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What I ate last week
NEWS / UPDATES
I contradicted myself last week when I said I was tired of aspirational, romanticized food content yet criticized Martha Stewart’s photo taking abilities. She is keeping it 100. She is real. Actually, nobody teach her how to use her phone camera. I mean, the food looks terrible, but it’s real.
Cookie Medallion Speculoos Filled Chris’s
Insane product name that makes it sounds like a cookie from Ruth’s Chris’s steak house
https://www.chriscookies.com/ is a NJ bakery that has raspberry medallion shown on banner but not listed as a product. They have a medallion style cookie shown on their “about” page. The Whole Foods cookie bar cookies are very dry and Italian in style, making me think they are from a northern bakery.
Speculoos filling is basically a cookie butter
If this is true and we have a northeastern cookie pipeline, let’s get some black & white and rainbow cookies down here.
Freezing sweet potatoes / cans of candied yams
Minute Maid discontinued
https://ruthreichl.substack.com/p/stormy-weather beef stew
I don’t have any health code updates this week but Brian did mention that in the mall kiosk workers used to walk up to you with a metal scalp massager and put it on your head which sounds like a great way to spread lice throughout the mall
Valentine’s Day is coming / You Quack Me Up
Guy fieri’s new look
SCENTS
Daddy: Toasted Strawberry Poptarts (early 90s cookies from McDonalds happy meals, lorna doones)
Wrote a poem about my other cat, who doesn’t smell like anything nice
Sung to the tune of Silver Bells
Redtail hawks / sometimes stalk / my obese cat in the driveway
Death is near / do not fear / you’re too fat to be taken away
Diptyque L’eau de Neroli: Neroli, Bergamot, Orange blossom, Beeswax; I don’t think I ordered this one, but I did order many other neroli perfumes, so maybe this was a replacement for something or a bonus. It’s lovely, subtle, distant, powdery. This would be great layered over the La Labo Bergamot, which I initially shrugged at, maybe because of Reddit users saying that this was a fuckboy scent, but I wore it again last week on a cold day and the muskiness was very welcome. I was going to resell my samples but maybe I should revisit them all. They say you need to taste things twice.
Van Cleef & Arpels Neroli Amara: Smells like a flavored margarita from Chili’s; blood orange flavor or a juice concentrate / additive. Initially much too juicy for me, but does fade nicely.
“A symphony of sunny notes”
Top notes: Italian lemon, Mandarin, Bergamot
Heart notes: Pink peppercorn, Cypress
Base note: Orange blossom absolute
Apparently neroli is one of the flavors in Coca Cola https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neroli
Petitgrain oil used to be in Pepsi https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petitgrain
INTERNET
Dua Lipa modified Diet Coke https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8adYXWm/
Snappy Lunch 2nd oldest sit down in NC https://maps.app.goo.gl/qQG9r2UWyNrHSFZx8?g_st=ic
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8a7fSa4/
90 Day Diaries Josh, an “extremely young 44” trafficker’s son got in a bad car accident and kept saying “they had to take his leg” which makes it sound like the hospital needed it for something. Maybe he was a leg donor.
NYT Recipe for energy bars: Any edible bar is an energy bar. Any food is energy food. Sounds like a video game resource.
Welcome home miss Karen; size 72 comic sans
January 26, 2026 (Monday)
9am: Leftover coffee with half & half and two sunny eggs on two small slices of seeded Forbidden Rice sourdough toasted in butter, made at home.
12pm: Stacy’s parmesan and garlic pita chips with Kalona French onion dip, and blueberries.
4pm: A glass of Musto Carmelitano Aglianico del Vulture 'Pian del Moro'.
https://www.northberkeleyimports.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/MUSTO-CARMELITANO_piandelmoro.pdf
5pm: Baked shells with Italian sausage, tomato sauce made with DaniCoop Gustarosso San Marzano tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, and parmesan, made at home.
https://www.gustiamo.com/dop-san-marzano-tomatoes-by-danicoop-2/?srsltid=AfmBOooec-GFf_jZAcKwPJYVv5w65oCRkeVnY4QmlWA-3Bn-KuRyVPRK
7pm: Blue Bell Cherry Vanilla ice cream.
January 27, 2026 (Tuesday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
9am: A bowl of bran flakes with milk.
1pm: Stacy’s pita chip crumbs.
3:30pm: A spicy soft potato taco and a Volcano Quesarito with slow roasted chicken from Taco Bell in Oxford, North Carolina.
Brian’s parents called about a heart-related health scare and asking us to come eat Mexican food; which is an insane activity for someone with an active heart-related health scare; while I was housing Taco Bell and a sheet of ice fell on their windshield and they started screaming and had to pull off the side of the road. Jeremy renner app. Food poisoning. Brian Jordan Alvarez mexican restaurant in a walmart strip mall parking lot. Every mexican restaurant within a 30 mile radius of me is called Toros and nobody specifies which one they’re going to and I’m 99% sure they have different owners.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Renner_Official
The Jeremy Renner Official app was a 2017 mobile platform created for fans to interact directly with the actor, which was shut down in September 2019. Developed by Escapex, it featured exclusive content, a social feed, and in-app purchases for "stars" to boost user comments. The app was shuttered following intense, uncontrollable trolling and bullying.
Key Details About the App:
Purpose: It was designed as a dedicated social media space for "Renheads" to receive updates and interact with Jeremy Renner.
The "Stars" System: Users could buy in-app currency to make their comments more visible to Renner, which was criticized for its "pay-to-play" nature.
Downfall: The app became plagued by impersonators, malicious users, and spam after a technical flaw allowed for manipulated notifications.
Shutdown: Renner officially shut down the app in September 2019, stating it had become "everything I detest".
4:30pm: A pour of Modelo, tortilla chips and queso, and chile verde with refried beans at Toros Cantina in Oxford, North Carolina.
January 28, 2026 (Wednesday)
8am: Leftover coffee with half & half.
11:30am: Leftover baked shells.
Cake room: Nothing, but the room smelled like a Legal Sea Foods. Specifically stuffies or baked clams with garlic and butter.
4pm: A leftover Beefy Loaded Potato Griller from Taco Bell.
350 in the oven for like 20 mins.
NCSU Cherry Research Station small farms unit catering: Fried chicken, green beans, boiled potatoes made by a random woman. Brian said they were the best green beans and potatoes he’s ever had (???).
7pm: Frozen Screamin’ Sicilian pepperoni pizza and romaine lettuce with parmesan and creamy caesar dressing, made at home.
January 29, 2026 (Thursday)
8am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home.
9:30am: A leftover Cheesy Double Beef Burrito from Taco Bell.
1pm: Leftover frozen pizza.
6pm: Panko crusted chicken tenders, napa cabbage slaw, and fry sauce with banana pepper vinegar, made at home.
8pm: A coffee caramel cookie from Whole Foods.
This cookie was kind of gross. Watched about 40 mins of whole food cookie bar reviews trying to find the name of this cookie to no avail.
Laurie Colwin mustard baked chicken https://sprungatlast.com/2015/01/laurie-colwins-mustard-baked-chicken/
Chicken coating:
2TB Grey Poupon dijon mustard
Pinch of cinnamon
1 tsp garlic powder
1 egg
1TB water
Basically raisin canes sauce. First time I had raisin canes in Ohio hunting convention
January 30, 2026 (Friday)
8am: Stok cold brew with half & half and a bowl of bran flakes with milk.
This tastes like coffee flavor in liquid form. How a dunkin donuts smells.
Cake room: NYT Page-a-Day recipes for Roasted Turkey Meatballs With Mozzarella and Scallions, Vegan Caesar Salad With Crisp Chickpeas, Caldo Verde (Potato and Greens Soup With Sausage)
1pm: A chicken marsala sandwich with lemon parsley ricotta, chicken cutlets, and oyster and baby bella mushroom marsala sauce from Ideal’s in Durham, North Carolina.
Maybe a little of arugula on there would have been nice.
General strike – so many small businesses and independent restaurants that I follow on instagram closed for the day, but a few, many of whom are owned by folks I’ve worked with in the past, are remaining open so that their employees can avoid missing a day of paid work and so that the small businesses themselves can pay rent during a very slow month with multiple other shutdowns due to snow and weather. Some angry comments, countered by labor organizers who noted that this vaguely general strike organized by internet people only hurts the small businesses that participate; large companies will continue to remain open regardless and often be the only option for spending if small businesses want to or feel they should close. I went into work because my job doesn’t matter, and not going into work would have zero affect on anything. If anything, I thought maybe I should support a struggling local business today, especially since last weekend and this coming weekend were and will be full of closures due to weather. Or is this just me making an excuse to go buy a sandwich?
Speaking of ice, I am also against the element ice, which almost caused brian to slide away into the woods. I kept sliding down the hill. Brian cartoon fell backwards at work.
2:30pm: Two Malvi passionfruit flavored marshmallows.
These originally retailed for $3.99 but were on sale for $1.79. Absolutely divine texture. Subtle flavor. Wish it was a touch more tart. Raspberry powder dusting.
6pm: Leftover chicken tenders with a Cook Out Buffalo sauce mayonnaise, leftover slaw over baby arugula, a sliver of Ideal’s rosemary focaccia, and a slice of leftover frozen pepperoni pizza.
Focaccia was day old and sort of dry, which shouldn’t happen with focaccia. Ok fermentation. Needed a higher hydration. Used to make a high hydration focaccia at Good Ambler that took the entire shift, stretch and folds all day, that was super pillowy and tall. Hard to find a focaccia that doesn’t feel dense after that.
7pm: A Malvi marshmallow, half of a Cookie Medallion Speculoos Filled Chris’s, and a cup of Earl gray tea with half & half, made at home.
January 31, 2026 (Saturday)
9am: Counter Culture coffee with half & half, made at home, seeded Forbidden Rice sourdough toasted in butter, scrambled eggs, and half of an avocado, made at home.
Butter sizzling in a pan smells like hot dogs to me from when my mom would cook hot dogs in butter when I was little.
11:30am: A slice of banana bread with Isigny Sainte-Mère butter, made at home.
2pm: My Three Sons fiery jalapeno pimento cheese, Marieke truffle gouda, Firefly Farms Cabra Lamancha, and Saxon Homestead Creamery Hika Bay with Whole Foods assorted entertainment crackers, and a glass of Pian del Moro.
https://www.mtsgourmet.com/about-us (wouldn’t say it’s fiery)
Couldn’t find anything about Hika Bay besides it being a gouda style
8pm: Buttered popcorn with chili lime seasoning, made at home.
BANANA BREAD
What recipe to make? Trapped in my house with rotting bananas like it’s still 2020
Typically make Dorie Greenspan or BA’s best banana bread
Sally’s Baking Addiction didn’t score well on Pancake Princess
Flour Bakery won Pancake Princess test; again, I don’t understand why the highest score is a 7.6 out of 10; are we surveying people who hate banana bread and asking them which one they hate the least? Is there no recipe that would be universally loved?
Seriouseats got the worst score. Smitten Kitchen was super low. My mom is always sending me their recipes.
Boston public radio banana story https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP85P8gfn/
Good ambler travel cake; tried to throw away a sheet tray of truly rotten bananas and got in trouble; butter line, frosted and frozen, and then dipped in a ganache; Pistachio raspberry, banana bread, lemon raspberry
Called tea bread at whole foods
Holier than though competitive sets the tone of the kitchen and makes for a terrible work environment
https://doriegreenspan.com/recipe/a-cake-you-can-take-with-you-anywhere/
https://bakingcat.wordpress.com/2012/10/09/banana-bread-from-tartine/
February 23 is National Banana Bread Day in the United States
Even if you don’t add nuts to the banana bread, the very taste of banana bread alone evokes the sense of biting into an undertoasted walnut; so don’t bother adding them
Ingredient
Flour Bakery Banana Bread
Tartine Banana Bread
My Version
All-purpose flour
~1½–1⅔ cups
1 cup + 2 Tbsp
1 cup + 2 Tbsp
Cornstarch
—
2 Tbsp
2 Tbsp
Baking soda
1 tsp
1 tsp
1 tsp
Baking powder
—
2 tsp
2 tsp
Salt
½ tsp
½ tsp
1 tsp Diamond Crystal kosher salt
Cinnamon
¼ tsp
1 tsp
1 tsp
Five spice
—
—
½ tsp
Sugar (white)
~1 cup + 2 Tbsp
~¾ cup + 2 Tbsp
½ cup + 2TB
Brown sugar
—
—
½ cup light brown sugar
Eggs
Fat
½ cup neutral oil
~6 Tbsp olive oil
½ cup peanut oil
Bananas
3½ very ripe
3 medium ripe
3 very ripe, mashed
Sour cream / yogurt
2 Tbsp sour cream
—
2 TB yogurt
Vanilla extract
1 tsp
1½ tsp
2 tsp
Mix-ins
¾ cup walnuts
Optional walnuts/chocolate
3 oz dark chocolate, chopped
Topping
—
Banana slice + sugar
—
MY VERSION OF BANANA BREAD
Tartine ratios and Flour method
1 cup and 2 tablespoons flour
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon Diamond Crystal kosher salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon five spice
½ cup sugar
½ cup light brown sugar
2 eggs
½ cup peanut oil
3 very ripe bananas, mashed
2 tablespoons yogurt
2 teaspoons vanilla
3 ounces Tony’s dark chocolate, chopped
Whip eggs and sugar for about five minutes, until light and fully
Meanwhile, combine wet ingredients in a bowl: bananas, vanilla, yogurt
Combine dry ingredients in a separate bowl: flour, cornstarch, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, five spice
Slowly add oil on low speed
Slowly add wet on low speed
Fold in dry and chocolate
Bake in a buttered and parchment-lined loaf pan at 325 for about an hour or until bread reads 200-210 degrees fahrenheit. I sprinkled about 2 tablespoons of sugar on the loaf halfway through the baking time and rotated the loaf pan. Best served with salted butter.
February 1, 2026 (Sunday)
9am: Stok cold brew with half & half and olive oil toasted rosemary focaccia from Ideal’s with avocado, made at home.
12pm: A slice of leftover banana bread with Isigny Sainte-Mère butter.
2:30pm: Leftover popcorn.
4pm: Spicy Big Tray Chicken with rice noodles, made at home.
6:30pm: A small piece of Tony’s milk chocolate and Blue Bell coffee ice cream with malt.
Spicy Big Tray Chicken additions: sesame seeds, knob of ginger, nappa cabbage
Didn’t have potatoes, which is the best part, since it completely absorbs all of the flavor. Used a full pound of rice noodles, which absorbed most of the liquid and made more of a saucy experience than a soupy one. Cabbage basically disintegrated.
Cleaning out the spice cabinet and tossed dried juniper berries that I collected four winters ago from our juniper trees and a mysterious container of less than a teaspoon white powder that Brian put in a tupperware container and abandoned for the rest of time, as he often does. I transferred a container of white peppercorns to an empty peppergrinder that my dad mailed me. He had an OXO pepper grinder but stopped using it because he prefers that plastic grinder that it comes in from the grocery store. Now I have three pepper grinders, one for black pepper, one for white, and one for szechuan peppercorns.