The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast

If you hoped this year would feel lighter by now — but you’re still in the same hard place — this episode is for you.

In this honest and hope-filled conversation, Meredith Brock and Kaley Olson sit down with Sarah Freymuth to explore what God may be doing when the struggle doesn’t lift. Through Scripture and personal experience, Sarah reminds us that unanswered prayers aren’t signs of God’s absence — they can be invitations to deeper trust. If you’ve been asking “Why me?,” this episode gently invites you to shift the question to “What now, God?” and discover how God meets us in the valley.

You’ll learn:

  • Why God doesn’t always remove the hard thing — and what He may be doing instead.
  • How pain can reveal where we’ve placed our dependence.
  • The heart-shifting difference between asking “Why me?” and “What now?” to God.
  • How Scripture can become a lifeline when faith feels exhausted.
  • What it looks like to experience God’s presence even when circumstances don’t change.

Resources From This Episode:
  • All the Hard Things:  by Sarah Freymuth
    Walking through a season that feels heavy and unending? This 50-day devotional offers scripture, honest reflection, and gentle encouragement to help you keep going — one faithful step at a time — when the valley feels long.
  • Therapy & Theology Podcast
    If today’s conversation stirred up deeper emotions or questions, this podcast can help. Hosted by Lysa TerKeurst, licensed counselor Jim Cress, and Dr. Joel Muddamalle, Therapy & Theology helps you work through what you’re walking through with biblical Truth and therapeutic insight.
  • Click here to download a transcript of this episode
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What is The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast?

For over 25 years Proverbs 31 Ministries' mission has been to intersect God's Word in the real, hard places we all struggle with. That's why we started this podcast. Every episode will feature a variety of teachings from president Lysa TerKeurst, staff members or friends of the ministry who can teach you something valuable from their vantage point. We hope that regardless of your age, background or stage of life, it's something you look forward to listening to each month!

Meredith Brock: Well, hi, friends. Thanks for tuning in to the Proverbs 31 Ministries podcast, where we share biblical truth for any girl in any season. I'm your host, Meredith Brock, and I am here today with my cohost Kaley Olson.

Kaley Olson: Hey, Meredith. Well, friends, today, we are gonna get to hear from a new friend. Her name is Sarah Freymuth, and she is going to both challenge us and encourage us, for the struggles we're facing. And here's the context that I wanna give you as to why I feel like the timing of this episode is so, anointed, and I don't use that word very lightly. So, you know, I mean something whenever I say that word.

Mhmm. But we were just talking before we press record on the mic.

February can be such a depressing, dark month because for those of you who really went through some stuff in 2025, you probably started 2026 and thought, this is gonna be the year that I trust God in this. This is gonna be the year that I release control. This is gonna be the year that fill in the blank, whatever it is.

But January has gone, and February is here, and you're kind of in the same spot that you were in December, and you're going struggling, and I'm still the same, and I don't feel different. I don't feel changed. I don't feel like God is even here in this. And Sarah, I think, is gonna, like I said, lovingly challenge you to reconsider where and how God might be moving in the midst of your struggle. So that's all I'm gonna say. It's a really great teaching, and I can't wait for you guys to hear it.

Meredith Brock: It's a good one, Kaley, for sure. But before we let you go listen to that teaching, I wanted to share a really incredible story, with our listeners from one of our Therapy and Theology Podcast listeners.

She wrote in and let us know that after fifty years of marriage, guys, she found herself single because of her husband's affair. And she couldn't afford counseling, and her church didn't offer those resources or services. So the Lord so kindly led her to Proverbs Thirty-One Ministries, where she found our Therapy and Theology Podcast.

And she let us know that God carried her through the through one of the darkest seasons with those resources. And I wanted to share that with you guys today because not only does God show how kind he is to reach each one of us exactly where we need him in the way that we need him on time, But it also shows that, goodness, when you invest here at Proverbs thirty one, you're really making a real impact into real people's lives.

This woman did not have the resources or the place to go to get counseling and biblically sound counseling, but she was able to find it here at Proverbs thirty-one. And so I just wanted to say thank you to all of our friends who give. You make stories like this possible, and we are just really, really grateful for your faithful partnership in ministry here at Proverbs 31.

Kaley Olson: Yeah. Absolutely.

Meredith Brock: So such a gift. Alright. That's enough. I'm not gonna say anything. Let's get into today's episode.

Kaley Olson: Well, we are so excited to welcome Sarah Freymuth to the show today. Welcome, Sarah. How are you?

Sarah Freymuth: Hi. I'm good. It's so glad to be here or so good to be here with you.

Kaley Olson: Yeah. Here virtually. You are joining us from the great state of Wisconsin. So, from us southern gals, welcome to our Midwestern friend. We're so glad that you're here. Our audience has never heard from you before, so let me set you up first by introducing, you to our audience. And so, one, Sarah, like we already said, is from the Midwest, but what you really should know about her first is that she is a contributing writer for our Encouragement for Today devotions.

And so if you subscribe to those free devotions, chances are you've seen Sarah's picture at the top of your devotion and maybe read something really encouraging from her, and so I hope that that is true for at least some of you. But if not, I'll just say a small plug here. You should subscribe to those devotions for free because they're awesome, and you get to hear from people like Sarah. But outside of that, Sarah is also the content and building manager for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes, which is really awesome, Sarah. Can you like, before we dive into your teaching, what does that mean for you? Like, what what does your day to day look like in that job?

Sarah Freymuth: Yes. I get the honor of telling the stories of what God is doing around the world through coaches and athletes and our staff. So it would be interviewing a coach in Kenya or a huddle leader, which is our small group, in a high school in California and being able to share the heart of what got their lives to encourage and inspire other people in the realm of sports and faith.

Kaley Olson: That's awesome. I feel like Meredith, isn't it so cool that people's day to day jobs, outside of what they do for Proverbs 31, like people who write for our devotions are also in their own sphere of ministry, and sometimes I'm just reminded that things like P 31 are a part of such a greater global impact, that the Lord is using P31, but He's also using Sarah in her role through FCA, and that's awesome. I just listened to a podcast recently from a guy who is a part of FCA, and I thought, Oh, I forget about that organization and how big of an impact it's making.

Meredith Brock: So cool. Yeah. That's huge. That was I was unaware that FCA even existed. I grew up in the Northwest in Idaho, if anybody was wondering. And when I moved to the South, it was the first time I had ever seen or heard of FCA, and I was shocked when I started hearing the stories of what a huge impact they had.

Kaley Olson: So very cool people's very first way to actually hear about the Lord because people are a part of sports team. Like, who knows? Like, God is using high school students to, like, talk about their faith, and it's really awesome. And Sarah, I know that you also released a book titled All the Hard Things, fifty Days Through the Valley, which, I mean, what an incredible title, first of all, but I think, this is gonna be a message today from the book that you just wrote, and I know that listeners are all in different seasons right now facing their own hard things, and so I'm excited for this podcast episode to come out at the exact time it's I think it's gonna be appointed. And so I wanna turn the mic over to you now to share the message that God has laid on your heart.

Sarah Freymuth: Thank you. What if the very thing you're asking God to take away is the place he's trying to grow you? That's a hard question to ask, especially if you're in the middle of pain and suffering. No one likes to live in the valley, yet this is often the place we find ourselves when faced with darkness like illness, fractured relationships, infertility, loss, and disbanded dreams. James one two through four tells us to consider it pure joy whenever we face trials.

Pure joy? Does he know what we're going through? The loneliness, the confusion, the absolute dead end? How can we consider the underside of our life joy? Especially when the God we've held on to for so long seems to be hidden and unresponsive. What then? When we cry out into the relief and get no response. We take a breath and then another. We place one shaky foot in front of us and then another, and we look for the trail markers along the way that give us a guiding that goes toward the light we have to believe is there. Sometimes the only way toward dawn is through the dark, and upside down as it seems, it can be in this dark where treasures are revealed by the god who still sees us.

I am no stranger to struggle. Neither are you. No one comes out of this life unscathed. For me, these last six years have shaken my foundation and left me desperately trying to tape things back together. Whether it was major health issues like my stroke and heart procedure at age 33, an emergency appendectomy for my husband on our honeymoon, my husband's hospital stays, yes, stays, plural, During COVID, and heart arrhythmia, my own battle with long COVID and crippling anxiety and depression for years, it felt like out of the frying pan and into the fire.

I couldn't muster up the faith in a heart grown so utterly exhausted and scared, and I couldn't wrap my rattling head around how a good God could indeed see me in this state and leave me there. What could I do but throw my heart out to God in desperation with very little capacity for a deep dive into the theological ideas of suffering? I was just wanting and trying to survive. So I stuck to scripture like a lifeline, and when I could only hold to one characteristic of God that week, I wrote it out and placed it on repeat in my heart. I began to pull out truths from what I knew when feelings fought to tell me otherwise.
It went like this. My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Second Corinthians twelve nine and ten. Truth. Our weakness becomes the stage for god's strength.

And we know that for the love of God, all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans eight twenty eight. Truth. Even our hardest seasons are held in divine purpose. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Psalm twenty three four. Truth.

God's presence walks with us through, not around the valley. He who dwells in the shelter of the most high will abide in the shadow of the almighty. I will say to the lord, my refuge and my fortress, my god in whom I trust. Psalm ninety one through three. Truth. God shelters us and is our fortress, a refuge and place of safety. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you. Isaiah 40 truth.

We are completely surrounded by the presence of God in our pain. Slowly, tiny glimpses of grace gathered along this lonely path, and I found over time that God had given me himself in the shape of trees, friends, and family, a song through the speakers, good therapists, the cuddle of a puppy, and a steaming cup of coffee on a cold winter day. Would I want to remain in the in the fear and pain and unknown? No. But did I find treasures in the dark during these times?

Yes. I did. How do we endure the hard? How do we keep going when everything within us wants to turn around? Everything that came for six consecutive years felt like blows to my already broken and bruised body and psyche. My mental health was unbearable. My husband's trips to the ER were amiable. I was tired. I was scared, and my heart just plain hurt. Do you remember the last time your heart hurt?

It may even be right now. I want to say that I'm sorry you are hurting, and God is sorry for your pain. But you know what? He is hurting too. Isaiah fifty three reads, he was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and a grief. And as one from whom men hid their faces, he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Jesus knows your pain. He took pain on in a most powerful and personal way. He suffered so we would know he understands. For the joy set before him, it says in Hebrews twelve two, Jesus endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

For the joys of him, Jesus endured. Jesus endured the cross, and the cross was pain. There was something on the other side he saw and knew it would be worth it. As inside out as it seems, hard things are not signs of God's absence, but invitations to deeper trust and a time to experience more of who he is. Pain often exposes where we've placed our dependence on comfort, control, circumstance, or safety.

Fill in the blank for you, but there is some foundation we've built over Jesus that cracks when the storms of life come. We try to cover up these fault lines, but God does some of his deepest work in the places we most want to avoid. There is purpose in the pain. Now I'm not discounting the pain. I'm not blithely sweeping it away.

Life is hard, and what you may have experienced is more than you feel like you can handle and has been greatly upsetting. I recognize this, and I honor that pain. But I'm also reminding you that there is more at work in the unseen. Remember that passage in James one we read earlier, where we are to consider it all joy when we encounter trials? The second part of the passage is, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness and let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

Let's read those three verses together, James one two through four. Count it all joy, my brothers. You made trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. God's goal is to develop perseverance or steadfastness and maturity in our faith. Spiritual maturity is not escaping pain but allowing it to shape us into the likeness of Christ. Every struggle has spiritual growth can take root if we choose to stay present to it, and it is a choice. If we let him, God can grow our endurance and refine our faith until we look a little more like his son.

Let's ask ourselves, what might God be cultivating in me through this? Patience, compassion, humility, endurance, faith? So, there's perseverance in the struggle, and there's also the power of his presence. God never promised a life without valleys, but he promised his presence in them. In this world, you will have trouble, Jesus said in John sixteen thirty-three. But then he says, take heart. I have overcome the world.

His presence transforms fear into faith and suffering into sacred ground. It might not happen overnight, but nothing of substance usually does. We want out of dances, but sometimes victory isn't deliverance. It's endurance and waiting with trust and peace. And that's a hard one to swallow. But if we can let it marinate within our hearts and hold to the signs of his presence, spiritual muscles build, and faith finds its way through the fire. Think of your current valley.

What is it? Name it out loud if you can. And then pray, God, show me where you are here. Show purpose in this place. It's tiny, but did you catch the shift, The perspective swapped? Transformation happens when we stop asking, why me? And start asking, what now, God? When we stop trying to make sense of our circumstances and start looking for him within them, our trust becomes testimony and is born from the tension between our struggle and God's faithfulness. His peace is big enough to hold us. His has never left. In the dead of night, he huddles close even if we cannot see or feel.

How do we endure the hard? How do we go on? We go into today knowing today is enough and he is near. The one who endured so much pain and darkness did so that we would never have to face our heart alone. Surely, he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions. He was crushed for our iniquities. Upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds, we are healed.

Isaiah fifty-three four and five. Our good God came as a man bound with limitations, with a heart that felt the sting of rejection, who held the cavern of the world's pain as he prepared for his own to break wide open as he hung on the cross exposed, straining for breath in unimaginable torment that could not be quenched. For the joy Jesus endured, bore our grief, and crushed the sin that came for us. With his wounds, our own are healed. Our wounds are met with a sweet salve of his blood shed for us. His heart circled close to ours as we work through those midnight hours that leave tear streaks down our face, when we shutter from the most recent news from an already fresh relationship, when the calendar turns over another month and the heaviness doesn't lift.

Dear heart, hear this and remember, your struggle is not your punishment. It's strengthening your spirit. God's strength is most visible when yours runs out. The valley is temporary, but God remains with us within those wild spaces. And what he builds in you Thus says the Lord who makes on the sea, a path in the mighty waters, who brings forth chariot and horse, army and warrior. They lie down. They cannot rise. They are extinguished, quenched like a wick. Remember not the former things nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs forth. Do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Isaiah three sixteen through 19. Do we not perceive it? His way in the wilderness, his streams in dry land? Let us perceive it. Let us remember how he has come through for us before and build on those reminders to face today. I still wrestle with fear, and I know sickness will come again. Relationships will stay strained, and there are some losses grief will never gloss over. But our good God knows, and his heart is comforting ours. He is who he says he is, and he longs to walk you through the heart.

And when your legs give out along the way, he is certainly capable to carry you along with your sorrows. Here's a challenge. This week, instead of asking God to remove your hard thing, ask him to reveal himself through it. Posture your heart to receive and expect him to show up. Because he will, he is here where hard becomes holy, making a way. I'd like to pray for us as we close our time together. Lord, we are here in the hard and hurtful things of life. You know our cries, our hopes, and our heartache. Give us your presence and give us eyes to see you in new ways.

Help us to experience you in our struggles, trust you in our valleys, and believe you're working all things, even the hard things, maybe especially the hard things for our good and your glory. Hold us close, Lord. Give us glimmers of your goodness and let us remember how faithful you've been in the past and how you will still be faithful now. In Jesus' name, amen.

Kaley Olson: Amen.

Meredith Brock: Amen. Sarah, that was a really good word. Mhmm. A hard word, if I'm being honest, because so much of what we want to hear and I appreciated this in your teaching that you didn't say, Okay, guys. Here's what you're gonna do to make the pain go away. You know? Or, Here's the next here's the step that you're gonna do to make the struggle stop. You know?

But instead, you were honest with the fact that sometimes God lets it allows it to remain. And sometimes He allows it to remain and then more comes. You know? And that the goal is not necessarily the removal of the struggle, but it is that moving from and I wrote it down because I thought it was really simple but profound that moving from why me Mhmm. To what now God is a true it's that right there is putting words to a very significant heart and mind shift that we were actually created for. Like, we were created to walk in relationship with God as what now, God?

Kaley Olson: Yeah.

Meredith Brock: Like, what are we doing now?

Kaley Olson: Yeah.

Meredith Brock: You know? Not, me, why me? It's there's that shift from me, me, me to us, us.

Kaley Olson: Yes. I think That I think is so profound. I agree. I agree. And I think too, if we focus only on the outcome, that ignores the day, and we can only do today. Yeah. Like, the outcome might be, like I mean, Sarah, you struggled for six years. You know? And I know you told us about a struggle that was six years ago, but like you said, towards the end of your teaching, sickness is gonna come again. I mean, like, it's a constant, like, pattern, but I think the whole identity shift is why me is it is a to what now. It's like it's a reminder that the bigger picture is we're not our struggles, and that gets us so selfish and isolated. So that's a great point, Meredith. And Sarah, I have a question for you that I think we can unpack a little bit more with our listeners. About the middle of your teaching, you said, Pain signals where we have placed our dependence. And I was like, Oh, I've never thought about that before, but that's very true.

It's an example of God using the hard thing to shape us and make us more like him, but can you walk us through your struggles, and if you would be so kind to open up a little bit about, like, what did your pain signal in you as what you were placing some of your dependence on in those years?

Sarah Freymuth: Yes. I can name let's see. Mine are control safety. I was one where when I hurt especially during, long COVID and my just mental health struggles, I, like, clawed at anything for a semblance of, like, answer. Why this is happening? How this is happening? What can I do to get out of it? So like you were just saying, the external, like, moving out of it. And, really, as I wrestled with it, like, at the core of it, it really just gets to the core of what is going on. It's like, do I trust God?

I mean, it always comes down to trust, but do I trust him that even when I feel like I am losing control of myself, my body, my mind, just even walking through a lot of spiritual discontent and unknowns, you know, can I be okay with the mystery of not knowing, not understanding

And letting God be who he is Mhmm. Even when that might not be who I've imagined and pictured him to be. Mhmm.

Kaley Olson: Yeah. Oh, man. That's so good. I think too, like, grasping for information, in today's day and age, you can go to Instagram and look up. Like, doctors are on Instagram all the time posting all this information. Like, it's so easy. Even for a Google search. ChatGPT and AI will automate a response for you. You don't even have to look up articles.

It's just I think we're so tempted to jump quickly into even identifying what we think the purpose and the pain is, more than leaning on the Lord, and I think that that's where we're reminded that our dependence has to be on Him. It's so challenging too, And I've started to ask myself this question. Is he really enough? Is he like, is it him? And I think that that's what you're getting to hear, Sarah. Like, at the end of the day, outcomes are awesome, and what he can do is awesome. What he can provide is awesome. But what does it truly mean to be dependent on him out of a love for him, not just what he can do for you in this?

And I was challenged by your teaching. I saw you should see my and Meredith’s notes over here. They're just like nuggets. I can tell she's a writer because she's spoken nuggets like that and so many takeaways. But as we wrap up, Sarah, will you read that prompt one more time again? What do you want listeners to do after teaching?

Sarah Freymuth: Yes. Instead of asking God to remove your hard thing, ask him to reveal himself through it.

Kaley Olson: Oh, man. Okay. That is good. That is a challenge for you guys. And as we wrap up today, for those of you who are walking through the valley, I wanna encourage you to get Sarah's new devotional book, All the Hard Things, Fifty Days Through the Valley. And, Sarah, what I appreciate about your resource is that it's fifty days long, which seems like a long time because it is. The valley is never, like, five days long.

Seasons don't last just a week, and so I appreciate that you took the time to create a resource that can walk with people through their hard season weeks at a time. Friends, this resource can be something you hold closely as you take it one step at a time, and we have linked it for you in the show notes below.

Meredith Brock: Yeah. And I also wanted to mention, Kaley, I realized that this particular subject matter Mhmm. May stir up some things for folks, who are facing something really, really hard. And I wanted to point out their resource that Proverbs 31 offers, which is our other podcast called Therapy and Theology. It is with Lysa TerKeurst, Jim Cress, and Dr. Joel Muddamalle, where they you know, the tagline for it is where they help you work through what you're walking through.

And what's really cool about that podcast is that, Jim is a licensed professional counselor, and they tackle some really hard issues in there. Joel has a Ph.D. in Theology. He is there to unpack it from a scriptural standpoint. Joel is Jim is there to really unpack some sound. Therapeutic. Methods that will help people really work through some stuff. And Lysa likes to make the joke that she just brings all the issues. So, she owns it, we'll say it on her behalf. But folks, I'd love for you to go take a listen to that.

If you are finding yourself in a season, of trying to get some help on some very specific maybe, counseling type things that you haven't been able to find any resources, especially biblical ones. So, lastly, we'd like to thank all of you who make this podcast free for our listeners. By partnering with Proverbs thirty-one Ministries, you're not just supporting us and keeping the lights on, you're actually bringing light into dark moments where women are facing hard things every single time you donate to this ministry. So, thank you to all of those, who are our financial partners.

Kaley Olson: Yeah. Absolutely. Well, friends, that is all for today. At Proverbs thirty-one Ministries, we believe when you know the truth and live the truth, it changes everything.