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Whatever your position on Valentine's Day as a holiday, there's no denying the cultural charge of romantic expectation around us. What do you do when you run into your first post-divorce Valentine's Day? Stories from listeners who've done it this week on the show.
Show Notes
Whatever your position on Valentine's Day as a holiday, there's no denying the cultural charge of romantic expectation around us. That charge can work wonders, lifting us to romantic heights and hormonal bliss — when it’s working. But what happens when it’s not? What happens when the spark is gone, the romance stifled, the marriage over? What do you do when you run into your first post-divorce Valentine's Day?
This week on the show, we turn to you. How did you handle your first Valentine’s Day after your divorce? First things first, we learned to redefine our terms: Valentine’s Day is, of course, not the only emotionally-charged day you’ll have to weather after your divorce. But it is the one with the most cards telling you to go love up someone, so that’s where we landed. Stories from listeners who've done it and care enough to share this week in the Toaster.
Creators and Guests
Host
Host
What is How to Split a Toaster: A Divorce Podcast About Saving Your Relationships?
Seth Nelson is a Tampa based family lawyer known for devising creative solutions to difficult problems. In How to Split a Toaster, Nelson and co-host Pete Wright take on the challenge of divorce with a central objective — saving your most important relationships with your family, your former spouse, and yourself.
Hello, and welcome to how to split a toaster, a divorce podcast about saving your relationships from true story FM. Today on the show, are you gonna let your toaster drag you up Mount Valentine?
Seth Nelson:Welcome to the show, everyone. I'm Seth Nelson. And as always, I'm here with my good friend, Pete Wright. Today, we're talking about the day. You know the one, that one special day that all the ads remind you to dote on your special someone.
Seth Nelson:It's Valentine's day, but what happens when you run into your first Valentine's day after divorce or separation? To help us along this week, we asked you to share your stories of post Valentine's Day experience. Plus, we have a guest, Kaylee Agren from our own firm is here to share her experience of getting over Mount Valentine. Kaylee, you should be billing hours and helping clients, but instead, you're here. Welcome to the toaster.
Kaylee Agren:Oh. Thanks for having me.
Pete Wright:Hi, Kaylee. Welcome to the show. We are a, I gather you've been set up as our, Valentine's Day expert witness.
Kaylee Agren:I am an expert. Yes.
Pete Wright:Yes. Outstanding. Outstanding. Well, this is a this is kind of a fun day. First of all, we are talking about a lot of, input.
Pete Wright:We've got a lot of input from people. We asked the the Internet, and the Internet responded, with stories of first Valentine's Day's post separation. And so, oh, dear, do we have things to talk about? You have your own story. We are talking about all things related to post divorce romance.
Pete Wright:I want to make sure we set the stage upfront, though, that this is not a conversation that has to be specifically characterized as a Valentine's Day episode. We have a couple of folks who have written in saying, you know what? I had given up on Valentine's Day long before my divorce, and so but but there were other days that were equally hard or harder, after my divorce that that were emotionally charged. So I I think that can be a a foundation for our conversation, emotionally charged days. That make is that fair?
Seth Nelson:Yeah. It's every single day for for entire year after you finally get divorced. Right. So pretty much pick 365 days
Pete Wright:to choose. It's my first Tuesday post divorce. Oh, dear.
Seth Nelson:Alright. But we're gonna start with Kaylee in her first Valentine's Day post divorce. So, Kaylee, you gotta give us the setup a little bit. How long were you been divorced? How soon was Valentine's Day?
Seth Nelson:Where were you living? Any romance in your life we need to know about which you never share at the office? You just tell me about
Kaylee Agren:I am known for all my romance stories. That is that is true.
Pete Wright:Seth is chair dancing right now as he's talking about this.
Kaylee Agren:Yes. Are you doing? I don't have much romance, but I have a very, very good story.
Pete Wright:Okay. What's your story?
Kaylee Agren:Alright. Background is I was living in Birmingham, Alabama. I had a 2 year old. She's now 7. So this was a couple years ago.
Kaylee Agren:Shortly thereafter, my divorce was finalized, And my brother who is was living in Tampa, still living in Tampa, surprised me, flew up to Birmingham, which is middle of nowhere. So you have to take a small plane, rent a car, all this kind of stuff, and picked me up from work and took me to the most famous spot in Birmingham, Alabama. It's called Saw's Barbecue. There's 4 tables. It's a tiny little brick house, 4 tables.
Kaylee Agren:You get a plate of grits and then collards on top, and then pulled pork on top, and then white barbecue sauce on top. And he took me out to Saul's Barbecue to celebrate Valentine's Day together.
Pete Wright:Oh, that's adorable. I have so many questions. So they start with white barbecue sauce? I live in a part of the country that does not in that that does not celebrate barbecue sauce any other color than shades of, you know, red. What is what is white barbecue sauce, and how is that romantic?
Kaylee Agren:In the south, your barbecue spots are known based on your color of barbecue sauce.
Seth Nelson:So, Pete, here's the deal.
Pete Wright:Can you see my mind being blown right now on our call?
Seth Nelson:Yeah. I'm gonna put it in terms you understand. You thought as an adult, the only thing that you got to pick to eat or drink by color was wine, white or red. We're now expanding your horizons that that now also applies to barbecue sauce. Okay.
Seth Nelson:And you should know some things about pairing. Right? It's a little not cool to say I'll have red barbecue sauce and white wine. Oh, you never do that. Or white barbecue sauce and red wine.
Seth Nelson:You should never do that. Okay?
Pete Wright:Do you have white barbecue sauce and white wine?
Kaylee Agren:I wouldn't advise it, but you don't have to take my advice and counsel. Okay.
Seth Nelson:Okay. Which basically is all of our clients. Okay. Not taking our advice and counsel.
Pete Wright:Food. Okay. That is a fantastic story, and I am that's a lovely story. And it's it's a way to I I don't know. Did that does that help?
Pete Wright:Did it help to actually celebrate the day, even though it was with family?
Kaylee Agren:It does. My mom says that days are days, so you assign the meaning to any day. So I chose to assign that meaning to celebrating my family, and it was a wonderful day.
Pete Wright:That's a that is, lovely. And I think it it characterizes a lot of the feedback that we got on this. But, you know, I forgot to to mention also, lest we forget, Seth is also, post divorce. What was your first Valentine's Day?
Seth Nelson:Okay. So Kaylee's, I think, is 5 stars if
Pete Wright:we're Yeah. We're gonna rate all of these on a 5 stars stars. Scale. Absolutely. She's 5 stars.
Seth Nelson:If there's a way to get a negative star rating, that's what I'm about to share. Okay? This is the most unromantic thing that you could do on your first post divorce Valentine's. I played poker at a poker room. See, not romantic.
Seth Nelson:Now to Kaylee's point, you assign a day a day in whatever you decide, but here's why I played poker. Now you can say this is rationalization. You can say it's brilliant. You can say I'm just making this shit up.
Pete Wright:Would you like me to say all that now before the story? Because I bet I can I bet I could nail it?
Seth Nelson:When you're going through a divorce and you're going through an emotional time, one of the things, and we've talked about this before, Pete, I will have clients switch from talking about parenting to doing math because it stops the emotional side of your brain and gets the other side of your brain working. And it shuts down the emotions. Poker to me is all about reading people and doing math and looking at the cards. So it was a way for me not to worry about Valentine's day. And so I just went and played cards.
Pete Wright:Okay. I buy that. I buy that.
Seth Nelson:Like 2 truths and a lie.
Pete Wright:I do wanna lean in. I do wanna lean in on making this shit up at some point during this show, but I'm gonna give you that one. I, my question is this. Have you have you both been able to reclaim Valentine's Day? Like, do you have a, a a romantic vibe now after, the that first divorce?
Pete Wright:Is that still exist for you, or is the day kind of, you know, reprogrammed?
Seth Nelson:Kaylee, you go first.
Kaylee Agren:I'm not a particularly romantic person. However, I do celebrate Galentine's, and I had a Galentine's day dinner last night, and I have a Galentine's tonight.
Pete Wright:Talk about get assigning the day its own meaning. There's Galentine, like, multi day Galentine's celebration.
Kaylee Agren:Day Galentine's. So last night, I had Galentine's with one group of girlfriends. Tonight, I have Galentine's with another group of girlfriends.
Seth Nelson:And it's every guy's wish to be invited to Galentine's. Let me be very clear on that. Like, it's like all I want for Christmas is to be invited to Galentine's with a couple of us.
Pete Wright:A Galentine's bender? Is that really what I'm talking about?
Seth Nelson:Yeah. So I've never thought of Valentine's day as romantic, but for all the single people out there or married people out there in relationship, people listening, I will just tell you what I used to do on Valentine's day. It played very well. I would send my significant other or spouse flowers the day before Valentine's day. Couple reasons.
Seth Nelson:One, she wasn't waiting around all day at Valentine's day at the office, wondering if I forgot to send flowers. 2, I made them big and so she got to enjoy them all day long. And 3, it kinda set the tone for the rest of the office where the women in the office, let's just say, were like, oh, look at what she got. Let's see if my guy did anything or if my girl sent me anything. Okay.
Seth Nelson:So that's how I would always play it. I'm not big into Valentine's. My fiance is not big into Valentine's. We have a rule, no Valentine's good days gifts. Last year, she broke the rule.
Seth Nelson:She said she didn't break the rule because she was supporting a local artist. So I'm gonna describe to you what she gave me. I'm holding in my hand now, and I'm gonna show it to you guys. It is a blue, kinda like a paperweight size, ceramic heart. And in red, on the top, it says, I fucking love you.
Pete Wright:It's like go to the candy arts. It's a giant candy heart.
Seth Nelson:It's it's a giant candy heart. Right? Right? For Valentine's Day, like, you get in the little packet. That's not the best part because when you turn it over, it says, go fuck yourself.
Pete Wright:Go fuck yourself.
Seth Nelson:So you can see Valentine's Day is not that big of a deal with us.
Pete Wright:Real sentimental type.
Seth Nelson:Pete, you know Susie. Come on now.
Pete Wright:Yeah. I got it. On brand.
Seth Nelson:Alright. Should we get to these stories, though, Pete?
Pete Wright:Yeah. Let's let's start with, I'm gonna kinda do these out of order. You know, we we had one person write in and say, you know, I just decided to pour all of the love that I had into my kids and spoil them with gifts. I I love that message. Like, just, you know, again, talk about reprogramming the day.
Pete Wright:That's that seems to be a a a nice nod to celebrating this thing that is culturally resonant for many of us and also not having to look at it as a as a time for sorrow. Shannon said, I went through a very quiet day, and quite frankly, I was glad for it. No flowers, no chocolates or drama. It was the gift I needed at the time, leaving the situation that was best for my mental health.
Seth Nelson:That's getting 5 stars from me, especially the or no flowers, no chocolates, or drama. Because there's so much drama that goes around with this stuff about what did you get? Did you get? Is it making reservations? The florists are freaking crazy because, you you know, they're griping all over town.
Seth Nelson:Right?
Pete Wright:Yeah. My thing is I have if I'm sad, I always get myself stuff. Do you ever treat yourself?
Seth Nelson:Oh, Kaylee does.
Kaylee Agren:Oh, I love the idea of treating yourself. I also love the idea of treating yourself with Seth's credit card. So maybe that will come up on Monday.
Seth Nelson:Yeah. Outstanding. There's all this stuff that's like a firm expense. Do you know? And, the only thing I'm thankful about that firm expense, Pete, is they'll say, thanks, uncle Seth, as opposed to grandpa.
Seth Nelson:Like, you know?
Pete Wright:According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, approximately 10% of children live with a parent with an alcohol use disorder.
Seth Nelson:This is an alarming statistic as a family law professional who deals with custody cases regularly.
Pete Wright:Finding the balance between the child's safety and helping the child maintain a relationship with both parents is one of the hardest things to navigate. Add in the he said, she said phenomenon that happens with divorcing couples who often weaponize alcohol use against one another, and the situation is even more difficult.
Seth Nelson:All of this is why Soberlink has been one of the most important tools for my clients dealing with these issues. Soberlink's remote alcohol monitoring tool has helped over 500,000 people prove their sobriety and provide peace of mind regarding the child's safety. Soberlink helps keep the focus on the best interest of the child, which is really the most important part in a divorce case dealing with children. I've teamed up with Soberlink to create a parenting plan guide to help people going through divorce that involves alcohol in children.
Pete Wright:And you can download it today at soberlink.com/toaster. And if you take a look and you think you're ready to order soberlink, just mention how to split a toaster for $50 off their device price.
Seth Nelson:Our thanks to Soberlink for sponsoring how to split a toaster.
Pete Wright:We have Lucinda Bu who wrote in, my first Valentine's Day after divorce was a total disaster. To follow-up, that was almost that was over 40 years ago now, and I found a great love. And we've been married for almost 37 years, so there is definitely a happy ending in here. PS, as an old lady, I've learned a few things. And the first and foremost advice I have for those lovely young women in this world is to stand up, stand tall, and smile.
Pete Wright:You're a beauty inside and out. I like to laugh about the past and love the now and hope for the future. Laugh about the past, love the now, and hope the for the future. There you go. That's gotta be some 5 star advice right there.
Seth Nelson:Five stars for me, Kaylee.
Kaylee Agren:Yes. Also sounds like she might enjoy Gallantyne's as well.
Pete Wright:It does sound like that. I I love that we have someone who's written in and still remembers the total disaster that was, I say in heavy quotes, that her first Valentine's Day post divorce. And I think that gets to the you know, we talk about cultural resonance of this day. Like, there there is just something about it. There's so much weight that so many people put on this particular day that it becomes hard to forget when it goes south.
Seth Nelson:But also, I think this adds something else that we don't think about is when you're 40 years down the road, what would you tell yourself 40 years earlier? Right? Yeah, it sounds to me like it was a disaster. But looking back, look at where she is now. Like, it wasn't that big of a deal compared to there's a happy story ending here.
Seth Nelson:And that's what I'm focused on the now, not the past moving through the future. And I think that's a that's a good message there.
Pete Wright:What advice would you give yourself 40 years ago about your love life?
Seth Nelson:I was listening to a comedian about this. I was actually just talking to a friend of mine about it. And the comedian said, well, women would say, you know, you're beautiful, stand tall, all this great advice that, you know, Lucinda boo just gave. And the comedian said a guy would say, bet on the Lakers in 4 on this date and take all of that money and put it in something called Bitcoin. Okay?
Seth Nelson:Oh, for me, it's definitely
Pete Wright:I mean, I was I was 9, and that advice would be don't give Jenna Leer that locket on track day. It's going to end badly. Sick. So alright.
Seth Nelson:Wait a minute. What was your name, dude?
Pete Wright:No. You don't get that again. You wanna hear the name, you gotta listen to the show. Alright. David Patcher writes in, on my first Valentine's Day after my divorce, I sent flowers to friends and dropped gifts off with single friends.
Pete Wright:Valentine's Day, like most holidays, is what most people should be doing year round, not just one day of the year. I knew it was important to other people, so those people got to have the feeling of flowers or gifts at work even when single, especially when single. Always when single or a couple. We need more gifts. Give more gifts to people.
Seth Nelson:We need more gifts in this world.
Pete Wright:We need more free stuff and flowers.
Kaylee Agren:On Seth's credit card.
Seth Nelson:On Seth's
Pete Wright:credit card. On Seth's credit card. Uncle Seth.
Seth Nelson:Which you
Pete Wright:can Courtesy of Uncle Seth.
Seth Nelson:Which you can find in our show notes.
Pete Wright:The next one that we have here yeah.
Seth Nelson:Wait wait a minute. I wanna talk about this. This is 5 star. David's just doing a nice thing for people. Right?
Seth Nelson:Yeah. We can we can do more of that in the world. Kaylee, you agree?
Kaylee Agren:He assigned his meaning to it, and that was celebrating friendship.
Pete Wright:Yes. He did. I think that's I I think that's really great. And I you know, I my wife does this on on birthdays too. She makes a big deal about making food and taking it to people, like muffins or cookies or soup.
Pete Wright:She makes soups for people with meatballs, homemade meatballs, and she'll take big Tupperwares of soup to people and just say happy birthday. And I I love that. I've never been good at it, and it is aspirational to me. And I love that I am married to her because I kinda get off, on her coattails.
Seth Nelson:There you go. Because
Kaylee Agren:you get the card too.
Pete Wright:Yeah. Well, it's implied.
Seth Nelson:Kaylee's from the south. The gift is never complete till you send a thank you note. Just letting you know.
Kaylee Agren:That's a rule.
Pete Wright:Aspirational. I'm in the Pacific Northwest, and that's that's not a thing that is so tried and true. All right, Chris writes in. I tried to look at this from a few different angles in doing so. I found an apology letter written to my friends after my separation divorce for all intents and purposes.
Pete Wright:It was here that I realized the greatest lesson for me in approaching a new relationship, let alone anything like a romantic holiday such as Valentine's Day. It doesn't matter who you adore if you cannot be real with yourself and real with them. In the truest form of the cliche, I realized that I could not love someone else fully until I was able to find forgiveness in myself and address the honesty of who I was and who I chose to be and do it out loud. Sadly, this isn't a really funny anecdote for the new lover on Valentine's Day. I say lover intentionally singular here as it is the responsibility for each half of a couple to realize this.
Pete Wright:One cannot have any moments or nor epiphanies for another person. But I can say I had an affair. I messed up. If you're okay with moving forward, I am eager to do this, but I am not perfect. All I can do is be honest about who I was because hiding it helps no one.
Pete Wright:And then Chris went on to, to give us the letter, which, he wrote as an apology to his micro community of friends and family about the hurt that he has caused for them through his own infidelity leading to his separation.
Seth Nelson:You know, Pete, we've talked about this before when people are real. Those are always my favorite guests and favorite stories.
Pete Wright:Yeah.
Seth Nelson:It's not the Facebook life, the Instagram life. This is the real shit that people deal with. And being able to look yourself in the mirror and say, this is what I did. These were my choices. It's not anything that happened to me.
Seth Nelson:Anyone else did to me. These are the choices that I made. How do I become a better person? How do I get past it in my own life? And being able to put it on paper, say it out loud, apologize to people, and then it's up to them to accept it or not, but you've done your job.
Seth Nelson:If they never accept it, they never accept it. That can no longer be on you, and it lifts a weight. It's freaking brilliant.
Pete Wright:Kaylee, what do you think?
Seth Nelson:Kaylee's perfect. Right?
Kaylee Agren:Imperfect. So I can't relate.
Seth Nelson:So you don't have these people never
Pete Wright:had to deal with this. Yeah.
Kaylee Agren:I think, like, being vulnerable is so brave, and that's being the best friend.
Seth Nelson:The truest version of yourself is when you're vulnerable.
Pete Wright:I like it. It's hard. And and harder still to write this for a podcast. And so, special thanks really to Chris. It's it's to do it out loud, and out loud in a public forum like this is is a a brave thing to do, admitting that it was not a great thing to do to the infidelity in the 1st place.
Pete Wright:So, that's a that's powerful story and a great way to celebrate, you know, that day by being honest.
Seth Nelson:And as much as I appreciate them writing in and sharing it with our listeners, that usually infidelity is a symptom of something else wrong in the relationship.
Pete Wright:Right.
Seth Nelson:So right. I appreciate he took the ownership in that part. There's a lot of other stuff always happening. But Chris, thanks for writing in. Thanks for sharing.
Seth Nelson:Thanks for being vulnerable and honest and being real.
Pete Wright:Well, and I I'll, I'll say I, you know, we didn't quote from the letter, but I think this is an important lesson. He writes almost 5 years ago, I was very unhappy in my marriage. And instead of having a few difficult conversations, I avoided them. Instead, I set along a very destructive path of having an affair. It was my escape, although I was in pain.
Pete Wright:And although I was in pain, I did the wrong thing. It was never my intention to hurt x nor you, our friends. I was selfish and confused and angry, but there is no excusing away my behavior. I behaved abhorrently, and for that, I am truly sorry. But as you said, there were other things leading to the unhappiness, right, to the fact that the marriage was in trouble.
Pete Wright:This was a symptom of it and a dark one.
Seth Nelson:It's a common thing that happens when people are in these difficult times, having that difficult conversation, it's easier in quotes to blow it up, to do something that you know is gonna blow it up.
Pete Wright:Yeah. Right.
Seth Nelson:Right? And deal with putting the pieces back together later than it is to have the conversation. That's how it feels at the moment. So you're not alone, Chris. I I see this all the time.
Pete Wright:B writes in, first of all, I love this topic. What a cool one to take on. And secondly, so wise to ask folks what it was like for them. I'm sure you'll walk in with much better perspective, always leads to better questions. I like reading intros like that because it makes us sound smart.
Pete Wright:Bee continues. The weird answer for me is that v day of 2003, my first after my former spouse and I split, was my first date with my current wife. How cool is that?
Kaylee Agren:This is cool.
Pete Wright:I'm glad to share the story, but it might not be the one that heads quite where you intended to go, except for this part. It was a lot to process alone. The grief of it no longer being my former spouse there, at least to some degree, and fear and excitement of trying again with someone new on that very charged night. For me, my first birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and new year had much more punch on the grief side. Valentine's day was the rebirth.
Pete Wright:Awesome. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool.
Seth Nelson:That's all I have to say to it. It's awesome. That's pretty cool. That is a whole lot packed in there, though, Pete, and the fact that just dating.
Pete Wright:Yeah.
Seth Nelson:Like you can't help it. Your first date after you're divorced, you are just comparing what the person sitting across from you at table is doing versus the person you've been sitting across the table for for however many years you were married and dating before that.
Pete Wright:Mhmm.
Seth Nelson:Like, oh my god. It's so appreciative. They actually put their napkin on their lap before the food arrives.
Pete Wright:So appreciative. They they don't eat with their hands.
Seth Nelson:Right. You know? There's so many things like that that happen or, you ordered fish. The other person would never order fish. It's just like there's all these little things that just rush into your mind.
Seth Nelson:Now, Pete, you've been happily married for many years. You've never had these experiences, but they are real and they happen all the time. Because when you're with someone, you know how they're gonna order their salad. You know how they like their coffee. And if you don't know Pete, you should figure that shit out quick on how your wife likes her coffee.
Seth Nelson:Okay? You know? But and maybe bring it to her in bed on Valentine's Day. So just a couple hints here.
Pete Wright:My my wife is the kind of person who makes a full pot of coffee and then takes the pot with her with a cup as just keeps it, like, holstered always. I literally have to I this morning, I had to go out on the back deck to find the coffee pot. She took it with her. I don't need to bring her coffee. She's doing just fine.
Seth Nelson:Yeah. Alright. What else do we have?
Pete Wright:Okay. Sandy, wrote in. Very weird subject.
Seth Nelson:Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Pete. The last one was, first of all, I love this topic.
Pete Wright:Yeah. I know. I know. Very weird subject, Sandy.
Seth Nelson:Sandy, I'll listen.
Pete Wright:Probably not specific to Valentine's Day. It's not a day that is hyperelevated to worth going on some journey for. Alright. So Sandy's not thrilled with Valentine's Day in the first place. Mm-mm.
Pete Wright:However, post divorce, my two favorite story events revolve around sex. Can't say that I'd want my name attached as I'm still working on looking respectable in most places. Sandy is not her real name. Story number 1, the man likely on the spectrum who I only dated briefly, who stopped frozen mid sex play when I happened to say smack my ass, and that devolves into a whole discussion about his conflict because he had high government security clearance coming up for renewal. You wouldn't believe how that ended.
Pete Wright:And now, of course, all I wanna know is how that ended.
Seth Nelson:Of course. But let me tell you. Kaylee is very uncomfortable with this types of conversations. I make inappropriate jokes just to watch her blush, and I've been pissed off about COVID because she wears a mask so I don't get the full effect.
Kaylee Agren:I'm fine.
Seth Nelson:No. She's not. Look at
Pete Wright:her feet. She's scrolling in her gut. I watched her swallow her own tongue for a minute there as she found out. So that was the first story. I so I I think the the reason I included this, and I know it, she Sandy does not talk about this specifically as a Valentine's story, is that I do there's something I love so much about these submissions that she thought it was worth including them as, like, a sex positive foray back into life as as somebody who's dating again.
Pete Wright:And I think that, you know, personally, I think that's gotta be important. Right? And I haven't even gotten to number 2 yet.
Seth Nelson:Alright. Get to number 2, then we'll swing back and talk about it.
Pete Wright:Number 2, I went to a swingers club in Washington.
Seth Nelson:No. You see how I said swing back because I was a little I got to do that now. Reading it,
Pete Wright:and I was proud of you just then. I went to a swingers club in Washington post divorce to check out the scene. Wasn't looking for an orgy so much as a sex positive, flirty validation experiment experience. I told my one of my friends, just in case I should go missing, that she ins and she insisted I text immediately afterward to verify I was safe. That was a trip.
Pete Wright:Didn't hook up with anyone, but I danced a bit with others, definitely flirted, had my ass cheek tasered with this electric wand stick being promoted. Oh, and did attend a fascinating rope tying bondage instructional class. Wild. Probably not exactly what you're looking for, especially if you're looking for lessons learned, and overcoming the odds, but I always thought they'd be excellent stories. Okay.
Pete Wright:Can we at least use this as a jumping off point for a sex positive reentry into the dating scene? Where do you stand?
Seth Nelson:Well, first off, I was gonna go with the only potentially PG rated version of this story with the positive, flirty validation experience. Yeah. I didn't think that was gonna lead to an electric wand stick. So let me ask you if you ever been tasered, Seth. You know, bro.
Seth Nelson:Don't tase me.
Pete Wright:Context, I mean. A romantic context.
Seth Nelson:You know, the answer to that is simply no.
Pete Wright:Okay.
Seth Nelson:I have never been tasered in any context, romantic or otherwise. Yeah. That
Pete Wright:sounds like something in a term
Seth Nelson:with Tay. Kaylee gets really embarrassed about this type of stuff, and I can tell when she's lying, we're not gonna ask her that question.
Kaylee Agren:I don't know what it is, and I don't want
Seth Nelson:to know.
Pete Wright:But back to the point. This is, I think a, I think this is ultimately a positive story. It I really like this as a celebration of whatever your kink is. Right? Get get out there and explore.
Pete Wright:Right? It's okay to do it in a safe capacity.
Seth Nelson:There's no judgment here. Absolutely. And, gonna bring this back to the law, believe it or not, Pete, because people in court all the time will say, well, that's not normal. And in psychology, there's a range of human behavior that falls into a very wide range of what people do. And if you're outside of the range, then it might not be normal, but that's just not how psychology works or how they view things.
Seth Nelson:So, and I think we had a guest once that said, yeah, the people that are out there protesting against stuff, that's the stuff they're doing behind closed doors. Right? So, no, I really appreciate, Sandy, who is not really Sandy sending in these stories, because we're accepting everyone has their own gig, whatever they like to do. And as long as it's consenting adults, we don't have an issue.
Pete Wright:Kayley, are you okay?
Kaylee Agren:Yeah. I've recovered, and I agree. And it sounds like Sandy, is her happy.
Pete Wright:Yes. It sounds like that. It sounds like that. Yeah.
Seth Nelson:Alright. And, Kaley like, Kaley's over there, like, smoking a cigarette. Okay. I'm just saying. Kaley, there's no smoking in the office.
Seth Nelson:Okay?
Kaylee Agren:I'm vaping. I'm vaping.
Pete Wright:This is a this is a good subject. I'm glad we did this. I'm glad thank you everybody for writing in and sharing these stories. These these are, terrific stories. And, you know, I I I think it is worth this day, even though this episode is going live, I think, a day or 2 after the, the actual day itself, to reflect a little bit on, you know, how you are celebrating, channeling your romantic energies this fine year after your divorce.
Pete Wright:What do you think, Seth? Are you done? Are we done? Are we good?
Seth Nelson:I really appreciate everyone writing everything in. Send in other stories. We'd love to have them on the show. Send in your questions. We really like all of our listener participation, so keep them coming.
Pete Wright:Keep them coming. Kaylee, thank you. You are an an able guest today. We appreciate you.
Kaylee Agren:Thank you for letting me have my 5 minutes of fame.
Pete Wright:You you can you can have 5 minutes more some other time. You're you're fantastic. You can come back and talk about anything you want.
Kaylee Agren:You know, if you want me to take over, I'm available.
Pete Wright:Yeah. That's fine. He's very busy. It's the Kaley and Pete show. Yep.
Pete Wright:Thank you everybody for downloading and listening to this show on behalf of Kaley Oggren and Seth Nelson, America's favorite divorce attorney. I'm Pete Wright, and we'll catch you next week right here on how to split a toaster, a divorce podcast about saving your relationships.
Outro:Seth Nelson is an attorney with Nelson Coster Family Law and Mediation with offices in Tampa, Florida. While we may be discussing family law topics, how to split a toaster is not intended to nor is it providing legal advice. Every situation is different. If you have specific questions regarding your situation, please seek your own legal counsel with an attorney licensed to practice law in your jurisdiction. Pete Wright is not an attorney or employee of Nelson Coster.
Outro:Seth Nelson is licensed to practice law in Florida.