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Diagnosed with Complex Trauma and a Dissociative Disorder, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about complex trauma, dissociation (CPTSD, OSDD, DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality), etc.), and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
Over:
Speaker 2:Welcome to the System Speak Podcast, a podcast about Dissociative Identity Disorder. If you are new to the podcast, we recommend starting at the beginning episodes and listen in order to hear our story and what we have learned through this endeavor. Current episodes may be more applicable to long time listeners and are likely to contain more advanced topics, emotional or other triggering content, and or reference earlier episodes that provide more context to what we are currently learning and experiencing. As always, please care for yourself during and after listening to the podcast. Thank you.
Speaker 1:And it's snowing, and that's what I can tell everybody about is it's snowing. And the snow is very cold, but also it's kinda sparkly, but it tried to blind my eyes, I think. But we walked to the park. It's only two miles. And we walked to the park in the snow, and I did not even fall one time.
Speaker 1:And then we played on the playground in the snow, and I got to do all the footprints because no one else came to the park in the snow. And then, also, it was walking home. I saw a dog, but she said I cannot keep it. But I got to play in the snow, and I got home safe. And I find my way because I know how to do it all by myself, and I have permission to walk to the park.
Speaker 1:So we walk the kids to school, and then we can walk to the park all by ourselves without nothing helping us. Just all by myself, and we had so much fun. Can you hear me walking? Crunch. Crunch.
Speaker 1:Crunch. That's just me stomping. I like if we could go stomping. If I can go stomping in the snow, then I can hear a crunch, crunch, crunch. Do you hear that sound?
Speaker 1:It was crunch, crunch, crunch. And then I just get to walk all the way. And when we get home, then we play in the backyard, and we made a snowman. And I know Amber just sings the song, do
Speaker 1:you be a snowman? I say, stop singing the Frozen song because I'm tired of the Frozen song, but she still just keeps singing. Do you wanna be a snowman? Do you wanna build a snowman? Do you wanna build a snowman? Over and over and over. No.
Speaker 1:I don't wanna build a snowman. I did wanna build a snowman, but I don't wanna build a snowman now with you if you're gonna keep singing that song. So she stopped singing the song. So since she stopped singing the song, I went and I got some carrots and also some blueberries, and we used the blueberries for to make some eyeballs and to make some buttons. And then I took her husband's hat, and we made a hat for our snowman.
Speaker 1:And that's what we did today, playing outside. But now the kids are at school, and I'm so glad because they are home for so many days for it was Thanksgiving, and I got to eat so much food. I had some mashed potatoes, and I had some green beans, and I had some meat, and I had some pie, and I had some what else do I have? I don't even know because I had so many foods. And we put up our Christmas tree, and I'm not even scared of it.
Speaker 1:But some people are scared of it. But I'm not scared of it today. My therapist says, she says she says she says, now time is safe. And that means if you have memory time, it's not right now. It's just a memory.
Speaker 1:And it's a long time ago. And it really was hard, so you don't have to feel bad that it was hard. But now is safe and that can help you feel better. And she wrote on my hand with a Sharpie, and it said, N T I S. And that means, Now time is safe.
Speaker 1:She wrote on my hand. And so we put our Christmas tree up, and I look at my hand, and it says, now time is safe. And all those outside kids, they had so much fun of it. And there are some Christmas lights, and Amber lights the Christmas lights, which make her stop singing the snowman song. And then now everybody, all the kids, all the outside kids all went back to school.
Speaker 1:But I don't have to go to school. I can just stay home, and I can play in the snow, and I can go a snowman. And I don't know what else I'd do. Maybe a puzzle. Or I know somebody who maybe will be painting today, but I'm not very good at painting, but I can if I want to.
Speaker 1:But I don't get in trouble at our house because now time is safe. So our house now is a safe house, and so we have a house that's safe now. So we don't want to be too scared. And if I go out and play in the snow, I don't get locked out there or nothing, and I'm not cold, and I'm not scared. I just come inside, and I can warm up, and I can play with something else, or I can do some Play Doh or something.
Speaker 1:But I don't have to be afraid because now time is safe. That's what t I s means. It means now time is safe. And so I wrote in Sharpie on my hand, and also I can get a snack maybe. Maybe some pudding or a piece of cheese or maybe maybe we'll have something fun at lunchtime.
Speaker 1:I I don't really know what we're having at lunchtime because well, I just ate breakfast, but I'm excited for lunchtime. I I also kinda like dinnertime, but when the kids come home from school, then that is snack time. And I like snack time too, so that might be fun. But when the kids come home from school, then, you know, we're doing we're going outside at the backyard by the park, and we're going sledding down the hill. And I cannot even wait.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited for it. You will not even believe it. It will be so much fun. Know what else is fun? Coming in from the snow and having hot chocolate, and you can put some marshmallows in there.
Speaker 1:And that's pretty fun too because I like a good snack. And if you're cold, you need to warm up. And the best way to warm up is some hot chocolate and some marshmallows in there for so it'll be tasty. And then and then your hot chocolate will make you warm, but not hot, just warm. You know what can make you hot is if you have chips and salsa.
Speaker 1:That's a good snack. If you have chips and salsa, then that can make you warm. That's in a fun way or like a summertime snack or really an anytime snack or just if you want some snack, some salsa. It's it's pretty yummy. So that's what that's what that's that's that's what I know about is some snacks and hot chocolate and the snow and also some dogs, but I don't got a dog right now.
Speaker 1:I used to have a dog, and I really like dogs. But I don't got one right now, but I think that's all. Because I I try to make podcasts like Sasha, but this kinda just made me hungry. So I think I need to go get a snack for for snack time because we talked about snack time, so maybe now it is snack time. So I hope you have a good day, and you can go play in the snow.
Speaker 1:And I'll see you another time, but not like a video because she told me it's only podcast is listening and not a video for watching. So she teach me Sasha teach me how to do it. Maybe I can. But I think maybe now we all go have a snack. Maybe you might want a snack, something something delicious that you you feel not hungry and then you feel delicious and and then that that's pretty happy because now time is safe.
Speaker 1:So snack time is safe. Yeah. That's how it goes, I think. Thanks for listening. Your support really helps us feel less alone while we sort.
Speaker 2:Thank you for listening. Your support really helps us feel less alone while we sort through all of this and learn together.