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Their crimes. Someone else's neck. A gold-armored Infilium is about to hang rat-folk noble Stewart Medium as the scapegoat when the swamp-born elemental amalgamate crashes the execution and shreds the Tyrant's Guild into kindling. The rescue comes with a gilded invitation — the Decklands want them at the soiree.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
Creators and Guests
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
all righty chat are you excited for another exciting episode of rotgrind
it's not that exciting shut up okay we're going back
welcome everyone to another exciting episode of rotgrind i am your host today zorn the bear i'm
playing orin the strix druid and i am joined by other amazing players starting off with oda roshi
hi hello i'm oda i'm playing the artist formerly known as vali vina the sylph swash buckler here
to buckle your swash in particular i'm pointing at you you there next up we have hulky crow
that is me i am hulky crow and today as always i'll be playing the kanrasu cleric ruhua and i just want
you to know that i did remember pancakes this thursday and then we have erindale i'm erindale
and i am a writer working with alpha busa and a bunch of other shit and i am playing as baldrick
the alchemist and i am very very slightly tired i had to turn to look to see what the hell my cat
woody was doing in the window he was just moving and speaking of cats we have speaker d
everybody wants to be the cat but the cat's the only cat who knows where it's at but i'm a dog
person and i'm speaker d and i'm playing tanhauser and he's the robot and he's a wizard and well he's
not a wizard he's a magus and he and he's got and he's got and he's got a sword and he and zorn you go
i'm scared and of course we're all level eight by the way in case anybody uh who only listens to
some audio we're level eight uh now yes level eight now because i have to have to say it out
loud because sometimes i read the comments and go like what level are they like i never found out
you know because some people only listen to some podcasts but of course you can always visit all
of our stuff at patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration get things early subscribe over to
the twitch or come watch us live on twitch.tv forward slash narrative declaration that really helps us
out or watch us all on youtube where you get the vods for free a week after the broadcast and
everything goes out but of course the one who brings everything together one who leads our
merry band of chucklefox through this grim dark world of rock grind is our illustrious game master
thurston hillman destined band here a destined band uh hello everyone it's me i'm oh god it's like a few
days away from gen con um i don't know what reality is i have a game session to run today i'm sure i'll do
a good job of it or make up stuff hi that's me
you always do a good job yeah you always do a good job thurston thank you for being
give give uh give odo a hero point yay uh you also do a good job thurston
yeah i want to i want to briefly call attention to this uh odo i'm pretty sure you're i'm pretty
sure your spouse just gifted tier one subs what don't give me money stop on on the nardex stream very
funny i don't think so it would be funny is that is that not ollie no i do not believe that it's
another person anyway now that now that you've outed everything remember if you want to help out
if you two want to help out um the entire show or give people hero points as this thurston did
you every time you do a bit donation here on twitch uh and you do hashtag the player uh the
player's character's name or the character's name it's always gonna uh spell out there for you it'll
fill up our hero point bar and thank you uh sonosu for helping code this together it's all custom
coded for us so thank you so much for that and it gives us a hero point we roll 20s all that other
fun stuff and as we go on through our adventure today thurston what do you have for us well um
okay so as speaker types um what i can say that we we have is going to be a very good recap brought
to you by our good friend odoroshi i thought this was a bit we've we've decided that odo is gonna get
out of here i gotta go i gotta go you're gonna i've decided i actually really gotta i gotta go to
the bathroom guys goodbye uh i'm gonna i'm gonna quickly i'm gonna quickly draw attention to the
fact that odo has been glued to her chair yeah i might nearly declare with your hero point that
you were given that you can't leave but yeah but i can't leave we're gonna we're gonna spice this up
a bit too it's not just gonna be a recap it's gonna be for every time odo gets something
in the recap wrong she has to win a round of yugioh so it seems like this has become the yugioh
stream uh we're gonna be not doing nothing but yugioh for the next uh around 48 hours uh
thurston what the fuck you you don't play yugioh in rounds it's not poker
you don't you don't you don't you don't you don't get a dark magician straight
oh this is gonna be even better with speaker uh backseat yugioh yeah come on all right now
all right odo come on or wait you get one normal summon continue all right pot of read um
uh last session we we came back from the swamp we're all covered in swamp goo um we went back
to baldrick's house we were rolling a giant uh wooden egg it was wooden i believe i i recall it
being some shade of brown twigs and brambles and things yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so we rolled in a
giant egg into baldrick's house we said hello to our best friend crunch best boy um we found out
that indeed the bit had come full circle and the wall between the forge and baldrick's home was
knocked in objectively hilarious uh baldrick came out uh he generally was unhappy to see us but we
were very happy to see him uh the egg hatched and uh it produced a beautiful beautiful baby dragon
that zoran uh drew for us truly truly worthy of picasso you want to show the art thurston
of uh what skelly did for good old gorgamonger to show off what she did yeah yeah yeah um okay one
sec here let me uh let me sorry you're probably using this time to do others let me see oh oh no
no i got it i got it i got it i got it i got it here here i got it i got it right here okay yeah i do
i do i do i do i do new oh where is the other one or you know the cool handout version bam
i don't have access to that one but there you go cute i want to hold him
uh anyway sorry i got distracted uh and then uh a child threw eggs at baldrick's house the child
then ascended to the next plane of existence uh uh then we got a letter a mysterious letter
telling us to go somewhere in the i believe it was the it's one of the rich people pilasters um
prince prince yes the prince um we got a note to meet a mysterious benefactor in that place
uh we decided to go investigate uh kind of smelling that something was wrong uh rohua and baldrick
split off to go to five guys to get a burger and fries um uh vena tanhauser and orin all went off to
investigate uh our our mysterious benefactor uh we were unfortunately discovered by the mysterious
benefactor because we are very good at our jobs uh we sat down and made small talk um he did not
want to make small talk with us uh baldrick and rohua then came and joined us and then uh we were
given a mission by uh the gold guy he was gold he was a representative of order uh rohua didn't like
that and i'm really sorry about that buddy uh yeah that's the recap uh so he has new art
so um yeah there's some there's some there's some art um describe him for me thurston yeah yeah
so so this fellow the the chamberlain anathian is a perfect tight touched uh individual who has
almost a golden skin with hexagonal irises and slicked back uh very almost platinum white hair
they uh you know fancy sort of noble-ish attire a like pulled over uh turtleneck and um that was
not where our session did end though you know what this guy looks like thurston what what it looks
like he goes to the cloud district often his smug aura uh fills me with rage also he is like a
character from path of exile which is if you actually saw how long his neck was it would be disturbing to
see uh oh no he is a templar um but that's all being said uh there was something else odo where
do we where did we end off last session yeah otherwise otherwise you're playing you fuck i'm
shuffling my deck thurston so much has happened i got fucking married bro yeah let me give you uh let
me give you a a reminder oh yeah the toilet stall noble was about to get fucking got all right
i forgot about that guys
i believe one of the last lines from our last session was a speaker making some comment about
saving stewart little um we're max stewart big i think it was stewart medium yes it was very good
um yes yes people are going to listen to this in sequential order going like dude guys you just
had a session last time how'd you forget stuff uh we've had to skip a couple sessions because of
scheduling issues it's been a bit yeah so so sorry if we didn't remember it you know by photograph
please go easy on me my brain is made of soup and and odo got married so you know that that's a big
thing that happened it wiped our memories you guys can remember it so we don't have to yeah the
nostalgia odo in your walls i can't believe doug walker officiated it yeah it was really nice for him
to come out uh the entire channel awesome crew uh you know it was it was just fantastic they even
brought the m bison hat we even had it at kickassia um shall we move on yeah please do thank you
i don't want to use the early 2000s let's keep going
all right um so all of you have approached uh from the north uh to the south uh into this this
the square um the apple cart square where they are um currently there are various members of the
tyrant's guild there is a large um like almost like a 30 foot radius of like just people crowding
the area some big some some some like medium some small creatures all sort of gaggling about with
um different um basers from the tyrant's guild sort of forming a patrol there are menial undead like
regular sort of rank and file um policing undead at the further ends of the area uh and you can see
that there is this you know there's this poor uh this poor rat folk who is uh basically on the
hanging block and there is a you know gold armored figure that has begun you know to to indicate that
this individual was was responsible for uh maybe someone else's action at uh der gassanren house
um which we'll remember from the end of our first adventure was uh was a site of a great fight where
our players maybe did some stuff but it's all being blamed on this this poor toilet stall noble um and
all of you can sort of see past the crowd up up on this elevated stone platform and then further
elevated up um on basically like a wooden stand that has like the the the the you know hanging
apparatus and gibbets and all that um is this individual i'll share this art again they are sort
of a gold armored member of the tyrant's guild uh with a very ornate helmet sort of like dangling golden
chains uh and they they seem to be like pacing around and giving a bit of a presentation
on the stand um so what are you all doing as as this is going on they haven't quite hung hung
poor poor stewart medium yet but yeah what do y'all want to do um i'm kind of wanting to duck in the
crowd and see where this is going this might uh give us some good info about what's happened in the
wake of the martinet's death i have a distinct feeling where it's going to go is to the end of a rope
odo yes yes indeed and we'll we'll deal with that when we get there yeah how imminent is this
hanging are they like seconds away or like they haven't fully put like a noose around this person
yet they're they're sort of like pacing and proselytizing to the crowd
uh could i quickly give a
outset law to see if i can uh recognize this fellow or maybe anything that he is about you know everything
everything i need to know about him effectively society just society not outside society this would
this would be outside of law this is definitely more like a society style check well luckily it's the
same role and i roll low uh it's 22 okay 22 is is enough to give you a little bit of information
here not quite everything but not uh not not a complete wash um so you don't recognize the specific
individual however you recognize based off of their their armor uh their actual i suppose rank um
within the tyrant's guild and sort of what what role they play um you recognize them as an infilium
um infiliums are a member of the tyrant's guild they're um provided to the tyrant's guild as um a tithe
from the church of the baron um they act as advisors healers and supporters of regional leaders
and in many cases um they'll they'll have like more more um sway and power where they are than
even like the local martinet just because of the fervor in which they act um they also operate a little
bit outside of the uh the tyrant's guild's regular hierarchy and are empowered to report issues uh
like even up to the level of martinet to the the magnanimity which is the like leading body of the
the tyrant's guild so they can kind of act as like almost like advisors but spies within the guild
uh pope cop do they uh i guess adding on to that check are they in like our league or are they like
leagues beyond it they are they are certainly people of varying skills and talents i.e they could
like be any level basically okay so like you could find these guys that are like we could have beaten
these guys up half a year ago but you could find guys like this who are like big bad booty daddies got
it yeah um so real quick just to clarify uh so vena you were going to head into the crowd right
yeah i'm gonna try to kind of keep my head down in the crowd and just listen to what's going on
are you like stealthing or are you just trying to like act like you belong in the crowd
um i'm going to kind of just act like i belong in the crowd you know i'm gonna take the hat off and
stuff it into my coat and kind of throw the coat over my shoulder at an angle where the feathers are
kind of kind of hidden in its bulk okay uh can you give me a um society check for that oh society
not deception yeah you know what i'll give you deception if you're trying to sort of just downplay
your own personal nature i'll give you deception here too thank you you're a very kind
oh no that's not good what ah 31 31 absolutely okay so yeah you you start uh maneuvering your way
inside and um yeah how close are you getting um close enough to here but not so close as to be
spotted okay so like again given like big gaggle of people like maybe 20 feet away or so yeah
something like that okay cool cool cool awesome oh yeah you're getting close all right um back to
the the sort of the main group that i just want to make sure because you want to do that uh vena
what about the rest of you i know uh baldrick you'd sort of done some analysis on this individual the
rest of you are sort of hanging back what how are all of you approaching the situation um i think
tanhauser is going to vanish from view and cast invisibility okay oh fuck he's casting the spell
invisible uh and then i'm going to be approaching like trying to get essentially like onto the stage
like that's where i'm going i want to find some way to get onto the stage okay uh so society would
be a good option here because that's like kind of how you can navigate through crowds so yeah you can
give me a society check here okay
society that is a 19 but i am invisiblest yep yep yep okay cool cool cool cool yeah so uh you are going
to uh make your way up that uh way you're you're having like you're you're able to move through it's
just it's just getting like difficult because like there's this there's this like really big guy who's in
your way and he's like oh don't do that and he kind of like looks over oh i thought there was
someone dead there wasn't someone dead uh and you kind of like have to like sneak past him and sort
of just just make your way closer uh all right so what about the rest of you um like baldrick oran and
rahula i'll go last okay i'll i'll tell you what i'm gonna do
i wrote to create according charge no uh good i'm going to look good so just real just as a
general idea what what is the size of this gibbet what is how big is this platform all right well
how about i give you something that will maybe help you out a bit more well okay oh apple cart square
this is where they held the apple cart murderer yeah oh so it's just straight up and it's not like
pressed up against a wall it's dead center in the in the capital yeah yep and and so um so just for
our audio listeners i've loaded up the map here i have a bit of a like green template on here this
just represents like people um so anyone in that green template on the map that is difficult terrain
essentially uh as like there's people all around i've got tokens there just to sort of give it a visual
flare but generally speaking like you can assume anything in that area has people sort of mulling
about let me i'll tell you what someone else go before me because i need to think what the fuck i'm
gonna do well then that leaves us with rahula if uh last rahula is gonna start moving into the crowd
because i'm sensing we're gonna need to put a stop to this because we don't want somebody to get
executed for our own misgivings also that's a fucking kill steal they're not gonna steal our
glory oran will will uh will tug rahula back before he goes he goes rahula you remember the piece of
paper that had our faces on it and the number of money and stuff for our capture well yeah of course
you're very recognizable we me and you might want to stay back and if something does happen
i can better help you get in there so for us we probably need to hang back a bit and let
any kind of motions to tannhauser and volley and uh and baldrick you go we might want to stay back a bit
me and you are quite easily identifiable they can mesh in a lot more so we probably need to hide
behind there and oran will motion towards a tree uh that's a bit bottom left of us here on the
battle map and like we could probably hide back there uh obviously with us our oran motions to his
wooden arm and he motions that practically looks like a tree we could probably just blend in there
and be back up and i can really easily get you in there if we need to
you know that's a really good idea oran that's why you're the one who makes the tactical decisions
always
oran just nods not knowing if this is an out of character slight or not
no he's he's he's being genuine he's like he he trusts you he trusts oran uh so i i'm sorry to like
impose a decision on you but uh if you want uh no no no that's that's almost certainly smarter
can hide behind uh the tree that's on the battle map there i'll no i'll just steal like a like a
tablecloth off of uh one of the carts and cover myself up oh yes i'm just a very big grandma or can
i uh as a nature check uh rip off a couple like like twigs and stuff for one the nearby bushes or
trees and like kind of help us blend in a little bit fucking love the slapstick get like a vine wall
and like throw it over me there's like there's like this intense music it's like some fucking you
know drama movie like volley's trying to get through the crowd like invisible tan house just like trying
to move through and this ogre's like knocking over and they're it's like we gotta get to the president
before they get him and then you've got roan oran in the back we're like all right i'm gonna put
this tree over you we need to cut pieces of this tree off to make you more tree you know what
first i've got i'll do one better uh i would love to cast uh i'll wave his hands in the air
uh and he just don't care yes like he just doesn't care uh and out of the the thin miasma of reality
will make a magical set of shitty shitty leaves appear enough of negligible bulk to conceal whatever
he can of himself and if not himself if it's gonna be too small to at least give it to oran
and i'm gonna just i'm gonna use breasted digitation okay okay okay okay so fucking christ all right so
like you're moving like over to this tree over here to like your let your immediate right yeah we're
gonna we're gonna metal your solidus and stealth along the wall place yourself where you want to
be in that tree okay so i want to go here or who i can hide in and to disguise myself i want to cast
humanoid form which i got that sorry um twitch viewers the description of this way long practically to
what is it lasts for 10 minutes uh but basically as i'm hiding behind the tree i transform myself to
be a dwarf to look like a dwarf and stuff like with blonde hair big old blonde beard everything else
and i look like i'm just tending to the trees like i belong here okay okay okay um
okay so you're just like dwarf okay okay uh you know what let's get some skill checks like what skill
check are you going to use to stay hidden uh rahua like i know you're prestidigitating but like what
are you what skill are you using to uh if prestidigitation alone is not going to assist since it's not
super convincing could i could i reason with you that i could use crafting to make use of this
trees very real and non-negligible bulk to make up for the inconsistencies in this
sham of a disguise okay okay what skill are you wanting like nature to sort of
could i use crafting for that i mean if you let me use nature because i know more trees
i'll let you use uh i'll let you use nature crafting here okay okay it's your choice dealer's choice
here well i'll use i'll use nature i'm not feeling as confident do you spell wood to tree
i got a 22 okay cool cool um and then um oh gosh orange so you're like you're you're sort of doing
this are you um are you like also as you're like shifting form with your magic are you just like
spending your time looking out in the crowd because you don't you don't have to spend as much time as
say rahua does to disguise himself in there i i am keeping an eye on as much as i can on uh
bali or arvina rather on vina and baldrick uh obviously can't see tanhauser anymore but i'm just
like keeping an eye on the situation so if things do go wrong like buff rahua and send him in the
battle and join the stuff activate so he's he uh orn is playing backup and just keeping an eye on things
and if they need anything he's got all this utilitarian they can call back at him on so that's
what orn is doing i'm the invisible man it's coming up uh give me give me a perception check then
orn oh i'm so sorry yeah you're good you're good you're good oh i saw that natural one almost land
what'd you get uh i got a 23 total okay 23 perfect perfect perfect perfect and then we'll
come back to baldrick how are you sort of setting up for all of this baldrick
baldrick
i have an idea he is all right so what i'm gonna do is because i was originally thinking of trying
to mingle in the crowd and get close and possibly destroy the scaffold uh that's not a great idea
at this moment because of how this area is laid out uh and there are obviously lots of guards for
for obvious effect so what i'm gonna do is i'm actually gonna duck to the side over here and hide
behind these carts so i can think of a better plan while i'm not out in the fucking open okay so i will
do a sneak give me a little stealth please uh uh hang on so let's make sure oh i gotta i had armored
stealth i can why do i keep getting that fuck you
go another eight we're at 25
so you can move yourself to where you want to be sort of along the edge there
yeah so he's gonna like keep a low profile near these carts and put line of sight blockers in
between him and these guys and as many of these as he can he's going to basically just keep a firm
watch and i would like to if i may thurston uh this scaffold for hanging that is here yes is it just stone
uh well there's like a stone like there's a storm stone platform you can kind of see it on the map
that has small like stairways that go up it's it's just maybe about three feet elevated like it's fairly
you know it's not not a massive uh leap right uh then on top of it is this like wooden scaffold on top
of the stone platform here oh i can barely see that under the green yeah yeah but it's just underneath
that's kind of where i thought it was in color elevated no it's not a couch here i could i can
move the tokens over so you can get like a better there we go okay now i see it yeah yeah yeah so
there's just this like wooden platform there let me see and i presume these walls surrounding us
can i do an engineering to see if these walls are particularly well built
yeah go go go ahead uh so so i should clarify like to to your side uh you're actually elevated
like this is all like a stone walkway that oh we're in the air buildings yeah yeah yeah so this
is okay so that changes that changes how this works entirely fuck yeah because there's like buildings
underneath you you can kind of see them as you look over there's a bit of like a ledge there that goes
up like again about three feet so like your chest and you can sort of peer over and see down on the
tops of buildings lower those are pillars there are pillars that sort of rise up to like a sealed
area above like again outside is is this vertical city right so up above you there's like another
walkway as well gamers never look up uh hell i need to think
as you're thinking yeah yeah yeah just come come back to me i need to throw it on your leaves
oh thank you thank you it's like he starts just starts gluing shit to your face yeah i'll tell you
what thurston can i like can i like fend off my turn for a moment or while i think of what else i
should be doing here yeah i mean yeah you're you're in a good position i mean no one's like
per per se like had like full actions right this is more like your setup so so we're kind of good
with with the the setup of things um the only one who's kind of like still trying to get closer
uh right now is tanhauser who um has like had some had a bit of a like scuffle getting through the
crowd and around has got to a good point um but what happens at this point is you've all kind of
like started started your setup and started moving in and splitting up um is that the the infilium
takes a moment to pause on the stand and like gestures at uh stewart medium and like like clenches
their fist and is making a proclamation and as they they make this proclamation there is this sound
this sound that is like a a whale that reverberates despite the open nature of the square
um and and like it has this like deep rumbling to it but also a crackle um and and yet it just kind
of shakes everything it's like a cry of some kind um and as that happens baldrick you're in like
enough of a position to see it the two um and you can kind of see it based on the on the pillar you
sort of see around it to the edges the two skeleton guards to the east they end up hurtled
towards the crowd but you tell as they're flying towards the crowd it's not their like regular
bodies they've all been broken apart so their bones are just flying landing like you know chunks of bone
and the armor they were sort of flying like they've been broken apart in a single solid hit
um and that's when following up as the crowd turns and there's shocks and shouts something rushes out
immediately after them like a comet that follows them um and you have have seen this thing somewhat
before but you see what can only be described as an amalgam of elemental parts
oh not this thing tunnels through the crowd um and it has barreled its way forward um and um since i've
had you all uh secretly roll initiative anyways with all of your skill checks we're gonna dive right in
um starting with this thing again um that begins to essentially push its way into the crowd
uh indiscriminately just like crushing as it moves forward and as it does so um all of you can
like specifically like tannhauser you get a view of this this large creature as it comes like
and the way it moves is so unnatural it's and i should describe it a bit better for for audio
listeners and for you it's it's this it's amalgam of like chunks of metal and stone that are held aloft
by air and flickering embers and even bits of water it's it's a combination of every element so the way
it moves is just this like roiling unnatural motion like at one point it looks like it's like a rock boulder
moving over the next it's moving like liquid it constantly shifts and as this happens it just goes
through a whole bunch of crowd members coming um like slithering up almost the the the stone embankment
at the side of the the symbol of the first house that is the the like the the stone rise here it comes
up the side right beside two of the undead and what it does is it unleashes a blast um a straight line
of um electrical energy it's like a a lightning bolt that comes out but this lightning bolt
is followed up and and surrounded by a torrent of wind and this smashes into both of these skeletons
and several of the crowd people like at least a dozen or so and causes them to almost domino into
one another and then the civilians strike some of them are just like flash incinerated in the moment
and um that's it's go and then we're gonna hand over things to the next person in initiative which will
be veena who i have to update the token for because i haven't updated the token hey thurston though yes
so given that the amalgam just flash disintegrated uh about a dozen people in a straight line of lightning
would those spaces no longer be considered difficult terrain
not once we factor in everyone's about to be panicking and running in every which direction my
dude well you know sometimes it takes a dreamer to dream a dream continue with your turn
i'm very glad we had this uh all right um as yeah as jamie laughs the other room excellent veena
you're up uh okie dokie so my feet that allows me to step into difficult terrain it doesn't let me
ignore it correct uh it doesn't allow you to ignore it for everything but what it lets you do is like
you could five foot step away from something say if it had like a reactive strike oh sorry attack of
opportunity i'm gonna use remaster terms now i'm sorry eagle um if if you take like uh if something
were to take an attack of opportunity you could like step through normally you can't step into
difficult terrain so gotcha gotcha yeah uh that makes sense i'm going to
yeah there's oh god there's a lot going on here yeah there is
surprise surprise surprise everyone give a suggestion if our objective is to save the mouse guy
um it's probably best to get in a position to save him or if that thing's here to kill him
if you guys i can definitely get mouse guy to safety at max in like two turns i could probably get him
to a safer position in one yeah you can two i can i can get him out of danger like completely
even with this thing here uh but that would mean essentially like dipping out of the amalgamate fight
um which i mean the tyrant's guard are gonna try taking him out for us we have a couple turns uh
if there's any way to save the civilians that might be a good use of our time yeah i can save the rat
yeah that's my issue go ahead sorry go ahead balder i i feel like everyone's gonna start like
scattering here in a minute as soon as they can theoretically do something so we shouldn't worry
too hard about that i don't think i'm not entirely sure what this thing is actually aiming at or
attacking it just kind of came in hey folks yeah it's venus go no and i'm not saying i'm not saying
that to to to downplay the the convo what i'm saying is is like this is a surprise thing so
like you don't have real time to like okay stratum agize now that is true that is true um in that case
this thing is killing civilians um i'm going to trust that if we kill this thing and it's been killing
civilians we might get some leniency for the rat so i'm going to um this is difficult terrain
so that's having my movement speed my movement speed 35
there's yeah uh i think you round so i think 20 so 20 well essentially every one of them counts as
two basically right all right so i can get in melee range only you had caltrops just so true bestie
i swear to god we're gonna fight like the god on the moon at the end of this campaign because
also the everyone thinks the moon is where we're going uh we're gonna fight god on the moon and
speaker's gonna pull out caltrop it's and walkers all over zero grab caltrops think about it
all right um so yeah that's my first action second one oh god it's not looking at me i'm gonna
attempt to i'm gonna attempt to tumble through
okay um let's do our bestest here sure uh that's acrobatics
oh not great uh a 25 doesn't make it does it sure does not you find yourself unable to find a good
way to tumble through the amalgam of stone and fire and water and crackling electricity and also
there's crowds people who are starting to panic and begin to run around you you kind of bounce back
from it yeah i'm gonna hero point re-roll that um just because i think it's best for me to kind of
get out of the crowd absolutely that's worse actually yeah okay all right so tumbling through this thing
is not my option right now um i am instead going to um
no i think making it flat-footed and repositioning is better than just kind of
whacking it so i'm going to just one more time try to tumble through it cool uh third time's the
charm right guys yeah there we go that's a 38 yeah that'll get through it i don't know will it are you
sure about that thurston i think you will find it all right uh and yeah i'm gonna tumble through it
uh and that will hopefully get it flat-footed for my friends to follow up cool all right so you have
you've moved you've moved to the opposite side of it um it's hard to even suss out how this thing
reacts to you um all right so with that some of the uh the the stationed abasers begin to to react here
um they go on two and then one and then one of them comes up and um you know what attempts to uh to
strike it the abaser comes up having drawn a long sword and takes a splash at the amount
amalgamate creature and misses horribly um here i will i will i will i will reveal
miss terribly and this thing is just sort of like you know looking down another one begins to like
push their way through the crowd pushing pushing and that's like all their moves just to get up to
this thing um and that's that uh one of the the pre-programmed skeletal soldiers begins a slow advance
and stops the crowd and then that brings us to baldrick so baldrick you see all of this you see
um it's hard it's hard to see some of your allies through the crowd but you kind of have a general
idea placement except of course for uh for tannhauser who you have no idea where tannhauser is
what indeed you've left me with so much i have
oh i think i just heard the storm hit me fantastic um
if you ever never have any idea you can always delay your turn or prepare an action or thing to
do i don't know what to prepare is the is the thing like because i don't want to just start
chucking bombs into the crowd because you know that is kind of bad bad for the reputation bad for
life everything pursuit of happiness if you don't have anything you can always uh try to recall
knowledge it maybe i mean it might be hard because you might need an arcana check but
yeah about to say this looks funny thirst and would i be able to recall knowledge on this orb
um your best bet is like nature nice i don't have that
uh i have plus one in that so i mean i could make the terrain i could make this just like really
weird i could start throwing smokesticks maybe that'll help disperse the crowd
will that work there's if i start hurling smokesticks in the crowd will that go they're
unpleasant to breathe i presume correct yeah you can already tell though that the crowd is starting
to like bolt in different directions like once this thing came rootin tootin in like they're
breaking up um in fact it's already kind of unsafe the way they're moving they'll they'll disperse
it's just gonna be a take a bit for all these people to like stop running into each other and
hitting each other and possibly doing damage to people in the area to try to lob it at the mouse
guy i'm sorry if i met a gamer trying to backseat um no i was thinking that already anyway yeah like
uh yeah i'm gonna i'm i was thinking about what i wanted to do here and honestly bombarding is not
the choice here so what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna quickly alchemy together a
smokestick and i'm gonna draw and throw it hey because i didn't have any equipment prepared
where are we tossing it to so let me see here this thing has a nine square effect radius correct
or which one this a smokestick regular lesser burst is five feet uh so it's gonna be um it's
basically gonna be like a two by this thing right yeah two by two just this uh yeah i think
it's the radius of the burst so that would be this big right yeah oh this this big okay thank you
because you said two by two and i'm like that's all right it depends where you throw it if you
throw it in a square or intersection blah blah why would i be able to throw it in an intersection
i've never been able to do that before you're cheating okay i'm gonna throw it there as best
i can master's changing the rules on us i'm going to detonate okay okay uh let's see
so it's only in the corner of my space can i throw it uh well it's got range increments right so you'll
just take a penalty if you does it beyond your yeah yeah because it just says with a sharp twist
of this item you instantly create a thick screen of opaque smoke and a burst centered on one corner
of your space oh sorry yeah it's smokesticks yeah you you don't throw those ones do you you just put it
on your space that's right so i'd spend my hero point on there to declare to see if you can yeah
i'm not gonna do that because i want to save that for when i might have to actually hit something with
attacks um uh honestly just put me at the end of the put me at the end of the turn list thirst and
i can't do gonna delay okay delay for now yeah delaying because i uh i'm in i'm in a precarious
position where i'm a bomber skilled alchemist and i can't i can't aoe so you could make a knowledge
check see maybe if this amalgamate is immune to uh electric damage save me he already asked that
because it's it's a nature check which he does not have nature based yeah oh well who is next
i'm getting there it's gilbert all right it's an abaser who doesn't cause an explosion he moves and moves
and moves that's their action terrific they scully who goes to the end of the crowd and then it is over
to oren oren will look at uh rahua and uh you'll see him in his in his dwarf-y guise uh and he's just
like i need to go and help everyone get the safety here go in and take this and he'll and he'll put his
hand on rahua um and basically it's and he'll he'll chant his words of saying run and that's what feats
the light makes with nature's gift take rapid flight and you'll cast haste on rahua and so
now you have haste you get the quicken thing you can drag that quicken thing in the chat there on
your token it'll buff you all up basically what that does you are able to you have an extra action
now but you can only use that to stride which means you're going your full movement speed or you
are able to strike normally you're not gonna be able to use that to like cast a spell or anything
so that's you can do that so you have one free basically thing of movement or one three hit one
free hit with that so that's how that works and for my final action since i'm by the tree i'm not like
super covered i'll basically start motioning to everyone say uh try to yell very loudly just try to
like convince everybody saying this way that's way that's safety everyone go this way and he's gonna
start like motioning people trying to make himself as loud and i'm bombastic as possible try to direct
all of the people to go north so he could like try to get people out of the battle zone
and just try to help out wanna give me a diplomacy check for that i absolutely will
yeah i have a plus one to diplomacy i love it so here we go
that is a 18. yeah that's as good as i'm gonna get it
uh i would have also accepted like you know rolling terribly like hey hey big guy get going
get going uh but as you you do the the the northern most of the the crowd begins and you see like
the large ogre fellow starts running away fire bad um as they sort of like rush off and that is the
end of oran's turn because i took all three of my actions cool all right rahua you're up okay
or will i'm sorry yeah oran i i'm playing oran will uh rahua will notice that he is now empowered
and quickened thanks to oran's generosity and look back at his friend oh oh thank you very much friend
you little did you know you took the words right out of my mouth but uh yeah and he'll thumbs up
let me return the favor so to speak uh rahua will reach up his mechanical hand
and oran if oran happens to be looking at rahua at that time would see the mechanisms in this amalgam
mechanical arm begin to whirr and tick as silver threads seem to extend from
very faintly in the light all of rahua's fingers to each member of the party save i think for
veena actually i can uh what do you can remind me of this wait i can fix this i can use your full
movement now once you stop it'll be a problem so take your full movement now because you have four
actions so use that one movement again and as close as you can because you might want to help
everyone you know that's a great idea i'm that actually it works out so well so everything still
happens but now we're who is a little bit closer you you did you did kind of count the the difficult
it hasn't gone away and it's still difficult of course yeah well let me just go back a square
that's fine okay well now with that taken care of for who are reaching his hands up
and you'll see a flash of light extend along these invisible lines the air traced each member of the
party as a mirror image then flickers in and out in just a moment as for who will cast loose times
arrow and now all members of the card party are now quickened wanna wait wait wait you wanna
you wanna link that for me of course
um up to six loose times arrows two actions all targets of the six creatures 30 feet duration until
the end of your next turn you pluck the time stream like a bow pull one string back release and watch
a creature fly all affected targets are quickened and they can use the extra action to only step or
stride and quicken is pretty much what i did to uh rahula so everyone now gets a strike or thing but
i have good news and bad news for this okay the good news is is that your your ability is awesome
but you cannot target tan house oh because he's invisible because you can't see yeah oh unfortunate
that's fine i i was also going to include a uh i'm going to include stuart middle on that one too
oh okay stuart middle yeah i got i got you okay stuart mid that's an awesome spell though yeah
it's uh yeah it's very good it's kind of like you know haste haste spread out um but only one
one round so um all right cool cool cool is that it for you rahula uh that'll be it uh once again
we have another skelly soldier walking up one of the tyrants guild starts like maneuvering their way
through the crowd but holy crap are they taking their time through that uh at this point you can
see that the infilium um begins to actually pull off the stage and starts to make their way away from
everything tan hauser europe all righty then so i should be able to move to here no problems it's half
of my speed even though it's difficult terrain oh yeah okay cool so that's one action yeah
then what to do next i worry for the fate of stuart middle um i'm going to then
uh whisper to stew is it an action to whisper um i mean you could like do it for free it's free okay
yeah i'll just whisper comrade the revolution has come we're getting you out um and then
i have a risky call to make here i can either do something to guarantee i get stuart middle out
next turn or grab and start moving now which is less of a guarantee but could get him out of immediate
danger
so i think i'm gonna go with the guaranteed option okay uh uh so i'm going to cast on myself fly
okay cool and and after saying step forward and that'll be my turn okay cool
all right uh that'll bring us to more of our tyrants guild folks who will again sort of start
like continuing down one of them will actually manage to be able to take a swing at this thing again
missing terribly um another one is coming up man these guys are so good
that will move they're so cool look at them die uh the one by vena uh is going to try to attack
oh my god really good
um they they are not hitting this thing at all um as they are just swinging into oblivion at it
um this one over here comes down and also tries uh they have this thing surrounded they are all
attacking they are like swords are being swung and nothing is happening uh baldrak it's the end
uh right now would you like to uh to come out of your your delay yet or would you like to wait for
this thing to go or dude oh the crowd's still here i can't do nothing i'm gonna reposition
okay yeah i'm gonna reposition into the crowd continuing to be stealth as best i can let's see
my move range is 20 so i can only move 10 because it's difficult
should we go after the cop pope the the cope well he's coping and seething right now where is he
anyway uh running off this might be our chance to uh i i don't have a city official i
don't think we should geek them i think what we should probably be doing is like
no maybe we could tail them as long as we get everyone else out because i don't know what the
fuck this thing is doing i i would vote that that is not a fight we need to deal with right now and a
bunch of dead turns guild members is on our side so honestly i would have vena leave get mouse guy and
leave i'll tell you what i'm you know thinking about it no baldrick will shadow this person okay
i will i will try to move through the crowd as best that i can well we wanted to oh no it's your turn
i'm shutting down no no oh what's up i'm just pointing out that we've wanted to get rid of this
amalgamate for a while right i mean yeah but we're not sure if we can i i'm not sure if we can
kill it right now it comes and goes i have no idea what the purpose of this thing is and be honest with
you uh if i'm being in character baldrick doesn't really fucking care he's got he's got bigger he's
got bigger fish to fry namely the big gold one so i'm gonna move 20 feet like through the crowd if
that's possible thurston and try oh yeah the tokens are like the the underlying tokens are
just if you want to shout out that guy honestly going outside because the ring is all difficult
terrain going whatever you can just go around the ring at full movement it would be way faster huh
so go full three actions around yeah but i want to try not to attract any attention so i want to try
to stealth through it if i mean there's a lot of chaos you could probably stealth through most of
this stuff pretty easy not to mention i'll ask thurston if i can do that yeah i'll let you uh
take two moves in the stealth test okay uh can so how do i how do i keep this here so i move there
again i i'll just here i'll just drink you thank you okay and then i will stealth check and remember
actually you get a free extra move too so if you want to oh do i go yeah because you're quick and so
you can go to like oh all right well yeah then i'll move another yeah i'll move even closer actually put
put me like behind these things rather than there if possible where was i you can move
move yourself yeah you got actually you want to be like there okay yes please yeah what is the key
to do that by the way uh i don't to make a waypoint yeah as you're dragging over uh you do oh no like
if i'm doing this can i move yeah you just release you just when you do you just release it when you're
doing it if you're doing the measuring tool oh i see i never knew i did that jesus because every time
i tried to drag it never works yeah you just because it's a it's a mod we installed yeah when
you drag your token it'll automatically measure for you that's a model we put in and if you do
left control drag that's just you aiming to seeing how far away something is all right in that case
i'm going to try and stealth now okay
that's 29 that's better than my previous one too so it seems you are you are like being incredibly
silent in the chaos of everything that is happening yeah i want to tail this fucking gold
fucker whoever they are okay and we'll learn information by me okay uh that's the end of your
go baldrick yeah i guess i mean i guess i'll end my turn well i'm gonna go with the uh the good
old amalgamate the good old the good old amalgamate um so the amalgamate's gonna go and it is once again
going to um do some do some work it's going to shoot out another one of its lines striking through
the crowd from the edge uh hitting three members of the uh of of the tyrant's guild um so i am going to
do a thing here real quick um and i am going to i think this will work
one
two that's a one failure two another's a critical failure third one's a critical failure failure
well for podcast people one rolled a 21 second 13 uh third one 16 and for thurston you can see how
much damage it did uh all you see is that this thing just incinerates three more of the abasers that
were by it um then after it shoots out that a blast it um kind of reels back in front of the what like
one of the ones by it and um basically like bores down on it with a combination of you know all the
elements like it sort of pulls back and there's rocks and wind and electricity and fire and it all
comes crashing down on the one in front of it oh oh a seven was a critical
uh dealing yeah 44 points to the one in front of it and just ending it um and that's its go
well you remember these guys suck vena you're up i guess they do so you just need this thing like
unleash a another bolt of electricity through the crowd the crowd is now dissipating um fairly heavily
uh but this point like you can tell it's still going to be difficult terrain in here but probably by
the end of this round that'll that'll have ended as everyone sort of rushed off um but he's just
like took out four of them with almost no effort as well as probably another half dozen people just
incidentally from the bolt i'm gonna i'm gonna turn to the tyrant's guild guy next to me who is
probably still reeling with grief from the loss of his beloved comrades i'm gonna lean and nudge him
him with an elbow and go get a load of these guys
i just saw all my friends just get eviscerated
what the fuck you made would you look at that
this is my first day of the job i just got initiated what the
fuck well it it was leon s kennedy's first day on the job oh god no don't say kennedy
um yeah oh wait i would have panache from last turn correct uh yeah because you did so here
thank you going super saiyan um yeah i'm going to i'm just gonna try to hit this thing with a
finisher to the best of my ability and just see where that gets me wheat see if um i'm too low
level for this this fate um yeah let's get its ass uh okay i've got finisher checked excellent
um oh deary me um i'm gonna hero point re-roll yeah yeah that seems very good idea please roll a
critical flail uh oh i saw the 20. ha unfortunate but uh say la vie um roll damage dimaggio
uh it was a respectable 20 points of damage
and then it takes a small bit um and it takes a reaction against your attack oh terrific i love
attack of returning attack um so i'll get you to click on your token where it says fortitude save
and um oh my god we're about to get a statue oh my god
and what's about to happen to chat and and our listeners once uh once vena clicks on that button
and rolls that safe hey guys remember how i just got rid of the rotten condition watch this
check this out turns into a statue i knew it oh cool this this is the ever clear bottle challenge
okay so um the amalgamate has a special ability called calcification which is triggered if you ever um
um if you damage it it uh can reduce the damage by 10 as long as it's from a physical source which
it does here uh and then you have to make a fortitude save if you fail you're slowed one and if you
critically fail you are petrified oh so cool the the venus statue um as you strike this thing with your
weapon you feel something like arc over you and it like then you you realize like something is happening
to your skin and you don't even have a moment to pull your blade back before you become this this
beautiful statue that has like landed this expert blow
um in in perfect space and time um but the venus statue is now a statue uh you you of course um lose
your uh remaining you lose your life if you would like to know petrified is a condition um oh yes you
would lose your penmash guys damn it thank you speak um uh you become an object with a bulk double your
normal bulk um and you you have ac and hardness um if you the statue is destroyed you immediately die
and your harness correct so if they do more than eight hp to you you you just straight up die no save
good luck to go past go do we have any way of undoing that well who knows we'll find out um hey guys
remember how i uh wasn't rotten for one session let's go
sure
i feel no fucking pity because you had two hero points at the beginning of this session and you
use them both to reroll offensive things and sometimes you get what you deserve okay uh statue
of vena the artist formerly known as vena ah excellent uh
man i can't believe you're a rock and this is not bob just looks over and sees like oh god damn it
we just fixed that oh this this this abacer is like makes a will save and it's like oh i'm gonna
do it and does not do it does oh god does not do it oh god does not rolls a critical miss at a minus 19
that's a almost double critical miss um then decides it's the better part of the world starts backing off
um i believe in this guy next to me i believe this is our leon scennedy uh orin you're up neat
so yes didn't we have to do an entire arc just to get rid of the i kept saying leave the thing alone
like let him die well well i'll see no no now zoran we have this new arc where we turn vena into an
oriad so it's fine this is this it's like what's your backup character wouldn't see like a bard healer
yeah we'll figure it out yeah i i got a bar you're a gargoyle i have a paper shredder for all your
i've also also made a rogue uh i'm rocking it they are giving they are giving odo so many points
it's like guys it's not gonna help right now my i had a plan already set up because i was gonna get
my turn nice and ready and being petrified uh ruined all that so i have to think real fast and
i'm trying to fill up air as i'm trying to debate what to do because now it is now so will you focus
on thinking i'll do something funny uh hey chad i mean the audience i'm gonna address the audience
the audience in the crowd that is surrounding this thing in the game itself uh who would like to buy
this lovely statue you piece of yeah let's start auctioning up all right can you know can you believe
thirst and hillman literally objectifying women god forbid women do anything right
god forbid i've tried not to get canceled before gen con
you could probably you could probably like find some i
vonny can hold open the door now thanks for disabling female player thurston you
fucking bastard yeah yeah yeah okay let's i'll go to bat for thurston once at this juncture
he didn't make odo attack the guy that turns people into statues it's not technically her fault
either because nobody turns you into a statue if you attack him yeah the problem was is that nobody
could hit it i didn't know you would do that i don't know i didn't know you could fail yeah
man thurston you just fail i'm gonna i'm gonna be like hi you know this is thurston and then you
know it's me i'm zoran it's nice to meet you yeah did you know that he petrified or all
thurston out of curiosity what is the what is the stone material that uh that odo was made out of now
what what is vonny's stone material um it it looks like like almost like a salt-like stone like oh
my god
i could propose a question what what like for vena what you know anything from your hometown or
something that would like do for it i don't know you got like sapphire or something you're made of now
or oh don't do that i might be tempted we might be
vena is now made of a hundred percent pure himalayan rock salt if you put her in the washing machine
she'll just disappear i pay good money to sit in rooms with that okay never mind
i am not going to be able to save unfortunately like i do not have any spell slots for greater
restoration which would help with this uh i i should like point out as far as you're aware
of attention once like vena turned into stone it's not like this thing is like based at her so you
don't have to like worry that it's suddenly gonna be that oh yeah it's a worry you know you might turn
yeah so um i could throw a bomb but for character wise oran's so focused on trying to get people through
he he he probably noticed through the crowd maybe but he's like he looks at rahua and goes
like i need you to help you help get vena out of here we have to leave there's no reason to be
here anymore come this way and he's like still trying to ferry people trying to get the people
out of here kind of go for it and he's noticing a lot of people probably aren't going as fast as he
would like to uh so i want to pokeball gorgamonger out you know out of pet cash i got gorgamonger
hatches yeah and go and i want to bring gorgamonger out to basically uh kind of be near
kind of be near me in a way or so um yeah that works out just fine and um i'll basically use that
as like an action to basically be like gorgamonger and then i want to command gorgamonger to be like
like like like make sure like like i need you to scare all these people to get the hell out of here
and um i said this is one action that's one action to command at least i should have two actions left
no one's hurts and fly unfortunately is a touch spell wait i do have reach but i just spin an action
can i use my one uh quickened action to be yelling for gorgamonger and all that
no you you can't use quicken to like get an extra command action i'll suffer the
bullshit yeah my bad no no no that would cause action economy problems for days that's a that's
a narrative declaration if you would like to use one of your two points to do so i would love it
for the for the hope of action economy i'll agree to that i'll negatively declare i'll agree
i'll get all of that so you can take away all my stuff catch your pal make it work so do that
uh and i want to i still can't see tanhäuser
okay i'm going to reach spell and cast fly uh onto rahua oh good okay but it goes from touch the 30
feet and go whoa now uh now for rahua you now should be able to have fly i would put
the thing on you but it's been awfully or basically you have a fly speed uh pretty much go for the air
gaining a fly speed equal to its speed or 20 feet whichever is greater so whatever it is your greater
speed uh you have you could fly so you don't have to worry about difficult terrain anymore oh very cool
this is extremely helpful to what i was going to do and and since i would kind of rescinded the command
stuff so that was my one action do that two actions do fly gorgamonger should still have one action now
to do stuff and i want gorgamonger to intimidate the crowd just a huge roar because he's large size
all this other stuff to try to push people north or add an exit that's safe for them to get out of
here hoping to disperse the crowd to remove as much difficult terrain as possible okay yeah give me an
intimidate check please awesome so gorgamonger will do that yeah and his intimidation is plus 10.
it is being rolled uh i would like to spend my hero point on that because that's an 18.
i would like that to be a bit more effective if that's okay absolutely yeah he had a little furball
yeah that is a 29 just basically what they hear is just this humongous dragon war that just tries to disperse the crowd
uh check give me your best way uh no he doesn't fucking wear
you got one wah yeah what's wrong why don't you scream the only one wing in this situation is me
oh yeah oh you're dead you can't even speak anymore you don't exist anymore
vena just turned around and looked at the destruction of sodom and gomorrah and now she is
a pillar of salt true and i i guess i i guess the crowd disperses and with that they've all gone
separate ways they've they've moved mostly to the north some of like scattered about uh you can tell
that there's no more difficult terrain to worry about here i i want to see where i'm at i didn't use
it that's the end of oran's turn okay awesome hey morton oran this makes room for the skeletons
to begin their their their continued advance these are the tales of the skeleton warriors
i believe in the skeletons hey uh thurston if i put myself at the end of the list once do i stay there
forever you stay there yeah okay yeah yeah once you move yourself like if you delay you you switch
to where you are it's gilbert yeah oh okay now who can fly rohua is going to
wave dash as far as he can using his full 25 feet of movement you can pass by enemies at this point
you just go oh cool and sir so i'm gonna go 25 feet to here submarine what you said submarine go here
no there's no submarine there's no sub my mover okay my skull is breaking you go to you are filled
with full of bilge uh um can i object interaction to pick up statue vena oh my god what's your
strength uh i'm jacked i'm swallow bro oh no i'm not i'm only strength 16. what the
uh you are jacked you're pretty jacked but did you just call our player an object the
fuck god
these are the tales of the objectification warriors
yes you can yes you can grab the statue representing the artist formerly known as vali named vena
okay and i'm gonna use my final action due to quickened to leave yeah you could have quickened up
and then you had two actions in a right yeah yeah you move i'm gonna drag okay what i appreciate about
this is like there's baldrick being all stealthy and that fucking room on the tree man stops like
running and like right in front of baldrick holding the statue oh yeah presumably it's like dragging on
the ground like oh he's flying he's just oh never mind okay how high up are you yeah he's cool
uh not much like 15 like probably yeah yeah i'd give you like an angle there you go are you wait so you're
holding the statue above the ground i want to clarify this you're not i would use i would
use that oh my god you're gonna give her two pig legs
so there's some broken legs i narratively declare she is made of alabaster
um no i'm gonna use the movement that i have to angle downwards so i can set her down gently okay okay
okay and hopefully with the cards that are here there's this perfect statue like pointing a rapier
between two stalls now excellent oh hey baldrick i didn't think you were going to be coming here
today
of course rawhu is the only one in this party that knows how to pick up women
as we've established like seven or so episodes ago rawhua knows about sex she's a statue okay so
pull her anhezor it's here now thank god that bit was terrible okay
we're stuck in a mire let's be just be glad vick wasn't here true all right
time to cinch this epic victory
please spirit away the little man i'm going to grab stuart medium okay you're coming with me
uh okay and now i'm gonna do the following so that was one action right yeah i'm gonna move
then i'm gonna move wait no no no no no no no no no no now
i'm going to time jump using the power of my quantum engine to pause time for two actions
which i will then use to move actually my speed is 30 so i should be okay which i'm then going to use to
move okay well i can't move off the board but i i can with my actions and i'm gonna
fucking use time jump to get stuart medium on the floor below us and set him down
uh okay and you just hear what's going on and then one second stuart medium is right here and then he's
gone okay sorry one second it's doing a weird thing i have to refresh my foundry real quick for
some reason it's like constantly zooming me in on a location and i don't know why
okay and that will be the end of your go excellent excellent excellent
uh grab stuart medium stuart medium is over there and deposited uh okay sec here
in my frozen time only mice can move
uh the well that's happening and a baser is going to try to make a will save
oh uh they fail and they are booking it away
oh my god oh now you you can stay here that did all this is a bit
oh this is a bit oh that that one's dead uh this other one okay so they're all making will
saves to see if they'll stick in the fight versus this thing oh that one does not so that no hope i'm out
it's off the battlefield uh this one here this is this is the stan everybody this is the one who's
gonna who's gonna make it still not enough uh okay and this one also like means to rush off so you
see several of the basers there their spirit breaks they're not quite well trained uh baltric it's
it's your go uh also you will no longer be quick actually no you should be 20 get back
20. i'm just gonna leave the field i'm gonna chase after the fuck oh he hasn't left yet
i haven't i haven't moved them yet no they were kind of waiting to see what's happening there so
okay well i'm going to flee the field and i'm going to chase after a fucker by just running
okay if you want to go around it because it might be a wall uh as you're moving your token press space
it'll like lock in that point then you can go around yeah there you go like make it all me
point there you go yeah hey pal hey pal cool yeah i i i flee the field and i follow the gold gold
finger okay hey vena yeah how's it going
you know i'm just rocking out rock rock rock rock oh oh oh no um shatters you the the amalgamate
turns its attention to you what yeah dude that what it was like
uh could you uh just give me this i'm put i linked to fortitude save could you uh
click on that fortitude button and make that save for me buddy oh okay
that 20 yeah eat shit there's all right uh becomes hostile to my game master very good um does
it does a critical success dispel other people's petrification no no no no but but uh the ground
around um around you briefly becomes chilled but somehow you managed to steal yourself against whatever
happened you don't see it manifest but there was like it was definitely trying to do something
um and after that it like it seems to like thrash around momentarily before hurling a a blast of
flame at you oh oh uh hitting you uh for this will be fire damage but uh it'll hit you for 21 fire damage
oh um and then that's its go uh vena's turn do i get to do anything uh at the end of your turn vena you are
no longer a statue but that's at the end of your turn yay oh thank god it's a temporary thing is
ah the skeleton warriors advance and attack with their their outstretched glaives missing
then we go to another member of the tyrant's guild who uh is now rushing off passing by you or
fuck you uh another one of the skeletons advances up on the corpse and uh takes an attack
um seeing if they can hit with their clave nope uh and then orin you're up as you
i really wish i i had a narrative declaration at the time for uh when people were leaving because i
really wanted the narrative to declare you're like it's like like come this way you're gonna leave also
join the revolution and i'm handing out pamphlets yeah contact tenhouser at your local revolution
center you know yeah should never stop the hustle truth be told before this fucking statue uh showed
up i was going to waste my uh hero point on when i got up and like fled with the mouse i was going to
just start spreading pamphlets everywhere so i imagine i imagine that shortly before that tenhouser was
reaching into his pocket to pull out all these pamphlets then the amalgamate showed up and then
he just had to slowly put them back on the upshot like we could like staple them divine i don't know
why i keep screwing up your name i'm sorry odom my skull you're good i'm not a rock anymore i'm good
i'm i'm i can still staple them davina that's fine that is true that's sure yeah that's a good idea
oh you know why i just realized why i'm doing it it's fucking planet side the vanu
so uh so what oran is going to do is seeing that all the people are gone and they no longer need to
worry about the stuff he noticed um tanhouser has leaped over with the subject um knowing that baldrick has
stealthed super well i'm gonna assume oran does not know where baldrick has gone um so oran's only
logic now is to leave and make sure his friends are safe so oran is going to uh just kind of like
pretty much just drop his guys of being a dwarf and he is going to then uh shapeshift or pretty much
wild shape into a into a bird basically into like a merlin or whatever um and he'll take two actions
for that and then for his final action that he will practically he fucking tugward ass look at my
token ass all right he flaps over um it took no he's such a good boy it's like sorry i gotta have to look
up the speed for chat and everyone watching because i think it's currently obscured i've changed the
token to be tugbert what we will do is after i transform into a bird uh my speed will be 50 feet
i'll put that thing there and something zoomed in on it and he will oh it tried it tried to do the spell
of it and he will then move for his funnel action and trying to gain speed so i'm gonna go up at an
angle try to gain like at least a good like 15 feet higher so that thing is kind of out of range for
him actually i'm gonna go under i'm gonna go under the thing the overhang thing doesn't have like a
pillar under it correct yeah no no like you can go underneath okay cool it's bailing off the edge yeah
yeah they just head off the edge yeah yeah you can just drag us both off the edge we're gonna go
under and try to see uh a flying mouse you know practically you try to follow that um but the plan
for me is to basically go under it and try to have gorgamonger and in orange try to help rahua and and
veena get down somehow you know because i don't want to go across that thing and be affected i'm gonna go
under and try to get go and try to help out so that's my plan okay uh then one of the skelly bros
is gonna come over as you enact that you know if veena was made at a sturdier material i think we could
like throw her somewhere yeah like a rock thing no rocks are flimsy i was thinking steel if rahua just
fucking yeeted her going you'll survive once he fucking dies after all this fucking trouble just
fucking oh god throw off his eye i gotta go survive oh man who could have possibly seen this happening
i do have catfall i might live uh can you use catfall while you're a rock i'm not a rock anymore i got
better no we're suggesting you attack it again and become a rock oh oh right right yeah that would
really help us out by uh um whose turn is it it's mine so so are we uh we fight this thing are we
fucking dead ski that's a good question do we want to try and fight this thing that's clearly a too strong
right now i mean i don't know if you guys left like tanhauser has jumped off the side you would be alone
we're not in a good position to fight it leave molly's right with you please attack it with your
mace please you know absolutely i'm gonna move up and attack it don't it's not smart but if you want to
if you die what would seeing that seeing that vana just got turned into a fucking
rock would rahua logic be like yes i wish to become a rock too absolutely turned into a rock on a
reaction by the way i wish to become a rock um how long does fly last a minute minute oh uh i think
it's maybe even 10 yeah yeah a while uh why last five minutes okay yeah sweet all right so uh
uh rahua will look to the non-petrified vena uh and say oh good you're not dead anymore that's great
uh do you trust me you know what rahua i definitely do i don't care i don't remember who grabs her
and just cuts her off mid sentence and just jumps over the edge all right so it sounds to me like everyone
is now departing the field uh leaving these skeletons and like the two remaining abasers who weren't
in initiative and never moved um to try to fend off the amalgamate so all of you are like rushing
away baldrick is is stealthing after this individual um and i think that's a perfect opportunity for us to
take our first hooray yeah i'm looking forward for the uh news bulletin tomorrow that these uh three
debasers and four skeletons successfully slew the amalgamate becoming heroes of time yeah that you
decide if they won or not we'll see you here in a little bit we'll be right back please give us
four hundred dollars and that is all the spoilers for the new remaster books awesome thurston
thanks for thanks for breaking your nda for us i'm glad you're welcome you're welcome like ever
since we turned the wizard in the remaster into a strength based class well people are not ready for
the swole ezran that's coming i'm excited i want to cast fist you got you got actual gangnam style
as a spell for the barn that's yeah that's a little bit crazy a little bit wacky god dude i
fucking love gangnam style yeah now now as a as a spell you two can get a cantrip too and um it uses your
ability modifier we're you know that's the one spell that still uses your ability modifier to damage so you
you know gangnam style get on it oh no my roommate just messaged me he was going to the gym but he
forgot they closed at four today and he took pre-workout oh no oh well well i guess we're going to the gym
the night after the game's done rip him flex but of course we are back thurston yes a lot of stuff
just happened yeah did it did um so we have a couple things i'm going to to start us off though as we
return with baldrick um you have been chasing after this individual following them i want you to give me
two tests here i want you to give me a stealth test and a society test as you kind of like trail this
infilium um and the like two remaining abasers who are at their side hmm you know what thurston i think
i will do that yeah okay please do you said self first uh whichever order you want i'm gonna kind of
combine these for purposes of what happens and i love rolling middle of the pack that's a solid 28
okay cool cool for the stealth and then the society please
hmm sus
oh nice that's a 30 yeah so you're able to to keep pace uh relatively you know without problems staying
sort of to the shadows and whatnot this this individual seems fairly um rushed like they're
moving quickly um the abasers are struggling to keep up um you can tell that they're making their
way out of the district they seem to be heading central um you can tell based on your society check
that they're making their way towards one of the grand causeways the sort of like top of the collapsed
grand causeway that would have connected the uh ponds pilaster which was the district you're in and
and now the sinkhole uh would have connected it to to the you know princess pilaster so there
so it seems like this infilium is making their way to the princess pilaster
hmm curious yeah you can keep following like i'm just wanting like to give you that sort of update
are you just gonna keep the tail on i i think i will i think i will firmly keep following this individual
bodrick is confident enough in his abilities and he wants to try and get some information while we have
the opportunity rather than let it slip by and be like oh well i guess never figured it out
i'll follow them as far as i feasibly can go before it becomes too much of a hazard okay um
yes good good good good good okay um give me a perception check as you're going about
okay i will perceive perceive please
that'll be uh 18. okay um so so within 18 uh as you're as you're following this individual you find
that they are um taking twists and turns eventually they reach um the the causeway but as they're
traveling along the causeway they take a sudden and abrupt turn off into uh one of these sort of
side structures the grand causeways by the way are like these these massive like in some cases you
know 50 foot wide bridges um but they have you know general structures every you know hundred or so
feet um or you know 200 feet in some cases that allow you to access the underneath because there's
like sprawling buildings all underneath these as well um cobblestone highway yeah and and this this uh
infilium takes a step they they walk off the path briefly to go into one of these buildings
it's difficult for you um your perception check doesn't allow you to catch this in
time so i'll need you to do another stealth test if you intend to like follow them and stay kind of
hidden i'll tell you what i will do that okay i'll just keep doing that all right roll and get a big
number of 36 now give me one more perception check as you're like you're you're a shadow on these these
folks um but you're trying to like keep your eyes up and about oh 20 24 that one winked at you don't
don't you dare with me it did i'm done with that one we're through all right so you manage to to come
up and um you know come up behind them i should say and as as you do you can see that this infilium
has stopped briefly um to exchange words with a a beggar um then the infilium has sort of
immediately like walked off uh you're trying not to attract attention to yourself this this beggar is
sort of like an old toothless man who's holding out a cup um they're smiling uh but the one thing that
that attracts your attention is that amongst all of this sort of beggars paraphernalia there is like
a small brooch that they're wearing just along their their tattered robes in fact it looks like it's
almost intentionally downplayed but the brooch catches your attention and it it's a brooch
that is um one of the the sort of featureless faces of outset but this one has its eyes opened
uh can you give me a society check i certainly can attempt i will throw that rock oh wow and i'll get
you a 29 so you recognize this symbol uh with with the 29 um you recognize it as being the symbol of
office of the one of the chamberlains of outside yeah specifically the chamberlain cantal uh yeah
cantal and cantal is the the second chamberlain of the city not in athian um and as as this happens
the the infilium breaks breaks off and as they do so you can tell that there's like a a sudden like
influx of tyrants guild members that are starting to uh to to fill into the area almost like filtering
in like they're set to come here um and these these include some of the like excoriatorges like the
ones you saw in the basement of um of like they're these are like more of the elite troops who seem to
be now uh taking up a position you can tell it's gonna get a bit harder if you want to take her at this point
i'll tell you what thurston if i have the capacity to prepare ahead of time a couple smoke sticks
and tail her may i do that oh yeah i'll i'll here what i'll get you to do is give me a stealth check
this is this is going to be opposed by a perception dc now so terrific i'm keeping my eye on that hero
point yep yep that's exactly why because i don't think i was going to be terribly good you're going
to use the hair point here uh am i no because that's like a 50 chance it'll be better it could be worse
damn i could have assurance that oh well uh no i'll i'll i'll stick with the 25 for now
okay um so so with the 25 you can tell that like some of these excoriators that are picked
that have joined the group are picking up on your your presence now um there's like glances back
after a while um you can tell it's probably best to drop a smoke stick and like subtly walk down some
alleys and get away from here yeah no good unless you want to have a confrontation with this individual
that level eight now but i don't think this is a wise idea there's a lot of them
what to do what to do is there any way i could throw down a smoke stick and continue to tail
um you're guessing not like throwing down a smoke stick might just attract more attention to
to your position it would kind of obfuscate the path you would take to f off but you're not going to be
able to get closer by using yes you could always take a hostage
thank you my friend but i don't think i should follow your rudimentary tactics but then you'll
have a hostage though and cast coring charge it'll be i don't think i don't i don't think that's a wise
choice given the situation because i i'm not noticed yet they're just kind of getting an inkling yes
they're like it's kind of the some this car is following me a fair bit
i'm in a car now confirm you are you're a car baldrick i'm in one i'm in one i'm driving
us i'm driving a delorean playing shadow run now we're all fine yeah okay uh 5d6 sir 25 d6
yeah my my dice pool for stealth is quite high i didn't know we were playing orcs today let me get my
bucket it uh it's a toffee what are you doing you know what i think just for everyone's sanity i'm
going to give up on this one and i'm going to throw down a smokestick and i'm going to bail out
yeah you you manage to to drop a smokestick and and sort of like retreat back um this will bring
us uh back to to the other party members now who have um stewart medium with them did i out of
curiosity did i happen to keep good reference for what that beggar looked like um yeah you'd have a
like fairly fairly good good reference for them i'll look for that later continue on okay uh so
the rest of you are uh sort of like having having flown underneath or escaped in a variety of manners
uh you are now like on on sort of a a causeway away from the um the apple cart uh square uh that you
were previously at it's very clear like the sounds of fighting have died down there's now sort of panicked
rushes and move movement of regular city soldiery the menial undeads but but everyone's kind of giving
y'all a wide berth at this point um and then yes you are all with um our our good friend uh stewart
medium who is like like breathing heavily um i like tan hauser do you like drop the invisibility at any
point like once you're kind of in the clear because this like this legit this of course bellow has no
idea what's going on and as funny as it would be to torment him indefinitely i shall not i will drop
the invisibility um once we land and we're like in a decent way away assuming there's not like tyrants
guard they go oh yeah no no no no they they all seem to be sort of um sort of like having having
having left the area there's no one of you know hostile note that you can see yeah shortly after you
know orin flies down along with gorgamunker and then you have rahua who jumps over the edge just
sort of all of you come together yeah do you have like a cool reveal to him when you're out of
invisibility like yeah like a cool camera angle you're in the alleyway like it just fades over and
see the glowing eyes or like how is it it's like a predator cloaking it like just goes off in segments
for like revealing dan hauser in the dark alleyway oh oh oh oh my oh oh oh you were the one in the
toilet stall what what oh sorry i thought you're about to go you're the one in the toilet stall pissing and
sitting
uh uh well um oh oh uh uh oh oh uh uh uh um and as he's like trying to like get like
like some kind of understanding at this point i'll just assume like orin and gorgamunker as
well as uh rahua and veena all all appear uh i'm so glad i left this poor guy in your guys capable hands
yeah exactly
oh there yep oh yeah that's right i did run out of there
why did the tyrant's guild capture you did they pin the events of that night on you
yeah yeah they did it wasn't good they said all those things you did i did
and i was gonna get punished for it um but but but then the the the gold the gold the gold the gold
the the infillium the bump up that they told me that that that they were just gonna they were
gonna pardon me on the stage and then all that happened wait they were gonna pardon you while
you were standing underneath the noose that's why they didn't put the thing on me
clearly they were just telling you that to keep you pacified you can't trust a word out of these
people's mouths oh oh you think they were gonna kill me for real almost certainly
is the tyrant's guild known to pardon people at all
that sounds like that would be a bold society question
yeah
yeah i'll rock society as i try to consider because it has occurred to me that the tyrant's
guild could be attempting to butter up the populace by making a show of seeming it was so very nice
i'll use my nanites fuck my brain uh 28 yeah you uh you strain uh thinking about it activating your
internal nanites and as you do so you realize that is the exact type of thing that someone in the rank
of an infillium might do um that sort of like 4d chess play that wouldn't be expected but could
garner support and very much undermine uh ongoing revolutionary efforts
how interesting
uh as this happens you hear
there you are there you are as as uh sir crunch uh begins walking down the street waving
uh towards uh outset's greatest fucking detective um as well along with uh along with the architect uh
adept uh marlene uh they they like they the two of them approach i heard there was all sorts of
events happening i assumed you were involved i came right away do you just kind of always assume that
were involved uh when it was that foul creature that i battled after your fall into pits i had to be sure
marlene and and i i was and like like marlene sort of like looks up i was i was in the area and
sir crunch appeared and uh we we decided to to join forces to find you oh well uh thank you very much
uh is that is that elemental creature still here i must give it a good thwacking with my hammer once
again uh we're on the the floor below now can i still hear them uh battling that no the the sounds
have like have abated i think it's off again
of course it has you must have given it to the old wham wham and like you can see see crotch like
moving moving his like hammer but yes to have been there in such an epic duel no we ran like
we ran away oh i i dueled it very epically yeah i i i kicked his ass i assume orrin gets cut off
the office of venus says that yeah oh no we ran away like fucking cow i fought it greatly
beat the shit out of it but you know we had to get our friends out of there safely so you know i had
to had to oh i cut it some slack who's gonna cock his head down towards volley like very very clearly
trying not to make a scene of it i i don't know about that big dog you might not want to lie to him
who's volley fena oh shit sorry narrator yeah just like as she's like dusting the last of the the
salt rock off her boots oh oh boy how well haha how well this is this is good because now people don't
know i'm pardoned oh boy but but you said they weren't gonna pardon me so oh gosh where am i gonna go
where am i gonna live where am i gonna poop well we do have a hostel that you could hold up at oh
do you have any relevant skills
oh well i'm i'm really good at accounting what's your job i i'm i'm really good at accounting we
gotta get him a job at the leftist commune what what
he can count all the times i say revolution in a day true oh i don't think anybody can come that high
well i i i i i do i do finances up you know i worked up for for a little bit i worked at a
at a printing press company and handled the creation and distributions of posters and documents and all
sorts of things i i'm really good at managing these things excellent your skills are of incredible worth to
our revolutionary movement huh okay
tell me my friend uh and i put my hand on his shoulder are you willing to join a group of
revolutionary criminals in the destruction of the tyrannical state that has kept you in shackles and
bondage and threatens your life
uh we don't have a bathroom there yes oh that sounds real nice actually my man's got one like
marley like leans in like to tennis like we really could use the the help with the finances
crunch tried tried it even for the smithy it's not going so well
oh those numbers are just so wily you know they they keep changing every day it's like
you know they want to add more take away who can who has the time to keep track of all those numbers
well if you're uh you're a skilled accountant too given that evidently we are in need of one
i suppose you would know how to oh how how is it that they say that this phrase bake the books
yes oh oh so you're you're needing someone who can provide you with all sorts of tax related advice
and and then assist in fraud yeah basically we do commit fraud a lot we're literal criminals and
terrorists yes we are that my take is five percent of the fraud
okay okay that was easy that could balloon to be quite a bit we should have negotiated or whatever
hey guys good job five percent in a place to god if we could all have that in this terrible time so true
too real too real too real hulky well then my comrade i must ask you what is your name
tessin what was that tessin tessin well comrade tessin we shall happily hear you
regale us with the story of your life and your adventures but beforehand
we must briefly consider why is it that of all places the amalgamate came to your execution
i don't know i i had never seen that thing before might be your fault
but the amalgamate didn't follow us out of the city is it following us everywhere else
what what can i uh the the the fire and lightning thing correct
can i recall knowledge because i thought that when the party encountered dude he told them he
encountered that kind of creature uh yeah no no no you would remember dude absolutely
mentioned the amalgamate that it will look like in the area at least i would be so sure that it didn't
follow us if you recall our diminutive friend did mention that such a creature ambushed him and his
party out in the swamps it may very well have been looking for us
perhaps so then maybe it's time for us to have a final confrontation with this monstrous beast
and perhaps it may be to our advantage that it occurs in a public place
how do you mean well right now the tyrant's guild is tirelessly seeking to
mend its reputation to attempt to make right past wrongs it's a pathetic political ploy but among the
dispossessed it could be quite potent however if we publicly are able to undo the thing behind this
massacre a thing that very publicly was able to best then destroy tyrant's guild operatives
well then we may be able to undercut the anti-revolutionary tendencies without even attacking them
uh um uh if if i uh may may interrupt uh um mr tad hauser yes perhaps we should yes uh turn to um
the house yes i agree let us depart and continue uh schemes oh i'm i'm so excited
all right so with that are you all uh returning to uh uh to to baldrick's house the people's house
the people's house the people's house the people's tenement the people's tenement
it goes where's mr baldrick
has it been 10 minutes yet
i mean it's a big fucking city but yeah sure you can give me a survival absolutely
let's see what you get i believe
not not that not that good alack and alas i can um
i want to hear a point but i also want to vouch that okay i can obviously turn to a bird
word yep and and have you know eagle eye vision okay we're talking of city of a million people okay
correct you guys can still pick that out okay let me bullshit god damn it okay okay okay okay
yeah and uh i want to i want to re-roll can i potentially get a bonus
uh i'll allow you to re-roll okay just don't worry roll okay just just give me yeah give me that sweet
sweet on this nature
oh that is a 33 instead of uh 23 last time okay okay um so yeah as as as you are you're you
you you kind of do a fly about uh what are the like are the rest of you just waiting there or like
are you all making your way back to to baldrick's uh estate i think that even if orrin is incapable
of finding baldrick baldrick will naturally return back to his house unless there's other things like
unless you know he gets like captured by aliens or something
um and so i think returning to the house might be our surest bet
um because baldrick doesn't like return within a set amount of time we can go out looking for him
in force
it's true
you're welcome thirsty
you're thirsty you all could hear that like don't worry everyone like baldrick's fine
baldrick's fine don't worry about it
oh man the drink stand was great i'm so glad they had the root beer that i like
i'm so happy that tannhauser had time between saving a civilian who
might have been okay at the end to go to fucking mutton king yeah we have successfully uh
funking branded soda you got your own cup now you know like those bucky's cups which are like just
huge and yeah now it's a mutton king kind of cup just big ass insulated
mutton king okay um all right
i'm missing them oh um okay so uh yeah so so uh i assume what happens is the rest of you make your way
yeah back to back to the people's tenement as it is now known um and as you are making your way back
to the people's tenement um or and you sort of fly do a fly around and you are able to find
baldrick who i assume baldrick you're just like stealth in your way back home right
if i'm still think how can you see me because he rolled really high on perception and has eagle
vision yeah that's right wrecked i pet cash gorgamonger by the way okay so we don't have to deal with that um okay
okay okay i didn't see your role perception at all i did survival to track you down yeah that's fine
survival is the equivalent
what fine how what is baldrick doing when i find him like are you like behind a barrel in a carbon
box like the answer is rolling better at you at stealth fine you don't find baldrick and then you
all go back to the people's tenement anyways unless baldrick out of spite erndale is going somewhere
else i burnt frog ago baldrick's dead moves into his home squatters right foreign just like i get
i get baldrick's bedroom yay no you see i'm doing so i'm doing another bit i wanted to do another bit
here no no go with the bit yeah i'll follow uh but baldrick is going home but he is going to stealth
past all the fucking squatters sitting outside of his house who can't unlock the door oh oh it's
fine i can make actually that's actually not a problem because what happens is his crotch opens
the door to the smithy no see i i sneak into his door and i bar it from the other side of the chair
uh you were you were in the opposite direction so they are arriving before you do you're full of
shit you know that you could use a narrative declaration for that yeah if you want to narratively declare that
you're like fast stealth moving um and going to an opposite district or you know an opposite
district i'm going to narratively declare that crunch gets cholera instead how about that
well hold on if he if he he's getting cholera that implies there's a cholera outbreak and if i
can't have famine you can't have cholera i didn't say you couldn't have famine i merely said it was a
bad idea to do that this is a good idea we should all start eating lemons and limes just in case someone
narratively declared
vena you get scurvy
all right fine i won't sneak back i've been cut off at the pass by thirst and so oren finds me god
i know i'm i don't let anyone have any fun that's god forbid balder do anything i
narratively declare he goes to go see oppenheimer oren go sees the barbie movie then we'll switch
yeah
basically as i find baldrick oren lets him know this is what where everyone's going
i'm going to meet up and oh we're going to my house you say no we're going to cronch's house
you don't have a house baldrick it's going to our house all right all right so so so baldrick is
going to baldrick's house and the rest of you are going to cronch's that's the that's the mail
okay okay okay okay okay okay okay okay uh one sec change attempt
oh he could preload so it's easier when he's pre-bloating yeah so i can do this
welcome everyone to the people's tenement i hate you stop calling it that here's the wall
call it a house call it a house or i'm going to start committing my hero points to hurting the party
this is a threat
i'll meet you halfway we're gonna call the people's the people's multi-level the people's duplex
we'll we'll agree the people's duplex fine just don't call it a tenement all right that's just
cronch's half
all right after after so much time everyone thanks to to tell we have a map hell yeah
baldrick is is going to briefly wave at all four of them sitting over there and in cronch's side of
the house the hole in the wall oh hi baldrick you made it back good news we found a new friend
and also we hired a new employee oh hi my name's tess and i'm i'm i'm doing books now
oh good we are going to commit fraud
no all right it's it's just called being diligent it's so true bestie
all right that sounds fine to me you're going to keep all the sensitive documents over there and not
over here if you let us put things over there all right you want to be more respectful of the uh
rapidly delineating boundaries between these two buildings you can come oh and don't worry
everyone urn bill designed half of this map you can come over here if you need it if you need
something from me but you're not going to keep evil documents over here ones that could get me in
trouble like bounce checks or anything like that okay you keep that over there i uh i have a head
cannon to go off topic slightly i like to imagine the entire conversation baldrick is just laying
bricks that covered the wall so it's like yeah yeah you can come over just mortar
he's got that like he's got that like roach chalk that he's just like drawing a line with
he's like this is my side that's your
is the is the hole big enough for someone to fit through or is it like uh
well yeah crunch blew it open remember okay i wanted to make sure
square equivalent i i thought so i thought so i wanted to be sure though so i didn't have to do
more renovating with my sheer bulk you do it you don't he you do any renovating you're gonna
become part of the fixing
i will make planks out of you tree boy i'm not a tree you are wood he's our friend
damn he's a walking home depot
including the tax fraud well now that you're here baldrick in our house we can begin discussions on
my latest plan uh tanhauser i think you've made a stumble there what don't you mean our latest plan
plan and then i will and then you hear the vine boom in the background
takes off the mask it's the martinet roll initiative
you make a fair point yes yes our latest plan but we hadn't all accepted it yet
the latest plan sure i figured that this
latest series of stunts from our dear friends in the tyrants guild
exists mainly to bring positive attention to their oppressive reign
in fact our new friend ten what's his name again
it's it's in the chat
tense and decent
i'm sorry everyone about my beds about my
shit our new friend terry here okay i don't spell it consistently either that makes it easier to commit
the fraud that's a very good idea
yeah now then our new friend why is everyone moving
i'm listening i'm listening mr tanhauser don't worry about it goes the fridge takes out milk
that's the other experiment the tyrants guild claim they were going to
charge our newest companion with all of our crimes and then pardon them as a public facing show of
goodwill it follows a pattern of benevolence from our glorious rulership
so to that end i suggested a public display that would create no small amount of certainty
that we are the champions of this pilaster and that the tyrants guild are not
and that scheme is we are going to take that amalgamate we faced earlier
and we are going to destroy it now that it has created this public massacre now that publicly the
tyrants guild has been shown to be incapable of stopping it we will destroy it in a place that the pilaster
uh we'll see
well i don't see any particular reason that would be a that would be a bad idea but in this situation
we also have a great number of other things to keep an attention to namely he's going to point towards
the big hole in the wall maybe not bringing quite so many people back to this one place
well this is our safe house baldrick until we begin investing in additional property which i do approve
of this is that's right additional property like we were promised the hawk is it's good it's a good
it's very good property here did you die what no no no i say out of character no that was that was
dr crim she's okay yeah dr crim is the one who was turned who was experienced to mr ordinary sausage's
meat grinder yes the the gargoyle uh scholar do hawkis uh emerges from the the back of the far back
hall baldrick's house please get the fart gas off of my robot now
it's not on mine so it's just jordan has to refresh yeah let me let me refresh the stream hold
oh he's that's that's it's not the fart it's worse oh he's gassing the couch
it's just like the noble there we go
baldrick's going to point at do hawkis and he's going to actually be a little ornery uh delete his
token and put his token delete him kill him now oh you are sent to the phantom if it comes back he
still has an effect on yeah he has an effect on his character somewhere so just check the next
tab on his character sheet and he'll stop shitting all over the house he has none this is just the
token oh well i'm just farting you're doomed to expel for this session good luck i think you're
trying to constantly batman out of here but it's failing far left or far right bitch i'm
farting that or put the you put a fly thing on you right cast fly again put it on you and then
remove it i met garlic jr the code
for context the podcast basically we use boundary and it has a bunch of effects i haven't updated to
the newest stuff yet because i thought i was going through transition and all this other
shit so i haven't updated stuff yet that might have fixed this but currently 10 hours token is has
these clouds constantly coming out of them so it looks like he's constantly just farting out
of his token or token so he's talking so yeah he's toking right now and i guess it's just broken
and the effect stuck on him so uh man man really did just eat a pound of dry ice yeah i just tan
hauser just sits immediately on baldrick's couch takes out his mong duplicate the actor for him and
then put that down and see if that doesn't no put put farting tanhauser just use that for now
there we go and you should have uh ownership of it if not oh i really wish i could see these but
my computer will give me back my mango it's working okay sure there you go now that we've returned to
reality baldrick's gonna point angrily at duhakus where the hell did you come from don't tell me
there's a hole in the back
um oh no thirst and exploded he got angry he got angry energized rahua sorry oh he's trying to fix
for who is token he's constantly quickened i was like whatever rahua you're electric it's less
distracting let's go i'm kayo can't remember teleport i'd like to everyone to know too i have this very
nice kind of like oh man you're at this nice little like it's like damn dude dude like a
acoustic guitar going it's all nice little bells or it's supposed to be like an adventure shop i
couldn't find any other background music so i'm just imagining rahua is over there in the corner
just like a lightning storm tanhouser's vaping too much orange chugging down experimental milk chunks
and duhakus is like hi it's half a presses oran it's half a presses i'm never going to get the
world record time face there's a like clattering of pots and pans and various sundry items as uh
rahua was clearly rummaging in the kitchen and uh did not do well on a roll to rummage
yeah yeah uh-huh yeah you gmon sound affected a bit too hard so now you're electric but i think
someone asked uh the gargoyle a question yeah i was i was asking what how duhakus got in here
because it's my knowledge there's no holes in the back of my house so if she made one there's going to
be trouble oh no no no no no no no nothing so crunch just had a copy of the key made for me
all right let's baldrick's going to immediately storm through the other side and go and grab
crunch do hawkis don't worry welcome to go hey there welcome to crunch you're not supposed to go back
the first time you have heard him raise his voice that loud clang you hear this like muffled clang
through the through the door um there's a close there's a closed door uh you can hear the clanging
is coming through the closed door
clang clang uh he's gonna he's gonna push open the door immediately yep you push over the
door the clanging gets louder clang clang
clang he goes into the basement and he is going to shout once again crotch
i love the soap opera
thurston you want to cut to uh baldrick dragging crunch back into the other room yes
oh oh oh oh i don't know how you're doing this with plate i'm very heavy oh oh oh oh he's got
nearly declare roller skates on his feet
we're having a meeting about this right now oh team meeting time i've always wanted to get your
ass in here all right hi crunch he's eating cookies oh those are those are cyanide he lets uh
gets gorgamonger chill out the fill up the room i can't put the token down if you don't mind
just summons gorgamonger here you go buddy okay okay okay what's that uh
i love the sims episode guys oh it's great it's great it's why it's why we needed this this map to
exist um all right so we pokeball out the dragon thanks put him there put him there in the house
comes in um
um the the door to the shop opens after a clicking of keys marlene walks in
oh hello
get in here oh oh okay yank
all right look
this is this is not a secret place if you just keep making keys for the people who go
here you should have to be with someone who knows where this is if everyone has the key it's not a secret
let's let's just start laying that down straight away all right i i i know i know crunch yes and i
know crunch too yes i know me too yes and he gave both of you a set of keys
which you shouldn't have to my house
well um um technically it's to the store
pointing to giant hole
but you you invited me you dragged me you dragged me here
yeah and i i just have no understanding of personal spaces
dog oil culture is very different about that my people spend all their time perched wherever they
want well it's time to learn some culture about personal space
the first one being yeah if this is a secret it can't be kept if people are coming willy-nilly
oh oh okay
tohakis is sort of like looking around confused
oh yes oran yes oran yeah mr funny man what do you eat an apple i was having a bit that uh
does oran know what an aneurysm is because i might wonder if you might see
you want to give me a medicine yeah sure
listen i've taken enough medicine i can avoid an aneurysm i got digitalis dude
okay crow privately roll a two on the die for a 17. you uh baldrick's baldrick's suffering from just
acute stress
oran keeps eating his snacks with gorgamonger he's watching
no i'll fucking do you hear me there's more crackling of like pots and pans from the kitchen
as rahua is still going about
just going over there to look at him
just like walks over there stares at rahua walks back in front of the fireplace
look it's good that we're working together on this i'll admit that but the problem comes in that
if we're constantly coming and going from the same damn place with the same damn group of keys then
people are going to start to notice it you need to keep without separate keys
he's just gonna lean against the he's gonna lean against the fireplace the edge of it and just
he's exhausted already i believe we would be best off attempting to find additional safe houses
because while baldrick's home is indeed a public property it would be of great benefit for us not
to have merely one safe house doharkis crunch anyone are there any other places that could also serve
as decent secondary safe houses
and you were abandoned what are you doing in there
i think i from contents clues i think i know exactly what the
fuck he's doing in there i think he started with thirst and he's a bit preoccupied
uh rahua would you like to explain what you're doing now uh so rahua while he is instant
transmission around the kitchen trying to do the best he can with what is available in the home
uh has unsuccessfully and successfully accomplished what he set out to do the entire time which is
for who will burst through the door possibly knocking baldrick to the side or slamming the door in his face
i've been knocked to the side
did somebody say food no
did anyone did anyone say i was thinking it i'd like food i'm down for food what you're making rahua
i don't know i just put all this shit in the pot of the stove and made it jesus christ
what you see before you would be essentially a roast chicken some proper cooked vegetables
all prepared fairly nicely and properly seasoned for once no raw chicken this time
what are you holding a nice looking meal i don't know what this shit is yeah what does your apron
say as you come out it says everybody wants to party with the cleric
hell yeah brother oh i think i think we've made excellent progress on the discussions we should
table break and have some food together and has anyone other than me talked about this stuff
but i'll look at the chicken and i'll notice that it's not radioactive and so
i'll take a piece i'll take a drumstick oh we shouldn't we we're not savages come eat at the table
together we'll have to look into zoning to see what's even free or what can be made free
uh well soon we'll have a second skyward base yeah and don't forget we need to kill the rock monster
we have to eventually kill him yes but for now let's enjoy a moment of respite yes
very well this is lovely so good to have you all back if you need to move your token in hold
chef while you're dragging shift yeah hold shift to drag you let you monger out
gorgamonger out in the open for visualization for podcast listeners uh basically baldrick's house
uh he conveniently has multiple chairs for guests which is interesting and his home
and now you motherfuckers just like built them out of the ruins of my wall we stole chairs from outside
um so we're all now together all kind of like all at this table gorgamonger's just chilling out
out in the living room because he doesn't need food and basically everyone's is all here enjoying a nice
meal that we're who have made everyone's all together it's the it's the mouse noble vena
duhakas baldrick oran uh what's-her-face and and uh i can't remember her name sorry marlene
marlene and crunch all together orange seems to be beaming like he seems like you see like after
a long while he's he's smiling because he's looking around everyone going like he's like yeah he seems
very excited and as you all sit down to enjoy this meal there is a knock at baldrick's door
oh shit we got another chair
i don't know which one of us should go get that we're kind of in the middle of something i got it
a chicken i swear to god if you get blown away in the instant you open that door
look at the people okay uh yeah you look at the people there is a golden skeleton standing there
oh oh this shit again
i open the door it is holding out it explodes an envelope uh with it with a with a fine seal
on it this envelope is different from one you previously saw um but it is like handing it out
as though for you to accept it thank you very much
uh how's how's golden boy doing as you you just are you taking it like you just take the envelope
uh the gold the gold skeleton turns immediately and begins walking away okay goodbye
baldrick where's your alcohol
uh denatured alcohol is in the back let me go grab some methanol yay
oh so we got an envelope oren's eating a oh no keep it on my bed oh no we got an envelope that's it
i put it on the table
hey you're going he's getting alcohol he's getting he's getting some of his spare
aqua fortis i will open and read the envelope if no one else does oh my god
did your skin
fucking fry as soon as you come through here like just open up
don't worry you're a helmet you hazmat suit
fucking freak listen fellas rvmk reactor gores do not explode they don't we're fine
baldrick plonks down a rather ornate not ornate but like just well-made bottle that hears that has
like a clear spirit in it in front of uh vena all right i'm gonna i'm gonna pour myself a glass
because i was raised with manners you probably want to take that you probably want to take that in shots
i like the sound of that i'm gonna down the hatch what does it taste like uh you ever you ever uh
so ever clear it's it's it's it's very similar to ever clear with a distinct taste of uh fumes
burning through your nose uh it tastes like a poison but it's not it's just uh let me let me check
quickly check the uh the logic for it is it aqua fortis is that what it was oh my god no that's
nitric acid i don't remember what it is it's it's whatever the alchemical uh name for like just straight
ethanol is oh man i'm gonna roll a fortitude save thurston yeah please do
oh that's not very good that's a 22 yeah vena's gonna take a shot and just screw her face up just
the most the most like oh i dig it i'm gonna pour myself another
it's aqua aqua aqua vitae that's what it is excuse me
aqua vitae is a drink it is an aqueous solution of ethanol
it's orange munching on uh one that a chicken leg or so he's like what's in the what's in the
layer
i do you can't see it you can't fucking see that you're not allowed to see that you didn't see
that put it on the table hey tanny you're opening the letter right wait i know the tape oh you you
mean the drink that he passed vena no no he was meaning the the letter that's what he was saying
oh the envelope yeah yeah okay you're talking about the reopening it yes i will open and read it um
um it it is in fine immaculate script and reads you vena and your four guests are hereby invited to
the alabaster salon in the prince's pilaster tomorrow evening to attend the raucous gathering and cultural
viewing as put on by the illustrious sandal deckland bring your keen intellect but be ready to be swept off
your feet by sandal's unimaginable charm important announcements ahead the illustrious and then it
signed the illustrious sandal deckland heir of house deckland well there's our invites you see yes
it seems me volley and four other guests have been invited to this event being hosted by a man named sandal
you see it says here you karma volley referring to me because i read the letter oh oh oh right
what are you laughing at we're gonna take the letter okay all right so fancy party i propose
i don't have a really good shirt what do i wear you'll need you'll need more than just a really nice
shirt crunch so it's uh myself and four others it said yep all right so it's going to be me tanny
oran rahua and baldrick we're going to need outfits yes i made it oh yeah are you going on a social
gathering what could possibly go wrong in a social with all of you as do hawkus stares into the camera
and that's where we're going to call today's episode yeah hey guys i think the game master's
making fun of us don't worry i have a great charisma stat that i don't use
explaining the charisma stats that we all never use hi i'm zon the bear i've been your host i've been
your host today along with all of our amazing players who have brought you this episode of rock
and hope everyone had a fantastic time listening to us we'll go around the hornigans you can find
them on their socials and see what they're up to starting off with odo roshi hi hello it's me odo you
can find me on uh twitter as what what is it yeah we'll see how much longer i'm on x
uh gonna give it to you but you can find me on the uh community discord as well i do hang around
there uh and yeah uh i was playing volley the uh vena the self-squashbuckler i'm dead
can't get our story straight
next up we have hoki crow that is me i am hoki crow you can also find me on zitter uh that sounds like
like a slur right it sounds wrong all the same you can also see me in some very funny uh over
popa name productions i'm very lucky to be playing a number of characters through them including human
guy and all his horrible gurgling noises please watch half-life zero viscosity too uh you might
find me on other platforms like discord by the same username but i don't know if i want to get twitter
to elsewhere so we'll see and of course next up we have arandil uh you can meet me at uh twitter
at arandilio and yes i'm gonna still call it twitter because i don't care i'm gonna start crying
like flying ryan but yeah we are going to be working on a great number of projects for alphavisa at
ogrip opening and please keep your eyes peeled because we are currently working on hopefully
finishing and finalizing the script for hunter the parenting episode four jesus christ we can't
seem to stop touching this goddamn script speaker help we we we did finish the script
are we done touching it yeah we're done touching episode four now we need to start touching episode
five no um hi everybody i'm speaker d you can find me on twitter for now until
until the mass exodus until we all leave this crumbling hellhole of an app at super snake kick
and in addition to all of the lovely things i do with alphabusa and ogre popening i would like to inform
you all that you can preview the very first awakening one shot of uh my mage the ascension game of which we are
producing through ogre popening and giving some animation okay it's a live play but it's not live it's weird
and you can find that on alphabusa's twitter where you can see hulky crow awaken to the world of dark
and of course our last year's game master helps with everything thirst and human
oh hi it's me uh you can find me on all the things at on call gm um i'm gonna be at gen con this week
i fly in on wednesday but you'll probably if you're there i'll be there on thursday i will talk about that
in a sec but um yeah but i am the managing creative director for the starfinder role-playing game and um
i'm sure we'll have some cool starfinder stuff to talk about it gen con and i can't wait to talk about
stuff there and you know explain things i've been working on yay that's me yeah and do not date the
episode super hard uh this is for 2023 and stuff around at the end of july beginning of august so if
you're listening to this way in the future you don't have to worry about it but for now uh me
and thurston will be at gen con and stuff so you can come say hi to us then and of course i have been
your host uh zone the bear and everything else thank you all so much for watching today please let
people know that we exist either on youtube patreon a bunch of social media areas in anything literally
just google up narrative declaration you find the podcast version everything else please let people
know that we exist your support really helps keep us alive and keeps things running because without you
you guys we wouldn't be able to keep on going so thank you all so very much we hope you all have
a wonderful time and we will see you all next episode when we're back from gen con and stuff so
thank you all so much so long farewell and we'll see you next time
bye
you