be safe. But like, that wasn't fair because it doesn't matter what kind of disability I have. I can still try if I want.
Speaker 5:So what if I crash?
Speaker 6:Like- They both have accidents?
Speaker 5:Yeah. Every person has had an accident probably. It's part of the process. Like, there's no reason to literally tell your kid you can't do this.
Speaker 4:And, also, a car is a really big weapon, I think is what he was trying to say if even if it didn't come out so smoothly. Like, a car killed my mom. Right? And I don't mean that as making you afraid to try driving. I mean that we really do have to take it seriously.
Speaker 4:I think any kind of developmental delay we need to talk about in terms of pacing with what you can do, as you can do, always pushing to be able to do more. You can do so much more than they ever said you could do. So driving hasn't happened yet, but you are in process of it becoming possible. Right? So taking the nose of the world and turning them into what do I think is possible, what is possible for me, and what do I need to support that possibility would be an example of making it more nuanced than the binary of, no, you can never do that.
Speaker 5:Like, when I went for appointments and mom said I'd get, like, three days of driving, I went with papa, obviously, but I just didn't yeah. I didn't really feel
Speaker 1:it
Speaker 5:because either I wasn't getting pushed or something wasn't happening. And it was quite heartbreaking and sad. But, you know, again, no one gets to tell you what you can and can't do. Doesn't matter what kind of you have. Doesn't matter what you're going through.
Speaker 5:Doesn't matter anything, basically. Sorry. A bird hit the window. You can do anything. Yeah.
Speaker 5:Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do anything. Who's next? There's another one.
Speaker 3:It's a bird. Okay. Stop. Birds if one more bird hits that window, a bird is designed to hit the window. Okay.
Speaker 3:Well, for one thing, it wasn't right for papa to tell you that you can't drive because you could just get a smart car which automatically breaks.
Speaker 5:Honey, also, first, I'd like to add to that. I don't want a car that does it for me. Want to drive to papa's house.
Speaker 1:He wants to prove that he can
Speaker 5:do it. I wanna drive to papa's house. I wanna get out of the car. I want him to say, let's I want to say, I'm gonna take you to the stories. He's gonna be like, okay.
Speaker 5:Go. I'm gonna follow all the rules. I'm going to drive the car myself. Nothing's gonna do it for me. And then I'm gonna get out of the car after not crashing, and I'm going to say, who who proved you wrong?
Speaker 3:Me. That's it. I was just thinking about Also, do. Sorry. I clapped.
Speaker 3:Also, when you're for me with papa, I can have to wait for this the whole entire time because no matter what, every single time it came my turn, one of you two is I just vape.
Speaker 5:So Go.
Speaker 1:Something to add?
Speaker 4:Okay. Kyrie, bird hit the window.
Speaker 5:You have the speaker. Okay. Curiate, you have the speaker is on you. What do you have to say?
Speaker 1:I like water.
Speaker 5:You like water? That's that's awesome.
Speaker 3:Curiate, look at me really quick.
Speaker 5:I like water too. Alright. Okay. So, Barrett, ready? Your turn.
Speaker 5:What? You can continue what you're saying. Kyrie, I just finished your stuff. Come on, guys. We're trying to have a good thing here.
Speaker 3:We're trying to, but bail it miserably.
Speaker 5:Okay. You're up.
Speaker 3:Oh, I'm on the strip. And, also, papa crashed our party.
Speaker 5:So
Speaker 3:Amber. Amber. Hi, Amber. Oh my goodness. It's your Amber.
Speaker 3:Hi, Kyle. Oh my goodness. Big old body.
Speaker 6:It's backed up so people
Speaker 3:can get in. Oh, yeah. Should we pause the thing? But No.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for listening to us and for all of your support for the podcast, our books, and them being donated to survivors and the community. It means so much to us as we try to create something that's never been done before, not like this. Connection brings healing. One of the ways we practice this is in community together. The link for the community is in the show notes.
Speaker 2:We look forward to seeing you there while we practice caring for ourselves, caring for our family, and participating with those who also care for community. And remember, I'm just a human, not a therapist for the community, and not there for dating, and not there to be shiny happy. Less shiny, actually. I'm there to heal too. That's what peer support is all about.
Speaker 2:Being human together. So yeah, sometimes we'll see you there.