You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast

In today's episode, you'll hear from Daniel De Jesús, the director of programs at Forerunner Mentoring. Daniel shares some of the struggles he faced growing up in NW Chicago and how a mentor stepped into his life.

Show Notes

Episode: 7

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

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SHOW NOTES

Creators and Guests

Host
Zachary Garza
Founder of Forerunner Mentoring & You Can Mentor // Father to the Fatherless // Author

What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?

You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.

We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.

Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.

Speaker 1:

You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor. Hey, everybody. I'm Caroline, and we are so glad that you guys are back for another episode of You Can Mentor.

Speaker 1:

I'm here with my co host, Stephen Murray.

Speaker 2:

Hello, everyone.

Speaker 1:

And our wonderful guest today, our very own Daniel de Jesus. Hey,

Speaker 3:

Daniel. Hello.

Speaker 2:

The man, the myth, the legend.

Speaker 3:

I'm excited. It's gonna be awesome.

Speaker 1:

Good. We are so excited that you are here and so thankful that you would choose to kind of flip roles for this one and Yes. Be the interviewee instead of the interviewer.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I'm not nervous at all. It's it's so funny. No. That's a lie.

Speaker 3:

That's a complete lie.

Speaker 2:

Just about as nervous as you were when you put together that furniture earlier this week.

Speaker 3:

Yes. I did. I tackled the chair. Oh, okay. Cash put together the same chair this week.

Speaker 2:

And yeah. That took you, like, what, 2 days?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Just about. Well

Speaker 1:

It took me a solid 2 days.

Speaker 3:

There were some hard hard parts about that journey with the chair, but we we came out victorious. So

Speaker 1:

We did.

Speaker 2:

Amen. We did. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Well, cool. Well, before we dive into the podcast what?

Speaker 2:

Oh, cool.

Speaker 1:

Before we dive into the podcast, I'm just gonna tell us a little bit about who Daniel is and why he's here. So Daniel has spent the last 12 years in children's ministry, most recently as the elementary pastor at Bent Tree Bible, which is located here in Dallas. He's also collaborated with leading organizations such as the Mentoring Project, in order to help rewrite the story of the fatherless generation, as well as Orange as a blogger, resource specialist, and host for events like the Orange Conference and Camp Kid Jam. Daniel holds a master of arts in ministerial leadership from Wesley Seminary and loves getting to go on daddy daughter dates with his girls, reading and teaching dance in his spare time.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

Before we dive into Daniel's story, we just want to, remind everyone real quick that this podcast, is meant as a tool and a resource for current and potential mentors of kids from hard places. And we know that everybody's story matters and has purpose. And so when we get to listen to people like Daniel, and hear about their story, we learn from their experience and learn from the people that they have had in their lives as well. We want to help you take your next step in mentoring, so feel free to check out our show notes in our website, youcanmentor.com. Well, Daniel De Jesus.

Speaker 2:

Hey.

Speaker 1:

Our very own. We are so excited and would just love to hear a little bit about your backstory

Speaker 3:

and

Speaker 1:

where you came from and a little bit of your family dynamic just kind of painting the picture of how you grew up.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Absolutely. Well, first of all, thank you guys for having me. I'm excited to to be here and to be able to share my story. Well, so basically I was born and raised in Chicago, on the northwest side of the city.

Speaker 3:

Anybody been to Chicago before?

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

Anyone here? Yeah? Mhmm.

Speaker 2:

Yeah? Barely the airport. No.

Speaker 3:

Where'd you go? Steven.

Speaker 1:

I went to the Bean Nice. Obviously.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

It was in a blizzard and I was trying out for The Voice. So I went to an auditorium.

Speaker 3:

You tried out for The Voice?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, guys.

Speaker 3:

Oh my gosh. Can we have a whole other podcast about that? Yes. That would be amazing.

Speaker 1:

That was all. I went to the auditorium and the men.

Speaker 3:

That's very

Speaker 2:

Hey. I have had, like, one of those 3 inch pizzas, so I've totally been to Chicago.

Speaker 3:

Yes. Deep deep deep dish pizza.

Speaker 2:

Coming back to me now.

Speaker 3:

It's a big deal. Yes. Well, yes, I love love Chicago. I'm very proud to be from from the city. Go Bulls.

Speaker 3:

Go Bears. I don't care about sports at all, but I do care about those teams. So I think just by by nature of being from there. But, yeah, I grew up kinda not too far from downtown. Grew up on a really busy street, Chicago Avenue, so it was definitely, like, the epitome of city living, very loud.

Speaker 3:

Chicago Avenue is like a 4 lane street, and I grew up in a little apartment, like, right in front of it. So, yeah, so that was just kind of my life. We're a second gen I'm a second generation Hispanic. We're Puerto Rican and Mexican, so, naturally, we're very family oriented, amazing food all the time. My mom's the 3rd oldest of 8, so she is an amazing cook and, always just was known for taking care of everybody.

Speaker 3:

I've got 2 siblings. There were lots and lots of cousins around all the time, and so there was definitely a lot of love in my family, and I've definitely had that that sense of community and that sense of of love there. But definitely in that, like, kind of strange, like, angry Chicagoan. Like, if you're familiar if you if you were there, like, you may have felt it. There's, like, this mild abrasiveness that people have there that I honestly didn't notice until I moved to Texas rough year.

Speaker 3:

We're like laughing

Speaker 2:

and you're like nervous laughing.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

So, but that's just that's just kinda how it is. So as far as my family makeup, my parents, my parents divorced when I was a baby, and I was raised mostly by my mom and my stepdad. And like I said, there was a lot of love, and I know that they loved me and my brother and my sister unconditionally. I never doubted that, but I also think that there were definitely some challenges, kinda like with with every family. You know, I I truly believe that my my mom, my stepdad, all the adults in my in my world did the very best that they could with the tools that they had been given, you know, and so, I honor and I I respect them for that.

Speaker 3:

But there there are definitely challenges when it came to alcohol. Alcohol has played and continues to play a really big role in my family dynamic. It's been an issue for a lot of folks in my family. And when I think about it, alcoholism and the effects of it have definitely sort of placed a wedge between me and, especially the men in my family, where, there just wasn't a lot of trust that was able to be built because of the effects of it. So, for a lot of my childhood, I remember a lot of fighting.

Speaker 3:

There was a lot of screaming, the police showing up. There was a lot of bullying happening in school and out of school, at home because I definitely wasn't, like, your all American typical boy. I was very sensitive, and I like to draw, and I like to read and dance. And so for me, I definitely struggled with, again, like, not necessarily feeling unloved, but definitely not feeling accepted by my family and the people around me. And so when I was younger, I think I sort of took on the role of, like, the helper, the peacemaker.

Speaker 3:

My mom and dad, they worked full time. So me and my brother were latchkey kids, and, we were on our own a lot. There were not a lot of boundaries in place. And so I kinda just did whatever I could to kinda stay out of the way and distract myself from the hard stuff. Later on in my teens, when things weren't getting better at home, I definitely got a bit harder.

Speaker 3:

I got angrier. I rebelled. I, witnessed and experienced several forms of abuse. I struggled with thoughts of suicide, with addiction, and I sort of jumped around from group to group in high school trying to find a place to belong. So, like, at one point, I would try to be more like my brother.

Speaker 3:

And so I'd be, like, wanna be into hip hop and and baggy clothes. I remember, like, my first day of my freshman year of high school, and he was a senior. And I just I thought he was so awesome and cool, and I just thought, like, okay, I need to be like him to fit in. And so I just raided his closet. I and on the first day of my freshman year of high school, I went to school in, like, this ginormous, like, oversized, like, brown polo shirt with, like, this ridiculous pattern on it and, like, white wide leg jeans.

Speaker 3:

So I was just, like, drowning in his clothes. But, like, when I think about it now, like, that's how badly I wanted to fit in, or I I just I thought that I needed to, you know, do that to in order to feel accepted. So Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Like, that's funny that you felt like you needed to fit in to be seen, which Yes. Doesn't really make much sense on the outside. But to you, it's like, I want

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Like, whatever I thought was gonna get me attention or make me look like I, was Cool. Normal. Yeah. Really normal.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. It's kinda what I was looking for. But I kinda changed from year to year. So, like, that was kinda my 1st year then. I thought that in order to fit in, I needed to, like, be more goth, and so I, like, wore all black and I went to raves and I, like, wore, like, the glow bracelets and listened to Marilyn Manson, like, and studied witchcraft, like, like, legit.

Speaker 1:

You like dove all the way in?

Speaker 3:

I dove I would dive all the way in every time.

Speaker 2:

Mhmm. Did you do, like, the orb thing? Like, where they, like, dance with the orb?

Speaker 3:

No. I didn't do that. But I definitely bought a lot of candles and, like, like, incantations and spells and, like, really tried to go all into that. Yeah. For sure.

Speaker 3:

And then the next year, it totally changed. I wanted to be, like, in the artsy crowd, and so I became a photographer with the yearbook staff, and I did theater and dance. And so, yeah. I mean, I was literally changing my identity, all throughout high school, just kind of trying to figure out who I was. So, in a nutshell, I think I'd yeah, I'd spent a lot of my adolescent years just kind of searching for belonging and searching for people to tell me who I was because I had no idea.

Speaker 3:

And I was convinced that something was wrong with me because I wasn't like any of the other guys, any of the any any of the other men in my family, and and they constantly reminded me of that. And so, so, consequently, I experimented with a a lot of different identities.

Speaker 2:

How is your family responding to all of this experimentation? Like, how how is that affecting your relationship with your mom versus your dad? All of those things? Like, can you share a little more about those dynamics?

Speaker 3:

No. That's that's a good question. I'm not sure I've thought a whole lot about that. I think but the first thing that kinda comes to mind is, I don't think that they noticed very much, and I think some of that was just sort of the the the dynamic of our family, very busy. Everybody is always working, like, super focused on on work and just paying bills, and you know?

Speaker 3:

And I do remember specifically some things, especially in my high school years, doing certain things just to get attention from them or just to see if they would notice, and so this is kinda heartbreaking. I'm not sure if this will make the podcast. But I just I I remember, like, during my sophomore year when I was really struggling with, like, suicidal thoughts, and I was cutting. And, and and I honestly like, if I'm honest, like, the cutting was really about, attention. Like, I was sad, and I and I did think of suicide a lot, but, at the back of my mind, I knew I wouldn't, like, go super far with it, but I did cut enough so that you could see scars, you know, and, I do remember, like, specifically, like, walking around my like, downstairs, like, walking around the kitchen, like, around my mom and around my family, like, you know, with, like, without a shirt one day or just obviously exposing my my my arms to see if anybody would notice, and they didn't.

Speaker 3:

And, and I do remember having, like, a a good conversation with my mom a few years later while I was in college and just sharing that with her, you know, and and that was really heartbreaking for her because, you know, she recognized just how bad it it had gotten and, how busy we were as a as a family. Yeah. And, but yeah. So I think in general, like, maybe part of why I was changing so much, was because it didn't feel like anything was sticking, and nothing felt right to me. I wasn't getting any responses from the people around me necessarily that I thought that I was looking for.

Speaker 3:

So but, yeah, that that was definitely the the dynamic.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Daniel, you're walking through all these issues that you just shared, alcoholism in your family, thoughts of suicide, addiction, witchcraft, all under this pursuit of feeling known, seen, like you know who you are and like you fit in somewhere, which I I'd love to see you in JNCOs one one day

Speaker 3:

but Definitely had a few.

Speaker 2:

Is that not Yes. Have you decided that's not who you are?

Speaker 3:

I have, for sure. We have yep. We have stepped past the good news. Yes.

Speaker 2:

Living or growing up in a Hispanic family, was faith like a dynamic? Or when did when did relationship with Jesus become kind of, like, real to you? Yeah. Like, continue the story.

Speaker 3:

For sure. Yeah. That's great. Faith was definitely not a part of our family dynamic growing up. I didn't ever hear about God or Jesus as a child.

Speaker 3:

At least growing up in Chicago, there was 1 year where we were sent to live with my grandmother, who was a really strong believer. She's amazing. And we we lived with her, and she started taking my brother and I to church every Sunday when we lived with her. And that was kind of my first introduction to church, to faith, to to Jesus. She would pray with us every single night.

Speaker 3:

She would oh my gosh. I didn't think I was gonna talk about her. Sorry. So she would pray with us every night. She would sing, sing little worship songs with us every night.

Speaker 3:

I would sing in the little choir, but that was just for a year. But but that that was sort of my first introduction to faith. And and then we moved back to Chicago, and and it was kind of absent again, and I kind of forgot a lot of it. But I definitely believe that the Lord planted a seed in me that year. I was, like, 5.

Speaker 3:

I remember I celebrated my 6th birthday there. But for the rest of my kind of adolescence, faith was not a part of the conversation. But that is but faith was kind of the thing that helped turn everything around for me. And so, things started to change really change my freshman year of college. The year before or the Christmas before, I'd become a Christian.

Speaker 3:

I gave my life to Christ. I, was invited to church by a beautiful girl who obviously, like, that had a lot to do with me going to church and becoming a Christian. Right? But but God really used that that that experience to really change things for me. The gospel I'd never heard the gospel.

Speaker 3:

I'd never heard what Jesus had done. And when I think about it, it really was, I think, it was knowing and learning and believing that Jesus accepted me for who I was. And, you know, with me searching for that for so long, and for belonging and even just experiencing the body of Christ and walking into that little church for the first time and just overwhelmingly sensing this love and this acceptance for the first time, like, that was it for me. And so thank thank God, like, that was the last of my identities that I put on. You know?

Speaker 3:

Like, I I was immediately sort of, brought into this community, and, and I didn't turn back. It was, like, a complete 180. Wow. And so, so I I accepted Christ my first Sunday. I was baptized the next Sunday.

Speaker 3:

And then, you you know, I was in this relationship with an amazing girl who was a believer, and we immediately went off to college together. And that very first week of college, we were at, like, a a worship night for, like, the big Christian campus fellowship that was there, called Chi Alpha, and, they're a really big deal and, in a lot of college campuses. And and, yeah, that it was that was my first week, and so I immediately jumped into, fellowship with these with these folks. And, I remember there was definitely, like, all the upperclassmen working on getting the freshmen plugged in and into small groups. And so almost immediately, like, that first, you know, night that I visited, I was introduced to my very first small group leader.

Speaker 3:

His name was Josh Olsen. Josh was the beginning of this journey that the Lord would would take me on. When I first met Josh, it's funny. I don't even remember anything that he said. I just remember how he made me feel, you know, and I actually think about, like, there's a really amazing quote by Maya Angelou that says something to the tune of people may not always remember what you do, they may not remember what you say, but they'll always remember how you made them feel.

Speaker 3:

And we would honestly we would we would, connect that to kids ministry a lot because I believe the same thing is true of kids. And and so I think of Josh in a lot of ways, in that same regard that, you know, I don't remember what he said to me when I first connect with him and somebody just introduced him to me as my small group leader. I just remember him looking me directly in my eyes when he spoke to me and just shaking my hand and just being like, hey. I'm Josh. I'm so glad that you're gonna be a part of my group.

Speaker 3:

This is gonna be awesome. And there was just there was a kindness in his eyes, and, yeah, just something about his which now I know it was just like the spirit of god. Right? I mean, there was just something about him, though, that was that made me feel so accepted and, like, I belonged on that, in that group. And what's funny too is that, like, there was also nothing remotely cool about Josh.

Speaker 3:

Like, he was just, like, this skinny, lanky white guy and

Speaker 2:

Sorry, Josh. You're listening.

Speaker 3:

And, you know, and so which but but I think about that again and just realize that for mentors, like, you don't have to look a certain way. You don't have to act a certain way. You don't have to talk a certain way. Trust that the spirit of God is gonna do the work. Right?

Speaker 3:

And and that's gonna what gets across to people. Yeah. And that's kinda how how it was with with Josh. And I just remember that year that he was just I remember him leading our small group of freshman guys just, like, with this gentleness and this humility, but he was also strong and wise, and, honestly, I'd never ever met a man like that. I'd always believed that men were supposed to be this, like, force of presence and just loud and abrasive and demand respect, but Josh showed me a completely different kind of man.

Speaker 3:

He showed me a different kind of of strength, and there was strength in his gentleness, in his kindness, in his in his humility. And, honestly, I think it it gave me for the first time, it gave me hope for the kind of man that I could be.

Speaker 1:

We talk a lot about, the 3 a's that are important in mentoring, and we believe that, people who are being mentored, deserve attention, affirmation, and need to be accepted. And so how did Josh kind of fulfill those needs, or reveal those things to you? How did how did it make you feel that you were being accepted by him? Just kind of fill us in on what he did or maybe didn't do, or didn't realize he was doing that even made you feel that way.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Yeah. He, kinda like I said before, as far as, like, attention goes, I just the the most, or the most powerful thing that he did was was look me in the eyes. I I just remember that so distinctly, that he was when we spoke, he looked me in the eyes, and he was genuinely interested in me as a person and not necessarily anything that I felt like I could offer. You know, I'd been a Christian for less than a year when we met, and so I didn't know anything about the Bible, what it meant to follow God.

Speaker 3:

But he was just extremely patient with me and just loved me, through all my questions and all my insecurities. And, you know, I also remember just in terms of, like, the way that he made me feel kind of important, he would call me de Jesus, which there are other Daniels in our small group and so many Daniels in the world in general. Right? But my last name is De Jesus. And so I just every I just remember distinctly every time I walked into a room, he'd go De Jesus.

Speaker 3:

Oh, man. And and I just you know, it's so small and, like, insignificant, but I just remember that just being something that, again, just made me feel, like, set apart and made me feel kinda special and valued. Yeah. And and even that too, like, I I also remember that he was the 1st person to ever call me a man of God. Woah.

Speaker 3:

And for me, like, that was everything because I think, again, my whole life, I struggled with what is a man, and if a man is what I, experienced growing up and singing, like, if that's what a man is, like, I'm not sure if that's who I am and what I am. So am I a man? Like, masculinity was always such a big question mark and not knowing kinda where I fit in that spectrum. And Josh calling me a man of God and being so emphatic about it, and, that that really blew my mind, you know. And and he would, you know, and he would joke, like, your last name is De Jesus.

Speaker 3:

Like, of course, you're a man of God. Like, it's in your name. Like, how you know. But, yeah, that was, again, like, kinda small, but

Speaker 2:

not small.

Speaker 3:

Like Like,

Speaker 2:

he didn't know he was affirming your manhood

Speaker 3:

Right.

Speaker 2:

When he said that.

Speaker 3:

Right. Yeah. Absolutely. That's amazing. Mhmm.

Speaker 3:

And he was also the first guy to tell me that, like, my ability to dance could be used for, like, the glory of God. You know? That because I think I'd always seen my my artistic ability and, like, my dance as something that was non masculine and that I kinda felt ashamed about of, but at the same time, just loved, and I couldn't help it. And, and he was just like in in fact, him and all the guys in my small group just all thought that it was, like, the best thing ever. And it was that was super affirming.

Speaker 3:

And I ended up going on my very first mission trip with them, to Argentina, and dance was a really big part of that trip in evangelism and that we used, you know, we used it as a tool for evangelism down there. And, and I don't think I would have ever dreamed that that was even a possibility had Josh and that honestly, in that group of guys just not, affirmed that in me to say, like, God gave you these gifts and these passions, and they're great, and they can totally be used for, you know, to advance his kingdom. And and all of that was just brand new to me. Like so that was a really big deal.

Speaker 1:

Just your whole identity being, I mean, spoken into. You know? Yeah. The the truth of who you are as Daniel was being, really rebuilt. You know?

Speaker 1:

And just by this one guy and this group of guys.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

And just by calling out the truth of who you are and by, addressing the things that were important to you and the the passions that you had and not taking that lightly or blowing it off, but affirming those things and choosing choosing to dive in with you. You know?

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

I just think that is so big in, like, affirming who someone is, but not just doing it because you wanna say the right thing, but but really seeing seeing someone and calling the truth of who they are out.

Speaker 3:

Right. Yeah. And like you said, like, he didn't he didn't even know what he was like, he didn't know the power in what he was saying. You know? He didn't really know the full the my full backstory or what I had struggled with or what my insecurities were necessarily.

Speaker 3:

You know? He just, you know, I think he just, I think, he just he did what you do when you speak value over someone or you want to encourage someone or just to be a good a good friend, a good mentor. You know? And so it wasn't, you know, it wasn't, like, a complicated thing. You know?

Speaker 3:

I'm honestly thinking about all this for the first time right now, but I think that my whole life, I was, you know, changing up who I was and changing my identity because I figured that people would only ever engage with me based on what they saw on the outside. And the difference with Josh was that that didn't matter. My outside didn't matter. Like, he immediately was only interested in who I was as a person and and my own heart. You know?

Speaker 3:

And, and no one had ever done that, or at least no one that, that I respected or felt like truly cared about me as a person.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Wow. You mentioned Josh didn't know your backstory, where you came from, but, like, you still received all of these things from him. I'm sure a lot of mentors think it can kind of be like, I want to know the backstory so that I can best help you. Like, what would you say to a mentor who is kind of, I guess, struggling in that place of, like, like, I I have a lack of information.

Speaker 2:

Like, I can't get this out of my kid. I don't know their story from, like, their perspective.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Like, what encouragement would you give?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. I think if you don't know the full scope of their story, I think it's as simple as spending time with them and and just asking really simple questions just to kinda get a sense of what they like and what they don't like. And and, honestly, just, like, watching them, watching their body language, or even just what you might know about their skills and abilities, you know, and just taking the whatever information you do have about them and just going a step further with it and and going a little bit deeper in order to pull out what you feel like, might be those really specific gifts or talents that God has planted in them. You know? And you could also be wrong, and I also and I think that that's okay.

Speaker 3:

You know? I think that sometimes a lot of kids, from hard places don't have anyone speaking anything into them, and or asking them any questions about who they are and what they like and what they don't like. And so even that conversation is gonna be so important for them to have because they're just being engaged. Like, we have to remember that, like, sometimes kids aren't even engaged with these kinds of questions or or they might be used to not having anyone take any interest in them, or make them feel like, like a human being. I think it's it's that simple.

Speaker 3:

You know? It's just it's taking it a a step further and and trying to dig a little bit deeper in order to discover what those gifts might be. And then once you think you know what what they are, just call them out, you know, and just say, man, I think you're really good at that, or I think you should try more of that.

Speaker 2:

So, Daniel, you're a kid from a hard place, and yet when a mentor came into your life and spoke identity, looked you in the eyes, affirmed your manhood, accepted you for who you were, your life changed. And now, I mean, the the Daniel that I know is a children's pastor who's doing the same thing Josh was doing in your life, but you're doing it in hundreds of kids' lives. And and just the ripple effect of mentorship as Josh has affected 100 of other people and he didn't know it. He probably doesn't know it today. What are some practical simple mentoring tips that you would just throw out there to guys that are listening to this, who are considering mentoring, or have just jumped into a mentoring relationship?

Speaker 2:

What are some practicals you would give them?

Speaker 3:

Yeah. You know, when I think about Josh, what I know for a fact that he did for me was he dreamed for me. He he dreamed dreams for me that I didn't know how to dream for myself. And so, you know, as he got to know me, like, he started to understand my family background. And so, you know, he started to help call out my calling in that, you know, maybe your purpose or part of the Lord's plan for you is to show your family a different way to live, you know, to give hope to the hopeless.

Speaker 3:

And and so when I think about even becoming a kid's pastor, eventually, and being able to do the same thing, you know, it's it's powerful. You know? It's it's it's been amazing to be able to, like you said, be a kid from a hard place and then give hope to other kids who, are in hard places and show them that, like, that hard place does not define you. And it it doesn't have to confine you either. You know?

Speaker 3:

But that God is he's a God of redemption, and he transforms lives. Like, he does it. It's possible, and I know that it's possible because he did it for me. You know? But it all started with Josh calling that out and, like, dreaming those dreams for me.

Speaker 3:

And so I'd say, for every mentor, like, don't be afraid to dream for your kid because they may not know how to dream for themselves. They may not have anyone in their life to give them a different vision for their life, and mentors have an incredibly unique opportunity to be used by God, to help change the trajectory of someone's life, you know, and that was definitely the experience I had with Josh. I think secondly, I I also say that, as a mentor, like, be okay with being vulnerable and, like, sharing your shortcomings, and your struggles, in an age appropriate way, obviously. Like, if you're working with an elementary kid versus working with a high schooler, like, those look very different. But I think that sometimes kids think that, like, because we're adults, like, we have our act together, and then we also have that temptation to sort of because we're adults, like, to show them that we have our act together and that, like, we're perfect.

Speaker 3:

But, but I think kids really, really benefit from seeing adults, seeing them as just human beings and seeing their shortcomings and seeing that we don't have it figured out because that, to me, like, that proves our need for the lord. You know? And kids need to see adults, like, actively working out their faith, you know, and, like, struggling with things and or just doubting or asking their own questions. Like, kids need to know that a lot of like, we don't ever arrive, you know what I mean, necessarily. Like like, we're always we're always learning.

Speaker 3:

We're always changing. God's always teaching us something new. And I I I really do believe that kids start off with believing that, like, someday, I'm gonna figure all of it out. You know? And if you're a mentor who makes your kid think, you know, that, like, you've got it figured out, like, you're deceiving them, I think.

Speaker 3:

You know what I mean? And so, yeah, just don't be afraid to be vulnerable and, because like I said, you get to show them what surrender looks like. You get to show them how to pray, how to depend on God when you don't have the answers, and how to how to trust in his plan, that's really big for a kid for them to for for you to humanize yourself a little bit.

Speaker 2:

Man of god, thank you so much for sharing. Incredible story. Incredible vulnerability. Yeah. I hope our mentors walk out in that same all the practicals that you just shared.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. Well, thank you. That means a lot. I appreciate it.

Speaker 1:

Hey, guys. Thanks so much for listening to another episode of You Can Mentor. If you guys have any questions about anything that Daniel talked about in his story, maybe you're mentoring a kid that is going through some similar things or you just want more information on what that looks like, you can check out our show notes which will also be available on our website, youcanmentor.com. Thanks so much.