Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Conversations With Thomas is a podcast where humor, heart, and a touch of sass collide. Hosted by Thomas Kevin Dolan, each episode explores raw, real topics like self-compassion, healing, and the delightful mess of being human. As the seventh of ten kids, Thomas didn’t always have a voice—now he’s sharing it with you, and trust us, you’ll want to hear this.
Expect vulnerability, laughs, and thought-provoking questions that dive into subjects most people avoid (because, let's face it, some topics just need to be tackled). With a mix of wit and wisdom, Thomas takes you on a journey where you might cry, you might laugh, and you’ll definitely feel a little more connected to yourself and the world.
New episodes drop every 2nd and 4th Monday. Tune in for a dose of honesty, heart, and just the right amount of quirky.
Ever noticed that life never asks for
permission before it decides one of your
long-held beliefs has expired? You're
walking along living your life and
suddenly a truth rises up from inside
you and says, "Sweetheart,
the shell you've been living in is too
small." Welcome to Conversations with
Thomas. I am your host, Thomas Kevin
Dolan, recording from the beautiful
island of Oahu, the ancestral home of
the Kanakamali, whose wisdom and aloha
continue to shape this land and teach us
what it means to live with reverence.
Today, we're talking about breaking the
shell of lack, a shell most of us never
built on purpose. A shell many of us
inherited. A shell shaped by our
caregivers fears, stories, and no doubt,
survival tactics.
And I want to take you back to the
moment my shell was formed.
One Christmas, a 100 years ago, all five
of us little Dolan were packed into the
backseat of my brother-in-law's Chevy
Impella.
Mom, my big sister,
and my brother-in-law
filled the front seat, all smoking
cigarettes, windows fogged. I was the
little boy wiping condensation off the
glass so I could see the Christmas
lights dancing across Calgary's Lake
Bonavista neighborhood.
It was magic.
It was wonder.
It was childhood's light wrapped in sand
and smoke.
As we ooed and aed our way through the
sparkling displays, my mom made a
statement that I would not understand
until decades later.
These people with all their money are
never happy. That was mom's declaration.
It slipped out of her mouth like a
throwaway comment, but it lodged itself
inside me like a prophecy. Fast forward.
I grew up. I worked. I created life. I
made money.
And I was not happy.
Turns out little Tommy absorbed a lesson
he did not know he was learning. Money
equals unhappiness.
Prosperity equals emptiness. Having more
means losing something essential.
Therapy eventually held up the mirror.
The belief was not mine. It was mom's. I
inherited my mother's shell. And that
shell became the container for my entire
relationship with prosperity.
Once I realized I had inherited a belief
that did not belong to me, something in
me cracked.
But cracking a shell does not mean you
rise instantly.
Breaking a shell often means you sit in
the rubble long enough to understand
what the hell kept you inside.
I partnered with a remarkable prosperity
coach of Long Island, New York, who ran
a program called the Prosperity Project.
She guided me through exercises meant to
stretch my nervous system, expand my
imagination, and challenge the inherited
scarcity that literally lived in my
bones.
And then came the assignment that I
hated.
Elise called it the prosperity game. One
week she asked us to go off and spend
hypothetically $1 million.
I was miserable. Other people were
having the time of their lives buying
imaginary islands and designer wardrobes
for fictional pets. Meanwhile, I was
sweating through the assignment like it
was a
a freaking tax audit. I could still feel
it, folks. When I returned to class, she
asked me how I felt.
This was the hardest thing I've ever
done, I said.
How did you feel? She asked. It felt
pointless. She leaned in and said,
"Pointless is not a feeling." And in
that moment, sadness rose up in me like
truth breaking through concrete. I said,
"I felt really sad trying to spend that
money." She paused,
let silence do its work,
then asked,
"Who taught you that having money meant
you would not be happy?"
The karmic circle closed instantly.
A foggy window, Christmas lights, my
mother's voice,
a belief that was never mine.
And the shell cracked open.
Breaking the shell is not about
rejecting the people who raised us.
It's about releasing the beliefs that
carried.
It's about releasing the beliefs they
carried that were never meant for us.
That's how we break the shell. Dr. Thema
Bryant reminds us, "You cannot heal in
the same environment that made you
shrink. I couldn't create prosperity in
an environment that was all about lack.
I had spent years shrinking around an
idea that was never mine. Believing that
happiness had prosperity actually
couldn't coexist. Believing that wanting
more was wrong. Believing that money and
joy could not belong to the same human,
to this human,
the shell had to go.
Breaking a shell is not onesizefits-all.
This is not just about prosperity,
not just about money. It could be a
belief
that's got you in a shell. It could be a
habit, could be a relationship pattern
that's your shell. an identity that
you've outgrown. That's your shell. Or a
story, a narrative that literally
doesn't fit. It's
Here's a simple practice that can help
you meet
yourself wherever you are around a shell
you've created for yourself.
Right? The first part of this is to
notice where you feel constricted.
Constriction, right, is information. Ask
yourself what feels tight in my life
right now.
Part two, identify the old patterns that
keeps the shell intact. Ask, "What
habit, belief, or fear keeps me inside
the shell?" Seeing the pattern loosens
its grip. Naming the elephant in the
room means the elephant can't be there
anymore. Having it means it doesn't have
you. Part three. Take one expanding
step. Ask, "What is the smallest step?"
I call them turtle steps that would
create more space for who I am becoming.
Shells break through tiny acts of
expansion. That's how they break. Ocean
Vong writes, he writes this and I it's
so beautiful. We are most beautiful when
we are unfinished.
And breaking a shell is choosing to grow
forward unfinished and luminous. Isn't
that beautiful? We are most beautiful
when we're unfinished. Let me do a
little promo for a new Instagram account
I have. It's called Heartful and Full is
F u L. Heartful Rebellion.
If this episode is stirring something in
you, I want to invite you into something
small but powerful.
Heartful Rebellion on Instagram is what
I call my microcast. Two or three times
a week as I am moved I share a short
they're like 1 minute 15 seconds 1
minute 25 seconds short self-contained
video that helps you loosen old patterns
and practice breaking the shells you've
outgrown they help me loosen my old
patterns they help me break out of some
shells that are still encasing me if
you're in a season of unlearning or
rising follow at heart full rebellion
remember full is f u l two l's a
companion for anyone on learning to live
from the inside out. Back to the
podcast. A note here, a mental health
note and an acknowledgement.
Before we wrap, just a gentle note.
These conversations are here to open
your heart, not to replace the wisdom of
therapists, counselors, certified
coaches, or other trained guides. If
life feels heavy, reach out to someone
qualified who can support you along this
work.
You do not have to do it alone. And
maybe that's a shell of yours. Maybe the
shell is I can get it all done by
myself. If that's it, inviting you to
maybe crack that shell. This podcast is
brought to light by me and lovingly
produced with my husband, Adam Ma. We
are grateful to share these
conversations with you.
In closing, breaking a shell of lack is
not a single moment.
It's a it's a lifelong unlearning, a
reclaiming, a remembering.
You are not your inherited beliefs. You
are not your family scarcity. You are
not the stories that were handed to you
before you actually had language.
You are allowed to have more. You are
allowed to want more. You are allowed to
rise into a life that fits the truth of
who you really are in this moment. And I
thank the energy of who you are in this
moment for being here now. Thank you for
walking this 18inch journey with me. I
will meet you in the next conversation.