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Welcome to Her Health Code, the podcast that helps women in midlife feel better in their bodies without the confusion or overwhelm. We’re two health coaches sharing real talk, personal stories, and our best coaching tips that help you reconnect with your body’s wisdom. Think of us as your health-savvy girlfriends, here to help you crack the code to feeling vibrant and strong again.
Jess & Michele (00:00)
Welcome back to Her Health Code where we are helping women in midlife feel better. I'm Jess. And I'm Michelle. And today we are talking about why it is so hard to get good sleep in midlife. Cause dog on it. It's hard. It is so hard. I was in denial at first. Yeah. And then eventually I came to a realization that this is just part of the transition. Yeah. Part of the journey. Yep.
And so rather than resisting it, which was what was happening in the beginning, I decided that I was going to figure out a way to optimize sleep in the best way that I possibly can. estrogen and progesterone, they are in decline. I can't do much about that. Yeah. So once our estrogen and progesterone are in a decline, as happens in early perimenopause, late perimenopause and menopause,
Sleep is just so hard. So we have come up with some things that help us best optimize our sleep and get the best sleep possible. So Jess, why don't you share some of the things that you do to get yourself some good sleep? Yes. Well, when this started happening, I was having the 2 a.m. wakeups. I was having hot flashes. Yep. And the hot flashes would not always wake me up, but at 2 a.m. I would get woken up by that and having to go to the bathroom.
I decided to tap into circadian Rhythm and optimizing that with AM and PM routines that just support better sleep and circadian Rhythm. So I started waking up with the sun, which is not easy when you are waking up in the middle of the night multiple times. You just want to sleep as...
late as you possibly can before you're starting your day. you wake up without an alarm. I do. I stopped wearing my night mask. Okay. Because I don't have blackout blinds. I don't like them. I don't like how they look. I don't like how they feel. I don't like what they're made of. So I took blackout blinds and that whole situation out of my room about four years ago. Okay. I just have a natural fiber linen blinds and they do let in the natural light in the morning.
So when that starts happening, I wake up and I, do some prayer, a little bit of gratitude, and maybe some deep breathing and have a gentle wake up. And then I go outside and I sit outside with my eyes open and I do breath work because that to me is a sign to my nervous system that ⁓ it's time to wake up. Corzal, hello? Yep. Come on in.
And let's start the day. do not pick up my phone in the morning. I do not check emails or get on the computer or do any of that. I don't do, my checklist. I don't hop in the shower first. Like I literally just walk out the door in my backyard and I know this is not the easiest thing for people who don't live in a climate that allows for this. But even if you can just bundle up.
and go outside at some point in that first hour of light, it's doable for like a couple of minutes, right?
And for those that live in like a winter climate, I do believe there's these special lights that you can actually get for inside for, you know, for waking up your eyes to start that circadian rhythm clock. Yes, it's red light panels. You can do that. It's a solution. But if you don't have the money to do it, don't worry. You can just bundle up and go outside for a few minutes. that's easy enough. I also most mornings when it's warm enough, I like to just stay out there with my feet,
on the ground to get that energy from the earth, that little bit of grounding energy. And I will finish my meditations out there as long as I'm able to withstand the temperature. Otherwise I will just retreat inside, cover myself with a blanket and get a hot cup of water or just regular water and do my little bit of meditation and breath work inside. So yeah.
That's my morning routine. How about you? Do you have some special things that you've adopted for helping your sleep? Yes, probably not as much as you, but mine probably sound a little crazier than yours because mine is not. I don't know about that. Getting outside with your bare feet on the ground. Mine, I sure my neighbors think I'm a little crazy because my idea of going out and
being outside, because I do agree with Jess, it's really important to do, but usually mine is not as planned. And so I'm usually running out with my robe on and trying to get the sun in my eyes and until one of my kids see me and be like, mom, get in here. So it's not as like calming and breath work. It's more like, get the sun in my eyes. Let me just get out that sun in my face. And I really do.
I that it does feel great in the morning to get that sun on your face and let it just permeate through your eyelids because I do think that just starts that clock where your body knows this is the wake time. This is the time we're awake and it starts the clock. So when you do go to sleep at night, your body has to be awake for so long in order for your body to rest.
So making sure you get that kind of light in your face, whether it's very organized and sweet sounding like Jess does, or kind of like running out just with your robe on and just putting your face in the sun, you know, like I do. You're not doing that in your front yard, are you? I sure am. Come on. I sure am. You big beautiful backyard. I got this front with your Big pink fuzzy robe. And I just go out there and I'm like, hello, sun. yep, so mine kind of looks like that.
So what about night routine? Nighttime routine is for me more simple. Okay. Because I feel like if I...
pile on a bunch of stuff at night, then I'm less inclined to do it because I'm just tired and kind of done with the day. To be honest, I've tried a bigger nighttime routine and if I make it too big, I won't do it because that's true. I'm just done. Yeah. You have to be real with yourself. Yes. And so the one thing that I make sure I do all the time, pretty much almost never not do it.
Yes, I'm not perfect. There are some nights where I don't do it, but this is the one thing that I do try to get in and it's shaking. Lay on my back, put my arms and legs in the air and shake vigorously for three minutes. There's a lot of benefits to it, but it's mostly just to get out that excess nervous energy Or if there's anything in your day that stressed you out or triggered you, it's maybe still hanging out in your nervous system somewhere and will impede
your ability to go to sleep at night. And so animals in nature, when they are in a stress response, like being chased by a predator, if they survive that chase, the first thing they do is shake off afterwards. that's where shaking comes from. It's a nervous system regulation technique that just gets it all out. And if you think about it, when you're a child and you're having a tantrum,
right? They're shaking and they're screaming and they're crying. That's true. Well, it's because they're trying to regulate their nervous system in a natural way. Like how we actually are designed to get rid of that excess stress and trauma and tension from whatever just happened that's making us want to scream and shout and throw ourselves on the ground and shake, right? Yeah, absolutely. That makes perfect sense. So shaking really does make you feel better and
create a more relaxation response afterward. that right? I feel that it does. I feel the difference if I don't do it. It's like sometimes you just have to do the hard thing to get the other thing that you want. So like it might be easier to go to bed when you're just done with the day. But if I shake, if I do that, then sleep is easier. I like that. Yeah, I like that.
Yep, so that's my one non-negotiable. Now if I have a lot of energy, I might do a little small stretching routine or some deep breathing as I'm stretching. ⁓ But really, besides that, sometimes I do things and sometimes I don't. So the other things that sometimes I do and sometimes I don't are just really dependent on how I'm feeling for the day. So if I'm feeling like I need a little support with castor oil, I'll do a castor oil pack. Okay.
If I'm feeling like I need a little extra warmth, then I do plug in my heating pad. I obsessed with actually. I almost never not do that because it's just such a treat. Such a cozy. Yeah. There's no effort to that. I plug it in and I turn it on and I lay down on it. And I'm telling you that plus the red light glasses, which I guess I would say my red light glasses are the other non-negotiable for me.
I guess it's become part of my routine so much that I don't even think about it because there's no effort to it. Okay. Like you just put them on the glasses when you are doing work on a computer or when you're watching a television program? Yeah, actually no work on the computer after... I cut mine off at 7 p.m. Okay. Last night I was on it until 9 15 and I had a rough night. Really? not sleep that good. So it's a good reminder every now and then when you...
let yourself slip because you just have to. My son had a baseball game yesterday so that was a two hour chunk of time that I kind of put on to the end of the day after dinner and I regretted it. It would have just been better to like go to bed and read a book or something and do my nighttime routine instead I put that two hour chunk at the end of the day and you know then it bit you in the butt. Yeah I could have up much earlier.
if I would have just gone to sleep. So you know, you live and you learn, right? Like I'm still just kind of, feel like every day is different. so you just have to play with it and have fun with it and test it out and see what works and what doesn't work. How about you? Well, I really liked that shaking. I think I might use that. I might utilize that little thing about shaking.
one of the things I do is I don't eat after dinner or I try not to eat because I struggle with acid reflux occasionally. I'll have bouts of that. I'm not struggling now. Knock on some wood. But because of that, I have learned that it is not good for me to have anything to eat after dinner. And I like to have an early dinner too. Like we're talking like 5.30. I'm like the old folks. Yeah.
Early, what's that? The early births. Early births. I'm really into the early births special. Because if I eat too late, it just sits on my stomach like a rock and then I can't sleep because my body is digesting and it's just like this vicious cycle. So I have to kind of cut myself off for food. And if I do get hungry, I'll have like a glass of warm milk with some cinnamon or something like that. If I really get hungry and I need something to just like to comfort me, so I don't go to bed with a growling.
stomach. The other thing I do is I have to be flexible with yourself. The other thing I do is I like to take a shower at night just to kind of, I like to integrate water. I feel like it also it heats up your body. And then when you get out of the shower, you're cooled off. And so I feel like that hot, cold, kind of temperature change kind of makes me feel a lot more
ready for bed, cozy. So I get my jammies on and I do my skin routine, which usually takes me about 20 minutes to do my full skin routine. that takes... You'll have to go over that in another episode. That's a whole other episode, guys. Just keep waiting and see. Yes, I'm very... Stay tuned. I take a lot of time with my skin every night and ⁓ I take my time doing that. And that can be relaxing.
if you don't make it into a, oh my God, I have to do this. yeah. So it can be relaxing. It's time with myself and I'm just maybe playing some soft music and I try to make it relaxing. It's something I do every night. And then once I'm done with that and my skin routine is done, I brush my teeth, I'm ready for bed, then I like to just take a few minutes in a dim light
with either a candle or my lamp on. And I really just like to do just a few moments of breath work where I just calm myself down. And usually that is like one hand on my heart, one hand in my belly. And for some reason, this posture just makes me feel so taken care of. And even if I'm just here just with the posture, there's just something about putting your hand on your heart and your hand on your belly that it almost makes you feel like you're giving yourself like a giant hug.
And so having a few minutes with just some breathing, just some gentle, nothing specific, just inhaling and exhaling a little bit deeper, just taking a note of the day and letting go of anything that I might have been worried about during the day and trying to clear my head really just so I can prepare myself for a good night's sleep, because I don't want to lay in bed and then just start spinning. So trying to just take a moment to let anything go that may be bothering me and
telling my brain that I can deal with it tomorrow and not to think about it anymore. And that's pretty much it. That's actually a really beautiful tip because if you're reeling about something that happened during the day, it can keep you up all night. All night. It can just be consuming.
I don't know if it dissolves it for me, but I give myself permission to deal with it tomorrow. And I think that knowing I'm in the sleep brain time, this is Michelle in the sleep mode. And Michelle in the wake mode will deal with that problem tomorrow
so no matter what it is, I definitely think you have to make sure you're letting things go. And I make a point to always like if my husband wants to bring something up that might be upsetting or, you know, talk about something important. Yeah, I was like, Nope, cannot talk about it. I will not I will not allow
like big deep discussions anywhere near bedtime because my mind will be reeling about it. And theirs won't. And theirs won't. So they'll be sleeping like a baby. I'll be like, honey, I will absolutely talk about that tomorrow, but just not tonight. And so that's pretty much how I do. I'm really simple with the things that I do, but I'm very deliberate. And so I really do think it comes down to mindset. do you like having a face mask?
Yeah, so I sleep with a face mask. Some people are yes and some people are no. I tried it, didn't like it, but you love it. So I actually, if you saw the way my bed is set up so crazy, I sleep in like a nest. So I have some neck issues and so I kind of have one arm propped up here, one arm propped up here, my knees are propped up, my head is propped just right and then I have my eye mask and everything is dark and then I have a fan that literally is like
blowing at me all night because I don't want to overheat. And so I, I look really crazy at night, but that is how I feel I can just sleep the best because I kind of create this safe feeling cocoon.
And I used to sleep with a weighted blanket. I'm not feeling like I need that anymore, because I feel like I've built this like a cocoon. But I do think you have to figure- Weighted blankets are a beautiful help though. Weighted blankets are really good. actually helps you feel really safe. Just kind of like how that motion of hand on your heart really makes you feel nurtured and protected. A weighted blanket can help as well. So if you're dealing with any stressful situations, ongoing or anxiety or past stuff.
a weighted blanket can actually feel really, good. Yeah, that's a great sleep support. We're just kind of throwing out ideas. Not that we use them all the time, but you used it for a while. I did. I used it for about a year. Now you don't. And now you have another way to connect and make that similar feeling for yourself, which is a nice swap. And so.
Routines can be evolving and they will evolve I think absolutely Yes now I will say that you have to make sure that you're not overdressing at night and you're not in blankets that are too much and you're
heat is turned down. All of these things are also good little tips. Especially if you're experiencing hot flashes or night sweats, you don't want to provoke it.
it's important to try different things that might work for you and create your own tool basket that helps you with your sleep. And basically, that's really all we've kind of tried to do is try different things and manipulate different things to see if they work for us.
And that's what I think it's a great idea for you to try at home is just maybe take some of the things that we've mentioned, whether it's the shaking or getting the light in the morning or relaxation techniques or showering or long skin routines. getting rid of your technology use Technology, yep. These are all great things off a couple of hours can really help your brain.
shut down, especially if it's work related, but even if it's just casual scrolling, depending on what you're seeing when you're scrolling, it may or may not be stressful. Oftentimes it is stressful, but if it isn't and you're seeing kitty cats the whole time, the act of scrolling is still very busy
Now I do watch TV at night. There's not always time to read I will throw on the TV just something lighthearted and funny so that I don't have
and I don't have to be stressed. because I do have a TV. Red light glasses, It does help turn the mind off from spinning. if you're stressed out, like I really do think that having, watching a silly movie like a nonsensical that has no action or blood and guts, like I think it does. drama. No drama. I think it does kind of help you just kind of tune out, you know, the day and so you can kind of allow your mind to just rest.
I think we've given them a lot to think about, and hopefully something to try at home that might help you with your sleep. So until next time, be well. Thanks for joining us.