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Faith and masculinity meet kingdom living to help Christian husbands rebuild their confidence and masculine strength, so they can enjoy attraction-filled and passionate marriages.
You want to live a life on fire and on mission.
You want to be filled with such conviction and drive that you stop caring about what ANYone thinks.
You want to face each day alive, authentic, and fully present in every moment: with your wife, kids, on the street, at the gym, at work.
You want to bring yourSELF to the table, and to stop bringing the watered-down, nice, what everyone wants version of you.
You want that self to be a man who is burning in passion for Jesus, unafraid to bring his kingdom to anyone in your path, no matter the cost.
You want to love the one in front of you without fear, without needing love back, and without reserve.
You want to experience God for real, to not just believe, but to KNOW that he’s got you and that he’ll show up on your behalf. That he’ll show up THROUGH you.
You want to get to the end of your race and say, “Yep…I gave it everything. Jesus, you know I’m all in.”
...And you want to know just how to get there.
Welcome to Man Warrior King. Congratulations. You are among the violent taking the kingdom by force. You are among the chosen, answering the call to rise above your self. You are in the forge being stripped down and strengthened—and you WILL rise stronger, solid, unshakeable.
You are a man. You are a warrior. You are a king.
Matt (00:00)
They tell us that there's about a 50 % divorce rate in the church. And from those marriages that stay married, there's another small percentage of those where the marriage is actually thriving. And I mean like thriving, happy, passionate, enjoying frequent fulfilling sex.
connected with each other having fun all of that
In all honesty, the numbers are not flattering.
And if you are one of those Christian husbands who feels like your marriage is less than what you dreamed it would be, then today I'm going to take you on a journey.
To look under some rocks you may not have thought to flip over looking for answers.
I'm gonna hand you a treasure map in this episode that's gonna take you to some destinations that you never considered were part of your marriage problems.
See, there's a very clear and yet surprising and rarely if ever talked about connection between
the way you treat your great commission mission from Jesus and the way you treat Holy Spirit power.
So a connection between those things and how your marriage is going. I know that's not what's often talked about, but it's what I'm going to talk about because most guys pray safe little prayers. God, if it's your will.
Maybe, kinda, sorta, if it doesn't trouble you too much.
And then those same guys wonder...
Why they feel weak and passive and bored in their family life, in their home life, in their personal life.
And this is true even if you are out there building business and you're making moves in your career and you're, and you're providing for your family. Even those guys I'm talking to because when you're succeeding in that way, there are thousands in those same shoes who still feel weak.
and passive and bored as soon as they leave their work, as soon as they come home, all of a sudden it's like the, this gaping void that they can get away from that they can ignore when they're succeeding in work and work and business and all that. But that gaping void becomes loud and obvious when you get home.
It's a surprising solution that you may not have ever seen or heard.
And when you act on what we're talking about in this episode,
You're going to start moving through your life like a warrior in every area because it's time to be done compartmentalizing. I'm this way at work. I'm this way at home. I'm this way at church. They all need to come together and to join into the warrior man that you were made to be.
and you're going to become bold in every area and it's going to show up in your home. It's going to show up in your marriage.
So let's get into it. One of the fastest ways to become a dangerous man of God.
and how your whole family is going to feel the difference.
Well, good afternoon and welcome to another episode of the Man Warrior King podcast. I'm your host, Matt Hallock. I'm the author of the DNA of a Man. I'm the founder of the Man Warrior King movement. I'm the creator of the Masculine Husband Transformation Program, and I have now taken dozens of men through a process of going from feeling unfulfilled, frustrated, and discouraged about
their walk with God about their own inner life and about how their marriage is going. I've taken them into a place of victory. Men who haven't had sex in years, wives pursuing them for sex now. Men who never heard God's voice now, hearing God's voice regularly. Men who are discouraged and feeling like they had become a failure, stepping into this place of knowing that they are sons and that they are honored and they are valued.
And if you are a man who feels like you've been walking on eggshells with your wife, you've been walking on eggshells in your home, you've been timid, afraid to speak your mind, afraid to own your desires with her. You've actually been believing this idea that maybe your desires are wrong and hers are right, whatever.
If that's you, then today we're gonna go, we're gonna take a back country road.
to get to this end goal of confidence and joy with your wife. Why do we want confidence and joy? Because those are the two most essential valuable qualities that you can have as a man that make her want you. Confidence is sexy and joy is sexy. Timidity and melancholy are not. And unfortunately, and I'll raise my hand to this,
Way too many of us men in church walk around timid and melancholy in our homes. And it's time we stopped that. So we're going to take a route to get to our destination that you may not have been expecting.
So let me tell you why I am qualified to talk to you about this surprising solution that nobody in church will tell you about.
Many of you know my story, but some of you don't.
So years ago...
decade ago.
My wife and I went through a massive transformation period in our marriage, been married for almost 20 years now and
we started off incredibly full of desire and soon into our marriage, our first daughter was born. Life happened. ⁓ my health was under massive attack.
During our engagement year, I had been hit with a very severe form of autoimmune arthritis that was quite honestly seeking to take my life. My wife would lay in bed rehearsing, just her mind racing ⁓ uncontrollably, not through her own choice, but she would find herself
rehearsing what she was going to say at my funeral because she was watching me a 20 early twenties. We got married when we were young. I was 21. She was 20. She was watching me this, this, you early twenties year old man had been six foot three weight, 165 pounds, height shrinking, weight shrinking even faster. ⁓ had gotten at my worst down to about a hundred pounds.
and excruciating pain, couldn't get out of bed and she was watching all of this. And that whole health battle season just absolutely took us through the wringer. We've had many doctors tell us how surprised they are that we're still together because they watch couples fall apart when serious health conditions come up, especially long-term chronic ones.
that happened early in a marriage. Often the other spouse is like, is what I signed up for.
So that was all going on. Birth of our first daughter was going on. In all of that, my emotions were out of whack completely. I was discouraged, depressed, you can name it. Whatever negative emotion you can think of. I was bitter, was angry, I was resentful.
I was humiliated, ashamed.
And on top of it all, was looking to my wife to make me feel okay about myself and about life. I was looking to her to alleviate my pain and I was expecting her to be attracted to me when
Even in like, even if I was going to have a body under attack, my emotions weren't attractive in any way. And we fought all the time. We were we were. A very difficult place.
Matt (10:00)
If you've been feeling frustrated about your progress as a man and like there's a disconnect between your inside world and the outside world. And it feels like, yeah, you might be doing all this stuff out there, but the, the real thriving that goes on on the inside, real true, happiness, joy, just flowing in confidence. It feels like that stuff is hard to come by. I want to encourage you to pick up my book, the DNA of a man.
it's going to take you through three parts, becoming a man of identity, a man of principle, and a man on mission. And this book is not your average Christian men's book that gives you all these different qualities that a good Christian man is supposed to have. And you do these things and those things and all that. This book is actually designed to help you resurrect on the inside. And especially if you've been feeling the disconnect and the pain in your marriage, because you feel like you're losing your wife's attraction and respect.
This book is going to have the answers for you. because quite often your marriage problem is actually rooted in your identity. And so I've had hundreds of men contact me and tell me, Matt, this book changed my life. Matt, this book is saving my marriage. Matt, this book actually prevented me from taking my own life. I've had people tell me that.
It's not your average churchy book. does not take you through a steps of dos and don'ts. It takes you through a process of coming alive because you see yourself the way God sees you and it's better than you've ever thought.
So click the link, tap the link in the description, head over and pick up your copy. And by the way, if it speaks to you, would you leave a review for me on Amazon? I would love it. I'd appreciate it. Bless you. Go pick it up. Join the 12, 13, 14,000 other men who've read it as well. And let your life never be the same.
Matt (11:55)
And in during that time, I was carrying this belief system that's very common that you might have yourself. Much of the church does. Many men are actually hindered by this mindset that we inherit.
from the pulpit.
And I'm not here to bash, but I am here as one who has been a Christian my entire life and who has invested thousands of hours of my life in serving the body of Christ.
I am speaking as one who loves the church and yet sees where we have inherited traditions of men and called it God. And we're doing the very same mistake Jesus told the Pharisees.
So there's this mindset that I had been carrying and that you might very well be carrying, which is this.
that if something is going wrong in your life, and for me it was sickness, okay? And God hasn't taken it away. He must have a reason for you to go through it. He must have a plan. And so we end up
believing that God can do miracles. I hear people all the time. Yes, of course God can do that.
But we have zero faith regardless because faith isn't believing that God can. It reminds me of the scripture where Paul, like Paul writes that,
You believe that Jesus exists or something. And he says like, great, even the demons, you know, believe that. So it doesn't matter if I believe God can heal and do a miracle. What matters is where do I go from there? Do I believe that he will? Do I believe that I have the ability
to bring a miracle into this world.
Or is it only God reaching out his fingers, zapping the earth with miracle power to do a thing whenever he decides to do it? See, now we're getting into some territory where there's a lot of heated debate.
So I had this mentality that because I was in such deep, deep, horrible pain and sickness that this must have been God's will for my life. And it made me very discouraged and depressed and bitter towards him. Cause this is a horrible way for a father to treat his son.
and
At one point, I decided to look up everything I could find in scripture about healing and sickness and health and disease and every, all those key words. looked up every verse I could find. And the testimony of scripture is quite clear. When you look at all the verses, God doesn't bring sickness to his children. God doesn't use sickness as a tool for his children for their good.
You won't find verses that say that. Instead, you find verses that say He heals all of our diseases, that Jesus bore our sicknesses and carried our infirmities. Verses that say these signs will follow those who believe they'll lay their hands on the sick and they will recover.
Jesus who said, I give you authority over all diseases and all infirmity.
You also said, the works that I do, you see those, but you're going to do greater works.
I saw these verses and I realized God doesn't actually have me sick. He doesn't want me sick. This was not, you know, the plan that he wrote into my life. This is evil. This is an attack and he wants me well. And when I made that mental shift, my depression, my discouragement, my bitterness began to fade. Even though my body didn't,
miraculously quickly recover.
And in fact, I still deal with the health issue today. I've never been bedridden ever since those days. I've never gone back to being completely incapacitated since those days. And I never will. But I still deal with it. I don't want to pretend, put out some kind of false image and a lie or anything like that. No, I deal with it. It's real life.
But when I began to see that it opened my eyes to some different things too. And there are
There is a large portion of the modern Christian church today that is completely shut off to the idea that you and I have the authority given to us by Jesus himself.
to work miracles in the earth. And as I say it, I said it that way on purpose rather than just saying to pray for miracles. I said it that way on purpose where I said, you and I have the authority to work miracles because of this. Of course, anybody would say, yeah, you can pray for a miracle, but do you believe that you were given the, the obligation by God?
to bring miracles to people's life. And I'm talking real miracles. I'm broken bodies getting put back together in front of your very eyes.
And when we get into miracles, that brings up the whole other realm of delivering prophetic words. It brings up the realm of kicking demons out of people. It brings all that up.
because here's the thing. Let's, let's, let's step back over into marriage for a moment. You're tired of feeling like you're walking on eggshells with your wife, maybe. Okay. You're tired of feeling like you're always guilty about what you think and about what you feel about what you want.
Maybe you're tired of feeling like she's more in the lead than you are. You're tired of feeling like you vacated your place of leadership and she has stepped in and it's caused distance and coldness that nobody can really articulate.
Well, I want to offer something to you.
you can hardly expect.
to become the type of attractive, confident, joy-filled, assertive, bold, risk-taking husband that you know your wife would be attracted to if you are immersed in a version of faith that tells you you're not allowed to take bold, assertive action. You're not allowed
to speak with authority and with confidence. You're not allowed to even say that you work miracles.
because that's all sacrilegious. That's all you get in glory for only the things that God can do. And besides, you're not even allowed to bring healing to people because that was for a day long ago.
If you are ascribing to a version of the faith that tells you everything that's going on is God's plan for your life, it tells you.
Praying for healing over somebody is something you shouldn't do because what if it doesn't happen and then they're left feeling disappointed and let down or praying for healing for somebody is something you shouldn't do because it's not even for us anymore today.
And you don't actually have the authority to do that. You don't have the authority to speak a prophetic word over someone or over your own life. You don't have the authority to look at a disease and tell it to leave a person's body or to look at a broken bone and tell it to be made right. Unless you hear specifically from God to do it. And even then you may not, you probably won't hear from God to do it. We, we have
a flavor in our faith today that forces us into inaction because there's this idea that God is the only one.
who can do anything good.
Right?
Because isn't your heart deceitfully wicked?
Aren't your right? Isn't your righteousness only as good as filthy rags?
Right? That's what we're told. And we have this whole like notion of total depravity.
And if you're totally depraved, then why would you assume that you have anything to offer people in need with broken bodies and a world that's broken that needs miracles?
And you look at the book of Acts and you, and you see the story of Peter walking. I think it's by the temple and there's the guy who can't walk and he's asking for, for money. And Peter says, I don't have any gold or silver right now, but here's the thing I do have. Get up and walk. See Peter's like, yeah, I've got something for you, but we don't, we're not allowed to think that way anymore. No, I don't have anything for you.
I don't have any kind of good I can offer you. That's only him. That's it. Only God, not me. Don't even, don't even look at me. I don't even want, I don't want any of that attention.
So we, we've been sold a lie, whether on accident or on purpose. That's not what I'm here to decide, but we've been sold a lie.
that miracles are no longer for today. And even if they are, all we can do is pray polite little prayers and tack on if it's your will at the end of it.
There's no storming the gates of hell.
All it is is a polite little knock on our dad's office door.
when he told us to come boldly into the throne room. In fact, he told us we already sit there with him, ruling with him.
And if we rule with him, then we get the power to make decrees and see those decrees come about.
First time I ever prayed for somebody to be healed. I was sitting in a coffee shop when I used to live in California and I was meeting a student there who was a high school student as I was a private tutor and I was meeting him to work on some math stuff and he walks in and he sat down at the table where I was and he said, Matt, I don't know that I'm going to be able to focus on math today.
I said, why, what's, what's the matter? And he said, well, I just came from basketball practice and I was going up for a rebound and somebody else was coming back down from their jump and their elbow came down right at the top of my head. ⁓ and I, and I went to the ground and he said, like, I, I've had a concussion before. This is it. I have another one now. I know what it feels like. he said that he was nauseous. His vision was blurry. He had a splitting headache and he was kind of dizzy.
So yeah, it didn't sound like he was in much shape to work on math at all. And I'd never prayed for anybody like this before. had been, I had been discovering what I had told you about previously. I had been seeing that healing is for me to, to carry. Healing is, is something that Jesus has asked me to bring to the people around me. And so I was beginning to believe that for my own self and for other people. And I had made this decision, you know, well, if sickness is
not supposed to be in me and it's not from God, then Satan, I'm going to make you regret the day you ever touched me. And I'm going to, I'm going to steal broken bodies out of your hand. And so, uh, I was sitting there with this student, never had done it before. And I was scared. I scared. I, I didn't have a moment when God suddenly touched me and
made me filled with tingles and, and electricity and heat and all that, where I was like feeling the healing power coursing through my hands. I didn't have, you know, a moment of somebody laying hands on me and I got knocked out in the spirit and taken to heaven and blah, blah, blah. And God himself tells me in the presence of all these angels flying around that I don't know, I'm to go heal people. There nothing.
nature in any way. And I'm not knocking any of that. I believe in it and I would love it, but I didn't have it. I had a revelation of what was written in his word.
and I had a desire to see it happen.
And so I had all this fear, man, if I try this, he's probably going to go tell his parents and they're going to fire me. And I'm never going to talk to him again because this is embarrassing, especially because it's probably not going to happen. Right. had all, all of this, these objections in my mind, but I had a question.
What kind of man do I want to be?
Do y'all want to be the kind of man who believes a certain thing, but comes up with all kinds of reasons why not me? Why I won't do this or why I won't see it.
Hint, that's what a lot of the church does.
Or did I want to be the kind of man who sees a simple word from his father?
and acts on what I say I believe.
And so in that moment, I took the risk and I said, Hey, this is going to sound crazy, but I would like to pray for you to be healed.
And so I did, I prayed for him. right there on that table in the coffee shop. And it was short and sweet. didn't reach, I didn't like touch him or anything. didn't, I just put my hand basically like this and kept it short and people around probably didn't notice any different. And I finished and I said, all right, do you feel anything? And he said, no, it's kind of what I expected.
But I asked him, okay, well, can I try again? Cause I'd also been watching some different people teach on how to pray for healing. I, and I, they talked about, you know, trying a few times if you don't see it happen. I was like, well, okay, here it goes. So I tried again and I said, all right, do you feel anything now? And he said, yeah, that second time you prayed for me, it felt like a cold liquid was pouring into my head and kind of filling it up.
And then as you finished praying, I could feel it draining out. And as it drained out, it was taking all the symptoms with it. Like it was like, he was like, I don't, I don't have any of them anymore. I'm fine. I don't feel nauseous. My vision's fine. I don't have the headache. Not dizzy. He's like, I feel good enough to do math. And he was like, thank you. Thank you. And I was shocked. I was so excited. I went home that
day and I told my wife and my daughters like, you'll never believe what just happened. Cause we were both kind of exploring this together, even though our marriage was not in a fantastic place that we still saw eye to eye on all these things. And we both had never been raised with an awareness of how to pray for healing and how to do these, like take authority over these things. And, and, but we wanted it.
And so I did it, I came home, I shared the story.
Even though we were dealing with significant disconnect.
So let me pause for a moment.
before I round out that story. Let's get into...
how this is relevant now to you. Let's, want to articulate the problem in more clear terms than in just the story of mine.
The problem is that we have a passive faith in modern church culture.
See, church has trained us.
to be safe, polite, all around good guys. It has not trained us to be warriors.
How is this? Well, that whole notion like, no, don't give me any credit for anything.
Don't look at me if I do something good. It was not me. I'm no good at that. It's only all glory to God. Okay. I understand. Yes. Glory to God. However,
You can have some glory too. I hear the gasps everywhere.
Go ahead and gasp. And then when you're done, I'll remind you that in John chapter 17, Jesus literally says, father, the glory you gave to me, I have given to them.
Hmm.
Yeah, but I don't want to take any credit because I don't want people to think that it's me. want them to see God. Okay. Except Jesus also literally said in Matthew chapter five,
Let your, let your good works be seen before men so that they may see your good works.
and then glorify your father who is in heaven. He doesn't say, careful.
You don't have any good works to do, but when you're kind of around for when God does them, just be really careful that no one thinks they were your good works. So that way God gets glory. No, he said, let men see your good works. Don't hide them. Don't explain them away. Don't apologize for them. Don't be timid about.
Own them. Yeah, I did that.
I commanded a healing for this young man's concussion and it went away.
And he says, because when they see your good works, they will glorify God. doesn't say they will.
Now can that happen? Sure. Any good thing can get corrupted. Okay?
But we are, we are trained.
to remove ourselves from the equation.
We are trained to only politely ask God if we could possibly trouble Him to maybe do a little thing that we'd love to see, but we probably won't, but we'd love to see it if it's your will.
And we wonder why we never see answers.
so we get trained.
to just kind of hunker down and hold on and watch and see if God does anything rather than take initiative and see a problem and solve it.
And so our prayers are vague. They are low risk. And they never test our faith.
but you weren't designed for this. You were designed to be dangerous for the kingdom of heaven. You were designed to break down the gates that hell has set up and to pummel right through them as you're advancing and pushing back the darkness in people's lives.
and you're taking more and more ground.
You are the hands and feet of Jesus. You are his body. If you don't do it, he can't. No, how could you say that? He could do anything. He's God. I know. But he has chosen to make you his body. He could undo the whole setup if he wanted to. But within the setup that he has chosen,
to partner with you and I, us being his body, as long as that's the way it is, that he's the head, we are the body, the head can't go anywhere unless the body moves it.
The head can't punch the enemy in the nose.
unless the arm is there getting moved. So in the current setup, Him the head, you the body, He can't go bring His kingdom all over the world without you and me, His church, being active, proactive, bold participants in the process.
that my friends, that, that passive faith, that weak, nice guy kind of faith, it's not who you and I were made to be. Timothy, the book of Timothy tells us that God hasn't given us a spirit of fear, but he's given us one of power, one of love and of a sound mind. So you and I,
are called?
go forward in power. You carry power. You have power. You are a powerful man. I am a powerful man. And again, I can hear all the screeches from pews all over the world. What? Only God is powerful. No, not true and not biblical.
Jesus said, when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, you will receive power from on high. didn't say, when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, he will teach you how to talk to God about God's power getting used. He didn't say that. He could have, but he said, when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, you will receive power, meaning
Reach out and take it. If you have taken it and you, and now you have this power.
Isn't it okay to say you're a powerful man?
He also said, I hate to say it, but he said in the gospels that he gave you authority over all diseases. He gave you authority to trample on serpents and scorpions. So, so now you're a powerful man who also has authority.
But when you are told and trained to not see yourself that way and not work miracles in the lives of the people around you.
then you are also conditioned into passivity as a husband.
into insecurity as a husband, low confidence, low self-worth, because what good can I offer?
See, your marriage is very likely the, it could actually be the single biggest blaring piece of evidence that something about your mental approach to life is off, even though the, the, the church world around you is telling you it's okay. And it's right.
Would God have handed you a faith that if you follow it correctly,
It'll turn your wife off?
yet that's what has happened to thousands of men. We want to be good Christians, but it has made us distasteful lovers. has made us ⁓ irritating, annoying, ⁓ boy men that our wives feel like they have to
not blaming the church as like it's, know, don't be a part of the church, but yes, I am saying we collectively have gotten bad beliefs. We have learned wrong things and it has caused your marriage and your children to suffer.
but if this is all too uncomfortable, then go ahead and keep doing it the same way because
Well, you're going to get the same results.
But if you're uncomfortable with the results you've gotten, then maybe it's time to change the way you've been thinking.
So how or why, whatever, do miracles create in you this masculine boldness that's going to radically transform your marriage and your wife is going to feel it? How does this happen?
Well, one way is risk.
stepping out and actually praying boldly for healing without tacking on God if it's your will, but just saying in the name of Jesus be healed right now and then checking it right then and there to see if it actually worked. Yeah, it's super risky because it may not happen and you might feel like an idiot and you might wonder, what are they going to think of me? So this is incredibly good practice for breaking out of your fear of what
people think of you and your fear of what she thinks of you.
It can be difficult to break out of that fear of what she thinks of you. So if you build the muscle with other people first, you're giving yourself an advantage that's going to make it a little bit easier when it comes to breaking out of the fear of her.
Because I'll tell you what, fear of your wife is not attractive to her. I don't care what sitcoms tell you. I don't care what pastors joke about on Sunday mornings. It's not attractive. And she ain't going to want it.
So, so beginning to engage in a lifestyle of risk.
will help you to stop being the hovering puppy dog where you're just always trying to please her and you could become your own man again.
The second way that praying for miracles will forge a masculine boldness in you is confrontation.
So when you command sickness to leave, are literally confronting head on the darkness that has tried to take a hold of somebody's life.
And you're no longer just sitting there observing it and be like, Oh man, that sucks for them. You're no longer avoiding it because there's nothing you can do about it. And so it's just more comfortable. If you don't think about it, you don't go around it because you feel bad.
It's passivity.
So you're starting to build the muscle of confrontation.
and battle.
And you, and then here's what happens when you get home and you start to see metaphorical disease in your marriage and you start to see where it's not healthy and the dynamic between you and her isn't healthy. And maybe you see even some of the ways that she's treating you aren't healthy rather than you just assuming, maybe, okay. Like, I don't know. There's anything I can do about it. I'm just going to keep waiting.
for God to see what he does. No, you actually, you actually learned to confront it head on because wait a second. I just saw, I just saw an injured shoulder get its mobility back.
That felt impossible. Well, maybe, maybe there's something I need to do in my marriage to see it get its mobility back. Maybe this isn't so impossible.
and you start to get filled.
with the third reason why this produces masculine boldness, which is confidence. Because when you believe in Jesus and you see in scripture all these things about working miracles and there's a part of you, can't get out of this, there's a part of you that believes that that's true, that we're supposed to see miracles. There's a part of you that believes that Jesus actually
told us to do this. But then but then that little part of you gets all buried by everything from the outside saying now now now now now let's think about this rationally. Let's let's be real here now that was for then like so that part of you that wants it to be real that wants to live that life of adventure and epic awesomeness. It gets smothered.
by the traditions you've been taught.
When that happens, you're and you and you just let that thing die. You're training yourself that the things I believe aren't actually worth acting upon.
and it's something that I should shy away from.
rather than just go for it in strength and fire and boldness. That's what you're teaching yourself. And so as a husband, you carry in that same dynamic, that part of you that thinks, think we should, I want, think there's more in our sex life. I think there's more passion that's available somehow. I think there's more frequency that's available somehow. But then you get told all these things.
Well, attraction just fades as you get older. know, she's, women don't really need it anyway. She's never going to be that into it. And, and it just, that fire dies.
And you have thoughts about certain decisions, but now you're trained to just put the water on the fire yourself. You have thoughts about, don't like the way this is going. I want to actually do something different, but you put the water on that fire yourself because your faith has been training you to put water on the fire all along.
So when you stop putting the water on the fire, you start to, you start to like believe in your own beliefs. You start to have faith in your own opinions. You start to think, I think what I think is good.
and you start to believe you can do something about stuff.
The fourth way this makes you into a masculine, bold man is with responsibility.
When you pray for others to be healed, you actually take responsibility for their wellbeing. You choose, I'll carry their weight on my shoulders. You're not putting it off on God. You're not avoiding it. You're saying, nah, I'll be the solution. You don't hide from it anymore.
And that bleeds over into how you lead your marriage and your home. ⁓ I'll be the solution.
There's a problem. I will fix it. may not know how, but man, if I can see broken bodies get put back together, I can fix this.
Well, let's go back to my story. My wife and I not connected or trying, but it's really labored. And I pray for this kid to be healed and it happens. Now here's, here's what happened for me that I also didn't mention a second ago. Even though my marriage was in tough shape.
And even though I was in a whole other humiliating portion of life living at my mom's house without any ability to care for my family, it's humiliating when you're a grown man and you have to live at your mom's house because you can't do it. And I'm thankful to my mom, by the way, for making that space for us. But it, it was not ideal as a man of a wife and a daughter and two daughters and
now three but.
What happened was even though I had all these things to be ashamed of and humiliated about.
I did this. I was bold. I took a risk. And it started putting confidence back into me.
And rather than just putting a lid on my self and all of life because I'm just humiliated and I'm, I'm a loser anyway. I actually started letting the lid off. Even though my home life wasn't fantastic. My wife is incredible. She, she stayed with me through thick and thin, absolutely incredible. But we were, we had a hard time. So when I say my home life wasn't fantastic, I'm.
I don't want that to sound like, yeah, she was horrible. She wasn't. We were both trying really hard.
and we were missing it, but we were trying really hard. I'm thankful we did. I have a woman that is unparalleled.
She is incredible.
If I had a lesser woman, I may not be here talking about how to fix your marriage.
Because I owe so much to her. So much.
But I started getting confident again. And I started treating myself like I had something of value to offer, even though I didn't feel like it. And God showed up and he validated that. Yeah, man, you do have something to offer. Look at what you're doing to these people. I know you don't have, you're not perfect at home. You don't have to be in order for me to see you and to use you and to be proud of you.
And man, when I started getting that going on the inside, it radically began to change how I felt in my home and how I felt with my wife. And when I, when I had this confidence beginning to build, I could be a very, very different husband.
so I could speak up more clearly. I could stop avoiding hard conversations or I don't know that I ever avoided them, I show up in hard conversations differently with more poise.
And I could go out and take initiative on behalf of my family, be proactive in changing our lives rather than sitting back and just waiting for a miracle to come to me.
initiated things more.
led more decisions.
I learned how to hold a line with my wife in ways where I needed to rather than just happy wife, happy life-ing it all the time.
If you need help with any of this, by the way, in the show notes, there's a link for getting on my calendar to have a discussion about one on one coaching with me. If you do that, the value is massive. You're going to see yourself change in all kinds of ways. Marriages get put back together. Sex starts getting had again. Men hear from God, men work miracles, ⁓ and you get closer to God than you ever have.
just humbled and blown away by the results that I've seen working with guys. So you can get on my calendar and have a call. We can talk about working together one-on-one.
But whether you do that or not, I want to challenge you to pray for someone to be healed this week, stranger or friend, I don't care.
And you're not going to ask if it's your will, you're going to say, the name of Jesus, be healed. Talk to the thing.
Every time you step out like that, you are becoming the man you are always meant to be. Every time is another step towards the you that you already are.
So if this is spoken to you, will you drop in the comments, yeah, this hit me. And will you tell me in the comments what miracle you've prayed for or are going to pray for, what healing you're going to seek?
Look at my other videos, I respond to all kinds of comments.
And if you want another episode on how to not be the nice guy in your marriage, the timid, hovering puppy dog.
then the ⁓ video somewhere is going to be on that one. Alright? Until next time, brothers. Peace.