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Welcome to "No F**ks Given," where we redefine menopause as a superpower. Hosted by Holly Lamb, a women's health coach, who is navigating early menopause. This podcast offers empowering guidance on women's health and navigating perimenopause with confidence. From nutrition tips to fitness advice and mindfulness practices, we cover it all. But here's the twist: it's all about embracing your most authentic, unapologetic self. We're here to help you reclaim your power, say goodbye to societal norms, and live life on your own terms—no f**ks given. Welcome to the revolution!
Holly Lamb (00:00.91)
Hello everybody and welcome to episode seven of the No Fucks Given podcast with me, your host Holly Lamb. This week I am joined by the lovely Rebecca Joy. She is a writer, healing arts practitioner, earth lover, self -love activist and a mom based in Chicago, Illinois in the US of A. So welcome Rebecca, how are you today?
Rebekah Joy (00:27.277)
Thank you so much. I'm doing well. I'm doing well. It's early morning here. So just getting grounded, grounded in the day.
Holly Lamb (00:31.534)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (00:35.598)
Fabulous. So we actually met on a course together and we kind of connected through there and Rebecca told me all about her story and it resonated with me and I just thought it was incredible. So I just wanted to get you on the podcast just basically to talk about your story and your journey with perimenopause. If you would love to dive in, that would be amazing.
Rebekah Joy (00:43.501)
you
Rebekah Joy (00:51.436)
Sure, yeah, I'd love to. Yeah, I was so excited to connect with you as well. So I am currently 44 years old and in 2015 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
and it was a particularly aggressive form. So doctors recommended immediately launching into all of the traditional sort of Western medicine, chemo, radiation, all of those things, which ended up sending me into what they called pseudo menopause, meaning it was induced, right, by the medications. And I think I stopped bleeding.
Holly Lamb (01:37.838)
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (01:52.013)
maybe like six months into that treatment. And then my menstrual flow did not, you know, and I had all the different symptoms that can come with menopause. And I didn't bleed for over a year, which then they say is officially menopause, right? 12 months. So that happened. And along, you know, that journey, I met my now husband.
And he and I connected and fell in love and it was very rapid. It was very rapid fire thing. Moved in together, you know, started talking about, you know, our future and the things that we wanted. And I had never, I had never actually been super invested in the idea of becoming a mother. And honestly, I think a lot of it was just fear and
Holly Lamb (02:30.446)
You
Rebekah Joy (02:50.539)
wasn't with the right partners in the past for it and just all sorts, for all sorts of reasons, I had considered for many years that I would be a person who wouldn't have children. And so, long story short, I felt in my soul that I wanted to have a child with my partner. But I was in menopause, right? I hadn't bled in over a year.
I started seeing fertility specialists just to see like is there a way to to stimulate things like what could I do and I was told I remember the day it happened because this fertility specialist that I saw left a voicemail and said I'm sorry you no longer have any viable eggs it will not be possible for you to conceive you are in menopause.
Um, which makes sense, right? But a voicemail, yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't thrilled with that. I never, I never called her back, never, never even acknowledged it. Um, I was, I was pretty frustrated by it, but at the same time, I tend to take what comes and then move forward. Sometimes I believe what comes and sometimes I'm delusional.
Holly Lamb (03:52.366)
on a voicemail.
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (04:18.478)
You
Rebekah Joy (04:18.953)
I've been really appreciating like in Sam's group and just different conversations I've had lately with like -minded people like just be delusional. Why not? Everything else is, you know, a created story anyway. So I just decided at the time like I was kind of going back and forth in my mind between like do I continue being delusional or do I just let go, you know, and consider maybe adoption or something like that.
Holly Lamb (04:26.734)
Yeah, why not?
Exactly.
Rebekah Joy (04:46.087)
But it's so funny, Holly. I had a conversation with, I think I was just waiting for permission to be looked delusional. So I had a conversation with a friend about everything that was going on. She's about 20 years older than me. And she said, they don't know what they're talking about. Nobody really knows what goes on in the body. And I heard this.
and somehow it registered in my whole system. As truth, the next day I started bleeding.
Holly Lamb (05:18.83)
Mm -hmm.
No. Wow. The power. Mm. Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (05:23.302)
Wild. It was wild. And just really speaks to what we choose to believe as truth, that choice, the power of that choice. So I started bleeding pretty regularly after that. And then I started seeing...
Holly Lamb (05:34.798)
Mm.
Rebekah Joy (05:49.477)
an acupuncturist who was able to do, who did more like focus treatment around my ovaries. And so things really, everything came back online. And I was pregnant within a year, which, which ended in a miscarriage. And then I was pregnant again, the following year, which ended up, I ended up giving birth, stillbirth. And that
Holly Lamb (06:14.798)
Mm -hmm. Okay.
Rebekah Joy (06:19.045)
was catalytic. As you can imagine, we were a little over seven months into the pregnancy. We had a really strong energetic bond and you know, we got to hold him we got to hold this baby Ashae, we named him we got to hold him in the hospital for about 24 hours and just sit with him and it it it broke me. And it's sort of like,
Holly Lamb (06:20.558)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (06:30.862)
Hmm.
Holly Lamb (06:45.358)
Hmm.
Rebekah Joy (06:47.94)
opened this portal really to understanding life and the cosmos and myself in new ways and the grief of all of that was pretty heavy but I also knew through it all that there was purpose. So then, and stop me if this is getting a little too, if the pieces are starting to... It'll all come back together.
Holly Lamb (07:13.326)
No, no. Thank you for sharing. Yeah. Yeah. No, I love it. Thank you. Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (07:17.444)
I then, you know, and this, you know, caused a lot of, a lot of shakeups in my life and my relationship with my partner and a year, not a year later, probably a few weeks after, maybe a couple of months after the death of Ashae, the stillbirth.
I told the universe, you know, I would like to have a healthy child. This is what I want. But I do not want to conceive if it's going to end this way again. Like, absolutely not. I will not conceive again if this is how it's going to end. And I had this hope, like this message just sort of dropped in of you will.
you will have a baby. And then of course, from that moment on, I kept seeing the word hope everywhere. I went to a play that weekend and there was a baby in the play named Hope. Like it was just, all the signs were everywhere. So I started to feel really, really confident. And I, we conceived in August. So Ashe was born.
Holly Lamb (08:28.686)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (08:46.594)
The stillbirth happened in February of 2019 and then I conceived by August of 2019. No interventions or anything like that. We were just trying to be healthy and just live in our lives. And I actually didn't, I had decided that I would not have any interaction at all with the medical industry. So I didn't see anyone.
Holly Lamb (09:10.35)
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (09:15.041)
I didn't have any checkups, didn't check in with anyone. As far as the medical system knew, I had never, never become pregnant and never given birth. Not on my records. So that was a really interesting journey of just tapping in. And it was such a self -healing journey as well because I had to tap in consistently, constantly. Like that was my quote, medical care.
just, you know, meditating and tuning in and breathing and, you know, trusting, trusting myself and trusting, you know, my spiritual team. And eventually I made the decision to connect with a very witchy midwife who my acupuncture said like, oh, she is in full support of autonomy and she's just there.
Mostly to be honest for my partner. I started to realize like that's a lot to put on him I think I would want to be in that position personally He was totally okay with it, too. He was like, yeah, you know, he's so supportive. But anyway, so this this midwife bar came in I Think like two months before the due date so pretty close to the due date
Holly Lamb (10:15.982)
Okay.
I bet he was like, what?
Rebekah Joy (10:40.702)
And she did a couple checks and everything was looking good. And then I had, I wanted to do the water birth. So we had paid for everything and put everything on the calendar for her to come by and set up the tub one Tuesday, about a month before the due date, the alleged due date.
Holly Lamb (10:52.206)
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (11:09.789)
We were getting the house in order and I stopped. I was doing, I was working then for someone else, for an employer. And I stopped working on Friday thinking I had four weeks or so left to prepare. My partner was actually in school and about to complete his degree.
and it was 2020. So the pandemic had just begun as well. Like it was, it was, it was end of April, 2020, early May. And yeah, so that'll happen. We, we, we, he finished like his tests and my partner finished his like, you know, exams and things on Friday. I finished my job. Weekend, I started having a lot of
sensations that I didn't realize were actually contractions. And because they didn't hurt, it was just really powerful, really powerful. And it would sort of like, I would have to stop and just breathe. And I remember having a dream that weekend too, of my baby being born and...
Holly Lamb (12:08.43)
Oh wow.
Rebekah Joy (12:30.46)
Monday morning, I woke up with what felt like period cramps. This is a Monday right before the Tuesday when we're supposed to have the pool, the birthing pool installed. I woke up with cramps and they started to get a little more severe and I didn't feel the baby moving. So because of my past experience, I started to feel a little worried. So I called my midwife and we went over to her place. She lived just down the street in...
Holly Lamb (12:34.734)
Hmm.
Holly Lamb (12:52.974)
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (12:59.389)
She checked everything, she's like, no, your baby's fine. He just kicked my hand away. This is just, I forget what she called it. There's a term like false labor or something. And then she's like, no, this is false labor, because this is too soon. We really don't want the baby to come out right now. It's too soon. I was like, yeah, yeah. So I was like, okay, I felt fine. I was like, okay, I feel better. I feel better.
Holly Lamb (13:09.07)
Okay.
Holly Lamb (13:15.95)
Yeah, Braxton Hicks, I think they call him something like that. Hmm.
Rebekah Joy (13:26.173)
And then we went home, but the cramps just kept getting worse and worse. And then it was like, like lightning. It was like, oh, oh no, no, this is not false labor. This is happening. And so my partner called the midwife and she was actually, I think she was helping another client at the time. And she's like, well, you know, just measure things she can take.
Holly Lamb (13:31.726)
Heheheheh
Rebekah Joy (13:54.589)
Tylenol or something if she wants, it hurts too much. And I was adamant against anything medically involved, so I was like, no Tylenol. So, yeah, so long, very short labor. It was four hours later, I was giving birth in my bedroom, standing up, leaning over my bed, my partner caught the baby. It was wild.
Holly Lamb (13:59.214)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (14:10.446)
Wow.
Holly Lamb (14:15.63)
Heheheheh
Rebekah Joy (14:22.62)
It was wild and it was so... I mean, it's even hard, I'm sure many women can understand. It's really hard to even capture the experience of it because it felt so multi -dimensional and powerful. And there was this recognition in the happenings of the labor. I could see the part of me.
Holly Lamb (14:22.798)
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (14:40.046)
Hmm.
Rebekah Joy (14:52.348)
that was still very much caught up in like this, in the sort of, what is it called? I heard someone use the term, the reality we've all agreed on around what birth is in the current system. Like there was still part of my mind caught up in that, but then there was this other like primal part of me that was like, no, I know exactly what to do. Everything is fine.
Holly Lamb (15:05.422)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (15:20.539)
And I just, I was just sort of like observing that in a way as it was happening and there was a little bit of push pull between the two. So it was, it was kind of painful, but it really, to be honest, I've had like a toothache that was worse than that. And I think in part because like with birth, I know what's happening. Like I, there's a point to all this pain. So yeah. So.
Holly Lamb (15:42.286)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (15:50.17)
Thank you for letting me share. And now it is nearly four months later, or four years later. And for the last couple of years, I would say, definitely the last year, I've now shifted into real perimenopause. So just bleeding, you know, sort of sporadically. And I kind of gradually got here to this place.
Holly Lamb (15:51.31)
No, carry on.
Holly Lamb (16:12.206)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (16:18.894)
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (16:20.155)
And I haven't wanted to use any sort of estrogen or anything like that, like other than like natural, like I started seed cycling and doing things like that to help. The biggest thing for me has been the moods. And for me, what I've been kind of like no fucks given.
Holly Lamb (16:40.974)
Hmm.
Rebekah Joy (16:48.345)
approach to moving through this is it's felt like a birth like a birth of this bigger knowing ancient wise powerful part of me that's like at this point in life like fuck everything like I okay I was doing research all those years and now I'm here and it's time to go like it's time to break out of this and
Holly Lamb (16:55.31)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (17:06.67)
Yes.
Holly Lamb (17:10.926)
Mmm. Mmm.
Rebekah Joy (17:17.944)
It's so funny because it's like... I mean funny. It's not really funny in the moment of the worst moods, but I always know, like this is... I can't pretend anymore. I can't hide anymore. I can't diminish my feelings anymore. Like all the things, like they're just, they're just there. These, these quote moods or feelings or emotions are there to tell me like, does this feel good?
Holly Lamb (17:32.046)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (17:42.862)
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (17:47.512)
No, extreme no, right? Does this feel good? Yeah, I love that, you know, and just allowing the mood swings to be information and guidance.
Holly Lamb (17:47.566)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (18:02.222)
Mm -hmm. Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (18:05.272)
I mean, the challenge, I'm curious to hear more from you around that. For me, the challenge is navigating that in a busy life, you know, with a four -year -old, with work and relationships and things like that. Sometimes it feels like my fault, to be honest. Like, hey, how am I gonna get through this?
Holly Lamb (18:22.894)
Mm. Yeah.
It's a lot, it's a lot to deal with. Yeah. Especially, and especially as women are having children later in life now. So some women are having three and four year olds and then start going through perimenopause. Cause the average age in the UK, which is similar to the U S is you'll, you can start symptoms at 45. So it's, it's around the right age. And it's so true with what you said with how you're feeling, you get to a point where you can't hide your true self anymore.
Rebekah Joy (18:34.328)
Thank you.
Holly Lamb (18:56.366)
And you do speak your mind because you've got to a point in life where you don't care. And not that it's coming from a place of, I don't care and it'll hurt people. It's just coming from a place of these are my boundaries. And I think for a lot of women, boundaries is such a difficult thing to put in place when for years they have struggled to just be the yes woman, to just be the people pleaser. So it's turning that around and seeing how you can navigate this next phase of life.
with compassion, but also putting yourself first, which again can be difficult when you have younger children. But if you have a good partnership, like it sounds like you do with your husband, the more you can speak to him about what's going on, about how you're feeling, the more you can come together where he can be like, right, you can go and have an hour off and go and do something for you. And it just recharges.
your battery so you can fill up your cup and you can come back and be the best version of you without feeling all this pressure of, I have to do this, I have to do this, I have to do this, which is what we as women just do automatically. We just automatically do it and we're not in our feminine enough. We're more in our masculine when we are in that. So if you are able to lean on your partner in times like that, you can step into your feminine. You can feel more held and it's not about,
It's not about men taking over and women being in a certain role. It's just feeling into your feminine energy more and allowing him to do certain things as well. I don't know if that kind of resonates with you at all.
Rebekah Joy (20:34.581)
It totally does. Yeah, I love everything that you're saying. Something that came to me as we were talking or I was remembering was it feels a lot like stepping into purpose. Like all of this that's coming up is around if you're not completely aligned in your purpose, we're going to keep you on track with your purpose is what it kind of feels like.
Holly Lamb (20:50.478)
Mmm.
Holly Lamb (21:03.566)
Mm.
Rebekah Joy (21:03.733)
And I do feel really fortunate to have such a supportive present partner. And I've been thinking a lot about moms who are parents who don't have, but especially moms who are going through this process, like who don't have that partner support in the ways to prioritize self -care. And I think...
For me, there's been like a real mind shift that I'm continuing to transform because women are so strong and there is this desire to like sort of mother the whole community or, you know, or take care or like be the one who takes care and prioritizing.
Holly Lamb (21:37.518)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (21:44.654)
Hmm.
Rebekah Joy (21:53.525)
I mean, it sounds like the word itself, like just, I feel like it's used so often, like prioritize self care, but prioritizing, maybe like radically prioritizing, which for me means getting up at 4 .30 or five or like whatever time I need to be available for myself when it's just me, feels like,
Holly Lamb (22:00.366)
Mm.
Rebekah Joy (22:22.229)
what's gotten me through. And I've noticed like there are times where I have felt like, oh my gosh, but I'm just, this is too early, like especially in the winter, it's too early, it's cold, I'm sleepy, it's, you know, it's dark. But there are so many other things in life that...
Holly Lamb (22:34.126)
Mm.
Rebekah Joy (22:41.717)
we wouldn't make excuses for, right? Like we had to get up and get somebody to school or get up and get ourselves to work or whatever it is. Anything like involving other people and our responsibilities with them. We don't come up with excuses for those. So yeah, almost like I almost feel like they're maybe my higher self or something lately because I've really struggled to get up lately and I don't know if it's the time change or what.
Holly Lamb (22:45.678)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (22:55.566)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (23:11.022)
Mm, yeah, I think Eclipse and everything this past week, last week was a complete write off for me, like a complete write off. I was so tired, but I was like, okay, I'm evolving, something's happening. And then next week I'm like, I'm fine, I'm fine. So yeah, I get it. Mm.
Rebekah Joy (23:13.653)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (23:17.557)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (23:24.789)
Yeah, yeah. And it's good to rest. I mean, it's good, definitely important to get more sleep and more rest and more, you know, but for me, like, what I've noticed is just this, this like reminder has gotten really strong lately of like, because I've been sleeping later, like, no, get up. Getting up is not going to make you tired. Getting up now before it deals with that is going to actually, you know, energize you and you'll be able to sink into, you know, your power.
Holly Lamb (23:42.734)
Mm.
Rebekah Joy (23:54.421)
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (23:57.454)
Yeah, no, I totally get that. It's funny what you said about, we'll put everybody else first and do other things for other people. But when it comes to putting you first, it's classed as like feeling selfish. And it's really not, it's because we live in a society where if you have like a lazy day or you're just taking time for you, oh, you're lazy, you should be doing something. And it's like, no, actually as women, we need more rest than men generally. Like the eight hours thing is for men, not for women.
And especially around the time of menstruation and the week before, you need more sleep, 100%. So putting yourself first and prioritizing that is not selfish in the slightest. And it's quite funny, the thing you said at the start about you had that conversation and then your period came back, basically. Since I dove into menstrual cycle awareness a lot, my cycle has regulated now.
So it's between 27 and 29 days when it used to be all over the place because we've honed in on listening to the body and listening to you. And it's, it's sorted itself out because I've listened to it and I've not tried to go against it. So that's why I think this work is so important now. So if you're in perimenopause before you get to that post -menopause stage, if you can start to listen to your intuition, listen to your body now.
It will serve you going forward. And it clearly did with you with what happened with conceiving and then moving forward with what's, what's happening in perimenopause now.
Rebekah Joy (25:32.526)
Yeah, it's so magical. It feels like the more we tune in, the more I tune in with how my body feels, the more I understand what to do in life. Basically, like those moments, those weeks of, and I've really appreciated your podcast and listening to, I think one of your first ones.
Holly Lamb (25:35.31)
Hmm.
Holly Lamb (25:44.75)
Hmm. Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (25:53.134)
you were talking about cycling with the moon, which was super helpful for me because I don't, I've only bled, you know, maybe like three times in the past year. And so using the moon as a way to, to guide my energy and just noticing I'm in, I guess I think I'm in my second month now of doing that. And I'm noticing the ebbs and flows and the moon cycle sort of just gave me permission to be, to rest.
Holly Lamb (25:54.158)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (26:01.838)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (26:10.926)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (26:15.534)
Yeah. Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (26:20.526)
And that makes all the difference. It makes me think about Tricia Hersey's Rest is Resistance. Yes, isn't that phrase beautiful? So this is a book by the woman who started the nap ministry. They have a really great Instagram to check out, but it's just all about how rest.
Holly Lamb (26:26.67)
Mm -hmm. Oh, I'm not heard that.
Mmm.
Holly Lamb (26:36.654)
Okay.
Holly Lamb (26:41.71)
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (26:47.342)
as kind of as you're saying, like rest and taking care of ourselves has has there's been this narrative around it of it being selfish. Like there's always some you need to get stuff to you know, the Industrial Revolution and the capitalistic system and all of this push toward productivity and productivity and like work, work, work has sort of demonized rest and self care and yet.
Holly Lamb (26:56.814)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (27:00.942)
Mm. Mm.
Rebekah Joy (27:14.286)
Do we really want to keep upholding this idea that we need to be constant producers for the system? No. So just that phrase alone, and the book is really beautiful, but that phrase, rest is resistance. I came across it a couple years ago, I think, or whenever the book came out. And I...
Holly Lamb (27:22.222)
Hmm.
Rebekah Joy (27:37.486)
It sort of gave me permission and I started really thinking about the power of rest and the power of relaxation and the power of just doing whatever it is that brings us to that state of ease and rest. And I actually have this book that I've been working on for the last couple of years.
Holly Lamb (27:47.278)
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (28:04.334)
There's a little free like excerpt of the book that I've packaged as a three day sort of like guide. But that is just around like having daily practices that tuning in and journaling and breathing and some movement that prioritizes coming back into a state of rest, which is also about nervous system regulation, right? Like regulating your nervous system so that you can.
Holly Lamb (28:18.99)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (28:25.166)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (28:28.846)
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
Rebekah Joy (28:33.518)
Enjoy your fucking life. Really?
Holly Lamb (28:35.502)
Yeah, yeah. Because that's what it's about. It's not about working eight hours a day and having two holidays a year if you're lucky. Like find the things that bring you joy every day because then your life just becomes so much better. Gratitude, like I just bang on about gratitude all the time. But the more in gratitude you are, the better your life becomes because you appreciate all the small moments. So when the big things happen, you just appreciate them so much more.
which I think is great. And especially in perimenopause, I've been reading a book called The Rushing Woman. And that's basically about how we do need to slow down and it dives into a bit more of the science and how if our cortisol levels are just constantly, constantly, constantly raised, we're always in fight or flight and we can never regulate our nervous system and bring it back down. And then this is why I think so many women have such strong reactions when they go into perimenopause because the symptoms overtake,
their nervous system because they've never learned to cope with it before it's got to that point. So this is why it's so important to slow down, to rest and just to have those conversations if you have a partner or with family, if you haven't got a partner and you've got children, just being like, I need a couple of hours, I need a day, I need whatever it is, even if it's an hour to yourself, that will just help to calm you down. And then the more you do it, the better you get at it.
because every woman should be able to take time for rest and relaxation without feeling guilty. Because why should we? Why should we feel guilty for putting ourselves first when we put everybody else first for years and years and years?
Rebekah Joy (30:17.166)
Yeah.
It's so funny to me, like, just how the hack to living life, you know, fully embodied and is so simple. And like these adages we've heard our whole lives, right? Like, enjoy the journey. You know, all these simple things. I was thinking about this in recent years, like, I remember hearing these things my whole life, these little phrases of like, yeah, like, stop and smell the roses. And it like, sort of like you hear them so much like, yeah, okay, whatever. I've got the
Holly Lamb (30:24.718)
Mmm.
Holly Lamb (30:31.918)
Mmm. Yeah.
Holly Lamb (30:44.174)
Mmm.
Rebekah Joy (30:47.984)
things to do. But at this point in life, in perimenopause and just this age, I think of changing, it's... yeah, they feel so profound. And they, when you, when we really let them just like sink deep into our hearts, like yeah.
Holly Lamb (30:48.942)
Ha ha ha ha!
Holly Lamb (30:57.678)
Hmm.
Rebekah Joy (31:07.47)
What does it even mean to enjoy the journey? What does that mean to me? That's then like a whole deep dive, right? Like enjoy yourself. How do I enjoy myself?
Holly Lamb (31:11.822)
Mm.
Mm.
Holly Lamb (31:18.702)
Yeah, exactly. And it sounds like obviously your experience with like the pseudo perimenopause and then this perimenopause is quite different. What would you say are like the kind of main differences that you felt going through actual menopause to like induced menopause?
Rebekah Joy (31:37.39)
Yeah, that's a really interesting question. When I was in the pseudo menopause, I wasn't actually experiencing the mood swings as much. It felt more physical, like the dryness in the, like everywhere, my whole body, inside and out. The dryness, the hot flashes, the inability to sleep.
Holly Lamb (31:51.342)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (31:57.294)
Hmm.
Holly Lamb (32:03.502)
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (32:04.206)
Those were the main things then. This round, this round it's the mood swings. It's not so much the physical. And I think it's in part because I'm much healthier now. I mean, I eat really well and I move and I don't really drink too much anymore. So I'm taking really good care of my body. And then, you know, I was just coming out of chemo, which is not good for the body. And I had, yeah, I wasn't eating.
Holly Lamb (32:13.294)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (32:29.646)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (32:33.902)
eating super well or doing much at all for my body and I was so I was feeling it physically. And I don't know, I mean, I was I was pretty happy.
Holly Lamb (32:36.654)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (32:45.07)
I was newly in love and newly free of cancer. And so I was pretty happy. Like it was ending the chemo and like coming out of that and recognizing like I have this new lease on life and like all these possibilities. And so I was really happy and I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what that does with mood, right? Like.
Holly Lamb (32:50.158)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (33:09.038)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (33:10.734)
this is a question I have, like is, are the mood swings a mechanism to sort of steer me in a different direction than where I am in my life? And is like those times of calm and ease and less of the ups and downs.
Holly Lamb (33:21.582)
Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (33:34.67)
Does that mean I'm on the right track? Like how much of it is purely hormonal and how much of it is like my soul guiding me? You know what I mean?
Holly Lamb (33:42.542)
Yeah, yeah. Which is hard because obviously when you're in perimenopause, your hormones have a part to play. We can't get away from that because they, like before they would just go up and down, up and down, keeps everything regulated to a degree. Whereas in perimenopause, one day you'll be up here and the next day you'll be down here. But if you've got the tools in your toolbox to help you with the mood swings, which it sounds like you have, they will never be as bad as someone who maybe doesn't have those. So.
Rebekah Joy (33:49.39)
Love you, then. Love you.
Holly Lamb (34:12.494)
Yes, to a degree, it will be hormonal. But then I do think to some degree, if you're constantly feeling a certain way and it keeps bringing you back to that emotion, then there probably is something there that you need to focus in on and think, what is it? So for me last week, like when the world fell apart, the eclipse and like the week, it was like week from hell and I just was so tired and I was like, I need to not do anything.
So I didn't post anything. I did stories, but I didn't post anything on my Instagram because I needed to take the rest. So I did. Because probably before when it was like, you need to rest, you need to rest, I probably didn't. I probably pushed through it. So that was my body going, okay, now you're having a week off because I'm going to make you. Because I literally couldn't keep my eyes open. So yeah, I think if the same emotions and the same things keep coming up, like with anything, with any triggers, when they keep coming up, we have to look at those and see.
How do I move through that? Because there's a lesson here to be learned. Yeah. So yeah, a bit of both, a little bit of both.
Rebekah Joy (35:10.403)
Yeah, yeah, I love that. Just listening, listening more and more.
Holly Lamb (35:21.006)
Yeah, just listen to your body more. And it is women, and especially in this society, we don't, it's a lost art. So I kind of want to bring that back to the forefront and just get women to tune in more and like go to women's circles and things like that. It's such a magical place and you don't always have to share. You can just sit and just be until you get to that point where you feel like you want to share.
Rebekah Joy (35:35.139)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (35:38.755)
Thank you.
Holly Lamb (35:46.83)
your story and why you're there. Because I think they are such powerful places, whether it's in person or online. But I think in person is so much better. I feel like there's a lot more women craving in person connections, togetherness. And maybe that's come from the pandemic when everything was online and now we want more human interaction because we need it.
Rebekah Joy (36:09.954)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (36:10.062)
We do need it to connect with other women. And if you connect with other women and speak about perimenopause, you'll realize that you're not the only one going through this. Every woman is experiencing this to some degree. And I read a really good book. I talk about it all the time called Wise Power by yes, Alexandra and Sharni from the Red School. That course I'm doing with them at the moment. And I read it and I was like, this book is about me. It was like they were speaking to me about my...
Rebekah Joy (36:18.594)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (36:26.946)
Yes, yes, it's on my list.
Holly Lamb (36:39.95)
early menopause journey and I was like, this is so weird. So yeah, the book is fantastic and I literally read it in a few days because I couldn't put it down. So I highly recommend that to anyone struggling a bit with the transition through perimenopause. That would be a really good book to tune into. So I'd like to just finish on one question, if I may.
Rebekah Joy (36:43.874)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (36:59.04)
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (37:04.814)
So what advice would you give to any woman who maybe has been in a similar position to you, maybe went through some kind of pseudo menopause for whatever reason, what would you, what maybe two or three bits of advice would you give to her in order to show that you can come out the other side like you did and you can embrace it?
Rebekah Joy (37:30.4)
Oh gosh, yeah, I think kind of just a continuation of what we've been talking about first and foremost to make the space to sit with yourself in a state in a safe space where you feel like you can relax and rest and do that every day, even if it's for 10 minutes, 15 minutes. So that's one because I think.
Holly Lamb (37:43.534)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (37:50.222)
Mm.
Rebekah Joy (38:00.128)
the nervous system regulation piece of wellness and balance and homeostasis in the body, the need to feel safe comes through rest and relaxation. And what that looks like, you know, can be different for everybody. I mean, some days what I have to do to get to that space of rest and relaxation is move my body. And so that piece of it is really important. And
Holly Lamb (38:09.038)
Hmm.
Mm -hmm.
Rebekah Joy (38:29.95)
Yeah, I guess I'll say the thing that sort of triggered me on this journey. Don't believe everything they tell you. Anything is possible. Anything is possible. And I feel like with everything that I've experienced in life thus far, it continues to be clear to me, anything is possible. And if you believe that, it just makes the journey it opens up the doors.
Holly Lamb (38:37.614)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (38:59.326)
You know, it doesn't mean that that all the outcomes are going to be exactly as you think they should or exactly as you think you want them to be. I think they're going to be even better. I think they're they're even better just allowing for for all the good that's that's available. Rest.
Holly Lamb (38:59.406)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (39:17.55)
Amazing. I love that. That's such a lovely thing to finish on. Thank you so much. So if anybody wants to check out Rebecca, she's got some exciting things coming up soon. Her Instagram is art .joy .haul, but I'll pop it in the show notes. And if you want to talk about anything that you've got coming up, how people might be able to connect with you further.
Rebekah Joy (39:44.094)
Sure, yeah. I don't know if anyone listening is in the Chicago area, but if you are, I do in -person, I call them relaxation activations. Sometimes the word relaxation doesn't sound as potent and powerful to everyone, but to me, relaxation is like the core of personal power and healing. So I do Reiki and craniosacral. I'm also certified as a massage therapist.
Holly Lamb (39:59.086)
you
Rebekah Joy (40:13.693)
therapist and a shiatsu therapist. But I tend to focus more on the energy and like just gentle touch. And it's a really beautiful way to be able to like just come back almost instantly into your body and regulate your nervous system. It's so good. I've seen so much, so much healing come through those sessions. But for all those who are not in the Chicago area, I have,
launched really into my calling and my purpose as a writer. And so what I write is partially my story and the things that I do and the ways that I live my life with all of the different opportunities that I've been given to heal and to learn and grow as a human. A lot of it feels very channeled to me.
Holly Lamb (41:07.566)
Mm.
Rebekah Joy (41:08.252)
Um, and so I'm just really excited to like offer myself and my story out to the world as a way for, um, for anyone reading and anyone tuning in to recognize like the full spectrum of the human experience is okay and is beautiful and is just part of our, our, our whole purpose for being here. I just,
Holly Lamb (41:35.694)
Mm.
Rebekah Joy (41:38.267)
I just want all of us, this is why I call myself a self -love activist, I just want all of us to love ourselves deeply and fully, unconditionally, all the time. And that is what I am writing about at the end of the day. Like the foundation of everything is like...
Holly Lamb (41:48.078)
Yeah.
Holly Lamb (41:53.678)
Mm -hmm.
Holly Lamb (42:01.55)
Mm.
Rebekah Joy (42:03.993)
all of this happened, I felt all of this, all of that happened, you know, all these things come up and love yourself, love yourself. That's the way through. So there's a lot of writing that's available online. I'm launching my website this week. I also have the free version of my book of ease that I mentioned earlier. That's a really cool way to just.
Holly Lamb (42:13.038)
Yeah.
Rebekah Joy (42:31.257)
kind of get into if you're on your own and don't have any local support or guidance, just a way to really like tune in and find your center of ease. So there's practices and guided journal prompts and things like that in the book. And yeah, eventually I want to do some online workshops to bring community together around this, sort of focused around the topic of
Holly Lamb (42:56.206)
Hmm.
Rebekah Joy (43:01.368)
rest and ease and and self -love in particular I work with men too, but in particular for women Going through this phase of life and just women in general because being a woman is Powerful and a lot and we need each other we need each other. Yeah
Holly Lamb (43:13.07)
Mm.
Holly Lamb (43:20.814)
You
Holly Lamb (43:24.782)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's all about women lifting women up, 100%. Love that. Well, thank you so much for joining me, Rebecca. It's been amazing. I've loved listening to your story and getting to know you more. Thank you so much for joining me.
Rebekah Joy (43:29.816)
Yes.
Rebekah Joy (43:37.336)
You guys. Thank you so much. Thank you for everything you're doing.
Holly Lamb (43:43.47)
Thank you. Thanks everybody. That's it for episode seven. Join me next week for episode eight.