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Send us a text Ever felt the pressure to be perfect, only to realize that authenticity is the real path to freedom? Join me, as I share my personal journey of growth and healing, inspired by faith, therapy, and self-care. In this episode, I unveil the intriguing "winter arc" trend—a transformative approach for setting goals and fostering spiritual growth as the new year approaches. Drawing from my experiences as a minister's kid, I also explore the impact of striving for perfect...
Ever felt the pressure to be perfect, only to realize that authenticity is the real path to freedom? Join me, as I share my personal journey of growth and healing, inspired by faith, therapy, and self-care.
In this episode, I unveil the intriguing "winter arc" trend—a transformative approach for setting goals and fostering spiritual growth as the new year approaches.
Drawing from my experiences as a minister's kid, I also explore the impact of striving for perfection and the liberating power of embracing our imperfections. My generation's thirst for genuine truth drives this episode's candid discussions, where I invite you to connect with me on this journey of self-discovery.
Facing trauma is a challenging journey, but I share my story with the hope that it might inspire you to gather the strength to take a step toward progress. Remember, with the presence of Christ, there are no limits to what you can conquer.
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, welcome
to episode two of the.
Well, I'm your host, drew
Gabrielle, and I'm so happy that
you are with me today.
I'm really excited about this
episode.
I know that I had said October
25th and I kind of went back on
that.
My fault.
I filmed an episode and then I
completely like trashed it
because I got scared and I
posted about this a little bit
on Instagram, just about like my
story and the things that I
want to share about what I've
experienced in my life, and I
just felt like in that moment I
needed to have like a powwow
with the Lord before I released
it, and I also felt like I was
kind of all over the place and I
felt like it was lacking order.
I was going from one place to
the next and I just felt like
the Lord needed to minister to
me about how to go about it.
And so what I'm going to be
doing is kind of starting a
series of different testimonies
in my life of how the Lord has
impacted me through his word,
through encounters with him and
things of that nature, because
there's a lot of things that I
can go into that have impacted
me.
And so today I want to talk
about holding things in.
But before I do that, I want to
talk about something that I
have seen on TikTok lately, and
it's this trend called the
winter arc trend, and I had no
idea what this trend was until
it started going viral on TikTok
.
It's the first time I've ever
heard of it, and basically what
the winter arc is is when the
coldest months of the year hit
right October, november,
december.
It's a time where you quote,
lock in and you set yourself up
for success so that when the new
year starts, you're ready to go
.
You're already in that
headspace, and so there's a
bunch of people online talking
about goals that they have for
their winter arc and how they're
locking in and all of that.
You basically go mute per se
and you get your life in order
as far as like the areas where
you feel like need order.
And so for my winter arc and
this is not something that I see
many people talking about, or
maybe they have, I just haven't
come across it but doing my
winter arc with God, how am I
going to set myself up for
success when it comes to growing
in that area of my life?
And so one of the things that I
have planned to do is or I'm
trying to do is, going back to
church on a regular basis.
There are a few reasons why I
have been like kind of
distancing myself from the
physical church building.
It has nothing to do with my
church I have an amazing church
but I found that during my work
in therapy a lot of things were
coming up and I got triggered.
And when I get triggered I have
a tendency to run from the
things that will help me people,
environments, the church and so
I really want to get back to a
place where that is just my
constant and I'm going every
single Sunday to be filled and
to also be among believers and
to build relationships and
friendships with people.
Because one thing my therapist
said to me is that, as an adult,
we build friendships in the
places where we hang out the
most, and so I feel like that's
something I definitely need to
grow in and I definitely want
that for myself.
The next half of my winter arc I
want to focus on is my physical
body, and the number one reason
why is because I am learning
that trauma can be stored in the
body, like you can go through
your process of healing your,
your mind and so on and so forth
.
But if you're not taking care
of the physical body, those
things will manifest into it.
And I have seen so many like
stories of people who, like, go
to the doctor and there's all
these things wrong with them,
and they all, majority of the
time, stem from an emotional
struggle or challenge that they
are experiencing and emotions.
They can take a toll on your
physical health.
And so I went, I got a full lab
work done, got my test results,
I found where I need to grow
and things of that nature so
that I can heal my body after
having experienced different
things in my life.
And this kind of transitions
into, like what I want to talk
about, like the majority, my
boyfriend's fixing the mic for
us Thanks babe this kind of
transitions into, like the meat
of this episode, which is
basically like what I've been
working on in therapy and I
didn't want to leave anything
out.
So I have my notes, okay.
So there was something that I
recently went through in my life
that really took a toll on me
emotionally and it triggered so
many things.
And it's so crazy to me because
right before this situation had
occurred, I was in a place
where I was like I'm about to
graduate from therapy.
I've been in therapy three
years, I've done so much work
and I just feel like I'm ready.
And my therapist even agreed.
We were like, well, what do you
want to focus on?
Moving forward, because we're
coming to a close on this EMDR
stuff.
And she was like we'll make a
plan and we'll move forward.
She was like we'll make a plan
and we'll move forward.
And I was praying on it and I
was like God, like I'm excited,
this and that, like I hope it's
the right choice.
And then this thing happens and
the Lord uses it to expose
another level of work that needs
to be done in my life and that
has to do with, like the things
that people have labeled me as
that I have claimed as my
identity over the years without
realizing it.
And you know, when I was doing
EMDR, the times that I've been
reprocessing in therapy like
regular talk therapy too I was
reprocessing these big
experiences and these traumatic
events that had happened in my
life, such as like the loss of
my best friend and then the
grief and the loss of people
dying every five months in my
life and so many other things.
Right, these big life
experiences.
And now I'm in a place where
it's like, okay, we've dealt
with the major experiences, but
now we need to deal with the
things that people have said,
that you claim to be true, and
one of those things or struggles
that I feel kind of came up.
The theme of it all was that
deep down inside of myself, I
feel like my needs and the
things that I desire in my life
don't matter to other people,
like I genuinely feel like
nobody cares, Even if, right,
people are like people are like
I care this, and that it's hard
for me to believe it.
And there's so many reasons why
I can't even get into them now
because I haven't even started
the work yet.
This is a conversation I had
with my therapist last Friday
and so it hasn't even been a
full week.
So hopefully one of these days
I'll be able to get like all
into the details of everything.
But yeah, that's that's the
theme, like feeling like my
needs don't matter, and because
I feel like I've always been
kind of that for other people,
you know, like, what do you need
?
I'm here Very observant, very,
um, careful with my words, very
sensitive to what people may be
going through, how they may be
feeling, and I feel like that
just hasn't been my experience
with people in the past.
And I also feel like these
situations or I guess like the
labels have been the hardest to
shake in my life, like I don't
know what it is I don't know if
it's like the people pleaser
tendency in me that I tend to
have the sensitivity, I don't
know but like I genuinely
struggle with letting those
things go.
And, yeah, like I've, I just
feel like the work is never done
.
You know and I don't think
there's anything wrong with that
either we constantly grow,
we're constantly evolving, we're
changing, we're aging, and so
it's never done.
And I feel like I've just been
really sad about it the past
couple weeks.
I've just been really to myself
, kind of down in the dumps
about it because, one, I feel
disappointed because I thought I
was going to be somewhere that
I'm not ready for yet and two,
it was hard for me to accept
that the work is never done
because I want it to be done.
Some days, when I wake up on
Friday mornings for therapy, I'm
like I don't want to go, I
don't want to click on.
Not that I don't love my
therapist, but I'm just, I'm
tired.
I've been in therapy since I've
been in high school, middle
school, actually.
I remember being called in
middle school into therapy
sessions because lovely teachers
recommended me to my counselors
and my therapist.
So, yeah, I just feel like I'm
finally transitioning out of
that and I feel like the Lord is
really teaching me a lot about
myself through it, and I don't
want the next generation to
experience the feelings that
I've experienced, you know, not
to say that they won't go
through their own things I mean,
life happens and you experience
different seasons where you may
feel depressed but to not
repeat the same habits and
tendencies that have been
repeated for generations before
me.
I saw a quote that Jackie Hill
Perry had said in a sermon and
what she said was God will fight
you to free you.
And this hit and resonated with
me so much because I feel like
that's the truth that I've lived
in.
I feel like my needs, my
feelings, my emotions don't
matter to other people.
It then translates into my
relationship with God and, um, I
go these periods in my life
where I'm just processing
internally I'm not vocalizing to
God what it is that I feel or
what it is that I need, because
I feel like God is just going to
do me the way everyone else has
done me or he's going to
respond to me, the way that
other people have responded to
me, and what I've had to realize
is that everybody's brain,
everybody's mind, who they are
right has nothing to do with who
I am.
You know, I am my own person.
We are all our own person and
everybody processes things
differently.
Everybody has their own
viewpoint of different things
and we can't have these
expectations that people are
going to meet us where we are
because they're just not right.
And we have to get to a place
in our lives where we accept
people for who they are and we
have to decide is that enough
for us, instead of like trying
so hard to change people or to
make people see you for who you
are.
Like the right people that God
has for you, the people that he
wants in your life, they will be
able to see you for who you are
and it'll be enough.
And the people that can't,
they're not for you.
You know and I think that that's
been a hard reality for me to
face because of the people,
people's tendency in me and also
just the perfectionist spirit
that I have battled with for
years I want people to like me
and for what they, at the end of
the day, didn't die for me.
They didn't die for you, and
that's something that I really
truly am working towards getting
to a place, I believe.
If you didn't die for me, you
don't get to define me, you know
.
You don't get to say who I am,
you don't get to label me and to
decide.
You know that this is true
about me and instead of getting
to know me for who I actually am
, about me, instead of getting
to know me for who I actually am
, people will look at you and
they'll make all these types of
assumptions without getting to
know you.
And you have to be willing to
let it dust off your shoulder
and not allow it to stick to you
and define you.
And the way that I'm learning to
do this is by reading my word
and really studying what it
means to be adopted into the
family of God.
You know, I'm a King's kid.
You're a King's kid.
If you are saved, if you've, if
you've made that, you know your
eternity, then it's like we
live by what the Lord says about
us and not what other people
say about us, because we are not
of this world and I think I'm
able to really speak to that,
because all my life I have felt
like I'm different.
I felt like I don't know where I
fit in, I don't know where my
place is in this world, and it's
caused a lot of anxiety, a lot
of depression and it's like,
well, there's a purpose for this
right.
God created me for a purpose
and if I don't believe I've
created for a purpose, then I
won't figure it out.
I'm created for something
greater.
God called me unique on purpose
.
He calls me different for a
reason, and so I have to really
get to a place where that is
something I accept, even with
like my mind and the way that it
works, having being diagnosed
as an adult with ADHD, and now
I'm in a season where I'm going
to the doctor for further
psychological evaluations
because it's necessary and I'm
learning.
God created me this way for a
purpose.
And, yeah, identity is huge,
identity in Christ is huge, and
being able to discover that is
going to be the thing that
allows you to find your space in
the world right.
Find your space in the world to
be able to bring God glory,
because he uses your difference,
your uniqueness, to benefit his
kingdom, to bring souls to him.
Because if everybody was the
same, like how would God get
glory?
Like, really think about it If
we all were just robots?
Or if we all were the same, if
there was no differences between
us, how would God get glory?
How would we grow?
How will we be challenged?
How would we be able to move
forward?
You know, how would we learn?
Right?
Those things are necessary and
they're necessary to embrace.
Before I close, I do want to
provide a scripture, and it
comes from the book of Psalms,
and I love this scripture so
much.
I read it out of the message
version because I like the way
the message version paints the
picture, and it's Psalm 32,
verse three through five.
And it reads when I kept it all
inside, my bones turned to
powder.
My words became day-long groans
.
The pressure never let up.
All the juices of my life dried
up.
But then I let it all out.
I said I'll come clean about my
failures to God and suddenly
the pressure was gone, my guilt
dissolved and my sin disappeared
.
And this resonates with me a
lot because I am done holding in
what I'm spilling out right now
.
I had a dream a while back and
one of my favorite pastors on
the face of this planet is Dr
Matthew Stevenson, and we were
in a church setting and he had
approached me in the dream and
he had laid his hands on me and
he gave me this profound
prophetic word.
But one of the things I'll
never forget that he said in the
dream and I believe that you
know this was the Lord speaking
to me through the face of him um
was the Lord just wants to give
you something to talk about.
And I'll never forget that,
because for the longest time, I
have felt like my voice is
powerless.
It doesn't matter.
My needs again, do not matter
who will listen, right?
But he said the Lord wants to
give you something to talk about
.
And as I turn on this camera
every single time I show up to
record, I'm reminded of that.
The Lord just wants to give you
something to talk about.
And so when I talk about holding
things in, I'm talking about
holding in for me the truth
about the way I see myself,
because I have struggled so much
especially like growing up as a
minister's kid to be the
perfect Christian and because of
that, like I've been so scared
to do anything.
It has paralyzed me because I
don't want to make a mistake,
because I feel that pressure.
I've taken on that pressure and
I feel like as I come on here
and as I talk, I'm relieving
myself and the Lord is relieving
myself of that pressure, little
by little, and I want people to
know Christians aren't perfect,
never claim to be right.
I think the church has done a
really good job at making that
seem that way, because we hide
what we go through as pastors,
as leaders, ministers, deacons,
elders, people in the church.
Right, we have a good way of
making it seem like we're put
together.
But you can have the biggest
Bible, like I said in episode
one, and be preaching the word
and not know it.
You can be a hearer and not a
doer very easily and I don't
want people to think that we
have it all together.
My generation, I know, not a
doer very easily and I don't
want people to think that we
have it all together.
My generation I know for a fact
because it's in me craves truth
.
They crave real, authentic
truth and I hope to bring that
as the well continues, you know.
And so yeah, that's it, that's
all I hope.
You guys enjoyed this episode.
I don't know when I'll put out
the next one.
Honestly, it's a learning
process and I go as the Lord
goes, and it is what it is.
So I hope this blessed you, and
also for those of you who
listen on YouTube and don't know
this yet, there is a link on
the top of our description area
Once you click an episode on
Apple and Spotify.
That says send us a text and I
would love to hear from you.
I would love to hear where
you're from and what your name
is and what you have like so far
about the podcast.
Any feedback, what is it that
you want to hear me talk about?
I want to hear from you, so
don't hesitate, don't be shy.
Hopefully, eventually, we can
get to a point where there is
some sort of weekly newsletter
or blog that we can have you
guys subscribe to so that you
guys can get encouragement
throughout your week as well.
But yeah, I love you guys and
I'll see you for the next
episode.
I'm out, bye.