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Welcome to The Foster Friendly Podcast. We’re bringing foster care closer to home by sharing stories from the front lines. We're talking with former foster youth, foster parents and others who are finding unique and powerful ways to dramatically improve the experiences and outcomes for kids in foster care.
The Foster Friendly podcast is brought to you by America’s Kids Belong, a nonprofit that helps kids in foster care find belonging in both family and community.
Brian (00:00.674)
Hello and welcome to the Foster Friendly Podcast. I'm your host, Brian Mabus, and I've got my two wonderful co-hosts with me today, Courtney and Travis. And I'd like to take a moment since we're still towards the beginning of this year and we have new listeners coming all the time of doing a little brief reintroduction. So Courtney, you want to start us off and tell us a little bit about who you are.
Courtney Williams (00:25.654)
I'm Courtney Williams. I've been a foster mom for going on, well licensed for going on 18 years now. I've had over 80 kids in and out of our home and nine children, which is absolutely nuts when I say it out loud. Of those nine, four out of the house, I feel like I'm beginning to become an empty nester, even though I still have five kids in the home.
It feels weird.
Brian (00:49.314)
You'll be a grandma with elementary kids at the same time.
Courtney Williams (00:51.342)
Yes, yes, keep reminding me. I've been with AKB for going on five years now and I've had many different roles. So, but this role of being on the podcast has been a super fun one.
Travis (00:52.498)
That's a wrap.
Hahaha
Brian (01:06.828)
Yeah, well great. Thank you Courtney and Travis shares share with audience a little bit who Travis is.
Travis (01:12.466)
Well, I have less kids, but more gray. I'm Travis and I have been with AKB since I believe 2017, long time. And we are adoptive parents. have five kids, my wife and I, and we were foster parents at a group home in South Carolina for, I want to say like four years. And so we had a lot of adventures and.
Courtney Williams (01:15.906)
Yeah.
Brian (01:21.868)
Long time, yeah.
Travis (01:40.368)
learned a lot there in that setting. I, I referenced that a lot in these conversations in that context. Yeah. Working at AKB in the storytelling role and doing the podcasts and still doing a little grant work in there.
Brian (01:54.574)
Great, thank you. And then I'm Brian Mavis, co-founded America's Kids Belong with my wife, and before that was Adopt Colorado Kids, and you'll hear a little bit about that on this episode. But fostered for five years when we then transitioned to starting Adopt Colorado Kids and then continued to do kind of a non-traditional foster care with an aged out youth for a few years.
And then a grandparent to a bunch of kids, a few who have been adopted from foster care. So that's just a bit about me. And today, the three of us, we normally will have two of us on this call and we'll have a third person who is a guest. Today, it's going to be three of us and we're kind of our own guests, but.
It's a unique episode because we are, in a sense, bringing in multiple guests who are part of our staff who run one of our key programs. so Courtney, why you do a little bit better job than I just did of helping our audience understand what they're about to experience since it's a unique episode.
Courtney Williams (03:14.917)
Yeah, so what people might not realize is America's Kids Belong is nationwide organization, not nationwide, but across the nation. And so we don't all work together. don't we work together, but we don't live close to each other. And so we have staff meetings once a quarter. And in one of our recent quarterly meetings, people were sharing stories of success of their I.B.P. I Belong project.
Brian (03:22.776)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (03:27.245)
Mm-hmm.
Courtney Williams (03:36.78)
And as we were listening, was like, my goodness, our listeners need to know these stories. They need to hear these boots in the ground stories of our amazing staff members across different states who are doing great things and supporting kids. And so we took those stories and had them record the stories for you guys to see and listen to from their states, what's happening and how IBP is making the impact. And then we're going to respond to those things as the host to give you a little more context and idea behind what America's Kids Belong, I Belong Project is.
Brian (03:41.015)
Mm-hmm
Courtney Williams (04:06.316)
So before we even dive into those things, Brian, why don't you just tell us, how did IBP come to be, tell that story?
Brian (04:13.538)
Yeah. So, back when, my wife and I started adopt Colorado kids about 15 years ago, 16 years ago, what we did at first was take photographs of kids. We actually were at that time, we're running what was called the Colorado heart gallery. was the second heart gallery in the country. And then through that the years, more heart galleries, were popping up around the country at ours. Then at that time had become the largest.
And there were a few times when we were at these photo shoots, photoing kids, giving them a compelling image that they would share stuff with us. And there was one specific time that was a real game changer. We were up here in Northern Colorado in Loveland doing a photo shoot and a sibling group of three, oldest brother.
and two little sisters were coming and the brother was separated from the sisters. They were in two different foster homes and looking for their place to be adopted, but they were separated currently. So they show up, the brother first and then the girls show up and they run towards each other and they hadn't seen each other in months. And so they're happy to see each other emotional.
They, we do the photo shoot and then afterwards the boy comes up and he's like 10. I comes up to my wife and ask her, how long will it take for you to find a family so we can all be together? And so she came home and told me about this interaction and she said, you know, a phrase, it kind of changed everything. She goes, you know,
I love it that people can see these kids and then read their stories, but I wish they could hear what they say. I wish they could hear what I hear. And so that's when we started thinking, let's see if we get kids videoed. And we went to the state, got permission to do so. We didn't have any connections or talent in that area, but God provided and
Travis (06:15.356)
Hmm.
Brian (06:37.976)
quickly, we got some special funding and some special professional video help and started rock and rolling and it made a huge difference. And when it came to the effectiveness, especially of the older kids, where people could say, gosh, I mean, it's not just, there's a good photo. actually get to see their personality and hear their hopes and hurts and a little bit of their history and
And so it just made a big difference. And not only did it help draw people in, turn their heads and hearts towards these kids. said, again, especially the older ones and the sibling groups and seeing them interact with each other and we'll see a little bit, but it also surprisingly and thankfully weeded people out because
Travis (07:25.138)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (07:32.988)
Hmm.
Brian (07:34.487)
Sometimes with a photo, you're like, that kid is cute. And, and they're like, but then you're on having them on video. We're always working for dignity, but also authenticity of like, Hey, if this kid is nonverbal or there's something that is some characteristic of, you know, hyperactiveness or whatever, we want people to know that. And so that, people could say, you know, they can be compelled, but they could say, I'm probably our family is probably not.
Travis (07:37.638)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (07:53.49)
Mm-hmm.
Courtney Williams (07:57.135)
So that's a big, oh, but they can say, I'm probably doing something, probably not, if I could. So it's a big job.
Brian (08:04.302)
the right fit. And so it did a great job of drawing people in and then also kind of self-selection. And so that was the beginning of how that started. And then since then, you know, we've grown to multiple states and we've done thousands of kids' videos. And so, in fact, I think the most recent stats are we've filmed 4,258 kids and we have never turned a kid down.
Travis (08:05.788)
Hmm.
Brian (08:33.742)
So how kids are selected is the states decide. They say, would you advocate for this youth? And not only do we do their videos and we do it so that they have a ton of fun, they have a great experience. We commit to a two year kind of recruitment journey with the child, though most of the kids get, if they get matched, they get matched far sooner than that, but we commit to two years. And so we've had 2,081 of those kids,
matched with families. right at half of those kids that we've filmed. And then we've had over 17,000 families inquire about those kids. So a lot of families, they might see a kid, inquire about a child. Maybe they get selected to be that child's matched family. Many times,
they may not get matched with that family, but it gets them going down that road and they end up becoming an adoptive family to another child that maybe we never even videoed, or they become a foster parent. So it's not just that a couple thousand kids have been matched, it's way more multiplied the number of adults to get engaged and.
Travis (09:42.034)
Hmm.
Travis (09:51.548)
Hmm.
Brian (09:57.141)
find their path and adopt another child or foster or do something else. So it's been a profoundly effective program more than the direct statistics even tell.
Travis (10:10.99)
Mm-hmm. It's awesome.
Brian (10:15.278)
And so, so as you mentioned, then we're going to, had a staff conference call and some of our staff around the country were just sharing stories of kids that they had videoed. And we were all just like, gosh, I mean, I didn't know that story, man. More people need to know about that. So that's where this podcast is going to share some of those stories.
Courtney Williams (10:15.372)
Yeah.
Courtney Williams (10:40.686)
Okay, with that, let's go ahead and play the video from Dana in Kentucky.
And I'm just going to kind of make a little note of each time where we are for Edmund and then we'll start. Yeah.
Travis (10:50.875)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (10:51.126)
Okay. Yeah. Okay.
Travis (10:55.57)
Amazing
Brian (10:55.746)
All right, so let's see how we can do this. Here we go. All right, well that video, let me start over and we'll be quiet. Ready? We'll give this a take one. We'll see if we can go with it. All right, so that video was from our iBalong project manager, Dana in Kentucky. She's amazing and also is deeply involved in this world personally.
Courtney Williams (10:57.524)
you
Travis (10:59.602)
Wow.
Brian (11:25.834)
she really shares, the impact of social media and how it, really activates people. And it does more than just draw awareness. It really, compels people. And so, tell me, I mean, based upon what you guys just heard there, I mean, what, what caught your attention?
Courtney Williams (11:48.479)
I love how she shared, you know, these two boys in a two week time period having 90 inquiries. But I think that was interesting to me is she said 40 of those inquiries were people who had never considered fostering before. So just the value of, you know, people seeing these videos that are like, wow, I I didn't know this was a need. I didn't know this was something I could do. I never considered foster care. I've never thought about it. And so of those 90, you know, obviously they're not all going to adopt the same kiddo.
Travis (11:54.45)
Wow.
Brian (12:00.505)
Right?
Travis (12:01.19)
Wow.
Travis (12:08.37)
You
Courtney Williams (12:15.362)
but just what it leads to and it leads to movement and activation and people witnessing that there is a need and maybe getting involved.
Brian (12:22.678)
That was really, you know, that illustrates really specifically and profoundly what I was saying earlier about, you know, we might think, you know, the effectiveness of the iBalong project is kids, you know, individual or sibling group and one family, and there's a match. But this, you know, got, you know, 90 families engaged, 40 for the kind of the first time. And so this was our conviction.
early on when we were doing photos, when we were challenged to help kids find families, our conviction was that the best advocates and recruiters for the kids were not government employees, weren't preachers, weren't politicians. It was the kids themselves. And we just needed grownups who would give them a chance to share their own stories. And of course, you can see right there that these kids
are the ones who get people's attention, turn heads and hearts towards them and, to have 40 families say, gosh, for the first time, I'm really interested in something that is profoundly meaningful and profoundly challenging. And so it's, yeah, it's huge. What social, like these kids and what social media can do, through their stories.
Travis (13:54.098)
Yeah, and just by way of context, I was thinking too, to kind of frame the overall picture is that if around 400,000 kids are roughly in the US foster care system and one in four, so about 100,000 of those kids are generally sort of what they call legally free or adoption eligible. I was just doing a little bit of digging on what is it kind of the profile of a kid in care and
Brian (14:09.976)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (14:20.164)
It's, it sounds like on average kids wait three plus years. And these are those who are adopted eligible, wait three plus years in care. And so I think the game changer before being adopted of the IBP, I belong project is that within is often a year, right? That, that almost 50 or 50 % are adopted. like, that's often like in a year, I mean, it's making progress quickly too.
Brian (14:46.616)
Yeah, they get matched within months usually. well, here's the other thing that people may not know is I mentioned that the state selects the kids. Well, the kids that they give us are the longest waiting kids. And so they're like, hey, it would kind of run out of options. And so we're their last best chance for a family so that they don't languish longer in the system.
Travis (15:02.354)
Hmm.
Brian (15:14.838)
to eventually age out and probably age it into something that is another wound. so, yeah, it really can, I mean, I've seen lots of stories where kids have said they've been in the system five years, they haven't had even an inquiry in the past two years, and then we do a video and they get dozens within weeks.
Courtney Williams (15:40.335)
And the even cooler or maybe equally cool amazing thing about this is that, you think of 90 inquiries about these two boys. That means that there's that many inquiries the team gets to choose between and know they know these boys and to think about like who would be the best family for this kid. And now we're choosing a family for a kid and not a kid for a family. Do we have multiple people and families to choose from? I mean, that's, that's a beautiful thing.
Brian (15:41.39)
.
Yeah
Travis (15:44.786)
I
Brian (15:54.935)
Yes.
Brian (16:06.154)
I love that. I'm glad you brought that out. because it, I mean, it's, gives them the best chance, for, permanency and thriving. hopefully a phrase that, you know, a friend of mine says is help the child keep the most and lose the least so that they can keep siblings together or they possibly can stay in their same, school district, those kinds of things.
Travis (16:24.146)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Travis (16:32.263)
Yeah.
Brian (16:34.528)
All right, that's good. So the next one is Courtney, who do we have coming up next?
Courtney Williams (16:34.902)
Okay.
Courtney Williams (16:40.418)
We've got Rebecca from Georgia, and she's gonna actually share two stories, but we're first gonna hear a story of a little girl named Heaven.
Brian (16:50.478)
All right.
Travis (16:54.128)
Ahem.
Courtney Williams (16:58.678)
might be a shorter one that we talk about, but pretty cool story.
Brian (17:00.5)
Yeah, OK, yeah, that's true. Yeah, OK, ready? Here we go. Alright, I mean that was a unique one. I mean that's not something that happens every time for sure, but tell me you guys what what stood out to you there in that video.
Courtney Williams (17:19.372)
It's unbelievable, really. I mean, I would have never, I didn't know that story until we had the staff meeting. And so knowing that a biological family found her through seeing this IPP video, I mean, it's like worth what we do right there. Yeah, what are the odds?
Travis (17:20.679)
Yeah.
Brian (17:24.408)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (17:31.772)
for the odds.
Brian (17:34.829)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we always said that, you know, there's a family for every child. And it's amazing that sometimes, you know, that it's, gosh, there were actual was a, how do you want to put a blood connection in that one? And so it also illustrates that.
that desire that we have to give the child the best possible match. And it's not always the case that a biological family is the best match. In fact, I've known some real tragic stories of the children have gone to biological families and it's badly. so, there are also the opposite.
Travis (18:11.174)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (18:26.769)
Yeah.
Travis (18:31.632)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (18:32.718)
relatives that just they just needed to know. this is Heavens. Heavens is a beautiful story of it going well.
Travis (18:40.208)
Yeah.
Travis (18:49.808)
Yeah, it's amazing.
Brian (18:54.592)
All right, let's see what's next.
Courtney Williams (18:59.118)
Okay, now we shift up to South Dakota and our RBP manager, Renee.
Brian (19:05.698)
All right, let's see what she says.
Brian (19:14.702)
Okay, so what does astern you when you hear that this young girl waited 518 days after filming before finally being placed?
Courtney Williams (19:28.782)
Again, value of those kiddos, like you said, that the state chooses, these are the kids that we've tried. And some people don't understand what that means. I just led an informational session of people that are interested in foster care and adoption. And people were like, what do you mean there's kids that are waiting to be adopted in foster care? A lot of people just don't even understand that. So now what that means is when a kid is in foster care, they're going to first try to reunify the kids.
Travis (19:28.85)
It's a long time.
Brian (19:28.872)
That's it's much much longer than our average, but yeah, I mean almost two years
Travis (19:31.655)
Yeah.
Brian (19:52.44)
Mm.
Courtney Williams (19:58.613)
If that doesn't happen, they're going to look for family members. If that doesn't happen, they're usually going to first ask the foster family with it, who is currently fostering the child to say, hey, are you open to adoption? If they say no, they're going to look to their families within their agency that they know, and it's going to keep getting this like wider net, so to say. they're now these kids that we were filming are those kids like you said, Brian, that have been waiting that they don't have.
Travis (20:14.129)
Mm-hmm.
Courtney Williams (20:24.322)
reunification is not happening. They have not found a biological family. The current foster family is not an option. The foster families, know what our options are. And so now it's like, okay, this kid still deserves a family. And how can we find that family? And that's when this happens. And when you say hard to place, I would venture to say almost all, if not all of the kids that we are filming are the hard to place kids. They are kids who have been waiting for a long time, are kids who are older.
Travis (20:25.863)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (20:35.249)
Right.
Travis (20:47.526)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (20:47.597)
Mm-hmm
Courtney Williams (20:51.99)
are kids who might have a special need or multiple siblings that they're trying to adopt together. So just the value again of the videos and what that did for this child. It's worth it. These kids are worth it.
Brian (21:03.756)
Yeah, yeah. Travis, what struck you on that?
Travis (21:08.558)
Yeah. I think a lot of times as I think we talk about languishing care and I just, my mind often goes to just like, I've said this a lot in other episodes, but just what would it be like to be part of a story where the outcomes always sort of just floating around? You just don't know what's going to happen. You know, am I ever going to, you know, I mean, at some point when you realize you're not going home, but then from there, it's like,
Am I going to be adopted? What would that family be like? What if it's scary? What if, they're worse? What, you know, I mean, so like what a kid is facing. And then on top of that, being in school, maybe you're a teen or whatever, dealing with just a normal peer pressure and normal, like just the craziness of that is. And on top of that disconnected from really not only just your family and that identity, but what is my future mean? And I think that hovering on certainty is just.
It's horrifying in a way. It's just a picture of what that would be like. So to have closure and conclusion to these stories of kids getting belonging through family, just unbelievable.
Brian (22:14.574)
Yeah. Conclusion. That's a, that's a good, good word. Courtney, you use the phrase and maybe some people have not heard it before others have, but it's hard to place. And I, I want to make sure that people, don't see that as a disparagement on the child themselves. because it sounds like, they're hard to place because they're the problem. I think it's this disparagement on us that we're like,
we consider some kids, you know, not worthy enough to have a family. And so it it's if anything, it's their kids hard to place because there are adults with hearts that aren't big enough. And so. Yeah, yeah.
Courtney Williams (22:50.06)
Yep.
Courtney Williams (23:00.974)
Or the lack of knowing, right? I think, again, I think people just don't even know that this is out there sometimes. And so a kid who's languishing in a system that people don't know about can lead to being hard to place, even though they're wonderful children who are, you we've adopted three that you would consider hard to place. And their story has been belonging and adding so much value and joy to our family that I can imagine without.
Brian (23:22.094)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (23:29.666)
Yeah. Yeah. The other thing, this specific story shows, and it happens a lot, is when people think about what this program is, iBalong Project, all they really see is the finished video. And like, know, here's the two and a half minutes, and you know, that's what these guys do. And it's like, well, that's the most public facing thing that we do. This is part of a two year commitment. And we have had
Travis (23:30.918)
Yeah.
Brian (23:59.565)
kids adopted who in fact one of our staff has adopted a girl who did three different videos over the years. And so we have a multi-year commitment when we video kid to help them find a family. And so it's not just one and done. did the video, put it in the can, get a lot across our fingers. It's just the beginning.
Travis (24:10.225)
Wow.
Brian (24:29.206)
of a multiple commit multi multi-year commitment with multiple organizations advocating for those kids. Okay. Let's move on to, are we back in Kentucky? This one with this story.
Travis (24:37.884)
Yeah.
Courtney Williams (24:44.344)
We're back in Kentucky and this is fun because you kind of did a great intro into, you know, multiple people also involved. So, you know, not only a long time period that we're as AKB were involved, but it's also many other people that get to be involved. So let's hear what Ellen has to say about that.
Travis (24:47.098)
and
Travis (24:52.007)
Hmm.
Brian (25:05.154)
All right, so that was a great example, Courtney said, of multiple people. And this shows what happens when creative people step into the foster care space. I mean, they often leave change too. you guys react to what Ellen shared.
Travis (25:12.306)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (25:16.658)
Mm-hmm.
Courtney Williams (25:24.312)
I love, Travis, have you got to be at a IBBE shoot before?
Travis (25:28.08)
I was just gonna, I was gonna ask you the outset. mean, I'm sure both you guys have, I've not, so never. All the grant writing for this and never put me on a plane tomorrow, please, Brian.
Courtney Williams (25:32.724)
Yeah, it is. We've got to get Travis to issue. I think that this is one of my favorite parts about an IBP issue is, you know, working in this space, I'm familiar. I know, like I know the need still touches me every single time I've been to issue. But seeing people who have not witnessed that before and who don't understand foster care or don't understand the need and then seeing them show up to issue.
Brian (25:33.241)
really?
Brian (25:37.07)
We gotta change that, right? Okay.
Brian (25:52.301)
Hmm.
Courtney Williams (26:00.983)
videographers, photographers, sometimes it's like people who are doing hair or people who are just willing to take them from place to place, whatever that might look like, to see their reaction to this is so inspiring. And again, getting more people to understand the need is something other people wouldn't even recognize or know that this happens behind the scenes, right? Like this volunteer photographer story.
Brian (26:25.368)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (26:26.882)
I, one time I was talking to a, actually it was a volunteer in Kansas that worked on an I belong project shoot. And she has this crazy story of where she was interviewing what at that time was a teenager who then later becomes her daughter years later realizes she was the one interviewing her. it's just unbelievable, you know, just that another kind of wild story about.
Brian (26:49.516)
Wow, yeah. Yeah, we've had many of the creative.
Courtney Williams (26:52.396)
And not only that, the opportunities for these volunteers to give back, you know, the photographer to say, hey, I'm willing to give of my time and my passions and my, you know, my, my business to do this. but then, like you said, we've seen multiple, I've heard many stories across our States of people who have then gone on to foster or have gone on to become adoptive parents. Sometimes, like you said, of even the kids that they're working with that day. it's pretty incredible.
Brian (27:22.092)
All right, so now onto our next one. And this story, I think, to me was especially powerful.
Courtney Williams (27:30.798)
We are on with Rebecca again in Georgia of a couple of brothers.
Brian (27:35.459)
Yeah.
Brian (27:39.831)
All right, so this one is powerful, the power of brotherly love. I mean, not only, gosh, how do want to put this? You've got people who, this is their job, they're professionals, they've seen this a lot, and they might get, I don't want to say the word jaded, but they just, operate, they seem so much that,
Travis (27:55.122)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (28:10.114)
They operate very, technically, I don't know how to say it. But then to show how the video changed a decision maker's mind is super powerful.
Travis (28:17.5)
Yeah.
Courtney Williams (28:22.712)
Yeah.
Courtney Williams (28:27.254)
Yeah, it really is pretty cool. you know, thinking about kids and brothers and sisters being split and people ask, why is that? Should they ever be split? And I'm willing to bet the reason these kids were split was because they were multiple kids and they thought, well, we don't have somebody who can foster all of them or there's no way we're going to find someone that'd be willing to adopt all of them together. And so we need to split these kids to find them permanency and then to find out that that's not always true. And it's beautiful when they can be adopted together.
Travis (28:33.618)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (28:41.83)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (28:45.219)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (28:54.876)
Right.
Courtney Williams (28:57.268)
and stay together. seeing and then just seeing the power of their relationship. Like you said Brian, like for somebody to be watching that thought, hey, we better try adopting them separately. And then to recognize like, that's not best for these kids.
Travis (29:11.377)
Right.
Brian (29:12.108)
Yeah, yeah, and you see, probably people are surprised to know that siblings do get separated, but there is a rationale to it that it's like, well, better that they get adopted separately than none of them get adopted together. But again, we really work towards keeping siblings together and the best way to do that is to show them being together.
Travis (29:37.84)
Yeah. Yeah. And by way again, of sort of some context, looks like in the adoption realm of this, that 20 to 35 % of kids who go on to be adopted do become split. And if it's a sibling group of four or more, you're looking at 50%, which is understandable just with capacity and then, you know, maybe special needs within that group. But when you can keep and preserve a family within a family intact like that's, that's amazing.
Courtney Williams (29:57.486)
and
Brian (30:02.476)
Yeah. So that, that, that there, there was that moment. I don't even, I don't even think it got onto the video itself. And that's again, kind of the behind the scenes things that Rebecca shared was the story about the old brother holding the football a specific way. And the two younger ones seeing him and then changing their, how they held the ball. It just shows the power of, of, of, of keeping siblings together and how they can be.
Courtney Williams (30:02.652)
Yeah.
Brian (30:31.532)
supportive of each other and help they can help each other through the adoption process.
Courtney Williams (30:32.174)
you
Travis (30:39.278)
Yeah, that's a great point. And I know we've talked to other families that have, you know, kind of adopted sibling groups and seen that at work where sort of this family that joins into this family, there's a dynamic there that often they'll see like one of the kids or more where they're able to sort of relate and kind of cushion the blow to some degree, but also sort of be a liaison a little bit to the parents of like, Hey, this is what Jimmy kind of does or whatever. And so like, you kind of see that.
Brian (30:55.896)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (31:07.986)
Kind of cool dynamic to a play.
Brian (31:10.456)
Yeah, I love that story and I love it when siblings can stay together.
Courtney Williams (31:13.196)
Yeah.
Courtney Williams (31:17.248)
Yeah, for sure. Okay, and then the last video that we're going to share is going back to Renee in South Dakota and sharing a sweet adoption story.
Brian (31:31.33)
All right, so this one shows that adoption can be challenging and can be a grace-filled way of learning to love. And so tell me, you guys, what struck you on this story?
Courtney Williams (31:53.333)
There's obviously beauty in adoption, right? But I think it would be remiss if we didn't talk about the grief that comes, that is inevitable. And oftentimes, like she mentioned, in multiple people within the story, it's not just the kid, you know, it's the biological family that's going to be grieving through this. Sometimes it's a foster, oftentimes it's a foster family that who had those kids in their home who are grieving the loss of that child and maybe their kids or their extended extended family or people in their circle.
but then also within families. Sometimes people are choosing adoption because they've dealt with infertility or they've dealt with loss. And so there is a lot of grief around it. And again, we have some webinars around this. We have talked a lot on our podcast to different people who can speak into this and have stories about it. But again, I just think we'd be remiss if we don't highlight the fact that adoption is a beautiful thing, but it also comes with loss and grief and hardship.
Travis (32:42.162)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (32:47.928)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (32:49.234)
Yeah, it's right. I was thinking, I mean, it's born out of brokenness. The very need for adoption was that there was a severing of a family. That's extremely sobering and it is something to lament while also knowing that the redemption that happens through a new family formed and the healing and all that is amazing. I kind of, I think of from a previous guest that talked about the time orientation, which still is a powerful thought to me of where
Courtney Williams (32:53.838)
Thank you.
Brian (32:56.44)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (33:16.282)
You know, for many adoptive kids, you know, it's they're always looking back the rear view mirror. What was behind them? Well, often the adoptive parents are looking forward in the windshield. What's ahead? You know, and being excited. And so sort of you see that difference in time orientation. What I loved in this story was where also because of the parents own grief of loss and miscarriages, there was maybe more of a sense in their own story of loss.
Brian (33:27.308)
Hmm
Brian (33:31.874)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (33:43.17)
Mm-hmm.
Travis (33:43.664)
that then when they could maybe even have more compassionate understanding around their, the kids' loss as well.
Courtney Williams (33:49.423)
Yeah, Yeah, I would just say that I think that a lot of people are going to oh, I'm to oh, to oh,
Brian (33:50.755)
That's yeah, that's good. Yeah, I want to just say to our listeners that I think that a lot of people, most people maybe, deal with grief by trying to avoid it. And I just want to welcome you to the real world and reality therapy is you're going to experience grief in this life and the best way to deal with it
is to face it and to go through it, but don't go through it alone. And be prepared. mean, in this life, you will have trouble and you'll have grief. so it's a common, it's a human experience. But what's unique here in the adoption world is you're choosing it.
And I would say that is obviously a hard thing and a brave thing. But also by choosing it, you're helping a child not have to go through it alone. You're helping them heal. But to do it, you have to enter into it as well. And I want to thank those of you who have even considered doing this kind of thing for
having hearts that are big enough to say you're willing to have them be broken so that could help another child to heal. that was something that my wife, when we were foster parents, all our stories ended towards some sort of reunification or an adoption to another family. And we always experienced the loss of a child that we loved.
Travis (35:38.231)
Hmm.
Brian (35:47.535)
The lesson that we told and learned and told ourselves and learned ourselves was as the adults, we have chosen and know how to let our hearts break and then let our hearts heal. And that it's worth it so that you can help a child.
know that they're not alone and know that someone loves them.
Travis (36:21.426)
Well said.
Brian (36:26.38)
Well, I thank you guys for sharing these stories and how they impacted you. I, again, I wanna thank our staff who does this work. And it's not just the people that you heard, and there's so many people behind the scenes that make this go well. I wanna thank the people who do inquire on these kids, no matter whether it led to a specific.
Travis (36:41.66)
Mm-hmm.
Brian (36:56.514)
a match to a specific child or led you on a different journey. I am just grateful for people who are willing to let a child's story, hear their history, hear their hurts, hear their hopes, and let that impact them. Let that turn their heads and hearts towards the child and that they step into that. So I want to encourage our listeners to let these kids
impact your lives, and then you take the next right step for you.
Travis (37:31.676)
Hmm.
Courtney Williams (37:32.634)
Yeah, and I do encourage our listeners if you're, if this is new to you, you're like, I've never heard of this, I don't know about Heart Galleries, go to our website and on the top of our website, americaskidsbelong.org, there's a button that says adopt and it talks, walks you through what foster care, adoption through foster care looks like. And then we also have a link to our IBP and kiddos, like I said, who are waiting, who have been waiting for a family to say yes to these kids who deserve it.
Travis (37:58.288)
Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, just to add onto what you said, Brian, as well as that, and you kind of said this, but like that kid that you may see that you fall in love with that, that you see is fitting into your family and the imagination goes wild. You may, that may just be the catalyst to your journey that becomes another kid. Cause likely with so many inquiries, you know, that may not be the kid that you ended up being able to adopt, but that kid is who caught your attention and turn your head.
Brian (38:27.587)
Yeah.
Travis (38:27.6)
and let your heart follow that.
Courtney Williams (38:28.206)
Yeah, have a good day.
Brian (38:30.051)
Yep.
Alright, thank you guys.