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Welcome to Flip the Script with Vic, your weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective. I’m your host, Victoria Nielsen. Together, we’ll unwind all the things you thought you knew, and awaken to what’s truly possible when you flip the script on your reality and take control of your own life.
Speaker A [00:00:00]:
Hi, loves. Welcome to another episode of Flip the script with Vic. I'm your host, Victoria Nielsen. I am so excited to connect with you guys today. I feel like it's been forever. Even though I just released a podcast last week, it was one that was pre recorded from when my grandfather passed. So this is the first time I've been live on the mic in a couple of weeks, and it feels really good to be back. I wanted to chat today about following your intuition and a lot of the lessons that I learned after holding women's circles in six different cities over these last six months.
Speaker A [00:00:36]:
And for those that don't know, I wrote a book that was released in March. Find Your Way Home moving Through Miscarriage Poems and Practices to Reclaim Your Light After Loss. And it's a three part book that speaks to the story of my miscarriage, but then has all of these poems that just flowed from my heart over my years of healing. And then I have practical practices at the back of the book that helped me move through. So things like breath work, journaling dancing, all of the things that I'm always talking about here on the podcast. And I wasn't going to do a book tour. I really just honestly was scared. I was scared that if I did a book tour in bookstores reading the book, people wouldn't show up, that it would just be me all by myself.
Speaker A [00:01:24]:
And I also really didn't feel like that did the book justice because I just felt very self grandizing and self referential in the reading of these poems. And I don't know, I did try, sort of. So in April, I was going home to Key West to visit and my mom loves her local bookstore. And so I was like, okay, let me just reach out and see. And I did, and they were kind of like, we're good, no thanks. But then following my intuition, I reached out to a friend who was holding yoga events, and I was like, can I just come and lead something? Or maybe just read the book at the end, I don't know. And she gratefully, was like, you should check out the QS Yoga Sanctuary. And so that's where I held my first book event.
Speaker A [00:02:18]:
And I followed my intuition because I was like, wow, wouldn't it be really cool if I could just bring some of these practices from the book to life? If I could hold a women's circle that embodies all of the things that I mentioned in this book. And even if women haven't experienced miscarriage, that's okay. They can still get something out of the circle. And so the woman at the yoga sanctuary, Erica, who's amazing, said yes. And of course, again, I was nervous, right? Like, is anyone even going to show up? Does anyone care? And thankfully, my hometown really turned out for me, and it was really cool to have this full circle moment, because I feel like when you go back to your hometown, you automatically probably put on this old skin or this old version of yourself. And I had grown so much. I mean, I go back to my hometown a lot because my family still lives there. But it was this full, embodied moment for me to see that these things that I'm teaching, these things that I'm sharing with the world, I'm bringing them to my hometown community, they're accepting of them.
Speaker A [00:03:19]:
They're accepting of this new version of me. And that really gave me a lot of confidence. And so I said, what if we kept this going? What if I just went to different cities where I have amazing friends doing different things and held women's circles, and let's just see how long we can do it. And I was able to do it for six months in a different city every single month. I went to Key West, I held one here in Atlanta, I held one in Denver, I held one in New York, I held one in Austin, which actually I really need to share about that one because it was a big lesson learned. And my last one I held just recently in Duxbury near Boston, Massachusetts. And the cool thing of the way this all unfolded was just that I again, kind of had a roundabout idea of friends I wanted to do this with or cities I wanted to visit, and they really just unfolded so naturally. And like Denver for mean that wasn't even on the list.
Speaker A [00:04:20]:
And all of a sudden my husband was like, well, maybe we should go hiking in Denver over the 4 July. And I was like, well, I have an amazing friend Angela there that would be really cool. Let me just see if I could make this happen while we're there. And sure enough, she was free, available, had an amazing space for us to use, was super down to collaborate, and it was one of my favorite circles. They were all completely different. And it just turned out so cool because I trusted that what was going to unfold was going to unfold the way that it should. And I didn't do it the way that everyone else did. I didn't do the traditional book tour, so I kept calling it my nontraditional book tour.
Speaker A [00:05:00]:
And that felt really right to me. And I think I learned more about myself, but also just some big life lessons as part of this entire process that I really wanted to share today. So the first, as I mentioned, was trusting and following your intuition. And even if it means doing things completely differently or doing things a way that's never been done before, if it feels right to you, follow it and do it because you have no idea how it could turn out. I never thought I would have continued for six cities, and that some of the magic that was created would get to be created because they're things that will never appear in the world again, or at least not exactly the way that they were, right? Because they were live experiences in the moment. And that's really fucking cool. And if I had said no, I needed to do it the way that everyone else did it, I think I know I would have been disappointed. It wouldn't have been as joyful, it wouldn't have been as connecting, because that, for me, is what it really came down to in the end, was connecting to other women that have experienced this trauma, but also just other women in general.
Speaker A [00:06:07]:
Because when women come together in sacred circle, we heal at the deepest level, and then we amplify that healing because of all of the combined energy of all of the women. You know, that first circle in Key West was my experiment, and actually I reached out to this amazing local kombucha place and they donated. And it really was like a rallying of friends and family around me that I didn't even know I needed. That showed me that I was supported in ways that I didn't even know, because people showed up for me that I didn't even expect. And it was really cool to kick off the tour that way. And so then I held a circle here in Atlanta, and I feel like that one was beautiful, but it didn't feel as expansive as some of the others because I think I played it safe. I did something I knew, I partnered with a beautiful friend, and it doesn't take away from the experience at all. It was still magical and beautiful, but it was, again, just doing something I was familiar with.
Speaker A [00:07:09]:
And so that in itself was a lesson that doing things that are familiar just don't expand you or stretch you out of your comfort zone. But it was beautiful to connect with the women here in Atlanta and to have their support and encouragement. And it really helped me grow in my hometown studio, if you will, or grow my audience, I should say, in my hometown studio. And my best friend flew in, and that was beautiful. And then we get to New York, and New York floored me, because this lesson that I learned from this circle was that you never know who's watching and who is inspired by you and what you're doing. Every single woman that showed up to that circle knew of me. And I had done some things previously for the studio in New York, and I'm a good friend with the owner, Tiffany. She's amazing.
Speaker A [00:08:05]:
But I didn't realize to the extent that people read the book or I held a class beforehand leading Kundalini yoga sessions so that people could get to know me. And people that came to that class came to my live circle. Women dropped their plans to come and see me, and once they realized I was there, made an effort to come and wow, what a feeling when someone makes an effort for you, makes you feel really seen. And it really showed me that maybe there's some areas in my life that I need to make a greater effort in, or people in my life that have always supported me, that I need to make a greater effort in supporting. Because what a simple thing for these women to show up. And it floored me, I was absolutely floored. And again, it was kind of this full circle moment because I lived in New York in my early twenty s and I was a hot mess express, man. I was battling an eating disorder, I was going out partying every night.
Speaker A [00:09:05]:
And again, you're in your early 20s, but it was really destructive. I left New York, thankfully in the nick of time before any of these habits really stuck, if you will. And so to come back again and be this healing person in this healing space, holding space for women instead of going out and partying and being destructive, was just really cool. And I really had a moment of inner child healing or inner teenager healing even to just say thank you for all of the lessons, but then all of these beautiful women that came to support me and show me that I am worthy of doing these things. And then after New York, we went to Denver. And so, like I said, Denver was just, it came together so fluidly and so magically. And the lesson that I learned in Denver was that you are better together. That collaboration with other women can be so fruitful.
Speaker A [00:10:02]:
And I knew this because I do love to collaborate and I don't think other women are my competition, but to do it so fluidly with my friend Angela was amazing. She held a dance circle as her portion. So I led the beginning of the circle and did some breath work. And then she is really all about movement and moving your mood through dance. And I have a dance background, so I really resonated with that. Especially because as part of the healing of the miscarriage, I did a lot of dancing and moving and shaking my body and just getting the emotions and the energy out. And it was just so cool to collaborate with her because it was amazing to watch her shine and to be able to bring light to some of the stuff that she does. Because yes, some of the women that came to the circle were friends with her already, but a lot of them were my friends too.
Speaker A [00:10:49]:
And so it was a beautiful cross pollination of our respective tribes, if you will, and the merging of them together and hopefully connecting new friends in Denver and beyond, but also just bringing women together for an experience that had never been done like that before. We collaborated actually in Costa Rica at a retreat that we were at together. And that's how I knew that this would be magical. But this was a little bit different than the circle we held in Costa Rica. And it was amazing nonetheless, because, again, we actually chose the emotion of celebration. So obviously a miscarriage is not a celebratory thing. But as you move through the anger and the grief and the sadness, you get to a point of celebrating that you're through it, that you have experienced it, and that you're on the other side and you're feeling better. And so it was a really marvelous thing to be able to bring that experience of celebration and of joy to an event that is a taboo conversation, an event that is inherently sad and that most wouldn't think is joyful.
Speaker A [00:11:55]:
And I think we were able to bring that because we didn't dwell on the sad parts, we dwelled on the happy parts and on the coming out of the other side and of the surviving and of the thriving after something like that, that can really alter the course of your life like it did then. You know, after Denver, we waited a little bit and I was going to Austin. And it's interesting, I was really excited to go to Austin. I actually booked a photo shoot at the same time with an amazing photographer and nobody showed up. Not a single person came to the circle in Austin. And that was a lesson in and of itself, too, that trusting the universe. Because my photo shoot was the next morning, really early in the morning at like 06:00 a.m. Or something.
Speaker A [00:12:46]:
And if I had held space for women the night before, I don't know that I would have had the energetic capacity to be 100% at the photo shoot, which is all about me and my energy and really showcasing me. And so instead, the beautiful woman that I partnered with, Mary, she was able to just give me a sound bath. So I got a solo sound bath from this amazing practitioner who held space for me before I had this big moment, this pivotal moment that was immortalized on photo and in film, and it was really what I needed. And so I actually look back at the Austin circle fondly, even though it didn't happen, and even though someone would say, oh, that's not successful because you didn't have a single person show up, that's fine. That was what was meant to happen. And yes, in the moment, I was disappointed, of course, who wouldn't be? But I was able to see the other side of the coin and see what a gift it was to be able to spend this time with my friend Mary, who I wouldn't have been able to see otherwise. But then also to receive such a gift from her of holding space and of giving me a sound healing and really grounding my energy into Austin. Before I went to this photo shoot the next day, and so that was just a big lesson in trust, but also reframing what's happening.
Speaker A [00:14:06]:
Right. If you really believe that things are happening for you and not to you, how can you shift your perspective on something that potentially others could perceive as negative? Right. I could have perceived as that means, oh, I'm terrible. I'm shit, I'm nobody. Nobody wants to be here with me. No. All the women that I know in Austin wanted to come. They just had other things happening, and everyone has busy lives, and so it's not always about you.
Speaker A [00:14:32]:
And actually, I think that was a really beautiful lesson as well from holding these circles, is that it wasn't all about me. The first circle maybe started that way, but as the circles went on, it was about the other women that I was collaborating with. It was about the women in the circle and what they were experiencing and awakening to and realizing. And it was about collaboration, and it wasn't even about the book anymore. I talk about the book at the beginning of the circles and then would read some of the poems from the book at the end of the circles, but it was not the main thing anymore. And that was actually really amazing that it was this vehicle to get all of this energy and community started, but it wasn't the main focal point. And what a great lesson to show you that it's not all about you. Even though you are the main character in your own story, you're not the main character in everybody else's story, and that's okay.
Speaker A [00:15:29]:
That's not who you're meant to be and who you are to them and what you bring them with. Your presence changes from moment to moment on experience to experience, and that's okay. And can you objectively look at this thing and say, it doesn't matter, it doesn't affect me negatively? I could have said, oh, my God, I don't want to host any more circles. Nobody showed up in Austin. I don't want to do this. And I didn't. I said okay. Cool.
Speaker A [00:15:56]:
We're going to do another one in Duxbury in Boston, and it's going to be amazing. And it was so cool. My friend Ryan is trained in this biomagnetism therapy where she uses the polarity of magnets to realign your magnetic field and the positive and negative ions in the body. And so we correlated magnets to emotions during our circle, and this circle was such a beautiful one to end on because the women were so vulnerable and shared so much about their experiences. And we did a sacral chakra, a womb space release ceremony. And so it was truly, really cool. I mean, it was just so cool to see that the magnets and the magnet pairs could bring out the emotions. So we placed a magnet on the heart to amplify love and then placed a second magnet somewhere else in the body.
Speaker A [00:16:51]:
Whether it was triggering for shame or sadness and guilt was the last one. And then you leave the magnets in the body for 15 minutes and you can feel it. I put the magnet on my heart and I was like, whoa. My whole body shifted and adjusted. And it was just so powerful to be able to witness these women and their vulnerability and their ability to be so open and release in a sacred space together. And I think that lesson was just that people can surprise you and experiences can surprise you know, you wouldn't think maybe that this little community in Boston would be open to some of these spiritual things, but they so were. They were so there for, you know, I think any preconceived notions that you have about anything in your life need to go out the window because it could be so much better than you expect it to. You know, I think at the end of this too, it has me thinking a lot about the definition of success.
Speaker A [00:17:53]:
And on paper, this book tour, quote, unquote, probably wasn't successful. I didn't make any additional money. I mean, I broke even for all the studio spaces that I rented. Yes, people bought books. Yes. People bought Oracle cards. Yes, I made amazing connections with other women, but on paper, to say business wise, it probably broke even. But in my heart and in my spirit and in my growth as a teacher and a spaceholder and a friend and a collaborator, holy cow.
Speaker A [00:18:26]:
The energy and the momentum of the last six months is just going to propel me forward for years to come. And all of the lessons are outside of the box. Lessons. They're not things that I would have thought that I would have learned and I would 1000% do it again tomorrow. Because even if it's not, quote, unquote, successful in the masculine world, it was super successful to me in my divine feminine and in the way that I want to run my business and the way that I want to be in the world. Each of the circles came about super intuitively, supernaturally, and it was a lot of fun to get to do this with my friends and to be able to travel and see some friends in different cities that I had never even met before. I had never even met Ryan in person, which is crazy. Pardon me.
Speaker A [00:19:14]:
My throat chakra is like super clearing right now talking about this. But Ryan and I were Internet friends. I joke. We met during the Pandemic as part of a Kudolini business community. And I made a point to extend these friendships and actually meet a lot of these women. I got to meet even more of them in April, like an event that had nothing to do with my women's circles. But these female friendships are important. Staying in touch with your friends and meeting new friends is so important.
Speaker A [00:19:48]:
It's so hard to make friends as an adult. I don't know about you guys, but I'm not here for all of that small talk and chitter chatter and tell me about the weather and bullshit. I want to go deep with you. I want to learn your life story. I want to really go there. And I feel like I'm really grateful for all of the amazing, amazing women that I've got to meet over the last couple of years through the Internet because of the pandemic. And then getting to see them and meet them in real life has just been like, holy shit. So I kind of went off on a side tangent about friendship, but I really learned a lot these last six months doing these women's circles, and I can't wait to see what my intuition guides me to next.
Speaker A [00:20:30]:
And I can't wait to follow that nudge and that leap, because when you're creating from that space, when you're creating from joy and abundance, it ripples out to everything around you. When you're creating from scarcity or lack or I have to do this, that energy is in whatever you're creating, and people can feel that. And I feel like there was a definite shift in my energy in holding these circles because it wasn't about making money and it wasn't about really I mean, yes, it was about the book, but it wasn't so hit you over the head about the book. It was about all of these other things, and that's what carried the message of the book. That's what carried things, because I was embodying all the stuff that I talked about in the book and showing people what it's like when you're able to move through these really deep, dense emotions into another version of yourself. When you use these things as a catalyst for change, instead of just letting them bury you or keep you down, you rise again and again and again and again. And so I hope if you take anything from this episode, it's that that you can rise again and that your version of success can be completely different than everyone else's. And that's perfect, and that's okay.
Speaker A [00:21:43]:
And that's how it's meant to be. So thank you for being here with me, for listening. I cannot wait to share. I've got a lot of fun stuff coming up. I've got a retreat in April. I'm going to be sharing more about here soon. Holding a you are the Oracle soul led business masterclass here on October 20. I will leave the information in the show notes.
Speaker A [00:22:12]:
You can join live, or there will be a replay available afterwards. And then, of course, I have my beautiful On Demand kundalini and Breathwork Membership, the portal collective where you get a new meditation journal, prompt playlist, all the yummy stuff every single month to support you on your journey to healing and empowerment. Thanks so much, guys. Be good to one another. I love you. Bye.