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What if you could get more of what you want in life? But not through pushing, forcing, or pressure.
You can.
When it comes to money, time, and energy, no one’s gonna turn away more.
And Kate Northrup, Bestselling Author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and host of Plenty, is here to help you expand your capacity to receive all of the best.
As a Money Empowerment OG who’s been at it for nearly 2 decades, Kate’s the abundance-oriented best friend you may not even know you’ve always needed.
Pull up a chair every week with top thought leaders, luminaries, and adventurers to learn how to have more abundance with ease.
I received another $80,000, which is the exact amount that I was in debt, which I love. I love that synchronicity. That was also a huge win. And there was a huge win on a financial level, and it was a huge win on an emotional level because I had to move through something that I had experienced in my past that I think I was still trapped around. And to have gone through it again and got the result that I got was, again, another life changing, game changing moment.
Kate Northrup:Today, we have the most inspiring story for you. This is part of our Relax Money case study series, and I'm going to introduce you to the most gorgeous, powerful woman. Her name is Joy Asabe Gabriel. She is a women's adornment specialist. She's a stylist.
Kate Northrup:She's a media figure, in Toronto, and she has has an incredible money story. So I'm gonna let her tell you the details, but what I want you to know is this. When she came into this world of money healing here in my company, she was in nearly 6 figures in debt. She was going through a separation. Things were tricky financially.
Kate Northrup:And what she created in an unbelievably short period of time in less than six months and how she did it, you're going to hear the story of how she not only was able to eliminate those blessings for invoices already received, which is what I call debt, but how she also then attracted and called into her life extra income that far superseded her debt. So she basically, within a six month period, nearly gave herself from a net worth increase perspective, a 200 k race. So you're gonna hear the story. The details are beautiful. She is a gorgeous soul.
Kate Northrup:Enjoy this case study with joy. Welcome to Plenty. I'm your host, Kate Northrup, and together we are going on a journey to help you have an incredible relationship with money, time, and energy, and to have abundance on every possible level. Every week, we're gonna dive in with experts and insights to help you unlock a life of plenty. Let's go fill our cups.
Kate Northrup:Please note that the opinions and perspectives of the guests on the Plenty podcast are not necessarily reflective of the opinions and perspectives of Kate Northrup or anyone who works within the Kate Northrup brand. Hi, Joy. Hello. Thanks for being here.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:My pleasure. My pleasure.
Kate Northrup:Alright. So I wanna know to start off with, can you just, like, tell me the constellation of your life and your your career and just kind of, like, give us the overview of the different pieces at play?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Okay. Well, I'm a a feminine adornment coach, so I help women express themselves through their clothes, really looking at who she is on the inside and helping her to bring it to the outside with as much joy and pleasure as possible. So that would be my career piece. I'm working with women every day and also on TV. I'm a mom of two.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I'm separated. And yeah. And I I I'm loving life. I'm out in the world traveling and enjoying enjoying things.
Kate Northrup:Amazing. And you live in Toronto? And I live in Toronto. Yes. In Toronto.
Kate Northrup:Okay. Amazing. And what was going on for you in your life, in your career, in your money at the time when money when Relax Money came across your radar?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. So in a in a nutshell, I was incredibly stressed and overwhelmed. I was waking up in the middle of the night, like, in a panic about my finances, specifically my debt. I like, scarcity. And I would even say, like, on my knees level fear.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And I often described it to friends as, like, feeling like I'd hit a financial rock bottom. Like, I don't think I've ever felt that way before. And if I roll back two years before I had decided to end my marriage, which was a huge decision that felt so soul aligned. And I I I like to tell people that from that decision came so much expansion and more opportunities and more energy and aliveness. And it also brought me face to face with some things I've been avoiding around my money and finances, things I wasn't ready to look at, cracks that were already there.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:It brought it all to the surface. And because I had been reliant on my ex's income, or he we were a single income household. I had left my career when my children were born. I was dependent on that. But when it went away, that was when I realized, like, wow.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:There's a big gap here to fill, a big gap, and that's where the debt really kicked in. Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:And how did you hear about Relaxed Money? Like, do you remember who you heard about it through or where you were and
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:and I heard about it through you because I had been on your email list for over, I wanna say, like, since 2017, and part of other programs you've done. And, you know, like, people's inboxes, like, people who come into my inbox come and go, but you have remained a constant. And I remember when you relaxed launched Relax Money, and I remember telling other people about it to the point where I had a friend who had joined the previous year. But for me, I just felt like it wasn't the right time. But when I came up to last year and where I was at in terms of that rock bottom feeling, I knew, like, it just it was the right and perfect timing to to join.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And it will even say that you I remember had said, don't join this program if you're not sure how you're paying your bills every month. Like, if you're in that level of financial difficulty, and that's where I was. And I ignored what he said, and I'm so glad I did. For me, I wouldn't say everyone should do that. But for me, I knew it was I like, I needed something to jump start me, and I was ready to take that risk, and it paid off hugely.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Okay.
Kate Northrup:So you were really in a place where you were reinventing yourself financially. Yeah. Yeah? So you were in total financial reinvention. You had you how how long had you left the workforce to be with your kids?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Oh, it had been 2016. So
Kate Northrup:Okay. Yeah. So they had been eight years. Eight years. Eight years.
Kate Northrup:And then and then when did you start your business up? Like, inklings of the
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:business in 2018 really got golden probably 2019, '20 '20.
Kate Northrup:Okay. So it hadn't really been
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. It hadn't been that long. And, also, because we had another income that we relied on, I never felt like I needed to to really make this my thing. You know? I had savings I was relying on at my ex's income.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:It wasn't it was there, and it wasn't yeah.
Kate Northrup:It didn't have to provide everything for you and your family. Exactly. But now you were in a position where it was like, okay. The the game is different. My needs are different, and I don't know how I'm gonna do this.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And so even oh, go ahead.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:No. I was just gonna say I I really appreciate the opportunity to tell the story because I feel like I mean, I personally know and I know there's other women out there who've been in that situation where you're still in your marriage because of the safety and the security financially. And to leave can be incredibly scary. Like, what am I how am I gonna keep this going? This house, these bills, these expenses.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And then when you have children, you know, it it amplifies. And I'm not saying my story is, like, the model, but I feel like I really moved through that fear. And and relax money has been, like, a big, big, big part of that journey.
Kate Northrup:That's absolutely incredible. So there you were reinventing yourself, feeling like, I'm gonna ignore what Kate said about,
Speaker 3:like, not joining if you don't.
Kate Northrup:I mean, I think, like, I will say, like, my one of the things that
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I
Kate Northrup:see in my industry is people will say, like, do whatever you have to do to join this program. Like, take out a loan, sell your couch, you know, whatever. And I'm fine. However, I'm just the sort of person where it's like, listen. If you're if you're not knowing how you're gonna pay your rent, like, you know, get that handled.
Kate Northrup:But Totally. You Totally. You you said, actually, I know this is for me. I know this is what I need. Tell me more about that, like, about just knowing that this was the work that you needed.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:How did you know? It's interesting because the previous year, I had told a friend about Relaxed Money and she joined. And for whatever reason, and I don't really remember why, I didn't join that year. I think I felt like I you know, it wasn't the right time. Whereas when I did join, it felt so urgent.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:It felt like something needed to change. And, also, my intuition was, like, now is the time. And I'm very much about, like, what's happening in my body. And I felt the full body yes. I remember when my friend said I'm gonna do Relax Money a second year, and I thought, wow.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:This is where I need to be. It also helps that I've been in your containers before, so I trust you. Like, I don't trust just anybody. And I was yeah, I was excited for what was to come.
Kate Northrup:That's amazing.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I love that.
Kate Northrup:So then take take me back to, like, how did you what was your experience like actually doing the program? Did you show up for all the live things? Did you do it as replays? Like, how was that how did
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:that actually go down? Yeah. I think, like, being someone who's a bit of an online course junkie I mean, I've done so many courses over the years. My fear for myself was that I was gonna buy another course and not fully show up as happens sometimes. With this one, I was like, that's not gonna happen.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I am attending every live call. This is in my calendar. So I prioritized it. Like, it was if I had a relaxed money call, like, there was no way I wasn't gonna be there unless there was a really important reason not to be there. I also set myself up with accountability, which I know that I personally need to show up for things.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And that felt like a real difference for me compared to how I've operated with online courses in the past. So with my friend, we made sure, like, after every live call, we would meet afterwards. We'd digest. We'd share favorite frames. We'd work the tools together.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:That made a a big difference. And I I think as well, realizing that all of these like, everything I was learning felt necessary and needed. You know, sometimes you do a course and you're like, well, that's nice to know. Yeah. But this was like, no.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I can apply this right away. I can I can start the transformation, the healing journey now, and it and it gets to be, like, in small doable increments? Like, it's not yeah. It's not like a it's not like a like, I have to work really hard at this. It just felt very natural and effortless.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:That's so cool. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:So for you during the course of the the content itself, like, I mean, you and I both know that this work continues to live on in your life because there's not one day that we're not going to interact with money. Yeah. So it is ongoing. But during the actual, like, live delivery of the program and and in the few months after, what were some of the most important pivotal either exercises or or ahas and revelations that you had for yourself?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. I think a big one was understanding my nervous system, understanding where and how I've been dysregulated, and not just in relationship to money, but, like, throughout my entire life. So doing the money story exercise, which I was really resistant to, I found very helpful to go back and look at things that have happened in my past and how they were still affecting me today. I am a big believer in, like, moving emotion through the body. That module was really helpful just to kind of remind myself, like, oh, this practice is important.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:All of the nervous system healing tools, I found incredibly supportive. I mean, in every module, was something. There was an moment. I mean, I I could keep going probably, but then we'll be sitting here for a while.
Speaker 3:Totally. And
Kate Northrup:Yeah. How soon after you started doing the work would you say that you had a tangible shift in your So,
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:yeah, this kind of blew me away. I joined I joined a little bit late, so I joined in May. It's like a month after Yeah. You'd started. And in August, I had a like so I was in debt, I mentioned.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I was actually in about $80,000 of credit card debt, which was something that felt incredibly heavy, and I had a lot of shame around it. Through the program, as we were moving through, I started talking about it. So first, I started talking about it to my partner, which was a big deal for me because I don't think I would have ever shared that with someone before because I felt so embarrassed. I shared it with my boyfriend when we started having really honest conversations about money. I started sharing it with other friends and, like, the the ability to be more and more transparent about exactly where I was at.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And I knew that I needed to do something in order to to manage this debt because it was crushing me. Like, the interest on that every month was unsustainable. And, you know, it just snowballs. It gets bigger and bigger. And so I had a conversation with my mom who is someone I really look up to and admire.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:It's gonna make me cry. And she is someone who really knows how to steward wealth, and so does my grandmother. And I felt like I was, like, the pink in the chain. And I was embarrassed to tell her about where I was. And I remember walking in the woods, like, nervous system grounding, doing a tool before I called her, and having a really honest conversation with her about what was going on.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And it was so beautiful how she was able to show up for me with so much compassion and grace. And through that conversation, we started looking at, okay. How are we gonna manage this? And I looked across different routes. And in the end, I ended up renegotiating my mortgage with her because she's my private mortgage lender.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And I got all of the money I needed to clear that credit card debt by September. And I thought my goal had been to clear by the end of the year, which I thought was already gonna be impossible. So to clear that by September was huge. Like, Kate, I can't even tell you the weight that lifted off of my shoulders. This boulder that felt like it was so heavy in my life affecting all areas of my life.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:To have that cleared was like, it felt miraculous. And, obviously, it wasn't. There was work that went into it, and yet, yeah, that was huge. And then there
Kate Northrup:was more that just started coming after that. And when we think about obviously, there's the emotional weight and the release of that and and the energy that it takes. But then also, just practically speaking, the amount of money you saved on interest
Speaker 3:Yeah. From clearing that out of me, like,
Kate Northrup:wild. Wild.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Wild.
Kate Northrup:So the savings is huge energetically, financially. Okay. That's amazing.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Go ahead. Just add going back to your previous question, like, about the modules that had the biggest impact. Where we started talking about invoices for blessings already received, the debt piece, I think it was really helpful for me to start looking at things. Like, I actually began looking at my debt and understanding, okay. This credit card is paying this interest.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:This one has that. This credit line is this. Like, in the course, starting to really look at my money, tracking my expenses, that was so powerful because it was one of the things that I've been avoiding. So avoidant to go into my bank account, so avoidant to understand exactly how much I'm spending every month, And then especially around the debt, like, to really see. And even before I cleared everything, I started shifting things around.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:So at least I was paying less where I could pay less. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Because there's so much money that gets wasted from avoidance. Yeah.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:It's Oh, yeah.
Kate Northrup:Is ex incredibly expensive Yeah. And energetically. We cannot underestimate the energetic toll that it takes. It's like having a static radio station on at all times really loud. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Like and it prevents us from having mental clarity, emotional clarity. It prevents it's it it it it screws up our magnetism.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. Yeah. And so, like, a follow on from that avoidance, I post separation, I had paperwork that I needed to do for the government just to clear my new status with the children. And and it was about eight pages long, and it required me to get third party letters. And I remember getting it and thinking two years prior and thinking, I cannot do this.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:This is too much. Like, I was in such overwhelm that just doing that that exercise would have sent me over the edge. And so I sat on it. When I finally did it in September, October, thanks to all the tools I was working and what I was learning in Relax Money, it took me about an hour, so it didn't actually take that long. It was a perfect example of how, like, I was just so stressed, like, my I was able to just start expanding and handling things.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:That brought in $13,000. Yeah. One hour. One hour that I had avoided for two years.
Kate Northrup:Oh my gosh. That's so powerful. And I'm like, you are you know this. It's so powerful. It's so common Yeah.
Kate Northrup:That, you know, invoices don't get sent. Like, the number one I used to be a feng shui consultant in New York, and my primary customers were single women. And they tell me that they were, like, struggling financially, and then we would go through their stacks of paper and be like, there's a $10,000 check sitting right here. Or, like, oh, are you aware that you haven't sent these 15 invoices? Like, there's so much money right here.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Right here. And that was such a beautiful lesson too, like, what was right in front of me.
Kate Northrup:The low hanging fruit. The low hanging fruit. And then and then when we start to attend to the low hanging fruit, it actually creates momentum. So you said, you know, there was the piece with clearing your debt, and then there was this piece around this one hour of paperwork that you avoided for two years. And then, like, so been there.
Kate Northrup:And then and then you said other things came to pass afterwards. So I'd love to know you know, here we are. It's about a year later, a little less than a year later since you joined the program. How are things going with your money? How are things going with your business?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. So well, I have one more one more, like Please. Example that's within
Kate Northrup:Love it.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. I had also avoided dealing with something. I had a official separation agreement, but there was an issue post separation that I couldn't deal with again because I was in a lot of overwhelm. And it meant going back to my lawyer and going through a process and dealing with some stuff that I started to understand from my childhood that was still affecting me today, nervous system and fight or flight and how I was managing my money. When I finally was able to hire the lawyer, go through the process, have the conversations, I received another $80,000, which is the exact amount that I was in debt, which I love.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I love that synchronicity. That was also a huge win. And there was a huge win on a financial level, and it was a huge win on an emotional level because I had to move through something that I had experienced in my past that I think I was still trapped around. And to have gone through it again and got the result that I got was, again, another life changing, game changing moment. And then I'll add when it comes to my business and my career.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:So I started looking at having already been on TV as a style expert, I started looking at how can I continue to do what I love? I love sharing what I do with people. I feel very comfortable in front of a camera. And I think we had a session where we're looking at, like, other ways to make money. Yes.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And so I thought, well, I've done a commercial in the past. I could do that. That feels easy to me. I put together an acting resume, posted it. An agent reached out to me by November, October.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I can't remember when exactly. By December, this past December, I did my first commercial. So that's like a new income stream that's coming in.
Speaker 3:That is
Kate Northrup:so cool. Yeah.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And then in my business, I feel like it's been really helpful for me just to with my nervous system starting to settle down, I think this is a really cool win for me personally is to start moving away from the part of me that wants everything to be like, papa, like, perfect. And my, you know, imperfectionist was running the show and really, like, settling into, like, what do I actually wanna do? How do I wanna do it? And, like, really, I think tapping into more more of who I am, which ultimately is what I do when I work with my clients. It's, like, really connecting to, like, who are you?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:How do you wanna show up? And I've been doing that in my business. So it means that right now, I'm on a little bit of a hibernation mode. I've gone quiet, but it feels good because I feel good about it.
Kate Northrup:So beautiful. Yeah. Because when we're not operating from performance anymore, we can actually be true to ourselves, and that requires an internally sourced sense of safety from our nervous systems.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. Yeah. You can't fake that. I feel like the level of first of all, like, compassion and grace I have for myself in this journey I've been on has increased, but also my faith and trust. Like, the the one thing we haven't spoken about, maybe you're gonna come on to it, but it's, like, my connection to the divine and the sense that I have about again, just being fully connected that we are all one and and faith and trust that, like, my life is cyclical.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I'm in a, like, maybe a bit of, like, a contraction at the moment, but it's perfect. But it's perfect.
Kate Northrup:And and how how did that come about for you? Like, was that expected as a byproduct of this work? Yeah. And and and how did that land for you?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. No. I don't think I went into this expecting that piece. I always thought, well, you know, that that might be something that I'm exploring somewhere else, but not necessarily within the container of relaxed money. And I think the moment I really dived into that further was the forty days of.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. The forty day abundance accelerator. Accelerator. I mean, I have moments where I remember doing it. I have a nature reserve near me and sitting outside and just I mean, in such awe.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:And I remember sharing with friends, like, I feel so much more connected to all that is greater than me and all that is within me in a way that I hadn't before. It was a really beautiful and unexpected outcome of this work, and I feel like it's it's it's like forever changed me. I feel different.
Kate Northrup:That's what happens when we plug ourselves back in. Yeah. So good. I love that so much. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:So if somebody is considering joining, they're thinking about, you know, obviously, the workshop, good with money, but also the program itself, and they're feeling scared, feeling hesitation, feeling like, ugh. I've done so many other things. You know? I know that you've been in the personal development world. This is not your first rodeo.
Kate Northrup:What might you wanna share for them? Because it sounds like you didn't actually have many objections or hesitations when you joined, but but what might you share with someone who's on the fence and hesitating? I mean, what
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I have been sharing because I I I've been spreading the word about this. It's been You? So, yeah, so transformational for me. Like, I'll tell people because a lot of the people I know in my circle have also done a lot of programs. And I've said, I've done a lot of things.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:This is easily one of the most important programs I've ever done. And I think it's because it's not just about the day to day money management. I mean, you can learn that in lots of different places. The fact that this starts in the body first, I mean, that's what really tips the scales for me because I believe so much is happening here. The somatic work, the nervous system, the understanding of the nervous system, but bringing in together the spiritual element, the practical element.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I feel like even if someone isn't in the situation that I was in, which felt pretty urgent and and stressful, I think any anyone can benefit from from being in the program. Just understanding your relationship to money in a new way, learning new tools to steward money, or even just connecting to money on a level that's beyond the three d and moving into other realms. I mean, I feel like it hits so many key important areas of of how we live.
Kate Northrup:Oh, good. And I'm curious for you, Joy, what's next for you? Like, what's the threshold that you're on, the thing you are excited about, the thing that's alive for you in terms of your career or your money or both?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. I think I have a a creative project that I'm excited to start that is in the realm of adornment and dressing, but really, like, moving even further into the pleasure piece, which lights me up so much. And I think as part of that and just generally, I I'm really digging the idea of just, like, unmasking. Like, getting further into who I am, letting it be a hot mess. Sometimes moving away from the idea that things have to be, like, perfect and professional, and, like, just, like, more myself, more real that really lights me up.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:More that sense of, like, my wings unfolding. I mean, and this is, a a general answer to maybe a specific question, but I that's what I'm getting excited about. Like, who else is on the other side? Like, who is on the other side of this? What else is coming?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:I also feel like the sense of curiosity, like, who knows? But I feel like excited. Yeah. Excited. Excited to, like, see what's on the other side.
Kate Northrup:I love that. I love that. This is the best. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I didn't know really any of those details.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I'm, like, so delighted.
Kate Northrup:I'm so excited for you. That was a fairly rapid trajectory of Yes. Inflammation. Yeah. And I'm I'm in awe, and I'm just, like, giving you a big standing ovation for what you've created and, like, diving in so fully committed to doing the work, finding that accountability partner, you know, really saying, like, this will not be one of those online courses that's gonna collect dust, you know, with a password in my inbox that I never open.
Kate Northrup:Like, that is what changes our financial lives showing up because our our energy will will call in a match for abundance based on how committed we are. And you're the living embodiment of that level of commitment to your financial well-being, and it's just so beautiful to see all the ways. It's like that, you know, $80 that was an exact match and then wiping the dead and then the 13,000 and all the ways that you've been able to give yourself permission to be in the season you're in in your business without an unnecessary overlay of scarcity or false urgency. Yeah. It's profound.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. It's pretty awesome. Yeah. It's
Speaker 3:pretty awesome. It's pretty awesome. Okay.
Kate Northrup:So if people wanna connect with you, learn more about what you're doing, learn more about, you know, just your offerings or or anything, where should they go?
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Yeah. So the best place to go is my website. It's blackladyofleisure.com, or Instagram. That's another great place. Same handle, black lady of leisure.
Kate Northrup:Amazing. So we'll put all of that in the show notes. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for being a part of our community.
Joy Asibey-Gabriel:Oh my gosh. Thank you. I can't thank you enough. This has been amazing.
Kate Northrup:Once a year, I teach a money workshop that is an absolute game changer for ambitious humans who are ready to not only make good money, which they may already do, but also to feel good with money, be good with money, and do good with money. So if that's you, if you are ready to heal your relationship with money, if you're ready to have rock solid financial systems that allow you to feel held and receptive and in flow. And if you are ready to unlock the abundance that really wants to pour into your life, join me for good with money. This only happens once a year and you can reserve your spot over at katenorthrup.com/good. This is your time.
Kate Northrup:Your financial power and ease await. Join us at katenorthrup.com/good.