Mystery Maniacs

🎙️ Episode:  https://share.transistor.fm/s/6a38b0f8
📓 Show Notes: https://midsomermaniacs.transistor.fm/205

Mystery Maniacs Episode! In Podcast 205, Poirot survives old-timey fireworks, dodges a peppermint rock and bad criming to save the day. Jimmy Japp!


Show Notes

Sarah’s Baking Recipes

Thanks again for listening!
 
Mark & Sarah

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Upcoming Schedule
  • June 17 - Off
  • June 24 - Poirot S02E02 - “The Veiled Lady”

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Creators & Guests

Host
Mark Bell
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs
Host
Sarah Smith-Robbins
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs

What is Mystery Maniacs?

Mystery Maniacs Podcast is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to British Mystery Television. Formerly, Midsomer Maniacs podcast.

Mark:

Hey.

Sarah:

Hey, Maniacs.

Mark:

Hey, Mystery Maniacs.

Sarah:

I'm Sarah.

Mark:

I'm Mark.

Sarah:

He's Mark, and this is Mystery Maniacs. But you knew that. Right?

Mark:

Mystery Maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV each week. We dig into an episode of a show including the murders, the man, the loonies. Everyone's a loony in this episode and everything else we love. In this week, we cover peril at end house season 2 episode 1. I have a mystery about this episode.

Mark:

How can it be 2 hours long and still feel rushed?

Sarah:

And still not answer all the questions.

Mark:

The ending is rushed. Yes. Start off with this as a spoiler podcast.

Sarah:

We're gonna ruin it.

Mark:

We're gonna ruin a 20 well, almost a 100 year old book for you.

Sarah:

We're gonna ruin it as much as we can Yeah. Because there's some unanswered questions here.

Mark:

And if you let your kids eat cocaine laced chocolate no. Probably not. Okay. If If you let your kids, import cocaine no. No.

Mark:

If you let your kids drive cars that have bad brain oh, gosh. If you

Sarah:

let your kids go on vacation with Hastings and never let them golf, they can listen to this episode.

Mark:

There we go.

Sarah:

How's that? You like that? If you'd let your kids eat 2 eggs that are different sizes, they can handle this.

Mark:

You guys are fantastic.

Sarah:

Thank you for all the happy anniversary wishes. That was so nice.

Mark:

And by the way, boy, we did we're we're doing broken wood next. Boy.

Sarah:

People are excited.

Mark:

Excited. Realize I'm glad. That we have 8 more to get through before this, but they'll go they're we'll we'll get through them because they're awesome.

Sarah:

Other than Midsummer, though, there's no show we could jump to that would make everybody happy. Yep. So I realized there are folks who are not super excited about Broken Wood season 1 coming up next. But after that, who knows? Maybe we'll do your favorite show.

Sarah:

Let us know what it is. Yes.

Mark:

You know? We'll probably do another survey sometime soon. Yeah. So that we can feel out our listeners.

Sarah:

There's just lots to choose from. Speaking of shows

Mark:

Before before we do that. Sorry. And I also wanted to say thank you for all the nice comments. I kinda wrote a little essay in the newsletter about the beginning of the podcast this week, and I got some really nice comments from it, which means I'll probably do more of that kind of memoir type stuff.

Sarah:

Naval gazing?

Mark:

No. It wasn't. It wasn't naval gazing. It was all about

Sarah:

I know.

Mark:

It was ideas of what we were doing and why we did it. So I think I'll probably talk next about how, wow, people are listening.

Sarah:

It was pretty crazy

Mark:

in this, like kinda crazy the first 6 months. We, there's a commercial on right now where they they make fun of somebody saying, hey. I have 50 followers on YouTube. We were not at 50 followers on YouTube until after January. Yeah.

Mark:

Like, we were 6 months in.

Sarah:

Yeah. It took us a long time. Yeah. So speaking of shows this week, we watched another episode of McDonald and Dodds. And guess who's in it?

Mark:

Bill Bailey.

Sarah:

He's the voice on the radio, and you never see him.

Mark:

Why is Bill Bailey doing voice over?

Sarah:

He must just have a friend on the show. Jones. Jones. Jones is in it.

Mark:

Yes. From Midsummer.

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

And does a really good job, I would say. I think this is the best season of McDonald and Dodd so far.

Sarah:

Yeah. I do too. I really like it. It's I mean, it's always been good, but I really like it. Speaking of social media, you were talking about YouTube.

Sarah:

Yep. There's a really fun thread on the Midsummer subreddit about the rules of Midsummer.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Like, if you put on leather gloves, you must immediately kill someone. Yeah. Because everybody does. It's really fun. You should go check it out.

Sarah:

The person who posted it, I don't have the username written down. Sorry. But it's very clever, and there's lots of fun answers to it

Mark:

it too. One of them is, like, if inspector Barnaby arrives at your hobby to pick up one of his relatives Right. Leave immediately.

Sarah:

I have a couple of recommendations for folks this week. We always try to recommend things that are somewhat easy to access that we think are kind of universally available, and these 2 certainly are because I'm gonna

Mark:

contemporary with Poirot.

Sarah:

Both in when they were originally released and when they're set.

Mark:

Yeah. The early nineties British UK TV was like, let's do thirties and forties.

Sarah:

Yeah. So the first one is Campion. Yep. So these are based on the Marjorie Allen books, Allingham books.

Mark:

Aren't those books rough?

Sarah:

No. Well, they are of their time.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Okay? They're of their time. And I think I've mentioned that before. But the TV show, it serves Peter Davidson. It is awesome.

Sarah:

It is so fun. If you like shows that don't leave you feeling dingy or like the world is bad, Campion is so happy. The even just the music. It's just cheery. He has this awesome sidekick named Lug.

Mark:

Played by Brian Glover. Brian Glover. Yes. Who you may know from

Sarah:

He told the joke in American Werewolf in London. Told the joke. Yeah. That's yeah. You might know him from this one scene in this one movie that is older than this show we're talking about.

Sarah:

I'm

Mark:

sure. It is an amazing scene.

Sarah:

It is. But so I really really really recommend Campion. I think there's what? 1 or 2 seasons of it?

Mark:

It's 2 seasons.

Sarah:

And that's it. But, oh, so worth it.

Mark:

And there there are people who show up here, like Midsummer. Midsummer. Midsummer. Midsummer. Midsummer.

Sarah:

All the time.

Mark:

Oh, baby Midsummer because everybody is so

Sarah:

young. Yes. The other

Mark:

show I wanna

Sarah:

recommend is Inspector Allen, and it's a l l e y n. Yes. It's set just after World War 2. Is that right? In the forties, late forties.

Sarah:

Again, it's a little bit darker than Campion, but it's not dark. And Alan is a detective. He's an inspector who comes from aristocracy, but doesn't let it show.

Mark:

It's it's kind of lord Peter whimsy ish like that. Mhmm. But but it's also kinda daglishy.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's just really good. And, again, not too dark, but beautiful atmospheric, awesome costumes, awesome sets, countryside, beautiful cars, great stories that you won't figure out who did it until the very end. Mark and I have seen all of them several times, and lately, we've been falling asleep to them. And I keep waking up going, okay.

Sarah:

Now who killed that person? Because I fell asleep just after they got murdered, and I still don't know who did it.

Mark:

Again, lots of Midsummer people. Belinda Lang plays his, love interest.

Sarah:

Trey.

Mark:

William Simons plays Fox, his his kind of second in command.

Sarah:

Who plays Alan?

Mark:

Alan is played, by Patrick Malahide, which you may remember from game of thrones. It is one of the mid summer game of thrones crossover. Yes. Oh, no. He's never been on midsummer.

Mark:

So No.

Sarah:

But he's been in game of thrones. Yeah.

Mark:

He's been game of thrones. I remember the moment near where he dies in Game of Thrones. Again, this is a 10 year old show almost now. And plus, it's not a real spoiler that somebody dies

Sarah:

in Game of Thrones.

Mark:

When he dies in Game of Thrones, after watching him probably for 20 episodes, I was like, wait a minute. That's Alan.

Sarah:

Yeah. It suddenly occurred to you that it was Alan.

Mark:

I was like, where did I know that guy from?

Sarah:

Oh, Alan.

Mark:

He does not look like Alan.

Sarah:

No. Not in that show.

Mark:

No. No.

Sarah:

But so there's 2 recommendations for you, Campion and Inspector Allen. Both super, super good. Both free on YouTube. Absolutely. Check them out.

Sarah:

Oh, in the lives of Sarah and Mark, the exciting thing that happened this week is we got mulch.

Mark:

Oh, boy. Did we get mulch?

Sarah:

Mark calls the mulch people. I'm like, let's get a little bit more than we got last time. He's like, well, last time we got, like, what, haptruck, whatever. And, like, we're like, give us 20 yards of mulch. Ladies, like, we can only fit 18 yards in a truck.

Sarah:

We're like, oh, okay. A truck of mulch. That'll be good. That'll go in driveway. We can put it in the yard.

Sarah:

It'll be great. That was the most mulch I have ever seen in one place.

Mark:

I will post

Sarah:

a picture of it. A mulch yard.

Mark:

Socials of the pile.

Sarah:

This dump truck backed up, and it tipped the back. And it just kept going up and up and up, and it was vertical, and nothing was coming out of it. And then mulch happened.

Mark:

We literally have a room full of mulch.

Sarah:

Half of our driveway is mulch. Yes. Yeah. It's so much mulch.

Mark:

The exciting lives of market Sarah. I don't know why it's the exciting life of market and Sarah because let's see. I ordered the mulch. I paid for the mulch. I'm going to move all the mulch.

Mark:

It's really exciting life of Mark.

Sarah:

And what was exciting was just it's so much.

Mark:

It's just a lot of mulch.

Sarah:

It's a mountain of mulch.

Mark:

It is.

Sarah:

And we're gonna move it one wheel barrel at a time. We will indeed. I just couldn't believe, like, it just kept coming out of that truck.

Mark:

So just as a reminder, we won't have an episode next week because I will be away at Ann Arbor Comic Arts Festival, a comic book show that I'm really excited about being at. There are a lot of people there who I've wanted to meet for a long time.

Sarah:

Wait. Well, you don't think I should do an episode by myself?

Mark:

You're welcome to do an episode by yourself. It's not a problem with me. You can absolutely do that.

Sarah:

Can I do your voice for your parts?

Mark:

Now I'm kinda scared of that.

Sarah:

You're gonna leave me home all weekend with the setup with the mics and everything. I'm gonna be like, well, Sarah, you're incredibly smart. I think you should just do this show by yourself. Thanks, Mark. I think I will.

Sarah:

You're also very beautiful.

Mark:

But you have to put on

Sarah:

a smart.

Mark:

Big beard and mustache.

Sarah:

Just just to get the sound right? Yeah. Even though nobody can see me.

Mark:

Oh my gosh.

Sarah:

Maybe I'll just make a video one where it's just me talking and then just intercut with Olive just staring. Yeah. And then me talking and then Olive just staring because that's what she does. She just looks at you and doesn't blink. Like No.

Sarah:

What is wrong with you?

Mark:

I also included a picture of Olive in the newsletter. So you're missing memoir like articles plus pictures of Olive.

Sarah:

If you're not subscribed to the newsletter Yes. Which you should be.

Mark:

Which you should be.

Sarah:

So Oh, somebody asked me if if I would mention what I'm baking this weekend.

Mark:

Oh, yes. Oh my gosh. The cookies you made last weekend, they were so good.

Sarah:

They were, chocolate covered waffle cone caramel cookies.

Mark:

Yeah. They were crack.

Sarah:

Tomorrow, I'm making dark chocolate mocha cookies.

Mark:

Can you give me both of those recipes? Yes. And I'll put them in the show notes.

Sarah:

Yes. Okay. Cool. Because I bake. Because wow.

Sarah:

There's a a lady

Mark:

Ladies and gentlemen, I now weigh £5,000. Original air date.

Sarah:

20 minutes later. Now let's talk about parallel events.

Mark:

January 7, 1990. And much like the Leafs, this is the band back together again. Yeah. We've got Renny Rye and Clive Exton.

Sarah:

I learned right away doing some research on this episode something I didn't know, which is that there is a video game based on this episode, based on this book.

Mark:

There is indeed. There is a number of video games.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

Which I feel I should play and then do reviews of.

Sarah:

Well, this one is a hidden object game. Yeah. And the reason why I know about it is because one of the things I always try to do anyway, I don't always manage to do it, when I'm researching for the podcast is I go look at Google Scholar Yep. To see if anybody's written anything interesting about the story.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

And for this one, there was a study where people were learning English as a second language by playing the parallel and end house video game.

Mark:

Oh.

Sarah:

And the study was about how successful that was. Yeah. That's what I was

Mark:

thinking. Attempted murder. Yes. Cocaine.

Sarah:

Good day. They're not watching the episode. Cooey. Yeah.

Mark:

And, the novel was released in February of 1932. With certainly with these, I'm gonna start talking about when those books were released.

Sarah:

And this one, the episode is darn close to the book other than miss Lemon being there rather than another character.

Mark:

Yeah. There's another part at the end I'll talk about. Yeah. But yeah. It's pretty much it.

Mark:

And we begin on a plane. Why are we on a plane?

Sarah:

They live in London. They're going to Cornwall. Wouldn't a train be convenient? Yes. I realized it would take longer probably.

Mark:

Now there's no place called Saint Louis No. Or Saint Louis or whatever they're calling

Sarah:

you. L o o e.

Mark:

There is a place called Lou, though. But this is in Cornwall.

Sarah:

But this is based on Torquay

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Where Agatha Christie lived, her favorite place.

Mark:

Lou is really near Yeah. So well, really, for Americans, it's it's really close.

Sarah:

Now planes back then were rather slow.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

But still, I mean, they could have taken a train to Cornwall. Right?

Mark:

So if you fly that flight now so you fly from Gatwick Mhmm. To you have to fly to, the Cornwall Airport.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

You have to drive an hour back to get to this place. And what it what it made me think of is there is a magic spot of travel that is about 4 or 5 hours where it is equally long to drive, plane, or train it. Yeah. Like, you

Sarah:

The flight may be shorter, but by the time you get to the airport, check-in, do all that rigmarole, it adds up to 4 hours.

Mark:

Like, for instance, Carlton Place, where I grew up, is near is about that distance from Toronto. If you flew, you have to drive an hour to get to the Ottawa airport to fly to Toronto.

Sarah:

Same if we were going to Chicago from here. We have to drive an hour to the airport. Yep. The flight would be, like, 90 minutes. Yep.

Sarah:

But the O'Hare airport is an insane asylum, and then you have to get a cab wherever it is you're going.

Mark:

And then you gotta get that. So the there all the those things. And if I had more friends and more time, I would do races of those because that'd be what fun to do.

Sarah:

More friends, more time, money.

Mark:

Money. But I know I know there are YouTubers that do races like that.

Sarah:

All I can assume is that Hastings has twisted Poirot's arm and said, it's much more modern to fly. Let's let's fly.

Mark:

I think it is this way because this is a brand new plane at this point. And Hastings has said, let's take the brand new plane.

Sarah:

Yeah. Just like he wants to take the brand new ship and other stuff. Yeah.

Mark:

You cannot guess how cool the name of this plane is.

Sarah:

The, like, the model name?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

No. I can't.

Mark:

It's a de Havilland plane. Mhmm. It is Dragon Rapid. The fast dragon.

Sarah:

Dragon Rapid? Yes. I realized I didn't say it as cool as you did. Yes. The fast dragon.

Mark:

Yeah. What a cool name for a plane.

Sarah:

It's a sardine can with wings.

Mark:

It is indeed a sardine can.

Sarah:

They What does it see? Like, 10 10 passengers? People. They are elbow to elbow? Yes.

Sarah:

It's a death trap.

Mark:

This leads

Sarah:

me I have planes.

Mark:

This leads me to the question I have for you for this week. What is the shortest flight you've been on, and what is the smallest plane you've been in?

Sarah:

Those are the same answer.

Mark:

They are the same answer for me also.

Sarah:

I flew from the Indianapolis airport to Columbus, Ohio. It was a 40 minute flight and this the plane seated 8. For you, it was Belize, wasn't it?

Mark:

2. 1, I did I took a helicopter ride around Indy. But, yes, in Belize, in an airplane that had 5 seats in it, including the pilots. Yeah. See, the pilot so this is on my first honeymoon.

Mark:

The pilot, and then there's a 2 seater. The pilot and the copilot, then the 2 seater, and then there was a seat in the back where you sat the other way. Mhmm. And I was actually hoping for that side that seat. The rumble seat?

Mark:

Yeah. But but no.

Sarah:

You had to sit in the copilot seat,

Mark:

didn't you? To sit in the copilot seat because the pilot looked at me and said, you are the copilot. I was like, what?

Sarah:

No. I'm not. How long was the flight?

Mark:

About 20 minutes into the jungles of Belize.

Sarah:

Well, that's about how Poirot feels on this flight, though the view the view is beautiful. His his eyes are just clamped shut.

Mark:

Yes. And I do wanna say 2 things. One, Poirot's mustache looks horrible in this scene. Yeah. It gets better later on, but it looks like it's a piece of plastic on his face.

Sarah:

It does.

Mark:

2nd vol, do you remember plane and helicopter shots? Because this is different than what we're used to now. Yeah. Because all we see is drone shots now because they are so phenomenally cheaper. Yeah.

Mark:

But it's a nice plane.

Sarah:

And Cornwall is gorgeous. And they land so beautiful.

Mark:

In the airport that everybody else lands in in every other show. This airport's been on midsummer. This airport's

Sarah:

been on the quintessential slow horses. Small British Yep. Airport.

Mark:

Yes. And we go to the majestic hotel.

Sarah:

Which is completely different on the inside than it is the outside. Yes. The inside is a sound stage and the outside is a beautiful twenties hotel. A decoder.

Mark:

Be inedible.

Sarah:

The inside, I know this is hard and this is a big production, but those sets are very bad.

Mark:

Oh, like, I worry that if they knock into the wall, the

Sarah:

wall is gonna fall over.

Mark:

Fall over.

Sarah:

Yeah. Like, there's not even, like, molding on the walls, like, where the wall and floor meet. No. And the elevator, I think I think when Poirot and Jack get on the elevator, the camera pans up to make it look like they're going down, but I think they literally had to crouch to make themselves look like they were going down.

Mark:

I think that is a definite possibility. I thought the same thing.

Sarah:

But the outdoor shots, man, did they get the right places? I mean, it's just gorgeous. Just So beautiful. Hastings and Poirot have adjoining rooms. I'm gonna say they're adjoining rooms.

Sarah:

I don't think they have a room with 2 bedrooms. I think there's a door between I

Mark:

think so.

Sarah:

Would you do that?

Mark:

With someone I work with?

Sarah:

With our friends.

Mark:

I guess with a friend, maybe.

Sarah:

You get adjoining rooms.

Mark:

Maybe if Danish and I, you know, went went somewhere You'd probably

Sarah:

get a room across the hallway or whatever. Yeah. I think it's funny that they basically share a room.

Mark:

Who cannot attend, get the attention of the waiter because he's too busy talking about cannibals.

Sarah:

Because they're talking about Seaton. Right? Who's this cat this, he's flying around the world Yes. But he's disappeared.

Mark:

So this is 32 when the book is released, and the first guy who goes around the world does it in 33.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

So, obviously, people were talking about it.

Sarah:

Right.

Mark:

It was called good plot point.

Sarah:

Yeah. I do too. And it may be why they fly at the beginning of the book is because planes are part of the story. Maybe. So they're on a plane and it just kinda sets it up.

Sarah:

This terrace that they're sitting on is so beautiful.

Mark:

And has a pool in the thirties that would have been like a multimillion dollar pool.

Sarah:

Yeah. I will never understand why when it's warm enough for people to be swimming outdoors, Poirot and people of his class are sitting there in 3 pieces.

Mark:

Oh, I know.

Sarah:

It must be so hot.

Mark:

It has to be so hot.

Sarah:

And just because you're fancy doesn't mean you're not practical. I don't understand it.

Mark:

It would be way too hot for me.

Sarah:

Me too. So hot that he twists his ankle chasing the waiter.

Mark:

And Behind the tree, it's really weird. The ankle twist. That way

Sarah:

he goes down, and Nick Buckley finds him and helps him up.

Mark:

So Nick is called Nick because she is young Nick. Her father was old Nick.

Sarah:

Her grandfather.

Mark:

Grandfather was old Nick. Because he sold house at

Sarah:

the he sold his soul to the devil. Yes. That's why he was old Nick. Yes. And she's young Nick because she is also evil.

Mark:

She is horrific as a human being.

Sarah:

The red We don't

Mark:

learn this till the very end.

Sarah:

No. The red sequined cape is the the outfit that suits her best.

Mark:

Yes. It should have horns. She really is horrific.

Sarah:

So she's been having these near death experiences like somebody's trying to kill her. Right? A a boulder that breaks in her car. A picture falls off the wall.

Mark:

My house has raves all the time.

Sarah:

No. They're they're they're quiet phonograph cocaine fueled for people parties.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Okay. So she's sitting there with Parra, who she could not have known was going to be there. Okay? She She couldn't have known. She complains about a bee and then strategically leaves her hat behind

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

So that he can find it and find a hole in it and find the bullet on the ground.

Mark:

See, I don't think she's even shot at.

Sarah:

No. I don't either.

Mark:

I think this is all pretend.

Sarah:

Because she would have had to have had an accomplice. Yeah. And that would be knocking fucks. Yes. I don't care how crazy she is.

Sarah:

No. Who do you trust to shoot at you?

Mark:

No. No one. No one.

Sarah:

In your head with the sea right there blowing bullets way off course, there there's just no way Yeah. That she actually got shot at. So she comes to the hotel with a hat with a hole in it and a bullet in her pocket

Mark:

Waiting to find somebody. Poirot is the perfect person.

Sarah:

Waiting to to pretend that she was shot at

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And expects someone to believe that. When you have heard the gun

Mark:

You would have heard the gun.

Sarah:

I think her big mistake here is that the bullet is from a Mauser, which is a pistol.

Mark:

Yeah. And you have to be close to hit with

Sarah:

Much closer. There's just no way that you would try to kill somebody at a distance far enough that people wouldn't hear the gun and do it with a pistol. Plus Especially by the sea where the wind would just mess up.

Mark:

Happened, Poirot, the bullet would be hot.

Sarah:

But we don't know how much. He just has it later. We don't know how much time passes between when he thinks of it and when he finds it.

Mark:

Oh, he grows he kneels down and gets it.

Sarah:

Oh, that's right. Yeah. It would well, there's breeze. Maybe it would cool off. I think the hole in our hat would look kinda burned though.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's just a nylon hat.

Mark:

I would think so.

Sarah:

I don't think it would just be a hole. But I love when he shows it to Hastings. Hastings, like, did you do that? Yes. I poked a hole in her hat.

Sarah:

It was me. I did it.

Mark:

Hastings is here just for comedy and he brings it.

Sarah:

The truth thing he says is at the very end that all of his gray cells are dead. Yes. They are dead from the beginning to the end even when he's throwing his little tantrum.

Mark:

Yep. So Captain commander commander Challenger. Cobra commander.

Sarah:

So Nick is doing this to herself. Yes. Right? We know it through the whole episode.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

If you this is like a a 6th sense thing. Watch it the second time. Yep. This in mind knowing that she's doing it. Yes.

Sarah:

And there's a lot of problems.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

So So she doesn't know Poirot's gonna be there. So I guess she was willing to do this ruse with anybody she happened to run into.

Mark:

Someone that she found?

Sarah:

Yes. Oh, a bee. But, like, was she ready to, like, go a bullet if it wasn't Poirot, if it was somebody's if it was Hastings alone, he never would have noticed. No. Totally.

Sarah:

Never ever ever.

Mark:

Now Polly Walker is a great actress.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

But she's not that great.

Sarah:

She plays Nick. So that's that's what gets Poirot hooked into the mystery is he knows somebody is actually trying to kill her, and she pretends not to take it seriously.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Then they go to her house to return the hat, and he wants to talk to her because he thinks somebody's actually trying to kill her.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

And this is the most awkward social space ever.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

If I was Hastings, I would just wait outside. They are creepy people.

Mark:

I I remember this scene being twice as long as it is.

Sarah:

It's 10 times longer than it should be.

Mark:

It is

Sarah:

It is so creepy. So Challenge Challenger and Lazarus and Freddy are hanging out in the living room just being rude and weird.

Mark:

Well, they're all high.

Sarah:

Is that how people on cocaine act? I've never been around somebody who's on cocaine.

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

I thought it was like an upper and made you fun.

Mark:

It's just

Sarah:

And kind of fast.

Mark:

So incredibly weird.

Sarah:

But, like, when the watches are sitting there on the table and Hastings goes to reach for 1

Mark:

Don't touch, old boy.

Sarah:

And Challenger tells him not to touch him, like, excuse me.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Do you notice the lamp they're sitting under? It looks like a big ring Yeah. With a big gem on the top of it.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Like a ring you'd wear on your finger.

Mark:

Hastings does a good job at trying to initiate conversation.

Sarah:

He's good at that.

Mark:

And it

Sarah:

That's his thing. Ugh. Freddie is freaky.

Mark:

It's just so strange and uncomfortable.

Sarah:

She's rude as a hobby. And then at the end, we're supposed to feel like she's actually a really good friend and is kind of in an unfortunate situation with her ex husband or with her not ex husband. I have I have no feelings for her other than I would not wanna be around her.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

She's rude. Yeah. She laughs at things that are mean. The 3 of them just

Mark:

And then, like, so Nick takes Poirot through these supposed attempts on her life, and it's like it's almost like a montage scene. Like, and we'll never come back and talk about those again.

Sarah:

Well and we know she's just doing that to convince him that somebody is actually trying to kill her, but to pretend she's not worried about it, so that he'll be worried about it, which is dumb of her to do. Yes. Because she knows exactly who he is.

Mark:

Yes. Which makes the end of this scene fantastic where Poirot goes, you are but a child. You don't know who I am. Yeah. Hastings, be my my hype man.

Sarah:

Hastings is like, he's a detective. That's it? He's a great detective.

Mark:

That's it?

Sarah:

You mean the most unique, wonderful, gifted, talented, amazing detective in the entire world, but I'm too modest to say that about myself.

Mark:

You already told her

Sarah:

that. Such a

Mark:

great life.

Sarah:

And he says, that's what you should have told her. You should tell her that. He's well, you you just said it.

Mark:

Oh, I'm telling you. Hastings brings the comedy.

Sarah:

He does. He's like, zing zing zing. Dumb zings, but zings. But the if she really wanted to get away with this, and this happened so many times in Poirot, the bad guy has a bigger ego than he should or she should and thinks if I loop Poirot into this, I won't get caught and he will be convinced.

Mark:

I'll be able to fool him.

Sarah:

I'll be able to fool him. Had she not done it, had she not decided to pretend there was a bee and drop a bullet

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

And tell him about these other fake attempts, he wouldn't have become involved, and she would've got away with it.

Mark:

She would've absolutely gotten away with it, except for the over top over the top Australian caricatures.

Sarah:

Did you before we get to them, did you see the painting on the wall by the pool of the men diving? Yes. They're like human centipede divers Yes. That look like they're slapping each other on the ass in a in a conga line?

Mark:

It's very

Sarah:

weird. Like, what what is that about? Otherwise, it's a really nice looking pool. But I think I I think I paint over that.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

I don't like that. Yeah. Tell me you're Australian without telling me you're Australian. Good day.

Mark:

Why is she a cripple?

Sarah:

Missus Croft?

Mark:

Yeah. She's It serves no purpose.

Sarah:

You. No. It's it's just to make her not a suspect.

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

And to be sympathetic. And I'm not so sure that what what has made her ill enough not to be able to get around. I don't think she has a physical injury. I think it's like, an illness has caused her to not be able to be mobile. I think it's related to Nick's dad in Australia because it's a secret what she did for him.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

She gave Nick's dad her legs.

Mark:

Oh, okay. I hadn't thought of that, but leg transfer.

Sarah:

It's a leg transplant. Shoo wee. All this time, Nick's dad had lady legs, and she didn't even know. I mean, that's a big sacrifice for somebody. You deserve to inherit everything, I think.

Mark:

So then Poirot is a tea shop.

Sarah:

Well, they're they're on, like, a sidewalk tea shop.

Mark:

I guess there's a dog. Dog should not be in tea shop.

Sarah:

That dog sure does eat. He's like Poirot gets Jabba the Hutt, the dogs.

Mark:

Poirot gets no service again, and he and he chastises Hastings.

Sarah:

Mhmm. For being confused.

Mark:

Like, Hastings is like, man.

Sarah:

He's like, what whatever you say, the opposite is probably what's right. So

Mark:

He's so mean

Sarah:

to me. Is he mean to hate that dog though? It's like, no.

Mark:

Poor old goes to see the lawyer and does nothing but lie to him, and the lawyer knows completely that he's lying to him.

Sarah:

I don't know what to think about the lawyer cousin Charles. Missus Croft says he's in love with Nick. I don't think he is. I think that's missus Croft throwing them off because they want the inheritance. It's just I don't know.

Sarah:

He seems like a ordinary nice guy whose cousin is an absolute loony tune and he knows.

Mark:

Now the crofts only think the inheritance at this point is the house. They don't know about the whole seating thing.

Sarah:

No. No. All they wanna do is inherit the house. I don't know why. It's falling apart.

Sarah:

They did a really good job of making that house look like it was once grand and is now, like, water stained. And And

Mark:

they also show one tiny part of that house.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

It's a much bigger house. Like, all I can think is it's like fusuristic glass on the other side of the of the,

Sarah:

We keep this corner of the house in its original state for filming purposes. We have poked holes in pipes just to make sure that everything is water stained to your to your requirements. Yeah.

Mark:

How do you spend money in a production? People. People. Wow. Lots of people in costume.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And not everyday like, a scene set now in a contemporary show has people in the background say a coffee shop scene.

Sarah:

Yeah. And they just come in their own clothes. And as long as they're not crazy, they let them wear them and These are

Mark:

all people in period clothes. Mhmm. And a working band.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Like, that dude is singing. Mhmm. That band is playing. Mhmm. The this is almost like a film.

Mark:

Yeah. How much money is being spent here? And, you know, I know you don't like her, but I like Freddie. I feel sad for Freddie. I got a soft spark for Freddie.

Mark:

She looks the best here.

Sarah:

Yeah. Her dress is

Mark:

adorable. Is amazing, and might as well sit to say, can we sit down and interrogate you? Yeah.

Sarah:

Nick has on this, like, flowery, like, garden party dress and these lavender gloves that I don't like. I don't understand. We find out that Freddie is married and that her husband won't give her a divorce. Yes. But she's clearly in love with Lazarus.

Mark:

In the book, it's implied that he's really physical and

Sarah:

Emotionally abusive. Emotionally abusive. And it was the case back then that it was very difficult for women to get a divorce. Yeah. Men could just say, my wife is crazy.

Sarah:

Yeah. And that was it.

Mark:

So then I have a problem. Poirot says you should invite a relative to stay with you.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And she suggests Maggie. What how was she gonna get Maggie here to kill her, by the way she kills Maggie, if Poirot had not suggested that?

Sarah:

She would have just told her friends, you know, I know I was saying that I'm not concerned about all these attempts on my life, but maybe I am. I'm gonna have my cousin come and stay.

Mark:

Maybe.

Sarah:

I even though I only have one bedroom in my house that is livable Yeah. I'm gonna ask my cousin to come.

Mark:

She makes goo goo eyes at Hastings. I'm like, she's dead.

Sarah:

Yeah. Otherwise, she seemed very nice.

Mark:

She seemed super nice.

Sarah:

So Nick and Maggie went on a trip together, met Seaton, the pilot.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

And Maggie and Seaton fell in love.

Mark:

Now they have the same name because they're cousins.

Sarah:

They're like 3rd cousins, though. Yeah. Okay. So Maggie and Seaton fall in love, and they are engaged, but they're keeping it a secret because his uncle is extremely wealthy, a millionaire with bird sanctuaries, apparently.

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

And when Nick invites Maggie, Maggie must be beside herself. Like, her fiance is missing. Yeah. They're sitting at that table at dinner, and Lazarus and Freddie are laughing and making fun of the fact that Seton is lost. Yep.

Sarah:

Now they don't know that she's in love with him.

Mark:

No. But it it I

Sarah:

don't know how she sits there through it. I think it says something about who she is. Yeah. That she just turns to Hastings and asks him a question and tries to make polite conversation when what she should do is tell them off and stomp out of the room.

Mark:

Yeah. And that would give a clue to Poirot as to what's actually going on.

Sarah:

Yeah. But how does she not lose it? If you were missing and people were laughing about you I there's no way I could not say something. I would say you may not know it, but I'm engaged to him, so you need to shut up. You know?

Sarah:

Like, it would just come out.

Mark:

Yeah. Nick says something weird here where she goes, why don't you come over for her dinner and the fireworks afterwards? I think to imply that there's gonna be craziness afterwards.

Sarah:

Oh. Oh, no. Actual fireworks.

Mark:

Actual fireworks. Yeah. Afterwards. And their that health and safety did not like that particular scene because those are not modern fireworks.

Sarah:

No. They are far away on the other side of the bay where the poor people are.

Mark:

But again, so much money. Yeah. It costs so much money. Like, why are there not fireworks every night? Because that's expensive.

Sarah:

And, you know, unless there is fireworks in Cornwall, and they just filmed while they were happening. Welcome to all of our visitors.

Mark:

I have a note. Health and safety does not approve of your firework.

Sarah:

There's a way to look at this story that is a little bit different than the way that we're kinda beaten up on it. Yeah. And it is a story of modern women who are unable to adapt Yeah. Or who aren't who who aren't allowed to adapt.

Mark:

Freddie is definitely I am betting that Agatha Christie had friends like Freddie. Yeah. Who were in bad relationships and turned to alcohol or drugs to cope with it.

Sarah:

Mhmm. Right. Well and Nick has inherited this house, and the only way she thinks she can keep it is to marry wealthy or inherit money. Yeah. Those are a man is the only way that she sees.

Sarah:

And even if she loves Challenger, she's not willing to marry him because they're both broke. So what's the point? She says neither of us have a beanstalk. What's the point?

Mark:

That is the first glimpse you get at her being evil.

Sarah:

Yeah. And the other kind of twist on the theory is that Nick and Freddie both have men's names because being men is the only way they can imagine how they can make it through, you know, like but obviously, they're not masculine. But it's kind of a it's kind of an implication of they're doing their best, but the world is holding them back.

Mark:

That is completely valid way to see this.

Sarah:

But for Nick to think I have to kill my cousin so I can inherit her fiance's money so I can keep my house. What?

Mark:

And like That

Sarah:

is the most How

Mark:

did she know that the uncle was gonna die? The the inciting incident is it has so much potential and is squandered here.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

I would say another way to look at this is to see Poirot and Hastings as Crockett and Tubbs.

Sarah:

In Beverly Hills Cop?

Mark:

No. In in, Miami Vice.

Sarah:

That's right. Yeah.

Mark:

But it's Torquay Vice.

Sarah:

Well, Piro has the white suit.

Mark:

He's got the white suit. It and they got the big boat. And every like, there there's a possibility here.

Sarah:

There really should be a speedboat chase in this episode.

Mark:

Be a speedboat chase in this episode.

Sarah:

Or or a dog a dog fight in planes.

Mark:

Something.

Sarah:

But this whole idea of there's Nick's plan has so many things that have to happen that are way out of her control for it to work. Right? So let's let's rewind. She knows that Maggie and Seaton have fallen in love. She's the only one who knows.

Sarah:

Right? Because she was there.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

Because Freddie wasn't on that trip. She admits later that she was off at a hotel Yep. With somebody who's not her husband. Oh la la. Right?

Mark:

It's probably Lazarus. It is.

Sarah:

Yeah. So so Nick is the only one that knows Maggie and Seaton fell in love with each other. She does not have any control over his uncle dying

Mark:

No.

Sarah:

Unless she pulled that off and we don't know about it.

Mark:

Yeah. I wouldn't put it past her.

Sarah:

Now, she probably knew at that point that Seton was gonna make this flight. I'm sure he'd been planning it for a long long time and probably told Maggie and Nick about it when he met them. Right? So she thinks, okay. He's definitely gonna inherit all of his uncle's money.

Sarah:

Maybe his uncle will die. And if his uncle dies, then Maggie is gonna be very wealthy if she marries him. But I need to kill her to get that money. Not when she's incredibly wealthy. She's my only relative.

Sarah:

She'll give me some.

Mark:

Which is another like that. You know? We see that in, I think, blue train where it's like, oh, the relatives have money now. Yeah. Let's go see them.

Sarah:

Right. Let's suck up to them and get some cash.

Mark:

Which is valid.

Sarah:

Does she decide to kill Maggie before Seaton goes missing?

Mark:

Because Seaton

Sarah:

She couldn't have

Mark:

because Seaton's missing the whole time, and then it's confirmed that he's dead, then she decides to kill her.

Sarah:

But when he yeah. So when he goes missing no. No. No. She's gonna kill Maggie before it's confirmed.

Sarah:

I think she's banking on him actually being dead, not just missing. That he's not gonna be found.

Mark:

She's also banking on the lawyers as being idiots. Because Yeah. The lawyers would be like, okay. You have the right name. What's your date of birth?

Sarah:

Yeah. They they want a little bit more detail than you say you're who?

Mark:

Yeah. You you need to provide some ID.

Sarah:

Yeah. So his uncle dies and Nick goes, I guess Seaton's gonna have a ton of money. I guess Maggie's gonna have a ton of money. Wait a minute. Seaton's missing.

Sarah:

What are the chances that he would have made his fiance his heir before they were even married? Pretty slim. Pretty slim. I'd say 0. Yeah.

Sarah:

A family like that with that much wealth Yeah. Do you don't just change your will like that? No. There would have been some other family members involved.

Mark:

Would have been like, first of all, the lawyer would have been, like, you're going her on around the world flight. We need to get your affairs in order Mhmm. Before you go. Mhmm. I realize that you have a fiance now

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

But maybe she shouldn't be the sole beneficiary.

Sarah:

Maybe your money should go in a trust.

Mark:

Yes. Exactly. Plus, what if you get lost for a long

Sarah:

time? Mhmm.

Mark:

Like, lawyers are smart people, but they're not smart in this episode.

Sarah:

Especially lawyers for really, really wealthy families. Yeah. So Nick's plan is flimsy at best because then she also has to fool everybody into believing that she is Seton's heir. Which is How is that gonna work?

Mark:

Yeah. How is that gonna work?

Sarah:

I mean, they have the same name, but, I mean, I guess if nobody knew they were engaged, I don't know. It's I just Yeah. Agatha Christie is such a good writer. I have so many questions about this.

Mark:

Yep. Well, you know who has questions. At the end of part 1, as we move to part 2, which were clearly on different nights, it's like Hastings has not watched part 1.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's like Hastings hit his head and goes, what did we do yesterday, Poirot? Why do you need

Mark:

to talk to me?

Sarah:

Let me give you a little synopsis of what happened in the last episode. I mean, yesterday.

Mark:

Remember? In last night's episode.

Sarah:

Well, if they leave the house open like this all the time, I'm amazed they haven't been murdered in their beds. I love Hastings

Mark:

so much.

Sarah:

They just pay too much attention to their watches for nobody to be suspicious of their watches. Yeah. Did they pick those watches because they have a compartment?

Mark:

And then comes the weirdest scene ever.

Sarah:

The gardener and his son?

Mark:

The gardener and his son.

Sarah:

Poor Jap shows up in town because Jap, who is a London cop, is in charge of murders in Cornwall.

Mark:

It makes more sense that miss Lemon is in this episode than Jap.

Sarah:

I mean, I realized they probably don't take care of a lot of murders in Cornwall, so they might have had to call in a detective. It just happens to be JAP.

Mark:

There's another episode where they're in Cornwall, but at least Jap is on a lecture tour.

Sarah:

Brighton. That one's in Brighton. Yeah. I understand that they would have brought in a murder detective. What are the chances that it would have been Jeff?

Sarah:

Jeff's like, well, Perrault's there. Can I go? And his boss is like, yeah. Go ahead.

Mark:

So they interview the gardener, Williams.

Sarah:

I don't think that's an interview, and it's Alfred.

Mark:

Yes. Sorry. Wilson. Wilson.

Sarah:

It's Alfred Wilson whose son Is a

Mark:

serial killer.

Sarah:

Well, Wilson's not much better. The kid's like, I I saw a pig killed once. I liked it. And his dad goes, kids like seeing pigs killed.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

What? What?

Mark:

As a child, I witnessed pigs being killed. It was not a happy experience. I'd say it was traumatic.

Sarah:

Your dad didn't say youngins like to see pigs killed. No. Japs like, are they all like that around here? On top of it all They're freaky. And the kid's voice has been dubbed with a woman's voice, which makes them even creepier.

Mark:

I think that they couldn't let the child say those things, and that's why they had to record rerecord ADR.

Sarah:

So what is he saying that makes his lips look like? No.

Mark:

No.

Sarah:

Her throat wasn't slim.

Mark:

Saying it? And then the people at BBC were like, sorry. ITV were like, no. I You can't have a child say that. Well, we can't cut this incredibly useless scene apart.

Mark:

Like, why is that scene even there?

Sarah:

I think it's funnier to imagine that the kid had to say something that made his lips look like I've seen pigs killed. I liked it. Like, what did he say?

Mark:

I don't know. But

Sarah:

I've been kids dill. I kiked it. What? Okay. Youngins like to see pigs killed.

Mark:

Isn't there a secret panel? All houses like this have a secret panel.

Sarah:

It is the most useless secret compartment ever. It's It's like a sliver of space between the wall and the brick. It's like sliding something behind the drywall.

Mark:

Don't take the cocaine. It's bad for you.

Sarah:

Poor Hastings is so uncomfortable when they're in Nick's bedroom.

Mark:

Poor Rose, like, flinging her underwear.

Sarah:

And then reading love letters, and Hastings is like, I say, that's too far, Poirot.

Mark:

Again.

Sarah:

Wait a minute. Read this one. It's very interesting. Like, well, you turned, didn't you?

Mark:

Outside, when they're on the street, there is the largest peppermint rock salesman ever.

Sarah:

The salesman's not large.

Mark:

The peppermint is big. The rock's as big as my forearm.

Sarah:

Anyway, Chap waves it and space. Like dodging it.

Mark:

Like How on earth do you eat that?

Sarah:

I don't know, but I think it looks good.

Mark:

It does look good but for like 5 people. Oh my god.

Sarah:

No. That's the kind of thing. You suck on it for a while and then you stick it in your pocket. And then you get out of your pocket and you rinse the lint off and you eat it some more.

Mark:

They should have more ice cream and less peppermint rock. He's almost on queer street. Woah.

Sarah:

Well, they've sent miss Lemon on a on a task Yes. To go to the doctor's office who is Challenger's uncle.

Mark:

And she does great. She's awesome. She explains the entire underground cocaine industry

Sarah:

understanding of this. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, woman equals neurotic.

Mark:

Which leads to your understanding of this. Yeah. Absolutely.

Sarah:

Well but woman doctor equals drug dealer. Yes. Really, this guy is just a place where wealthy women go to get their Coke. Yep. They have, like

Mark:

Total drug dealer.

Sarah:

Minute doctor's office visits.

Mark:

Captain Cobra Commander Challenger shows up and gets some more watches.

Sarah:

You don't like his name.

Mark:

Oh, I hate his name. I hate him. He's just horrible.

Sarah:

Compartment in the watch is not very big. They must refill the watches from, like, a bigger supply.

Mark:

Well, the biggest supply is in the chocolates.

Sarah:

What chocolate? It's been hollowed out. There's a thin veneer of chocolate chocolate around a big glob of Coke.

Mark:

So the idea is that somebody leaves co cocaine laced chocolates for Nick to eat. Now it's

Sarah:

saying they're from Poirot.

Mark:

That Nick actually does this. Mhmm. Okay. Never mind the fact that we have never hear that Nick does forgery well, but we hear that the Australians do forgery well. It's so weird.

Mark:

The

Sarah:

Well, Nick has all the time in the world because she's she's in the nursing home.

Mark:

She's in the nursing home. So for craft hour at the nursing home, she's there coring out chocolates and stuffing them with No.

Sarah:

She does her forgery during craft hour.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

And then when they have a little time to, you know, do cooking, she's slicing chocolates open with a scalpel. There's literally

Mark:

a kilo of cocaine.

Sarah:

And that's only half of it.

Mark:

In each of those half chocolates.

Sarah:

I love that the local cop is like, here on this tray are dozens of chocolates we have cut in half, and then there are these full of cocaine. We had to lick it to taste. Meanwhile, Freddy's just so

Mark:

Freddy's like, cocaine?

Sarah:

Did somebody say cocaine?

Mark:

So they come up with this idea. Now is it Poirot's idea or Freddie's idea to fake her death?

Sarah:

Not Freddie. Nick. No. Sorry. Nick.

Sarah:

I think it's Poirot's idea.

Mark:

So Poirot comes up with the idea to fake

Sarah:

I think they have to pump her stomach because she pretends to accidentally eat half or a whole Coke chocolate.

Mark:

Hastings, I'm gonna send you on a completely unrelated new Erin, owe your back.

Sarah:

Miss Lemon gets in the car. She's so happy to be by the seaside. She's having the time of her life. And Hastings goes to get in, and they're like, nope.

Mark:

She's like waving at Hastings. Bye.

Sarah:

You have to go see yada yada, and he's like, isn't that in London? There are trains. Take the plane.

Mark:

There weren't trains at the beginning of the episode.

Sarah:

And miss Lemon's like, bye. Bye. I guess I get a room at the hotel now. Time is weird in this episode because it would have taken them at least a day to go there and back. And he has to go via Plymouth, like, it would have taken a day to get back.

Sarah:

The the egg cups that Poirot gets for breakfast are so beautiful. They have little lids.

Mark:

They do.

Sarah:

They're so perfect. But But the eggs inside are not the same size.

Mark:

So this is this is where they use Poirot's borderline OCD

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

As he is very upset. Yeah. Because I think he suspects Nick at this point too.

Sarah:

Either he does or he feels like he hasn't protected her. And he may be thinking both may be possible, and either way, he's failed her. So He either wasn't smart enough to know it was her, or he's not been smart enough to to keep her safe.

Mark:

So because of that, his OCD comes out, and he goes on the rant about the eggs.

Sarah:

He just says he can't eat them. They're not the same size.

Mark:

Yeah. I

Sarah:

mean, come on. If you were Hastings and you traveled with Parrot, wouldn't you have a word Yeah. With the maitre d Yes. At the hotel Yes. To say, do you know about him?

Sarah:

There's some things.

Mark:

Also, you kinda have, like, okay, Hercule. You're having a bad day. Yeah. Let's let's just move on.

Sarah:

Just eat one egg. Yep. Did you find the the lady who works at the reception desk, the Betty Boop haired lady

Mark:

Yes. Weird? Yes. I have a note that says Betty Boop lady is weird. She's she's in one scene.

Mark:

She has 5 lines, and she is

Sarah:

She's in 2 scenes. 1 is when Jap has actually left a message to call him back because of the overdose. And the other one is when Poirot calls Charles about the will. Yeah. She's standing there frozen.

Sarah:

She's got a pencil on a calendar right next to the phone.

Mark:

Yeah. She doesn't move

Sarah:

Like, she should step away to give him some privacy on the phone, that at least the appearance of privacy on the phone. But she's like, I'm gonna stay right here next to you because I'm nosy and pretend to write something on this calendar, but I haven't thought of anything. So I'm frozen. She I don't know what the actress is thinking because she is very still. The only thing that moves is her eyes, and she sort of looks at the camera.

Mark:

Yep. I saw that too.

Sarah:

I think the camera's moving, and they've told her to be still, and she took them too seriously.

Mark:

Then we have a great scene which Poirot is great for where somebody else, 2 other people are having a funny conversation and Poirot is kind trying to think.

Sarah:

I love when Lemon and Hastings get to have a conversation with each other that Poirot is not a part of. Yes. When they're talking about stocks or her typewriter or in this case names and they just get kinda carried away and kind of forget that he's there.

Mark:

And that is comedy goal.

Sarah:

And they're not taking it seriously enough for him.

Mark:

That that trope of 3 people, 2 being funny, 1 not taking it sir 1 taking it too seriously is comedy goal.

Sarah:

But those 2 are They

Mark:

almost write themselves. Great. Yes. Jimmy.

Sarah:

James. They're like,

Mark:

what's your name, Jap, who we've known for years? Yep. We learned Jap's first name here.

Sarah:

We knew it. James. Yep. And do you know miss Lemon's first name?

Mark:

Not off the top of my

Sarah:

head. Felicity.

Mark:

That's right. It is Felicity. Yes.

Sarah:

Fliss. They could call her Fliss or City.

Mark:

And finally her

Sarah:

Or Flit.

Mark:

Hercule. Her. We could call him Herc. And then ends it by going, I've been blind.

Sarah:

The light bulb goes off.

Mark:

The light

Sarah:

bulb Is there a name that has more accepted nicknames than Elizabeth has?

Mark:

I don't think so.

Sarah:

I can't think of one.

Mark:

Elizabeth is.

Sarah:

I think they're right. I think Margaret is close. Yeah. But I think there are more commonly acceptable nicknames for somebody named Elizabeth and Amber.

Mark:

For women and and James or,

Sarah:

I think Edward. Edward. Because there's Ed, Eddie, Ward. Yeah. I've I've never understood dick for Richard, but Yeah.

Sarah:

Who knows? I don't know how that happened.

Mark:

It's time to get everybody together.

Sarah:

Everybody, including missus Croft. She's out of the house. She's got a dandy hat on that belongs on granny and the Beverly Hillbillies.

Mark:

They know exactly what's gonna happen because the the the will suddenly arrives the next day. Like

Sarah:

That's bad criming.

Mark:

I'm sorry. Bad criming. Oh, we mailed that. Oh, I guess it just got lost in the mail. Uh-huh.

Mark:

Oh, it suddenly shows up at the most opportune time. What I would have done is, of Poirot, is I would have had that letter open beforehand, and I would have said my entire fortune goes to Freddie because then the crofts would have freaked out.

Sarah:

They would have been like, what? We saw that will get written. Yeah. She left it oh. Yeah.

Sarah:

Oops. Yep. Good day.

Mark:

Well, they kind of are like, yeah. We gotta get going.

Sarah:

He Poirot is able to get everybody together under the auspice of reading the will. So he and Charles have met, and he's let Charles in on the ruse. I think Charles knows that Nick isn't dead. I think he knows exactly what's going to happen.

Mark:

Yeah. Charles knows what's gonna happen.

Sarah:

Because he is an authority in that setting, and he could have stopped them from having the seance. Miss Lemon does a perfect job of pretending she doesn't know that they're gonna have a seance.

Mark:

Yes. But she clearly knows.

Sarah:

Well, once they once Hastings is like, I'm gonna turn off the lights. Ready? Hold hands. 3, 2, hold hands. 3 They should turn around and like High towel.

Mark:

Miss loving should be, like, all dressed up like like a gypsy garb.

Sarah:

Levitating. She does a really good job with the. Yeah. I don't remember. Weird is the actress who plays miss Lemon is a psychic.

Mark:

Yes. She's a psychic now. I don't remember what I thought the first time I saw this, but anyone who dies off camera in a detective show, I know enough to go,

Sarah:

that must be dead. Might not be dead. But if you were if you you're watching this for the first time or reading it for the first time and you're clever enough to know Nick is faking it. I mean, Freddie keeps going, she's a liar. She's a liar.

Sarah:

She's been a liar her whole life. She can't help it. She's just such a liar. Did I mention she's a liar? And Nick is, like, conveniently talking about all these attempts on her life that nobody was there for but her.

Sarah:

Yeah. You know? And so you're like, okay. But she's lying, but I don't know why she's lying. Yeah.

Sarah:

Now she's dead. The Crofts get the money, but the Crofts didn't do it.

Mark:

I didn't I didn't shoot no woman.

Sarah:

We forged the will. Oh, missus Croft is like, this

Mark:

is no killing.

Sarah:

That's the gardener. Except that pig. I liked it. And then Nick shows up in her white dress with the tassel that belongs on some curtains or something.

Mark:

This is just some Ferrago.

Sarah:

Like, did Poirot say, do you have anything in your wardrobe that looks ghosty?

Mark:

Ethereal.

Sarah:

Ethereal. Can you can you get something whipped up in time that looks floaty?

Mark:

Can you come in on a drinks cart?

Sarah:

Yeah. Roller skates, do you have any roller skates? We can just push you and just float into the room. And the crocs are like, what the dagnabbit? It's like Scooby showed up.

Mark:

It is. The the cops are totally Scooby.

Sarah:

Yeah. And then Nick is like I

Mark:

would've got away with it if it wasn't for this Nick the murderer.

Sarah:

Yeah. Nick's like, well, you're not gonna get my money now. And she's all righteous cuteness, and you're like, wait a minute.

Mark:

No. So then Poirot

Sarah:

goes This isn't over yet.

Mark:

This isn't over yet.

Sarah:

This Japs been hiding.

Mark:

In the book, at this exact moment, so between the Crofts and before Nick is revealed, Freddie's husband shows up with a gun and starts shooting at us.

Sarah:

Yes. Do they, like, arrest him, take him away, and then they have the seance?

Mark:

No. No. Because they they they do the seance. They get the crofts. Right?

Mark:

Because the seance is

Sarah:

for a crop. Nick shows up. Yes. And then her husband shows up.

Mark:

Then Freddie's husband shows up and almost shoots her.

Sarah:

So do you swap the scene of Freddie finding the gun in her pocket with her husband showing up?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

So then then Nick is revealed to be the murderer of her cousin.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

And then they just all go and cover their eyes as she steals a kilo of cocaine so that she could kill herself and not have the noose. Poirot should be livid.

Sarah:

I don't think there's enough coke in her watch to kill her, especially if she's a regular user. That's not enough.

Mark:

I don't think so either.

Sarah:

Now, when I was a kid, I had a watch with a compartment like that.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

It was a Pee wee Herman watch.

Mark:

What?

Sarah:

Yeah. And instead of a clock face, it had his face. Oh. And you flipped it over, and underneath it was the clock.

Mark:

And a cocaine compartment?

Sarah:

Yeah. A little a little secret compartment. Oh. That had a little door.

Mark:

Did you put cocaine

Sarah:

in it? I was, like, 10.

Mark:

Oh, okay.

Sarah:

I didn't think about that. I just I just put pills in it instead.

Mark:

I remember seeing the ads for the the the pee wee watch, but it was too big for, like, I was 16. Like, it was It

Sarah:

would have been a little obnoxious on a 16 year old. On a 10 year old,

Mark:

it was kinda fine. At that time, I probably had also had. I had a Gumby watch that was really nice.

Sarah:

Okay. Those two things don't go together.

Mark:

Yes. They do.

Sarah:

A nice Gumby watch.

Mark:

She's fantastic.

Sarah:

Oh, no, mister Bill. I don't think there's enough coke in the watch.

Mark:

No. I don't think so either.

Sarah:

To kill her. No. But we'll we'll go along with that as long as there is justice. She doesn't get away.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

That's what Poirot cares about. She's not gonna go free.

Mark:

You know who else is not going free? Captain commander Coburn.

Sarah:

Challenger is his name. The dealer. Jap. I hope his uncle gets a little justice too. Yeah.

Sarah:

Hopefully. Doctor McAllister, the drug dealer? Because wow. He's on Harley Street dealing drugs to the rich and fancy. Yeah.

Sarah:

It's He'll probably get away with it a little bit more because he has all those wealthy aristocratic clients.

Mark:

I realized I realized that there are hard drugs in other Poirot episodes.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

There are definitely harder drugs in other episodes.

Sarah:

But Japs not keen on drug trafficking.

Mark:

But the drugs in this episode and the way they're shown in Freddy's character make the whole thing uncomfortable. I think it's it doesn't fit the tone of the rest of this season as we'll see.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's heavy.

Mark:

It's so heavy.

Sarah:

Well and Freddie has that nice, toolkit for drugs Yeah. In the room. The, like, the Coke spoon that she uses. Yeah. Is that an an ear wax cleaner or something?

Sarah:

I don't know what that's supposed to be, but it's it's a Coke spoon.

Mark:

The the only scene in which she appears strung out when they go to her room is the only kind of truthful druggy scene

Sarah:

Mhmm. For a moment. She doesn't have any makeup on and her hair is crazy and yeah. Because she's been in a room just doing as much coke as she can get out of her watch.

Mark:

Ah, well, scene. Let's go for some ice cream.

Sarah:

Ice cream isn't good for the little gray cells. Hastings, 2 for me because mine are dead already. And, Poirot, I'll just leave you here. Oh, you're having ice cream. Those are the skimpiest ice creams.

Sarah:

They are. Who gets an ice cream cone leveled off at the top? It's I think that Lemon and Hastings have eaten all of the ice cream on the way back and just down to the cones. There should be, like, lick marks on them.

Mark:

These denouements are so hard because this comes off like a Mentos commercial.

Sarah:

Yeah. Like the end of a murder she wrote.

Mark:

Oh, well, she took all the cocaine and died.

Sarah:

Like, you expect a freeze frame of them all, like, with ice cream cones laughing, and then the credits roll over it.

Mark:

Yeah. Like,

Sarah:

I do like how Poirot puts his finger on his mustache to eat the ice cream.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Do you have to do that? No. You part yours like a curtain and clip it back with, like, hair clips, like, some barrettes.

Mark:

If if you haven't been watching any of the reels that I posted, my hair and beard and mustache are a bit crazy. I'm going to get them trimmed this week so I don't scare the children at the Comics Arts Festival.

Sarah:

It's pretty scary. I think you could probably put that whole cone in your mustache. We can't do best corpse because there's only 1.

Mark:

There's only 1.

Sarah:

But after the credits, we've already

Mark:

said everybody's going to jail. But Freddie and in the last difference of the novel. In in the novel, Lazarus kinda is the day new mom because he looks at a painting in in Nick's house and goes, that painting's worth 1,000 of dollars. She didn't need to do any of this. But Jim and, Freddie go off together at the end of the novel, novel, and they do here too.

Mark:

So does

Sarah:

Freddy inherit Nick's money after she's dead? I don't know. Because isn't she the one

Mark:

that she was gonna leave the money to?

Sarah:

I guess. I mean, she's not gonna get Seaton's money. Okay? No. That's not gonna happen.

Mark:

No. I don't know. I don't know.

Sarah:

I she's not gonna get Seaton's money. Okay? No. That's not gonna happen. No.

Sarah:

Stupid plan.

Mark:

But there are 2 lawyers, Sykes not Sykes. What's his name?

Sarah:

Charles Vice?

Mark:

Yes. Charles Vice and the lawyer for Seaton Mhmm. Are gonna make out like bandits because they have they have years of bromate for this stuff.

Sarah:

It's very complicated.

Mark:

They are gonna build because

Sarah:

we don't know who Maggie's heir actually was.

Mark:

They're gonna build some mistakes.

Sarah:

Yeah. Because Maggie should have had a will too. Yeah. I'm sure. And Nick might have been her heir.

Mark:

Maybe.

Sarah:

We don't know. And if Freddie is Nick's heir, they have to find the actual will and not the forged one. Yeah. Who knows where that is? It's probably in the Croft's house.

Sarah:

So the Crofts are going to jail for forging the will. Challenger is going to jail for being a coke dealer.

Mark:

Now they, again, the cops only thought they were getting the house.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

And they're gonna go to jail for years for that. Yeah. It's not worth it.

Sarah:

No. Charlie just gonna go to jail for drug dealing, and I assume his uncle's gonna get some time too

Mark:

or

Sarah:

at least be shamed.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

I don't think that Freddie and Lazarus are gonna get any jail time just for taking cocaine.

Mark:

And her It might

Sarah:

not even have been illegal at this time to take cocaine, but maybe just intent to sell was illegal. I don't know.

Mark:

And Freddie's husband showing up and getting arrested by the police for attempted murder is the way that Freddie erases her situation.

Sarah:

Yeah. In the book. Yeah. Which is sad if the only way to get a divorce is to have your ex your husband try to kill you Yeah. In front of people.

Sarah:

Yeah. You gotta have witnesses. Otherwise, it's your word against his. Right? Nick is incredibly horrible.

Mark:

And if she doesn't die with the cocaine, she'd go like, I think she should be in prison forever because I'm not a death

Sarah:

But at this time, she should get the death penalty.

Mark:

She should get the news.

Sarah:

Because not only does she cold bloodedly kill Maggie Yeah. For money. Just for money with quite a plan in place. It wasn't like it was heat of the moment. Right?

Mark:

Shoots her in the back of the head.

Sarah:

She knows the Crofts are gonna get framed. Yep. She knows Freddie is gonna get framed. She put the gun in her best friend's pocket

Mark:

She's horrific.

Sarah:

Hoping that Freddy would get in trouble for it.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

So by the time she puts the gun in Freddie's pocket, she knows that about the plot of her faking her death and coming back.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

And she intends for Freddie to get framed for killing Maggie.

Mark:

Yeah. Fairly's getting fingered. That is just horrible. Yeah. She's a horrible person.

Mark:

And the way her you you were right. The way her face changes when she's found out

Sarah:

Yeah. She goes from being this pretty light kind of, you know, no worries person.

Mark:

I was like, oh, there's Beth Sedgwick. She's sneering. Yeah. So she plays Beth Sedgwick in the Bertram's Hotel Yeah. In Marple.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

And she is she's evil from the very beginning. In another show in which she pretends shoots herself, the same actress pretend shoots herself in 2 different Agatha Christie's. Agatha Christie story.

Sarah:

Yeah. Well, that is Peril at End House. Yes. Season 2 episode 1. Next week, season 2 episode 2, shorter episode.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Not a mini movie. Yep. And it is?

Mark:

The veiled lady.

Sarah:

As they all are, it's a good one. I and I don't wanna give anybody impression. I don't like this Poirot. I love it. It just has some holes in it, but I don't care.

Mark:

I think they were like, we wanna try to do a movie, but we don't like

Sarah:

The original story has those holes in it.

Mark:

Yeah. I think they wanted to do a movie and wanted to try to do a movie, but they didn't wanna waste Orient Express.

Sarah:

Or It wasn't that hard to

Mark:

ask Evan.

Sarah:

They weren't ready for those. Yeah.

Mark:

Yeah. They they weren't ready for those. They were this was a dry run of the movies that take over after season 4.

Sarah:

Yeah. But it's a good one.

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

Alright. Until next time.

Mark:

Wow. Remember, peppermint rock is big as your arm.

Sarah:

That you can wave at somebody's face. Ready to go move some mulch? No. Okay. Bye, maniacs.

Mark:

Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the Mystery Maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, beyond the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.

Mark:

Bye, maniacs.

Sarah:

What are you doing, Herc? What are you doing, Herc?