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In this episode, Dani talks about a No-Spend Challenge she recently did, how gratitude can help us all, & how both of these help us be creative!
For links & recommendations, see full episode notes.
Dani is honest and refreshing in her takes on the world and society. Listen as she explains how she’s come to understand the world through kindness, both towards ourselves and everything else.
[0:00] Hey-o! It’s me Dani, and welcome to my podcast Understanding Kindness. I coming at ya with an interruption to the story I’ve been telling y’all. I’m not even sure if I’ll continue with that story any time soon. Right now I’ve got lots of other episode ideas, but there’s always the chance I’ll revisit it in the future. Who knows! This podcast has really just been whatever the fuck I wanna talk about, which I love! Hopefully y’all don’t mind too much and will indulge me. Today I want to talk about a No-Spend Challenge I recently did in November, and of course there’s more than just that. We’ll end up talking about gratitude, but there’s a lot in between. So, to find out how I came full circle, stay tuned! And welcome to this episode of Understanding Kindness.
[0:44] (Theme).
[0:56] From where I record these episodes, I want to acknowledge that I am on the traditional land of the Kiikaapoi People, of the Peoria People, of the Bode’wadmi People, of the Myaamia People, and of the Ochethi Sakowin People. These Peoples were forced from their homes by colonizers. Their histories are continuing to be erased and in my acknowledgment today I want to shed light on their suffering and on their resilience. If it weren’t for their resilience we wouldn’t be hearing about them today. If it weren’t for their resilience, the colonizer would’ve been successful in fully erasing their culture and their identities. We all have something to learn from a People who continuously stand up and resist centuries of racism & hatred. If you’d like to learn more about the traditional lands that you’re occupying, visit native-land.ca.
[1:48] So, I recently finished a No-Spend Challenge for the month of November. I heard about No-Spend Challenges from Amber of Fairly Local Vegan & Fairly Local Life on YouTube. Amber’s been doing No-Spend Challenges for quite a while and invited their viewers to participate with them & their family in No-Spend November. I decided to give it a try! I hadn’t done a No-Spend Challenge myself but had watched Amber do them over years and years and was finally inspired, after lots and lots of learning, to do one myself! Each week Amber uploaded a video talking about the previous week and how the No-Spend Challenge was going for them. Amber talked about unexpected expenses that came up, their grocery budget and how much they ended up spending, and really just anything that made it more challenging, but also how they got through it. Sometimes it was easier for them to put something out of their mind that they wanted, but other times they caved, and that’s okay!
[2:42] Amber talks about how when we want something and are able to get it right away it depletes out No-Spend Muscle. Our No-Spend Muscle is used when we say no or not right now to what we want. Amber calls it a muscle because it works in the same way that a bicep or a calf muscle work, it needs to be exercised in order to be used. It works that way because all of the mind is a muscle. In order for us to learn more about something we have to flex the muscles in our mind associated with that specific something. Or in other words, we have to activate those neurons in the brain that are associated with that something in order for your brain to produce more neurons and neural pathways associated with that something. So, to be able to have more knowledge about that something, we must start with the little knowledge of it that we already have. Now if you thought that was a tangent, settle in because I’m gonna go even deeper. I’ll attempt to make my thoughts as understandable as possible, but bare with me ‘cause they are jumbled.
[3:42] So, our No-Spend Muscle is only relevant when we have the idea of spending money, and that idea is only relevant because we have the concept of money. If we didn’t have money then the No-Spend Muscle wouldn’t be a concept that we have and use. But why do we strive to use the No-Spend Muscle? It may seem pretty obvious at first, so we don’t spend money carelessly, right? Well, yes, that is right. But why don’t we want to spend our money carelessly? Of course, we know this answer too: so we have enough money to live and we’re not “wasting” our money. Okay, we seem to have gotten to the bottom of that. Now let’s ask, what is this want to spend or “waste” money and where does it come from?
[4:28] If we’re spending money to live and on things we want now, how did People live or get these things before money was a thing? Why do we want more than we need?
[4:40] Many of us here in the US live lives of privilege. A lot of us are born into homes, homes that already have our basic needs met. Clean, running water, a stocked fridge, four walls and a roof, clothes to keep us warm, and if we’re really lucky, a family that loves and cares for us. We don’t even have to think about survival because we’ve never had to experience it since we do have so much. Our lives here are so easy that we forget how hard it could be, and that others are literally just trying to survive right now. It’s not our faults for our parents’ giving us this life, of course they’d want an easy life for us. Of course every parent wants an easy life for their child. We who live here in the US and have our basic needs met everyday, since we don’t have to worry about today’s or tomorrow’s survival, begin to want other things. And since that want for other things is the only thing present, since we don’t have to worry about surviving, we feed that want. We feed it, instead of our bodies and minds. We feed it, and we find that it only grows hungrier. But how? I just bought this new shirt to satiate that hungry want.
[5:59] How indeed. Wanting is complex, but also very simple. We all want something, whether that’s a material object, a certain trait, a tool for our survival. How though, do we go from wanting the things that will actually help keep us alive and living to wanting something that we think is cool for a bit and then discarding it because we found that it wasn’t actually that cool? There seems to be something fundamental missing here, and I think I have the answer.
[6:32] I’ve just finished reading Braiding Sweetgrass by Dr. Robin Wall Kimmerer. If you’ve read this book, you probably have an idea of what I believe the answer is. Dr. Kimmerer is a botanist, a teacher, and Bode’wadmi. They grew up learning, from their father, the ways of their People, but Dr. Kimmerer is also white and grew up in mainstream US society. So as much as their father taught them the Bode’wadmi ways, they still lived their life in the society that most of us in the US are so used to. Dr. Kimmerer went on to get their doctorate in biology and learned the Latin words for and scientific ways of the plants. So, armed with the Latin names for the plants, the scientific knowledge of plants, and the ancestral ways of their Bode’wadmi People, Dr. Kimmerer sees and understands the world in a- in a unique way that most of us never get to know. Luckily for us, they didn’t keep all this information to themself.
[7:27] Braiding Sweetgrass is probably one of, if not thee most beautiful book I have ever read. Dr. Kimmerer so eloquently brings us into their world and the world of the plants. Weaving seamlessly between Western scientific knowledge and the Native understanding of and cooperation with plants, Dr. Kimmerer allows the reader a glimpse into how they see and understand the world…and what a beautiful world it is! They don’t just bring us along for the journey either, they show us how to see and understand the world as they do. The overall theme of the book is gratitude- being thankful for all that we have, all the life that is taken to sustain ours. Indigenous Peoples understand our place on Earth because they listen to the teachings of those that were here before us human animals. They see the whole world as someone to learn from, as someone who will teach us how to be human. Dr. Kimmerer discusses how Indigenous knowledge explains and knows things that Western science couldn’t even begin to explain. They also discuss the science behind Indigenous ways and why they work. Whether it’s which plants grow best together to yield the largest harvest, or why Black Ash trees make the best baskets, Dr. Kimmerer works out the understandings with such enthralling language (mostly in English, but also using Latin and Bode’wadmi) that I never wanted the book to end.
[8:52] Dr. Robin Wall Kimmerer was being taught gratitude for all that Earth has given to us. They were taught to respect the land and give back to the land as Earth has given to us. Showing our gratitude for what we already have is what keeps that hungry want at bay. How can we be hungry for something when we have all that we need, and more!, already and we are grateful for that? Since I’ve begun showing gratitude for everything in my life already and seen how much time and energy I put into it, I don’t have or want time for wanting anything else. I have all that I could ever want already. Sure the hungry want comes creeping up sometimes, but I’ve realized that that usually only happens when I’ve been forgetting to be grateful for what I already have. When gratitude is present and all-encompassing in your life, you won’t feel the hunger of the wanting, but when we notice it creeping in, we can look at it as a sign that we’re not being grateful enough, and so we can put our time and energy into that and we’ll be taught the lesson to always be grateful.
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[10:03] Money is a bitch. It’s a convenience really, and to me, convenience is a bitch. Just today I was extremely hungry, like I-had-been-awake-for-6-hours-and-only-eaten-half-a-bagel-with-avocado-on-it hungry. I was ready for a quick meal, but of course none of the leftovers looked at all appetizing to me. Don’t you really dislike when that happens? You’re super hungry but you don’t want anything that you already have at home. Yeah, that’s what I was going through. So I started talking to Jorge about how I was hungry but didn’t want anything we already had. I asked if there was anything he wanted to order. I started gazing at some online menus of different local restaurants around us, looking at what I’d get if I ordered from there. We both knew we had leftovers in the fridge, but had both known that annoying nothing-looks-appetizing hunger. It was then that I thought, “money’s a bitch”. If money weren’t a thing, or if I simply didn’t have enough money, I wouldn’t even have the option to consider looking at a menu to buy myself food when I already have an entire fridge full of leftovers! Jorge had to agree and encouraged me to make something with the leftovers. I knew then that my gazes would be just that, gazes. I was gonna have to use my brain to think of something I thought would be appetizing from these leftovers. And surprisingly, the idea came pretty quickly (I think I was probably just that hungry). I made myself the other half of the morning bagel with the other quarter of the morning avocado and leftover soyrizo I had on top & an apple on the side. It was all really delicious. I thanked Jorge for encouraging me to not buy something and I’m proud of myself for flexing that No-Spend Muscle, and that Creativity Muscle.
[11:57] There’s an episode of Unlocking Us where Brené and Dr. Scott Sonenshein talk about creativity. In the episode, Dr. Sonenshein tells us about how more access to resources hinders our creativity, while less access to resources cultivates creativity and innovation. When we have anything we could possibly want or need at our disposal, why would we even need to be creative? Why do we even need to think outside the box? The box has been provided for us and it works so why would I even think about something different? But just think, if we didn’t even have a box to contain ourselves, the possibilities are endless. When we have very little at our disposal, we’ll make do. We don’t need everything to be convenient to us, in fact, I’d argue that nothing should be convenient. Of course resources help us to a degree, but once that degree has been met, resources are usually used for convenience, and convenience hinders creativity. Dr. Sonenshein tells us to ask ourselves, “How can I be productive, creative with what I already have?” This happens to me somewhat frequently: I’m making food and need something to put over the pot. I look around everywhere for the pot’s lid, but can’t find it. Suddenly, I’ll realize that I can use any pot lid that’s as big or bigger than the pot I’m using and BAM problem solved. Usually there’s a pot lid or something like that right in front of me to use instead. Small example, but exactly my point.
[13:34] Something else to think about: Why would I be grateful for something that I can easily replace as soon as it ceases to work for me? Especially if it won’t cost me much! What’s even the point? Essentially it’s worthless to me since it’s so replaceable…but the thing is, it’s not worthless. You are spending your money and time on replacing this something, when all along you could be spending your time being grateful for what you have and saving that money.
[14:03] Most of us don’t need more, therefore we can make do with what we already have. Of course there may be times when you literally, physically cannot do something, those are not the times I’m talking about. I’m talking about all the other times when we make excuses for why we can’t do things. I can’t be fashionable because I don’t have the right clothes, I can’t start a YouTube channel because I don’t have this specific camera, I can’t write this book because I don’t own my own computer, I can’t learn more because I can’t afford school. Whatever it may be, it’s an excuse. Those are excuses not to start. If we tell ourselves that we need x,y,z before we can even start something, we’ve already told ourselves that we cannot do it. That’s a lie. Understand that you are capable of anything. Just look around you and see what can help you get to where you want to be.
[14:58] I’ve found that as I’ve intentionally gotten rid of much of the STUFF in my life, I can use things for more than one task. I don’t need to buy something for a specific task if I already have something that does that task, and many more! This can go for a whole variety of things in your life. Let’s take the few I just mentioned: being fashionable, making a YT channel, writing a book, & learning more. Having an eye for what’s fashionable doesn’t mean having an eye for what the next thing on the market will be; it’s being able to make something fashionable no matter what it is by being creative and using different items in new and different ways! Starting a YouTube channel could be done with one item that most of us already have: our phones! Phone’s now-a-days have fantastic cameras, there are even movies in theaters that have been shot from personal phones. As for writing a book, there are a myriad of different ways to do that, whether it’s writing it on paper, using your phone, or using a public computer, maybe at a library perhaps. And while you’re there at that library, start learning more by picking up a book or reading up on the World Wide Web! When it all comes down to it, you can always ask for help. You may not have the means to start a specific thing, but you can always ask others for help or to borrow something. Keep in mind, you can utilize this skill for more than just looking around at the STUFF you already have. Find the people that are already in your life that support your dreams & see if they’re willing to help or lend you something! These are just a few examples of excuses and realities that we may see and face in life. Once we look around us though, it’s easy to see that there is so much that we already have that is capable of doing so much & helping us in great ways.
[16:40] If we lived in a world where we see the things we already have as capable of so much, why would we even need more things? Well, we wouldn’t. We could use our phone to take pictures instead of buying an expensive camera, or fix that hole in our sweater instead of buying a new one. We can choose to see the capabilities of what we already have. And that is what exercising your No-Spend Muscle actually is. It’s taking a second before buying something to really look around you and see what you already have that could be utilized for the same purpose. I think when we begin to realize that the things we already have can be so useful to us, we’ll also find that we become more grateful for the things we use daily. We can begin to live lives where that hungry want never shows it’s head because there’s too much gratitude in our lives. I think if we begin to look at the stuff in our lives in that way, we can begin to look at the beings in our lives in that way as well. We can begin to see our families, our friends, our neighbors, our Earth with gratitude.
[17:48] Gratitude shows us what’s important in life (& it’s not money). In order to have gratitude, we must exercise our No-Spend Muscle, and the more we exercise our No-Spend Muscle, the more gratitude we have. Once we’re aware of this we can begin to make different choices, and we can understand that people need to be aware of it in order to make choices that actively work against this want cycle. And now that you’re aware, I’d like to call on you to exercise that No-Spend Muscle, no matter how long you choose to do it for, maybe it’s for one item, maybe it’s for one month or one year! It doesn’t matter! All that matters is that you start! The great thing is, you’ve already got all the tools to do so!
[18:37] Alright, let’s get into today’s recommendations. First off, we’ve got the YouTuber who the No-Spend Challenge & Muscle came from: Amber of Fairly Local Vegan & Fairly Local Life. Amber has great videos discussing how to live frugally, locally, and happily all while sticking to vegan values & raising 3 children. Amber has great videos with tips & recipes, & adorable footage of their kids. If you’re looking for inspiration on living more happily or frugally, or for just more about the No-Spend Challenge specifically, definitely check out Amber’s channels!
Next up, we’ve got Braiding Sweetgrass by Dr. Robin Wall Kimmerer. Again, this is such a beautiful book, I don’t know what else to say. If you’re looking for something that will truly sing to your heart and pull at your “do-something-about-it” heartstrings, give this book a read. Start learning more about the people who were here before us, ‘cause we at least owe them that much.
And there’s the Unlocking Us episode with Dr. Scott Sonenshein where we learn more about creativity and the brain. This episode really tied it all together for me that there is a biological advantage to exercising that No-Spend Muscle. If you want to hear more about all that & see how I got to that point, take a listen to this episode of Unlocking Us!
And again, if you’d like to know more about the traditional lands that you are on, visit native-land.ca.
[20:02] If you enjoyed this episode, help support the podcast! All this content is provided for free and I’d love to make it my job one day, so if you’re financially able join our patreon or send a one-time or recurring donation through paypal! You can also share an episode with family or friends, and give UK a kind rating and review!
Check out UnderstandingKindness.com for all episodes, transcripts, and blog posts. And why not take a listen to my other podcast, Better When Awkward, co-hosted by my childhood best friend Jasmine!
Get in touch with me by emailing UnderstandingKindness@protonmail.com, or through social media. You can find all links in the episode notes.
For now, be kind, be compassionate, be understanding, and question everything. I’ll be here. Thank you for listening to this episode of Understanding Kindness. [End transcript]