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You’re tired.
Not just physically; though yeah, that too.
You’re tired in your bones. In your soul.
Trying to be a steady husband, an intentional dad, a man of God… but deep down, you feel like you’re falling short. Like you’re carrying more than you know how to hold.
Dad Tired is a podcast for men who are ready to stop pretending and start healing.
Not with self-help tips or religious platitudes, but by anchoring their lives in something (and Someone) stronger.
Hosted by Jerrad Lopes, a husband, dad of four, and fellow struggler, this show is a weekly invitation to find rest for your soul, clarity for your calling, and the courage to lead your family well.
Through honest stories, biblical truth, and deep conversations you’ll be reminded:
You’re not alone. You’re not too far gone. And the man you want to be is only found in Jesus.
This isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about coming home.
Alright man, we're session five of wilderness stuff. Thinking about wilderness, thinking about when life gets hard, how do we navigate, what is God doing? Where is God? These are all really important themes and stuff that early church really. Thought a lot about the kind of motif or the, the theme of wilderness in the life of a believer.
So far, we've acknowledged that the spirit of the Lord leads the believer to the wilderness, to, to sift, to, to challenge, to purify, and to reveal himself to us. And so wilderness is a part of God's plan and we need to learn to navigate it. When I think about the wilderness, one of my favorite stories from history are, um, kind of little.
Images to, to ponder is the the hour in Dietrich Bonhoeffer's life where he's put into prison. He's in prison for two years during World War ii. If you don't know much about Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Eric MCT book on Bonhoeffer is like a bestseller and it really is a page turner. If you get your hands on that, you can't put it down, but you can get like his letters and papers from prison.
It's are really interesting to read because it's kind of everything that he processed while he was sitting in prison. Just a little bit of historical context, quick. He was a pastor and a theologian during World War ii. Resisted kind of the Nazi regime, participated in a plot to overthrow Hitler that comes out.
He's arrested and eventually he's put to death after two years of imprisonment, like two weeks before the World World War II ends. And so his life's really interesting, but again, that period of imprisonment, he was engaged in that period and really excited about getting married, which never came to pass, and really struggled with fear, worrying about his family and I.
What was life gonna come to? Because it was pretty clear that there was a good chance he was gonna be put to death for his participation in resisting Hitler. Well anyway, in his letters and papers from prison, um, you can find this, this poem that he wrote called, who Am I? And I've thought about it a lot.
I think it's really interesting because he's really wrestling with identity and who he is in this season, and in the poem he is talking about the fact that. Other people would say that he's courageous. Other people say he's bold. Other people say he's a man of valor, but he feels like a man of fear and he feels thirsty and he feels restless.
And so then he kind of settles in, like, but I don't know. Who am I? Um, anyway, I wanted to read it to you because I know that's what you come here for is to hear me read poetry. But anyway, I really do come back to this poem every couple years and uh, it's helped me. So I wanted to share it with you. This is what he said.
Who am I? They often tell me I step for myselves confinement calmly, cheerfully, firmly like a squire from his country house. Who am I? They often tell me, I used to speak to my warders freely and friendly and clearly as though it reminded the command. Who am I? They also tell me I bore the days of misfortune, equitably, smilingly, proudly like one accustomed to win.
Am I then really that which other men tell of, or am I only what of myself? Know of myself, restless, longing, and sick like a bird in a cage. Struggling for breath as though hands were compressing my throat. Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds. Thirsting for words of kindness. For n neighborliness.
Tossing at expectations of great events. Powerlessly trembling for friends that had infinite distance, weary empty at praying, at thinking, at making faint and ready to say farewell to it all. Who am I, this or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow or another? Am I both at once a hypocrite before others and before myself, a contemptible, woe, beon weakling or something within me still like a beaten army fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved.
Who am I? They mock me these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am thou know is still God. I am thine. I love this like he's saying again, that people say, I'm like a squire strolling out of his country house whenever I leave my prison cell. People say that I speak as a person who's really used to winning.
People say that I am confident, proud. Then he says, but I feel like a bird in a cage, like someone's hands are around my neck. I feel thirsty for the words of a friend. I feel tired of praying and tired of writing. He's saying, they say, look how bold Bonhoeffer is, and I feel. Empty and thirsty and tired.
Then he says, but who am I? Am I what they say I am or am I what? I feel like I am? And then he just settles with, I don't know. Whatever I am, I'm God's. I just belong to God. And that is actually a really solid place to settle in the wilderness where you stop wrestling so much with Who am I? Who am I? What am I made for?
What am I after? What is my purpose? And you start to go whatever that is. Firstly. I belong to God. Firstly, I'm his possession. Firstly, I'm his beloved. And so when I start to get to the wilderness and I start to wrestle with who am I? Who am I? Who am I? One of the first things I need to do is to stop and to start going, who are you?
God? Because my identity has to rest on, on who God is, because at my core, I'm just his beloved. I'm just his possession. I'm just his son. And so. I wanted to look at the burning bush experience with you, Moses' burning bush experiments because one of the first thing God does for Moses is he doesn't tell Moses right away what Moses' calling is.
Of course, Moses is gonna be a prophet. He is gonna deliver Israel. He is gonna do all those things. But the first thing God says to Moses is, I am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Now let me just stir your memory so you can kind of get on, get on board with me here. Moses was obviously raised in the Pharaoh's house and was highly educated and, but he spent 40 years, uh, in the wilderness shepherding, uh, in Midian.
Matthew Henry said this, this was a poor employment for a man of his parts and education, yet he rests satisfied with it and thus learns meekness and contentment to a high degree. Which he is more celebrated in sacred writ than for all his other learning. In other words, Matthew Henry was saying he was really educated, he was really gifted.
He should have been a politician, or he should have at least been some kind of businessman. But instead, he's just a lowly shepherd. Yet he becomes content with that, and scripture has more to say about his humility than his intellect. That's really interesting. Anyway, he's been in the wilderness for 40 years when he has his burning bush experience.
Exodus chapter three, verse two through five. He looked, he being Moses, he looked and behold the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed. And Moses said, I will turn aside to see this great site, why the bush is not burned. When the word saw that he turned aside to see God called him out of the, God called to him out of the bush.
Moses. Moses. And he said, here I am. Then he said, do not come near. Take your sandals off your feet for the place in which you're standing is holy ground. And he said, I'm the God of your father. The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. Moses hid his face where he was afraid to look at God many.
Um, kind of like the Desert Fathers play with these themes. Uh, a pastor that I really love talks about this a lot, the idea of turning aside. And so what we see is Moses in the wilderness for 40 years, kind of mundanely shepherding sheep, and then one day he sees a bush caught on fire that's not being consumed, and the scripture says that he turned aside.
Now the implication of the text is that when God saw him turn aside, then God spoke up and God said, Moses, Moses. And the idea is kind of, if it feels like God's waiting to see, is Moses going to bite? Like, like God's inviting Moses into a conversation and waiting to see if Moses will give him his attention.
And Moses does. He turns aside to look to see in the emphasis of the text again, is he turns aside. And then God says, Moses, Moses, CS Lewis says this. We may ignore, but we can nowhere evade the presence of God. The world is crowded with him. The world is crowded with him. He walks everywhere. Incognito. C Lewis is saying that you can ignore God, but you can't evade God.
He's always with his presences near. I really like Brother Lawrence's book on called Practicing the Presence of God. If you never read that one, it's a short little read and you should get it. And really the whole emphasis of the book is Brother Lawrence is kinda a dishwasher monk, and he's talking about and trying to teach this idea that we can commune with God constantly, and that's the some extent.
The goal of the believer is to fellowship with God daily, often. And Brother Lawrence said this, think often on God by day, by night, and your business, even in your diversions. He is always near you and with you. Leave him not alone. He's always near you and with you, leave him not. Alone. So the idea here is that Moses going through the mundane, sees something strange and wonders to himself, maybe this is God.
And as a believer, especially in wilderness sees, especially when you're tired, when you're frustrated, when you're empty, you've got to learn to have ears that are sensitive to hear the voice of God. And you've gotta learn to become a person that frequently turns aside. Turns aside from your shepherding turns, aside from your mundane work, turns aside from your social media and your phone calls and your emails, you leave all that over there and you turn aside just to see if maybe God's prompting you right now, maybe God's speaking to you.
So Lewis says you can ignore him, but you couldn't evade him. And Brother Lawrence says, he's always near you. I suggest you leave him not alone. So some believers learn to be people who common oftenly, who frequently. Turn aside. The first thing we stumble into when we consider the idea of Moses' burning bush experience in the wilderness is that we need to become people who are quick to pause and to ponder.
Is God speaking to me right now? Is God, is the nudging in my spirit that the kind of, do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and you have this thought, should I, does God want me to pray right now? Or I see the scripture on my desk and I, I had this inkling to read it like, I need to respon. Maybe God is speaking.
Maybe this is God calling me to commune with him. You need to be quick to turn aside first thing, be quick to turn aside. Then God says, Moses, take your shoes off for where you're standing is holy ground. Second thing is we need to learn to turn aside with reverence. Okay, so the idea of taking your shoes off is.
When you wear your shoes all day, your sandals all day, they're dusty with kind of the mess of the world. And a shepherd would, you know, step in stuff obviously. And so when you take your shoes off, you're, you're kind of saying, I don't want to carry all of my mess into this encounter, into this holy space.
The person I'm meeting with here is so much higher than me, is so much more lofty and grand than me that I don't wanna carry my kind of calm mud into that. So taking your shoes off in your daily practical life might be like, I'm leaving my cell phone behind. Or I'm, I'm turning off the music, I'm, I'm not, not carrying in my thing.
I'm not distracted. I'm, I'm giving you my full attention. And when I give you my full attention, I'm coming with a fear of the Lord. And a reverence and a adoration reverence is largely about a holy adoration. And as modern believers, we just don't do adoration. Adoration is like in the quiet, just, just pouring your love on God.
And so I like to try to like. Develop this like sit before God and just, Lord, you're lovely, you're wonderful. And you start to kinda have to explore all the human and language to try to express to God how beautiful he is to me. And but you see this in the Psalms and you see this throughout the scriptures, this idea of just adoring him.
And so taking your shoes off is coming with a reverence and then adoring a God who is so much holier and grander than I learn to turn aside quickly. And when you turn aside, don't. Turn aside with your cell phone and all your stuff, and all your shallow thinking and fleshly mindsets, but turn aside with the acknowledgement that the one I'm meeting with is so superior to, to any anyone else I'm gonna encounter today and, and come with your full attention.
Okay? So when Moses turns aside and God sees that he turns aside, he calls out Moses, Moses. One, take off your shoes for where you're standing as holy ground. And two, this is really interesting. The first thing God does is God reveals himself. Now, when we get to the wilderness, we start going, God, who am I?
Bonhoeffer? Who am I? What am I here for? God, I'm tired. God, I'm exhausted. God, I'm frustrated. What did you make before? Is all of this pointless? Is all of this meaningless? And the first thing sometimes God wants to say to us is, is has nothing to do with our call. He's, of course, yes, he's going to tell Moses.
You're gonna be my prophet. You're gonna be the deliverer. You're gonna lead Israel out of Egypt into the Promised Land. God is going to use Moses. Yes. The first thing God says to Moses is not Moses. This is who you are, but is I am the God of Abraham, the I God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. I am the God of your fathers.
I am the God of the promise and I am the promise keeper. And so part of what we need to do is to. To kind of tame that question, who am I? Who am I? Who am I? And, and they will allow the question, who is God? And who is God to me to supersede that before I start wrestling with who am I? What am I called to?
I settle all my fears and settle all of my anxieties in this. Who are you? And if you are the God of scripture who is sovereign above all things, and if you are the God of scripture who loves me infinitely, and if you are the God who. Like a lamb goes to the slaughter. It opens not your mouth to wear upon yourself.
My chastisement. By your stripes I'm healed. If you're the God that loves me with that kind of wonderful and faithful love, steadfast love, that endures forever. If you are that God's identity begins to wash all of my fears and all of my anxieties, and I'm able to say with Bonhoeffer, I don't really know who I am.
I just know. I'm your beloved and I belong to you, and I'm your possession and I'm your prize. And that's good. Okay. I'm good with that. Before my identity, my, my personal call is fully unraveled before my eyes. I firstly just know I'm yours, I'm just yours. Everything else can, can wait and God's gonna reveal to you in time what he's called you to do, what to put your hands to what the next job is or what the next purpose.
He's gonna reveal all of that in time. Firstly, I would let your brain just be satisfied in good theology, that the God who is faithful and true and just an omni, benevolent, infinitely good loves me and has revealed himself to me. That's enough. That's enough. Alright, so practical tips here. You're in the wilderness and how do we think about Moses's?
Burning Bush experience again, like the early Desert Fathers thought about this son when they thought about wilderness one, you wanna become a person who's quick to turn aside. Okay? Turning aside and turning aside with reverence. So what I wanna suggest is you've gotta have some time of solitude without the cell phone.
You've gotta learn to like some, sometimes we like always walk with music in our ears and there's always something going. You gotta learn to be alone and to be in the silence with God, just to be with God. And sometimes that makes modern believers really uncomfortable because we're so used to being busy.
And even when they're in our devotional patterns, in our devotional life, we always have a checklist of, I'm gonna read this and I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. And there's definitely some wisdom in having a checklist, but there are moments in hours where you need to learn to just be with God. And so I wanna encourage you a couple times this week, more than once, two, three times, go on a walk with no music.
Just be with Jesus. Just, just turn aside and, and let him speak, and he'll encourage your heart, and scriptures will come to your mind, or you'll have, maybe you'll see something in creation that'll remind you of his, his greatness. Like, just, just, just be with him. Just, just let him kind of speak and, and, and come with reverence, right?
Come with adoration, come acknowledging that this meeting. This encounter isn't, is not common and casual. He's so much higher and greater. And so come, come with adoration. Tell him as you walk alone, just tell him for a moment, man, you're beautiful. You're so good. The cross is, is profoundly meaningful in my life.
God, I'm so thankful I owe everything I have to you. You are wonderful. Just let your heart exp spill adoration come with reverence. So the, the third thing there is let your mind. All of its fear and all of its frustration be silenced just with good theology. And so partially what we want to do is develop a, a Bible plan, uh, develop a Bible reading pattern.
And again, I use the, the McShane is the one that I've used for probably 10 years, and I really enjoy, uh, I wanna encourage you, like, read the scriptures and read it with the question, who is God? Who is God? And so like, maybe go to Romans eight. And think about the cross and think about God's infinite love and his purpose and who Jesus is.
And just allow God to reveal himself to you and to stop with all the, who am I? Who am I? Who am I? And, and what can I say at 53 for a while? And just think about the lamb. By his stripes, I'm healed. He wears my chastisement like a, like a lamb to the slaughter. He doesn't open his mouth. He submits to death.
Just, just for a while, just do theology. Think about God's attributes. And so I wanna encourage you again to do a couple things this week. Get alone. One, just get alone in the quiet. Two, at some point, adore God. Take five minutes, just adore him. And three, maybe sit before Isaiah 53, maybe, uh, sit in Romans eight.
Maybe sit. I like to sit sometimes on like Revelation four. Open up the scripture and just, just look at it and just ask the question, who are you? God, who are you? Not? Who am I and what am I made for? But who do I? Who is this God I serve and who loves me? And allow God's character, his beauty, to just wash over all your fears and anxieties.
Who am I? Bonhoeffer says, whoever I am, I'm yours. I'm yours. Alright man, hope that encourages you guys this week. I'll be back with you next week and love you, man. Reach out to me, socials, email, whatever, if I can do anything for you. I'd be glad to chat. Alright man. God bless you.