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The Saucer King dies by committee. A surviving fey regurgitates the stolen ring and crowns Oren monarch of a bird cult he never asked for. Tannhauser dreams of sketched-out men peeling his shadow-flesh off. Baldrick keeps blowing up the grove anyway. An oread named Tashti walks up asking about the explosions.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
all righty everyone are you ready for another exciting episode of rock grind
the dlc is talking the dlc is talking from the depths we're in the queue we'll unlock tanhauser when we're out of the queue
there's only 10 000 people in front of us look it was a poe launch yesterday i know this feeling
zoran can you get us the update your driver's ogren okay boop
hi everybody i am zoro the bear your host for narrative declaration welcome to another exciting
episode of rock grind it's episode 22 it also is the last episode of the year we made it we made
it all the way through 2022 folks we survived yay yay oh god we did it let's get ready to do it all
over again next year
so with that uh before we announce everyone just really big update i don't understand some people
like to skip the intros but i really uh encourage you to listen to this one because it's some really
important stuff because you might understand might be confused where did the show go what happened x y
what what occurred and da da da so uh we've contacted twitch and we got ourselves a narrative
declaration channel which is easy to make you just make an account for it but they automatically
partnered in so after this episode all future streams for narrative declaration all of our tabletop
stuff and everything will be at the uh new narrative declaration channels if you go to twitch.tv
forward slash narrative declaration right now uh you can go ahead and uh catch yourself up on that
follow that channel and uh see all of that stuff and that to people here in a moment or if somebody
else could help me out have a billion windows i got you thank you thank you thurston yeah over there
and also i think the baldrick facepalm amount got uh got accepted on there because because for new
accounts you have to go through an accepted pro accepting process for the emotes so if you want
the facepalm amount um it'll be there for subscribers and stuff and i think the first 10 subscribers of
it get a founder badge i think several people have already subbed already but uh founder badge you get a
pink one that stays with you about a while but yeah well that's it we uh we're able to update all
that we'll also be releasing a video and stuff updating people on all new developments we've been doing
and stuff like that so thank you everyone who's been sticking with us in the show uh for such a long
time and now we could separate all the all the weird bear stuff and put it all on the narrative
declaration stuff you don't have to deal with all the weird talking animal things yeah so first off i
like to uh actually second off i'd like to introduce the amazing individuals who have been bringing you
rock grind starting off with odoroshi hi hello i'm odo today i will be playing vali the sylph swashbuckler
tomorrow who knows i hope everybody has a wonderful christmas and a very very happy new year
at the next stop we have our ever imposing the ever growing hokey crow hello mom god i hope i'm not
growing any further i can barely fit through my door frame i keep hitting my head on the top of it
but yes i am hokey crow but what was it sorry i feel your pain like i'm too broad-shouldered and
there's some doors in my apartment like for my shoulders i can't walk through god i have to go
sideways why it's like there's just like it's like a trapedial shape it's just like you just crunch
through the door frame with your arms crunched in your broad i got life like shoulders i got laughed
the girlfriend was here i was like hey watch this and i would just walk through the door but my
shoulders would stop in the frames and i'm like i can't go i can't go the collision mesh doesn't let
you true no but i i i am playing the kanrasu cleric rahua uh and i echo uh odor's feelings i hope you
all have a merry christmas coming up as well as a happy holidays and don't forget you guys you guys are
the real person and after the sweetness the one who can brew even more sweetness is our amazing
erandu what the fuck are you talking about anyway yeah i'm erandu you can meet me at twitter at
at erandilio and i'm playing as baldrick the alchemist and i'm going to mirror what they said
and yeah that was what they said it so i'm not gonna and now i'm gonna give you back the microphone
um zoran the bear here you go oh okay thanks thanks thanks i appreciate it yeah let me just pass it
back to you all right and why the dlc that everyone has finally unlocked the return of speaker d
rot grind has noticed a problem with processing your debit card you'll need to give me your debit card
numbers zoran right now plus the three numbers on the back and the expiration month and year but hurry
soon rose tannhauser might not be able to revolve his way out of this one would you also like my social
security in my oh and your social security yeah if i could get that if you have your keys on you too
that just make the whole process okay cool this is how you turn on the card yeah that's it all right
awesome yeah your twitch password and your real phone number can we get that on stream okay okay
and here's my real name all right thank you yeah good good good yeah hi everybody i'm speaker d uh i've
been sick and i've been tired and by god the month of november has been a hell for me but by golly gosh
it's great to be back here with my friends and with all of you lovely people at chat i will be playing
tannhauser he's a robot he's a magus and by god is he revolutionary he spins every day every single
fucking day dedicated to the 360 craft it's his favorite console the man behind the slaughter
is a good game but it's not on 360 so he plays single three instead and the one who is constantly
spinning plates the one leading us for the adventure is our illustrious game master thurston
hillman hi how's it going good intro thurston and i am your host i try i try every time you know
look i'm just gonna gm some stuff uh the people already said happy holidays all that stuff look i'm
i'm just i'm just here to to bring the game to people faster because you know that's what they're
here for they're here to watch the game here to watch the stuffing oh the misery i am your host
zoran the bear i have been bringing we've been bringing to you all the narrative declarations
rocker on if you really like what we do patreon.com forward slash uh not rockering narrative
declaration is very good to help us out and we're gonna be releasing some neat stuff we even got like
game master diage we're talking about stuff and uh thurston uh i think you're you are making one
with two tell stories and everyone else for even for me yeah we're gonna talk about maps we're gonna
talk about maps and how they work yeah it's gonna be cool i'm gonna probably do a few of those
so it'll be cool we'll talk gm-ing stuff and things and stuff yeah exactly but yeah yeah adventure do
you have for us today all right all right all right all right so previously our band of destined
chucklefox made their way into the depths of a strange forest within the solitude trying to find
a missing ring to complete the mystery of a church that they had discovered submerged in the lake of
acid yeah this all happened uh by the way that's the update for you speaker in case you hadn't seen
the episodes uh traveling into the forest they discovered the presence of saucer fey which included
their foul monarch a battle ensued and the party managed to defeat the good king saucer
however somewhere else someone was having a bad dream
tanhauser this is unrelated to the bad dream right yeah absolutely this is just me coming in
tanhauser you are having a somewhat restless attempt at sleeping you're on your side you're you're
there is a wind that is blowing over you that continues to to strike at your face um sort of
peppering the skin uh that's exposed with tiny particulates of sand matter uh you can hear the
crackling of a fire nearby this all seems very familiar
ah yes
i hope this is the good version of this dream and not the bad version of this dream
i look around across the sands what wastes and as as you do so almost as if on cue to your
your question to the cosmos a shout in a in a voice that distorts so its exact timbre can't be
measured though you know who it is you hear this we are betrayed we are betrayed we are betrayed we
are betrayed golgotha's wrongs have found us found us found us found us uh two arms two arms and um
um tanhauser my good friend um could you please
uh roll me some initiative i would love nothing more perception for this please
haha that's a five on the dice so a 19 and don't i love it i'm gonna i'm gonna roll some dice here
we'll get there we go very good very good all right so as you wake up and look around around
tanhauser you see that you are you are amidst some ruins in a desert there's a crackling fire near you
what appears to be the remnants of some some supplies that are as a pitched tent over it but but more
more more striking nearby is this immense hand of stone the fingers sort of beckoning towards you
maybe 20 feet away from you it looks like the eight different renditions of a giant hand coming out of
the ground that you probably saw at the game awards for all those previews um and as you look at it
you then see skittering figures moving in the distance around and the first one emerges
towards you and you see what looks to be a human-sized floating figure that looks as though it had been
colored over by like like ink washed out um in fact the lines sort of blur over its form
and it floats towards you just as you're sort of getting up um and and not not prone but it comes
and it attempts to reach out one of these drawn over hands towards you
and it misses you uh and that will be the end of this creature's go tanhauser what are you doing
touch not the gob of the revolutionary and i will activate uh true strike and then go for a small strike
okay
so let's rock i didn't target him i fucked up uh 29 that will be a critical hit
oh then i won't reroll because there's no reason not to
so crit
for uh six damage and now the spell i didn't indicate which one it was because i haven't played in a while
but it was indeed um default default so double damage on this so 14 times 2 28
okay
you strike at it viciously um with with your attack and as your your damage goes through
that this sort of drawn over man man thing recoils and you hear this sort of garbled sound um like a
distortion like as it recoils back
speak plain or die there are no room for foes in this desert
and then another one floats in from the south moving through the the stacked goods behind you that
you've sort of set up for yourself it floats towards you and reaches out a hand towards you tanhauser
and a lack of a less misses it reaches out again
all these missing as you definitely avoid them
then
another floats through the wall
comes up to you
peers in the air and reaches towards you
and strikes you this time with a uh deft hit
and you feel your matter somewhat to dissolve as this thing
he touches your hand and for a brief moment it looks as though
part of your flesh is removed by an eraser
what strange magics
and then the one that you had previously damaged that seems quite content to stand by you reaches out again
oh oh oh this one will will critically hit you as you you shout out what are these strange magics
and it's hands both of them go to the side of your head and begin pressure like giving slight pressure and you you almost see
the the the skin that covers part of what your eyes can see dissolve around them as it seems like your face is being dissolved
and you take 10 more points of damage but then as it peels peels back its hands moving back
you see it's pulling something with it and as this sketched out form draws back and pulls back
you can see it's pulling out a shadowy version of you
a version of you that still has flesh and still is a man and not a machine
and as it takes this
it floats away holding it wait
i've long long dwelt in these sands my every waking moment dedicated to war if this thing thinks it can
steal even a fracture as part of me something long forgotten it's mistaken i make an attack of opportunity
oh my god you took that at sixth level oh my god
oh my god
he landed his feet
he's using his feet just to roll the one
it's it's a three
oh it's a three
oh
would you like to spend a hero fight
or
yeah good damage king good damage yeah yeah keep the hype up or else he dies
so then you get to do it for free i'd hardly be upset yeah and your blade moves through this
partially incorporeal being representing its uh slight damage reduction against uh non-ghost touch weapons
get wrecked tan hazard no but it is your go tan hazard as you see this thing running away absconding
with your shadow of flesh and life
i am not someone that is easy to steal from i will teleport to him
okay uh do i have enough distance to get
i can get here
ooh this is difficult
you know what let's rock for it i'm gonna teleport to him
okay uh i will make my attack
that i get from teleporting do it
i still hit you still hit
this time it's three damage sir
uh once again your blade goes to strike but
it passes through as again this incorporeal specter holds on
that's fine by me because now my spell strike is refreshed
and i am going to just
you want the past then i'll give you the flame i was born in
and i will spell strike him
with produce flame
that will be a crit
that should be a map penalty though when i still crit with it
oh that's right you will not crit with that if you did not add the mat
my apologies you will just say no malade
yeah my fault all right we'll rock some damage for five damage
uh it is not to be the same
i don't know what matters
and then the the spell damage
and now the spell damage
13. all right all right
the flames engulf it
and as they do
you see this this enigmatic form dissolve and your your flesh-like body stares back at you
uh in disbelief for a moment
but as that that brief moment occurs
the shadows continue their advance towards you
and as they do
you wake up in a cabin
you look around you've been in this cabin before
it's it's quaint it's homely
um
give me a perception check regular just just flat regular percept
you got it boss
let me just open up another tab by accident
oh my god my god what has he done
you that is a 30. as you as you sort of wake you can see thin lines of blackness sort of recoiling
from the edges of the room from the corners of this cabin back into nothingness like slithering tendrils
pulled back as you wake
and i don't recognize them at all
no um well you could give me a um
arcana or occultism
i'll happily make you an arcana check
yeah
uh 23
you you recognize it as sort of telltale um imagery of the rot
i see
this rot infested cabin do i recognize it
oh absolutely i mean the rot is no longer there but you definitely recognize this cabin
it's proven very useful on your journeys through the swamp
i should take this inconvenience as it comes
this is likely the least the rot can provide me
bad dreams
i'm blessed compared to valley
i'm going to i get out of the cabin and i'm going to search for
perhaps a trail of my companions or whatever else i was doing
here as you walk out of the cabin you find yourself very quickly in a in a grove uh it is filled with
all manner of um all manner of fungi and trees and has this sort of this lambent glow of almost purple
from some of the bioluminescent uh fungus that's around and you walk out just as the air sort of
begins to to fill with the pitter patter of rain and you turn to see all of your companions standing there
looking quite disheveled and rather beaten up
and you find yourself in this grove with them
kind of propose a thing to the group
uh yeah go ahead so you know when people when some people get off like air airlines or so or like aircraft
and uh there's like a bunch of people with like flowers and stuff and necklaces waiting for them to put on their neck
you know can we all have like can i spend a narrative declaration to have like us holding a bunch of
signs saying welcome back to the campaign tan elzer yeah and then like orange is like doing the sign
flipping and you know he's just like flipping it like pointing to like your friends point sign
points to pig turn points to rahua while you're doing that i'm in a corner strapping bombs to the giant trees
i want to spend my narrative declaration doing that like welcome back mr chandhauser
i'm happy to help you out with this zoran i think thurston i got a question to ask you okay uh among
the saucers that we laid waste to last session uh they just fizzle out into nothing or do they leave
like anything behind all of the regular ones left corpses with the exception of the king who fizzled out
into nothing okay do i have to make a narrative declaration to make a sort of like a lay made
of saucer viscera so i can put it over tan hauser's neck who hurt you but yeah sure oh you know damn
well who hurt me it was last session it was 300 pounds if you need a reminder of his majesty um yes
but thank you oh his majesty his majesty oh his majesty also apologies for how the handouts look a
bit different now because they changed how the things were there yeah i think it's a different
button you have to do but it's uh it's already upgraded to version 10 the the foundry and i've
updated everything so if something messes up chat forgive us oh i i see what button i have to do now
see now i get it haha um yes yeah so so yes the big boy from from last session uh however however i did
mentioned briefly at the end of last session there was something that was floating in the air and in
fact as tan hauser you emerge from the cabin taking a few steps into the grove towards your friend uh
sort of floating in the air just in front of rahua uh is an object i'm gonna okay let's see if this
works uh and this object floats in the air it resembles a small crown uh with crackling with energy
can i touch the fall guy crown you you could touch the fall guy crown yes i would like to
like the fall crown okay okay you touch it it it brims with energy as you touch it uh crackling along
your skin sort of this this little tingle of energy would you like to try to identify it as you touch it
no i'm just gonna let it languish in my inventory like the perpetual glove talk yeah yeah this is
we're just going to let it sit there yeah we're gonna wait one session to finally unpack it like
it's all christmas and then there's just gonna sit here like there was lore at that moment i had it
all you realize we're going to great look at it we will definitely be forgetting about this because
we will not be having a session for probably over a month true we should probably identify it
okay yeah tadhauser wakes up walks out of the cabin and volley is just like thank you for not being funny
good morning uh can uh can you look at this thing oh guys you shouldn't have flowers and signs and
viscerine you very clearly just recently murdered a monarch you guys are the best i learned it from
you mr tannhauser we overthrew a government all by ourselves i'm so proud of you orrin soon you will
be destroying the machinations of statecraft let me tell you there is a specter haunting all of outset
a specter of revolution anyway what is this weird thing as soon as you say revolution orange spins
certainly understands that word well now how is your visit to the undiscovered country tannhauser
well i just i did a lot of soul searching there and i need to admit something to you all
i've come to realize that there's more to life than revolution that perhaps my quest to usurp
the governments are wrong and that perhaps perhaps we should value the lives
you almost had me go in there i have learned nothing and grow not at all as a person
the corpses of our friends lead the way to a brighter future for the many
that is so true i should write that in my little red book
i don't like this character development
you know i would ask who hurt you orin but i know who hurt you it's okay everything mr and everything
will continue to hurt my friend it will always hurt do you see horror in orange eyes oh just wild
mania in rahua's optic
a single sorcerer lands on the ground behind you have to slay
kill it oh what the is that hey hey you flaps down and like has its its wings spread out in like
what is clearly some attempted a non-threatening
position and it hops very slowly towards rahua
it could be a bomb no i think baldrick already detonated most of those
no i still got most of them in my pack you're the king now hoot hoot
what is that how you hold the crown you're the king hoot hoot what what that's how your
whole system works just whoever has the crown and is just currently holding it
hoot hoot who are you to fucking judge us hoot
holding crowns is no system of government mr saucer
hoot hoot worked for us until you murdered our king now he's the king hoot hoot we have gift for
king hoot hoot oh i've i've never been a king before but don't let it go to your head
literally there's not much up there to begin with but yeah okay i mean what kind of gift do you have
for us little and its mouth is like retching like oh yeah oh wow and it lets out like this this gargle
of like clearly just mush and matter uh that like lands on the on the floor in front of it looks like
on the stones but as it as it lands and the rain patters around it begins to wash away some of the
the crudeness that had just expelled expelled and you see a shining silver ring with a green gemstone in
it oh i almost forgot we were here for a ring i got so caught up in the ecstasy of uh of of regicide
that i completely forgot we had an objective here it is intoxicating isn't it but uh yes great
that was a horribly unpleasant thing to witness but wow thank you this is a very cool funny gift
wait if the king had the ring then how did this thing get the ring did it eat part of the key
no the king didn't have the ring it wasn't on his person
yeah i hadn't given it to him yet who took guy was an asshole hoot you know you know orrin
if you're wondering how it eats and breathes and other scientific facts just repeat yourself
it's just a sorcerer and you should really just relax
so um yeah mst3k in my pen and paper game
it's more likely than you think
well i suppose with this exchange of pleasantries little sorcerer i do suppose it begs the question
are we cool now because the one who slighted me and i slighted him is dead and for good for good
only good reasons so is there the whole like interesting conflict between our two people now
or are we like rahua will throw up his arms and like a attempt to be cool kind of gesture are you
like what like like like bro bumping the the sauce or like he's not he's not bro bumping it was like
i don't want to see throwing gang signs but he's just like throwing up his arms trying to be cool
just like we cool bro we good we good oh my god hulk you never feel like if you want if you want
things to be cool you might want to say something to me because i am currently putting bombs around
the the clearing here who toot we cool and he like turns and takes a hop away and then another hop
and then pauses and like rather than turn around his head just moves 180 because these things are
just eerie as hell uh and it looks at you just says hoot and if you ever have a hero point you can
summon us hoot hoot and then flies away thank you what in papa storm's name is a hero point
oh if only you knew oh man this is getting too meta for me i'm gonna look at the camera now and
address the chat
oh hey thurston i put down the uh i put down the last of my coring charges uh can i start
detonating them oh yeah absolutely okay who are now that you're the king i think you can
really reorganize these sorcerers into a peaceful organization of worker cooperatives and citizen
councils if you'd like i have these political treaties for you to consider as we begin reorganizing
these beautiful people all right never mind
just yeah he's just blowing everything up again wait wait wait what are we doing what is the what
is the plan here i i don't know i think he's just trying to take out his frustrations on the wildlife
again why is it all my anathemas probably are screaming right now but we don't go with that lore
all right let's go move on let's go come on this place is gonna burn down wait we probably shouldn't
put it down because i guess we're okay with him maybe we shouldn't take alan okay anyway
i grab him by the jacket we could have had a bird militia why would you want the fey to be your
militia they're untrustworthy ah it doesn't matter more bodies for the grinder the revolution
stop blowing them up they are on a timer let it be known i didn't sanction this i'm so okay with
everybody you didn't tell me not to so this time is your fault yeah i told you what i was going to do
well i didn't come back these guys are out here eating people and tearing innocent folks apart from
the safety of their little glade so i figured i'd take it away from them i say mr bondrick i i want to
see how i look just follow out with me okay okay get ready da da da da da figure comes running out of
the woods that was all seven of them so that's it this figure is is running at an incredible speed um
clearly distraught over something probably all the explosions um and as as they sort of run out
they they look damn and they see you uh their their hands sort of over over their their hooded head
um clearly looking around and this this uh this figure who as as they they meet your eyes you can
tell that their skin has an almost rocky complexion to it they have almost pure opaline eyes and then
where a head of hair should be is instead pulled back crystal interesting this figure sort of looks up
um what's going on you don't look like a sawsaur to me
no definitely not a sawsaur well then you might want to get out of here
uh are you the explosions no those are i'm pointing over to the the steadily burning mushroom
oh that was an accident i accidentally cued that sound up a second ago and it just didn't go off
i thought you had seven deaths not eight that explosion didn't happen that was that was voice
mod lagging yeah well um did you um deal with the and like they sort of take a step forward look
around seeing like the fire the various saucer corpses that litter the grove we sure did
oh don't tell me you're friends with them
oh oh oh by the gods no no no i was sent here to find out what they were doing but it looks like you
got to them first i got a bit lost in this forest and that's a lot of dead birds
yeah we were busy it was a bit of an ordeal
uh-huh um who are you people well my name's pick turns squelchfoot and that's a great question
you're not affiliated oh okay you're not affiliated with me you haven't even taken the entrance
examination and grabs pick turns you don't have to have this bit again it's like no picture and it's
just that we're trying to make sure you're safe for the whole relationship thing so if we go to jail
you don't go to jail you get what it means you know we're able to break off so you're safe that's
what we're doing here don't worry picture we you're our buddy you're our buddy old pal pat pat
it's just we were adventures of santa claus haven't you ever seen that to find a ring we have
collected the ring because the birds wouldn't listen to reason now the birds are mostly gone
and they will have to find a new place to live because i don't trust fate like that you're not a
fey are you what no okay good why would you why would you think i was a fey have you let me let
me ask do you understand how fey work their eyes like go wide as it's like their their eyelids pull
up revealing more of the opal uh yeah then you know it's a good idea to be oh it's it's a matter of
being preventative okay i don't like sitting out here and waiting for a bunch of birds to come in
and trick you into being their next punching bag and believe me we've been punched by those guys
before i feel like we are not being the most diplomatic here might i ask your name affiliation
what brings you to this neck of the woods
can you give of course of course like at this point now you're trying to be diplomatic so i want to be like
tanhauser give me a diplomacy check but i also know mathematically how that will go um but they
they look at you sort of like up and down my my name is tashti it's a pleasure to meet you
a pleasure to meet you as well i am tanhauser these are my companions we were doing uh some
bullshit i don't know i've been away for a few days i don't know anything about a ring or why the
forest was on fire why there are dead birds everywhere don't bother asking me but in that
case you know kind of beckoning volley forward known diplomat person who might should probably be
speaking instead of the guy who just fell in hot drop style from the battle bus well i wanted that i had
to give tannhauser the opportunity to make a friend honestly you all fall apart without my stabilizing
influence i know you're so stable tanny i am i'll kill them all time roll to make belladonna
hi hello uh your you said your name was tashti i'm vali these are my friends we're currently on a bit of an
expedition of our own through these woods and we got a bit sidetracked with the sawsaurus they took
something we wanted we got it back there were some problems but we've resolved them uh could i
what you're doing in this area you give me a diplomacy check okay fine she's supposed to she has the
skills i i do in fact have the skills i have the plus 12 diplomacy i'm better if i'm just lying
uh but i don't feel like doing that right now that's a 22. i'm gonna quickly i'm gonna very
quickly derail uh you might not want to give me control over tannhauser's sheet because i might
change his name to butt what why do you have control over a sheet i just i just do you're six foot six
yeah there's fucking huge holy fuck i'm gonna obliterate you that's cheating i you know i i
made him six foot six because piebrain was a short king but i feel like tannhauser has short king
energy like my brains no he should he should totally loom over people and talk about the
fucking stuff you just have him like lean over them like a crane yeah he's got stilt legs you know what
here's here's here's the canon height of tannhauser tannhauser is however tall fan artists draw tannhauser
if they think it's funnier for him to be tiny or better for him to be tall i give that power to
the people that's what tannhauser would have wanted just looked at him like you're six six since when
every time he gets slighted he just goes up one more yeah yeah he gets a little taller every time i
miss a spell strike i shrink an inch every time i hit one he was originally four foot three yeah
you're like the super saiyan every time you go down you go up one more you're more powerful
exactly if he gets really mad it increases his creature size but instead of going up one so he
just occupies like four squares instead of two he just he just gets wider all right so 22 on diplomacy
i like these bits that we have that tashi's a senior like why are they talking about six foot six
what's going on i was talking as earned bill it's just not my i i literally kind of differentiate
myself from baldrick okay oh no i i know that i'm just saying it's really funny if it was in that
context and we're like oh you're wanting to just what is your name if they why are you this tall why
why is your id say this ten hauser took a nap and came back six six and only baldrick noticed
it's a really big platformer she is so thurston 22 he's got his demonias on well uh like i said i came
here to find the cause of the primal storm which seems to have abated i'm assuming because of all of
this murder uh i was sent from the speaker of my kaibu and i guess this is over now so
you know and then they take a step back uh so we accept payment in forms of gold or precious items
uh things of that nature if you would like to compensate us for all i love making negotiate
checks negotiations are short uh anyway so um you why are your people investigating the
sorcerers have they been causing you trouble personally well well there was a storm now it's
not here when the sky gets rainbow over a region we take interest ah well that is fair why are you all
moving steps back a bit as like you can't be moving into who was moving into backstand position
what's the matter can a tree donut somebody and not get judged um right yeah so now that that's dealt with
are you just going back where are your people based out of can you ask any more can you ask any more
potentially threatening questions to someone do people have an inline vulnerability to any sort of
condition do i need to start putting points in diplomacy do i need to start doing this because
you might just keep asking the questions that get us in trouble everyone she's made of precious jewels
we can bring her and make her so much okay okay i'm done i'm done i'm done introducing
NPCs into this camp again because i swear to god any time i try to introduce them it's this
a canvas every blade a paintbrush i apologize for the flanking behavior stupid out of our systems
yet we're gonna explode it's never gonna leave can i try no absolutely not why not apologize for the
flanking behavior of my compatriots regardless i simply ask just to uh to ask how things are out
in the swamps we're sort of on a bit of a journey sorry one one one second okay okay okay so the
three of you that have been obtaining flanking position these three here three one ten hauser
i am not i just moved closer right they're the three in this party that have good alignments
i'm just pointing this out i'm just what i have neutral it's a really good flank
i just walked up when i was right by pick turd and went to the side of valley and was talking
don't wrap me into the murder hole no what's the bad name picture he's gonna go sit on a mushroom
do you guys understand what i have to deal with here and why it sometimes comes across that i'm like
ornery as fuck i'm not you set the forest on fire yeah and that's yeah and that's a good thing that's a good
thing no it's not you haven't determined that yet no you are assuming i i am assuming
shit i am gonna assume some shit right now personal i'm assuming some shit you have the perfect radar for
understanding when people are committing social faux pas safe for when it comes to setting things
a light and flame this person doesn't care they're happy it's done i love it person
okay check what i have to give you to determine the species of this individual and if it's something
that i've recognized in the past uh nature or society okay i'll give you a nature check
oh okay yeah let's write it in write it in here we go
anytime there you go you rolled it you rolled a 31. oh yeah yeah i'm sorry my thing is
fucked up i'm gonna just refresh it oh cool with a 31 you would recognize this as a human with the
oread heritage which is sort of the plain touched heritage this individual uh is clearly touched by earth
the elements so possibly had like some element infused in their bloodline or their family
was at some point graced by elemental powers and it manifested in this way
excellent now with that check would i be able to i assume a subsequent society check to determine
anything as far as if their people have major settlements out here if i've ever come into contact
with them on my travels yeah give me a society check i will as soon as uh forge stops dying
yes let us prepare for the shenting good while it loads back up we can because we skipped over the uh
conversation i i think at this point tenhozer is just going to say listen i'm going to tell you
what's up and i don't care what anyone else says listen to me now
how we were here they turned to you looking for a dragon
there is a dragon in these woods that has been kidnapped and experiment on experimented on by
deranged scientists from outset who have been injecting him with the rot
we are attempting to cut them off after their experiments were left behind for us to clean up
recently somewhere along the lines we ran afoul of these birds and then presumably murdered them
demolished their political system and i believe now our tree man rules them as a god king
that definitely happened i i'm related i think explosions happened now you essentially know what we're doing
here what are you doing here you know she's explained um you know and they look at you tanhauser and
then look at oran and then they look at volley and baldrick and rahua and then off to picture
and squelchfoot far off in the distance sitting on a mushroom who waves and then back to you tanhauser
you know i would normally not believe a story like that but looking at all of you i suppose that is the
only logical explanation i'm glad you could see reason
tell me have you happened to find a i don't know a evil coterie of scientists or perhaps a
rot infected dragon or any other sort of nastiness nearby
no no no i have not i just came from my kaibu and then came here and then this happened all of and
then again they look over everyone all of this the hell's a kaibu
20 give me a society check okay um is your society the same as nature i forget oh god no
well well then i told you to make a society check yeah i forgot i got an idea all right okay uh
baldrick you want to yeah what wait what am i doing uh do you want to roll society as you hear that
yeah the term yeah
well i'm not great 15. okay um he does gosh i think volley do you have society yeah i have a
semi-decent society yeah you can give me a society check not as much as my friends everyone can give
me give me some except for except for you know oren who has a minus one yeah yeah okay i got an 11.
as as everyone is like you know hearing this the only one who understands the the term kaipu is uh
tanhauser which is a uh sort of a community of solitude dwellers it's sort of the the name of a
group of traveling twang folk here oh ah i see if you would permit me and i understand if you would
care to refuse given the incendiary nature of our first meeting but as we travel through these swamps
we may rather we would greatly appreciate any opportunity to travel to your kaipu
for a night's rest before continuing on our voyage
well my kaipu is pretty far away so it's not quite a day's journey i see in what i pull out the map
uh in what direction is your kaibu
um that's a pretty personal question but uh rather than necessarily invade upon their kaibu as it
were perhaps it would be better off if we set up camp somewhere nearby and discuss the details over
a nice warm meal i'm not going to eat anything because you know i don't really eat but at the same
time this is what people usually do yes it's about the principle that is true it would give us also
an opportunity to show you our hospitality god you that sounds incredibly ominous especially coming from
you who seems to be glowing quite a bit that's just the glowing is unrelated oh god oh
yeah don't worry tree
oh wait
walk up to this individual and he will unfurl his wrist reach his hand back even in a very unpleasant
angle like imagine if someone's wrist broke or yeah the wrist is broken 180 degrees and reached back
into their own forearm and pull out a small flower as a sign of peace
hello tashti my name is ruhu we may have gotten off onto the wrong foot and don't let all the gore over
my frame dissuade you but i assure you we are nothing if not hospitable
i treat you please tell me more about your travels
hey um roll me a diplomacy check i know you're not good at it but give me give me give me the
old diplo mamasi here okay for who i believe in you okay yeah um so as you do this um tashi sort of looks at you and then they look over to vali and then back to you and nod a bit okay
you know maybe maybe a little maybe a little camp sit down would be nice if you wanted to murder
me i think you could probably try to do that right now but you aren't um so yeah how about we we go and
we camp a little and we talk a bit more and maybe i can figure out they sort of wave their hand uh what
all this is yeah maybe we want to get out of this burning clearing before it spreads too much further
probably a good idea
yeah luckily the rain should preserve it pretty well so okay
come on pickton we're gone camping
let's all go set up camp give me one second i'm gonna walk up to vali and baldrick and everyone
okay so are we just abducting this person this seems strange
no wait hold on what what you seem to understand what she meant when she said kaibu what what what
what is that well i don't understand this particular culture but it seems to be just another place for
which these people find their dwellings in retrospect asking them to place it down on a
map was foolhardy but i was attempting to be approachable rather than come off like a murderous
psychopath
hmm
who would ever think that
maybe it's the tone in your voice when you see hospitality in a threatening tone as if you're
about to sit up straight to you know to the underground level
maybe also don't come up to us and immediately suggest kidnapping them i'm not suggesting kidnapping
them i'm asking is this just a random person should we preoccupy them ourselves with this person
or should we just continue on to the dragon we can talk with them but we do have somewhere to be and
if they're not busy we can bring them along but if we're not going to require them to be there they
can go on their way exactly i'm not we must understand i agree with that and are they with
the twang folk did somebody say that out loud
or was that just something that tanhazer knew oh and tanhazer mentioned that that like ah yeah that
was the type of grouping i think they're with the twang folk that can help us with our
yeah exactly i mean that's warren will hold up his rotten hand that's what we've been looking
for oh wait i forgot the other reason we came here i hate all of you you have no idea you have no
idea how angry that exactly
this is literally the witcher problem it's like all right side quests for the next
five months everybody point out i want to point out when i was like oh let me try because i was
go oh well this is why we're here and then show the rot and doing all the other stuff everyone else was
like nah fuck you you're not allowed to talk fuck you bird because i was afraid you were going to try
and do diplomacy and do another fail if they're with the twang folk then i would like to speak to them
for obvious reasons yes yes yes oh my god i can't believe we got so preoccupied we almost
neglected this chance at finding what we came here for yes valley you should speak to the twang folk
right hope i didn't get off on the wrong foot oh no it's been a long day we come off like complete
maniacs oh well i guess that's just part of our charm isn't it no i think it is danny i think i think
we're all wonderfully charming i'm gonna regret this this scene i'm transitioning to but hey let's find
out what happens i'm just sitting here i'm just sitting here letting everyone do their thing at
this point i can't do anything come along picture and you get to eat tonight well i i get to eat
every night that's kind of a an essential um in fact i was thinking with this rain picking up a bit
maybe we you know if you won't i could create the cabin again i could just you know we could all
at least some of you could take a risk turn you've always been very helpful with the cabin
and you did a good job with the sawsaurers we just um you know we we're not very good at making
plans i mean you're all not very good at making plans i'm exceptionally good at making plans baldrick
is going to jab her with the blunt end of his mace ow hey hey if i was involved in the plan making
process it would have been just as cunning and undefeatable as our other plans but i was too busy
doing things you know i was sleeping i wasn't sleeping i went to sleep but that wasn't all i did
right while they argue down to picture and just you know i i don't we don't hate you i don't hate
you you did a very very good job with that big fight back there you that's all alive so let
please don't understand i appreciate you very much yeah what a nerd picture and haha he's very funny
huh don't ever let them know i said something nice to you they won't accept me no what is
happening today he fucking he fucking makes his cabin and goes inside this entire i'm so dire in the
two sessions no it's literally just this session we have not been like this for the past two i'm losing
my mind why are we so no let me let me gaslight speaker like and everyone's like i'm sorry picture
and we haven't we haven't broken one of your fingers today i don't know that we would have to bring two
tomorrow this all started because baldrick just wanted him to shut up for like a minute or two
and i was like we're at work so we can let the blame on you you are you are deflecting the blame on me
i hate this so long as we can all agree that i did nothing wrong that's fine exactly you're getting
a good good boy you haven't done anything wrong in the solitude so that'll give you credit bro
all right let's actually roll play now yes extremely put upon
uh how's it going turns out of the scene so whatever how's it going man what's going
no not glove talk all right let's rein it in okay okay okay oh he's gonna let him out of the glove
tall cage you do have to let him out otherwise he dies he's not he's back at outset
as we're camping we're uh but orange just kind of help healing people lovely i assume we're taking
the long rest so i assume yeah yeah yeah all the time yeah you're all back up to uh you're all back
up to full uh as you're sort of setting up for this camp and then sort of the outside there there's
some light rain nothing too too annoying uh especially since there is a lovely cabin you can go to to dry off
him when necessary um and then tashti joins you who seems fairly apt like adept at like setting up a
the little like resting space for themselves
okay oren what's the least awkward way to bring up the fact that we're both incredibly rotten
for the first time in my life i feel at a loss for words i mean i can i can go talk to him
um maybe we should do that together okay or we'll get up and sit down in front of a
ashi and we go like hi my name's oren and um sorry for my sorry for my friends they've
they've been on edge after us recently being under attack so please accept my apology for them
i appreciate it your group has a very unique energy
we think it's a it's a part of our charm
we um so we've we've mainly come with a small most of my friend gorgamonger you i heard that you
you didn't see a dragon or anything but um we do keep seeing anything please let us know because
one of the reasons we're here but the other reason
this and oren will show his wooden hand and rotten stuff in there
yeah volly you'll roll up her sleeve and hold up her arm next to oren's too
yes we heard that people here were able to help with this situation and
you know the solitude here has filled with many mysteries and many obstacles so
we've found ourselves to be a little bit on edge so
they're once more sorry that we've behaved in such a way but
you know of people who can help with this
it is of no great concern to me i knew from when i spotted you that
some of your group were rotten uh it is an affliction that brings
irregular visitors into this swamp is that obvious already
to someone who's trained and we of the the deeper solitude are are trained to
investigate now there are some solutions but i am not the one to speak of them
that would be for our speaker to explain aethon oh and that would be uh at this camp which is
as you said a good hike away
they nod slightly yes a good ways away but even then after you speak with aethon should they
present to you the information you require there is another journey you would have to make
for the only one who knows the the true means of combating the the rot is our is our local spirit
local spirit yes the great lord ribius
oh um and when you say spirits you mean like a like a spirit spirit
a manifestation of elemental energies
huh that's i can't claim to have seen anything like that before but has this thing ever
cured the rot before it combats it as best one can once the rot is in a being it it can grow or shrink
based on rituals and routines
does it just be a bunch of hokum like crawdadamus
does it ever go away
there's like a narrowing of eyes at the mention of crawdadamus as tashti they look over at you
baldrick we do not speak that foul name that is that is used by charlatans who
disrespect our ways and like you can see the tashi's almost visually shaking
oh only a fool would believe in that
voli the fool who believes in that oh
correct oh
voli reaching for their pistol
a street huckster who was just like yeah i can i can teach voodoo meanwhile everyone else who
actually practices the deeply religious and interesting spiritual art of voodoo staring at
voli like i'm going to kill you
oh okay um right i uh yeah i just wanted to ask
it's been uh this happened to us pretty quickly and pretty recently and it's only gotten worse at a
breakneck speed
yeah regrettably we are all similarly afflicted in some way but not quite as bad as these two right
they they sort of look over
well there are varying degrees of affliction but certainly um and they like look at voli and then
they look at or and you two are further down than others
right would there be
when you say that you can regress the advancement of rot
is there a certain point where there's no hope a point of no return because if it works at all on us
if it's possible to try on gorgamonger uh oren's dragon friend
it would depend on what has happened this is a delicate spiritual matter which they kind of look
uncomfortable and sort of lean in a little bit i don't really know all the particulars of i'm more of a
uh um more of a blasty spell caster type than a
oh
hmm
hmm
well do you does your village or anyone there know how to help with this i understand it's a lot to ask
to kind of find a location of that but
as i said elder elder athon would be the the person who could authorize or at least approve of
outsiders visiting with with lord ribius but it has been many it has been a long time since that has
occurred uh we have done it for some simply as part of our respect with uh with the great city uh for the
supplies they send um is there anything we could do to help you um to sweeten the deal maybe
i would not be the person to ask you would need to speak to aethon about that
the speaker is wise and in those matters uh did we get the location or has she not
filled that yet uh they have not revealed the uh specific orne wanted to ask going like uh do
you know where we can find them well it is the location of my kaibu has i i i must admit it is a
difficult thing to to give outsiders the location um
well baldrick's kind of just gonna hold up his hand for a moment and just try to assuage this a
little bit we were advised from a how can i say this from an individual who we sourced the information
from that the people who could give us the most information would be somewhere towards the
northwest of the solitude do you know them at all then they are most assuredly speaking of my kaibu
for that is where it resides it is a ways journey um typically involving travel to the west and then north
we were initially going to go and inspect that after we had well we had bartered for some information
about oran's friend the dragon and well we found some information out about it but regrettably it's not
conclusive
thurston i'd like to uh remember something if you can tell yeah in a while what was the warning that
alert gave oran because he said like not to go there and mess with it but what about like talking about
it oh no no no alert was basically basically explained to you that like here is the location
of your dragon and provided you that but then said don't go to the northwest which was where the
it seems the kaibu is located here all uh bring us back to yield yeah that's i literally remember
everything about it and i'm trying to like suss out the information as best i can without a visual aid
yeah so let's have a visual aid bam there you go so yeah mr alert gave you the message you don't go here
to like the the twang folk area which is also where you've sent out group b and you know the children
of the blaze were doing some stuff out there then you would know that he had indicated like mr alerted
indicated that your dragon is there yeah uh oran was basically gonna go um just pretty much give
this person a warning and like there's the individual who gave us that information warned us to not go
there probably where your folks are and i don't know if you know who the children of the blaze are
but they're enemies to you i hear that that's where he's going i suspect that there's they're going to be
in danger soon
the children of the blaze they are from the great city
yes we've had some dealings from my understanding fairly recently they ambushed one of the great
city's caravans ban bound for our kaibu
they have a reason to target you besides being dickheads
i do not know the supplies that come to our kaibu are stored in ribius's great cave
oh i know they could just be anarchists looking to cause trouble we did send a group to go and try
some find some information out about potentially where your group was stationed so that we could
come and find you and you know sort out our issues should be uh well i know for a fact one of them
she looks like a bandit and then there's a whole bunch of others that we also send along as hirelings
i don't suppose you encountered them did you i i did not but i assume you came from the trading post
to the northeast of here yeah zable zaps yes zable zap there's like a scorn in their voice as they speak
um i traveled south um and like for for purposes of map they kind of took a
this way type approach
so uh from what you've said of where you've sent them i would not have seen that group
well it's not particularly important if we've basically sent them out there to try and find
out where you guys were so we can meet up we're going to likely meet up with them sometime in the
future anyway so we'll get that information one way or the other
and where are you going now well uh i'll kind of ask for uh tannhauser's map
tannhauser you have it yes i will give him the map i heard your tears squeak
i just left it here mr opening a small compartment to pull out a creature to crush in his hands
that's right he unfurls the uh he unfurls the somewhat un incomplete map because we were
not given a concrete map of the solitude for obvious reasons and he will just sort of vaguely
point in this general direction like towards the coastline area just over here i'll be heading here
next because that's where the information we bartered for said that our dragon could be found
our orange dragon ah yes so uh from the the land of forgotten churches i see
yeah on that note we actually came here to get a ring because it potentially could have let us explore
well a sunken temple in a lake of acid would you happen to know anything about that
uh yes the the church of the pawn and they sort of put their finger marking down on the the map where
you've already been roughly in that region yeah we were there the ghosts were not hospitable
the spirits of the former attendants is my understanding uh there used to be a priest who
traveled there to maintain the structure since its decline into that acidic bog
baldrick's gonna hold up ring for a second don't suppose you've seen this ring on him
i did not see i only heard from others
though i'm bad feeling i know what the saucers got up to looks like a high quality
ring certainly he's gonna clench his hand and like tuck the ring back in his pocket well regardless
i see that's our plan i have a grim prognostication yeah we were sent on the path of this dragon not out of
any kind of charity on behalf of the children of the blaze but to get us out of their hair they didn't
want us opposing their operations and now we come to find out the twainfolk stronghold is not only in
the direction of original cause but is also where the children of blaze are said to be operating and
they've already taken some of their caravans it could be that the children of blaze have some
malign design upon this home base for the twang folk this kaibu
figured as much i didn't really trust anything that a lord said
guy's about as trustworthy as a screen door in a submarine
what's a submarine you see some interesting things when you learn in engineering college okay
regardless they teach you how to make sandwiches in engineering college
patrick just waves his fucking hand anyway can't be foolish for who a submarine's a craft meant to be
submerged under sand oh wait what yes trust me he's right on that one
they're vessels that are designed to withstand the pressure of gravity pushing the sand down but also
the gravity of lots of particulate matter pressing down on the vehicle it's better than traveling above
ground because it tends to be cooler under there
fascinating we'll have to ride on one sometime it's it's a pipe dream currently it's just a lot of
theories on it regardless
if that is the case then we do we do still have to investigate for this dragon if that's the last
information we can find on gorgamunger then we need to investigate it no point in coming all this
way only to suddenly book it north you know ghosts have a strange habit of traveling unimpeded
they can float through the air pass through material boundaries if you think it's worth it
if you have an inkling of the treasure within the ghost citadel we might be able to find something to
be able to arrive before the children of the blaze can enact their strange scheme it's a long shot but
it could be yeah how did you get down here were you just walking this whole time because that's like a
week's trip well a nod yes i'm fairly skilled at traversing this terrain and i am magically talented
baldrick suddenly gets an idea tenazer you weren't far off what would it take to enlist your help
after we get done with our little operation here to get us back to your camp
and at this point since volley is the best at it
oh he can absolutely interrupt me and say actually baldrick what i think you mean to
say is what can we what can you do for us for free to get us up there
i'm gonna have all of you roll me a diplomacy check but the primary will be volley yay listen
this is why i want to start putting points into diplomacy because i got some really good ways to
diplomat but i have no skills to back it up that's right oh that's not good
oh wow 22 for me oren with his minus one got a 12.
rahua punches her in the head no
rahua is just always looming i'm going to instant transmission and donut to steal her
undoubtedly valuable vital organs oh just take all of them anyway you rolled a net one so uh
uh tell me thurston what happens
oh um let's let's find out what happens on uh if there's some search to that you can submit your
own complication at patreon.com for slash narrative declaration where you can mess this up and we
changed the role in case you didn't see the other episodes where we explained it uh if they roll a
natural one they can't hero point it we've kind of adjusted that because it kind of felt weird so uh
yeah he's stuck with the natural one true it's true um one sec tell me what i have i'll let you know what i
mr tannhauser what were you doing all this time we we went over and we we found like that this acid lake
and there was like a beach and then we go with saucer words always let me tell you it was a grand adventure
there were so many things that i was doing so many great foes that i was mastering
ah what a tale anyway all right
all right i'm gonna use this one i'm using this one i'm praying zoran marked it down and didn't use it
before can you use this one down from toadbear it's the egg bonus has betrayed us no the fates
conspire against the party and secretly rahua had consumed an egg recently and it's just as they go
to contribute rahua you expel the egg from your orifice but just the smells associated with the egg
yes i think this is a great idea oh god what a horrendous boy oh god that is terrible
i'm sorry i tried to eat it i wanted the egg bonus but i forgot i don't eat
i guess the egg is on your face
baldrick immediately starts trying to kick the egg into the fire spell strike shocking
grasp level three um before you do that can you roll me your diplomacy check tanhouser
oh certainly i uh i'm excellent would you be willing to take a warfare check since most of my
diplomacy has been rooted in the material threat to the twig folks uh twig folk twig folk yeah with
a minus two penalty for calling them twig folk okay that is fair that does sound like a real racial
slur that people would use against them sometimes sometimes speaker you're the embodiment of that
adventure time character i know the approximate knowledge of many things that's right i am you you
you got nail on the head that is me i could nanite surge out of spite but i think i deserve those
oh go ahead nanite surge oh it was almost a 20. he's a hero pointed
into the one here we go i saw that i saw that 20 for a second i'm like thank god for tanhouser now
i'm gonna be like no i'm gonna be like no curse you god i got a twin too
nat 20. yeah tanhouser diplomatic moments
for a huge 30. tanhouser has impressed upon tashti the importance of the threat arrayed against the
kaibu and with a brief nod tashti looks up you raise many good points and since we are going to be
going along a similar path if your intent is to come to visit my people after you deal with this
draconic entity you can accompany me
well i am most grateful for such an offer i assure you that if we are able we will stop
whatever threat the children of blaze may prove to your people on that note you know how i was saying
that the ghosts might be able to spook us into going to a different area that was stupid i had a better
idea
yes tanhouser you are currently the president of the sorcerer worker cooperative council yes
why do you keep calling them worker quarter they're fey they literally tried to disembowel us at a
tavern oh well just because the petite bourgeois doesn't mean they can't form a union i don't know
what you're saying to me this you're scaring me all right because you have the crown another
the king of the birds there we i have a question for you shoot all right
why don't we get the birds to fly us to where we want to go
on that note let's take a break
trying to try to enact the why didn't the great eagles fly them to mordor strategy
you can get a large piece of wood everyone gets on it tie it to strings
it's the fucking door we'll be back everybody we'll be back we'll be right back
the saucer goes 24 miles per day all right without rest by itself two hexes two heads two hexes because
a hex is roughly 12 miles in length roughly faster than us yeah by themselves okay okay
we'd need a lot of them and also to convince all of them that we collect however many are left after
we just you know assaulted and killed a bunch of them to not only be tied to a platform which we can
all safely and comfortably stand or sit upon and also move us two hexes in one day when we could just
like walk with our new guide but okay but here's the thing go ahead rahua is king of the sorcerers
and as we all know in absolute monarchies bad choices are made this is a bad choice and so we
should make it to prove that their system of government no longer works so this is a side
objective now how would this practice this is only an object for jan hauser by no no no no excuse me
sir excuse me i have the magic conch
oh shut up here's the thing he has the 99 pence blender i do have the 99 pence blender
speak i was walking my dog the other day
my dog whose name is roshi he's 18 pounds he's very small much like the smallest herbs and as i was
walking my dog there was a great big i think an eagle or a vulture or a condor
flying overhead and i looked at this dog and it was circled it was circling around my dog this bird
i was a little worried so i picked up my little roshi buddy and i got away from the bird why because
i was afraid of the bird picking up roshi and bringing it to its nest to feed upon my special little son
now let's take that principle and add it to this pathfinder party
sorcerers by themselves can't do much but together can do great feats
saucer together strong i believe in the indomitable human and or bird spirit
they're neither problem is you are less optimistic so i'll offer you account compromise
don't get the birds to fly us there for some unknowable reason
but like we can use them to scout since they can move
thurston did posit the suggestion to us we could use them like cell phones and i thought that yeah
we could do that yeah we could also use them to say hey we're looking for a dragon we want five
sorcerers to just comb over that tile and then by the time that we make it to the next tile they can
tell us yeah boss the dragon's over here and then they call us a slur you got it we just love
the sheer number of jokes about spirit airlines that are being made in the chat bless all of you
i believe in the indomitable spirit airlines why don't you
i've taken spirit airlines i went i took them to texas and from texas and you know what i will
consider that an absolute value because i have not heard of their planes crashing yet
yeah yeah when one goes down they're off the list
everyone started googling news reports of spirit airline planes crashing we need to be really
careful with the jokes we make because we might have to delist this episode oh yeah so like tomorrow
there's a news article and it's like oh there it goes yeah yeah i want you to know i'm spending a
hero point right now to send you my fictive headmates out there on the internet to fact check this man right
now anyhow can we get back to business
you're right i would like to i would also like to
all right good discussion gang
so about these birds
the birds of culture
while we continue arguing in and out of character
roo is just going to pick bugs off his armor and just study them maybe no we're we're walking as
we're arguing yeah we should we should probably take a rest in the cabin and then uh start moving back
toward the schwamp yeah can we also let us rest yeah i assume you are going to take a rest and then um
um make after after resting at the sort of border of the forest you are going to make uh roughly the
day's journey back towards the acid lake yep let me let me trash all my bombs since they only i
still have one acid flask but i didn't know you know we trash all my crap you should respect your
spells get your spells so it's for free i am particularly taking summon animal at heightened third level for reference
yes what is that picture for who
what oh that's pulky that's hulkies because he didn't select his character on the profile on the bottom left
bottom left right click to use her config and selecting otherwise you have the genie from not
aladdin but the one that aladdin ripped off of i can't remember its name it didn't rip it off it's
thief in the cobbler it's zigzag no disney did rip off that movie i don't believe that yes that's the
whole that's a drama about that thing that was the original no no no it's uh aladdin
i i actually never heard about that you're saying aladdin ripped off thief in the cobbler yeah
oh i didn't know that i believe that suddenly on it disney sabotaged that movie oh my god i'm sorry
i wasn't believing you on the basis that somebody else ripped off disney no i now that it's disney
ripping out of them that's fine i'm fine with that yeah that's all it's me yeah hey everyone uh my
partner is saying we need to go get some ice cream so i'm just gonna go to dairy queen if you can keep
this going this bit for like 30 minutes i'll come back i'm gonna go get some milk can you watch my
kid just put him up in the pen with the webcam on it was really gradual how narrative declaration
just became a political podcast i was really surprised
with hot takes and hotter characters let's reign it in let's reign it in please
all right all right so you return to the acid lake along with your new uh ally tashty and and
good old pick turn squilch foot um tanhauser you haven't seen this but as you you approach you you
can see that there is indeed a large structure which appears to be um the remnants of some kind
of church or small cathedral uh that has been consumed by a lake that sizzles um with a sick
liquid as you approach you can also see the remnant the tattered remnants of what appears to be a beach
party um with umbrellas and towels that have been laid out at the uh the beachfront property of the acid
lake yeah this place sucks yeah you were in the cabin while we dealt with this so
well i i'm sure glad you decided to spend so much time in my cabin uh mr tanhauser i just i just really
think that speaks the craftsmanship that i put into you know the squilchfoot name is one that
it's always been about craftsmanship you know ever since my brother bill and miss he he was a oh he
was a carpenter all right he took he took that time got those gathering professions and then
then went in all the way and became a carpenter you know he started up a sawmill in our town oh
first sawmill we ever had also the last i i feel like we owe thurston the picture and bit at this
point i'm gonna let him go i just want to ask can i get into me thurston i will enable it too hard
i know you will you guys fought so hard to let thurston do this to us and now it's like oh we're
reaping what we're sowing after baldrick we spent so much time trying to get picked turn to lighten up
you can only do it in spurts that's our tolerance level urndale urndale urndale i'm not reaping what
i'm sewing you're reaping what i'm yeah because speaker is a connoisseur of art and i'm going to wear the
ring and tiptoe and take a scoop into the lake okay so okay so you're putting on the unidentified
ring and going into the lake i'm not going in dipping my hand with the ring on it okay okay there
is a sizzling and um you take no damage is my glove okay your glove appears to be okay oh man we don't
we don't get to have a baldrick uh baldrick's helmet melt off a good thing you're not playing
a cape of fire resistance where only the cape is fire resistant your body burn okay so i need i need
to ask can i hold it in there for a longer period to see if my hand starts to burn yeah sure how long
i'll give it like five minutes okay yeah yeah yeah um give me a fortitude save oh thank god so the
good thing we didn't just fucking walk in jesus
why are you bitching your chat thurston like because he can no they don't roll 29 ever okay with the 20
with the 29 uh holding your hand there for five minutes means you do not cramp your hand
okay good all right this thing seems to work only on one person who's the best swimmer
oh let me check my stats raises hand let it is it's based on athletics right yeah mine's a plus two
yeah wait wait wait your athletics is plus two my acrobatics is the one that's plus 15.
my athletics is plus two my athletics is eight i have underwater marauder what that's a feat
that i took at the very first saw we made which means i can fight underwater i'm not flat-footed
while in water i don't take unusual penalties for using a budgeting or slashing melee weapon in water
and i can transform into a shark also also you have natural swim speed of 20 feet because of the
essence of the drowned that is in your armor i was gonna mention that too thanks for taking that
away from me that was my bad baldrick takes the ring and shoves it up orange nose oh okay or now has a
nose ring yeah no i just i give him the ring all right you seem to be the best equipment for this
okay i'm gonna call out to our our pardon me sorry our companion
hey quick question oh yeah
both of you actually he kind of beckons both of them over okay
pick turn and tash t approach big turn tash t
can your little disc pick turn support your weight above the water or the acid i guess
oh you mean the the disc well can't really have a creature riding on it doesn't work that way it
kind of doesn't like that get the disc gets a bit orery if i try that it can hold objects though
hmm
i got an idea tash t how good are you against acid
uh not particularly good why figured i'd ask all right oran guess you're on your own
hey uh big turn uh yeah yeah yeah mr baldrick what can i help you with it's so glad to be
called upon to help i you know i love helping so your disc can hold items right oh sure can
i take out of my pack the four lesser uh elixir of life's that i just made as well as a single
quicksilver mutagen and i hold them out to him can you have this hover over him while he's under the
water in case he has to go up and get something oh i suppose i suppose i could do that yeah i could
oh well problem is is that it's it normally just follows me but you know it's such a cool plan that
i think reality will alter to allow the disc to temporarily follow oran so yeah okay
you could just say you can do that i can do that yeah i love it just like us i'm in ascension
before oran goes in sorry uh we should probably identify the crown to see if it gives us any extra
bits that might help him here thurston loves you right now you're now his favorite oh no for no
particular reason just just up volley to level seven oh no thank you thank you thank you
you want to give volley a hero you know just in fact let's take that rotten condition off you
because i thought it was like wow that was attached to a giant owl maybe it'll give me a
somebody in here some kind of fly speed or something or at the very least if or in a cool crown
volley makes the jeb pose and looks at the sky god smiles upon us
what the fuck chat no don't identify it empowers him this is not this type of campaign
okay um all right i would like to to take a moment to identify your uh your new items that you have
acquired tanhauser should do it because he is a wizard wizard wizard all right show me the item in
which i am identifying is it the crown yeah i am the fall guy's crown all right i'm going to object
whisper oh okay um all right all right all right so yeah you cast object whispers on it yeah i'm
what they did a little bit close to your mic when you were saying that it felt like oh i'm sorry yeah
i'm actually sat in like a weird way let me change it yeah just you like contort yourself constantly
yeah it's because my desk is uh not optimized and uh my life is uh i will optimize your desk yeah
optimize okay so you you you cast object whispers on this uh psychometric item that does radiate and
gives you back this this sort of discordant voice in your head essence of the visiting saucer king
the essence of of a self-declared fey royal who found its way from the crucible of creation on to tyne
he saw his court as nothing more than fleeting fun before he returned to the realm that spawns
all hoot hoot see we can be deep too hoot hoot
i don't think any of that's important i'll just uh and no i i actually like that that's cute um all right
and i will do uh my evil uh magic identifying stuff to find out the true effects also rahua repeats it
because i had a really select okay uh yeah give me an arcana check please i like the idea of when i
do object whispers it all comes out of rahua like like my matrilica stall from the orb yeah the orb
this is r2d2 uh oh i saw that one uh 21 my friend okay um taking the time and then seeing as this is
somewhat associated you do identify it so this like the essences um that you've seen in the past works
in two ways one it can be affixed to an armor like a talisman which just gives you a base bonus and then
there it can be etched onto an armor with you know like more time and a crafting kit and all that
while it is affixed on an armor you treat that armor as having a plus one armor potency room
so increases your ac by one the other thing is if it's etched onto an armor you can select
one cantrip that you can cast that requires two actions to cast and once per day you can cast the
selected cantrip for one action you have to select the cantrip when you etch it on that is incredibly
useful i would very much like this it wouldn't work with your spell strike fyi uh that's fine
being able to refresh my spell strike with a casting spell is of incredible utility
that's for the ring right no that's for the the essence so that could go onto anyone's armor
so anyone who you want to be sort of front liney yeah yeah tanhouser or who a bit yeah definitely
absolutely do we uh we don't have time to etch it on right now you wouldn't have time to etch it on
right now yeah yeah okay so we can figure out who gets it later yeah what does my ring say mr tanhouser
he holds up his ring which i wish i could dare to declare that looks like a ring pop
i already described it you can't really reality okay the interesting thing about this order is that
the ring looks nothing like a ring pop oh man i know uh besides that our object was preserved sure
and then why did i find out there is no object whispering this is not a psychometric item
unfortunately this item lacks the history of the others but perhaps not its potence let's discover
uh 20 on the dice all right uh yeah so
you can tell uh you do get the bonus so you're good uh you can tell that this is a ring of energy
resistance acid so ring grants you resistance five against one type of energy in this case acid
um in this particular instance there is an added benefit which is that it is attuned to this
particular lake and so it actually negates all acid damage from this lake so well it's like
you know against like someone who does like a hurl acid or acid bombs you'd get the acid resistance
normally if you wore the ring um in this particular lake it would like negate the
several the whatever's that would come at you for being fully submerged in acid intriguing and i will i
will pass that on to the rest of the group and yes if if tenhouse were to take the essence he would
be the king of the saucers that is the other ability of it as we are prepping uh orin i also want to
kind of yoink out the anti-plague and the antidote because uh it's basically literally just giving him
a bunch of vaccines at the moment because i am kind of worried about orin swimming in the acid like
what if he opens his mouth that'd be pretty gross i'd say probably yeah yeah all right here all right
thanks puts in his little pouch no no you need to drink the anti-plague oh oh
and then i will put the antidote on the funny disc as well with the rest of the stuff in case he needs
it the aura the orin care package that picturn is setting up oh wait no the antidote he can just
take now yeah because it's uh it's not like counteracts it's like we're repels it gives about
yeah just just endure yourself against any nastiness down there because that would be a good idea
yeah all right so yeah you prep all of this along the shore uh so orin are you just gonna dive on in
yeah i'm the only one so she's gonna fly over a little bit go and then i'm going to do animal form
form of shark but the bad up bap bap bap you want to you want to fly to the position you need to so you
can then turn into a shark and fall yeah that's that's kind of what i'm doing hold up i have a
there's a whole sequence he added now i gotta do is click this cast button and then maybe it'll do it
let's see past oh no it's gonna be weird about it that's fine whoop i am now a shark whoa
not in the thing like here yeah it's awesome dude all right i'm now a shark i begin to
swim around and explore with my disk with all the potions following him like a tray of drinks
yeah with uh 35 swim speed um yeah okay um i'm trusting the acid is not thicker than water
i hate doing this i really hate doing this okay okay okay because i did establish this before
um so you you you turn into a shark and then you you you begin moving around down inside this uh
submerged uh church most of the walls here have now like been obviously like bitten and decayed by the
acid there are tables here same thing um as this is going on however uh oran you you see the object
which you you'd notice before is that there was a chest in here yeah and you can see that it has a
latch on it to open it yeah so with my jaws okay okay give me an attack roll please to bite it open
could you not simply grab it with your jaws and bring it back he could but he wants to open it
he wants to eat no make him eat the box on a crit fail please i i want to be electrified and then
i die immediately sorry i'm trying to no i just want i just want it to be like the tom and jerry you
know he ate a cheese oh that'd be good yeah all right i said the whole thing to make to have like
cool spell effects and other stuff for some reason not working oh no it is working i'm stupid give me a
second it is yeah you're a frog now yeah i had uh i was see while you were doing that i was going
to try to show off something cool but i have no idea what folder the bestiary tokens end up oh i
think i found it so you could just drag the thing on if it's a this area or anything oh you're trying
to oh yeah no no no i wanted to get that i wanted to see where the token file was saved so i could
show oh yeah but i could just don't change don't chase the token it's such a pain in the ass i know i
i'd see if i knew the direct like the directory i could because you know cool but i suppose i could just
do this you know look you're a shark oh my gosh oh my god you're a shark now it's over the token
because it's worth that right fine fine we were trying to be cool i go to the bot i go to the
chest and i um instead of opening it it doesn't look movable uh yes yeah yeah it absolutely does how big
is the chest like is it like my keyboard size or is it like my desk size um it's about like a half
keyboard size maybe like eight inches wide that's a jewelry box okay uh i want to pick it up with my
teeth and then uh bring it back as soon as you do that as soon as you grab it uh how much damage do i
did oh several spectral figures appear within the water and the air well not even the water around them
sizzles noticeably and like i assume at this point you've got this like like i i assume that this
is all done as cartoon animation um i want you to remember to hear the banjo kazooie you kind of like
danger be like
okay okay okay sorry sorry this is way better this is a way better token for you there you go yeah
um and so you're you're sort of you're you're seeing this and like these these ghosts have
appeared um all right i'll get rid of the cool token um and you're seeing these these spectrals
these acid rates that you've fought before and each of them is holding a spear except they hold it with
both hands on the shaft in front of them there's the spear end sort of corroded and wasted away
just opposite their face and they all take a step forward each one of them in unison though it's
there's no good command for that so they all just take a step forward and then they bang
these incorporeal spears onto the ground and as they do so they all proceed to disappear
and as that happens outside all of you see the faint edges of this but as that occurs the sizzling sound
stops
and you feel that the lake itself is no longer acidic
orange will swim back and everyone will see a shark fin come up and eventually gets to the beach
that he uh just uh takes away the shark form with it still in your mouth yeah yeah i'm still holding the
box and i drop the box down on the beach you know he ate a cheese
oh
nice
well i'm never one to pass up a good treasure chest
all right well let's open this up all right starts looking away to open it
yeah it's a pipe bomb
tpk rotten three yeah uh no um
yeah the the the latch and everything on it is is corroded the box appears to have withstood the acid
somehow but it's still been been dissolved in for in several places um as you approach it you look
oran and you find a a means of opening it inside is a like some kind of cloth lining uh very basic
it looks almost intentionally um like intentionally conservative in that like you would expect something
really nice but instead it's just like here's a bit of cloth and on top of it
is a necklace that is made out of rope and several miniature tables
looks like this
oh huh huh
can oran looks at it and can he is he would he be confident enough to identify it with a nature check
or with this uh you could you could absolutely give it a try yeah we also have our uh our second
opinion with dan hauser try to identify as well
i saw that one too for a total of 33. okay you identify this um as you are sort of looking it over
and sort of you know moving your hands and trying to assess the energies um it does have like
uh you can't tell what type of magic it is overall like you can't tell if it's arcane or divine or primal
or whatnot but you're able to suss out what this object is this is a relic uh and what a relic is is an
item that levels up with the person who uses it and gains power based on their respective level
in this case um this is a seed relic so that means it's a relic that like has an innate ability
and then when someone uses it depending on their level it unlocks various abilities
so this one is um it grants you a plus one item bonus on perception checks to sense motive
and a plus two bonus on all perception checks related to creatures currently afflicted by the rot
now when you sort of analyze it you analyze it for like someone of let's say uh ha ha ha your level
like six level what what sort of powers this thing would would have and be able to unlock and as you
you analyze that uh you notice a few things first of all uh this object has two abilities of note first of
all um the wearer of it has their burdens eased um as long as you have that relic on you and you
are standing on the ground you can carry one more bulk than normal before becoming encumbered and you
increase your maximum bulk by two based on your respective levels it's actually going to be you
care you can carry two more bulk and increase your maximum bulk by um by four so it allows you to carry
more just by wearing this thing the other ability that this relic provides is it is a conduit of life
energies you gain an item bonus equal to half the uh relics level which in this case would be three
because it's your level um to hit points you recover from positive healing spells so anytime you would
get healed if you wear this you get three extra hit points healed hmm this one sounds like a good one
for either rahua or oran yeah all right i would line up for dkp also tell um though you don't have
the means of quite analyzing it further this is a psychometrically aligned item like there is some
sort of history to this you think i'm gonna cast object whispers on it oh my god yeah i touch it with my
evil touch and i cast object whispers my evil touch and the rahua orb speaks because that's the new
canon um a pendant of several miniature wooden chairs linked together in the way of the pawn
we are sorry we all belong to the earth and the earth conceals all sins life is cyclical death comes
for us all well thanks for that reminder necklace well there's not exactly a lot of psychosymmetric
objects in this world that are uplifting in description man one of these days i'd love to identify one of
these objects or for you to identify it rather and for it to say you know what you guys you're doing a
great job you know keep at it well i don't think they care keep thinking those positive thoughts valley
and perhaps in a hundred years time your hat will give such a description
i'll keep that in mind tanny thank you that's the ticket
you know being stewards of the continuation of existence isn't exactly
what one would call a what one would call a often thanked job true
anyhow i just know i'm very embarrassed because i prepared to cast ghostly weapon twice today
or and why come up come up and give the necklace to her here you can decide who uses it or you i don't
think i need this i'm thinking upon this one much like i'm thinking of taking this crown as well
i have an idea let's forget about it for two to three weeks and then recess
yes okay that's not a bad idea but first you should wear it
but for now you hold on to it oh okay i'm sorry but you will have to wear the cool magic necklace
made of tables made of tables yeah oh my god i just realized it's made of wood you're made of wood
it's a symbol of the pawn you you knew that right
uh can i make an occult on the pawn uh religion
i will make a religion check as well sure
i'm just going to repocket all the crap i put on the disc
that's a 29. yeah um the pawn is one of the deities of the first house pantheon
um which you can read about in our amazing pdf the pantheon's rod grind
i tossed it out there because i'm gonna actually just be repeating a bunch of information from that
um the pawn is one of the deities of the first house a representation of the common folk believed
to be an amalgamation of various commoners who ascended alongside the pantheon
um as a deity they are sort of a chaotic neutral deity but they have like followers of all almost all
neutral alignments um they are a healing they're very like nature focused their favored weapon is a
spear uh their domains are air earth family fire and water so they represent the elements in a bit
of a different way than say the old powers do as being like direct elemental representations
um you know with a 29 which is reasonable um the edicts of followers of the pawns are
uh summarized as do your job enjoy periods of rest to their fullest and tend to the lands you live
on and travel through their anathemas are don't overwork yourself for the sole benefit of others
refuse to organize your community and despoil or pollute a land without repairing the damage
yeah i mean that that's pretty much sounds like where i'm coming from all right good enough for me
hey hey did you know all of these things really sort of align with you tanhauser but i'm going to
take this from you anyway that's fine i have enough revolutionary fervor for six tanhouses let alone me
will we ever meet them one day no i'm the only tanhauser that you know what if you cast mirror image
you better not meet anymore i can barely take one but what are the
but well no no no technically you are the only one a conversation for another time wonderful thing
about tanhauser is that i'm the only one so you believe
we go back to the cabin and if you pull a book in a certain way is rahua's mad science laboratory with
a bunch yeah you have to you have to go to the bookshelf and it's the it's the only book on the shelf
and it's das kapital oh my god these are all the secret endings just like if you'd collected all
the guns in the war hands campaign you would have got the pro the proper ending sorry all the
collectibles darn it yeah i think we've done all we need to here i kind of figured this would be a lot
more of an endeavor but that's magic hey i mean you you you you fought a king to get this ring to
open this box i think that was a pretty big endeavor you clearly haven't met us and the
bullshit we've gone through yeah it's just a saturday for us oh yeah they're absolutely right about that
you know we we had to come here and fight some wraiths and oh boy that was a that was a whole out and
wasn't it i mean them wraiths they just they were not pleasant not listen at all well i'm just glad that i
could help i say with my tanning screen and my pina colada now that now so so now that i cured the
lake and such do i get a focus point back for doing a juridic thing yes it's his first juridic thing
have him drink the lake now drink the lake how is the water is it stagnant i drink the lake it is it is
like the most tepid water it's it's it's you know it's it's water yeah hulky yeah so because this is a
relic uh should i be wearing it or is it something again of calling on the abilities of the actual
relic itself oh yeah here i will i will throw the item because i put it into the people's load uh
one sec give it to me i i will i will give it to you so you took the okay so i need to clarify let's
see where everything's going um you're taking the uh the pendant right correct okay and then
i believe i also have temporary stewardship of the essence of the kit of majesty okay so yeah yeah
well yes yes i want to to verify that you're taking the essence as well are we okay with this
i'm okay with it because yeah yeah cool because it does let you it does let you heal and then cast
one of your cantrips so yeah pretty nice always a nice nice thing yes i have to reselect my spells
anyway so i'm okay with the rest cool okay so and then the only other item is who's going to long
term keep the ring of energy resistance acido ass uh who's taking acid damage the most nobody because
it's a it's a specialized form of damage so really it would just be like a tiny bonus for one person
it's going to be a tiny bonus for one person until it really matters and then whoever wants to be
the most like jabbing to me when it does come up who hasn't got a magic item yet i think baldrick
should have it since he's the one that's going to be in contact with acid the most yeah but i don't
tend to fumble my own grenades onto myself yeah that's true yeah i'd rather actually actually there
is a bit of a like hey who's going to be in the line of baldrick's fire for when he critically
fumbles is is is that alder could be the largest form of acid damage that we take throughout the
entire campaign yeah give it to give it to hulky so since he's tanko it would help if it would help if
he didn't you're loading up hulky's character like he is a big boy i'll be honest i'll be honest
i actually don't need it yeah the people who are most likely to get in contact with your acid
is going to be the people who do the dps which is me and volley i have uh endure elements so i
don't need it as much volley might as well take it because she's on her list all right all right i
take the ring and i shove it up volley's nose wait no i've got yeah i hook it on my nose i got a
nose ring now that's horrible you don't know where that was in a bird i'm sure we washed it we washed
it right it got purified in the acid it's a little little asterisk here just just for people listening
who are like wait a second endure elements does not protect you from acid oh i'm sorry resist energy
okay there we go sorry i was like it makes you comfortable in hot environments i'm sorry i
bucked up the two i have both of them and i okay okay okay it's cool all right do you want to be an
element if you think you want a dope ass ring yeah yeah give me that dope ass ring that dope if nothing
else it's more accessories well he's very maximalist i gotta have them all right there you go access
arrived yourself you have it i will uh invest it i have to click that invest button uh so that'll
work for you volley um for your items um you these will not auto calculate so you'll just need to
keep them in mind but they're pretty like particular bonuses and when you use them and whatnot so
just because like i don't know help me foundry people creating custom magic items that change
your bulk limit i'm sure there's a way to do it i just don't do json files so you know we'll figure
it out one day uh when we do that sweet rot grind specific foundry pack coming to a store near you
one day last time i asked someone to help me with the foundry thing they told me to go learn how to code
i'm like okay here's my here's here i am sitting with my 15 moderate alchemist fires preparing for
another fight oh well hey perfect uh all right suppose that's all we have here i guess we better get
going then time to burn so where are we going exactly yeah as i pull out as as baldrick pulls out his
magic map oh the timing on that was great i hope this map has been working out for you all by the
way i mean it's good when we get to see it yeah hotel did good job with hexes yeah yeah kind of
indicates we will be heading southwest okay that's the rough location of what we're looking for him over
there we'll start tracking for it and if we find what we need to and deal with that in due time good if
not go north yeah so you know that north here um this way is like certainly a lake but you don't
know these other areas you know what i mean i don't know i i'm just kind of pointing out the
terrain around you like this is a bit of a like larger morassi lake that's going to be really
difficult to travel through uh what i'm trying to do on this as well is just to put some icons of
creatures that you've encountered and whatnot so that you can have a reminder of like oh yeah the
sorcerers were here and hey this is the perfect date thing um so okay so you are going to make
your way to the southwest how long does this take so it's about a two to three day journey so in this
case it's going to be about two days now the problem is is that you are preparing to go and i'm gonna
let's i'm just not gonna re-prepare all my fucking grenades i'm just gonna no no keep prepare what you
want and then this is good so so at this point you're gonna have a little little um chat uh fire
fire light chat again uh with tashi yourselves and at this point tashi is going to provide some
information to you as you're sort of going and i i'm not speed running this but i want you to sort
of like know like okay over the course of the next day you're obviously going to explain to tashi
okay we're going in this direction and we've heard sightings of you know gorgamonger um are you
providing tashi with details on some of the uh the documents you found um
what do you guys think because i think it might honestly be a good idea just because we're not
exactly approving of any of this shit either so it might be useful maybe she might know some information
about i don't know whoever might have been roaming around here or do we want to try and keep
that under our hats in case it incites some kind of response um i don't see any reason why we would
keep the experiments from the twang folk if if anybody might have encountered anything that these
notes are talking about just ambiently it would probably be one of them well well hoki baker
no i i support uh transparency unless we were given a reason to not be transparent yeah just
i wanted to get it out there in case you guys had any like other notation on it have we insight
checked them yet i mean we could perception to sense motive and you just got a dope new necklace
that helps with that um yeah that somebody did do that yeah with the table in the billiard room sure
kernel custard 13 dead end drive is another great game if you're playing that you know
i saw that yesterday while shopping okay oh my god i know i remembered that game existed it was very
like surreal moment i'm just giving time to hulky to roll the table roll plus one oh yeah i'm adding it
to it because i get i can just add this modifier yeah yeah exactly yeah and this is not rot tash t is not
rotten so you get nothing i mean plus no bonuses you'll get brush one because that's all that's it
23. okay uh yeah you get the impression that tash t is generally just wanting to help out and probably
is fairly knowledgeable about this region uh they're still really guarded around you um so tash t is very
much not sure exactly how much they can share with you but they definitely seem like they provide
you with basic information or at least pertinent information to not like get you murdered
well i do believe they're being honest with us
i have no reason to mistrust
then yeah no reason not to spill the beans it affects the twang folk much more than it does us at
the end of the day well this is their house hoist his pack around and begin pulling out all the
documents that we may have come in contact with and stuffing them in my pack because it'd be really
good for whenever we found them and we're able to gotcha with them also paper doesn't pay fucking anything
this here's a list of documents i'm keeping it safe from the fucking rain absolutely no that sounds
good to me um this is chief of documents here is something we found in a wrecked perfectite siege
tower down the way you might have seen it up before big stupid cube i've heard of it yeah yes yes
well suffice it to say some individuals of unknown purport have apparently been
experimenting with the rot in ways that are pretty thoroughly unsavory as we determined in the bowels
of that wrecked thing we believe not only is orgamonger being experimented upon that they plan to do
something else with this experimentation but we're not exactly clear mentions a site b to the southwest of
the tower which coincidentally is where we are
hmm i
and tashti pauses and sort of thinks about this and based on your your interactions with them they're
they're pretty they're they've got a good handle there's one location i could think of it being
there's a there's a temple a larger temple uh to the faith you your people in the great city follow
the the first house right it's a large edifice it could account for
it could account for for what this site b would be is it around this area or is it another location
oh no it's it's quite and like they point to where like the the your dragon is here
it's very much in this location i could direct you there but i i must say i cannot go with you into
that place all we ask is that you wait outside we're not gonna exactly go spending days inside
there or anything i'll go with you though well kind of hoped you would considering we have you on
board as our guide baldrick thank you so much for that oh right right yes uh it's a large
structure it used to be one of it was as i said in one of the many temples that's been built
there was a slew of them for some reason city dwellers came and erected various temples to
their gods all of them have since been subsumed but this one in particular would be large enough and also
there's some strange sounds that i heard while i was traveling through the area i decided not to
investigate well that likely measures up to what we've encountered so far so he kind of tilts his
head at oran get ready for the worst kid
you see oran kind of like facing away from the fire and he's he's not been paying attention he's been
trying to like repress it and you just did see him just kind of rocking back and forward drawing
little doodles in the sand he's just kind of just humming
what i don't worry about it uh okay and as as you as he as you're you're doodling him in the sand
tashti sort of like comes over to you and takes out like one of their large fingers again you sort of
see like they have almost a gemstone um nail sort of a brilliant um emerald-ish color and they they go
above where you're drawing all of your symbols and they very quickly and delicately do a a
configuration which you've seen before but they they draw it above all of your symbols
and they sort of look at you oran uh with their large obsidian eyes and tashti
looks down at the symbol they wrote and then back to you and and gives a nod
the word ing taus preserves all whether they are vessels or not if your friend is
no longer with us in the form they were you should know that they're nothing more than a vessel now
if you got religion you can give me a check like uh oran won't do a check sorry if i'm not taking
the problem but he'll he'll just he'll just nod and uh you'll still keep doodling and he's basically
doodling like like in a stick you've ever seen like the license out of time like you know that doodle
on the tree at the first start it's kind of that kind of scratch notey but it's literally just like
a little oran and then like a gorgmonger being friends
and uh he'll he'll frown at the symbol that got drawn on top of it but he'll nod
but just keep uh keep humming to himself uh rahua as you're you're listening to this right yes
would you give me a religion check i would be happy to yeah
21. okay so the couple things you identify with that you you you know that ing taus is the sort of
um less colloquial name for mama decay one of the the four elemental powers it's a it's a name that's only
utilized sparingly and with much reverence by the followers of mama decay but as as tashti is
explaining this you know that one of the edicts of mama decay is that bodies are shells and nothing
more like once once someone's soul has left their body or they've been transformed or overtaken such
as by the rot their teachings are very much that that isn't the person you knew anymore
and so this is very much in teaching with what mama decay teaches her children and her family
well or and it is with knowing that what she says is quite commonplace among teachers
those studying under king taus or you may know her of it better as mama decay
if we are to encounter what remains of your dear friend gorgomonger it it is not him as you once knew
and whether that be he is what was once gorgomonger was consumed by the rot
you know that in their eyes you should feel no compunction about
taking care of the vessel that now stands where he once did
the person you know me is gone but the memory lingers and all that we may face is
the vestige a hollow remnant of that who once was think of it as a cup filled with something
far worse than the friend you once knew anything returning it back to the earth
you're dust you're dust you want to watch
i know all of it mr hua i just don't have to like it
you see orin will kind of get up and be like i'm going to bed
and then obviously the cab the cabins cabins radian enjoy or hua or to the orin
oh yeah bye really well fuck you yeah you see orin will close the door he just gets dragged in
behind himself see you kid and picturing kind of like walks up and then sits next to you volly
oh hey hey
sounds like it's gonna be a sad time for for orin yeah are you are you okay me of course i am
oh that's i i just
i'd rather him be all right this is a dear friend he'll be all right he'll be all right orin's real
strong yeah just i feel i feel it you know back in uh back in my home the family and you know brother
bill and miss and all that you can always feel on the air that something was gonna change and i feel
like that's coming i don't know why i just i felt like i just needed to come by you and make sure
you're okay volley huh that's a shot victor what what the fuck are you talking holy damn that's what chat
has been saying i'm like yes i've been checking my goddamn potions
does that have they actually been saying that oh they have been
um i'm gonna ruffle picturn's hair well thank you for that bud i uh
i hope that we can get this
this rot tended to i'll be honest seeing the sort of things that it did to what was left of gorgomonger
you can't help but
kind of
put yourself
there if this gets any worse
you know i just i just want you to know ever since i came and and joined up with your crew and you
helped me out in that that bog i've just i felt something volley i just i know you're important and
i just i just hope nothing nothing bad happens to you and where we're going all right well i'm gonna
gonna go look in on orin on the the camp okay bye now and picture and gets up and heads back towards
the uh towards the cabin uh volley looks kind of dumbfounded just like in fact i'm gonna give
picture just a long look i don't have any supernatural senses i have nothing but my own uh swashbuckling
instinct i'm just gonna give a long look at picture and kind of cock my head and just kind of see
see if i can get any any vibes from him
yeah yeah give me a give me a percepticept percepticept
all right doing my best my very bestest here
uh oh
oh
oh
no
gosh pictorin is flirting with you so hard volley and this is like uh he he just he loves you so much
and is just an utter adoration of you oh little guys and their puppy dog crushes
that's right that's right man look at me breaking more hearts here blue skin never go back
i'm going to chisel your bones out thurston don't ever say that again wait wait wait jimmy put the
he's 25 he's a halfling yeah ain't no way he's 25 yeah i thought he was still a young half he's
older than me i knew he wasn't a kid but he's older than tenhouser embarrassing
he's wait no he's older than vali too yeah well he's 27 well he's 27. play in the bagpipes keeps
you young i guess so yeah gives you good lungs that that sure that correlates to the rest of your
body more more air you get the tighter your skin keep talking oh boy he has to go get ice cream
volley yes that was kind of awkward to witness but do you do you need to have
how do they say this the talk oh for crap's sake pardon me baldrick leans back out of the line of
fire you they say this in in outside culture they call it the talk i believe is what the colloquial
term is the talk rua i i think i understand what you may be insinuating but i kind of just want to
hear you say it well yes i mean based upon my knowledge of outset culture that this is a common
thing that happens when that kind of oh my god when i said hold on you you told us to keep talking i know
i know i know and i regret that decision already hi i'm back now traditionally when someone comes
to you and expresses some sort of level of concern one often does not just simply walk off after
feeling this change in the air clearly there's something else at play here now my knowledge of
this subject matter is of course liminal at best but from what i understand based upon what he said to
you i do know one thing he is very concerned about you having the wrong and this is something that
they are saying in outset one confesses to another how concerned they are you i can see it in your eyes
literally in this instance how concerned you are that you might end up like well i can't say good
friend because we don't truly know him but gorgerman oh oh you know this conversation got really
serious about very depressing things i i thought you were going to ask me if i had fucked before
i thought this was going to be another i'm sure i'm sure i mean look thank you thank you finally
anyway valli you're casually brushing off i mean look at you yeah well obviously that just feeds into
valli so you know oh thank you my ego uh anyway but i right i can tell that you're quite concerned
over the potential outcomes of this infestation especially in the light of information that
there may not be a definite according to our our friend cure for this affliction
but i can promise you and assure you of two things whatever we find out there
i will do everything i can within my own power to make sure that you do not suffer the same fate as
you have and the other piece of advice i have learned both in my time with you my time before and
everybody else
the word and notion of impossible
is only said by those who lack perspective
we will find an end to this this is my purpose my mission and though we have not
stuck to that path laid forth we will find the end to all of this in time and i will not see your cup
run over with rot you nor order nor any of us
in this i swear i appreciate your optimism now please and i know that i'm in good hands
good and volley if i may give you one more parting advice
you really should pick up on people's social cues more often i mean come on that kid that
kid thing totally flirting he's totally in
walking towards the cabin one more thing yes his net his head will snap around 180 degrees yeah
oh god he's also working now he is his body just reorients as he turns around oh um could you do me a
favor yes um i i know that you are somebody who um you're more familiar with navigating the landscape and
stuff um if something happens to me which it might given that we're about to go diving more into the belly
of the beast i need you to get in contact with somebody for me just to let him know what happened
of course i endeavor to prevent any sort of aberrant outcome of this time stream from happening but
by all means i would encourage you to leave whatever you need with me
right well if something happens to me
there's a mountain range not
set um and if you manage to track down the people there
ask for captain volley and tell her what happened to me
what what do you mean i thought i thought you were captain volley
yes trust me
well hopefully i won't have to i'm sure we'll see them in time you and i soon enough
but alas god i hope you
please time heals all wounds
but as much as i would love to talk of the mights and maybes of horrible things that will not happen
the dark heart of the solitude yet seeds and we must go deeper still
and stop it in its chest right
we'll make sure that we get this done and for nobody's sake but orange i'm gonna go make sure that
he's uh okay maybe he needs a banky and some hot chocolate even just a tender hand
yeah things in due time yeah thank you it helps you're kind of good at this therapy thing
who says i was doing therapy it's just speaking from someone who has a bit more perspective
um nevertheless i believe it's time to turn in
yeah
probably a good idea
the next morning reached out and scoop up a bug from the ground just
inspect it before tucking it into his armor bug the next morning comes after a fruitful rest you make
your way carrying on into space where you are next set to go sorry i'm just bringing up the map okay
so you have made your way to the southwest to the area marked by mr lort
tashti they direct you eventually bringing you to the site of a vast stone edifice some
150 feet across
they wait out in a forested section where they raise their hand wave to all of you and say
i wish you luck with what's inside but that is a realm of deities that are not my own
i will not trespass there fair enough
i would ask that you hang around or at least try to hide in case something else
snoops around but i will wait for you here i'm sure one way or another we will see each other again
i'll hold you to that oh that's right you know we got a lot of stories to tell you know there was
about the bake sale the bad bake sale oh the batter bake sale i got all sorts of stories
and as you like camera drag pic turn with you you make your way towards the large stone edifice that
stands somewhat sunken into the morass here but not much
it's a vast array of stone that stretches out a stairwell that walks up into a large open space
upon which you see the crashed remains of a great bell that was held up in a singular tower the walls
of which have been broken some you would guess 30 40 feet up though stained glass remains some of it cracked
some of it staying there um providing a bit of bit of color into the area a fog moves around it sort of waves in and out
and then there's also the rain that is intensified
and that is all you hear is the rain the constant as it impacts the ground of the stones near you as
you approach this vast structure this remains gonna ruin my coat is the roof intact or is it no it's like
collapsed in on itself um so it looks like this building was actually way bigger and then the roof
itself just collapsed off of it
uh getting tired of wandering around at stonework
i prefer stonework to the swamp
they still sink in stone
yeah just wish it were a bit more of like a tasteful wood card building or something freaking sick and tired of
stonework listen when you live an outset you get tired of it is it because you can't blow it up
as effective luck oh no i know exactly how to blow it up that's not the important part it's just
it's tiresome it's like you look at you seen one brick you seen one stone path you seen them all
they're all they're all the damn scene gentlemen friends bali
we move on the third thing all right you're not a friend fuck you i just start walking
you know we're all about to be really depressed for like three days
i was trying to lighten the moon and say ah go forward into danger with your smoke
why do you think we're going to be depressed maybe the dragon's in there and it's just all good
as tannhauser's going up and you begin to march up the stairs you see that oren will kind of grab
the side of tannhauser's coat and you'll see that he's shaking
a whole bunch but he just starts to slowly but surely go up with you
come my friend onwards ever onwards
the rain seems to intensify with each step you take into this place
wow this is a big area they must have been able to pack a lot of people in here
yeah i should hope so if this was some sort of church
i wonder what it was last used whether or not you know it before the great powers had their great
mighty pissy hissy fit a lot of people used to be alive
the hell i think this is after that i think this is one of them them temples they made to
to the to the first house it just didn't last that long
i want to take a look and see if there's anything hiding inside of this bell
sure give me a perception i love the game paused
that's right
uh 28. there is something moving at the far end of the bell
there's something moving at the far end of the bell
i will uh activate my laughing shadow as soon as combat stance
otherwise uh call out creature within the bell if you have the intellect identify yourself
that answers that question no it answers no questions uh i will wait a second i'm grossly
incandescent i don't need a torch yeah what do i see inside of this beautiful bell so you're like
stepping over the rocks and like oh uh yeah at the far end of the bell you see a small marsupial
creature um that sort of looks up at you in in wonder and astonishment at your presence
oh isn't that the cutest thing i'll take some uh bacon out of my rations and i'll toss it in the bell
okay yeah yeah uh so you're going to walk towards this creature and provide it with the thing
i'll just i'll just toss the food okay yeah sure sure sure sure um just give me one second here
i will um yeah one second one sec just want to pull up the the piece of the art it just
hadn't been properly loaded in um so as you sort of like look out you see this this creature
um and you toss in uh some bacon to the end um where it like looks up at you with this sort of
squinty eyed appearance
oh no
chat hauser
oh no watch what's wrong tannhauser
you need to you need to back up i will do as you say the podcast folks it's an adorable little
hamster like creature kind of propped up more of its hind legs with a big tail that kind of has
the ridges on it there's a cute little little little like chip marked to beady-eyed little little
marmot yeah it's it's so adorable yes yes hulky crow thurston do i need to roll a nature check to
know what this creature is oh no no you you certainly do not rahua gets rahua gets knowledge
so so who as you lean over i if you want to here i'll unpause the game if you'd like to move yourself
um closer to tannhauser sort of leaning over your companion's shoulder as this happens uh you see
uh tannhauser toss in the strip of meat and then the transformation occurs as this creature gorgeous
and its mouth stands in four different points as it begins devouring and spines emerge from its
back as it consumes what it has been provided oh that's pretty metal
a land hazard no no we need to we need to we need to go we need to go we need to go we can't be here
we should not be here we should not be here let's let us and as you're discussing this it finishes
consuming and immediately bolts out from underneath the bell jumping through one of the holes in the
glass to the south and out back into the wilderness oh isn't nature beautiful
hate hate hate hate well you hear this sound coming from the east now as your
speech has become elevated and echoes throughout this chamber
can we close the window it sounds as if we're about to have a different and more interesting
hit or roll a nature check to see if you're trying to do like a grumbly dragon thing or not
yeah you can give me a nature check i have sound effects for you cute so don't worry
i rolled a natural 20. oh you know exactly what sound that is orin yeah yeah i don't even need to say
it you know exactly what that sound is though so my friend it's somewhat distorted from when you last
remember it uh-huh yeah it sounds like something's wrong with it a good friend companion of yours
not some drag cast off of it
orin will name gorgamonger
it's gorgamonger and orin will point up the stairs
it's down the stairs they kind of go down but there's like a thick fog there's a thick fog and i
should illustrate in this this vast chamber there's two closed wooden doors to the to the north and the south
staircase leading down to the east
should we check the doors first or go right into the fog
have we determined that the funny critter is not going to attack us before we formulate a plan it's
it's long gone yeah that thing's gone oh he's he's left good i didn't see i don't see anything so
i think you're definitely it's okay it's gone orin will uh will walk over
uh see if he can see past the fog or not
are you taking a step into the fog my friend
no i was hoping i could see him before i ended it's currently obscured it's currently very obscured
but but i would like to view upon him with my would you like to take one step down the stairs
thank you would you right now you can't see through the fog
might i um might i um might i point something out to you zorn
the door my friend yes
i have a question for you i might have a bad answer what is your druidic order type yes
what does it order explorer so that's what is what is what is the class feature that is at the top of
your class feature list that would be very appropriate to this thematic moment in our game
what does that allow you to do when you click on it thanks thurston i was hoping you would you know
to say no you're you have storm where you can see through it we continue i wanted to give you this
moment of recognizing your class abilities but fuck you fine i don't remember all the other times
you're getting five where we did it once you're setting yourself up for such a painful critical fail
the other fog gates look through the fog and what you see past it
we will find out in the new year thank you
uh it's another fog gate i knew it
zorn's trying to use camera tricks to see past the fog gate he's cheating bam
everyone we need to we need to start doing half step and travel through alternate universes
clip through the walls i am already seven parallel universes ahead of you
look if you're mad at me just direct all of that anger to zoren that's just direct every bit of
anger you have right now that cockaties to zorn i'm just saying talk i like how he's the one we
literally had a discussion about it like oh no we can't it was like yeah yeah actually no it is my
fault yeah i did yeah never mind
zorn the bear setting himself up for a very cathartic natural one
anyway thank you all so much for watching we hope you enjoyed this episode
we will be back in january 2023 but if you're watching this way in the past don't worry about
it you can always watch all of our episodes on uh on youtube over on the narrative declaration
channel and of course we have our new twitch channel which got partnered immediately by twitch
thank you twitch staff for helping us out with that over at twitch.tv forward slash narrative
declaration we can get all that and if you want all awesome assets that we make you want to catch up
on the story you want to see all the lore that we're about to put out get some of these monsters
assets all that stuff over at patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration you can see all
this stuff in the hub and our schedule as well for the show when we're coming back live and stuff
over on our discord discord.gg forward slash narrative declaration or on our website where all
of this kind of gets kind of like get points you to everything at narrative declaration dot com
and uh we'll rock goons we go to the new channel everything's going to the new channel all
tabletop rpg stuff to the new channel like all any tabletop stuff i've been doing on the zone the
bear stuff goes straight over there but none of this would happen without the amazing players who put
in all the energy and their amazing improv their comedy their skills everything the make rock grind
and everything else here happens starting off with odoroshi hi odoroshi you can find me on twitter
at odoroshi writer uh thank you all very much for a wonderful session and i will say it again i hope
everybody listening right now has a happy crimus and a very very happy new year uh and i will see you
all very soon and then second off we have the amazing hulky crow that's me you can find me at
hulky crow on twitter that's my primary social media platform you can also find me at the narrative
declaration community discord which there should be a link popping up in the chat any second for
those actually viewing uh i'm a community manager over there i have a lovely community of you many
people here who actually are participating in that server we have artists good community find a table
to play your own games at uh but i will echo the same sentiments as odo and i will wish you a very
very merry and very happy christmas happy holidays and we will see you in the new year i know i'm
certainly looking forward to it first we have the ever starwart erendil howdy my name is erendil
you can find me on twitter at erendilio and basically nowhere else except maybe whatever
discords i may be in at the time and uh yeah it's been a hell of a 2022 hope you all have a good one
and take care in the new year i'm certainly gonna be freaking waiting because i actually enjoy playing this
game all that kind of shit when we're all here and i hope nobody gets canthrax or whatever the hell
yeah everyone's safe so yeah see you then and of course we have the ever revolutionary speakity
yes hi you can find me and my squeaky chair on twitter at super snake kick and you can find the
various concoctions and scripts and animated whatever's on alpha abuse's channel that me and
areendilio work on uh and you can find zorin at these coordinates 21 east
finally people can come visit come and see
and remember to also go check out uh the arendil and speaker day i've been working on is hunter the
parroting over on alpha boost this channel uh they've been buzzer but i think you guys recently finally got
to a 99 pin store and stuff and yeah because we need that yeah and also the awesome half-life
animations that the the guys that definitely go over to alpha boost this stuff you know
speaker d you're working on something special oh yes i am something that should ideally be in
a place to announce sometime soon so keep your eyes peeled for our evil project wait i already
talked about it yeah yeah yeah yeah you already talked about it in the video you fool oh yeah i
forgot i guess now i can tell you all yeah hi everybody i'm speaker d you know me i introduced
myself three times um i'm on a world of darkness live play with many of these very fine players and by
many i mean all of these very fine players sadly with the exclusion of our glorious dm thurston hillman
so if you're excited for this crew and world of darkness stuff you'll be having some delightful
surprises sometime soon most likely on alpha abuse's channel of course without the one that brings
rock grind to which grim dog who's one who's been helping us go through these amazing adventures and
is busting his butt off every single day for all of us thank you so much thurston for another amazing
session you're welcome hi you can find me at on call gm on all the things my name is thurston i am the
managing creative director for the starfinder role-playing game which we don't play here but
one day maybe we will um and part of the reason i can't be part of other shows and stuff is because
i have to do that as my full-time job but you can check out starfinder is pretty cool you can also
check out our patreon which i know we've plugged a bunch and i've plugged a bunch because there's
just a lot of awesome content we have a ton of content coming out including some of the maps and
stuff you've been seeing in our games and things like our pantheons and all sorts of stuff on the world
of time we're so excited to just get this all out to you and there will be much more content coming in
the new year we're kind of hitting hitting our stride so to speak so yeah um i am just really
excited for what we've got coming as you can tell maybe beyond the the gate of fog the wall of fog
there will be something uh fairly intense coming in the new year uh where we will see you again but
thanks all and thanks for all the support and just it's really cool and great to just have all of
y'all here so thanks again with that i think it's finally time for us to go goodbye everyone
thank you so much for sticking with us we'll see you all in the new year
going
oh
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.
We'll be right back.