Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

The nonverbal habits that make you look confident, composed, and authentic before you even speak.
How you carry yourself can shape how others perceive your confidence, credibility, and authenticity—often before you say a word. In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Matt Abrahams shares practical, research-backed techniques for strengthening your presence through body language, posture, gestures, and eye contact. Learn how to stand and sit with confidence, move with purpose, use your hands effectively, and avoid common nonverbal habits that can distract from your message. Whether you're presenting to an audience, leading a meeting, or navigating everyday conversations, these simple strategies can help you communicate with greater composure and impact.

Episode Reference Links:
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 Chapters:

  • (00:00) - Introduction
  • (01:59) - Be Big, Balanced, and Still
  • (02:53) - The Right Speaking Stance
  • (03:38) - Moving with Purpose
  • (04:29) - Presence While Seated
  • (05:15) - What to Do with Your Hands
  • (06:00) - Gesturing Beyond Your Shoulders
  • (08:29) - Effective Eye Contact
  • (09:14) - Thinking While Speaking
  • (09:59) - Bringing It All Together
  • (10:46) - Practice Through Recording
  • (11:32) - Conclusion

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Creators and Guests

Host
Matt Abrahams
Lecturer Stanford University Graduate School of Business | Think Fast Talk Smart podcast host

What is Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques?

One of the most essential ingredients to success in business and life is effective communication.

Join Matt Abrahams, best-selling author and Strategic Communication lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, as he interviews experts to provide actionable insights that help you communicate with clarity, confidence, and impact. From handling impromptu questions to crafting compelling messages, Matt explores practical strategies for real-world communication challenges.

Whether you’re navigating a high-stakes presentation, perfecting your email tone, or speaking off the cuff, Think Fast, Talk Smart equips you with the tools, techniques, and best practices to express yourself effectively in any situation. Enhance your communication skills to elevate your career and build stronger professional relationships.

Tune in every Tuesday for new episodes. Subscribe now to unlock your potential as a thoughtful, impactful communicator. Learn more and sign up for our eNewsletter at fastersmarter.io.

Matt Abrahams: Your presence at times
can speak louder than your words.

My name is Matt Abrahams, and I
teach Strategic Communication at

Stanford Graduate School of Business.

Welcome to this quick thinks episode
of Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast.

Today, I'd like to walk you through
best practices for helping you to

make sure you convey confidence and
authenticity in your communication.

The goal here is not to make everyone
communicate the same way, but rather

to introduce you to fundamental
best practices based on academic

research that can inform what you
do with your body and your voice.

The very first thing people see
about you is how you hold your body.

Three rules to follow.

You want to make sure that you
are big, balanced, and still.

What I mean by that is you want
to pull your shoulder blades back

so that you extend your chest.

We're not pulling our elbows back.

We're not puffing out our chest, but we
pull our elbows down and shoulders down.

Allow your hands to
drop down by your side.

This way, you look very big.

Now, we want to make sure
our head is straight as well.

Many of us tilt our head or
we lean when we communicate.

We want to be still and balanced.

To make sure we're still, we
have to think about our feet.

Many of us, when we stand, we stand
with our feet facing out to a forty-five

degree angle, like a penguin or a duck.

This actually opens up our hips.

If you've done any dance, yoga, or
martial arts, you know that having

your feet out like this makes it
easy and flexible for you to move.

The problem is, when you're standing
up and speaking, we don't want

to be swaying from side to side.

It can be very distracting.

For my Stanford MBA students, when
they have to do a big assignment,

we'll digitally record them and I
make them watch the recording without

sound on two X speed, and they see
themselves swaying in the wind.

How do we fix this?

We take our feet and we make sure they're
parallel underneath our shoulders.

We put one foot slightly in front
of the other and maybe even come

up on our tiptoes and settle down.

That pulls the weight forward.

So with our shoulders pulled down, our
arms by our side, our head straight,

and our feet parallel with our weight
forward, we are in the starting position

for communication when you're standing.

Any sport you have ever played
has an initial starting stance.

This is the starting
stance for public speaking.

If you're being introduced, if you're
speaking with a team and you're

standing while someone else is speaking,
this is how you hold your body.

Now, of course, you'll move
around if you're standing.

I recommend stepping in towards
the beginning of a communication.

So step towards your audience
with a broad gesture.

That makes you look very
confident and welcoming.

If somebody has a question or
some feedback, step towards

them in an open, neutral way,
again, making you look confident.

And when you transition from one
idea to the next, physically move

your body a few steps and land
back into this ready position.

Now, often when you communicate,
you're not standing, you're seated.

Same things apply.

Pull your shoulder blades down.

Make sure your head is straight.

Keep your feet flat on the ground.

A lot of us when we sit, we flex
our legs a lot and bounce around.

You can see that reflected in your shirt.

And have your forearms on the table.

We like to see people's hands.

Speaking of hands, what do
we do with these things?

It's the number one question I get asked
when I teach people nonverbal presence.

I've already shared one place for
them, and that's down by your side.

It took me a long time, years,
to be comfortable talking

with my hands down by my side.

For many of us, it's much more
comfortable when we stand to put

our hands right at our belly button.

We wanna avoid being too low.

This looks a little defensive,
if you get what I mean.

And we wanna avoid our
hands being up too high.

This makes us look like we're
praying not to get hurt.

So placing your hands right at your
belly button, palm on palm, interlacing

the fingers, or even lightly steepling
are nice places to rest your hands.

We want to avoid doing anything that's
distracting or tentative with our hands.

We don't want to just hold a finger.

We don't wanna crack our knuckles.

We want to avoid playing with rings,
and we don't wanna do the heartbeat.

Nice and neutral.

So hands are either down by our
side or right at our abdomen.

When you gesture, I have just one
rule, go beyond your shoulders.

Many of us when we're nervous, we
gesture in tight between our shoulders.

How does it look if I say, "Here
at our company we have a very

open and embracing culture"?

Really?

Instead, I should say, "Here at our
company we have an open and embracing

culture." Just going a little bit beyond
your shoulders makes you look open.

I like to tell people, think of
your chest as a basketball key.

If you know the rules of basketball,
you can be in the key for three

seconds without getting a penalty.

So I might say, "This is really
important to all of you and me." And

then I return to my neutral place.

If I'm seated, I simply have my
forearms on the table, and when

I gesture, I gesture beyond my
shoulders and my arms come back.

The final thing we need to talk about
is what do we do with our eye contact.

We need to make sure that when
we communicate, we look at the

audience that we're speaking to.

I am always asked, "How long
should I look at somebody?"

And I wish I had a good answer.

Long enough, but not too long.

Some people will say one idea per person.

I struggle with that just
because one idea might be longer

for one person than another.

I recommend spreading your eye contact
around, but not in a patterned way.

How would it look if I just kept
looking across the audience like this?

A little strange.

So if you have a large enough audience,
let's say eight or more, create

quadrants of the area you're speaking in.

Maybe I look in the back corner,
then I'm here in the front,

and then maybe over here.

If it's a smaller group, certainly
try to look at each person.

Many of us, when we're trying to think
about what comes next, we will often look

up, because looking at people's faces is
one of the most drawn things that we do.

We're so motivated to learn
about what's on people's faces.

It's really hard to think and take
in all that information, so it's

very tempting to look up and away.

Unfortunately, when I look up and
away, people see me as being distant,

maybe nervous, not wanting to be there.

It is better to look down than look up.

When I look down, I look
thoughtful and pensive.

When I look up, I look confused.

So train yourself, if you
have to take a moment, to look

down, and then start again.

A great way to do this is to move.

Often, when we need to think about
what we want to say next is during

points of transition in our content.

And as I mentioned earlier, a great
thing to do when you're transitioning

ideas is to move laterally side to side.

So as I move, I might look down and walk.

It's very normal to look down as you
walk, so it looks completely natural.

So taken together, when we work on our
presence, just our physicality, what we

do with our body, we can actually have
a big impact on how people perceive us.

Again, we want to be
big, balanced, and still.

Pull the shoulder blades down,
have the arms to the side.

Head is straight, and
our feet are parallel.

When we gesture, we gesture beyond our
shoulders, and we come to a neutral

resting place, either right in front
of our abdomen or down by our side.

And when we make eye contact, we
look around in a non-patterned way.

Taken together, these skills will
help you look confident and be

composed while you're communicating.

The single best tool to help
you with this is to digitally

record yourself practicing.

And when you watch, turn the volume
down so you can see how you actually

look and how others will perceive you.

In so doing, you will begin
to improve your presence.

Thank you for joining us for this
Quick Thinks episode of Think

Fast Talk Smart, the podcast.

To learn more about presence, please
listen to episode 12 with Deb Gruenfeld

and episode 137 with Dana Carney.

This episode was produced by Katherine
Reed, Ryan Campos, and me, Matt Abrahams.

Our music is from Floyd Wonder, with
special thanks to Podium Podcast Company.

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