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A relatable and honest podcast about the highs and lows of being a youth hockey parent. Join us as we share real stories, struggles, and wins from the rink, offering insights and support for parents navigating the world of youth hockey.
Everybody. Welcome back to episode 14
Scott:And we're back.
Jamie:The Father's Day edition.
Scott:Father's Day. Shout out to all those dads.
Jamie:What's up? Happy Father's Day, everybody. Matter of fact, so we're gonna do actually guess the fact that it's Father's Day kinda ties in nicely to what I wanted to talk about today.
Scott:Yes.
Jamie:And that is the importance of fathers in the development of their In
Scott:making children.
Jamie:That's important too. Generally, doesn't work without that person or the other one for that matter.
Scott:There you go.
Jamie:You know, that's a whole hot button topic these days, isn't it?
Scott:Yes, but we're gonna focus on hockey.
Jamie:Yeah, we're not gonna talk about that. We are definitely not gonna talk about that.
Scott:Yeah. So dads in hockey and
Jamie:Dads in hockey. Role models. Yes. And how important dads are in the development of your kids. Yeah.
Jamie:And how also it can hurt your kids.
Scott:Yeah. Well Right? Lots to unpack there.
Jamie:Yes. Yes. So we're gonna get into that. So for those of you that don't know us, we are the crazy hockey dads. I'm Jamie.
Jamie:This is Scott.
Scott:What's up, everyone?
Jamie:Here we are at episode 14.
Scott:14 now. Which is kinda wild. Fourteen weeks and running.
Jamie:It's wild. It is. I mean, I'm I mean, I feel like we just started this, like, yesterday.
Scott:Yeah. You know, the I think the first time we actually sat down to try to record something was last September.
Jamie:Is that right?
Scott:Yeah. I'm pretty sure. That was the first time we tried recording something. And it was like the thick of hockey season.
Jamie:Is that right? That's when we actually tried to do this.
Scott:I'm pretty sure the first time we recorded something was in September. Anyway
Jamie:And we waited that long to figure this out?
Scott:I don't think it was a matter of like waiting to figure out. I think it was just a matter of timing.
Jamie:Yeah. I yeah. I I didn't realize it was that long. I'm actually surprised.
Scott:Yeah. Alright. Listen. Well, we're here now. Yes.
Scott:Episode 14.
Jamie:Yes. So any any hockeying by the way over the weekend? Auto gaming hockey?
Scott:No. Last week, yes.
Jamie:Okay. What's he getting?
Scott:So working on strength, speed, agility Okay. Gym class style. Youth functional fitness I think
Jamie:is actually what's Oh, yes. So you're doing like an off ice and nice. Doing both. Right?
Scott:And then then got on the ice last Wednesday with a group.
Jamie:Okay. Right.
Scott:Got some reps in.
Jamie:Okay.
Scott:Should be on a daily basis shooting pucks. That does not always happen, I can assure you. But that's on his list of things to do.
Jamie:Dominic's been cranking that up by the way.
Scott:Yeah. Good for him.
Jamie:Like big time.
Scott:Yeah. And you know Kids
Jamie:change it.
Scott:It gives me a lot it gives me a lot of hope. Yeah. Not not because well, because Dominic is a close example of someone who a couple years ago, you would tell me.
Jamie:Same thing.
Scott:It could have been in the, like, in the last twelve months where he was like, no. I'm good.
Jamie:Now you're a 100100100%.
Scott:100 he's rocking. Yeah.
Jamie:Yeah. It's funny how how their mindset changes as they get older. Once they start to see things and like see the path, they kinda I don't know. Something just snaps in their head. If they really want it, they go after it.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:Which is which is cool.
Scott:You know? That was like Otto this morning. I was out the door running by at, like, 07:30.
Jamie:See, Otto, he's pretty good with some of that stuff. Maybe he's not consistent, but he's doing
Scott:He's showing signs that he's he's signaling that it's something that's important to him. Right. Now he's not doing it every day.
Jamie:Listen, but I think you're you're you're getting there?
Scott:No. It's it's going in the right direction. And the fact that he's like game to, you know, do body weight strength and conditioning stuff and you know, go to a gym environment and Right. Spend time doing that. You know, look, there's he it's we're not taking it uber seriously.
Jamie:Right. But But he's doing.
Scott:But he's doing. I think it's great. And so I think that hopefully that's a good sign of what's to come. Listen. Time will tell.
Jamie:Dominic was not waking up early and and going running two years ago.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:So but you know what he is doing now, which is pretty wild. What? So he's coming to the gym with me every day.
Scott:Every day?
Jamie:Every day.
Scott:Wait. So let me get this straight. You go to the gym every day and play pickleball every day?
Jamie:I don't play pickleball every day.
Scott:Oh, you don't?
Jamie:I played this morning. I played Wednesday morning and Friday morning.
Scott:And any day that ends in y morning.
Jamie:Listen. It's great cardio and and speaking of running What?
Scott:All these dinks?
Jamie:These little dinks? What do call them? I hate running. Yeah. I I I can't even
Scott:say that. Are you a dinker? Is that even is that a position in in pickleball? Are you, like, the left dinker?
Jamie:Do I hear something crazy? Is that a hockey father is the one that got me into this stupid game.
Scott:Why why is it of what what is so what?
Jamie:No. I was just What? Just ironic.
Scott:He should have gotten you into men's league?
Jamie:Hockey? Yeah. Nah. Why? Nah.
Scott:Come
Jamie:on. I haven't skated since, like, ten.
Scott:There's a spot on our team. Have fun.
Jamie:Have fun filling it with somebody else. No. Honestly, I I hate running, so so I like and I was I mean, I hate running, but I but I like I'll do this cardio wise.
Scott:Yeah? Yeah. That's great.
Jamie:You should play.
Scott:Play what? Pickleball. Can I be the left dinker?
Jamie:Sure. Okay. Did you speaking of Father's Day, did you see what Dominick got me for Father's Day?
Scott:No. Hold on. Oh, it's here? Is that
Jamie:oh, very cute.
Scott:Is that wait. That's a green wiffle ball. Sort of.
Jamie:Yes. Yes. It is a apparently, is the jelly Jelly cat? Jelly cat.
Scott:That is a that's a that's you're flexing your
Jamie:The jelly cat.
Scott:Your stuffy muscles right This
Jamie:this was in my Father's Day bag along with a card and like Nice. Candy and like a gift. Yeah. This was yeah. Was yeah.
Jamie:So yeah. He he like he Dominic loves Jellycat.
Scott:It's great.
Jamie:It's good stuff. They make great stuff by the way. I mean, how cool is that? Yeah. You know?
Jamie:I mean, it's yeah. So my baseball, I got a couple years ago.
Scott:This is like stuffed animal hour.
Jamie:Show and tell. Right? Again, also from Dominic. But but yeah. So but yeah.
Jamie:So no. Pick pickleball is actually a really good a fun game.
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:Yeah.
Scott:Yeah. They say It's all the rage.
Jamie:They say people that play paddle sports live ten years longer.
Scott:Oh, yeah?
Jamie:That's what they say. Great. Not sure if it's true. But we're gonna go with it.
Scott:Why paddle? Why can't it be a stick sport too? Hand eye coordination. What does the length or the size of the thing you hold in your hand have anything to do with anything?
Jamie:When you read about it, I and I have not So in like
Scott:in Tennis Digest, it makes all their readers feel better.
Jamie:So they're not gonna die early? Honestly, I don't I your guess I don't know the answer to that.
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:But from what I read, it just says that the the apparently, it's a thinking game Mhmm. Along with, you know, so because there's like strategy to it and I'm not gonna get into strategy because I don't wanna bore everybody, you know, but it's but when you play at the high high levels
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:Like, it gets fast Yeah. It's actually really cool.
Scott:And is there a lot of dinking?
Jamie:Oh my god. I I swore I swore to anybody that I would never play a sport that had the name pickle in it.
Scott:Yeah. You swore that? But here you are.
Jamie:Here I am. It's it's crazy. It's it's reminds me of the line from the movie Fun with Dick and Jane with
Scott:I don't know that I'm gonna know this.
Jamie:You don't know that Fun with Dick and Jane is with Jim Carrey?
Scott:Yeah. Knew that part but I don't I don't know I don't know the movie.
Jamie:So his name is Richard. So she's like, we're in a pickle dick. You should watch. Great movie. Great great great movie.
Jamie:Oh, no. Not my Telemundo. Anyone that's seen the movie understands what I'm saying. Anyway Yeah. So yeah.
Jamie:So yeah. So So pickleball's fun. But but yeah. So Dominic is going to the gym with me.
Scott:That's awesome.
Jamie:And wants to but you know what's funny? What? Is he doesn't believe me when I tell him things. Like, so we're lifting. Like, he was doing we're doing we're doing chest yesterday.
Jamie:Oh, Just like dumbbell chest presses. Yeah. Alright? Incline dumbbell chest press. So he's got, I don't know, he had like 15 pound weights in each hand.
Jamie:Yeah. And I saw him struggling trying to get him up. So I said to him, go, Dom, I go, you have to breathe out when you push up. Yeah. And he's like, yeah.
Jamie:That doesn't work.
Scott:So he says
Jamie:to me, he's like, dad, you don't know what you're talking about. I'm like, okay.
Scott:Why would he say that to you?
Jamie:I don't know. So I look at him, I go, okay. Fine. He goes, dad, your he goes, your technique doesn't work. I go, really?
Jamie:I go, Google. I go, just Google it, Dom. I go, Google. I go,
Scott:it works for everybody else but you. I go, I have no idea what you're
Jamie:talking about. I I turned to the guy next to me. I'm like, ask him, Dom. I'm like, he'll tell me. He was he was too embarrassed too.
Jamie:I go, ask the dude next to you if you're supposed to breathe when you lift. He's like, no. No. I don't wanna do that.
Scott:But he'll have no problem arguing. 100%.
Jamie:Yeah. Yeah. With me. Right? So that I thought that was kinda funny.
Scott:Yeah. So so that's a good maybe a good introduction into just like the topic. And so here you are, you find yourself at at the gym with your son and clearly playing a part in his physical development Trying. Athletic development.
Jamie:Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Trying.
Jamie:Yeah. I'm trying.
Scott:And so so let me ask you a quick, but like that fact that you're going to the gym with him more, is that was that part of the motivation behind today's topic or was there something else?
Jamie:So part it's part of it. Yeah. You know, I I thought listen. I thought Father's Day was appropriate to kind of talk about, the dad role in Yeah. In not just raising kids, but raising a hockey player.
Scott:Yep.
Jamie:You know? I think that in society, I think we're becoming a little how do I put this gently? I think we're becoming a little I don't even know what word to use, that's appropriate. Scattered, I think that parents today are letting their kids get away with stuff we were would never happen. So I think that I think that the the I wanna say the lack of parenting or maybe it's just shitty parents that are not that are creating a bad example for their kids.
Jamie:I'm not I'm not talking hockey, I'm just talking in general. General. I'm not I'm not you know, obviously, it covers everything. But I I think that I think society is I wanna say breaking down. But I think that that parents these days are different.
Jamie:Would you agree with
Scott:that? I think societal
Jamie:norms That gets political. You know, but but, you know, but I think parents are are different these days.
Scott:I well, societal norms, think, have changed.
Jamie:Yeah.
Scott:I think certainly since we were kids. I think that us as parents and our generation as parents compared to our parents, I think that there's a few more, if not a lot more variables that we have to deal with.
Jamie:Yeah. Navigate. Navigate. I agree. I think
Scott:you're right. Which which makes parenting harder in some ways. You know, again, if I think back to when we were kids and taking screen time as an example, my parents did not regulate screen time in any No. Real meaningful way.
Jamie:Mine didn't either.
Scott:I mean, they would tell us eventually like stop watching TV and go outside and do something.
Jamie:And they would say you're you're gonna get stuck like that or something stupid like that. Right.
Scott:But, you know, and maybe this is an unfair analogy and I I recognize that. But in the same way like when smoking was something that people just did because that was like a social norm and it wasn't Yeah. Until Yeah. Much later that society began to see how
Jamie:We have more and more knowledge, more data
Scott:on Right. I I think screen time while not not not smoking, but I I think there are
Jamie:Equally is bad, just a different type of bad.
Scott:Well, yeah. I I guess I was trying to refrain from saying equally. Well, okay. Maybe not equally. But there are negatives that were that our parents were not aware of.
Scott:True. That we are now finding. And look, also screens are not just the television. It's the computer, it's the iPad, it's
Jamie:the phone. Sure. Sure. Sure.
Scott:Sure. So there's like so screen time just is like one example of like the challenges that we face, I think Right.
Jamie:I see what you're saying.
Scott:And but but with that comes a lot of positives. But no. I I think It does. Look. I I think when there's a lot of accessibility to things to make life more comfortable and easier and I, generally speaking, think that the the harder way is usually the better way.
Scott:No question. Guilty as charged for taking the easier way sometimes.
Jamie:Everybody does.
Scott:But I I It's path of least resistance model. Perhaps this is speaking to what you were bringing up and that is, you know, as far as like being a role model for your kid and being oh, don't know. Good parent's not that's not fair. I'm not because that's too much of a generalization. But like if if we're trying to set good examples for our kids like not being on our phones as much as we are probably are is a great
Jamie:place start. Set a good example.
Scott:Set a good example.
Jamie:And That's kind of what I'm talking about.
Scott:Right. And and it's funny you bring this up today. I mean, obviously, Father's Day makes a lot of sense.
Jamie:Yeah.
Scott:But even
Jamie:Good topic for it.
Scott:Yeah. Yeah. Even when I think about Otto and and to a lesser extent Noah, but for Otto, he'll he'll want to do things like, you know, go shoot pucks with me or Which is cool. Or do whatever with me. And on one That's great.
Scott:On one hand, you want he's certainly independent. So I'm not concerned about there being like, you know, him being unwilling to do things on his own. Right. Like he'll do them on his own, but then he'll also turn to me and say hey, do you wanna do this with me or you wanna do that with me? And that gives me an opportunity to lead by example and to do hard things
Jamie:next to Yeah.
Scott:So he can't say yeah, but yeah, but.
Jamie:And that's kind of what I'm talking about. I think that some parents out there, and especially I think it's important for dads, because I think dads are obviously, the mom and the dad are both important to the development. But I feel like dads, I mean, the reason we called this podcast Crazy Hockey Dads, not Crazy Hockey Parents. Listen, don't get me wrong. There are lunatic mothers.
Jamie:Right? I mean, there are crazy hockey moms too. But I think that dads have a role to play. And listen, again, the reason I wanted to talk about this on Father's Day is because this podcast has become a and we talked about it on the pilot, has become a therapy session. And I have to tell you, ever since we started this, I was fixing myself before this.
Jamie:But this podcast for me has done wonders because it allows me an outlet to talk about this stuff so I don't get angry at my son for not giving effort or whatever, doing this and that. And I've noticed that as I've changed my tone with him and I've changed how I am with him and we're spending we always spend a ton of time together. But now it's just it's
Scott:It's a little different.
Jamie:Different. Yeah. I have to tell you, he has a totally different mindset. Like, it's when you when the father is beating on his kid I mean, everybody knows about the car ride home. Yeah.
Jamie:Right? The car ride home
Scott:sucks. And here you're talking about like a quote unquote beating. Yeah. I'm not talking about I mean, I'm Yeah.
Jamie:Beat on your kid verbally, like, and not not not like you're calling him an asshole, but you're just like, why didn't you do this? Why didn't you do that? You know, Johnny's somebody's better than you. Like, all that crap Yeah. Does not help.
Jamie:I'm telling you, I did it when Dominic was younger. It is fucking terrible. And I haven't done it for a long time and I do not do it anymore and that's kind of another reason for this podcast because I'm hoping to change the minds of a lot of parents that are out there berating their kids in the car ride home. Because I'm telling you right now, it does not help.
Scott:Yep. You know what's as you say
Jamie:that I get it. I know it's frustrating. You I know and I didn't mean cut you off.
Scott:No. You're
Jamie:good. But I know that you and I have had this conversation before. It's hard to sit in the car on the way home and keep your mouth shut. Yeah. It's very difficult when you're, like, when you're, like, boiling inside.
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:But you know what? I think and listen. We're gonna see what happens when the season starts.
Scott:Mhmm.
Jamie:But I have a funny feeling that that my entire demeanor is different.
Scott:It'll be different. Yeah. You know you know what? This is
Jamie:So good topic for Father's Day.
Scott:Good topic. Yeah. And and and as you even talked about just now about starting this podcast and talking about it and just even we talk about it more than just on the podcast. Yeah. But I have found that Crazy
Jamie:hockey therapy session.
Scott:No. That as I as I tried to reel myself in because I I while It's hard. In the sea of feedback that we're ultimately giving our kids Yeah. Is feedback. Yeah.
Scott:Right? At a time when it may have been more negative and and unbalanced.
Jamie:Yeah.
Scott:And now I I can look, I don't think I need to qualify this like every time I say something but you know, it's it's nothing I'm certainly not doing this perfectly and it's not every single time that I'm able to be
Jamie:Of course.
Scott:Clear minded. Certainly there are times where I lose it and I can't bite my tongue anymore. It's hard. It's hard. But I'm getting better at it and
Jamie:And that's the idea.
Scott:Right. But like giving giving him more balanced feedback. Right? Like I really if I'm gonna tell him something negative Yep. That's something I think is an opportunity and I I I always try to couple that with some form of positive feedback and it's not always a one to one or whatever Right.
Scott:But it's it's typically not always just negative feedback Right. Which I think is important. And I also think that having not always being I don't wanna say like a hard ass, right? But in some ways, it's easier just to operate from a place of like, you know, you need to improve. This is what you need to work on.
Scott:Right. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, this, that, the next. When when now when I'm operating or talking to him Mhmm. And I'm trying to have a balanced give him balanced feedback Yeah.
Jamie:Yeah. Sure.
Scott:What I'm also finding is that it in in some ways, it's also more I don't know if difficult's the right word. But if I'm if I'm strictly in like let's call it negative feedback mode Right. Or this is all the things you gotta work on and this is the plan and how we're gonna do it. Yeah. When you start balancing things Yeah.
Scott:And it it's it's it creates a little bit of a gray. Because on one side, it's like, this is good, but that's not good. But we should work on that and honestly, I'm I'm for me, I've sometimes get very caught up in my head when I'm trying to get feedback and I'm like, okay, should I push harder now? Should I not push harder?
Jamie:Yeah. What It's hard. There's delicate balance. It's very hard.
Scott:And then like having a conversation where, you know, even we're talking and it's and it's like, oh my god, this, that, then the next. Yeah. Then he's like, but he's 10 and he's and my son is, you know, and I'm like, he's still so young. He's got time to grind. He does.
Scott:And I've had coaches tell me when they see him being hard on himself, like, he's too young to grind like this.
Jamie:Yeah. You mentioned that
Scott:to me. And I was like
Jamie:I wanted his coach to say to you.
Scott:That's the way he's built. But it creates I get it. It creates a a a I get it. Me personally, trying to be more balanced in some ways makes it more difficult because I
Jamie:It's a challenge.
Scott:Yeah. I I I Super hard. It's hard to be firm but not angry sometimes Yes. Because oftentimes I'm upset about things. And then once things cool off No question.
Scott:And I go to revisit it and I I'm not charged with whatever the emotion is Yep. Then I'm like I sometimes fight for like, oh, was it even that important to give him that feedback if I don't feel that way now? And if I bring it up now, is it even worth it? Like, you know, it it's you know, I don't know. It'd be because of the fucking mind fuck.
Scott:It's
Jamie:terrible. Trust me, I get it. It's terrible. It's absolutely terrible. It's one of the worst feelings when you're sitting in the car and your kid's in the back and listen, he's unhappy because he know he didn't play well.
Jamie:Yeah. Right? He knows he didn't do so he knows. They know. And he knows that you're mad about it which is not good.
Jamie:But here's the thing. Then you're No, no, I'm just saying it. And it's so hard to sit there for the ride home, especially if you have like a two hour car ride home. And we've all done it. Yeah.
Jamie:Not maybe none of but a lot of us have done it.
Scott:I've done it.
Jamie:Yeah. It's hard. It's hard to keep your mouth shut.
Scott:I I Yeah. Super hard. And so here's another example of the mind fuckingness that happens. I
Jamie:Mind fuckingness.
Scott:Whatever. That's that's a technical term
Jamie:by the I like it. Yeah. No.
Scott:That's yeah.
Jamie:That's No. I like it.
Scott:That's real.
Jamie:I'm gonna steal
Scott:it. Yeah. You just learned something.
Jamie:I did. Appreciate it. I'm gonna use it by the way.
Scott:But but like in the car ride home. Okay. So let's just say I'm ripping pissed about something because I didn't see the amount of effort I wanted to see. Okay?
Jamie:I know.
Scott:So on one hand on one hand, it's like if I were to confront him about it, sometimes Yeah. He'll be like, no. I gave all my effort. That makes sense. Know, and I'm just like, you know, then you even I think you said the last podcast, like, he can't argue with crazy sometimes.
Scott:Right? So I find myself in that position. And then the other one is
Jamie:So true.
Scott:If I'm really upset and I'm choosing not to say something
Jamie:Yeah.
Scott:It's also uncharacteristic of me to sit there in silence. So I'm saying no. And they know. And they know. And so I might I might as well
Jamie:just Dominic has said to me before he's like, I know dad's mad. He's not speaking. Yes.
Scott:So so I
Jamie:don't And I wanna get away from that. I don't want to do that So so anymore. Right. For for I don't.
Scott:So then
Jamie:I want no part of it.
Scott:I'm quiet and like, so dad, how do you think I played? I don't know. How do you think you played? I think
Jamie:I played How do you think you played?
Scott:I played great.
Jamie:I You're, like, on a scale of one to 10, what do you think you were? He's like, 10. You're like, oh, okay.
Scott:Right. But then but then here I
Jamie:am You
Scott:have to open
Jamie:up your stupid mouth. Right? No. But here
Scott:here I am trying not to
Jamie:Yeah. Get engage
Scott:because I'm upset.
Jamie:But he's engaging you.
Scott:But he's engaging me which is totally fine and reasonable. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I where where have I gotten I've gotten better in those moments where I can just like
Jamie:Yeah. Yeah.
Scott:Not not give him the impression that I'm upset and just let him know, hey, look, this is what I think you did well. You know, this is what I think you maybe could have done well. What do you think? And have like a more rational conversation perhaps as a way of putting Which
Jamie:is great.
Scott:Yes. But it is not but it's not fucking easy. No.
Jamie:It's not. It's it's not is not we're we're saying it like it's so easy to do. It's not easy.
Scott:But and and then the other thing that also It's not. You would also
Jamie:Especially if you're a competitive person, it's not.
Scott:No. A 100%.
Jamie:Yeah. If you're any sort of type a, it's like it's like pulling fingernails.
Scott:Yeah. And and Terrible. And then when you you know because feelings aren't facts
Jamie:Mhmm.
Scott:And we don't know what happens behind closed doors at other households. True. But I can assure you, at least in my household, we've had conversations. Yeah. But don't you think that so and so and so and so and blah blah blah and da da da?
Scott:And I'm like, honestly, I don't know. But but what happens with those conversations and it typically is in the fashion of like, oh yeah, you you in our household were the exception because you you scaled things back. In most instances, we think of other people and we see how children are progressing and we're like, oh no, we gotta do more. There is no room there are no days off. No days off.
Scott:But that's like Yeah. And even in our house now, and I know I'm kind of rambling and ranting and
Jamie:I apologize.
Scott:But like
Jamie:No. Rants are good. I I I was gonna I actually was gonna put a ranting segment into each each episode. Okay.
Scott:Because this
Jamie:is actually not a bad
Scott:thing. Perfect.
Jamie:We were gonna talk about that later off the air you and I. So this is perfect.
Scott:So so in our house Yeah. Otto's compared to last spring, last spring Otto was like enrolled in in a skills clinic that also had it was pretty like it had they went to tournaments, they also did like four on four tournaments. Right. It was during the week mostly. Mhmm.
Scott:And he would do that like twice a week. Right. And it was a little bit of it, it was a drive. Then on the weekends, I was out in Newburgh? No.
Scott:No.
Jamie:Randolph?
Scott:Mount Vernon. Oh, the Hutch? Yep. So we would go
Jamie:out Eight that drive.
Scott:Yeah. It's not it's not the distances in the far with the Such
Jamie:a shitty area.
Scott:But either way Yeah. So last last spring Yeah. He was doing that
Jamie:It's not fun.
Scott:He was doing that plus Right. Steal on the weekends.
Jamie:Got it.
Scott:So he he was full of hockey
Jamie:Got it. Got it.
Scott:Got it. During the week. This this Right. This summer this spring didn't do anything during the week. Right.
Scott:That was intentional.
Jamie:Yeah. You said that. Yeah.
Scott:And I was talking to Orly and Orly's like, yeah. We're like taking a really big break. And I'm like, yeah. It's not a bad thing. No.
Scott:I I it's it's definitely different than last year. Yeah. But then on but at least internally in our house, it's like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Scott:But we talked about this. You know, we talked about like taking a break and it's okay. And then like the the fact that he's not doing it as much creates a whole another conversation like, well, are we sure he's even still into it? I'm like, we chose not to sign him up. Feel like we had this conversation He's outside running.
Scott:In January. And I'm listen. I'm not I'm not pointing the finger at my wife on this. We both share this.
Jamie:Well, because people change their minds as well.
Scott:No. Of course. I who does that?
Jamie:Listen. I
Scott:I know.
Jamie:I last episode, I said I changed Dom's spring summer Right. You know, plans up.
Scott:So to wrap up my rant, which I'll do now, and and that is we are we didn't change our plans. He's done less. And what I'm finding is, like in terms of being a role model for him Mhmm. Is I have an opportunity to spend time with him doing things related to hockey Cool. Like go running Yeah.
Scott:Shoot pucks, whatever just like you're going to the gym with your son. Yeah. Yeah. It's cool too. It's really good bonding time.
Jamie:Really cool.
Scott:This is not this is because he wants it, not because I wanna like flex my influence over Same
Jamie:with Dominic.
Scott:Yeah. And so if he wants to shoot puckles, I'll feed him pucks or I'll throw him pucks at him and he can practice tipping the puck, whatever. Absolutely, dude. That's huge. It's huge.
Scott:You know, the other
Jamie:part Just quality time.
Scott:Right. And the role modeling piece and the last thing I'll say for now is continuing to work on like that feedback piece and you you know I I How did how did
Jamie:I I wrote something down Yeah. What you're saying right now. This is I I was I just I I like parenting stuff and children need to see you children need to see you model how to be an adult for them.
Scott:So my my daily temper tantrums
Jamie:You don't wanna do that in front of your kid. Joking. I know you are. Yeah. No.
Jamie:No. It's important. I think it's very important. And that's what we're talking about. But this comes back to the ice rink.
Jamie:When you unload on your kid in the back seat of a car, you're not showing him the right way to be. You're not. You're showing that you cannot control yourself.
Scott:And
Jamie:I tell Dominic all the time, you need to control your emotions. So when you unload, you're not controlling your emotions and they know this. They know all of this stuff. And the fact that they already feel like shit and they know when they don't play well. They do.
Jamie:They know that they're bad when they're bad. And I think parents unloading on them in the car is a problem and it's mostly the dads, that's why I kind of thought it was a nice, but a good topic to touch on.
Scott:For Father's Day.
Jamie:For Father's Day. Because I think it's really important for parents to try to create a good environment for your kid to learn and develop, because all kids learn and develop at different speeds. And if your kid doesn't have a good season, you may just need to find a new home, or he may just need to grow, or he may just need to mature. I'm reading a book for like the tenth time. It's called Raising Men by a retired Navy SEAL, Eric Davis.
Jamie:If anybody likes to read, go read that book. Download it on Audible or something. It's a phenomenal book on how to raise children. Okay. Good rec.
Jamie:Yeah. I'm reading it literally for the sixth or seventh time.
Scott:Good for you.
Jamie:It's a really good book. Again, you just need to So again, I'm kind of fostering a different environment for Dominic now and my wife said to me today, she's like, Jamie, do you see how his mindset is totally turned? And it's totally turned. So I'm really curious to see what he's gonna look like when the season starts with this different mindset. Now I have to keep this mindset going, you know, because
Scott:And and how would you call this mindset? Like, what what what do you how you
Jamie:I've just changed. I know I I don't we were at a three on three, like, a couple weeks ago. Think it was Tanya
Scott:Yeah. We did
Jamie:a couple of three on threes, And I I don't think that he gave gave a ton of effort in it. Yeah. I didn't say anything to him.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:I said nothing.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:We went for ice cream after he got in the And he had
Scott:he he you didn't give any other I literally clues that he would be like, hey, dad's mad.
Jamie:I said nothing.
Scott:And you were normal.
Jamie:You know, because what I said to myself, I'm gonna do the twenty four hour rule.
Scott:That's what
Jamie:said to myself. And you know what? When the twenty four hours came, it wasn't even an issue for me. And I never maybe I should never blow
Scott:that up. But that's part that's so I'm glad you said that because It was great, Scott. Time It
Jamie:was great.
Scott:But listen
Jamie:Twenty four hour, we talk about don't talk to your coach for twenty four hours. Yep. This is a parent twenty four hour rule.
Scott:Yes. I understand that.
Jamie:And I totally dropped it. It wasn't important to me.
Scott:Here's another one.
Jamie:Twenty four hours.
Scott:Yeah. This is not what I was gonna say right away, but here's another one. Another line of questioning that you or me or any parent listening can ask themselves. Like in the in the thick of
Jamie:it Yeah.
Scott:You can ask yourself, does it need to be said? Does it need to be said right now? And does it need to be said by me?
Jamie:And the the answers to the first two are probably no.
Scott:And if you don't answer yes to all three of those, then you probably can afford some time before anything gets
Jamie:Or to not bring it up at all.
Scott:Right. Doesn't need to be said. Doesn't need to be said now. Yeah. And doesn't need to be said by me.
Scott:Yeah. And if if the if, you know, if yes to all three, then okay. But
Jamie:I think it's very important. So so I have a a friend of mine who
Scott:But can I ask you a question before you tell the story? But like, let's talk about effort for example. Mhmm. Like, my my concern sometimes is that if I don't say it when it's like fresh and lively in in my mind. Now again, delivery is a big part of it.
Scott:Right? If I don't say anything and I let the twenty four hours go by and the next day it's like, you know what? I'm just happy not to be angry anymore. I'm not gonna say anything. You know, that's where the part of the mind fuck for me comes in and this is like Yeah.
Scott:Well, now kind of like it's out of context Yeah. After the fact like Yeah. Saying something now, is that is that worthwhile or do I just wait until the next time it happens? And I often and I would say that I often if I wait twenty four hours, I'm probably not gonna say something unless
Jamie:You're probably just gonna drop it.
Scott:Not something that
Jamie:It won't be important in twenty
Scott:four hours. Unless it was a new thing that's like a new development. Okay.
Jamie:Fair.
Scott:But for repeat behavior Like effort. At effort. Repeat behavior. Okay. I don't, I also don't always want it to come up in like a negatively charged
Jamie:Right.
Scott:Like
Jamie:Right.
Scott:And so I guess what my other question is is twenty four hours setting the stage for your son or daughter. Like Yeah. Maybe it's gonna catch them off guard if you're like, hey, listen. I just wanna talk to you about yesterday. Remember yesterday when you were doing x y z?
Scott:I noticed you you you didn't seem like you were giving, you know, a lot of effort. Yeah. You know, were you? Was something going on? Yeah.
Scott:Like, that's that's a reasonable conversation No happening the next day. Right?
Jamie:No question about it. Yes. Yep. Yes. But because listen, there's a lot of things going on with these kids.
Jamie:Like, their best friend could be, like, be like, they could be in a spat with their best friend or, you know you know, these kids, I feel like they need consistency Yep. You know, from the parent. Yep. Right? Especially the dad.
Jamie:The the kids always seem to look to the dad, like, when they don't do well in a sport. Right? You always see kids looking to their father in the stands. Right? Yeah.
Jamie:Yeah. Right? For the most part,
Scott:dad's of that that I know where they're a kid's looking at their parent, it it yes. It's been dad. But I'm sure there's instances where moms
Jamie:Oh, sure. Uh-huh. I'm sure. But for the most part, it's the dad.
Scott:That's what I've seen.
Jamie:Right? And that's why, again, I thought this was a good Father's Day topic. You know, I think that being consistent with your kid is important. Mhmm. Right?
Jamie:I think that inconsistent parents are not a healthy thing for a kid. I'm gonna give you an example.
Scott:Please. I was gonna ask you.
Jamie:So there is a skate and I was telling you that the guy from Switzerland is doing it on
Scott:Tuesday Sweden?
Jamie:Sorry, Sweden. Thank you. Tuesdays and Thursdays? Yeah. Right?
Jamie:And this other parent said, Oh Jamie, why don't we carpool there? So I was like, Sure, you take him Tuesday, I'll take him Thursday or vice versa. And I have to tell you, this dad, he texts me there and he's like, We're not going. We're not doing it. He's like, I'm not paying any more money for this.
Jamie:I'm not doing this. I'm not doing that. If he doesn't show me that he could do this, I'm not doing this for him. And he flip flops
Scott:Mhmm.
Jamie:Depending on his current mood.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:Or if his kid is acting up or not acting up. Right? So the parent flip flops.
Scott:It's like reactionary to their children's behavior.
Jamie:No question. And listen, I'm sure we all do it. Mhmm. But I don't think it's healthy for the child. I used to do it too with Dominic, and it's not healthy.
Scott:And and can you so to clearly state, what is it in that sentence?
Jamie:Consistency. You need to be consistent. Yeah. Okay?
Scott:With your commitments.
Jamie:Yes. Mhmm. Either you're going to take them to this or you're not gonna take them to this. Right?
Scott:Don't do it sometimes yes and sometimes no because you were a good or bad boy joining.
Jamie:I think you're I think you're giving a lot of mixed signals. Yeah. And I think that is not I wanna say healthy for the child. I'm kinda but I don't think it's a good thing for their psyche. Right?
Jamie:These kids are very fragile.
Scott:If they're if they're regular being like like quote unquote punished because that's ultimately what it sounds like. The kids being punished for not showing dad what dad wants to see. Correct.
Jamie:And I have to tell you, a lot of these kids, you know, they will say things like, you know, and I've heard kids say this. I've heard them say like, oh, know, why should I try? It's not gonna matter anyway. I can't make my parent happy anyway.
Scott:You've heard that? You've heard a kid say that? Yeah. Absolutely. That sucks.
Jamie:Yeah. You know, and you're like, holy shit, what is his parents saying to their kid behind the scenes? You know what I mean? Like that's a shame. Yeah.
Jamie:You know? So I don't think you wanna waffle back and forth. I don't think you're creating a stable environment.
Scott:Yeah. Listen, I think consistency is important in different regards. That one, yes, if you're gonna make a commitment to doing something, you should see it through. Yeah. And that I think is probably both from the parental and the child standpoint.
Scott:Right. Understanding that a kid is going to have his ups and downs and act irrational and
Jamie:Yep.
Scott:You know, all those things and that's something that's easy. Like we we regularly in our house are regularly is maybe that's the right word. I don't know. But like, you know, to like when the kids are not listening for the fifth or sixth time, you know, often I result to like there's gonna be a consequence. And Sure.
Scott:Well, that's normal. Right. Right. But what I'm saying is that consequence in in that moment in time, it could be like we're about to go to like a skating session And I'll be like,
Jamie:dude We're not going.
Scott:If you don't finish that, you're not going.
Jamie:And yeah. I know. It's it's hard. Don't get me wrong. It it is hard.
Jamie:And and listen, if the kid is doing something that's that's I don't think that's a problem. You
Scott:know what I But
Jamie:that's different. That's the kid doing something like at the moment you're about to walk out of the house.
Scott:Potentially. Right. Or something they didn't do, like their homework right before you walk out the door.
Jamie:So if that's the case and and it was made clear before, if you don't do your homework, we're not going to the skate. There has to be a consequence for things.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:You know what I mean? And again, also very important for a father or a parent. You know, I think that there needs to be very clear consequences. If you do x, this is why it's going to happen.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:And I think that's just good parenting.
Scott:Right. So one of the things that's come like with this example, and I'm not disagreeing Yeah. With what you're saying, but I've had this conversation with Orly and that's been let's that hockey should not be a consequence. And and that's not like surely there's exceptions to all the rules. Right.
Scott:But my but to this is like hockey as does has so many positives from like the team aspect of it Mhmm. To the discipline aspect Right. To like the the wellness aspect, the physical fitness aspect. Like there's just a lot of good things going there. If let's just say in this example hypothetical, Otto doesn't do his homework and we're about to go to hockey.
Scott:We've had the conversation at home. It's like, okay. Well, let's not punish him with hockey. Right. Let's not take that away.
Scott:Let's we can take away screen time. We can take away screen time and not punish them with hockey. Because you know, I will I will also tell you what's happened in our household and I'm sure it's happened in other households where you make a threat and it doesn't have to be about hockey. Right. And the kid's like, yeah.
Scott:Go ahead. Take it away. Yeah. Oh, you won't know? Okay.
Jamie:Then I'll take it worse. It
Scott:away. End them taking
Jamie:that away.
Scott:Worst thing for a kid is they're
Jamie:a parent.
Scott:You're like, fine. Yeah. Great.
Jamie:Yeah. Go ahead.
Scott:Because I I don't
Jamie:want one anyway. Yeah. That's the worst thing for a parent too.
Scott:Right. Then You're like and you
Jamie:look at your wife, you're like, shit. What the fuck do we do now? Right. Right. Jesus Christ.
Scott:Right on. Go up to
Jamie:your room and stand there for five hours.
Scott:What do you
Jamie:do what do you do then? Not easy. Parenting is not easy and there's no handbook.
Scott:No. There is none. But I think with respect to what we're talking about right now when you're talking about consistency, I I I think for at least in our house, we've we've tried at times with success and others without but
Jamie:Yeah.
Scott:Like that hockey is not gonna be the punishment. At least for for our for our sit you know, like our situation Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Scott:We think that taking away something like screen time is going to be Yeah. Worse potentially.
Jamie:In that book Raising Men Yeah. I was telling you
Scott:No screen time.
Jamie:About that Navy SEAL
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:Eric Davis. His wife called him one day and said, your son refuses to do his homework. So he comes home and he's like so he looks at us and he's like, is that true? And the kid's like, yep. So he's like, okay.
Jamie:He's like, go get me your PlayStation and your skateboard. Guy's such a savage.
Scott:Oh, yeah. Like
Jamie:So the kid brings down his PlayStation
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:And his skateboard and he brings it into the backyard and he turns to his wife and he's like, good. She's like, he smashes the kid's skateboard, breaks in two Oof. And then he takes the PlayStation and he throws it in the pool. In the pool. OMG.
Jamie:It sinks and then the kid starts to walk away and he looks at and goes, where are going? He's like, run inside. He goes, go get your PlayStation. Yo. It was awesome.
Jamie:What a savage.
Scott:Dude, I saw Total savage. I saw an Instagram clip of a tag. I'm telling
Jamie:you, raising men, go buy it. Or or rent it or something or download it, whatever you do. I'm telling you, Eric Davis, retired Navy Seal, phenomenal book.
Scott:So I saw something similar like an Instagram clip Yeah. Or whatever clip where basically there's it looked like a teenage child, someone that like, I don't know, is is more developed at least between the ears. Yeah. And whatever his vice was, let's let's say it was like, I don't know, let's just say it was an older thing. Let's say it was DVDs for example.
Jamie:What? What are those?
Scott:I know.
Jamie:Those like those VHS tapes?
Scott:Yeah. Similar to different tapes. They're just round and thin.
Jamie:Yeah. Exactly.
Scott:But either way or call it make it baseball cards. Make it make it video game. Whatever you wanna
Jamie:do.
Scott:Do you know that
Jamie:we actually put a DVD player into our our Yukon the other day?
Scott:For what?
Jamie:A DVD. We put a DVD we put a DVD into the there's a DVD player in the console.
Scott:Oh,
Jamie:yeah? And there's a screen in the back so
Scott:the
Jamie:kids can watch when they're in the back.
Scott:So what you put on?
Jamie:Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Scott:Oh, nice one. So good. So good. Sausage king
Jamie:of Chicago. Abe Roman. Abe Roman. The sausage king of Chicago. Yeah.
Scott:Yep. That's me. So you're telling me you're Abe Roman. Yep.
Jamie:That's me. That's me. Abe Froman
Scott:is Abe Froman is of Chicago. Wearing that fucking vest. That's right. Like a leopard print vest.
Jamie:What a I gotta tell you, what a phenomenal movie that was.
Scott:But let me just finish my quick
Jamie:thing. Phenomenal. Let me drag him outside, kick the shit out of him. Charlie Sheen.
Scott:Oh my god.
Jamie:James Garros Bueller.
Scott:I forgot he was in that. When we
Jamie:drag him outside, kicked the shit out of him.
Scott:That's so
Jamie:good. The daughter was in The dating arrested.
Scott:Or arrested. Or arrested. Arrested. Arrested.
Jamie:Or arrested. Well they were in
Scott:the police station together. Yeah.
Jamie:We dragged him outside, kicked the shit out
Scott:of him. It was so good. But the the dad in this, like, Instagram clip basically took the lawn mower and had his kids I saw that. Him, like He roll he rolled them over. I saw that.
Scott:I don't know what it was. I forget. But he mowed over all the kids' video games. Video games or DVDs? Or yeah.
Scott:Right. They were circular discs. Could've been both. Round UFOs. Yes.
Jamie:Yes. I know actually a hockey parent who who brought his kids Xbox or PlayStation outside, and I'm pretty sure he either sledgehammered it or, like Yeah.
Scott:But but here's here's my issue with that. This is this is coming from someone that
Jamie:Have you done anything like that?
Scott:Oh, I've come close. I've come very close. But I'm stuck.
Jamie:Gonna lie to you. I have broken one of my kid's sticks over the crossbar of our goal outside.
Scott:Oh, yeah? I
Jamie:have. It was a long time ago. It was a long time ago, actually. I have not done that since. Again, this is why we're doing this podcast, therapy.
Scott:I've wanted to.
Jamie:Crazy hockey dads therapy session.
Scott:But then it's just a matter of time before the kid turns around and starts smashing other shit.
Jamie:Well, again, you need to create you need to create you need to be a good role model
Scott:for your kid. And is smashing your kid's stuff a good thing good thing to show your kids?
Jamie:No. But you're but but but there's a discipline level. And the me breaking his hockey stick was not that.
Scott:What do mean a discipline level?
Jamie:Listen. I think that you need the the Eric Davis in the book
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:Where he threw his kids PlayStation into the
Scott:Makes it makes a much better argument for doing it. Listen.
Jamie:No. No. But I think no. No. I think you need to listen.
Jamie:You want your kids to grow up and then parent their kids the right way. Right? Again Sure. I don't think there's anything wrong with discipline. I I don't think there's anything wrong with with with with breaking your kid's PlayStation.
Jamie:If your kid is is not taking care of business, like, that's a luxury.
Scott:But why do you need to break it? Why not? No. Just take it away.
Jamie:Go no. It doesn't. There has to be but there has to
Scott:be Well, you need to drive the message home with fear?
Jamie:No. Not fear, but I think you need to drive the message home. That I think is important.
Scott:When he goes to play his PlayStation and it's not there, he'll get the point.
Jamie:But it's in a house.
Scott:Not necessarily.
Jamie:Give it away then.
Scott:But you don't have to break
Jamie:it. Give it to, like, goodwill. Or don't break it. I have no problem breaking it.
Scott:I mean, listen.
Jamie:I I don't mind the breaking apart. Again, you're driving home a point. Especially if there were clear lines like, you need to do your homework, and if you don't do your homework, you don't get this.
Scott:Okay. And I because
Jamie:you know what? You have to do your homework. Unfortunately, there's things that kids do. We talk about doing hard things. There's things that kids have to do in life.
Jamie:That's one of them. Respect your mother, respect your your father, respect your grandmother, respect right? You there's things you have to do whether you like them or not.
Scott:In life, we tell our kids that there are have to's and there are want to's. Right. And that's oftentimes the fork in the road when we're talking about either consequences or whether or not No question. Need it or gonna get it or whatever.
Jamie:No question.
Scott:But you know, like when you talk about breaking the the PlayStation. Mhmm. Listen, I've been on the verge. The verge
Jamie:I think we all. We've we've all been there.
Scott:And I'm to be honest, if I'm I'm nothing comes to mind but if I remembered something after this podcast, I'll share it next time. Right. But it's like no different than when your kid's not listening and then all then it gets to the point where do you not understand what the fuck I'm talking about? Like, you know and then it's like, oh, now I have your attention. Why?
Scott:Because I'm talking to you like an adult, I'm cursing and my voice is raised. Right. Like, why does it have to get to this point
Jamie:It should not have actually
Scott:stop what you're doing. Course,
Jamie:should not have to. Like, listen, kids are hard.
Scott:I know. Yes. I I get it. But I but I guess I'm empathizing perhaps is the right word with what you're saying in the breaking whatever. Yeah.
Scott:Because I Verbally, I often do the same thing to drive the point home. Right. And I use language and I talk to them like I wouldn't ordinarily just so they listen. Right. You know?
Scott:Yeah. So I get it. I get it.
Jamie:It's not easy. I I say all the time that raising children is the hardest thing that I've ever had to do and there's not even a close second. No? No. Being a good parent is what it takes effort to be a good parent.
Jamie:Like like like you could be
Scott:a effort.
Jamie:I think so. No. Like, it's it's hard to be a good parent. Like, really hard.
Scott:When I think about why the
Jamie:fuck I'm so exhausted. Effort to be a good parent. Like, I'm reading books about
Scott:it. Even to be a bad parent, it takes a lot of work. I don't know
Jamie:about on
Scott:your level of care.
Jamie:Well, listen. I mean, I've seen a lot of shitty parents. I'm not sure how much effort they put in. You know what I mean? So
Scott:so so It's relative.
Jamie:So again, so we're talk I have a story I have a story to tell.
Scott:To tell.
Jamie:So we're talking about being a good role model and how kids recognize how their parent is being. And listen, from the age of 10 or nine, I'm telling you, the the kid they realize stuff and they talk to their friends about stuff. So we we were in Massachusetts. So everybody remembers my our my buddy's breaking and entering story when he broke into the pro shop in Massachusetts.
Scott:Epic.
Jamie:So we were at that exact same rink.
Scott:Okay.
Jamie:Okay? And we had a game there. And then we had a game like,
Scott:I don't know,
Jamie:call it like twenty minutes away. Alright? So if you ever remembers a story, this rink where my buddy fell through the pro shop ceiling
Scott:Totally normal.
Jamie:Yeah. There was a restaurant right next door, shared a parking lot. Okay? Alright. So, you know, a bunch of people went over there and had some drinks.
Jamie:Okay? And I guess it was kind of like time to leave. We had a bunch of hour skills, so it was then it was time to leave to go to the other rink. Okay? So I happened to hop into this car with this one father.
Jamie:Okay? I knew this dad was a little bit of a knucklehead.
Scott:Okay.
Jamie:Right? But I didn't expect what happened. I did not what wound up happening was not what I thought was gonna happen. Okay. Dominic jumped in the car with somebody else.
Jamie:So I'm in the car with this one dad. And it's just like there's no kids in the car.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:And he into the he pulls out onto the road and gets onto the highway. And I and that's the time where I realized that he's really banged up.
Scott:You mean like shit faced?
Jamie:Yes. Like really banged up.
Scott:Oh shit.
Jamie:Yeah. Thank God there was traffic, Scott. So he couldn't go anywhere, like at any speed. You know what I mean? Like when we got onto the highway, I was reaching over and steering the car.
Jamie:I was reaching and grabbing the car.
Scott:No, you weren't. Yeah, was. Why the fuck did get him to pull over?
Jamie:I tried. Trust me, I tried. Okay? That's fucking crazy. Again, so we would have been in the divider.
Jamie:And it was just on an on ramp. It's not like we were going like 10 miles an hour.
Scott:What time of day is this? Midday. Fuck.
Jamie:It was midday. I didn't realize how banged up he was. So literally we crawled to like the next two exits, got off, and the rink was right there. Thank God the rink was right there. And I have to tell you, if I had to that over again, I would had him pull over.
Jamie:We weren't going anywhere, so I knew nothing was gonna happen. But if there was open road, that would have been a problem.
Scott:But then after the game, this guy's driving his kid home, Or someone take his keys?
Jamie:So it's funny you say that. After the game so then we went to the parking lot. We were having some drinks in the parking
Scott:lot. This
Jamie:this father does not know how to control himself.
Scott:Don't say.
Jamie:So yeah. So what wound up happening is I wound up driving his car back to the hotel. Yeah. So I'm in his car. Mhmm.
Jamie:We're pulled up to the front of the rink. Alright? And he's in the passenger seat, I'm in the driver's seat. His kid throws his bag and the back hatcher's open. Yeah.
Jamie:Kid throws his bag and jumps in. He's like, dad, why is is Dom's dad driving? Yeah. And I was like, you know, I thought maybe I would buy of these. I'm like, so dad, let me test drive it.
Scott:That was a good one.
Jamie:I tried. You know? So immediately, as soon as as soon as that was done being said, the dad starts, like, ripping into the kid.
Scott:No. Yeah.
Jamie:Terring into
Scott:With Dom in the car also?
Jamie:No. No. Dom was on the car.
Scott:It was just me,
Jamie:this father, and his kid.
Scott:Oh,
Jamie:shit. I was driving his car home.
Scott:How uncomfortable?
Jamie:Dominic was in the car with Nancy or or one of his teammates. Right? Yep. Uncomfortable does not even begin to describe the situation. So so I look at him and I go, this is not the time for
Scott:this. Right.
Jamie:Right? So we drove back to the hotel twenty minutes, whatever it was, you know, But the problem is, okay, is that I've heard this kid say this many times after this. He has said to his dad, I've heard him with his dad on the phone, He's like, dad, please don't drink tonight.
Scott:Oy. Dad, listen, that's
Jamie:It's bad. We talk about being a good role model for your child and your child knows. They know.
Scott:They know.
Jamie:I'm telling you they know.
Scott:Well, you know, so one of the things, ugh, you did that. I didn't see that coming. I didn't expect that to Dude. That's that's It's nuts. You know, I hope he gets helping.
Jamie:I literally was Whatever else. I held the wheel and I was like turning the car from the from the passenger seat so he wouldn't hit the wall just on the on ramp.
Scott:Well, here's like yeah. That that's an unfortunate situation, dude. And we talk about setting a good role model, being a good role model. That clearly that's not great. But let me ask you this one.
Scott:And this was one from, I don't know, maybe it was two years ago. The kids were probably like eight. Let's just say they were eight.
Jamie:Yeah.
Scott:And we're carpooling, we're going to a game, I don't know wherever, Pennsylvania. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, the the dad that was driving takes a look at the the clock Mhmm. And he tells his kid, hey, you know, buddy, it's it's 10:00.
Scott:Time to eat and drink.
Jamie:Right.
Scott:And I was like, what what do you mean it's time to eat? He goes, you need to eat like, basically he was on a a pregame meal regimen that included drinking some amount of water that was like, know, I forget what the quantity was. You gotta drink your so many ounces of water and you have to eat your banana and your this. And he was like pre so
Jamie:Is he pretty militant about doing it too?
Scott:Yeah. So the the dad the dad is a pretty Intense dude? He can be. Yeah. For sure.
Scott:And and I think he's he's also he takes care of himself fitness wise. He's regularly doing like
Jamie:So he's squared away.
Scott:Like, you know, what is it? That 75 hard challenge is part of his, like, repertoire.
Jamie:Alright. But he's pretty squared away, dude. Sounds like But what
Scott:yeah. Yeah. Here's here's my butt though. Again, like and it it all this is more of like an is this an age appropriate thing to have your kid being like that dialed in where I like at a certain time on the dot and the kid's like, I'm not hungry and it's like, no. Well, you need to eat it.
Scott:And the same parent I I know has would have their kid if they're not performing on the ice like after, you know, when they get home, get on the treadmill. Wow. Yeah. Now I'm Get on the treadmill. Get on the treadmill.
Scott:So these are these are like, you know, I don't know what the right word is. Like one is like coming across as a punishment but all of all of this is kind of guys in the idea of like, maybe not the latter part because that was seemed very punitive but you know, the dad uses I guess like what you might say like good habits like running or like eating. No, listen, think that's great. In ways
Jamie:that It's good to teach a kid physical fitness and to be disciplined. Disciplined.
Scott:I know, but is that level
Jamie:like an eight Well, yeah. That's the thing. The reason It's not all age appropriate. The reason why Dominic is coming to the gym with me now is because he asked me to go. Right.
Scott:And he's on the verge of puberty, if not there.
Jamie:No. He's starting. Yeah. You know? So he so there's there's testosterone so he can build muscle now.
Scott:Which also is not and I've started but No. No. The the going to the gym doesn't as a 12 year old doesn't mean like you have mean, you you talked about doing 13. Sorry. Oh, it's just his birthday.
Jamie:April. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he's 13 now.
Jamie:Yeah. Yeah.
Scott:You're not talking about doing like heavy squats. Clearly, were you were using dumbbells but Right. Like going to the gym Right. Like as a recreational thing to do with your family is not, you know, is totally fine.
Jamie:Yeah. Listen, I think it's great. We go we the four of us go. The four of us pile into the car and go to the gym. That's awesome.
Jamie:It's great. Yeah. It's it's it's awesome. It really is. And and and so Nancy and Luca go and they do like, I don't know, stair climbers and ellipticals and treadmills and
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:And Dom and I go lift. That's go do lift and core and stuff like that. Yeah. It's it's great. It really is.
Scott:Yeah.
Jamie:He's getting into it, like super into it.
Scott:That's great.
Jamie:Yeah. Which is really cool.
Scott:And for no other reason than it's just something like It's just great to have. That yeah. To develop For life. Right. Exactly.
Scott:Just for longevity Yeah. And, you know, developing these kind of habits. Yeah. Right.
Jamie:No doubt. You know? So so it's cool. You know? It really is.
Jamie:So I think being consistent and not waffling with your kids is important. I think providing them a stable environment is important. Listen, I'm learning as I go. I give myself a little bit of credit, not like I'm pumping my own tires, but I give myself credit because I have totally changed my mindset as to how I I listen, again, when the season starts, we'll see if that because because well, there's no pressure now. When the season starts, we'll see if that changes.
Jamie:But again, that three on three that he had two weeks ago Yeah. That I didn't say anything about, and I and I I didn't even have any animosity about it, Scott. Yeah. Which was nuts.
Scott:But you know what you know what's coming to my mind?
Jamie:So I'm happy for that to be happening.
Scott:What I'm
Jamie:So maybe this podcast is helping me.
Scott:No. For sure.
Jamie:And other people out there, hopefully.
Scott:Yeah. Right? What I was thinking of and is Dom went from an let's say, just like an an unfavorable environment Yeah. On one
Jamie:team Yeah. Situation. Then two
Scott:years ago. Yeah. Things have turned around. So the question My question for you is how much would you attribute, if any, your change in mindset to the sheer fact that Dom is, like, getting plenty of ice time. He's, like, the man.
Scott:He helped the league in scoring. Like, you don't with in the context of his team and his hockey Yeah. Like, he
Jamie:I'm sure it's helped.
Scott:He's not you know what I mean? Like, he could be let's just say he was on a triple a team this year. Yeah. And This is a hypothetical.
Jamie:Yeah. No.
Scott:No. But let's say he was on a triple a team this year. You know what? Like, okay. I did that, like, tier two for a year and served him well.
Scott:Now we're going back up to tier one. If you had made that decision and he's, like, now going, you know, let's say he's playing he's a fringe player now. And I'm not saying that he would be, but the Right. My question for you is if he was in a in a less favorable environment again Yeah. How much of this clearer, newer mindset kinda goes out the window just with the fact that you're back in a like a
Jamie:tougher You know, I don't know the answer to that. Yeah. I would I would like to hope that my mindset has changed enough to the point where even if we are in a tough spot again, that I'll realize that it's not forever, it's just, I don't call it a phase, a bump in the road call it, right? It's just kind of like a speed bump along the path that we're going here. It's gonna pass.
Jamie:Yeah. Right? And we need to take some positives away from it.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:And move on and change our environment. Yep. And know, look for instead of chasing letters, look for a good environment for your child to thrive in. And luckily, that's what we found last year.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:And his mindset seems to have been carrying over
Scott:Right.
Jamie:Right into he he wants to play now. He wants the season to start yesterday. He is chomping.
Scott:On the bed.
Jamie:Chomping to play. He's like, Dad, mid August is so far away.
Scott:Man, it'll be here before you know 100%.
Jamie:No question about it. So again, so on this Father's Day, I think it's really important for us dads to provide a stable environment for our kids in the house. You can discipline, but I think that stable environment is really important for you. Not only your kid's development as a hockey player, but as a person. Yep.
Jamie:You know? So I I thought that was an appropriate topic to talk about on Fox.
Scott:No. I agree.
Jamie:You
Scott:know? A 100% agree. I think stability, consistency Yeah. And in in terms of like a a quote unquote pressure cooker of an environment Yeah. Not being in that.
Scott:And I can speak now from experience also just seeing the little bit going from tier one to tier two this year. And I I I if if he had stayed on the tier one team, if we had made that decision to keep him there, I don't think I would I would have more anxiety You would. Right now than I do knowing that he's going like, have I have my my own concerns Yeah.
Jamie:Yeah. I gotcha. Regardless
Scott:of what team he's on, but I I I am anticipating that some of the difficulty that would have continued from last year to this year, like that's not that's not going to be a thing. Now could it be replaced with something new? Sure. Absolutely.
Jamie:But for the most part, it's probably not
Scott:going to. So because I'm already feeling somewhat more relieved, if that's the right way you know, or at ease is probably
Jamie:Yeah. No. That's yeah.
Scott:That's Because of that, I'm able to then think a bit more clearly. Good. My expectations, you know, I don't wanna say are lower, but the But they're dialed back a little bit. Different. Yeah.
Jamie:They're different.
Scott:Yeah. And because of that Yeah.
Jamie:Not a lot of pressure.
Scott:I feel like I'm able to be a better Good. Better hockey parent.
Jamie:I think that's probably true. I noticed that last year. I was a better hockey parent.
Scott:Right. You know? And and how much of that and if we take one step back and we talk about how our kids are being rolled you know, we're not only talking about our kids playing triple a or tier one or tier two. We're talking about our families being a tier one or tier two family.
Jamie:Right.
Scott:And I think that in our situate well, I'll speak for myself. Going from a tier one to tier two, I think that there's already a lower stress level which allows more positivity Agreed. Than if it was the other way around.
Jamie:Agreed.
Scott:And that could change, but that's what I'm anticipating.
Jamie:I I agree with
Scott:that.
Jamie:I think that's true. And as we kind of go along here, since we stepped up a level here, so next year is gonna be interesting to see how my hockey dadding goes. But I'm pretty comfortable with where I am right now, I have to tell
Scott:I would be too if I were you.
Jamie:Yeah. Yeah. I I think we're gonna be okay. Again, this podcast is helping me and you. Yeah.
Jamie:So hopefully it's helping a lot of other people. Like I said, crazy hockey dad's therapy session.
Scott:Oh, say what's up, Taiwan?
Jamie:Oh, yeah. That's right. I appreciate your reminding. Yeah. So so not only are we across the pond a couple times now, like Turkey, Netherlands, The U more UK downloads
Scott:More UK.
Jamie:All of a sudden coming out of nowhere. And all of a sudden, now we're in Taipei, Taiwan.
Scott:Don't know what hockey like
Jamie:I was just gonna say hockey in Taipei, Taiwan. Yeah. I guess. Sure.
Scott:Why
Jamie:not? Sounds awesome. Yeah. You wanna talk a little NHL before we wrap it up here, bud?
Scott:Do I wanna talk NHL? We can talk NHL. Sure. It's Yeah. It's
Jamie:So we are coming back to Florida
Scott:Back to Florida.
Jamie:For game six. Dominic's been squawking Florida in six for a while now. I didn't think it was gonna happen, but
Scott:It's hard to see it not happening. I mean So you got Stewart's going back in goal. Right? There's
Jamie:So funny you say that.
Scott:He's gotta go back
Jamie:in goal. There was they were talking today who's gonna be in net.
Scott:I think you gotta put Skinner back. I think so too. I think you have to.
Jamie:I think so too, but I don't I I if you remember me saying when we broke down the series before it started, I said that goaltending was a major difference between these two teams. Yep. When Bobrovski's on, the dude is so hard to beat.
Scott:Yeah. But, you know, I said this to Otto
Jamie:hard to beat.
Scott:When he was, like we were talking about the thumping that Edmonton got. And what what Florida's able to do to Edmonton cannot. They cannot do to Florida. No. No.
Scott:They can't. And and I think it's pretty clear who the better team is. No question. And you can't you can't discount the dry Seidl and McDavid effect. Like, they can do dry Seidl and McDavid like things.
Scott:Yes. They can. They can, you know, pick up the game by the scruff of its neck
Jamie:No question. And
Scott:make a change. But I mean, Florida is the better team. Up and down.
Jamie:They're they just have more depth. They have better goaltending. They have more depth. Like you said, dry, subtle, and McDavid are so good.
Scott:But But even McDavid, like, honestly, like, what what I've noticed about
Jamie:him scored last game, and he hit the post.
Scott:Right? Listen. I I we're talking about, like, arguably the greatest player to ever play the game. So, like
Jamie:And I hate it too because he's because he's not American. But
Scott:what I was gonna say is even watching him play, I he's he's so much of a playmaker first and he's like a pass first
Jamie:shoot Yeah.
Scott:Not even second.
Jamie:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Scott:He's like a pass pass maybe I'll shoot.
Jamie:Great. The guy's a rock star.
Scott:But like but part of what I'm saying is that like when he has the puck on it, like when they're playing even on the Mhmm. Less so the power play Yeah. But certainly five on five and then the ozone Yeah. If he's got the puck, I I I mean, it's a little predictable that he's not going to shoot. Like, he wound up for a clapper, like, in the high slot.
Jamie:Oh, I remember that. Shots.
Scott:And he
Jamie:it got knocked down in front of net or hit Lebrovsky like in the high chest. Hit him. Something like that. Know, like
Scott:a pass off pad.
Jamie:Dominic even said to me, he's dead. He's like, why did David wind Yeah. Send that
Scott:too. Look. That was unpredictable. I didn't expect that to is I would love to see him shoot the puck more, honestly.
Jamie:I mean, I don't know what he averages per game.
Scott:But What? Shots Yeah. Attempts?
Jamie:I would say he's gotta be 10.
Scott:I don't We should look into it because I don't think it doesn't feel like he shoots that much.
Jamie:Well, I gotta tell you. I think that Florida has been has been containing him the last couple games.
Scott:Well, that's awesome.
Jamie:Scored last game, and I know he hit the post. But I have to tell you and and I'm I'm pretty sure Florida had, like, three penalties early in that game.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:Like like, McDavid was on the ice a lot in scoring positions too. You know? Listen. They they had one. They hit the crossbar.
Jamie:Like, a lot of funky things happen, but Florida's a better hockey team.
Scott:No doubt. You know? I mean, I think that's, like, undeniable.
Jamie:Well, if they have more depth and and you know what's funny is you have, you know so you have, like, dry settle make gonna make 14,000,000. You're gonna have McDavid's gonna make 14,000,000. You know what's crazy about Florida? Nobody makes 14,000,000.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:Barcoff's 10. Ka chuck is 10. I think Seth Jones, I can't remember what his number was. It wasn't small, it wasn't huge. But my point is that they don't have those $14,000,000 guys.
Jamie:They just have a lot of really good players at like good contracts.
Scott:Right.
Jamie:You know what I mean? And I also have to tell you, and I know if you listened to Spit and Chicklets at all, but Bissonnette made an awesome point that I wasn't even thinking about. A $10,000,000 player in call it like Jack Hughes signs a $10,000,000 a year contract.
Scott:In Jersey.
Jamie:Right? Yeah. That same contract in Florida
Scott:Tax dollars.
Jamie:Is $8,000,000.
Scott:Yeah. No doubt.
Jamie:So they have more money to go spend on depth guys Yep. Because they don't pay a state tax. So places like Texas Mhmm. And Florida Mhmm. And I think Nevada.
Jamie:Yeah. Right?
Scott:Shocking that those teams are all great.
Jamie:Isn't it, though?
Scott:No. I mean, that's a that's a big draw for players to go down because the the The
Jamie:Lightning the Lightning have won a bunch of Stanley Cups. Now you're gonna get Florida probably going back to back.
Scott:Listen. You know where that converse
Jamie:I mean, there's something to be said there.
Scott:That that conversation comes up a lot with That's a real conversation. No. With European soccer, European football. Right. I'm sure country to country Yeah.
Scott:The tax laws are different. People Sure. If you're gonna go play in Paris versus London
Jamie:Good question.
Scott:Yeah. You know, the players are looking at those contracts and being like, what am I clearing after taxes?
Jamie:There's a reason Derek Jeter had a house in Tampa when he played for the New York Yankees. Right? I wonder what that And claimed to Florida residents. Right? I mean, he saved a truckload of money on taxes.
Jamie:But it's funny how teams like the Panthers, if you look at their structured salary, they don't have those massive contracts. So they can take that money that they save and they could sprinkle it over guys like, I don't know, Listerine and then Greer and Nosek. Right? They can get those guys. Whereas far as Edmonton, you're gonna have, you know, $30,000,000 wrapped up in two dudes, and you're probably gonna wind up giving Bouchard 10.
Jamie:So you're gonna have $40,000,000 wrapped up in three players. So That's a shitload of money in your cap.
Scott:But I do think there is something in I'm not I don't have the details correct, but I think it might have been on checklets also. Yeah. Biz was saying talking about the same same ideas in Canada where with the exchange rate, what it is, if they're getting paid in dollars and living in Canada Well, when you turn it into upside.
Jamie:Well, yeah. Yeah. When you turn it into USD, it's actually it's actually favorable. Right?
Scott:There's an upside. Yes. If you're getting paid in USD living in Canada Yes.
Jamie:Yes. Yes. Yes.
Scott:Yes. But then who is you know, I don't know. There there's complications and certainly not having income tax is is a helpful one. Huge.
Jamie:Yeah. Yeah. Game changer.
Scott:You know? So You know, look, the cap is put in place to make it a fair playing field.
Jamie:But these teams with no state taxes
Scott:Listen. This so there's no you know?
Jamie:You have more again, if Ka'Chuck's not making 12,000,000 and Barkov's not making 12, they're both making 10, that's $4,000,000 each. So they're getting paid, a $12,000,000 a year player
Scott:Mhmm.
Jamie:Because they live in Florida. Right. So you have $4,000,000 to go spend elsewhere.
Scott:They're Yeah. Right? Yes. It's huge. I think unless there's something that It's a monster difference.
Jamie:Yeah. I mean, you have that money to go spend on depth. Yeah. And look what's happening right now with with Edmonton and Florida. Edmonton doesn't have the depth to keep up with the Panthers.
Scott:No.
Jamie:I mean, then they have guys like alright. Sorry. Alright. So do you think it's over in six? I think it's over in six.
Jamie:I think they win
Scott:I I Tuesday
Jamie:night and it's over. Think Brad Marshand wins MVP of the Stanley Cup.
Scott:Oh, I I think he should. Oh my god. Remember last year McDavid won MVP and they didn't win the cup?
Jamie:Yeah. That doesn't make sense to me. I get it. He had a ridiculous he had a ridiculous final, but that doesn't make sense to me. And if you're the if you're the GM of or the upper management in the at the Boston Bruins, are you, like, hanging yourself right now watching Marchand do his thing?
Jamie:Go into a just about to win another Stanley Cup and probably be the finals MVP?
Scott:But, like, at the same
Jamie:What are they saying to themselves right now?
Scott:But but look. If if I'm sure if he could have done the same thing in Boston, he would have. If he could have, I I I he he probably would have. Why would you not wanna perform at this level? I think circumstantially, he's performing at
Jamie:this They were in a rebuild. I know Boston's in a rebuild. So I I I get it from that respect, but man. But look
Scott:at
Jamie:the
Scott:players he has around him. Like, he's on the third line. That's not exactly like
Jamie:Well, you know who's in front of him. Ka'Chuck I think it's Ka'Chuck and Reinhardt are from him. Well, that's
Scott:but that's my point. It's ridiculous. He's he's he's playing again on the third line. Listen. And he's like a first line player.
Jamie:Oh my god. It's ridiculous. Many teams. I bet you he resigns with them next year too.
Scott:I think he'd be crazy not to.
Jamie:And Seth Jones has another five years left on his deal.
Scott:That was a huge pickup for them. Both of them?
Jamie:Totally. Ridiculous. So so you think Florida's gonna win it tomorrow Tuesday?
Scott:That that's what I think. I will say this though. I I I do think anything can happen. And I'm not saying that from like in any given Sunday cliche. I I I will say that I I do believe that I almost said Winnipeg.
Scott:I do think Edmonton I think That's funny. Edmonton That's funny. They they they have they have the tools to to win another one. Right. But to to think that they're gonna win the next two is is really hard to imagine.
Jamie:Yeah. I don't think it's happening.
Scott:I don't think so.
Jamie:I don't think it's happening. I think Florida's too good. I just they they just have too much. Yeah. You know?
Scott:Well, we're gonna find
Jamie:out. That's for sure. It's gonna be interesting. Yep. Alright.
Jamie:So that's a wrap. I just wanna shout out to Kirk from Ontario. Thank you for responding to our questions. We'll we'll get we'll get back to that one on on the next episode. Kirk responded to our question about why Canadian players are so much more physical than than our US players.
Jamie:So we'll get into that on the next episode. Subscribe to our socials, YouTube, crazy hockey dads, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook. Am I missing one?
Scott:Yeah. Don't go to Twitter because it's not set up yet.
Jamie:It's up, but we haven't
Scott:done No. It is? We haven't posted anything.
Jamie:It's up.
Scott:We haven't
Jamie:posted yet.
Scott:Yeah. Alright. So go check it out.
Jamie:Yes. Yes. Lots of content. Yes. Go check it out.
Jamie:No. We're we're we're getting there.
Scott:We are. We're we're getting there.
Jamie:Yes. The downloads are coming fast and furious. That's awesome. No doubt. Yes.
Jamie:Listen. This is fun, bud.
Scott:That's right.
Jamie:Awesome. I will see you on the next episode, and thank you so much, everybody.
Scott:Appreciate it.
Jamie:Have good night. What's up? See you.
Scott:Thank you. Later. Peace. Hi.