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Columbus' hub for inclusive conversations on building success in real estate, construction, and adjacent industries! Host Arianny Damian holds space for local professionals to share their perspectives regarding the empowerment, support, and advocacy for women in male-dominated fields.
Okay. I'm gonna check my hair. You gotta check yours?
Speaker 2:What's left of it?
Speaker 1:Welcome to Just Between Us Girls. This is Columbus's hub for inclusive conversations on building success in male dominated fields. Whether it's through empowerment, support, or advocacy, we talk all things professional development and breaking the glass ceiling. Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of Just Between Us Girls with Ariane Damian. And today, our guest is
Speaker 2:Ralph Smithers junior, not a girl. He he him. He him. But, no. It's it's it's exciting to be here with you, especially on this podcast.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, Ralph. I'm really, really excited about this as well. So as you all know, I'm with Thompson Restoration Associates. And today, I'm super, super excited to be joined by a fellow person in my industry, specific to insurance. Ralph, do you wanna tell me a little bit about what you do, and who you do it for?
Speaker 2:Thank you. So I am the assistant vice president of diversity, equity, inclusion, and community engagement. I think that that's at least 4 different things that I just named, so it's, it's quite a bit, but I do all of that for in COVID insurance, where I've been for many, many years after long career, as an underwriter and some other roles along the way. And, you know, my my, my my role there's 2 parts of it. 1 is to make sure that we are maximizing our efforts to get the business case from diversity, equity, and inclusion that exist as well as managing the Encova Foundation of Ohio.
Speaker 1:Fantastic. And it's actually super excited to be joined by another person at a company that is locally founded and locally based. I personally am a huge fan and proponent for us. I'm sure that you are, just based off of your long resume of community engagement, that working with and for companies that are local and, really, really have that local feel, it's different. Right?
Speaker 1:It's different.
Speaker 2:It sure is. In fact, that that was way back when when I was, kinda looking for my first real job out of college. That that was really a criteria for me. I I wanted to be Me too.
Speaker 1:Me too. I only worked for small family owned companies. Yeah. And and while our company would not be considered family
Speaker 2:owned, mutual companies are owned by their policyholders. Yeah. And, you know, I really wanted and and still feel that way to to be with an organization that's connected to the community that I'm part of, that is engaged, with the community that that that I'm part of. And and you can tell when you're working with a company that's got a local touch versus one that's in some remote area that, you know, may not really care about you as a customer and maybe even as an employee. So
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, the the policies usually reflect that kind of thing. Right? Like, you can definitely hear, see, and and almost feel what that the intimacy that comes with being able to, 2 doors down, talk to the person that's making all the rules and and deciding what your company does and doesn't do.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It it makes a huge difference when you're able to work in an organization where the people that are making decisions about your livelihood or people that actually know who you are Yeah. Or seen you before. So
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:That that that's was something that I am, you know, been very blessed with through the years to have that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. If things look or sound a little different to you today, it's because one of the amazing things that Ralph actually does is have a slew of I I don't even know that I would call them hobbies. Like, you have invested quite amount of time, money, and things, so we're actually using Ralph's equipment today, but I'm so excited, and I feel so privileged that you were like, you know what? I will sound engineer this whole episode. I will do this.
Speaker 2:Well, I I hope no one is disappointed for for sure. But I I have to tell you, I'm not only a subscriber to this podcast. I listen to it. I just really enjoy your social media presence and your influence, and I am so honored to be a part of this. And I'm a little nervous, so I hope that doesn't, you know, become a distraction.
Speaker 2:I I am just thrilled to be here and doing this
Speaker 1:with you.
Speaker 2:So thank you.
Speaker 1:That means the world to me. I'm literally I'm like, we could go back and forth for days because I feel like every time we have a conversation, like, I find something new about you that I'm like, this person is just absolute that's why I had to have you on this podcast. I just cannot believe all the things that you're involved with, that you take your time to do, and also, you're someone something that I am so deeply appreciative of is people that really live their lives, that go out of their way, and and I think that's been a huge part of your professional development, as well as your personal, and that kind of touches into today's episode. One of the biggest things with today's episode is that it's a little bit less tactile, and it's a little bit more about how you use your soft skill and how you take the time in your day to professionally professionally develop from a personal aspect, and how those things are related and how that can really, really change your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I I think that anything that we do should be done, with purpose. We spend the best hours or the best days or the best years of our life. And if what we do doesn't align with our purpose, not just, you know, to earn income, but just to make the world a better place if we have a chance, we've gotta do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I think one of the things that you said that I've, like, wrote down first when we were talking was just existing will not get you where you want to be.
Speaker 2:No. It's not a way to live. It's not a way to live.
Speaker 1:You're existing. You're not living. And that kind of really goes into today's conversation, especially with how you even got into your role at Encova, because that's a big I mean, that's a that's a carrier. That's literally an insurance carrier here in Columbus that and and beyond. You guys are pretty much doing all of the mid Atlantic, Midwest region.
Speaker 1:Right? And you started out as an underwriter with them.
Speaker 2:I sure did. So my insurance career actually started as a college student. That's how I got into insurance. I was working in retail and I didn't enjoy that at all. I didn't like the hours, didn't really care for the pay, and I had a mean boss on top of that.
Speaker 1:If we're just being honest.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Just being honest. And, I just randomly had a chance, after my 1st year in college to just randomly get a job at an insurance company working in a call center. Mhmm. And, I love the hours.
Speaker 2:I didn't have to work nights and weekends.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I got paid vacation even as a 19 year old, which was pretty cool. Paid vac paid holidays.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, in the hottest days of the summer, the building was air conditioned. So
Speaker 1:We love to see it.
Speaker 2:You know, it was it was pretty good. I I I really, you know, enjoyed that. I thought it was, you know, really cool, And I really enjoyed you know, and I know you do too. I enjoyed working with the customers, especially the ones that were really stressed out and angry because I this
Speaker 1:You can turn it all around.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Exactly. You know, I thought it would be really it was just really cool, and and I got to a point where I I started to I wonder if there's a career opportunity here. And, you know, I ended up becoming a double major, so I majored in finance and insurance at Ohio State and, kinda walked into this job, at Motors at the time as an underwriter. Even before I graduate, I started my train.
Speaker 2:I just because of the timing, I ended up almost getting hired on the spot. Yeah. And, became an underwriter and, you know, I had a lot of training to to, you know, answer phone calls and so forth in personal lines at the time. And, you know, it just really kinda gave me a chance to have a running start, but as any career, and and this is not taught in school. When when you're in school, you know, you go from 1st grade.
Speaker 2:If you do most of the things that you're asked to do, you go to 2nd grade until, you know, and then maybe if you continue on in college, if you do most of what is expected, you move up and move along in a really linear path.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, you know, careers are not like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Not at all. And I think and, not to cut you off, but I totally agree with you that that is not taught. And, also, what's taught is kind of this fear that as your career and as your professional trajectory develops, that things only get more strict and worse. And, like, the even the transition from high school to college.
Speaker 1:Right? My college teachers were, like, late to class, pretty much my age. Like, they they were hanging out more than I was. Okay? And I was told in high school and taught to have this, like, instinctual fear of, like, they are not gonna take your crap, and you are gonna have to be super in line and and almost, like, bump that creativity from you and that, like, ability and want to take risks?
Speaker 2:Yes. Really not like that in real life. In fact, I've heard it said that, you know, careers are the education system is more like a ladder and careers are more like a jungle gym. So you go from side to side, maybe backwards, maybe up, you know, sideways, and my career has definitely been like that. You know, I think the original question, how did you get into what you're doing now from you know, first of all, it took a lot of years.
Speaker 2:So, you know, that that part's part of it. But I think the big thing that led to the transition for me to be in the space I'm in now is after about 5 years of underwriting and maybe getting a little tired of doing all the transiting. That's very transactional, lots of phone calls, lots of transactions and I had been doing it at that point counting my time in college for 9, 9 years. Yeah. It's hard to believe and I wanted to do something different and I actually applied to become a trainer within the company.
Speaker 2:We called it the training and development department back then now it's called learning and education and that was really the first thing I think that opened up the possibility of me, being kind of in the role that I have right now. I worked in HR. I sort of did the jungle gym thing, you know, through that job. Eventually became the manager and, you know, had a really good run at it. And then I went back into the operations for, I think, 12 more years.
Speaker 2:And and, eventually, we we just had a situation where there were some needs that were some gaps in what the company was delivering and some opportunities, and I think just just based on that prior experience I had, I I was just given an opportunity to kind of create, kind of what we have now. So so I I think that, you you know, just remembering that a career is not a ladder even though you're climbing the ladder, they say that it's really not the case. You you move around, you end up, you know, if you're lucky, you end up in jobs that have nothing to do with what you studied in college or anywhere else.
Speaker 1:If keywords. If you're lucky.
Speaker 2:If you're lucky.
Speaker 1:Because I had absolutely no idea that even what I'm doing now, like, this career path existed. Right? And I think that's a really what's really interesting about that is you you think that just because you're going backwards, you're not making progress, but movement is movement. Right? Like, movement is whatever that that growth, you can't even quantify if you didn't expect it, but at the same time, it's that trust and understanding that even though this doesn't apply at all with maybe what I've been doing for the last 10 years, this is going to get me somewhere I need to be going.
Speaker 2:Definitely. And, you know, if anyone is listening to this, maybe who's maybe just getting started in their career, you don't know all this stuff that we're talking about until it hits you. And it's hard. You know?
Speaker 1:It's so emotionally taxing.
Speaker 2:It's hard. I I remember, there was a particular job that I had an aspiration to go in Mhmm. Or go to, and we had a big reorganization in the company, and that job didn't exist anymore. And I thought my life was over. You know?
Speaker 2:I mean, you have to go through it, and I'm speaking from, you know, a lot of experience and hard knocks and things like that, but our society, especially through the education system, prepares us more for the latter than the jungle gym. Absolutely. And and because of that, it can be unnerving, you know, when you're kind of running or encountering these things for the first time.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Well and even, like, in regards to, like, hearing the word no to certain career opportunities or whatever it may be, I think that for us, it feels like, you know, the metaphor that everybody uses of, like, a closed door. Right? And it's kind of this hard stop, and it hits you in the face, and it hurts. But on the other hand, like, what if it was a trampoline?
Speaker 1:What if it bounced you in that jungle gym to the career path that you were supposed to go to? I I got a lot of no's before doing this interview and coming to this job. And I
Speaker 2:didn't tell you that. Not this interview. No.
Speaker 1:Not this interview. But, like, the fact that there were so many things that I thought the same thing. Like, I got fired from I have not told this story often. I got fired from Buffalo Wild Wings. It was one of my first, like, college jobs that I was like, okay, you know, we're working for all these local small companies.
Speaker 1:Let's try something a little bit bigger and just see if we can dip into these corporate dollars. And I got, red carded as a server, which is which means that I basically, one of the, like, inspectors for the city, you know, was coming around seeing if anybody would serve him alcohol looking underage. And I do wanna preface this with, that man did not look underage to me.
Speaker 2:Age is a social conscript and a and a random thing. And if you're younger, hey, when I was in 1st grade, the 6th graders looked like adults. Right?
Speaker 1:Yes. No. Oh my gosh. The amount of, like, teenagers and stuff that call me ma'am, and I'm like, I am just as young and hip as you are. But, like, I had gotten red carded for walking away, thinking that this client was, you know, older than the drinking age, and I got fired that day.
Speaker 1:It was the first job I ever got fired from, and the only job I ever got fired from. But it felt like the end of my world. I had my first apartment at the time. I was like, I'm not how am I gonna pay my rent? And I've always had multiple jobs, but for me, it was just the fact that, like, now it was like a stain on my adult report card.
Speaker 1:Right? Like, you've gotten fired from somewhere.
Speaker 2:It went on your permanent record.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. Right. Like Which it doesn't. Exist.
Speaker 1:Exactly. But you think that way, and that ended up lunging me into just taking on more hours at the medical facility I worked at, and that led to way more opportunities, which was fantastic. And like you were saying, though, like, getting to the topic of our episode, age is also a construct, and failing now doesn't mean failing forever. And deciding how old you are is a real thing, and I think that you embody that, which I'm really excited to talk about and get into.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I I try. I try. And I've got to throw this in too. So just real quick, a little bit off slightly off topic, but I always tell people, you know, I was a business major at Ohio State.
Speaker 2:And if I had known that I was going to end up in a HR type career, I would have paid more attention than the one and only HR class I had at Ohio State. You know? Probably. I would have paid attention. I mean, I had I had a class.
Speaker 2:I took it in summer school. It was a 5 week, you know, kind of a compressed and I I would have been attentive. Yeah. And and you don't know. And, I think that when you are in that mindset that it's a ladder or that you're on train tracks, it's gonna take you straight to doesn't work that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And you have something to learn everywhere too, which is, you know, if you feel like you're in a place that you don't necessarily need to be in right now, until you feel like your business is finished there, on my last episode with Christy Daniel, we were talking about a situation I had where I didn't feel like I was done yet. And I did a couple more things, and I think I've actually I've I've asked you for some advice on that situation. And with that, I ended up until I was done, I wasn't done.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But I knew when I was, and that's the kind of intuitive process and those kind of things that you learn along the way that literally just come from you. You know, and you have your internal monitor is not typically wrong when something or someone is hitting you or striking a chord in a way that you're like, I don't think this is I don't think this is the place. I don't think this is the spot, or I really need to go for this. This may seem totally out of left field, but I really need to go for this.
Speaker 2:It's definitely a journey. Like I said, you know, we've talked about I don't think our society really prepares you
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That way because everything is so linear and structured, but, you know, that's not the reality of it. But the sooner you recognize that and you start to get involved in things that are in alignment with your passions and, you you mitigate the fear Yeah. Which, you know, I'm still working on too. Yeah. But but, you know, when you start doing that, things start happening.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And with that too, I think that sometimes we stop ourselves from doing things out of not knowing if you're going if you're gonna have the capacity. Right? And so I think that leads into a little conversation around when you are wanting to get involved with things and you're wanting to you sit on a ton of boards. And I just respect how much time you have really dedicated to the passion projects that you have and the things that are really important to you outside of your direct role at Encova.
Speaker 1:Right? With that, how do you feel like passion fuels your planner? How do you feel like you make this extra time? You have kids. You make time to go ride the bike every morning in your Google Lenses, which I cannot wait for you guys to just see this man's content.
Speaker 1:When whenever you go to look up Ralph Smithers, you're just gonna have a heyday. But how do you how do you make that time? How do you decide and not let fear of capacity stop you from doing things?
Speaker 2:Well, first of all, I will say capacity is a real thing, and sometimes I do wonder if I'm not on the edge of, you know, losing my my everlasting mind. But I I always do my I I you know, 1, I prioritize what's on my calendar, and I do spend a lot of time planning. I'm not as spontaneous as maybe as I would would like to be, but, you know, I'll I'll spend a significant amount of time every week looking at my calendar, figuring out where I'm supposed to be. If I'm running real close between engagements, okay, You know, when do I need to leave? How do I manage that?
Speaker 2:I I do think about that, like, more like a monthly and week on a weekly and monthly basis, I try to figure out how I'm gonna, you know, navigate for 1. And then as far as what I put on my calendar, because I basically go where my calendar tells me to go.
Speaker 1:I'm the same way.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I
Speaker 1:And that brought a a point up for me that I can't wait to get into, Alex.
Speaker 2:I can't wait for you to ask, but I I would also say that I always prioritize people over anything else.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, you know, if you're you're kind of in a decision where I've gotta do something that's related to people or something that's related to a process, I'm always gonna choose people.
Speaker 1:Your high I, high high s is showing.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I mean, people and that that's what makes it go around. That's what makes the world go you know, that filling out that spreadsheet or doing that report, I mean, that that'll be there. But, you know, you you don't it's a it's a unique opportunity when you when you prioritize people and relationships.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And to make them feel important, I will tell you, we so when we were planning this podcast, Ralph was like, oh, gosh. I do have something to be doing at that time, but you know what? This is really important to me, and I'm gonna go ahead and move this around and make the time. And I'll tell you, even hearing that from you, I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Well, you're you're important. Thank you. Right? You know, I mean, you're important and, you know, like I said, I am a subscriber and I am a listener, and, I I I'm paying attention, and I'm like, I get to be a part of that? Yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna make that happen.
Speaker 1:That's something that as the person on the other end of it, it just makes you feel here's the thing. It's one thing to do it. Right? You could have very well just done that on your calendar. I would have had no idea.
Speaker 1:It's also another thing to make sure that you tell that person or that you almost express to someone, I want you to know, like, you're important to me and that this is that that expression of gratitude and people hearing that from you, that does make a big difference because it does let people know. It kind of goes into, one of our speaking points here of it sometimes it's so much more important to show or tell that you are also making something a priority or doing that thing, Because otherwise, no one would know, and it's important if you want people to resonate your name with a certain thing that you, avidly talk about that thing or what is important to you or what matters to you. Because otherwise, how will we know?
Speaker 2:Exactly. And I have to share this with you. So, you know, most of what I've learned is, you know, through hard knocks or experience, but, you know, there are especially when you have a community type job, there are so many times that I need to be there are 3 things happening in the same evening, and I've gotta figure out. I really need to be at all 3. How can I make this happen?
Speaker 2:And and it's happened a lot. And, one of the things and I don't ever want anyone to think, well, I'm too busy for you or feel bad that I had to do this, that, or the other to be here. But I found that if if I can communicate, you know, hey, I I've I've I'm gonna be able to make an appearance, but I've gotta be at such and such and, you know, you're really important. I have found that people help you. So let's say, hey, Ralph, you know, you you better get going, you know, versus just having to cut off abruptly.
Speaker 2:People will help
Speaker 1:just so excited. That you stay. And I understand.
Speaker 2:Me get to those places and I and I've just, you know, I didn't have a class on that or anything, but I just kinda learned.
Speaker 1:Communication. Oh my gosh, Ralph. That is such an important aspect. And like you said, 2 people will help you. I have had similar situations.
Speaker 1:Me and my team have to split up to all hit a certain event, or I have to go make it to 2 or 3 events in the same night. And I will tell you, if you're communicating that upfront, people will even tell me when is best for me to make sure that I'm at their place during this time, and you can make all the things happen. And they don't feel bad that you're leaving, you don't feel bad that you're leaving, and you're at the event during the most important time for them, for you, for everybody involved.
Speaker 2:You're getting the full experience and you're not being off. You just abruptly leave or you don't show up, you know, that could be rude, and, you get you get the best of all of it with help from your friends.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And there's they would not know to do that for you if you didn't go out of your way
Speaker 2:to life. I backed into it. I didn't read a book or anything. I just kinda discovered that. But I think it also, I think being transparent and and and just being authentic, helps with that so people know, and they help you move along.
Speaker 2:So that's how you manage all those things and and with a prioritization on people.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And I think too, what's really important about that, especially in the realm of service or boards, things like that, because a lot of it does take place in the evening, right, when you have things with your family or whatever it may be. And when we talk about things like life balance and making sure that it's that give and that get, when you do have the opportunity to extend yourself or be a little bit more flexible, in the times that you can for that person, that is even more helpful for them to have grace for you whenever you were gonna need it. And even going back to how you were saying, like, I'm not necessarily the most, like, spontaneous person or whatever it may be. I have even found, and this is just like kind of a piece of advice or an action item for anyone listening, is I kind of plan my spontaneity and my times for that kind of thing.
Speaker 1:One of my things with my partner is, we literally have even our social events on a calendar.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:I'm just like you where I move where my calendar tells me to move even if it's, like, birthday party here, then we're gonna have lunch, and then we're gonna whatever it may be. But I have even found taking a couple hours and blocking it off, say, I know during this whole week we have a bunch of after hours events. On this day that we don't have after hours events, I'm still gonna block it off, and I'm not gonna leave it open to interpretation, because I wanna be purposeful at that time to, hey, we're gonna leave these hours open for that spontaneity. We're gonna do a picnic this night. We're gonna go to dinner this night.
Speaker 1:And almost blocking off those hours that you do also want to keep free, so that you're not running into this, like, oh my gosh. When I first opened my Calendly, I didn't realize that people could just schedule themselves on your calendar. I thought that people would have to you know, people would select a time slot and then request a time, and I can approve it. No. And I found myself way overbooked because I wasn't booking that's where I learned to block off my free times or my spontaneity time, is blocking those times off and creating those, like, fields field guides for you also then allow that opportunity for you not to get overbooked, and for you not to feel bad that you are overbooked.
Speaker 1:Because having to go to things back to back to back to back let's be real. If something ends at 2:30, it doesn't really end at 2:30. By the time you get to your car, it ends at 2:35. By the time you're getting on the highway, you're gonna be at your place maybe 10 to that's why that is why you're perpetually running 10 to 15 minutes late.
Speaker 2:Right. Right.
Speaker 1:You're not leaving that time to walk to your car just in case you're stuck on the road for a little longer than you hoped. Just in case, shoot, if I gotta get gas. I I don't know. I feel like that's something that I have not even taken the time to really think about. Well, we we just do the best we can, but at the end of the day, we
Speaker 2:all have to say, well, we we the amount of time that we have on this earth is not guaranteed, so we don't all have the same amount of time in that respect. But, you know, what they say, 24 hours a day and Yeah. You know, I I don't have the math in my head right now, but, you know, that's so many seconds. And, I think that if you operate on knowing what your priorities are, you'll end up in the right place. And and and it's about priorities.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you have 5 different things to do and you can do one, you gotta if you know what your priorities are, you'll end up at the right place, and you'll be able to articulate to the others, you know, why you're not gonna be part of that. Yeah. But I think that and I've had time to think about this. The thing that drives my priorities and my passion is that I try to be the person that I need or needed. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:I I tried to
Speaker 1:be heard that.
Speaker 2:That's a word. I'll say I'll say it again. No. I I really try to be that person that I needed. And, you know, I haven't you know, I have a lot of friends, a lot of people that I and I'm gonna tell you, you know, just interacting with you, I grow.
Speaker 2:You know, I find growth in doing that, but I haven't always had a ton of mentors or spa really very few sponsors, for a variety of reasons, just maybe timing or or whatever. But in any given situation, I I just try to be that person that I needed. And, you know, what that ends up doing is it ends up, you know, I really love to be around people that are really trying to maybe get to that next level, but maybe they just can't quite get to that next, rung of the ladder or the next part of the jungle gym and but maybe I've been there before, and I can offer a little something to help someone get to that next step. Or I can say, hey. I I've been through this before.
Speaker 2:Maybe you can try this.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, you know, I'm delighted if it works. You never know if it's gonna work or not, but but I'm always driven by that. You know, we need, supporters.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, you you know
Speaker 1:I think and people that are willing to move forward by going backward.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:Back to a place that they have been and deciding that they are going to be that person to help them.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of people in this world that will just hold on to everything. Well, you know, you're just gonna have to go through all of it just like I did and why? Right. You know, why? It doesn't have to be that way.
Speaker 2:And if if I can be that person for someone else, I get a lot of satisfaction out of that and, I form new relationships, new friends, and my life is multiple times better because of it and there are just so many people that are, you know, I consider family that, you know, that maybe how how it started. And then I learned along the way. Yeah. And that's how I can be on this podcast, you know.
Speaker 1:I will tell you, Ralph, something that really, I appreciate about watching someone like you is that you feel well well rounded. You feel like someone that, like, you again, you go on your bike rides, you go and you have all this equipment and you do these, like, I found out all these different things that Ralph is a part of and does and, like, helps shoot, like, drone videos for his friends and things like that. And I feel like even those things outside of your work though are extending even the amount of time that you're gonna be part of our workforce and community, and and being a person that is really service oriented in that way, it's extending that life expectancy of your professional development, personal development because you find ways to really amplify your time.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you. And that's a tremendous honor, and, what I'll just say is that, the the day that I stop learning will be the day that I stop breathing. You know, simple as that. I always wanna be trying to get better or get smarter, just be dialed in, be informed, and I don't give people advice. You know?
Speaker 2:I'll give a perspective, but one thing that I will offer as as advice is that one should never be defined by their job. If you are solely defined on your job and something changes and it causes your whole persona to collapse with it, that's a really bad and people are in that space all the time. And I think that it's just really important to have more more about you than just what you do for a job. Yeah. And, real quick, I'll I'll share this with you.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you've heard of the amazing t street. Mhmm. She is a motivational speaker, a community leader, and high school classmate of mine.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's so cool.
Speaker 2:And she, I I went to I I she speaks often and I I get, you know, get to interact with her, but, I went to a panel that she was moderating. It was at the WELL conference and she did something that I had never seen done before, but it helps really crystallize what I'm saying. She had each person on the panel. She said, I'd like you to introduce yourselves, but I don't want you to give any job titles or anything like that. I want you to introduce yourself.
Speaker 2:And, you know, when you think of it like that, if you struggle to say who you are and what you're all about without saying this is the job that I have or just I'm gonna read you my LinkedIn profile, That could be a red flag for, you know, future future issues. And and and I guess that just really wanting to be avoid to avoid being defined by the day job, trying to be the person that I needed, that I've needed, you know, along the way and, you know, just try to leave things better than you found them. You know, that's you know, if there's 3 things that kinda drive me that just come to my head as we're talking.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You know, I
Speaker 2:think that would be it.
Speaker 1:I gotta tell you that is really something, a couple years ago, I found myself in a position where a lot of the conversations I was having or ways that I would introduce myself were really kind of through my job or through my partner and not necessarily directly associated with what I was doing outside of those things. Right? And that is really what fueled me getting involved more on the nonprofit side, doing the social media stuff, the community engagement, these kind of things. And I will say that it was really interesting to find I felt like I didn't have a place to start. When I moved back to Columbus and I was trying to figure out what exactly I was outside of work or whatever, trying to find a place to start with that was really difficult because I was, like, I'm not gonna pick up and go I used to be a cheerleader.
Speaker 1:I can't go cheerlead again, you know, those kind of things. But if you just go out and try to maybe at least do one new thing a week or set a goal of, I'm gonna go out there's a place I've been eyeing for a while, I'm gonna go pour a candle, I'm gonna go paint and sip, I'm gonna go play some pickleball, like, things that you just wouldn't typically make the time for, I think that's how you also expand your horizons and maybe meet people that lead you into other spaces.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I have to tell you that really, kinda makes me think of a couple things. A couple years ago, and I maybe during the pandemic, I had time to think about this. Sometimes you're just doing things you don't even know why or or what. But one thing that I, in in in recent years that I I've tried to do is at least once a quarter try to do something that I would otherwise 9 out of 10 times say no to.
Speaker 1:Mhmm. How do you find those things?
Speaker 2:We're asked to do things all the time, all the time. And, you know, sometimes, like, I'd rather, you know, you'll come up with a reason, but, you know, the real reason is I'm at home on the couch watching Netflix.
Speaker 1:I'm comfortable. Right? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I mean, that's and I need that right now. But, you know, I have found that if I can at least give myself grace to a couple times a year to say yes to that thing that I would otherwise completely say no to, Some of the most impactful people that I've ever met that influence, you know, influence my life, influence the quality of my life, just all the things that I'm doing, new hobbies, whatever it is, have come from that. Yeah. You know, come from those times where I'm like, I don't I don't want to, but you do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And, and it makes you wanna try more things.
Speaker 1:It does. It makes you want to decide to say yes more often. Yeah. If you're in a place where you are feeling stuck or you're seeing the same faces and you want to change those things, I absolutely agree. The next opportunity you have to say yes to something you wouldn't typically, say yes and go and do the thing, follow through.
Speaker 1:And if you hated it, sorry. But Sometimes probably won't.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Sometimes it's a bust, but I think that, you know, especially if you're if you feel like you're you're just stuck in the mud. You hear about that. You see people. Oh, you know, they're everything, you know, that you said.
Speaker 2:Oh, I stuck here. I'm tired of this time. And then you're like, well, what are you doing different?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, are you showing up where you're not expected? Are you showing up at places that you might not have otherwise done? Or you try it, and and I appreciate what you're saying about, trying those new things. All these crazy, hobbies I have come from. Hey.
Speaker 2:I would I would try that. Yeah. That looks pretty cool. You know? I'm gonna give that a shot.
Speaker 2:And, sometimes it's a bust and, you know, you don't get that time back, but I would say that if you're, you know, if you're thoughtful about it, you know, you can't you gotta say no. Right? You can't always say yes, but if you're thoughtful about it and you just allocate a little space Yeah. To to try things and to say yes or hang out with people as you're not used to hanging out with, great things can come of that. And I've been the recipient of that, and I I don't think we would be sitting here today if it weren't for that.
Speaker 2:I'm very thankful, as I said earlier, to to be here. So
Speaker 1:It makes me excited because I will tell you, so if you're listening to this episode and going, Yarianni, what does this have to do with professional development? I will tell you some of the happiest people I know, some of the most involved people I know, some of the people that are truly making a difference, and in turn growing their network, growing their careers, whatever it may be, it's all because they are people that say yes, go out of their way to be of service, and most times are just in these different if you're in a vacuum, all you will take in, all you will see, all you will understand is that vacuum mindset, whatever that is. Sometimes we work with people that are really unhappy, or we see people on a regular basis that are very unhappy. And whether you like it or not, I think those feelings can stick to you, or you will encounter them and they will glide right off. And I think part of that, having that buoyancy and that resilience where things just glide right off of you, or that you build this emotional endurance through times that are more difficult.
Speaker 1:We're getting into seasonal depression season. And I think how you build that endurance to go through those things is genuinely by going into different spaces and giving yourself that exposure and that opportunity to go meet different people, hear different things, see different things, and just be a part of something bigger. Right?
Speaker 2:Right. In fact, you know, most of the things that I do, especially things related to movement, whether beyond my bike or going to the gym or hanging out with my friends that are doing the same thing, most of that is driven by trying to keep my head on straight.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know? I mean, that's a big driver, a huge driver. There's more to that than there is anything else. Right? So, you know, that's really big, but I have also kinda discovered that where in the past, I might have been a little oh, I don't wanna go because I don't know anyone.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, you know, now that once you start getting into the habit of trying, then it gets easier. And then you make new friends, and your life is just so much more fulfilling.
Speaker 1:And you do it more consistently.
Speaker 2:You do it more consistently because you're just getting over that, you know, all the you you we have these little voices in our heads. And they
Speaker 1:tell us really nasty things.
Speaker 2:They tell us nasty things. They mostly tell us that there that we can't do certain things, and it ends up being a limit, and we can't get out of our own way. And we hear people talk about that all the time. Yeah. And, you know, if you intentionally just punch holes in that every night, you can't do it all the time.
Speaker 2:You have to say no. But if you can get to the point where you can punch holes in that every now and then
Speaker 1:Yeah. I was having
Speaker 2:have a more fulfilling existence.
Speaker 1:100%. I was having this conversation with someone the other day, and, and here's the thing. Right? It's not about toxic positivity. It's not about looking at something.
Speaker 1:If it if it looks like doo doo, smell like doo doo, it's probably doo doo. But if you are able to see a glimmer of hope, opportunity, or something that you, feel drawn to and you're just getting in your own way, it's about having the positivity and mindset to be able to decide that you're not going to be in that space. I was having a conversation with someone the other day that was, like, well, I don't wanna, it was it was regarding going and, like, stopping and introducing themselves to some potential business partners and, you know, making themselves, just a little bit more known among a certain clientele. And they're like, well, I don't wanna go, and, like, I'm a bother to their day. Like, I know that I am a bother to their day.
Speaker 1:And I'm like, you think you're a bother to their day, so how are you gonna show up there and not be that?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It does start with how you see yourself, the paradigm that you see the situation in, and I think that really alters the way at the end of it, they came back and they were lit. They were like, I met so many cool people. It ended up being a great positive conversation. Like, it was fine. And a lot of the times, it does come down to just making sure that you go in with the mindset of saying, like, it's gonna be fine.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna have a good time. They're gonna have a good time. And even if we, you know I I, a lot of the times, and call it a lulu, whatever. I think that what you go in with and what you decide offhand is typically what will happen on the other end of it. Absolutely.
Speaker 1:It's an upfront contract with yourself and with the event or situation, and you get to draw that contract up.
Speaker 2:Expectations definitely drive outcomes, period, end stop. One of the things I got to do, at one part of my career, I used to do sales training for our agents and, there there was a a study and I don't know if it was a real study or if it was just an example to get everyone fired up, but, in this context, there was one group that was asked to sell a product, and they were told that it was worth, say, $3.50. Mhmm. And then there was another group that was asked the same sell the same product, but they were told it was $7. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Guess what group a sold their product for? When they thought it was $3, guess what they sold it for?
Speaker 1:Probably, like $3? Yeah. Yeah. Like, the same.
Speaker 2:The $7 group, $7. Mhmm. Expectations definitely drive. Now you have to be realistic about things. You know?
Speaker 2:You're not you know, you said to Lulu a few times. I mean, you have to kinda be in touch with, you know, with reality and with what people where where people are. But, you know, the fact is is that our expectations definitely drive our outcomes.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, you know, we we can choose. And, you know, it leaves room for potentially get getting disappointed and our expectations need to be informed. You know? They just gotta be realistic.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:But we can't we can't let our that little voice in our head limit what we could potentially do.
Speaker 1:I agree. Well, I hope that this episode met your expectations. And, Ralph, this has been beyond mine. Like I said, every conversation that we have, I feel like I learned something. I feel like we have this, energy, and that's why I was so excited to bring that energy to this podcast.
Speaker 1:And, I I just again, I can't thank you enough. Like, not only did he come on, but then he comes and brings this equipment, and he's like, I'm gonna add value to this. I hope. Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And that is something that, we just did this conference, and it was talking about the, the Ritz Carlton factor and how we can do these small little things that sprinkle extra joy or add a layer of just showing someone that you are listening or that you care. And those kind of things that we call it the Ritz at Thompson now, and those are the points that really allow us to go past this very superficial level of connection that when you're networking with someone and you meet with them at a event or whatever, it's like, yeah. Well, I'll catch you soon, versus you actually have, like, some meaningful and and important things that come out of relationship.
Speaker 2:Well, I just have to do this as a reminder, and I said this earlier. I'm a subscriber. Right? I listen to this. I listen to the to the other podcast you've done.
Speaker 2:I'm a subscriber. I always am excited when I see another one has is is is been released. I am just so thoroughly impressed with how the energy that you project and the influence that you have and all the different channels that you touch. And to have a chance to be here is just the coolest thing ever, and I am so grateful. So so thank you.
Speaker 2:And, I I just just hope that, you know, whoever whoever gets to listen to this feels like it was worth their time.
Speaker 1:I agree. Thank you so so much. I can't even if I get into it with you, we'll do this for hours. Thank you so so much. I can't tell you that enough.
Speaker 1:And again, thank you for joining us. We have finally surpassed 500 subscribers, and we're so, so, so excited about it. This has been such an incredible experience, and I'm so excited for all the remaining guests and all the guests that we have had. This has been such a great opportunity for connection throughout our industry, this has been an episode that's a little bit different because it's about some of the more, I think the softer side of our professional development, which is really understanding how we can expand our capacity and how we can have a relationship with emotional endurance that allows us to grow in a lot of different ways. So thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1:Don't forget to like, subscribe, and all of the things. And Ralph, thank you again, and I'll see you guys on the next episode. Yay. Okay. Oh, my god.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:I know
Speaker 1:I'm gonna cry every time I get it.
Speaker 2:That was awesome.